September 23, 2025 • 21 mins
Relationship Stories - After just 3 months of dating, OP’s girlfriend is acting like they’re already married—getting upset when he takes a short work trip without checking in first. Now he’s questioning if she’s too intense, too soon.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre reddit stories.
This post is from the subreddit am I Overreacting, and
it's by user brown Alpha. Am I overreacting for being
frustrated that my girlfriend is acting like my wife just
three months into dating. Got some of my boy's opinions already,
but I'd really appreciate a woman's perspective on this, or
(00:27):
someone who is not in their twenties. I'm twenty four
and my girlfriend, twenty six, female, and I have been
officially dating for about three months. We hooked up at
a mutual friends party and thanks progressed quickly to the
point that she's been living with me for a few weeks.
Now I have my own place. She was over often
and it kind of naturally evolved. Here's the issue. I
(00:49):
feel like she's suddenly trying to control big parts of
my life. For example, she gets weird or passive aggressive
if I go to parties or work events without her,
even if I'm just networking or grabbing a drink with colleagues.
My job recently offered me a three week work trip
to Singapore. I said yes on the spot, great opportunity
for my career, and when I told her. She got
(01:11):
really upset. She said I didn't factor her into the
decision and that I wasn't considering her feelings. She basically
acted like I owed her a discussion before accepting it
and got upset that I didn't. She implied I was
being selfish and not treating the relationships seriously. To me,
I'm just doing what's best for my career, which at
(01:33):
twenty four I feel is a big priority. I'm not
disappearing forever. It's a short term trip. I don't understand
what the big deal is. We ended up arguing over it,
and honestly, I left the conversation feeling like I'm being
punished for having ambition and independence. I care about her,
but this feels like a lot, especially considering we're only
(01:55):
three months in. She's treating this like we're married already,
and I don't know if that's normal or a red flag?
Am I overreacting or is she being controlling here? Well,
I'm not a woman, but I'm also not in my twenties,
so I can give my opinion, I think, and my
opinion is run away because this is not normal and
it's not just a red flag, it's a huge red flag.
(02:16):
You guys, are already living together by her moving into
your place before the three month mark, which is basically
the honeymoon period when you know some things about your
partner but not everything, because let's face it, there isn't
much talking during that period. So yeah, she is being
controlling the fact that she gets weird or passive aggressive
if you go to work events without her, or the
(02:37):
fact that she thinks you owe her a discussion regarding
your career moves. I don't know, maybe it's just me,
although I don't think so, but that's just crazy to me.
I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm being extra cynical today,
but if I were in your shoes, I'd be probably thinking, Yeah,
I don't need this grief right now. So I'm out.
And what do you guys think? Let me know in
the comment section, and now let's check out the community comments.
(03:01):
Acrobatic Lion eighty five ninety two says woman the same
age as her here, you're not overreacting. You've been together
a very short amount of time and it's already very
full on. This is a complete guess, But all of
my friends and peers are either getting engaged or announcing
they're expecting or moving in together. I feel like, now
that we're getting closer to our later twenties, that progression
(03:24):
is happening. If your girlfriend's peers and friends are doing similar,
maybe she's trying to mirror that and act as if
she's there too, without actually considering where you're both at
end of the day, end of the day. If you're
not ready for something as full of as it is,
tell her you're both young and in early stages of
your relationship. It should be fun right now, not stressful.
(03:47):
Also side note, my partner and I have been together
seven years. If he told me he was offered to
go to Singapore for three weeks with work and said
yes on the spot, I'd be supportive. Would I be
upset that we didn't talk about it first, Maybe, But
I wouldn't tell him you are selfish for accepting or
make him feel bad for it. Hell, I'd be jealous.
(04:07):
I couldn't go laughing. Emoji lost my name and password
says I'm a woman in my sixties. You too, have
barely been together a minute. She's taking some big liferties.
Tell her you guys jumped to the gun when you
had her move in so soon if you don't necessarily
want to break up, I'd definitely try to walk back
the living together. Tell her while you can appreciate that
(04:30):
she feels left out of your decisions, they are yours
to take, and if she can't handle that, she is
welcome to leave, because right now, your job and career
is your priority, not your relationship. I would try real
hard to not leave her in your house when you
go to Singapore for three weeks. But do you have
a friend or family member you trust either stay there
(04:53):
or go over daily to check everything out. Try to
get them to stay there. Slug in disguise says, I
don't think think you're over reacting per se. However, she
might have resentment, feeling like she's more serious and you're not.
