July 24, 2025 • 21 mins
Relationship Stories - OP’s controlling mother didn’t just disapprove—she demanded OP end her relationship. Tired of being manipulated, OP and her boyfriend secretly plan for her to move in with him while her parents are away for the weekend.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lost-genre-reddit-stories--5779056/support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lost-genre-reddit-stories--5779056/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subject at AMII a hole,
and it's by user I see resident sixty three forty one.
Am I the a hole for moving out without saying anything.
I twenty three female, currently live with my parents. I
have been dating my boyfriend, twenty four male for almost
(00:25):
a year now, and we have known each other for
many years. Recently, him and I started talking about the
future and when we would like to move in together. Originally,
we were talking about waiting another year so I can
finish college. However, after my mom caught wind of him
and I having these conversations, she lost her mind. She
(00:48):
told me that I shouldn't even be thinking about a
future with my boyfriend at this point in my life,
that him and I needed to back off of our relationship.
Then she went as far as telling me that I
am not allowed to see him more than once a
week for a couple of hours, and that he will
no longer be allowed over at the house anymore. And
it's her house, so I'll respect that. My mom is
(01:11):
very controlling and manipulative, and I have spent most of
my life doing whatever she wanted to make my life easier. However,
I'm ready to move out, and my mom would physically
stop me if I tried to leave. But her and
my dad are going to some convention this weekend, and
my boyfriend and I plan on moving me out while
they are gone. So am I the a hole for
(01:32):
packing up my crap and leaving without saying anything? No, OPI,
of course you're not the ahole. You're an adult. You
don't need permission to plan your future. Your mom's demands
to limit your relationship and block your boyfriend from the
house isn't about guidance. It's just about her being able
to control you. You've spent years trying to cater to
(01:52):
your mom's whims just to not rock the boat at
the cost of your own independence, and you should stop that.
You're not leaving to be reckless. You want to live
your life, and if she's willing to physically stop you,
then leaving without her knowing isn't only justified, it's the
thing you need to do. You don't owe her any
kind of speech. You owe yourself alive. So OPI pack
(02:13):
your essentials, documents, banking access, and anything she could use
to control you later move while it's safe. Let her
process it however she wants, but from a distance. You've
tolerated her guilt trips long enough. Op. Now it's time
for you to live your life. And what do you
guys think? Let me know in the comments section, and
now let's check out the community comments. Inevitable Speed seven
(02:34):
ten says, not the ahle, Cut the cord and go
live your best life. Be prepared though, that if she
would physically stop you, that she might step up. The
manipulative and abusive behavior Apprehensive Book four two one four says,
not the ahole. You're protecting yourself. Make a list of
what you need to do top priorities. Get your important documents,
(02:56):
take pictures and save to a cloud service for digital
copies too. Remember once you're eighteen, no one can have
your legal documents without your permission, so don't feel bad
about taking them. Make sure she has no access to
your bank account. If she uses the same bank, ask
them if you can add anything like a password or
two factor authorization for extra security. When you're settled, considered
(03:19):
moving to another bank, especially if she's ever been authorized
on your account. For work in school, talk to administration office,
your boss or HR ask them to confirm they won't
discuss anything about you with anyone else. Might want to
tell them you're dealing with a family situation and are
concerned to the family involved. Might make false claims trying
(03:39):
to get information about you. Take sentimental items, take anything
you've bought, Start packing what you can, and, if asked,
tell your mom you're just doing some cleaning or sorting.
If possible, Take smaller things over in small loads. If
you end up needing to do this over a couple
of days, do not stay at your parents' home overnight.
Stay with your boyfriend. If they return early, you don't
(04:02):
want to be in their home. If you still need
to get some of your belongings, request a police escort
to do so. You don't want them trying to claim
you broke in or stole things that aren't yours. If
she shows up while you're moving, unlikely, it sounds like,
but plan for the worst. Be upfront, tell her you're moving,
and if she tries to stop you, you're calling the police.
You might want to hire movers to help you get
(04:25):
out quicker. Once you're out, consider whether she might call
the police and finally, a false missing persons report or
request a welfare check. If so, get ahead of this,
call the police non emergency line and tell them about
the situation. Often they'll have a way to check in
with you to make sure you're okay. In this type
of situation, put your parents on an information diet or
(04:47):
go low to no contact if needed. It's not an
all inclusive list, just what I think are the top priorities.
Hopefully it helps you decide what your top priorities are.
