August 6, 2025 • 20 mins
Relationship Stories - OP got up early to cook his girlfriend’s favorite gourmet meal, only for her to toss it, call it gross, and demand pizza instead. When he pushed back, she called him unsupportive. Now he’s done.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the separated am I overreacting and
it's my user disease suggestion twenty three sixty am I
overreacting girlfriend threw away the dinner I cooked because she
wanted pizza instead. Girlfriend texted me earlier I was trying
(00:24):
to do something nice for her, wine braced short ribs,
her favorite. She said that just last night I got
up early to make them before work. I even made
extra of those little Morse cakes I begged on Wednesday
because I thought she'd want some, but I guess she
wasn't in the mood for any of it. She messaged
(00:44):
me during work, when is your break? Can you pick
up a pizza so I have something to eat tonight.
I told her I had already made the short ribs,
that they were ready in the pot, and the desserts
were there too. I reminded her that she just told
me how much she loved them, so I made them
special for her. She replied, I don't really want that though.
(01:04):
Can you just grab a pizza on your break? We
can eat that stuff later. I told her I was
locked in at work for the night and asked what
was wrong with the short ribs? It kind of sucked
to hear that after putting in the effort. Then she said, well,
I tried it and it came out kind of gross anyway,
So I'm tossing it. Can you ask to leave for
(01:25):
a bit and stop by a Papa John says something?
I just want stuffed crust. I was stunned. I asked her,
what do you mean gross? You tossed it, as in,
like threw it away. She said, it just tasted bad.
I don't know what to tell you. It wasn't eatable.
It's not a big deal. I just need to eat
(01:45):
something tonight for dinner. Though. Did you ask that meat
was expensive? It took hours to cook. I told her
I wasn't leaving work. She kept pushing, well, I don't
know what you expect me to do. It's simple ass
f repizza. Then, if you're busy, like I have to
eat something hello, places are closing soon. I didn't respond,
(02:07):
I'm at work. Then I told her, I'm busy at work.
I don't want to talk about it right now. Please
figure it out. We'll talk later. Then came the part
that really just broke something in me. She goes, Seriously,
you're gonna be this much of an a hole over this.
I didn't ask you to cook anything. If you can't
deal with the basics of being a supportive partner, then
(02:30):
it should be something I consider and find someone who
will support me. So yeah, that's where I am at
right now, tired of trying. I know I didn't ask
her what she wanted tonight for dinner, but this, this
wasn't the reaction I expected for doing something thoughtful. I'm
too tired and frustrated to even respond. I feel angry,
(02:52):
I feel small, I feel done. Opie, You're not overreacting.
You're seeing things for what they are. She told you
she loved that dish. You remembered, you woke up early,
cooked it with care, even made extra dessert. And that
wasn't just dinner. It was a gesture of love, something
a normal partner would appreciate. But she would rather trash it,
(03:14):
call it gross, and demanded that you drop work to
go get her a pizza, while at the same time
insulting you because you didn't jump to fix her mood.
And when you didn't cave, she flipped it and blamed you,
threatening to leave and find someone who supports her Opie.
Let's just call this for what it is. It is
a toxic, manipulative relationship. And you're finally starting to see
(03:36):
it that you're not the problem, and you're done being
treated like you are. There's nothing left to fix here.
You tried, you showed up, and she made it clear
that's not what she values. So just walk away knowing
that you're dodging a bullet. What do you guys think?
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
check out the community comments. Potatoes and Cake why not
(03:57):
says you really shouldn't be dating a teenager. I can't
comprehend this person being an adult. Sarcasm aside, get the
hell out of this relationship. You want to spend the
next forty years or whatever with someone who throws homemade
meals in the garbage, demands pizza from a chain restaurant,
and is seemingly incapable of ordering delivery herself, and as
(04:19):
rude as f to you, dude, there are so many
red flags in this exchange that you can open up
an Etsy store selling used red flags and become a
multi millionaire. Ok. Nos twenty two oh six says one
doesn't show appreciation for you getting up early to make
us something that she likes. Two throws away something you
(04:39):
could have eaten just because she didn't care for it.