I think some young women who are mid to late
twenties start thinking about long term relationships and goals, et cetera.
(05:13):
I do think maybe you two just need to have
a conversation about expectations with this new relationship and why
she's feeling the way she is and why you're feeling
the way you are. Communicate, really listen to each other,
and don't try to win. Set up the expectations and
if they don't align, then you both know. And Kimi
(05:34):
Sharma says, Nope, you moved into this too fast. It's
only been three months. She clearly thinks this relationship is
super serious. Have a conversation and let her know where
you stand. Guarantee she is expecting a lot more additional
information from Opie's comments. She technically still lives with her parents,
but she's been spending more and more time at my place.
(05:56):
She tells them she's with a childhood friend when she's
really stay with me. At first, I liked it. I've
lived alone since I was a teenager, so having her
around was fun and convenient. We're both pretty active. We
were hooking up daily, and honestly it felt natural. But
over time it shifted into her controlling my stuff and
my life more than I expected. For me. Moving in
(06:18):
didn't feel super fast. I didn't think much of it
because it was convenient, but I get now that from
the outside it looks different. I also don't see dating
as some kind of trial marriage. I've had girlfriends before,
and I've always been clear with them. My career comes first,
everything else is second. I'm not afraid of commitment, but
I've always been more casual about relationships, and I'm not
(06:40):
used to being tied down. Meanwhile, she's only had one
serious relationship before me, over five years ago, and I'm
basically her second boyfriend, so I get the sense she's
coming into this with way more weight on it than
I am. Plus her parents are well off, so it's
not like she's here for money, But I do think
(07:01):
she might be feeling pressure to catch up since her
friends are getting married. The Singapore trip especially stung because
what I was hoping for was her to be excited
for me. I even thought about inviting her to tag along,
or extending it by a couple of weeks to hit
Thailand afterwards, since I've got a ton of vacation time saved.
In my head, it was like I work during the day,
(07:23):
she hangs out at the hotel, and we go out
together at night. That's what I pictured, but her reaction
made me drop the idea immediately. Instead of being excited,
it turned into me being selfish for saying yes too quickly,
which honestly just killed the whole vibe. Also, day to day,
I still do most of the cooking, cleaning and meal prep.
(07:44):
She helps sometimes but not as much as I do.
That's fine. I've been running my own place for years
and I'm used to it. What's harder is feeling like
suddenly my choices aren't my own for me, career decisions
are mine to take. I don't see the trip or
even post work drinks as something I need to get
permission for. But that's kind of how it started to feel. Well,
(08:07):
the community agrees that Ope is not the ahle, that
maybe they're moving too fast and he should have a
conversation with her, and up gave us a lot more
context as to what their relationship looks like. So now
let's move on to the update to see how this
story ends. Firstly, thank you everyone for giving me some
advice on this one. Unfortunately, or fortunately, things went south
(08:27):
really fast. I'm breaking up with her. I had the
conversation with her about two hours ago, took some work calls,
and went to the gym and wrote this up for
all of you who helped me. The conversation started off
calm enough, but things escalated quickly. She understood the whole
career thing and agreed. I was upfront with her about
saying that's my priority, and she told me she liked
(08:49):
the speed at which we were taking things because she
really loves me and sees a future for us together.
I opened up completely and told her that I wanted
to slow things down and hit re said a little,
to which she said, point blank, are you breaking up
with me? I said no, I'm not. I just want
us to really get to know each other, like we
(09:09):
haven't even been on a vacation together, and thinks she
moved too soon. She ends up starting to accuse me
of wanting to slow things down so she is not
around and I can hook up with other people. She
accused me of secretly meeting up with other girls in
the last few weeks, and even at the party we
met at I was talking to other girls. I explained
(09:31):
that the girls she was referring to were either old
college friends I ran into co workers or girlfriends of
my buddies. Nothing weird or shady, but it didn't matter.
She kept pushing and I could tell something wasn't right.
She ends up saying I was in contact with Elizabeth,
my ex girlfriend from a few years ago, and I
was like what. She confesses when I ask her that
(09:54):
she went through my MacBook that has my I message Instagram,
logged in, et cetera, because she just wanted to make
sure you weren't hiding anything. To be honest, that hit
me like a ton of bricks. I had no idea
she'd been secretly snooping around like that. The reason she
mentioned Elizabeth was because while going through my messages, she
(10:16):
saw a text exchange where I'd wished Elizabeth a happy
birthday with a heart and suggested she should come visit
me as it has been a while since we met.
