December 26, 2025 • 21 mins
Relationship Stories - OP is engaged and planning a wedding, but her fiancé insists she doesn’t get a say because she’s been married before. When she asks to choose her own dress, he issues an ultimatum that threatens the relationship.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to lost genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded amy Ahole and it's
by user better add two six. Am I the ahole
for telling my fiance I want a say in our wedding.
The title gives it away for the most part. I
twenty seven female, and my fiance, thirty male, are set
(00:26):
to be married next year in the spring, and he
has been telling me we are going to be doing
it his way or the highway, Like okay. He said
that since I was married before, that I don't get
a say in our wedding because you've already had one. However,
he seems to forget that my last marriage was very
much physical and mental abusive and cost me a lot
(00:48):
of issues that I will not this close here, but
you get the idea. I had divorced my ex husband
due to his issues and met the true love of
my life three years ago. We got engaged and yay
you we're getting married. But my now fiance keeps telling
me that I already got married, so he is going
to have a say in everything from my dress to
(01:10):
the color of the napkins. While yes, I know this
is special for him and I am more than willing
to let him have most of what he wants. I
at least want just a little say in things like
the colors and specially my dress. Like, yes, I've been
married before, and yes, I know he wants this to
be his special day as well, but I feel like
(01:32):
not having a say in at least my dress will
take away from it also being a special day for me.
I told him this and said he can have a
say over everything if he'd like, as long as I
get to pick my own dress, since I will be
the one wearing it, and if he would let me
have some say and some of the small things, I'd
appreciate it because it is our day. He told me
(01:54):
that since I've already been married, I'm the aho because
I'm not thinking about him or his idea. But I do,
and I love most of his ideas. I would just
like to have one thing to myself, like my dress.
He stormed out of the house, telling me if he
doesn't get to plan and pick everything, we will not
get married. What do I do? How do I go
(02:15):
about this in a way that makes us both happy?
And am I the equal for saying I want a
little bit of say even if I've been married before him, No,
OPI you're most definitely not the equal. And in my opinion,
this is one huge red flag. What do you mean
if I don't get to pick everything, we don't get married,
so he's holding the wedding hostage. Does he really want
(02:38):
to marry you? Because I'm guessing he kind of doesn't.
Now what a stupid thing to throw the marriage away for.
And I wouldn't put it past him that if you
do get married in the future, it'll be if you
don't do what I want, I'll divorce you and you
live under threat. This sounds like another form of abuse.
If you don't do what I say, I'll leave you.
You say he's your fiance and the love of your life.
(02:59):
I say he's an a hole and you should get
away from him as soon as possible. And what do
you guys think? Let me know in the comment section,
and now let's check out the community comments. Six Psychotics says,
not the a whole, but really think about if this
is how you want to spend your life. My way
or the highway will definitely not only be for the wedding.
(03:21):
Nibble Sybble says, you obviously haven't learned a thing from
your last marriage, You've immediately jumped into another abusive situation.
He sounds like a massive a hole and you will
be one if you marry him. Typically i'd suggest therapy,
but I can't see how this will help best to
get out now, and Opie responds, I'm starting to see
(03:43):
this and yes, it's been pointed out to me over
the last few days, so I'm starting to realize that. Unfortunately,
Swish candidate says, this guy is not the love of
your life. You traded abuse for abuse. He's holding it
over you that you were married before. This will not
be the first time that happens. Not the a hole.
(04:03):
You need to fix your guy. Picker on therapy before
you get in another relationship. I'm sure there were red
flags before this, and don't pe response. My sister has
also told me this and has helped me pick up
on a lot of his red flags that I missed.
She is the one who said I should post here too.
Maybe get more insight this week in the regency says,
(04:26):
so you've moved from one abusive relationship to another. That's
what this looks like from the outside. The idea that
you shouldn't have a say in your own wedding because
you've been married before is merely an excuse for him
to control everything. Take a look at your life. What
else is my way or the highway with him? If
he's throwing a hissy fit and demanding a breakup because
(04:49):
you want to choose your own wedding dress, either he
wants to break up and is making you the bad guy,
or you should run away and run far and fast.
Not the ahole. At the very least, I'd slow down
on the wedding date until this control issue is ironed out. No, actually,
i'd just walk away and ichi Jews twenty five, twenty
(05:10):
eight says, not the ahole. You don't get married to him. No,
he cannot have a say in your dress, and you
absolutely should have a say about the cake, colour's food venue,
et cetera. If he's unwilling to work as a team
on this issue, what other issues will have to be
his way or the highway. Also, it's traditionally considered bad
(05:30):
luck for the groom to see the bride's dress before
the wedding. He's got some big feelings about your previous
marriage and divorce. You need to attend some pre marital
counseling sessions to figure out if you two are on
the same page about what married life looks like. I'm
thinking this guy is giving. I'm the man of the
house and we do things my way vibes Opie's edit.
