Boyfriend’s Mom Set Controlling Rules for Our Trip — And Now He’s Mad That I Refused

Relationship Stories - OP was invited on her boyfriend’s graduation trip, but his controlling mom set rules that included no shared rooms. OP refused to go under those conditions, and now her boyfriend is upset with her choice.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to lost genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subreddadamii Ahole and it's by
user throw Ray forty nine. Twenty am I the APHO
for refusing to go on my boyfriend's graduation trip unless
we room together. My twenty three female boyfriend twenty three male,
will be graduating college in a couple of months. His mom,

(00:26):
thirty nine female, wanted to plan a graduation trip for him.
For context, my boyfriend doesn't have the best relationship with
his mom. They rarely see each other, although my boyfriend
and I live five minutes.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Away from her.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
From everything he has told me, there was a lot
of abuse when he was a child, and his whole
family is low contact with her. Her decision now to
the issue. She planned a trip with her boyfriend, his
two kids, my boyfriend's sister, and obviously my boyfriend to
another country. She told my boyfriend that he could invite

(00:59):
me if he wanted to, but I would have to
pay for my stuff, which I don't mind, and she
will be paying for my boyfriend's trip. My boyfriend had
no say in where the trip was going to be,
and his mom said we were not allowed to room together.
I would be rooming with his sister fourteen female and
her boyfriend's daughter, ten female, while my boyfriend will be

(01:22):
rooming with her boyfriend's son, fourteen male. We are staying
in an all inclusive resort, but I feel like I'm
only going to babysit. Even my boyfriend mentioned he was
scared of his mom would just force him to babysit
the kids. I'm also scared something will happen to one
of the kids, like if they fall and get hurt
or wander off, and I'll be blamed for it since

(01:43):
it feels like they want us to take care of them.
My boyfriend says I can pay for my own room,
but he doesn't think his mom will let him room
with me. I also don't want to stay alone in
a room in a foreign country, but I know this
is going to cause issues with his mom In the end,
I told him I wouldn't go unless we room together,
but he's upset since he wants me to go.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
So am I the a hole? What? No OPI You're
not the ahle. You're the only one.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
That kind of seems to have things put together the
right way. First of all, his mom is being ridiculously controlling.
You guys live together. You mentioned that you guys live
together five minutes away from her, and she wants you
to sleep in separate rooms because why it's either just
to be controlling or to start up crap like it's
already happening between you two. Now, you did mention that

(02:32):
your boyfriend was abused by this woman, and maybe that's
why he sees this as normal. But a twenty three
year old grown man that lives with his girlfriend shouldn't
be concerned about whether his mom allows him or not
to room with somebody else, regardless of who's paying for
the trip, which I also think is another way of
control here.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
So no, Opie, not the a hole at all.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend
and see other options for the trip. Maybe you guys
travel together and meet up with his mom somewhere. Anyways,
what do you guys think? Let me know in the
comments section, and now let's check out the community comments.
Educational bar eighteen oh nine says, I'd nope right out
of this vacation. I'm guessing you and he will be

(03:14):
babysitting that entire vacation. She's planning a vacation for her
and her boyfriend while you guys tag along to watch
the kids. If your boyfriend is scared, his mom is
going to force him to babysit and he has no
say in his graduation trip, I hope he nopes out
of it as well.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Don't go.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
This vacation is going to suck, especially if you have
to pay your own way just to watch their kids.
Not the ahle trail, Cia says, not the a whole.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Don't go.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Very simple, don't go, don't negotiate. It will only turn
into more issues with his mom, and then you will
be the bad guy.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Soon.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Your boyfriend doesn't seem strong enough to stand up to her,
so it is very likely you will be blamed. No
need to object yourself to this. Save your money for
another vacation. Really, don't start arguing. Simply don't go. Flock
together says she has a right to ask you not
to room with her son, but you have the right

(04:13):
to a not go or b get your own room.
You're under no obligation to share a room with his
sister and her boyfriend's daughter. And Micona nineteen sixty seven says,
not the ahole. It's not a graduation trip. It's a
family vacation and boyfriend is the babysitter, and if op goes,
she'll be paying to be a babysitter. This entire trip

(04:34):
is set up so the adults can enjoy the trip
while boyfriend takes care of the kids. Both of you
need to nope out of this trip and go on
your own getaway to celebrate. You have to pay, so
you might as well enjoy yourself. Just pick somewhere more
economical that OPI and boyfriend can't afford. Mom and her
boyfriend want a vacation, but they have minor aged kids.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
So what do they do?