Three apparently incapable of solving her own problems. Four threatens
you if you don't solve her problems for her, five
swears at you in your exchange, and six thanks. A
supportive partner is someone who caters to her wants, not
even her needs, and expects you to do so even
(05:02):
when you're at work. I could go on, but do
I need to ps. I'm a woman, and I'm telling
you to run This ungrateful, emotionally immature person needs a
reality check. You deserve better. Pompak who says she is
being very disrespectful of you, especially if you spent time,
especially cooking food for her. She wasn't at all appreciative
(05:24):
of even the thought of it, which is a red flag.
The comments in this last image were especially disrespectful, and
the comment about finding someone else warrants considering leaving the relationship.
You don't make statements like that to your partner if
you care about them, especially if it's over not getting food.
Curious Haven says tossed the girlfriend look at that last
(05:47):
message she sent you. Her goal was to make you
feel like crap, paired with a threat to break up.
If you don't jump to obey her every whim, she's
just going to repeat and escalate that behavior every time
you do, you disagree or you try to hold her accountable.
She doesn't respect you at all, and Nea ten twenty
(06:07):
three seventy seven says she could have at least sent
a text like hey, babe, I appreciate you cooking dinner,
but it wasn't my favorite. Can we order something else instead?
There was no appreciation shown, and just throwing it away
was rude, especially if you liked it. I honestly probably
would have just ordered myself something else to eat and
told you later that I didn't like it, et cetera.
(06:29):
Your feelings are valid. Well, the community agrees that OPI
did not overreact, is not an ecle in this situation,
and the girlfriend should become quickly an ex girlfriend. She's
a parade of red flags. So now let's move on
to the update to see how this story ends. After
spending the morning at a friend's house, I went ahead
and just went back to our apartment. I haven't really slept, honestly,
(06:53):
with how anxious I've been to just go and get
the conversation done, so I'm exhausted. Basically, I went back
to the apartment. She was there scrolling on her phone.
I went ahead and just came out with it and
explained to her that I can't keep trying to make
things work with someone who doesn't care about what I
do for them. She started to cry and tell me
(07:14):
it's just the way her brain works and it's not
her fault. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. It's her brain.
She says she's trying in her therapy and that she
feels like she doesn't deserve to be loved. I more
or less followed up and explained to her I can't
be the one to keep dealing with her when she
treats me like garbage. She basically got angry as hell
(07:35):
at this point and told me I never cared and
I never really tried, or I wouldn't just leave over
something so stupid. She then broke a glass I've been
keeping from growing up that was sitting on our counter
by throwing it on the ground, at which point I
just stopped talking. I spent an hour with her yelling
and begging me back and forth while I grabbed things
(07:57):
I have that are valuable. I'm just going to disappear
for bit at my friends. I need to figure out
what to do about the rent and stuff, since we
have a month until renewal. I know it's not really
all that crazy of an update, and it's just the
way it should have played out, but I wanted to
just get in and out and be done after thinking
about it and being ready to move on from being unhappy.
(08:21):
I appreciate everyone's comments and to the people who reached out.
I'll be honest, I feel like I've wasted a ton
of my life trying to help a broken person, and
it's just equal parts depressing while also a feeling of
being empty and tired. I'm going to try my best
to make things better in my life and only give
to people who appreciate me and the stuff that I do.
(08:44):
Well'll be considering everything you've done, the right thing you've
gotten away from that woman. Wow, she went through all
the emotions. She cried, she was furious, she broke things.
She said it wasn't her fault. Dude, this girl just
keeps bringing out red flax from everywhere again and good
for Euopie. You didn't dudge just a bullet, you dodged
the whole firing squad. And on that note, here's wishing
(09:06):
you the best, take care and thanks for sharing. And
now let's move on to the next post that also
has an update. This post is from the sebredded amiy
a hole, and it's by user Bonus West fifty thirty one.
Am I the a hole for not letting my ex
husband and one of his future step kids come inside.
Our custody arrangement is for each of us to pick
(09:29):
the kids up on our day during our two hour
pickup window. He arrived at the house and I already
had the boys ready. I saw his car pull into
the driveway on my camera, so the boys were already
halfway to the door when my ex knocks. I opened
the door and he is holding the hand of a
four year old. He asks to come in and says
(09:49):
his fiance's son needs to use the bathroom. I told
him I don't want him to come inside because I
don't feel comfortable with him in my house. He has
a history of snooping through my things. He asked me
to take his future step son to the bathroom, and
I said I was uncomfortable with the situation. He said
his step son needed to pee. I suggested the McDonald's
(10:11):
up the road. He said, my bathroom would be way
cleaner than McDonald's. At this point, my eleven year old
started pestering his dad to stop so they could leave.