(05:54):
My family and his family are both paying for the wedding,
and no, I don't need to be married and I'm
in therapy. However, I know I will have to maybe
book a session or two after this is over. I
did go to therapy for my previous relationship. I actually
met him during my therapy stage, and he was a
very kind and warm hearted man when we first met.
(06:15):
This was one of the few things that my sister
pointed out to me that I didn't see. We're bad.
I was very blind to his small things due to
thinking he was just having a bad day. But I'm
starting to realize this is just who he is. I
haven't spoken to my therapist about him, but I have
spoken to a lot of family and they are also
(06:35):
starting to see a pattern with him. I will be
going over to my mom's house today to talk with
her about it and figure out my next steps. I
loved him and wanted a life with him. I wasn't
desperate to marry again. We did have a good life
and he was very kind. I thought this time was
going to be different, but I'm very clearly seeing that
it's not so. After reading a lot of the comments,
(06:59):
I agree with pretty much everyone. I already took my
ring off and left it at the apartment we share.
As I said, I'm going to go to my mother's
house and speak with her about my next steps, and
I will be talking to him once he's off of work. Yes,
I'm aware I missed huge red flags when I thought
he was very sweet and kind when we first met.
(07:19):
He was the complete opposite of what my ex was. No,
we don't have any children, but I do have one
from my ex. But my ex fiance has been kind
and loving to my son and has never done anything
to hurt him. No, I'm not dumb or stupid. Yes,
I'm aware I missed some huge things I should have
noticed in the beginning with his off days. I'm aware
(07:41):
I should have known from those days that he was
acting the same way, just in different ways to my ex.
I'm more aware now. I will talk to him when
he's off work, and if I'm able to update I
will thank you everyone for the feedback and opening up
my eyes a little bit more. The community was a
to give OPI a little bit of a shake, and
(08:02):
OPI saw the light. She took off the ring and
is going to her mom's place. So now let's move
on to the update to see how this story ends.
I've had quite a few people ask me for an update,
so here it goes. I suppose myself twenty seven female,
and my ex fiance, thirty male. We'll call him Chris
for her time saving purposes. So much has happened in
(08:22):
the last few hours, and I'm still trying to process
it all. Starting with after I left the apartment, Chris
was at work. I knew he would be off around three,
so I mentally prepared for the fallout. As I just
about expected. My phone instantly started blowing up with texts
and messages from Chris and his family asking me why
I left the apartment and my ring. I politely told
(08:46):
him I would like to talk, however, he would need
to meet me at my mother's house so that I
can make sure nothing bad happened. After an hour, Chris
is at my mom's house, where my mom and dad
were standing outside and my sister came to grab me
and let me know he was there. I told him
how I felt and I couldn't continue the relationship because
I've gotten plenty of advice from others that this is
(09:09):
not a good relationship to be in and I will
not be in another relationship with myself being miserable. This
didn't go over well, and he immediately started yelling and
saying a lot of mean things, showing more red flags
that I would have missed. Then got really angry and
said it's a good thing I have someone else anyway,
(09:30):
which made me laugh, and not a sad laugh or
a funny, just a I knew it laugh. He then
proceeded to try to backtrack and say something about not
meaning it. I didn't listen and just crossed my arms,
telling him to leave. He didn't. He continued to yell,
and my dad ended up having to make him leave.
As he left, he said I was a bunch of
(09:52):
mean things. I don't want to repeat. However, some things
that happened after I got the dreaded hey girly text
message from a close friend of mine, which yes, we
all saw coming, trust me, I know. To make things worse,
this friend of mine is a man. Yes, I know
a lot of the comments and messages I got made
it clear that this man is indeed not straight. I
(10:15):
didn't want to believe it, but I sat there and
realized a lot of small things, from his speech to
how sometimes it felt like he didn't want to be
intimate with me. I realize I'm so blind and didn't
see all the big flashing signs in my face. I
went through our whole relationship and all of the signs
for the red flags and homosexuality were there. I have
(10:36):
nothing against gay people at all. I just wish this
went a different way. I got a lot of proof,
and I wasn't even hurt. I was more relieved being
so honest. I knew I didn't want to message him anymore,
but that little part of me needed closure. So I
messaged him all the proof and said that I very
clearly needed out, and he made that known with his
(10:57):
attitude and now cheating and then blogged me, which cool.