She accused me of secretly reconnecting with her and hiding this.
I kept trying to explain, but it didn't help. She
was convinced I was lying. I told her to take
(10:37):
my phone and call the number to prove it was
in my ex and sure enough, it was my aunt
who lives in another state. Elizabeth is her name too.
I told her I haven't spoken to my ex in years.
Even after hearing my aunt's voice, with whom I had
a fake hey how's it going conversation, she still wasn't
fully convinced and said I was still hiding other things.
(11:00):
If not this, the whole situation was just crazy. She'd
been questioning my every move, checking up on me constantly,
and it made me realize that this was less about
care and more about control, like many of you were saying.
I told her this was too much and frankly, I
had a work meeting coming up so needed a few
(11:20):
minutes to go back to work. She said sorry and
that she won't do it again, to which I said,
I need space and I can't think right now, so
she needs to leave. She said she won't leave my
condo without me giving her a kiss, so I gave
her a quick kiss and she left, saying she'll call
me later, to which I said, don't. I will tell
you when I'm ready to talk. If I do, get ready.
(11:43):
I need my space, trust and room to grow in
a relationship, and that's not what this was at all.
Thank you to those who gave me advice and the
end me on the side to talk and to give
me some advice. Time to do some career maxing now
and enjoy Singapore. Additional information from Opie's comments. The whole
moving thing wasn't official. It was gradual. At first. She
(12:06):
stayed over once or twice a week, then it turned
into five or six nights on average. She lived way
out in the suburbs with her parents like ninety minutes away,
so with her job being closer to me, it just
kind of happened. I didn't stop it, and that's on me.
Lesson learned. I was dumb, not thinking ahead for context,
She's an only child, her parents are retired and still
(12:28):
in the suburbs. After the breakup, I've already put in
the request with condo management to change the locks. I
own the place, so it's not a big deal, but
figured it was the smart move. Looking back, I'll admit
I let the pace by letting her be over so often,
even if I didn't mean it as move in. Now
next time, I know better. As I said before, things
(12:49):
were gradual, not me inviting someone in, so we just
hook up NonStop. But still I should have slowed it down.
Thanks again to everyone who gave me perspectives outside my circle.
Need that reality check, Willoughby, as you said it, Lesson learned.
Enjoy Singapore and thanks so much for sharing. Take care,
and now let's move on to the next post that
(13:11):
also has an update. This post is from the subrett
that I might be Ahle and it's by user over
supermarket two hundred. Am I be equal for asking my
brother to stop his friend from getting near my wife. Yesterday,
my wife told me that she feels uncomfortable around my
brother's friend and I need to talk to my brother.
(13:31):
I said, I wanted to talk to my brother or
confront his friend, but you said you'll manage and I
shouldn't interfere because I might lash out. She said that
I was right and I should do what I want to,
but I should be polite. I came back from work
just a few hours ago, and the first thing I
did was to call my brother and I asked him
to keep his friend away from my wife. He asked me,
(13:55):
did my friend piss you off? I asked him if
he's dumb, do you not see that your friend is
being flow. He said that his friend is playful, he's extrovert,
while we are introverts and we should just get along
because my wife was also friendly with him. My brother's
friend on every occasion tries to talk to my wife
and he makes stupid jokes to make her laugh. And yesterday,
(14:15):
when we went to my brother's on my niece's birthday,
and his friend grabbed my wife's shoulder and tried to
take a selfie with her. My wife said no, and
she came to me, and not just this, he also
comments on pictures my wife uploads. I explained everything to
my brother, but he said his friend is just playful
and fun to be around. I said he should ask
(14:36):
his friend to stay away from my wife and if
he doesn't, then we won't attend any family celebration if
his friend is invited. He said, we are overreacting and
my wife should have shut him down early on if
she had a problem with him. Are we a holes here? No, Opie,
of course you're not the a hole, and no, your
brother's an idiot. You don't get just one chance to
(14:57):
shut somebody down. You shut them down when they made
you uncomfortable. Now I'm getting the impression from what your
wife has told you that she's non confrontational, so maybe
she's having a little trouble shutting him down. My only
question here is why are you talking to your brother?