Having a list should help you douce the chance of
forgetting something important. Good luck, Go live your life and
old and low sixty two says dead advice here. No,
(05:09):
you're not the ahle. When my parents started to tell
me how I needed to live my life, I packed
my crap and left two And here is the flip
side to this. I was fully independent from my parents
and supported myself from day one. Be prepared to do
the same. School fund's being cut off, the possibility of
having to drop out of school to work full time
to now support yourself. No more healthcare insurance either. Like
(05:32):
I tell my own kids, you're old enough to make
your own decisions, and you're old enough to live with
the consequences. Be prepared and Opie response. I am already
working full time. I pay for my own car and
have my own health insurance. I don't have to pay
anything for my college due to the GI Bill, and
I have my own health insurance. Also, my mom will
(05:54):
definitely freak out when I'm out, and I expected to
manipulate the rest of my family, but it's on them
if they because they know what she is like. Well,
the community agrees that'll be would not be the equal
and that she has to start living her life. And
it sounds like oh, Pie's got everything ready to do,
so so good for her. Now, we do have two updates,
so let's move on with the first one to see
(06:15):
what happened next. So, my boyfriend and I have officially
decided to go through with getting me out of my
parents' house. I have had my job saving boxes for
me for the week and I've been storing them at
his house. My parents leave tomorrow morning and tomorrow night
after work and my sister goes to bed, my boyfriend
and I will start packing everything up. My sister is
(06:37):
a heavy sleeper. I'm going to pack boxes in my
room and my boyfriend is going to take them to
our apartment. In his truck while I stay behind. Also,
just for context, I am on their phone plan, but
my boyfriend and I have decided that if they take
me off, he'll add me to his plan. My boyfriend
and I are on a car insurance policy together, and
I have my own vehicle and my own health insurance.
(07:01):
I have already filled out the paperwork for my bank
accounts to be changed. And I don't have to pay
for college because my dad is a VET, so it's
all paid for by the VIA. And on this topic,
my dad would never revoke my GI bill access. He'd
be disappointed that I left, but it's not his reaction
that I'm worried about. My mom is a loose cannon.
(07:22):
But I've already given a description of her car and
shown her picture to the people I work with, and
I've asked my boyfriend's family not to answer the door
if my parents come to their house, and if it
becomes a problem, they need to trespass her. Anyway, none
of my family has a clue that my boyfriend and
I signed and paid for a lease on a really
(07:42):
nice apartment about twenty minutes away from my parents. Both
mine and my boyfriend's therapists are telling both of us
it's in my best interest to leave if I want
to be able to grow as a person. My friends
say that my mom is controlling, and I'm twenty three
and I need to get on with my life. Truthfully,
while I agree with all of this, I feel guilty.
(08:05):
I don't plan on cutting off all contact, and everything
is signed and paid for, so there's no going back now.
Am I irrational for feeling guilty about all of this?
Or am I a jerk for leaving without saying anything?
I mean, I'm fully aware of how my actions are
going to affect those around me, and I'm fully prepared
to face whatever is coming my way. But I'm ready.
(08:29):
I need to get out. I'm not allowed to be independent,
even though I want to be. I as a twenty
three year old woman, I'm ready to have my own life,
and I'm taking the steps to take back the control
for my abuser. I've been faced with the choice of
continuing to be a victim of a narcissist or grow
up and do what it takes to save myself. OPI,
(08:51):
You're absolutely right. It comes down to a choice for you,
and I think you're making the right one. Now, I
understand those feelings of guilt because you've been can addition
for twenty three years. To feel guilty at your mom's command,
that's gonna take a little bit to wear off, but
you're on the right way anyways. We do have a
final update, so let's move on with that to see
(09:11):
how this story ends. My boyfriend and I have officially
moved in together. My mom is extremely angry. She called
me and yelled at me for thirty minutes and told
me that I was alone and that I had no
one to turn to except for your boyfriend and IM
guessing his family. He definitely has you back. She told
me that everything is always about me and that she
(09:32):
would be calling my therapist because clearly I must have
lied if my therapist was telling me to leave her,
and said that they're repossessing my truck even though I
am paying for it because it's in my dad's name.
They say me having it is a liability for them.
My mom called me yesterday telling me she was worried
that I may be living with a sociopath. She said
(09:54):
she spoke to my therapist and she told her that
she didn't tell me to leave and called me and
asked me if her and my dad could come pick
me up and talk to me. They claimed that my
boyfriend has manipulated me into cutting off my family, when
he has actually done the exact opposite. Through this process,
my boyfriend has actually been encouraging me to reach out
(10:17):
and even said that my family was welcome to come over.