Is fine. However, I got a call from his mother
asking me to forgive him, and he didn't know what
he was doing. So a little context. My family and
I aren't rich, but we are well off. His mother
proceeded to go on a whole rampage of telling me
how he needed this and I can't do this to
(11:20):
her little boy. So I messaged the only person I
can trust in that family, his brother forty three, who
will call Charles. His brother cut off his entire family
a while back, and I was told it was because
he didn't love them or care for their problems. We
talked for about thirty minutes and he told me everything. Basically,
(11:41):
Chris needed a good family to help his family, and
he found me through a mutual friend that told him
I was well off. I was a meal ticket for him. Again,
we aren't rich, and according to Charles, his family had
to take out loans to pay for their party in
our wedding, but made it seem like they were fine
and well off. No, I didn't know any of this. Yes,
(12:04):
I'm aware this is wild. Trust me, I'm still processing.
His mother proceeded to text me many messages until I
blocked her. I then blocked his whole family. I let
my mother know what happened and what Charles told me,
and she was fuming. She then called Chris's mother and
blew up. I didn't know my mother could say such
(12:25):
things to another human being. Honestly, I wish none of
this was true, but I'm glad I got the advice
I needed. I appreciate all of you for listening to
my rant and gave me tips. I will be staying
single for a while and I have already scheduled three
sessions with my therapist next month. I'm glad I didn't
marry this man. Thank you everyone. Wellp this was a whole, big,
(12:47):
messy drama, but the only good thing that's happening here
is that you are out. So now you just need
to focus on getting over this fiasco and move forward
with your life. So on that note, OPI, here's wishing
you the best, take care and thanks for sharing. And
now let's move on to the next post that also
has an update. This post is from the Subreddedamighty Ahole
(13:09):
and it's by user throw away No. Who am I
the ahle for the way I reacted when a former
friend tried to touch my hair. So yesterday I was
doing last minute shopping and I saw a former friend.
She and her husband came to greet me, and the
first thing she noticed was my hair. Now, I need
to preface this I'm a black woman and she's white.
(13:31):
I haven't spoken to her since twenty fourteen, the last
time she saw me when we were both in college
and we also went to high school together. I had
my hair straightened with a relaxer. I've been natural for
two years. She goes, hey, opie, and then she reached
over and tried to touch my hair. I leaned back
quickly and was like, no, no, we don't do that,
(13:54):
and then I tried to redirect by asking her how
she's doing. When she saw me leaning back, she tried
to reach for my hair again again. I leaned away,
and this time I took a step back and said,
please don't touch my hair. Firm and to the point
this girl literally attempted yet again before I had to
(14:16):
swat her hand away. I didn't make contact with her hand,
don't worry. And then she was like, why won't you
let me touch your hair? It looks so salt, and
then tried to touch my hair again. I felt so
disrespected that I just blew up. I said, bitch, stop
trying to touch my damn hair. If you want to
say hi, then say hi. Other than that, stop trying
(14:38):
to touch me. She got upset and told me I
was being mean and didn't know how to take a joke,
and then left. Her husband told me I could have
just went along with it, and I told him, well,
would you like it if people wanted to touch your
penis all the time? He got mad and left a
few shoppers saw the whole exchange, and we all agreed
that she was acting weird, so I felt justified. I
(15:00):
finished shopping and went home to vent to my husband,
and he thought the whole thing was funny and said
maybe I could have handled that better. I've slept on
it and keep replaying the interaction in my mind and
maybe he is right. Am I the a whole? No?
OPI I don't think you're the a whole. It's your hair.
If you don't want people to touch it, then yeah,
they don't get to. I do have to say that
(15:22):
I kind of think your analogy is a bit off.
Touching somebody's penis without consent is sexual assault. Now touching
your hair without consent is also wrong, but I think
the scale's a bit off there. Still, you do have
a point. People shouldn't go around touching other people just cuz,
regardless if it's hair or hands or feet or whatever
it is. So no Opie, I don't think you're the ahole.
(15:44):
And what do you guys think? Let me know in
the comment section, and now let's check out the community comments.
Fememalin says, not the a whole. Sometimes we mess up
the first time and do something unconsciously without really thinking
it through, but to go back for a fourth time
after getting rejected. She's not just tone death, she's flagrant delicious.
(16:05):
Brick three three nine says not be a whole. Anyone
who says take a joke just doesn't want to take
accountability and apologize like an adult. She definitely thinks she
can do whatever she wants. Glad you stuck up for yourself.
Never let someone cross boundaries that you clearly put up.
Twenty eight. Nikki says, not the a whole at all.
(16:26):
You made it incredibly clear that you did not want
her to touch you or your hair, and she continued
to try to disrespect that she's the ahle. Here's the thing,
we white women know better. She absolutely knows that it's disrespectful.