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Invite the adult child long to babysit while they vacation,
Tell him it's a graduation trip so he'll go, then
stick him with the three teens or preteens. OPI wants
to go, sure she can pay and help watch the kids,
and OPI responds, I think this is a great idea,
but there's no way he's declining this trip. I do

(05:18):
think a trip with just the two of us would
be ideal, but the dates they chose this trip for
are the days I have off from school. Since the
kids will also be off from school, so if he
goes on this trip, there's no trip for us since.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
I'll be back in school.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Well, the community agrees that Opi is not the Ahle
and that she just shouldn't go, and they gave her
some more ideas. Now, OPI has given us two updates
to this story, so let's move on with the first
one to see what happened next. First off, thank you
all for all the advice. It has made me take
a step back and think not only about this situation,
but about my relationship. The day I posted this, I

(05:57):
had a conversation with my boyfriend that snowballed into the
worst fight we've ever had. He accused me of trying
to convince him to not go on this trip, which
isn't something I had even brought up. He said he
wants to go since it's a free trip to a
country that he's never been to. He did end up
telling me that his mom said no to us rooming

(06:19):
together for the following reasons. One, we aren't married, neither
are her and her boyfriend. Two, we're too young. That's
not vague at all, and three because I said so,
I spoke to my boyfriend last night, and turns out
some of you that suggested she might be helping him
with money were correct. She took out loans to help

(06:40):
pay for his schooling. They're all under her name, but
if she stops paying, he feels responsible for them. I
also think she was helping him out with grocery money
since he's part time, so she's pretty much holding all
of this over his head. He did end up asking
her if he was going to babysit, and she answered
the next day at eight am with stop being still

(07:02):
negative good night. He told me how childish and immature
she is. But the truth is, I don't want to
spend my life battling his mom. He promised me that
I wouldn't and that things will change when he graduates,
but I'll believe it when I see it. Part of
the reason I'm even contemplating going is because I want
to see what I'm signing up for and if he

(07:23):
is witting to stick up for me. If he doesn't,
then we're done. I won't waste years of my life
on someone that can't even defend me. He did tell
her that if I were to go, then I would
book my own room reservation. My idea since I don't
want any surprises now she's telling him is blowing things
out of proportion. They're supposed to talk tonight, and he's

(07:46):
pretty angry about the whole situation, so I'll let you
all know how it goes. Additional information from Opie's comments,
I think she confirmed that I was only going to
take care of the kids. She just gave my boyfriend.
Then of the resort, I looked it up and turns
out that a child and a teen stay for free,
but an adult has to be accompanying them in the room.

(08:09):
It's a package. But I'm thinking that's what she wanted
to do. Leave me with the kids that aren't paying
to be there, and her and her boyfriend can have
their own space. I haven't looked at the prizes or
compared it to how much she originally wanted me to
give her, but I think you're all right about not
going now. About my boyfriend's character, he's truly the best

(08:29):
person I've ever been with. He's everything I want in
a partner, and I want to believe that he would
stand up for me if it came down to it.
But I also need to be realistic and consider how
this situation has been handled so far. Also, yes, I
would much rather spend the money on a vacation for
the two of us to enjoy. He did offer to
pay for half of it yesterday. I forgot to mention

(08:50):
this in the post. But either way, we're both students,
plus the money I would lose from not being at work.
I know he really wants me to be there, and
I want to celebrate him, but I'm not convinced this
is a celebration for him at all.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
All right, Ope, he has a plan.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
So let's move on to the final update to see
how this story ends. Thank you all for all your
advice and support. I really needed to hear some of it. Unfortunately,
this isn't a good update. I am now essentially unwelcome
on the trip. I wasn't outright uninvited, but that's how
I interpreted it. My boyfriend talked to his mom yesterday

(09:27):
as planned. From what he told me, she called me ungrateful,
a brat. Said that I am trying to make everything
about myself, as well as other things I don't want
to think about right now. She said I was making
up excuses to get a room alone with my boyfriend,
which I was not.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
I have no reason to Lie.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
I asked my boyfriend about me getting the separate reservation
for my room, like we had talked about. That's when
he broke the news that she had already booked the
room for four adults and three kids and it's non refundable. Oh,
I'm pretty sure she did this on purpose to try
to get me to accept her terms. I'm not sure
if this is important to mention, but my boyfriend had

(10:09):
invited me on the trip last week and I told
him I wasn't sure. I told him to give me
a couple of days to figure it out since my
family member was in the hospital and we weren't sure
if they were going to make it, so obviously my
priorities were elsewhere. She knew this and booked the reservation regardless.
He started telling me how much he loved me. He