He even said that if they wanted him to leave
the house when they come see me, then he will
do so because he doesn't want to keep me from
my parents. My mom has reached out to other family
members and spoke to them. I'm not aware what she
said to them, but they sent me a message telling
(10:38):
me they didn't wish to get involved. My mom has
made not one, but two Facebook posts telling everyone how
I abandoned my sister and left her to die. My
sister is twenty seven years old. She cannot drive due
to injuries from an accident in twenty twenty one, but
she is independent for pretty much everything else. My mom
(11:00):
has gone as far as telling everyone my boyfriend is
abusing me, which is a lie. She even said in
her most recent post that she was going no contact
and asked everyone else to do the same because if
they didn't, they would be supporting an abuser. So yeah,
my mom has already chosen to go no contact with
me because I chose to stay with my boyfriend. I
(11:22):
hope for a long time that I could make them proud.
Throughout therapy, I came to the realization that I'll never
be good enough in some people's eyes, so I stopped
living for them and started living for me. I wish
it hadn't taken me this long. FYI, this is not
me whining and crying about my choices. I am fully
(11:42):
aware that these are the consequences of my actions and
my choices, and I made my bed and I have
to lie in it. I'm not asking for pity. The
reddit users ask for an update, so I'm providing one, Opie.
Don't worry about the trolls and haters. I'm just gonna
highlight the most important part of the post for me,
and where you say that you stopped living for them
(12:03):
and started living for yourself and that puts you ahead
of the game. So OPI, congratulations again, and here's wishing
you and your boyfriend the best in the future. Take
care and thanks for sharing. And now let's move on
to the next post. That also has an update. This
post is from the Subreddedamighty Akle and it's by user permit.
Sensitive thirty six sixty nine husband says I jumped the gun.
(12:27):
I thirty one female, married to my husband, thirty three
male for fourteen years. I sold my wedding ring after
finding out he was cheating on me for ten years,
and I met with a divorce lawyer. He's angry about
me not trying to see if we could reconcile. I
apparently jumped to the gun after finding out about his infidelity,
(12:47):
as well as him shutting down for two weeks blaming
me for spying on him and saying I ruined his
trust and wouldn't talk to me when I found out
about the cheating. He didn't come for me, apologize or
ask me to fix things. He didn't beg for forgiveness
or ask to work things out. He said he had
work in a couple of hours and had to go
(13:09):
to bed. So because I sold the ring and met
with an attorney, I hurt him and now he isn't
sure about working on things with me because I didn't
really see if we were actually over. Did I jump
the gun or would anyone else have assumed their marriage
was over after discovering ten years of cheating followed up
(13:29):
by a cold, distant, blaming, stonewalling behavior. No, OPI, you're
not the Ahle and you know it. Your husband is
basically a darva meme. He cheated on you for ten years,
but you know you broke his trust because you went
to meet with a divorce attorney and sold your ring
when you found out about it. If him, OPI, don't
(13:50):
even give him a second of your time. Just move
on with divorce and try to get him out of
your life as soon as possible. What do you guys think?
Let me know in the comment section and let's quickly
go to the community comment schaef Sex says, not the
Ahle cheated on you for ten years and then blames
you for spying on him and ruining his trust in you.
That's your answer right there. Blame shifting, gaslighting, whatever you
(14:12):
want to call it. People like that, never change divorce
and make sure all contact goes through your divorce attorney.
Beach in Life one says, oh, bless his heart, you
ruin his trust. Are you listening to what he's saying
to you? Ask him why he imagines you care what
he thinks about working on things. Does he really think
(14:32):
that's his decision? It's not. You didn't jump the gun.
Honey followed through Lake Glenn forty two eighty seven says
there was no need for you to wait to find
out if you were already over. You were already over.
There was no marriage. He cheated on you for ten years,
maybe all fourteen years. The idea that you and he
were in a marriage at all all that time was
(14:55):
a lie. He told your relationship with him was dead,
deceased by his infidelity. What is over now is his deceit.
That's the only thing that came to an end when
you discovered his cheating. He ended your marriage itself long ago.
All you did was get the death notice. It's dated
twenty fifteen. Opie's edit. I'm not looking for validation. He
(15:18):
asked me to post because he actually thinks I screwed up.
I already feel like I'm not the a hole, but
he wants to see who agrees. I'm trying to show
him I'm not the only one who thinks he's in
the wrong. Also, I didn't sell my ring immediately. I
waited about two weeks during which time I tried talking
with him and working things out, which is when he
(15:38):
kept being an a hole. Well, of course the community
agrees Opie is not the a hole and called the
husband for what he was. And now we also understand
why Opie had to make this post. So now let's
move on with the update to see how this story ends.