My ex said, your brother needs to use the bathroom.
My son said, I'll take him. My ex said, no,
your mother would rather he pee his parents. We'll go
and hopefully we'll get to the McDonald's in time. My
(10:34):
ex and the boys left. He messaged me afterwards, saying
I was cruel to a child to punish him and
that's not okay. He said, I made us both look
bad in front of our kids and should be embarrassed
of my actions. I have been fighting with him for
so long. My prospective is screwed up. Was I in
the wrong? No, Obi, You're not the a hole. Your
(10:56):
boundary was reasonable. He has a history of snooping, and
you're under no obligation to let him into your home.
That said, you could have let your son take the
boy to the bathroom. It would have spared the child
discomfort without compromising your boundary. Now your ex weaponized that
moment to make you look cruel. That's manipulative. In my opinion,
(11:17):
I wouldn't even engage with his text. I would just
tell him that all future pickups must be solo for
him or arranged in advance. Then talk to your lawyer
about formalizing that in the custody agreement you weren't punishing
a child. You were just protecting your space, which you
are absolutely entitled to do. And what do you guys think?
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
(11:38):
check out the community comments. Somebody with a broken keyboard says,
not the ahle he wanted to snoop. This was obvious
after he rejected your son's offer to take the kid
to the bathroom. Sneaky, isn't he bad? Mom to Trance
says Okay, So I like to ask my husband these
scenarios and get his two cents. He seems to think,
(12:01):
because you have stated you've had multiple problems with the X,
that this was more about control. He wanted you to do.
What he said was the boy hurting and crying because
he had to go. If not, my spouse thinks it
was a power play by your ex. If it were me,
I would have asked my son to take him and
told the X to go wait in his car. But
(12:22):
if this deucee just liked to jerk you around, then
not the A hole. To dou LaRue says, not the
A hole. Time to do exchanges at Mickey De's, and
Opie responds, that doesn't work because he will be late
and then if I go home, he'll want me to
come back and say I'm denying him his custody time.
(12:43):
Judge said he can have a two hour window for pickup,
but it's not fair to me to have to sit
in a parking lot for two hours. So this is
what we agreed upon with the judge for both of us.
It's not perfect, but everything else we tried was worse.
And his cousin says, this was a power play that backfired.
You have a reasonable boundary enforce it without guilt. In fact,
(13:06):
your son probably respects you more knowing you aren't a pushover.
Oh and screw your manipulative X. Not the A hole.
The community AGRIZZOPI was not the A whole, and that
it was all just a power play by the X.
So now let's move on with the first of two
updates to see what happened next. I did talk to
(13:26):
my lawyer about what happened. He said, we can address
it at the hearing. We already have scheduled about the
movie situation. I thought that was that, but of course
it was my turn to pick up the kids today.
When I arrived at my excess place, he opened the
door very wide and invited me in. I was suspicious
and said no, thank you. He kept insisting I come
(13:48):
in so we can show the kids we are civil,
but I had a bad feeling. I said I would
just wait in the car for the boys to come out.
I got in my car and texted my older son
that I was there. A short while later, he texted
me back, saying his dad said they couldn't leave unless
I got them. I went back to the door and
knocked again again. My ex invited me inside. I said
(14:13):
I didn't want to come in, and that was when
my voice showed up. My exss fiance was right behind them,
telling them to come back upstairs. They ran to me
and we left. I don't know what this game is,
but I'm not falling for it. Whatever it is. Additional
information from Opie's comments. My son said he wanted to
go downstairs when I was at the door, but my
(14:35):
excess fiance said he needed to wait. Then when I
texted him, he went downstairs, but my ex sent him
back up when he hurt me at the door. The
second time, he ran downstairs with my younger son. He
doesn't know why they wanted me to come in, but
it's pretty clear they did. Also to clear up the
(14:55):
movie situation, I had plans to take the boys to
the movies, and he wanted me to not take them
so he could take them during his custody time. I
let them decide, and they wanted to go an opening
day my custody time I took them. He's saying I
shouldn't be able to take them to a movie. He
specifically told me not to take them too. I think
(15:16):
that only applies when it's a movie he doesn't want
them to see at all, not one He is okay
with them seeing, but merely wants to take them himself. Also,
to those wandering, he's not physically violent. He never hit me.
