Girlfriend Thought I Was Bluffing About My Dealbreaker—So I Just Dumped Her And Left

Relationship Stories - OP told his girlfriend tattoos were a dealbreaker. She waited until he left town to get a sleeve, then dismissed his feelings. OP ended the relationship, but she refused to accept the breakup and escalated.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre reddit stories.
This post is from the subreddit through off my Chest
and it's by user chicken Wing. Priest broke up with
my girlfriend over tattoos. She no longer agrees with our
breakup nuts. I want to preface this with a disclaimer
that there is nothing wrong with having tattoos if you

(00:26):
want and like them. They aren't my thing. Please don't
take this as a condemnation of tattoos or the people
that get them as a whole. So my eggs and
I were together about a year. Early on in the relationship,
she had mentioned wanting to get some tattoos. I told
her she had every right to do so since it's

(00:47):
her body, but I find tattoos very unattractive and I
would likely break up if she went through with it. It
became a small fight, and she was cold and passive
aggressive about it for a few days, but eventually she
said she understood and would not be getting the tattoos done.
Fast forward to about two months ago and she makes

(01:10):
another attempt to get me on board with tattoos. I
reiterate my stance and tell her again she can do it,
but I won't stick around if she does. I went
out of town to visit my cousin for a week
and came home to her with a partial tattoos leave done.
Her arm was basically one big scab. I ask her

(01:32):
what's going on, and she just nonchalantly says her and
her best friend had talked and agreed I was being unreasonable,
so she went ahead and used my time out of
town to get it done so I wouldn't be around
to be a buzzkill about it. She said she got
as much as the guy was willing to do in
one sitting, inked, and once she was healed, she planned

(01:55):
to get it extended. The tattoo was already a deal
breaker for me, but the blatant disrespect and casual way
she was implying my opinion didn't matter broke my feelings
for her right there. We foughed, and eventually she just
told me to get the hell out and locked herself
in the bathroom. Thank god she did this when she did,

(02:17):
because I was close to not renewing my lease at
my apartment and moving in with her. I packed my
crap up and left while she crap talked me to
her best friend on the phone. Dropped her stuff off
from my place. The next day, she told me I
was making a huge mistake and throwing a good thing
away for petty reasons. I just handed her the bag

(02:39):
and left. That was weeks ago. Didn't hear from her
until today she called me. Here's a brief summary of
the call. She goes, Okay, the petty drama has run
its course. You can move back in and move on, okay,
And I tell her, no, we are broken up. It's
over permanently. I don't want to get back together, and

(03:00):
she goes, we aren't getting back together. This was just
a spat that got out of hand. You've freaked out
and left in a huff. I know you're just too
proud to admit you're wrong, so we'll just call it
even and you can come back. So I said, no,
I told you repeatedly that tattoos are a deal breaker.
You did it anyway, and then disrespected me on top

(03:21):
of that with the way you went about it. We're done.
You can move on. Now find a guy that finds
your new incontractive, because I find it repulsive and won't
be able to look at you or that arm again.
The conversation goes in circles for a bit before I
hang up. Then she tries sending me some nudes in
an attempt to seduce me, but her body does nothing

(03:43):
for me now, and her sleeve was visible, which even
after it healed, was crossing and flattering. Told her I
deleted them and to leave me alone. Locked. She then
messaged me on snap saying she never agreed to a
breakup and I owed her a conversation face to face
if I wanted to end things. Blogged again. I know
it's bad form to be a guy calling his ex crazy,

(04:05):
but this girl is nuts, not the ahol OPI you
set a clear boundary. Tattoos are a deal breaker, and yes,
she was absolutely free to get them, just like you're
absolutely free to end the relationship. The way she went
about it, well that just solidified that you guys won't
work together. Her logic is ridiculous. She did it when
you weren't there, so you wouldn't be a bus kill

(04:26):
about it, but then she expected you to just accept
it when you got back. I wouldn't call her crazy,
but definitely not smart either. What you guys had is
not aspat. It was deliberate disrespect. And now she's acting
like you're overreacting for sticking to what you already told
her would end the relationship. You don't owe her a
face to face or a second chance. She made her choice,