First off, I want to say thank you so much
to everyone who responded. I know this looks like rage bait,
(15:59):
but he genuinely wanted me to get other people's opinions.
I posted this on Reddit while I was out on
my walk to cool down from our fight, so he
didn't get to see the post and how it was
going to be posted. Well, I got home and read
him the post, and yep, turns out I'm still the
a hole, he says. I left out a lot of context,
(16:21):
so of course anyone on here would disagree with him.
I painted him in a negative light and forgot to
add that he struggles with sex addiction, compulsive lying, ADHD, etc.
I'm sort of in shock. I don't know what to do.
I didn't mean to leave out details. Was I just
focusing on what he did and how I retaliated when
(16:41):
he went off on me. I thought he slapped me
because I feel like I can't do anything right. I
asked him before I left if I could just post
our fight, and he said he didn't care, so I did.
Now he's saying I messed up. I didn't think he
was abusive before, but now, what the F is happening?
I feel sick. He won't even look at the comments.
(17:01):
He is pissed. I apologized to him and actually offered
him to write his side, and he says no, because
I messed everything up and it doesn't matter now. I mean,
I think people can be reasonable, but the fact that
he's refusing to offer it is kind of telling, I think.
But I guess since I started it out the way
I did, his context wouldn't matter, which is odd now
(17:23):
that I think about it, because he was so mad
that I left stuff out. If that stuff would fix things,
then would it matter if he added it later? Final update.
Thank you again everyone for your input. It's very much appreciated.
I just need to let you know he did not
slap me. I'm sorry I was saying that after he
went off on me. I felt so shocked that it
(17:44):
felt like he slapped me emotionally. Another thing I forgot
to add is that he thinks he would have turned
out differently if his mom would have been a better
parent to him. At this point, maybe him just being petty,
but watching him try to add more context to the
situation is a little scary because before he just used
(18:05):
to say his childhood made him cold and that he
had a hard time opening up. He's a dismissive avoidant,
which kind of explains his coldness and stonewalling, I guess.
But now when he explains his childhood, it's chilling because
he will blame his mom for the way he behaves. However,
he will say it in a way that feels like
it's not his fault for continuing to be crappy. His
(18:28):
problems are just the result of bad parenting. A HOPI
just get rid of this loser already. Seriously, his arguments
are so ridiculous. Oh, I know that what I do
is wrong, but it's not my fault. My mom just
didn't raise me well. And that's when accountability left the building.
OPI stop indulging him, stop talking to him, just serve
(18:49):
him the papers and move on with your life. And
for the rest of us, let's move on to a
mood booster post to finish the video. This post is
from the subredded Malicious Compliance and it's by user Wow,
that's so cool twenty twenty three. You want me to
be on time? Okay, down to the minute. The time
keeping system at my job runs on a fifteen minute
(19:10):
increment schedule. Basically, if you clog in during the first
seven minutes of the increment, it rounds you backward to
the start of that segment. If you're in the last
seven minutes, it rounds you forward to the end of
the segment. Example, you clock out at four fifty two. Congrats,
the system says you left at four forty five. Now,
(19:31):
if you clock in and out multiple times a day,
like for lunch, that's four punches and potentially up to
twenty eight lost or gained depending on where you land
in those increments. Shortly after I started, I began getting
flooded with emails about being short a few minutes on
my timesheet and was told I had to submit PTO
(19:52):
even though I worked full eight hour days sometimes more.
It didn't matter that I was physically at work. If
the system I said I was short, I had to
burn time off, so I started paying attention, really close attention.
Here's the twist. My employer doesn't pay overtime in cash,
but they do give you one point five times time
(20:13):
off if you earn it. So one hour of overtime
equals one and a half hours of PTO with some
strategic clocking in and out, always landing on the helpful
side of the fifteen minute window, I've gotten good at
squeezing out those twenty eight extra minutes a day. That
adds up to one hundred and forty minutes, two hours
(20:33):
and twenty minutes of overtime a week, which when converted
at one point five times, becomes three point five hours
of PTO every week, all for doing exactly what they asked,
watching the clock very closely. Thanks for the free time off.
Well ope, they told you to comply to the system,
and you beat the system. Good for you. Thanks for sharing, op,
(20:58):
And that's it for today's video. Thank you so much
for taking the time to watch it. Now. If you've
gotten to this point in the video, I assume that
you like these stories that I'm reading out, so here
are a couple more that you might enjoy. And if
you don't have any time to watch another story right now,
save it for later, and also don't forget to hit
that subscribe button.