Even when the divorce was at its most worst levels
of contention, he told me I was worthless, that no
man would ever want me. That I was nothing without me,
(15:38):
but he never touched me. So, yes, he has inflicted
a great deal of psychological damage on me, but he
has never touched me in any way without my explicit consent.
And you want to know something funny. Spending time with
him was the best part. It was everything else that sucked.
I had no privacy. He went through my phone and
computer almost every night. If I asked to use my
(16:01):
phone while he was going through it, I was aiding something.
He would dig through my drawers looking for hidden stuff
and mess everything up, and if I complained, he would
do it again because there must have been something there.
If I was complaining, I had to account for every
penny I spent, every moment I wasn't being productive when
we were doing things together. He was so charming, funny
(16:24):
and sweet. He's so handsome and smart and fit. But
it got to the point where I was scared whenever
he wasn't around, because I couldn't trust myself to make
decisions without his approval. I was becoming a shell of myself.
Will it be, First of all, congratulations on being able
to get yourself out of that toxic and abusive relationship.
(16:44):
It's also a good thing. You didn't go into that house.
For all you know, they were trying to entrap you
or something because of your upcoming hearing. And speaking of
the hearing, let's not waste any more time and go
straight to the final update to see how this story ends.
Just concluded our hearing and it went toky. All things considered,
judge said that neither of us need the permission of
(17:05):
the other to take the children to age appropriate experiences
like movies. He told X not to tell me I
can't take the kids to do certain things because he
wants to do them. If he wants to do them,
he can, but so can I, so that was a win.
The judge was annoyed that there was another drop off issue.
He was specially annoyed because the reason he gave my
(17:28):
ex a two hour window for drop offs was because
he said he needed the flexibility since he is a
caretaker of his fiance's children. If he's taking them to
drop offs, why does he need a two hour window.
The judge told them, do not take his fiance's children
to my house and do not ask to come inside
my house. He told me not to ask to go
(17:52):
inside his house either. He also told me not to
rush my ex and to be patient and allow the
children time to come to the door. I wasn't rushing him,
but I didn't say that to the judge. I just agreed.
X also dropped the bombshell that the week of the wedding,
he needs me to pick the kids up from the
resort the wedding is at instead of his house, because
(18:13):
they are going on their honeymoon straight from their resort
and not returning home. I am very uncomfortable with this,
and my lawyer said that it's too much of a
burden to put on me. The judge disagreed with my
lawyer and said we all have to be flexible sometimes,
so I'm stuck doing that. To the best of my understanding,
the wedding will end very late the night before, and
(18:35):
their flight is sometime in the afternoon of the pickup day.
I don't really understand the logistics of the thing. However,
I am less stressed now though, because at today's pickup
my ex just stayed in the car and texted our
oldest that he was here. Progress anyway. I feel like
he intentionally started fights about the previous two issues he
(18:58):
knew he would lose on so the judge would side
with him on the final issue to make things fair.
Maybe I'm just paranoid. In any case, my lawyer said
it's fine to have a ring camera or a dash cam,
but not to record things on my phone unless my
ex is doing something really bad, because our judge really
(19:18):
hates people who record everything and it will prejudice him
against me. So two wins and a loss. I feel
good about that, even though I am incredibly stressed out,
I am worried he's going to try to trick me
into doing or saying something that can be perceived as
hostile and to tell the judge I sabotaged his wedding.