I'm sorry that you had to deal with this and
the people around the whole situation. You didn't overreact and
you're absolutely not the a whole and okay, Manufacturer seven
(16:50):
sixty seven says, not the a whole. People need to
stop touching people's hair. Four times. Geez, sorry, your husband
is okay with people touching you without consent and thinks
you should I've just stood there and led her. Edit. No,
there was no need to handle it better. You were polite.
Three times. Well, the community agrees Opie is not the ahole,
(17:11):
So now let's move on to the update to see
how this story ends. Thank you all. I've read all
of your comments, and I wanted to answer a few
questions that I've seen pop up here and there, both
in this thread and mighty ms, and I wanted to
give you all an update. Some of you were appalled
about my husband's reaction. He didn't laugh at me like hah,
this funny thing happened to you, but more like, ha,
(17:33):
how strange, if that makes sense. I also had so
many guys DM me saying that touching someone's penis is
not the equivalent of touching someone's hair without permission, and
that's the point. You shouldn't touch someone's genitals or any
part of their body without consent, be it hair, or
a foot or a butt. A shoulder tap is acceptable
when you need to get someone's attention. I've had people
(17:57):
DM me and ask me why she's a former friend.
When we started college, she wanted a party because she
was paying out of pocket I had scholarships. She met
her husband there and I met mine, and that was
that I learned that I liked to steady rather than drink.
I went to therapy for the last time until next year,
and I explained all of this to my therapist. We
(18:18):
both came to the conclusion that maybe I was second
guessing my reaction because I've never blown up like that
in public before. Maybe be a phone call or text,
but nothing like this. She told me maybe I should
find her on social media and not apologize, but maybe
tell her why her actions caused me to react the
way I did. I found her and she'd already dmped
(18:41):
me and apologized for her behavior. Apparently she was high
off of a few edibles. I accepted her apology and
left it at that. Again, thank you all, Smiley faith.
Well again, you weren't the a whole. You were just
setting very clear boundaries and now everything is cleared up.
So here's wishing you the best of p Thanks so
much for sharing and to take care. And now let's
(19:02):
finish this video with a mood booster post. This post
is from the subreddit petty Revenge and it's by user
premium Oxygen. My ex girlfriend got pissy. I wouldn't pay
her way, so I made sure she covered everything she owed.
My ex girlfriend and I split up a while ago
and genuinely wanted to be friends. It wasn't a messy
(19:22):
breakup or anything. It was just distance that ruined it.
We had the amazing idea of taking a trip together.
In my right mind, i'd have been against this, but
i'd also just started some new meds which stopped me
thinking straight, and I was just focused on how much
I enjoyed it when we traveled together. She booked the
hotels as we went, and we'd agreed to split the cost.
(19:45):
I also wound out paying for pretty much everything there, food, admissions, transport,
et cetera, as it was easier just doing it that
way when on the move. Some such admissions were the
equivalent of around fifty pounds or sixty seven US dollars
and only accepted cash. She didn't have enough physical on
her after the trip, which wasn't great, to be honest,
(20:05):
the first thing she did was text me reminding me
that I owed her for the hotels, which was before
I'd even got on my flight back. I said, no problem,
I'm going to work out what I owe with the
admissions off et cetera. Her response, You're not going to
pay because I don't owe you anymore. Haha, that's pretty funny.
Typically I don't mind buying things for people at all,
(20:27):
and wasn't even going to mention the food and drinks,
et cetera, as I generally do better than she does.
But that comment was just so unnecessarily bitchy. I went
through my expenses for the trip and got the exact
amounts of everything I'd spent on her, copied the receipts,
et cetera, and then went back and said, that's exactly right.
(20:49):
We aren't in a relationship after all. Turns out I've
spent the cost of the hotels and then a little
more so I think we're about even. What I said
was true, and I didn't send her a pen anymore.
She was just expecting me to pay for everything, as
that's how we were when together. She hasn't spoken to
me since, and I'm fine with that. Opie's edit. Just
(21:11):
to clarify something here. People are commenting like she's some
gold digger and I was financing her whole life when
we were together. We were just two people in a
regular relationship, and I treat her to things now and
then like any DiscId partner would. Welpie, that cleared it
up pretty quickly. I spent the same amount of money
on you, so we're even her blocking you is just
(21:32):
an early Christmas gift. Thanks for sharing, Opie, and take care.
And that's it for today's video. Thank you so much
for taking the time to watch it now. If you've
gotten to this point in the video, I assume that
you like these stories that I'm reading out, so here
are a couple more that you might enjoy. And if
you don't have any time to watch another story right now,
save it for later. And also, don't forget to hit
(21:54):
that subscribe button.