If anything, your brother should just get an FYI after
you've called the friend and shut him down, because if
(15:17):
his friend makes your wife uncomfortable, your brother's not even
in the equation. You just talk to the guy and
tell him cut it out. And then, like I said,
you tell your brother, Heyyi, I shut your friend down
and that's it. Problem solved. What do you guys think?
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
check out the community comments. Gray Blue Girl says, your
brother is not listening. Go directly to the horse's ass, Hey,
(15:40):
stop talking to my wife. Don't touch her. She doesn't
like it. I don't like it. Be friendly and playful
somewhere else. Not the Ehle and Opie response. I thought
that my brother would talk to his friend and tell
him to stay away from his sister in law, but
he would rather blame us and say that I'm overreacting
and my wife shouldn't have become friendly with his friend
and should have shut him down like we ever wanted
(16:02):
to get close to his friend. If he doesn't listen
to me and asks his friend to stay away from
my wife, then we might as well just stay away
from them all. Benzil mcprush says, not the ahle, go
talk to the guy straight up and introduce him to
the concept of consent and board. BKK says, what the
hell is all this asking bs about? You tell the
(16:26):
ahle in question to f off and never darken your
door or contact your wife. Ever, again, this isn't some
case of toxic masculinity or such. Bs. This a hole,
and I'll read past your utterly passive description, is hitting
on your wife, hitting on her physically. She has told
you that she doesn't want this guy around her, Yet
you're asking your brother to keep this ahole away from
(16:47):
your wife. Your brother actually defended this guy's actions. Why
because you are coming across as completely passive hell week
about all of this. You won't even call out this
ahole's behavior for what it is, so why would anyone
else bother to do so, let alone protect your wife.
I'm not suggesting that you meet this a hole at
high noon on Main Street, but at least stand up
(17:09):
for yourself and your wife. Weakness is attractive to scumbags,
and this a hole sees it clearly. Even if your
brother raises this with him, all that's going to happen
is laughter. Good luck. The community agrees that OPI is
not the a hole and that Opie needs to talk
to said friend. So now let's move on to the
update to see how this story ends. My brother told
(17:31):
me that his friend was just being playful with my wife,
and my wife shouldn't have encouraged his friend and shut
him down when his friend was harassing her. I decided
to talk to his best friend directly. I called him
introduce myself, and I said that we don't like him
getting close with my wife and it's best that he
stays away from her on occasions we were at the
same place. He said, he is sorry that he didn't
(17:53):
mean to hurt me, and my wife never had a
problem with it. I said, but you did, and I
am now speaking for my wife and you should stay
away from us. He followed up with yes, he will.
My brother, my crappy ass brother, his friend told him,
and my crappy brother said that I shouldn't have talked
to his friend and he did nothing wrong. He only
(18:14):
tried to talk to my wife, make her laugh and
touched her shoulder for a selfie. I told my brother
that it's vile and we don't want his best friend
near us. We argued, and I ended up telling him
that if his friend is invited on our family gatherings
or occasions, then we will leave. This whole thing became
a family drama, and in the end, my parents and
(18:35):
my other siblings told my brother that his friend isn't invited,
and my brother is pissed. He says it's all my
fault for making a huge deal about a selfie and
small jokes. We are both happy with my family's decision,
and my wife said, I have good siblings minus my brother.
We were planning on skipping on every occasion where his
friend was invited anyway, But I don't get my brother's reaction.
(18:56):
His friend is harassing his sister in law and he
is fine by It. Goes without a doubt that my
brother's friend crossed the line. He doesn't even need to
get a no from my wife. It's common sense. And
my brother, he's a different breed. I even started doubting
a bit whether he's my brother or not. Maybe he
was switched or something. As I said, my family will
(19:18):
side with us. We are family minus my brother to me,
and we will take our family's side instead of the
harasser and his accomplice. My brother, my mom, my sisters,
and my sister in law are all siding with my wife.
Will it be good for you? You call the idiot
and shut him down, and now your brother's also out.