(04:47):
you made yours. She's just mad she didn't get to
control both, block and move on. You're not the problem, herop,
and what do you guys think? Let me know in
the comment section, and now let's check out the community comments.
Matromo says, it's a bit weird to go from considering
a tattoo to a complete sleeve. I could understand her
thinking of we will get back together, had she some

(05:10):
small tattoo on her ankle or something. I know I
am definitely older than op and his ex, but I've
seen a few of these posts about one side not
accepting or agreeing to a breakup. When did that become
an option? Even when people said a breakup was mutual,
it never really was. But now apparently they have to be.
And Opie responds her original plan was a bunch of

(05:33):
smaller tattoos around her body, one on each ankle, shoulder,
and one on her lower back. Now she has a
partial sleeve with plans to get the rest done over
the next year or so. She didn't even do any
of the other ones she said she wanted initially. G
n up Terry says, I don't understand your point of
view regarding tattoos, but she's delusional with the way she

(05:56):
handled this. It was no way the relationship would work
out long term, so it's beat that had ended here,
and Opie responds, it's just a preference, nothing too deep here,
just to turn off for me. I don't think I'm
wrong in any way for having this preference, and a
Kimbo slice one says I'm not much of a tattooed
person either and wouldn't really be into it. That being said,

(06:18):
I'm thinking you guys really didn't have as much in
common as you initially thought. I think the bigger deal
breaker was how she got as much as she could
done while you were out of town, as leeve is
pretty hardcore compared to a simple tramp stamp. I see
her testing other red lines in the future and jumping
them to see how you would react. You likely dodged
future incompatibility, and DOPI respond, The thing is, lots of

(06:43):
the other things changed that I didn't like that I
was okay with because I did like her, and we
did have lots in common. People are in this thread
acting like I never cared about her and was looking
for an out, but I wasn't. She gained weight after
telling me she'd leave me if I ever put on weight,
and I never said a word. Still found her beautiful

(07:04):
and wanted to be with her. Same thing when she
kept changing her hair to colors I didn't like. I
was supportive because I cared about her. The tattoo was
one of very few hard lines I had in the relationship,
and the only one that was related to physical appearance.
Combine that with the disrespect she'd shown me and the

(07:24):
way she handled all this, and it killed my feelings
for her, not because of the tattoo. If she told
me she was getting that tattoo and put that ultimatum
out there, I'd have left, but would have respected her
decision and still cared about her. Would have tried to
stay friends too, if at all possible, But not now
after everything she's done. Opie's edit. This was great. Sub

(07:48):
really is great for getting things off your chest. Subname
and whatnot had a lot of fun reading responses, and
while I didn't need validation to know what I did
was right. I still appreciate the supportive folks. The negative
ones accusing me of being shallow, controlling, weird, and all
sorts of other things because I have a preference for
fun too didn't change my mind one bit. But I'm

(08:10):
glad you guys were able to get those things off
your chest as well. Well. The top comments in the
community agreed that OPI has a right to end the
relationship because it was a boundary. Apparently some people didn't
like that, but as op pointed out, the sub is
to get things off your chest. In any case, we
have an update, so let's move on with that to
see how this story ends. I came here a week

(08:33):
ago to vent about a strange situation with my ex
getting a tattoo, and it resulted in us breaking up
weeks later. She acted like our breakup was just a
spat and that I was being unreasonable. I told her
we were broken up permanently and blocked her. She then
tried to message me on other platforms demanding a face
to face meeting because she never agreed to the breakup.

(08:54):
In the end, the tattoo was a secondary cause of
our breakup. In my mind, she disregarded what we'd spoken
and agreed about early on in the relationship. When I
didn't give her the supportive response she wanted, she proceeded
to belittle me and insult me, then kicked me out
of her home, which we were close to having me
move into full time. She then locked herself in the

(09:17):
bathroom and loudly insulted me while on the phone with
her best friend, whom had been the one to convince
her to get the tattoo while I was out of town.
At that point, we were done. I took my stuff
back to my place and brought her stuff from mine
back to hers. So she showed up at my place
last night with a bag full of my bathroom stuff

(09:38):
from her place, just a bottle of body wash and
a few other things. She asked to come in and talk,
but I stepped outside and we talked out front, where
the cameras could see. She asked if I was really
breaking up with her over a tattoo, and I reiterated
that it was about more than that tattoo at this point,
and that I wasn't breaking up with her. I already

(09:58):
broke up with her weeks. So she tried to argue
with me that our relationship was stronger than that, but
I told her that it wasn't that. While I was
comfortable with her, this whole incident made me realize I
wasn't happy with her. Her treating me poorly was the
wake up call we both needed to go our separate
ways and find people we could truly be happy with.