Hi everybody, and welcome back to lost genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded amy Ahole and it's
by user better add two six. Am I the ahole
for telling my fiance I want a say in our wedding.
The title gives it away for the most part. I
twenty seven female, and my fiance, thirty male, are set
(00:26):
to be married next year in the spring, and he
has been telling me we are going to be doing
it his way or the highway, Like okay. He said
that since I was married before, that I don't get
a say in our wedding because you've already had one. However,
he seems to forget that my last marriage was very
much physical and mental abusive and cost me a lot
(00:48):
of issues that I will not this close here, but
you get the idea. I had divorced my ex husband
due to his issues and met the true love of
my life three years ago. We got engaged and yay
you we're getting married. But my now fiance keeps telling
me that I already got married, so he is going
to have a say in everything from my dress to
(01:10):
the color of the napkins. While yes, I know this
is special for him and I am more than willing
to let him have most of what he wants. I
at least want just a little say in things like
the colors and specially my dress. Like, yes, I've been
married before, and yes, I know he wants this to
be his special day as well, but I feel like
(01:32):
not having a say in at least my dress will
take away from it also being a special day for me.
I told him this and said he can have a
say over everything if he'd like, as long as I
get to pick my own dress, since I will be
the one wearing it, and if he would let me
have some say and some of the small things, I'd
appreciate it because it is our day. He told me
(01:54):
that since I've already been married, I'm the aho because
I'm not thinking about him or his idea. But I do,
and I love most of his ideas. I would just
like to have one thing to myself, like my dress.
He stormed out of the house, telling me if he
doesn't get to plan and pick everything, we will not
get married. What do I do? How do I go
(02:15):
about this in a way that makes us both happy?
And am I the equal for saying I want a
little bit of say even if I've been married before him, No,
OPI you're most definitely not the equal. And in my opinion,
this is one huge red flag. What do you mean
if I don't get to pick everything, we don't get married,
so he's holding the wedding hostage. Does he really want
(02:38):
to marry you? Because I'm guessing he kind of doesn't.
Now what a stupid thing to throw the marriage away for.
And I wouldn't put it past him that if you
do get married in the future, it'll be if you
don't do what I want, I'll divorce you and you
live under threat. This sounds like another form of abuse.
If you don't do what I say, I'll leave you.
You say he's your fiance and the love of your life.
(02:59):
I say he's an a hole and you should get
away from him as soon as possible. And what do
you guys think? Let me know in the comment section,
and now let's check out the community comments. Six Psychotics says,
not the a whole, but really think about if this
is how you want to spend your life. My way
or the highway will definitely not only be for the wedding.
(03:21):
Nibble Sybble says, you obviously haven't learned a thing from
your last marriage, You've immediately jumped into another abusive situation.
He sounds like a massive a hole and you will
be one if you marry him. Typically i'd suggest therapy,
but I can't see how this will help best to
get out now, and Opie responds, I'm starting to see
(03:43):
this and yes, it's been pointed out to me over
the last few days, so I'm starting to realize that. Unfortunately,
Swish candidate says, this guy is not the love of
your life. You traded abuse for abuse. He's holding it
over you that you were married before. This will not
be the first time that happens. Not the a hole.
(04:03):
You need to fix your guy. Picker on therapy before
you get in another relationship. I'm sure there were red
flags before this, and don't pe response. My sister has
also told me this and has helped me pick up
on a lot of his red flags that I missed.
She is the one who said I should post here too.
Maybe get more insight this week in the regency says,
(04:26):
so you've moved from one abusive relationship to another. That's
what this looks like from the outside. The idea that
you shouldn't have a say in your own wedding because
you've been married before is merely an excuse for him
to control everything. Take a look at your life. What
else is my way or the highway with him? If
he's throwing a hissy fit and demanding a breakup because
(04:49):
you want to choose your own wedding dress, either he
wants to break up and is making you the bad guy,
or you should run away and run far and fast.
Not the ahole. At the very least, I'd slow down
on the wedding date until this control issue is ironed out. No, actually,
i'd just walk away and ichi Jews twenty five, twenty
(05:10):
eight says, not the ahole. You don't get married to him. No,
he cannot have a say in your dress, and you
absolutely should have a say about the cake, colour's food venue,
et cetera. If he's unwilling to work as a team
on this issue, what other issues will have to be
his way or the highway. Also, it's traditionally considered bad
(05:30):
luck for the groom to see the bride's dress before
the wedding. He's got some big feelings about your previous
marriage and divorce. You need to attend some pre marital
counseling sessions to figure out if you two are on
the same page about what married life looks like. I'm
thinking this guy is giving. I'm the man of the
house and we do things my way vibes Opie's edit.