(10:30):
told me he was done with his mom and wants
to go no contact when we move, and that after
he graduates things will change. The trip is a couple
of months after he graduates, so I asked him what
is he going to do. He said he was still
going since it's a free trip to a country he's
never been to. I then asked him what was going

(10:51):
to change, and he said that he had to go
along with what she says because she's helping him. I
was trying my best to understand his situation, because although
it might seem easy for me, I know there's a
lot more at play. I asked him if I was uninvited,
and he said no. His mom said that I could
go on the trip as long as I went along

(11:12):
with what she wanted. I asked again if I could
get my own room, and he said no because he
doesn't want me to spend that kind of money if
it's not worth it, and said that would cause tension
and sense. His mom had already booked the reservation. She
would lose money, so her way or the highway. He
knew that I wouldn't go along with this, so pretty

(11:35):
much I can't go. He might invite a friend to
go instead, but I don't know. Last night, he said
that he felt like there was no winning with me
unless he doesn't go on the trip. If I'm being honest,
I do feel betrayed by him still wanting to go
on the trip after she disrespected me. But I'm also
so tired and emotionally drained. I'm not sure if I'm

(11:57):
valid for feeling like this. As of this morning, she
has officially threatened to cut all financial support. He says
he's at a point where he would rather not have
her support than have to deal with this. I know
that the reason she's doing this is because she's mad
at me, and this is her way of punishing me.
I tried to include all the details that I could,

(12:18):
but I might have forgotten some. I haven't slept in
over twenty four hours, so please bear with me. Well,
if I were you, I would nope. Out of everything here.
I mean, your boyfriend showed his true character. Yeah, I'm
willing to put up with the disrespect to you as
long as I get a free trip to a country
I've never been to, then I promise things will change.
He's negotiating against his own principles, or at least against

(12:41):
the principles that he says he stands for. Anyways, OPI,
here's wishing you the best, Take care and thanks for sharing,
and now let's move on to the next post that
also has an update. This post is from the sebarreddit
what Should I Do, and it's by user signature nod
sixty seven oh four. My girlfriend was posted on and
I think it was her. So the other day I

(13:04):
was an ex looking at my girlfriend's account, and she
doesn't really post a lot. It's more that she follows
a lot of people. But I was just curious. There
was this new guy who she had followed, so I
clicked on his account and the first thing I see
was a sexual picture of my girlfriend reposted. So I
went to this account it was reposted from, and the
picture was only posted the day before, which was the

(13:26):
same day that she had sent me the same picture.
The picture on X had been edited to hide things
in the background, as well as her tattoos. So my
first thinking was she had sent this to some other
guy who had posted it. But on further inspection of
the account, it seemed like all the reposts were things
my girlfriend would like. They were all very girly. I

(13:49):
recognized a lot of the reposts because they were things
she had sent me weeks and months before. Here's the kicker.
When I confronted her about it, the picture of her
immediately vanished. At first, she was playing dumb, saying she
had no idea that was going on. Then she kept
getting defensive, saying it's all just a huge coincidence. That

(14:11):
many people online try to impersonate other people. I was
very upset and didn't want to talk to her for
the rest of the night. But in the morning a
new picture had been reposted. The caption on it says
how her last post got taken down because it didn't
follow community guidelines. I feel like this is her doubling
down on the account, trying to make it seem like

(14:33):
it wasn't her.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Someone talked some sense into me, will it be? In
my opinion, I think you're focusing on the wrong thing.
I think the fact that it was a picture that
she sent you and then somehow ended up being owned
by somebody else, that her phone get hacked, that you
get hacked and somebody downloaded that information. Because the only
source of that picture is your girlfriend, so just like you,

(14:58):
regardless of if the other account is her or not,
the picture came from her. So that's what I would
be focusing on when having a conversation with her. Anything
else is just confetti. Still, personally, I think the odds
of her being able to explain this one away is
close to zero. What do you guys think? Let me
know in the comments section, and now let's check out

(15:19):
the community comments. Stephen Hicks the first says, Wow, she
is not only lying her ass off to you quite badly,
I must add, but it seems there's a possibility she's
getting away with it. Unknown Defiant says this doesn't read
like coincidence. The fact that the photo vanished right after
you confronted her points to her having control of that account,

(15:42):
or at least knows who does. The way her story
shifted from no idea to impersonation is a classic deflection.
When someone feels caught. That kind of defensiveness makes you
questioned your own reality, which is why you're feeling so unsettled.
Even if she isn't chad in the traditional sense, the
secrecy and lying are already major breaches of trust. Relationships