(10:21):
She kept trying to argue that this was crazy and
I was throwing a good thing away. I told her
that I wish she'd just gotten the tattoo when we
started dating. We could have broken up and just be friends.
She said she'd considered it, but decided she'd rather be
with me than get the tattoo, so she lied to
me when she said she was okay not getting one. Then,

(10:44):
when I went on my trip, her best friend convinced
her to get it and claimed I'd get over it
and stick around. The guy that did the first part
of her sleeve was in old friends with benefits of
hers and agreed to do it for a discount. Conversations
sort of went in circles for a bit before she
tossed the bag at me and left crying, yelling, fine,

(11:05):
we're effing over then, so that's that she showed up
at my place like a lot of people predicted, but
no stabby stabs or anything. Friends told me she made
a bunch of vague posts about heartbreak on social media,
but I haven't seen any of it. Regardless of how
things went down, I hope she heals and finds herself
someone who can be more supportive of her choices than

(11:25):
I was. Thanks to those people who offered me support
for my decision, and to everyone calling me shallow, controlling,
and weird for my stance on tattoos, I gotta say
I had a blast reading those comments, absolutely hilarious. Well,
it's a good thing that things didn't escalate and that
you had that conversation in the view of cameras just

(11:48):
in case. But apparently she now agrees to your breakup.
So here's wishing you the best in the future. Opee,
take care and thanks for sharing. And now let's move
on to the next post that also has an update.
This post is from the sebredded amy a Hole and
it's by user Mama loves am I the a hole
for making a joke about bread. I forty female made

(12:11):
a loaf of white bread the other day. I've never
been much of a cook, so I was pretty proud
of myself. I facetimed my son, twenty two male, to
show him my success. For a little backstory, my son's
wife makes bread as a hobby, sour dough to be specific.
I don't like sour dough. The starter freaks me out
and I think it looks nasty and sour dough is

(12:33):
just too tough to enjoy. She posts it when she
makes it. My son will post pictures of the loaves
she makes when she draws a design on it and stuff.
Since he seems so interested in the bread she makes,
I figured she may want to see the beauty I made,
so as I'm facetiming him, I show him the bread.
We talk for a moment. My son and I have

(12:55):
always joked together, so I made a joke that my
bread was probably better than his wife's bread. I made
the joke because he knows that I prefer whitebread to
sour dough. He didn't say anything about the joke, so
I figured it just didn't land. I talked to him
a bit more, but he got busy doing other things,

(13:15):
so I said by and hung up. Later he texted
me and said that he didn't like my joke from earlier,
and he would prefer I didn't try to put down others.
I explained that I wasn't putting anyone down and that
the joke was about how I don't like sour dough.
He said it was odd for me to specify his
wife in the joke if I wasn't joking about her,

(13:38):
and I explained that it was because all she makes
is sour dough. He kept going with it being a
strange comment and told me to not specify his wife
and jokes again. At that point, I got a weird feeling,
so I asked if it was actually him messaging me
or if his wife has his phone. Then he blew
up on me. He said I was acting like an
a hole and that if I was going to keep

(13:59):
back that way, he didn't want me to message him anymore.
I still do think it was his wife messaging me,
if I'm being completely honest, and if it wasn't, I
think he is totally overreacting now he or she has
his sisters in on it. My oldest daughter even said
it is weird that you want to make bread all
of a sudden when you barely cook. Am I really

(14:22):
being an a hole because I made a joke about
how I don't like sourdough bread. Yeah, oh, Pi, you're
the a hole, not for baking bread, but for turning
it into a competition. You pretend it was a joke.
You don't usually cook, but you suddenly bake bread FaceTime
your son, who clearly supports his wife baking, and say
your bread is probably better than hers. That's not a

(14:42):
harmless joke. It's a passive, aggressive dig. Your son called
you out, and instead of owning it, you doubled it
down and accused his wife of texting you. That's deflection,
not honesty. This whole thing was about you wanting the
same attention your son gives his wife. You crossed a line.
Own it and what do you guys think you know?
In the comment section and now let's check out the
community comments, typo in creation says you're the a hole.