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subject at AMII a hole,
and it's by user I see resident sixty three forty one.
Am I the a hole for moving out without saying anything.
I twenty three female, currently live with my parents. I
have been dating my boyfriend, twenty four male for almost
(00:25):
a year now, and we have known each other for
many years. Recently, him and I started talking about the
future and when we would like to move in together. Originally,
we were talking about waiting another year so I can
finish college. However, after my mom caught wind of him
and I having these conversations, she lost her mind. She
(00:48):
told me that I shouldn't even be thinking about a
future with my boyfriend at this point in my life,
that him and I needed to back off of our relationship.
Then she went as far as telling me that I
am not allowed to see him more than once a
week for a couple of hours, and that he will
no longer be allowed over at the house anymore. And
it's her house, so I'll respect that. My mom is
(01:11):
very controlling and manipulative, and I have spent most of
my life doing whatever she wanted to make my life easier. However,
I'm ready to move out, and my mom would physically
stop me if I tried to leave. But her and
my dad are going to some convention this weekend, and
my boyfriend and I plan on moving me out while
they are gone. So am I the a hole for
(01:32):
packing up my crap and leaving without saying anything? No, OPI,
of course you're not the ahole. You're an adult. You
don't need permission to plan your future. Your mom's demands
to limit your relationship and block your boyfriend from the
house isn't about guidance. It's just about her being able
to control you. You've spent years trying to cater to
(01:52):
your mom's whims just to not rock the boat at
the cost of your own independence, and you should stop that.
You're not leaving to be reckless. You want to live
your life, and if she's willing to physically stop you,
then leaving without her knowing isn't only justified, it's the
thing you need to do. You don't owe her any
kind of speech. You owe yourself alive. So OPI pack
(02:13):
your essentials, documents, banking access, and anything she could use
to control you later move while it's safe. Let her
process it however she wants, but from a distance. You've
tolerated her guilt trips long enough. Op. Now it's time
for you to live your life. And what do you
guys think? Let me know in the comments section, and
now let's check out the community comments. Inevitable Speed seven
(02:34):
ten says, not the ahle, Cut the cord and go
live your best life. Be prepared though, that if she
would physically stop you, that she might step up. The
manipulative and abusive behavior Apprehensive Book four two one four says,
not the ahole. You're protecting yourself. Make a list of
what you need to do top priorities. Get your important documents,
(02:56):
take pictures and save to a cloud service for digital
copies too. Remember once you're eighteen, no one can have
your legal documents without your permission, so don't feel bad
about taking them. Make sure she has no access to
your bank account. If she uses the same bank, ask
them if you can add anything like a password or
two factor authorization for extra security. When you're settled, considered
(03:19):
moving to another bank, especially if she's ever been authorized
on your account. For work in school, talk to administration office,
your boss or HR ask them to confirm they won't
discuss anything about you with anyone else. Might want to
tell them you're dealing with a family situation and are
concerned to the family involved. Might make false claims trying
(03:39):
to get information about you. Take sentimental items, take anything
you've bought, Start packing what you can, and, if asked,
tell your mom you're just doing some cleaning or sorting.
If possible, Take smaller things over in small loads. If
you end up needing to do this over a couple
of days, do not stay at your parents' home overnight.
Stay with your boyfriend. If they return early, you don't
(04:02):
want to be in their home. If you still need
to get some of your belongings, request a police escort
to do so. You don't want them trying to claim
you broke in or stole things that aren't yours. If
she shows up while you're moving, unlikely, it sounds like,
but plan for the worst. Be upfront, tell her you're moving,
and if she tries to stop you, you're calling the police.
You might want to hire movers to help you get
(04:25):
out quicker. Once you're out, consider whether she might call
the police and finally, a false missing persons report or
request a welfare check. If so, get ahead of this,
call the police non emergency line and tell them about
the situation. Often they'll have a way to check in
with you to make sure you're okay. In this type
of situation, put your parents on an information diet or
(04:47):
go low to no contact if needed. It's not an
all inclusive list, just what I think are the top priorities.
Hopefully it helps you decide what your top priorities are.