Hopefully that'll be the end of it. So here's wishing
(19:39):
you and your wife the best. Ope, thanks so much
for sharing and to take care. And now let's finish
this video with a quick mood booster post. This post
is from the subreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user
Brooks Sophia. Be available during lunch, sure thing. My manager
sent a passive aggressive message to the whole team, clearly
(19:59):
a at me. Lunch breaks are unpaid, but everyone is
expected to be available during core hours, including lunch. I
used to take a quick walk or step out to
grab coffee, never missed meetings, never late. But fine, if
she wants me available, I'll play along. I started eating
lunch at my desk every day, no headphones, not working,
(20:21):
just sitting. I ignored emails and messages, and when people
came over, I'd smile and say I'm on my unpaid work,
but I'll jump on it at one One day, she
sent a message at twelve ten asking for a report
as soon as possible. I didn't reply until one someone
else had scrambled to do it by then. She later
(20:42):
asked why I didn't respond. I said I was available,
just not working as instructed. She never brought up lunch
breaks again. Will Ope, she's got nothing to be angry about.
You did as instructed. Hopefully you got your lunch breaks back.
Thanks for sharing, Opie, and that's it for today's video.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch
(21:03):
it now. If you've gotten to this point in the video,
I assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy.
And if you don't have any time to watch another
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Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre reddit stories.
This post is from the subreddit am I Overreacting, and
it's by user brown Alpha. Am I overreacting for being
frustrated that my girlfriend is acting like my wife just
three months into dating. Got some of my boy's opinions already,
but I'd really appreciate a woman's perspective on this, or
(00:27):
someone who is not in their twenties. I'm twenty four
and my girlfriend, twenty six, female, and I have been
officially dating for about three months. We hooked up at
a mutual friends party and thanks progressed quickly to the
point that she's been living with me for a few weeks.
Now I have my own place. She was over often
and it kind of naturally evolved. Here's the issue. I
(00:49):
feel like she's suddenly trying to control big parts of
my life. For example, she gets weird or passive aggressive
if I go to parties or work events without her,
even if I'm just networking or grabbing a drink with colleagues.
My job recently offered me a three week work trip
to Singapore. I said yes on the spot, great opportunity
for my career, and when I told her. She got
(01:11):
really upset. She said I didn't factor her into the
decision and that I wasn't considering her feelings. She basically
acted like I owed her a discussion before accepting it
and got upset that I didn't. She implied I was
being selfish and not treating the relationships seriously. To me,
I'm just doing what's best for my career, which at
(01:33):
twenty four I feel is a big priority. I'm not
disappearing forever. It's a short term trip. I don't understand
what the big deal is. We ended up arguing over it,
and honestly, I left the conversation feeling like I'm being
punished for having ambition and independence. I care about her,
but this feels like a lot, especially considering we're only
(01:55):
three months in. She's treating this like we're married already,
and I don't know if that's normal or a red flag?
Am I overreacting or is she being controlling here? Well,
I'm not a woman, but I'm also not in my twenties,
so I can give my opinion, I think, and my
opinion is run away because this is not normal and
it's not just a red flag, it's a huge red flag.
(02:16):
You guys, are already living together by her moving into
your place before the three month mark, which is basically
the honeymoon period when you know some things about your
partner but not everything, because let's face it, there isn't
much talking during that period. So yeah, she is being
controlling the fact that she gets weird or passive aggressive
if you go to work events without her, or the
(02:37):
fact that she thinks you owe her a discussion regarding
your career moves. I don't know, maybe it's just me,
although I don't think so, but that's just crazy to me.
I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm being extra cynical today,
but if I were in your shoes, I'd be probably thinking, Yeah,
I don't need this grief right now. So I'm out.
And what do you guys think? Let me know in
the comment section, and now let's check out the community comments.
(03:01):
Acrobatic Lion eighty five ninety two says woman the same
age as her here, you're not overreacting. You've been together
a very short amount of time and it's already very
full on. This is a complete guess, But all of
my friends and peers are either getting engaged or announcing
they're expecting or moving in together. I feel like, now
that we're getting closer to our later twenties, that progression
(03:24):
is happening. If your girlfriend's peers and friends are doing similar,
maybe she's trying to mirror that and act as if
she's there too, without actually considering where you're both at
end of the day, end of the day. If you're
not ready for something as full of as it is,
tell her you're both young and in early stages of
your relationship. It should be fun right now, not stressful.
(03:47):
Also side note, my partner and I have been together
seven years. If he told me he was offered to
go to Singapore for three weeks with work and said
yes on the spot, I'd be supportive. Would I be
upset that we didn't talk about it first, Maybe, But
I wouldn't tell him you are selfish for accepting or
make him feel bad for it. Hell, I'd be jealous.