(05:54):
My family and his family are both paying for the wedding,
and no, I don't need to be married and I'm
in therapy. However, I know I will have to maybe
book a session or two after this is over. I
did go to therapy for my previous relationship. I actually
met him during my therapy stage, and he was a
very kind and warm hearted man when we first met.
(06:15):
This was one of the few things that my sister
pointed out to me that I didn't see. We're bad.
I was very blind to his small things due to
thinking he was just having a bad day. But I'm
starting to realize this is just who he is. I
haven't spoken to my therapist about him, but I have
spoken to a lot of family and they are also
(06:35):
starting to see a pattern with him. I will be
going over to my mom's house today to talk with
her about it and figure out my next steps. I
loved him and wanted a life with him. I wasn't
desperate to marry again. We did have a good life
and he was very kind. I thought this time was
going to be different, but I'm very clearly seeing that
it's not so. After reading a lot of the comments,
(06:59):
I agree with pretty much everyone. I already took my
ring off and left it at the apartment we share.
As I said, I'm going to go to my mother's
house and speak with her about my next steps, and
I will be talking to him once he's off of work. Yes,
I'm aware I missed huge red flags when I thought
he was very sweet and kind when we first met.
(07:19):
He was the complete opposite of what my ex was. No,
we don't have any children, but I do have one
from my ex. But my ex fiance has been kind
and loving to my son and has never done anything
to hurt him. No, I'm not dumb or stupid. Yes,
I'm aware I missed some huge things I should have
noticed in the beginning with his off days. I'm aware
(07:41):
I should have known from those days that he was
acting the same way, just in different ways to my ex.
I'm more aware now. I will talk to him when
he's off work, and if I'm able to update I
will thank you everyone for the feedback and opening up
my eyes a little bit more. The community was a
to give OPI a little bit of a shake, and
(08:02):
OPI saw the light. She took off the ring and
is going to her mom's place. So now let's move
on to the update to see how this story ends.
I've had quite a few people ask me for an update,
so here it goes. I suppose myself twenty seven female,
and my ex fiance, thirty male. We'll call him Chris
for her time saving purposes. So much has happened in
(08:22):
the last few hours, and I'm still trying to process
it all. Starting with after I left the apartment, Chris
was at work. I knew he would be off around three,
so I mentally prepared for the fallout. As I just
about expected. My phone instantly started blowing up with texts
and messages from Chris and his family asking me why
I left the apartment and my ring. I politely told
(08:46):
him I would like to talk, however, he would need
to meet me at my mother's house so that I
can make sure nothing bad happened. After an hour, Chris
is at my mom's house, where my mom and dad
were standing outside and my sister came to grab me
and let me know he was there. I told him
how I felt and I couldn't continue the relationship because
I've gotten plenty of advice from others that this is
(09:09):
not a good relationship to be in and I will
not be in another relationship with myself being miserable. This
didn't go over well, and he immediately started yelling and
saying a lot of mean things, showing more red flags
that I would have missed. Then got really angry and
said it's a good thing I have someone else anyway,
(09:30):
which made me laugh, and not a sad laugh or
a funny, just a I knew it laugh. He then
proceeded to try to backtrack and say something about not
meaning it. I didn't listen and just crossed my arms,
telling him to leave. He didn't. He continued to yell,
and my dad ended up having to make him leave.
As he left, he said I was a bunch of
(09:52):
mean things. I don't want to repeat. However, some things
that happened after I got the dreaded hey girly text
message from a close friend of mine, which yes, we
all saw coming, trust me, I know. To make things worse,
this friend of mine is a man. Yes, I know
a lot of the comments and messages I got made
it clear that this man is indeed not straight. I
(10:15):
didn't want to believe it, but I sat there and
realized a lot of small things, from his speech to
how sometimes it felt like he didn't want to be
intimate with me. I realize I'm so blind and didn't
see all the big flashing signs in my face. I
went through our whole relationship and all of the signs
for the red flags and homosexuality were there. I have
(10:36):
nothing against gay people at all. I just wish this
went a different way. I got a lot of proof,
and I wasn't even hurt. I was more relieved being
so honest. I knew I didn't want to message him anymore,
but that little part of me needed closure. So I
messaged him all the proof and said that I very
clearly needed out, and he made that known with his
(10:57):
attitude and now cheating and then blogged me, which cool.