Having a list should help you douce the chance of
forgetting something important. Good luck, Go live your life and
old and low sixty two says dead advice here. No,
(05:09):
you're not the ahle. When my parents started to tell
me how I needed to live my life, I packed
my crap and left two And here is the flip
side to this. I was fully independent from my parents
and supported myself from day one. Be prepared to do
the same. School fund's being cut off, the possibility of
having to drop out of school to work full time
to now support yourself. No more healthcare insurance either. Like
(05:32):
I tell my own kids, you're old enough to make
your own decisions, and you're old enough to live with
the consequences. Be prepared and Opie response. I am already
working full time. I pay for my own car and
have my own health insurance. I don't have to pay
anything for my college due to the GI Bill, and
I have my own health insurance. Also, my mom will
(05:54):
definitely freak out when I'm out, and I expected to
manipulate the rest of my family, but it's on them
if they because they know what she is like. Well,
the community agrees that'll be would not be the equal
and that she has to start living her life. And
it sounds like oh, Pie's got everything ready to do,
so so good for her. Now, we do have two updates,
so let's move on with the first one to see
(06:15):
what happened next. So, my boyfriend and I have officially
decided to go through with getting me out of my
parents' house. I have had my job saving boxes for
me for the week and I've been storing them at
his house. My parents leave tomorrow morning and tomorrow night
after work and my sister goes to bed, my boyfriend
and I will start packing everything up. My sister is
(06:37):
a heavy sleeper. I'm going to pack boxes in my
room and my boyfriend is going to take them to
our apartment. In his truck while I stay behind. Also,
just for context, I am on their phone plan, but
my boyfriend and I have decided that if they take
me off, he'll add me to his plan. My boyfriend
and I are on a car insurance policy together, and
I have my own vehicle and my own health insurance.
(07:01):
I have already filled out the paperwork for my bank
accounts to be changed. And I don't have to pay
for college because my dad is a VET, so it's
all paid for by the VIA. And on this topic,
my dad would never revoke my GI bill access. He'd
be disappointed that I left, but it's not his reaction
that I'm worried about. My mom is a loose cannon.
(07:22):
But I've already given a description of her car and
shown her picture to the people I work with, and
I've asked my boyfriend's family not to answer the door
if my parents come to their house, and if it
becomes a problem, they need to trespass her. Anyway, none
of my family has a clue that my boyfriend and
I signed and paid for a lease on a really
(07:42):
nice apartment about twenty minutes away from my parents. Both
mine and my boyfriend's therapists are telling both of us
it's in my best interest to leave if I want
to be able to grow as a person. My friends
say that my mom is controlling, and I'm twenty three
and I need to get on with my life. Truthfully,
while I agree with all of this, I feel guilty.
(08:05):
I don't plan on cutting off all contact, and everything
is signed and paid for, so there's no going back now.
Am I irrational for feeling guilty about all of this?
Or am I a jerk for leaving without saying anything?
I mean, I'm fully aware of how my actions are
going to affect those around me, and I'm fully prepared
to face whatever is coming my way. But I'm ready.
(08:29):
I need to get out. I'm not allowed to be independent,
even though I want to be. I as a twenty
three year old woman, I'm ready to have my own life,
and I'm taking the steps to take back the control
for my abuser. I've been faced with the choice of
continuing to be a victim of a narcissist or grow
up and do what it takes to save myself. OPI,
(08:51):
You're absolutely right. It comes down to a choice for you,
and I think you're making the right one. Now, I
understand those feelings of guilt because you've been can addition
for twenty three years. To feel guilty at your mom's command,
that's gonna take a little bit to wear off, but
you're on the right way anyways. We do have a
final update, so let's move on with that to see
(09:11):
how this story ends. My boyfriend and I have officially
moved in together. My mom is extremely angry. She called
me and yelled at me for thirty minutes and told
me that I was alone and that I had no
one to turn to except for your boyfriend and IM
guessing his family. He definitely has you back. She told
me that everything is always about me and that she
(09:32):
would be calling my therapist because clearly I must have
lied if my therapist was telling me to leave her,
and said that they're repossessing my truck even though I
am paying for it because it's in my dad's name.
They say me having it is a liability for them.
My mom called me yesterday telling me she was worried
that I may be living with a sociopath. She said
(09:54):
she spoke to my therapist and she told her that
she didn't tell me to leave and called me and
asked me if her and my dad could come pick
me up and talk to me. They claimed that my
boyfriend has manipulated me into cutting off my family, when
he has actually done the exact opposite. Through this process,
my boyfriend has actually been encouraging me to reach out
(10:17):
and even said that my family was welcome to come over.