(04:07):
I couldn't go laughing. Emoji lost my name and password
says I'm a woman in my sixties. You too, have
barely been together a minute. She's taking some big liferties.
Tell her you guys jumped to the gun when you
had her move in so soon if you don't necessarily
want to break up, I'd definitely try to walk back
the living together. Tell her while you can appreciate that
(04:30):
she feels left out of your decisions, they are yours
to take, and if she can't handle that, she is
welcome to leave, because right now, your job and career
is your priority, not your relationship. I would try real
hard to not leave her in your house when you
go to Singapore for three weeks. But do you have
a friend or family member you trust either stay there
(04:53):
or go over daily to check everything out. Try to
get them to stay there. Slug in disguise says, I
don't think think you're over reacting per se. However, she
might have resentment, feeling like she's more serious and you're not.
I think some young women who are mid to late
twenties start thinking about long term relationships and goals, et cetera.
(05:13):
I do think maybe you two just need to have
a conversation about expectations with this new relationship and why
she's feeling the way she is and why you're feeling
the way you are. Communicate, really listen to each other,
and don't try to win. Set up the expectations and
if they don't align, then you both know. And Kimi
(05:34):
Sharma says, Nope, you moved into this too fast. It's
only been three months. She clearly thinks this relationship is
super serious. Have a conversation and let her know where
you stand. Guarantee she is expecting a lot more additional
information from Opie's comments. She technically still lives with her parents,
but she's been spending more and more time at my place.
(05:56):
She tells them she's with a childhood friend when she's
really stay with me. At first, I liked it. I've
lived alone since I was a teenager, so having her
around was fun and convenient. We're both pretty active. We
were hooking up daily, and honestly it felt natural. But
over time it shifted into her controlling my stuff and
my life more than I expected. For me. Moving in
(06:18):
didn't feel super fast. I didn't think much of it
because it was convenient, but I get now that from
the outside it looks different. I also don't see dating
as some kind of trial marriage. I've had girlfriends before,
and I've always been clear with them. My career comes first,
everything else is second. I'm not afraid of commitment, but
I've always been more casual about relationships, and I'm not
(06:40):
used to being tied down. Meanwhile, she's only had one
serious relationship before me, over five years ago, and I'm
basically her second boyfriend, so I get the sense she's
coming into this with way more weight on it than
I am. Plus her parents are well off, so it's
not like she's here for money, But I do think
(07:01):
she might be feeling pressure to catch up since her
friends are getting married. The Singapore trip especially stung because
what I was hoping for was her to be excited
for me. I even thought about inviting her to tag along,
or extending it by a couple of weeks to hit
Thailand afterwards, since I've got a ton of vacation time saved.
In my head, it was like I work during the day,
(07:23):
she hangs out at the hotel, and we go out
together at night. That's what I pictured, but her reaction
made me drop the idea immediately. Instead of being excited,
it turned into me being selfish for saying yes too quickly,
which honestly just killed the whole vibe. Also, day to day,
I still do most of the cooking, cleaning and meal prep.
(07:44):
She helps sometimes but not as much as I do.
That's fine. I've been running my own place for years
and I'm used to it. What's harder is feeling like
suddenly my choices aren't my own for me, career decisions
are mine to take. I don't see the trip or
even post work drinks as something I need to get
permission for. But that's kind of how it started to feel. Well,
(08:07):
the community agrees that Ope is not the ahle, that
maybe they're moving too fast and he should have a
conversation with her, and up gave us a lot more
context as to what their relationship looks like. So now
let's move on to the update to see how this
story ends. Firstly, thank you everyone for giving me some
advice on this one. Unfortunately, or fortunately, things went south
(08:27):
really fast. I'm breaking up with her. I had the
conversation with her about two hours ago, took some work calls,
and went to the gym and wrote this up for
all of you who helped me. The conversation started off
calm enough, but things escalated quickly. She understood the whole
career thing and agreed. I was upfront with her about
saying that's my priority, and she told me she liked
(08:49):
the speed at which we were taking things because she
really loves me and sees a future for us together.
I opened up completely and told her that I wanted
to slow things down and hit re said a little,
to which she said, point blank, are you breaking up
with me? I said no, I'm not. I just want
us to really get to know each other, like we
(09:09):
haven't even been on a vacation together, and thinks she
moved too soon. She ends up starting to accuse me
of wanting to slow things down so she is not
around and I can hook up with other people. She
accused me of secretly meeting up with other girls in
the last few weeks, and even at the party we
met at I was talking to other girls. I explained
(09:31):
that the girls she was referring to were either old
college friends I ran into co workers or girlfriends of
my buddies. Nothing weird or shady, but it didn't matter.