Hopefully they'll be too happy about being married to pull
(19:40):
any stunts. Well, Abe, if I'm with you, two wins
and a loss is something I think you can live with,
considering you just have to go pick them up at
the wedding. Hopefully you don't interact with anybody and just
can move on with your life, and hopefully with the
new rules, you just see progress every time. So on
that note, here's pushing you and your kids the best
to Bee, thanks for sharing an to take care, and
(20:02):
that's it for today's video. Thank you so much for
taking the time to watch it now. If you've gotten
to this point in the video, I assume that you
like these stories that I'm reading out, so here are
a couple more that you might enjoy. And if you
don't have any time to watch another story right now,
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Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the separated am I overreacting and
it's my user disease suggestion twenty three sixty am I
overreacting girlfriend threw away the dinner I cooked because she
wanted pizza instead. Girlfriend texted me earlier I was trying
(00:24):
to do something nice for her, wine braced short ribs,
her favorite. She said that just last night I got
up early to make them before work. I even made
extra of those little Morse cakes I begged on Wednesday
because I thought she'd want some, but I guess she
wasn't in the mood for any of it. She messaged
(00:44):
me during work, when is your break? Can you pick
up a pizza so I have something to eat tonight.
I told her I had already made the short ribs,
that they were ready in the pot, and the desserts
were there too. I reminded her that she just told
me how much she loved them, so I made them
special for her. She replied, I don't really want that though.
(01:04):
Can you just grab a pizza on your break? We
can eat that stuff later. I told her I was
locked in at work for the night and asked what
was wrong with the short ribs? It kind of sucked
to hear that after putting in the effort. Then she said, well,
I tried it and it came out kind of gross anyway,
So I'm tossing it. Can you ask to leave for
(01:25):
a bit and stop by a Papa John says something?
I just want stuffed crust. I was stunned. I asked her,
what do you mean gross? You tossed it, as in,
like threw it away. She said, it just tasted bad.
I don't know what to tell you. It wasn't eatable.
It's not a big deal. I just need to eat
(01:45):
something tonight for dinner. Though. Did you ask that meat
was expensive? It took hours to cook. I told her
I wasn't leaving work. She kept pushing, well, I don't
know what you expect me to do. It's simple ass
f repizza. Then, if you're busy, like I have to
eat something hello, places are closing soon. I didn't respond,
(02:07):
I'm at work. Then I told her, I'm busy at work.
I don't want to talk about it right now. Please
figure it out. We'll talk later. Then came the part
that really just broke something in me. She goes, Seriously,
you're gonna be this much of an a hole over this.
I didn't ask you to cook anything. If you can't
deal with the basics of being a supportive partner, then
(02:30):
it should be something I consider and find someone who
will support me. So yeah, that's where I am at
right now, tired of trying. I know I didn't ask
her what she wanted tonight for dinner, but this, this
wasn't the reaction I expected for doing something thoughtful. I'm
too tired and frustrated to even respond. I feel angry,
(02:52):
I feel small, I feel done. Opie, You're not overreacting.
You're seeing things for what they are. She told you
she loved that dish. You remembered, you woke up early,
cooked it with care, even made extra dessert. And that
wasn't just dinner. It was a gesture of love, something
a normal partner would appreciate. But she would rather trash it,
(03:14):
call it gross, and demanded that you drop work to
go get her a pizza, while at the same time
insulting you because you didn't jump to fix her mood.
And when you didn't cave, she flipped it and blamed you,
threatening to leave and find someone who supports her Opie.
Let's just call this for what it is. It is
a toxic, manipulative relationship. And you're finally starting to see
(03:36):
it that you're not the problem, and you're done being
treated like you are. There's nothing left to fix here.
You tried, you showed up, and she made it clear
that's not what she values. So just walk away knowing
that you're dodging a bullet. What do you guys think?
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
check out the community comments. Potatoes and Cake why not
(03:57):
says you really shouldn't be dating a teenager. I can't
comprehend this person being an adult. Sarcasm aside, get the
hell out of this relationship. You want to spend the
next forty years or whatever with someone who throws homemade
meals in the garbage, demands pizza from a chain restaurant,
and is seemingly incapable of ordering delivery herself, and as
(04:19):
rude as f to you, dude, there are so many
red flags in this exchange that you can open up
an Etsy store selling used red flags and become a
multi millionaire. Ok. Nos twenty two oh six says one
doesn't show appreciation for you getting up early to make
us something that she likes. Two throws away something you
(04:39):
could have eaten just because she didn't care for it.
Three apparently incapable of solving her own problems. Four threatens
you if you don't solve her problems for her, five
swears at you in your exchange, and six thanks. A
supportive partner is someone who caters to her wants, not
even her needs, and expects you to do so even
(05:02):
when you're at work. I could go on, but do
I need to ps. I'm a woman, and I'm telling
you to run This ungrateful, emotionally immature person needs a
reality check. You deserve better. Pompak who says she is
being very disrespectful of you, especially if you spent time,
especially cooking food for her. She wasn't at all appreciative
(05:24):
of even the thought of it, which is a red flag.