Is fine. However, I got a call from his mother
asking me to forgive him, and he didn't know what
he was doing. So a little context. My family and
I aren't rich, but we are well off. His mother
proceeded to go on a whole rampage of telling me
how he needed this and I can't do this to
(11:20):
her little boy. So I messaged the only person I
can trust in that family, his brother forty three, who
will call Charles. His brother cut off his entire family
a while back, and I was told it was because
he didn't love them or care for their problems. We
talked for about thirty minutes and he told me everything. Basically,
(11:41):
Chris needed a good family to help his family, and
he found me through a mutual friend that told him
I was well off. I was a meal ticket for him. Again,
we aren't rich, and according to Charles, his family had
to take out loans to pay for their party in
our wedding, but made it seem like they were fine
and well off. No, I didn't know any of this. Yes,
(12:04):
I'm aware this is wild. Trust me, I'm still processing.
His mother proceeded to text me many messages until I
blocked her. I then blocked his whole family. I let
my mother know what happened and what Charles told me,
and she was fuming. She then called Chris's mother and
blew up. I didn't know my mother could say such
(12:25):
things to another human being. Honestly, I wish none of
this was true, but I'm glad I got the advice
I needed. I appreciate all of you for listening to
my rant and gave me tips. I will be staying
single for a while and I have already scheduled three
sessions with my therapist next month. I'm glad I didn't
marry this man. Thank you everyone. Wellp this was a whole, big,
(12:47):
messy drama, but the only good thing that's happening here
is that you are out. So now you just need
to focus on getting over this fiasco and move forward
with your life. So on that note, OPI, here's wishing
you the best, take care and thanks for sharing. And
now let's move on to the next post that also
has an update. This post is from the Subreddedamighty Ahole
(13:09):
and it's by user throw away No. Who am I
the ahle for the way I reacted when a former
friend tried to touch my hair. So yesterday I was
doing last minute shopping and I saw a former friend.
She and her husband came to greet me, and the
first thing she noticed was my hair. Now, I need
to preface this I'm a black woman and she's white.
(13:31):
I haven't spoken to her since twenty fourteen, the last
time she saw me when we were both in college
and we also went to high school together. I had
my hair straightened with a relaxer. I've been natural for
two years. She goes, hey, opie, and then she reached
over and tried to touch my hair. I leaned back
quickly and was like, no, no, we don't do that,
(13:54):
and then I tried to redirect by asking her how
she's doing. When she saw me leaning back, she tried
to reach for my hair again again. I leaned away,
and this time I took a step back and said,
please don't touch my hair. Firm and to the point
this girl literally attempted yet again before I had to
(14:16):
swat her hand away. I didn't make contact with her hand,
don't worry. And then she was like, why won't you
let me touch your hair? It looks so salt, and
then tried to touch my hair again. I felt so
disrespected that I just blew up. I said, bitch, stop
trying to touch my damn hair. If you want to
say hi, then say hi. Other than that, stop trying
(14:38):
to touch me. She got upset and told me I
was being mean and didn't know how to take a joke,
and then left. Her husband told me I could have
just went along with it, and I told him, well,
would you like it if people wanted to touch your
penis all the time? He got mad and left a
few shoppers saw the whole exchange, and we all agreed
that she was acting weird, so I felt justified. I
(15:00):
finished shopping and went home to vent to my husband,
and he thought the whole thing was funny and said
maybe I could have handled that better. I've slept on
it and keep replaying the interaction in my mind and
maybe he is right. Am I the a whole? No?
OPI I don't think you're the a whole. It's your hair.
If you don't want people to touch it, then yeah,
they don't get to. I do have to say that
(15:22):
I kind of think your analogy is a bit off.
Touching somebody's penis without consent is sexual assault. Now touching
your hair without consent is also wrong, but I think
the scale's a bit off there. Still, you do have
a point. People shouldn't go around touching other people just cuz,
regardless if it's hair or hands or feet or whatever
it is. So no Opie, I don't think you're the ahole.
(15:44):
And what do you guys think? Let me know in
the comment section, and now let's check out the community comments.
Fememalin says, not the a whole. Sometimes we mess up
the first time and do something unconsciously without really thinking
it through, but to go back for a fourth time
after getting rejected. She's not just tone death, she's flagrant delicious.
(16:05):
Brick three three nine says not be a whole. Anyone
who says take a joke just doesn't want to take
accountability and apologize like an adult. She definitely thinks she
can do whatever she wants. Glad you stuck up for yourself.
Never let someone cross boundaries that you clearly put up.
Twenty eight. Nikki says, not the a whole at all.
(16:26):
You made it incredibly clear that you did not want
her to touch you or your hair, and she continued
to try to disrespect that she's the ahle. Here's the thing,
we white women know better. She absolutely knows that it's disrespectful.