She kept pushing and I could tell something wasn't right.
She ends up saying I was in contact with Elizabeth,
my ex girlfriend from a few years ago, and I
was like what. She confesses when I ask her that
(09:54):
she went through my MacBook that has my I message Instagram,
logged in, et cetera, because she just wanted to make
sure you weren't hiding anything. To be honest, that hit
me like a ton of bricks. I had no idea
she'd been secretly snooping around like that. The reason she
mentioned Elizabeth was because while going through my messages, she
(10:16):
saw a text exchange where I'd wished Elizabeth a happy
birthday with a heart and suggested she should come visit
me as it has been a while since we met.
She accused me of secretly reconnecting with her and hiding this.
I kept trying to explain, but it didn't help. She
was convinced I was lying. I told her to take
(10:37):
my phone and call the number to prove it was
in my ex and sure enough, it was my aunt
who lives in another state. Elizabeth is her name too.
I told her I haven't spoken to my ex in years.
Even after hearing my aunt's voice, with whom I had
a fake hey how's it going conversation, she still wasn't
fully convinced and said I was still hiding other things.
(11:00):
If not this, the whole situation was just crazy. She'd
been questioning my every move, checking up on me constantly,
and it made me realize that this was less about
care and more about control, like many of you were saying.
I told her this was too much and frankly, I
had a work meeting coming up so needed a few
(11:20):
minutes to go back to work. She said sorry and
that she won't do it again, to which I said,
I need space and I can't think right now, so
she needs to leave. She said she won't leave my
condo without me giving her a kiss, so I gave
her a quick kiss and she left, saying she'll call
me later, to which I said, don't. I will tell
you when I'm ready to talk. If I do, get ready.
(11:43):
I need my space, trust and room to grow in
a relationship, and that's not what this was at all.
Thank you to those who gave me advice and the
end me on the side to talk and to give
me some advice. Time to do some career maxing now
and enjoy Singapore. Additional information from Opie's comments. The whole
moving thing wasn't official. It was gradual. At first. She
(12:06):
stayed over once or twice a week, then it turned
into five or six nights on average. She lived way
out in the suburbs with her parents like ninety minutes away,
so with her job being closer to me, it just
kind of happened. I didn't stop it, and that's on me.
Lesson learned. I was dumb, not thinking ahead for context,
She's an only child, her parents are retired and still
(12:28):
in the suburbs. After the breakup, I've already put in
the request with condo management to change the locks. I
own the place, so it's not a big deal, but
figured it was the smart move. Looking back, I'll admit
I let the pace by letting her be over so often,
even if I didn't mean it as move in. Now
next time, I know better. As I said before, things
(12:49):
were gradual, not me inviting someone in, so we just
hook up NonStop. But still I should have slowed it down.
Thanks again to everyone who gave me perspectives outside my circle.
Need that reality check, Willoughby, as you said it, Lesson learned.
Enjoy Singapore and thanks so much for sharing. Take care,
and now let's move on to the next post that
(13:11):
also has an update. This post is from the subrett
that I might be Ahle and it's by user over
supermarket two hundred. Am I be equal for asking my
brother to stop his friend from getting near my wife. Yesterday,
my wife told me that she feels uncomfortable around my
brother's friend and I need to talk to my brother.
(13:31):
I said, I wanted to talk to my brother or
confront his friend, but you said you'll manage and I
shouldn't interfere because I might lash out. She said that
I was right and I should do what I want to,
but I should be polite. I came back from work
just a few hours ago, and the first thing I
did was to call my brother and I asked him
to keep his friend away from my wife. He asked me,
(13:55):
did my friend piss you off? I asked him if
he's dumb, do you not see that your friend is
being flow. He said that his friend is playful, he's extrovert,
while we are introverts and we should just get along
because my wife was also friendly with him. My brother's
friend on every occasion tries to talk to my wife
and he makes stupid jokes to make her laugh. And yesterday,
(14:15):
when we went to my brother's on my niece's birthday,
and his friend grabbed my wife's shoulder and tried to
take a selfie with her. My wife said no, and
she came to me, and not just this, he also
comments on pictures my wife uploads. I explained everything to
my brother, but he said his friend is just playful
and fun to be around. I said he should ask
(14:36):
his friend to stay away from my wife and if
he doesn't, then we won't attend any family celebration if
his friend is invited. He said, we are overreacting and
my wife should have shut him down early on if
she had a problem with him. Are we a holes here? No, Opie,
of course you're not the a hole, and no, your
brother's an idiot. You don't get just one chance to
(14:57):
shut somebody down. You shut them down when they made
you uncomfortable. Now I'm getting the impression from what your
wife has told you that she's non confrontational, so maybe
she's having a little trouble shutting him down. My only
question here is why are you talking to your brother?