The comments in this last image were especially disrespectful, and
the comment about finding someone else warrants considering leaving the relationship.
You don't make statements like that to your partner if
you care about them, especially if it's over not getting food.
Curious Haven says tossed the girlfriend look at that last
(05:47):
message she sent you. Her goal was to make you
feel like crap, paired with a threat to break up.
If you don't jump to obey her every whim, she's
just going to repeat and escalate that behavior every time
you do, you disagree or you try to hold her accountable.
She doesn't respect you at all, and Nea ten twenty
(06:07):
three seventy seven says she could have at least sent
a text like hey, babe, I appreciate you cooking dinner,
but it wasn't my favorite. Can we order something else instead?
There was no appreciation shown, and just throwing it away
was rude, especially if you liked it. I honestly probably
would have just ordered myself something else to eat and
told you later that I didn't like it, et cetera.
(06:29):
Your feelings are valid. Well, the community agrees that OPI
did not overreact, is not an ecle in this situation,
and the girlfriend should become quickly an ex girlfriend. She's
a parade of red flags. So now let's move on
to the update to see how this story ends. After
spending the morning at a friend's house, I went ahead
and just went back to our apartment. I haven't really slept, honestly,
(06:53):
with how anxious I've been to just go and get
the conversation done, so I'm exhausted. Basically, I went back
to the apartment. She was there scrolling on her phone.
I went ahead and just came out with it and
explained to her that I can't keep trying to make
things work with someone who doesn't care about what I
do for them. She started to cry and tell me
(07:14):
it's just the way her brain works and it's not
her fault. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. It's her brain.
She says she's trying in her therapy and that she
feels like she doesn't deserve to be loved. I more
or less followed up and explained to her I can't
be the one to keep dealing with her when she
treats me like garbage. She basically got angry as hell
(07:35):
at this point and told me I never cared and
I never really tried, or I wouldn't just leave over
something so stupid. She then broke a glass I've been
keeping from growing up that was sitting on our counter
by throwing it on the ground, at which point I
just stopped talking. I spent an hour with her yelling
and begging me back and forth while I grabbed things
(07:57):
I have that are valuable. I'm just going to disappear
for bit at my friends. I need to figure out
what to do about the rent and stuff, since we
have a month until renewal. I know it's not really
all that crazy of an update, and it's just the
way it should have played out, but I wanted to
just get in and out and be done after thinking
about it and being ready to move on from being unhappy.
(08:21):
I appreciate everyone's comments and to the people who reached out.
I'll be honest, I feel like I've wasted a ton
of my life trying to help a broken person, and
it's just equal parts depressing while also a feeling of
being empty and tired. I'm going to try my best
to make things better in my life and only give
to people who appreciate me and the stuff that I do.
(08:44):
Well'll be considering everything you've done, the right thing you've
gotten away from that woman. Wow, she went through all
the emotions. She cried, she was furious, she broke things.
She said it wasn't her fault. Dude, this girl just
keeps bringing out red flax from everywhere again and good
for Euopie. You didn't dudge just a bullet, you dodged
the whole firing squad. And on that note, here's wishing
(09:06):
you the best, take care and thanks for sharing. And
now let's move on to the next post that also
has an update. This post is from the sebredded amiy
a hole, and it's by user Bonus West fifty thirty one.
Am I the a hole for not letting my ex
husband and one of his future step kids come inside.
Our custody arrangement is for each of us to pick
(09:29):
the kids up on our day during our two hour
pickup window. He arrived at the house and I already
had the boys ready. I saw his car pull into
the driveway on my camera, so the boys were already
halfway to the door when my ex knocks. I opened
the door and he is holding the hand of a
four year old. He asks to come in and says
(09:49):
his fiance's son needs to use the bathroom. I told
him I don't want him to come inside because I
don't feel comfortable with him in my house. He has
a history of snooping through my things. He asked me
to take his future step son to the bathroom, and
I said I was uncomfortable with the situation. He said
his step son needed to pee. I suggested the McDonald's
(10:11):
up the road. He said, my bathroom would be way
cleaner than McDonald's. At this point, my eleven year old
started pestering his dad to stop so they could leave.