(15:07):
Why make the comparison in the first place. Putting someone
down isn't really a joke. It's just being mean and
putting him in a tough spot between his mom and
his wife. He reacted well and maturely, ignoring it and
then asking you not to do it again. Saying your
wife's bread is bad isn't a joke about not liking
sour dough bread. It's a statement that you think his
wife's baking is crap. Assuming that your own son can't

(15:29):
be protective of his wife and this must be her
is also extremely disrespectful to her. Again, so yes, you've
repeatedly disrespect your own son and his wife, who've both
done absolutely nothing to deserve this in this story, girl
literally just bakes bread. Tall Candy ninety sixty one says,
why are you in competition with your son's wife If

(15:52):
you aren't, why did you just apologize when he told
you he was upset at the joke you doubled down.
You're the a hole. Sugar Weasel says, you're the a hole.
Tell me you're a toxic boy mom who's jealous of
your daughter in law and resent her for stealing your son.
Without telling me that you're a toxic boy mom who's
jealous of your daughter in law and resents her for

(16:14):
stealing your son, Something tells me this is not the
first time you've made a comment like this, directly comparing
yourself to your son's wife and concluding you are better,
and then frantically trying to justify how you didn't mean
it like that. I bet your son is sick of
his mother putting down his wife like this and trying
to compete with her. Furthermore, doubling down on your bad

(16:36):
behavior by making the accusation of his wife being the
one texting you makes you the a whole even more.
Unless you are leaving out vital information that his wife
has a habit of being sensitive, controlling, manipulative, and texting
you from his phone claiming to be him, it is
pretty clear you are not only in the wrong, but
desperate to act like you aren't. I suppose you can

(17:01):
take solace in knowing that, despite your toxicity, you somehow
raised a son who shows his wife basic respect and
is willing to stand up for her when appropriate. So
kudos for that. I guess well, the community just agrees
that OPI was absolutely the a hole in this situation
and told her so in no uncertain terms. So now

(17:22):
let's move on to the update to see how this
story ends. I made a post asking if I was
the a whole over a distasteful joke I made regarding
my son's wife bread and comparing it to mine. In
making the joke, I was referring to thinking my bread
was better than hers because I made white and she
regularly baked sourdough, which I do not like. When making

(17:43):
that post, I was hurt by the argument that my
son and I had over this joke, so I came
here to try and prove a point, and that was
not right. I posted here to try and prove that
others could see that my joke was about how I
like white bread instead of sourdough, and not that I
was trying to put down his wife. To raise myself
back up when others very clearly sided with my son

(18:05):
on the issue and called me the a hole, I
got defensive. I told myself that people were not listening
to me and that they didn't understand when I was
the one who didn't understand. The way I worded my
joke absolutely did sound like I was trying to put
down his wife, even if that wasn't what I meant
to do. At the end of the day, that is
what happened. I truly don't know that his wife was

(18:27):
messaging me from his phone, and even if she was so,
be it clearly he would have to allow that. And
if she did such a thing and he didn't allow that.
Then that is a bridge they will cross on their own.
But at the end of the day, I felt it
was her speaking to me because I didn't want to
believe that the son who used to joke along with

(18:47):
me was disagreeing with the joke I had made. I
made a phone call to my son earlier to apologize.
I admitted that my wording came across as if I
were putting his wife down when that was not my goal,
and for that I was very sorry. While his wife
and I have our differences, I do love her. I
can allow my emotions to get the best of me,

(19:08):
and that is where my head was yesterday when posting.
She is a wonderful wife and I am very happy
my son has her in his life. She supported him
in great ways and that always makes me happy to see.
While I stick by not having an outright issue with
his wife, I see that my wording has come across
that way multiple times. Maybe I do have a subconscious

(19:30):
issue with the jealousy that I am not even realizing.
From here, I hope to figure those things out and
better myself. I want nothing more than to be better
for my children and their current and future spouses. In
the case of my daughters, wellop, I think you're making
a step in the right direction. You acknowledge what you
did was wrong, and you apologized to your son. Thus

(19:51):
I said, I think it's a good start. So here's
swishing you the best to be, take care and thanks
for sharing. And that's it for today's video. Thank you
so much for taking the time to watch it. Now.
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(20:12):
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