I'm sorry that you had to deal with this and
the people around the whole situation. You didn't overreact and
you're absolutely not the a whole and okay, Manufacturer seven
(16:50):
sixty seven says, not the a whole. People need to
stop touching people's hair. Four times. Geez, sorry, your husband
is okay with people touching you without consent and thinks
you should I've just stood there and led her. Edit. No,
there was no need to handle it better. You were polite.
Three times. Well, the community agrees Opie is not the ahole,
(17:11):
So now let's move on to the update to see
how this story ends. Thank you all. I've read all
of your comments, and I wanted to answer a few
questions that I've seen pop up here and there, both
in this thread and mighty ms, and I wanted to
give you all an update. Some of you were appalled
about my husband's reaction. He didn't laugh at me like hah,
this funny thing happened to you, but more like, ha,
(17:33):
how strange, if that makes sense. I also had so
many guys DM me saying that touching someone's penis is
not the equivalent of touching someone's hair without permission, and
that's the point. You shouldn't touch someone's genitals or any
part of their body without consent, be it hair, or
a foot or a butt. A shoulder tap is acceptable
when you need to get someone's attention. I've had people
(17:57):
DM me and ask me why she's a former friend.
When we started college, she wanted a party because she
was paying out of pocket I had scholarships. She met
her husband there and I met mine, and that was
that I learned that I liked to steady rather than drink.
I went to therapy for the last time until next year,
and I explained all of this to my therapist. We
(18:18):
both came to the conclusion that maybe I was second
guessing my reaction because I've never blown up like that
in public before. Maybe be a phone call or text,
but nothing like this. She told me maybe I should
find her on social media and not apologize, but maybe
tell her why her actions caused me to react the
way I did. I found her and she'd already dmped
(18:41):
me and apologized for her behavior. Apparently she was high
off of a few edibles. I accepted her apology and
left it at that. Again, thank you all, Smiley faith.
Well again, you weren't the a whole. You were just
setting very clear boundaries and now everything is cleared up.
So here's wishing you the best of p Thanks so
much for sharing and to take care. And now let's
(19:02):
finish this video with a mood booster post. This post
is from the subreddit petty Revenge and it's by user
premium Oxygen. My ex girlfriend got pissy. I wouldn't pay
her way, so I made sure she covered everything she owed.
My ex girlfriend and I split up a while ago
and genuinely wanted to be friends. It wasn't a messy
(19:22):
breakup or anything. It was just distance that ruined it.
We had the amazing idea of taking a trip together.
In my right mind, i'd have been against this, but
i'd also just started some new meds which stopped me
thinking straight, and I was just focused on how much
I enjoyed it when we traveled together. She booked the
hotels as we went, and we'd agreed to split the cost.
(19:45):
I also wound out paying for pretty much everything there, food, admissions, transport,
et cetera, as it was easier just doing it that
way when on the move. Some such admissions were the
equivalent of around fifty pounds or sixty seven US dollars
and only accepted cash. She didn't have enough physical on
her after the trip, which wasn't great, to be honest,
(20:05):
the first thing she did was text me reminding me
that I owed her for the hotels, which was before
I'd even got on my flight back. I said, no problem,
I'm going to work out what I owe with the
admissions off et cetera. Her response, You're not going to
pay because I don't owe you anymore. Haha, that's pretty funny.
Typically I don't mind buying things for people at all,
(20:27):
and wasn't even going to mention the food and drinks,
et cetera, as I generally do better than she does.
But that comment was just so unnecessarily bitchy. I went
through my expenses for the trip and got the exact
amounts of everything I'd spent on her, copied the receipts,
et cetera, and then went back and said, that's exactly right.
(20:49):
We aren't in a relationship after all. Turns out I've
spent the cost of the hotels and then a little
more so I think we're about even. What I said
was true, and I didn't send her a pen anymore.
She was just expecting me to pay for everything, as
that's how we were when together. She hasn't spoken to
me since, and I'm fine with that. Opie's edit. Just
(21:11):
to clarify something here. People are commenting like she's some
gold digger and I was financing her whole life when
we were together. We were just two people in a
regular relationship, and I treat her to things now and
then like any DiscId partner would. Welpie, that cleared it
up pretty quickly. I spent the same amount of money
on you, so we're even her blocking you is just
(21:32):
an early Christmas gift. Thanks for sharing, Opie, and take care.
And that's it for today's video. Thank you so much
for taking the time to watch it now. If you've
gotten to this point in the video, I assume that
you like these stories that I'm reading out, so here
are a couple more that you might enjoy. And if
you don't have any time to watch another story right now,
save it for later. And also, don't forget to hit
(21:54):
that subscribe button.
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