He even said that if they wanted him to leave
the house when they come see me, then he will
do so because he doesn't want to keep me from
my parents. My mom has reached out to other family
members and spoke to them. I'm not aware what she
said to them, but they sent me a message telling
(10:38):
me they didn't wish to get involved. My mom has
made not one, but two Facebook posts telling everyone how
I abandoned my sister and left her to die. My
sister is twenty seven years old. She cannot drive due
to injuries from an accident in twenty twenty one, but
she is independent for pretty much everything else. My mom
(11:00):
has gone as far as telling everyone my boyfriend is
abusing me, which is a lie. She even said in
her most recent post that she was going no contact
and asked everyone else to do the same because if
they didn't, they would be supporting an abuser. So yeah,
my mom has already chosen to go no contact with
me because I chose to stay with my boyfriend. I
(11:22):
hope for a long time that I could make them proud.
Throughout therapy, I came to the realization that I'll never
be good enough in some people's eyes, so I stopped
living for them and started living for me. I wish
it hadn't taken me this long. FYI, this is not
me whining and crying about my choices. I am fully
(11:42):
aware that these are the consequences of my actions and
my choices, and I made my bed and I have
to lie in it. I'm not asking for pity. The
reddit users ask for an update, so I'm providing one, Opie.
Don't worry about the trolls and haters. I'm just gonna
highlight the most important part of the post for me,
and where you say that you stopped living for them
(12:03):
and started living for yourself and that puts you ahead
of the game. So OPI, congratulations again, and here's wishing
you and your boyfriend the best in the future. Take
care and thanks for sharing. And now let's move on
to the next post. That also has an update. This
post is from the Subreddedamighty Akle and it's by user permit.
Sensitive thirty six sixty nine husband says I jumped the gun.
(12:27):
I thirty one female, married to my husband, thirty three
male for fourteen years. I sold my wedding ring after
finding out he was cheating on me for ten years,
and I met with a divorce lawyer. He's angry about
me not trying to see if we could reconcile. I
apparently jumped to the gun after finding out about his infidelity,
(12:47):
as well as him shutting down for two weeks blaming
me for spying on him and saying I ruined his
trust and wouldn't talk to me when I found out
about the cheating. He didn't come for me, apologize or
ask me to fix things. He didn't beg for forgiveness
or ask to work things out. He said he had
work in a couple of hours and had to go
(13:09):
to bed. So because I sold the ring and met
with an attorney, I hurt him and now he isn't
sure about working on things with me because I didn't
really see if we were actually over. Did I jump
the gun or would anyone else have assumed their marriage
was over after discovering ten years of cheating followed up
(13:29):
by a cold, distant, blaming, stonewalling behavior. No, OPI, you're
not the Ahle and you know it. Your husband is
basically a darva meme. He cheated on you for ten years,
but you know you broke his trust because you went
to meet with a divorce attorney and sold your ring
when you found out about it. If him, OPI, don't
(13:50):
even give him a second of your time. Just move
on with divorce and try to get him out of
your life as soon as possible. What do you guys think?
Let me know in the comment section and let's quickly
go to the community comment schaef Sex says, not the
Ahle cheated on you for ten years and then blames
you for spying on him and ruining his trust in you.
That's your answer right there. Blame shifting, gaslighting, whatever you
(14:12):
want to call it. People like that, never change divorce
and make sure all contact goes through your divorce attorney.
Beach in Life one says, oh, bless his heart, you
ruin his trust. Are you listening to what he's saying
to you? Ask him why he imagines you care what
he thinks about working on things. Does he really think
(14:32):
that's his decision? It's not. You didn't jump the gun.
Honey followed through Lake Glenn forty two eighty seven says
there was no need for you to wait to find
out if you were already over. You were already over.
There was no marriage. He cheated on you for ten years,
maybe all fourteen years. The idea that you and he
were in a marriage at all all that time was
(14:55):
a lie. He told your relationship with him was dead,
deceased by his infidelity. What is over now is his deceit.
That's the only thing that came to an end when
you discovered his cheating. He ended your marriage itself long ago.
All you did was get the death notice. It's dated
twenty fifteen. Opie's edit. I'm not looking for validation. He
(15:18):
asked me to post because he actually thinks I screwed up.
I already feel like I'm not the a hole, but
he wants to see who agrees. I'm trying to show
him I'm not the only one who thinks he's in
the wrong. Also, I didn't sell my ring immediately. I
waited about two weeks during which time I tried talking
with him and working things out, which is when he
(15:38):
kept being an a hole. Well, of course the community
agrees Opie is not the a hole and called the
husband for what he was. And now we also understand
why Opie had to make this post. So now let's
move on with the update to see how this story ends.