My ex said, your brother needs to use the bathroom.
My son said, I'll take him. My ex said, no,
your mother would rather he pee his parents. We'll go
and hopefully we'll get to the McDonald's in time. My
(10:34):
ex and the boys left. He messaged me afterwards, saying
I was cruel to a child to punish him and
that's not okay. He said, I made us both look
bad in front of our kids and should be embarrassed
of my actions. I have been fighting with him for
so long. My prospective is screwed up. Was I in
the wrong? No, Obi, You're not the a hole. Your
(10:56):
boundary was reasonable. He has a history of snooping, and
you're under no obligation to let him into your home.
That said, you could have let your son take the
boy to the bathroom. It would have spared the child
discomfort without compromising your boundary. Now your ex weaponized that
moment to make you look cruel. That's manipulative. In my opinion,
(11:17):
I wouldn't even engage with his text. I would just
tell him that all future pickups must be solo for
him or arranged in advance. Then talk to your lawyer
about formalizing that in the custody agreement you weren't punishing
a child. You were just protecting your space, which you
are absolutely entitled to do. And what do you guys think?
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
(11:38):
check out the community comments. Somebody with a broken keyboard says,
not the ahle he wanted to snoop. This was obvious
after he rejected your son's offer to take the kid
to the bathroom. Sneaky, isn't he bad? Mom to Trance
says Okay, So I like to ask my husband these
scenarios and get his two cents. He seems to think,
(12:01):
because you have stated you've had multiple problems with the X,
that this was more about control. He wanted you to do.
What he said was the boy hurting and crying because
he had to go. If not, my spouse thinks it
was a power play by your ex. If it were me,
I would have asked my son to take him and
told the X to go wait in his car. But
(12:22):
if this deucee just liked to jerk you around, then
not the A hole. To dou LaRue says, not the
A hole. Time to do exchanges at Mickey De's, and
Opie responds, that doesn't work because he will be late
and then if I go home, he'll want me to
come back and say I'm denying him his custody time.
(12:43):
Judge said he can have a two hour window for pickup,
but it's not fair to me to have to sit
in a parking lot for two hours. So this is
what we agreed upon with the judge for both of us.
It's not perfect, but everything else we tried was worse.
And his cousin says, this was a power play that backfired.
You have a reasonable boundary enforce it without guilt. In fact,
(13:06):
your son probably respects you more knowing you aren't a pushover.
Oh and screw your manipulative X. Not the A hole.
The community AGRIZZOPI was not the A whole, and that
it was all just a power play by the X.
So now let's move on with the first of two
updates to see what happened next. I did talk to
(13:26):
my lawyer about what happened. He said, we can address
it at the hearing. We already have scheduled about the
movie situation. I thought that was that, but of course
it was my turn to pick up the kids today.
When I arrived at my excess place, he opened the
door very wide and invited me in. I was suspicious
and said no, thank you. He kept insisting I come
(13:48):
in so we can show the kids we are civil,
but I had a bad feeling. I said I would
just wait in the car for the boys to come out.
I got in my car and texted my older son
that I was there. A short while later, he texted
me back, saying his dad said they couldn't leave unless
I got them. I went back to the door and
knocked again again. My ex invited me inside. I said
(14:13):
I didn't want to come in, and that was when
my voice showed up. My exss fiance was right behind them,
telling them to come back upstairs. They ran to me
and we left. I don't know what this game is,
but I'm not falling for it. Whatever it is. Additional
information from Opie's comments. My son said he wanted to
go downstairs when I was at the door, but my
(14:35):
excess fiance said he needed to wait. Then when I
texted him, he went downstairs, but my ex sent him
back up when he hurt me at the door. The
second time, he ran downstairs with my younger son. He
doesn't know why they wanted me to come in, but
it's pretty clear they did. Also to clear up the
(14:55):
movie situation, I had plans to take the boys to
the movies, and he wanted me to not take them
so he could take them during his custody time. I
let them decide, and they wanted to go an opening
day my custody time I took them. He's saying I
shouldn't be able to take them to a movie. He
specifically told me not to take them too. I think
(15:16):
that only applies when it's a movie he doesn't want
them to see at all, not one He is okay
with them seeing, but merely wants to take them himself. Also,
to those wandering, he's not physically violent. He never hit me.