(16:06):
can survive mistakes, but they can't survive ongoing dishonesty. Unless
she's willing to be one hundred percent transparent and accountable,
you'll just end up doubting everything, and that's not sustainable
and either Inflation nine sixty says that definitely sounds sketchy.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Man.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
One thing that might help narrow it down. Did you
notice if that X account had any links in her
bio or posts pointing to OnlyFans or fancity, or even
a link tree. A lot of people use x as
a teaser page to Finnel traffic to their pay to content,
so if there's stuff like a link like that, it
would be a pretty big clue. If there's no link,
it doesn't completely rule it out. Sometimes people build up

(16:47):
content and followers first before dropping the of but checking
for that connection could help you figure out whether this
looks more like her running a secret page for money
or some impersonator just reposting stuff Opie's edit. We've been
together for five years. That's the only reason I'm second
guessing it's most likely coming to an end. And I'll

(17:08):
talk to her after work. If she doesn't admit this time,
it sucks for her for wasting five years her loss,
and if she does admit it, we'll probably won't be
together anymore.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
All right.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
Well, the community agrees that the girlfriend is lying about something,
either the account or the intentions for the account, but
they are trying to Hintopee about the red flag. So
now let's move on to the update to see how
this story ends.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Well, to those of you who were saying to not
investigate more. You were right.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
I talked to her last night and she finally admitted
it was her account. Her reasoning behind it she was
being blackmailed by her ex, which she had been sending
nudes and who knows what else while dating me. Somehow,
in her story, the only reasonable thing was to give
in to the blackmail. He wanted her to make a

(17:57):
Twitter account and post pictures for other dudes to see.
Her excuse for the other reposts and stuff was to
get more views, which was so incredibly crucial from the blackmail.
So to sum it up, she cheated on me, made
up some bizarre story, and played the victim.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
In the end.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
I think she just liked other guys seeing her. That's
not what I want in a relationship. So we are done. Yikes,
what a mess, o pee, But every road led to
the right outcome. You guys, being done, good for you. You're
out of there, So now go out and enjoy your life.
And here's swishing you the best. So thanks so much
for sharing and to take care. And now let's finish

(18:37):
this video with a mood booster post. This post is
from the subreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user illustrious
report for eight two.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
You want the server down during business hours? You got it.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
I used to work it at a mid sized logistics company.
Our warehouse ran twenty four to seven, but the corporate
office was open Monday through Friday eight am to six pm.
I was responsible for maintaining the internal server that handled
everything from payroll to inventory management to shipping labels. One
Monday morning, I got an email from a higher up,

(19:13):
let's call her Karen, demanding that we take the server
offline immediately for scheduled maintenance.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Now. I had scheduled that.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Maintenance for Sunday evening, sent out three notices and got
no objections, but Karen hadn't read those emails and was
now insisting we'd do it right now during her working hours.
I replied, taking the server offline during business hours will
temporarily halt access to the shipping system, inventory time tracking,

(19:44):
and payroll processing. Confirm you'd like me to proceed, she replied,
and I quote, yes, you should be working on my schedule.
Get it done now, all right, malicious compliance time. I
looped in the warehouse manager and let him know so
the system would be down per Karen's urgent request. Then
I pulled the plug at exactly ten thirty am. Within

(20:07):
fifteen minutes, the office was in chaos. No one could
clock in or out, print labels, track shipments, or even
check inventory levels. Phones were ringing off the hook. The
CFO stormed into my office, asking what the hell was
going on. I just showed him the email thread. Less
than thirty minutes later, Karen came to my office, red

(20:30):
faced and yelling. I calmly pointed out that she had
approved the server downtime in writing despite warnings. I offered
to restore access early, but reminded her it would take
time to reboot and check for errors from the forced
shut down fallout. Oh yes, she got dragged into a
meeting with the COO and CTO that afternoon. From what

(20:52):
I heard, it did not go well for her. After that,
all urgent IT requests from management had to go through
a change management with multiple approvals. I also got a
little bonus of my next paycheck for handling the outage
with professionalism. Sometimes the best way to teach someone why
we have procedures is.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
To let them break one once. Well.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Ope, if she wanted the system shut down, and I
agree with you, she broke procedure. I'm sure she's learned
to never do that again. Thanks so much for sharing, OP,
And that's it for today's video. Thank you so much
for taking the time to watch it now. If you've
gotten to this point in the video, I assume that
you like these stories that I'm reading out, so here

(21:35):
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