First off, I want to say thank you so much
to everyone who responded. I know this looks like rage bait,
(15:59):
but he genuinely wanted me to get other people's opinions.
I posted this on Reddit while I was out on
my walk to cool down from our fight, so he
didn't get to see the post and how it was
going to be posted. Well, I got home and read
him the post, and yep, turns out I'm still the
a hole, he says. I left out a lot of context,
(16:21):
so of course anyone on here would disagree with him.
I painted him in a negative light and forgot to
add that he struggles with sex addiction, compulsive lying, ADHD, etc.
I'm sort of in shock. I don't know what to do.
I didn't mean to leave out details. Was I just
focusing on what he did and how I retaliated when
(16:41):
he went off on me. I thought he slapped me
because I feel like I can't do anything right. I
asked him before I left if I could just post
our fight, and he said he didn't care, so I did.
Now he's saying I messed up. I didn't think he
was abusive before, but now, what the F is happening?
I feel sick. He won't even look at the comments.
(17:01):
He is pissed. I apologized to him and actually offered
him to write his side, and he says no, because
I messed everything up and it doesn't matter now. I mean,
I think people can be reasonable, but the fact that
he's refusing to offer it is kind of telling, I think.
But I guess since I started it out the way
I did, his context wouldn't matter, which is odd now
(17:23):
that I think about it, because he was so mad
that I left stuff out. If that stuff would fix things,
then would it matter if he added it later? Final update.
Thank you again everyone for your input. It's very much appreciated.
I just need to let you know he did not
slap me. I'm sorry I was saying that after he
went off on me. I felt so shocked that it
(17:44):
felt like he slapped me emotionally. Another thing I forgot
to add is that he thinks he would have turned
out differently if his mom would have been a better
parent to him. At this point, maybe him just being petty,
but watching him try to add more context to the
situation is a little scary because before he just used
(18:05):
to say his childhood made him cold and that he
had a hard time opening up. He's a dismissive avoidant,
which kind of explains his coldness and stonewalling, I guess.
But now when he explains his childhood, it's chilling because
he will blame his mom for the way he behaves. However,
he will say it in a way that feels like
it's not his fault for continuing to be crappy. His
(18:28):
problems are just the result of bad parenting. A HOPI
just get rid of this loser already. Seriously, his arguments
are so ridiculous. Oh, I know that what I do
is wrong, but it's not my fault. My mom just
didn't raise me well. And that's when accountability left the building.
OPI stop indulging him, stop talking to him, just serve
(18:49):
him the papers and move on with your life. And
for the rest of us, let's move on to a
mood booster post to finish the video. This post is
from the subredded Malicious Compliance and it's by user Wow,
that's so cool twenty twenty three. You want me to
be on time? Okay, down to the minute. The time
keeping system at my job runs on a fifteen minute
(19:10):
increment schedule. Basically, if you clog in during the first
seven minutes of the increment, it rounds you backward to
the start of that segment. If you're in the last
seven minutes, it rounds you forward to the end of
the segment. Example, you clock out at four fifty two. Congrats,
the system says you left at four forty five. Now,
(19:31):
if you clock in and out multiple times a day,
like for lunch, that's four punches and potentially up to
twenty eight lost or gained depending on where you land
in those increments. Shortly after I started, I began getting
flooded with emails about being short a few minutes on
my timesheet and was told I had to submit PTO
(19:52):
even though I worked full eight hour days sometimes more.
It didn't matter that I was physically at work. If
the system I said I was short, I had to
burn time off, so I started paying attention, really close attention.
Here's the twist. My employer doesn't pay overtime in cash,
but they do give you one point five times time
(20:13):
off if you earn it. So one hour of overtime
equals one and a half hours of PTO with some
strategic clocking in and out, always landing on the helpful
side of the fifteen minute window, I've gotten good at
squeezing out those twenty eight extra minutes a day. That
adds up to one hundred and forty minutes, two hours
(20:33):
and twenty minutes of overtime a week, which when converted
at one point five times, becomes three point five hours
of PTO every week, all for doing exactly what they asked,
watching the clock very closely. Thanks for the free time off.
Well ope, they told you to comply to the system,
and you beat the system. Good for you. Thanks for sharing, op,
(20:58):
And that's it for today's video. Thank you so much
for taking the time to watch it. Now. If you've
gotten to this point in the video, I assume that
you like these stories that I'm reading out, so here
are a couple more that you might enjoy. And if
you don't have any time to watch another story right now,
save it for later, and also don't forget to hit
that subscribe button.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!