Even when the divorce was at its most worst levels
of contention, he told me I was worthless, that no
man would ever want me. That I was nothing without me,
(15:38):
but he never touched me. So, yes, he has inflicted
a great deal of psychological damage on me, but he
has never touched me in any way without my explicit consent.
And you want to know something funny. Spending time with
him was the best part. It was everything else that sucked.
I had no privacy. He went through my phone and
computer almost every night. If I asked to use my
(16:01):
phone while he was going through it, I was aiding something.
He would dig through my drawers looking for hidden stuff
and mess everything up, and if I complained, he would
do it again because there must have been something there.
If I was complaining, I had to account for every
penny I spent, every moment I wasn't being productive when
we were doing things together. He was so charming, funny
(16:24):
and sweet. He's so handsome and smart and fit. But
it got to the point where I was scared whenever
he wasn't around, because I couldn't trust myself to make
decisions without his approval. I was becoming a shell of myself.
Will it be, First of all, congratulations on being able
to get yourself out of that toxic and abusive relationship.
(16:44):
It's also a good thing. You didn't go into that house.
For all you know, they were trying to entrap you
or something because of your upcoming hearing. And speaking of
the hearing, let's not waste any more time and go
straight to the final update to see how this story ends.
Just concluded our hearing and it went toky. All things considered,
judge said that neither of us need the permission of
(17:05):
the other to take the children to age appropriate experiences
like movies. He told X not to tell me I
can't take the kids to do certain things because he
wants to do them. If he wants to do them,
he can, but so can I, so that was a win.
The judge was annoyed that there was another drop off issue.
He was specially annoyed because the reason he gave my
(17:28):
ex a two hour window for drop offs was because
he said he needed the flexibility since he is a
caretaker of his fiance's children. If he's taking them to
drop offs, why does he need a two hour window.
The judge told them, do not take his fiance's children
to my house and do not ask to come inside
my house. He told me not to ask to go
(17:52):
inside his house either. He also told me not to
rush my ex and to be patient and allow the
children time to come to the door. I wasn't rushing him,
but I didn't say that to the judge. I just agreed.
X also dropped the bombshell that the week of the wedding,
he needs me to pick the kids up from the
resort the wedding is at instead of his house, because
(18:13):
they are going on their honeymoon straight from their resort
and not returning home. I am very uncomfortable with this,
and my lawyer said that it's too much of a
burden to put on me. The judge disagreed with my
lawyer and said we all have to be flexible sometimes,
so I'm stuck doing that. To the best of my understanding,
the wedding will end very late the night before, and
(18:35):
their flight is sometime in the afternoon of the pickup day.
I don't really understand the logistics of the thing. However,
I am less stressed now though, because at today's pickup
my ex just stayed in the car and texted our
oldest that he was here. Progress anyway. I feel like
he intentionally started fights about the previous two issues he
(18:58):
knew he would lose on so the judge would side
with him on the final issue to make things fair.
Maybe I'm just paranoid. In any case, my lawyer said
it's fine to have a ring camera or a dash cam,
but not to record things on my phone unless my
ex is doing something really bad, because our judge really
(19:18):
hates people who record everything and it will prejudice him
against me. So two wins and a loss. I feel
good about that, even though I am incredibly stressed out,
I am worried he's going to try to trick me
into doing or saying something that can be perceived as
hostile and to tell the judge I sabotaged his wedding.
Hopefully they'll be too happy about being married to pull
(19:40):
any stunts. Well, Abe, if I'm with you, two wins
and a loss is something I think you can live with,
considering you just have to go pick them up at
the wedding. Hopefully you don't interact with anybody and just
can move on with your life, and hopefully with the
new rules, you just see progress every time. So on
that note, here's pushing you and your kids the best
to Bee, thanks for sharing an to take care, and
(20:02):
that's it for today's video. Thank you so much for
taking the time to watch it now. If you've gotten
to this point in the video, I assume that you
like these stories that I'm reading out, so here are
a couple more that you might enjoy. And if you
don't have any time to watch another story right now,
save it for later. And also don't forget to hit
that subscribe button.
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