If anything, your brother should just get an FYI after
you've called the friend and shut him down, because if
(15:17):
his friend makes your wife uncomfortable, your brother's not even
in the equation. You just talk to the guy and
tell him cut it out. And then, like I said,
you tell your brother, Heyyi, I shut your friend down
and that's it. Problem solved. What do you guys think?
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
check out the community comments. Gray Blue Girl says, your
brother is not listening. Go directly to the horse's ass, Hey,
(15:40):
stop talking to my wife. Don't touch her. She doesn't
like it. I don't like it. Be friendly and playful
somewhere else. Not the Ehle and Opie response. I thought
that my brother would talk to his friend and tell
him to stay away from his sister in law, but
he would rather blame us and say that I'm overreacting
and my wife shouldn't have become friendly with his friend
and should have shut him down like we ever wanted
(16:02):
to get close to his friend. If he doesn't listen
to me and asks his friend to stay away from
my wife, then we might as well just stay away
from them all. Benzil mcprush says, not the ahle, go
talk to the guy straight up and introduce him to
the concept of consent and board. BKK says, what the
hell is all this asking bs about? You tell the
(16:26):
ahle in question to f off and never darken your
door or contact your wife. Ever, again, this isn't some
case of toxic masculinity or such. Bs. This a hole,
and I'll read past your utterly passive description, is hitting
on your wife, hitting on her physically. She has told
you that she doesn't want this guy around her, Yet
you're asking your brother to keep this ahole away from
(16:47):
your wife. Your brother actually defended this guy's actions. Why
because you are coming across as completely passive hell week
about all of this. You won't even call out this
ahole's behavior for what it is, so why would anyone
else bother to do so, let alone protect your wife.
I'm not suggesting that you meet this a hole at
high noon on Main Street, but at least stand up
(17:09):
for yourself and your wife. Weakness is attractive to scumbags,
and this a hole sees it clearly. Even if your
brother raises this with him, all that's going to happen
is laughter. Good luck. The community agrees that OPI is
not the a hole and that Opie needs to talk
to said friend. So now let's move on to the
update to see how this story ends. My brother told
(17:31):
me that his friend was just being playful with my wife,
and my wife shouldn't have encouraged his friend and shut
him down when his friend was harassing her. I decided
to talk to his best friend directly. I called him
introduce myself, and I said that we don't like him
getting close with my wife and it's best that he
stays away from her on occasions we were at the
same place. He said, he is sorry that he didn't
(17:53):
mean to hurt me, and my wife never had a
problem with it. I said, but you did, and I
am now speaking for my wife and you should stay
away from us. He followed up with yes, he will.
My brother, my crappy ass brother, his friend told him,
and my crappy brother said that I shouldn't have talked
to his friend and he did nothing wrong. He only
(18:14):
tried to talk to my wife, make her laugh and
touched her shoulder for a selfie. I told my brother
that it's vile and we don't want his best friend
near us. We argued, and I ended up telling him
that if his friend is invited on our family gatherings
or occasions, then we will leave. This whole thing became
a family drama, and in the end, my parents and
(18:35):
my other siblings told my brother that his friend isn't invited,
and my brother is pissed. He says it's all my
fault for making a huge deal about a selfie and
small jokes. We are both happy with my family's decision,
and my wife said, I have good siblings minus my brother.
We were planning on skipping on every occasion where his
friend was invited anyway, But I don't get my brother's reaction.
(18:56):
His friend is harassing his sister in law and he
is fine by It. Goes without a doubt that my
brother's friend crossed the line. He doesn't even need to
get a no from my wife. It's common sense. And
my brother, he's a different breed. I even started doubting
a bit whether he's my brother or not. Maybe he
was switched or something. As I said, my family will
(19:18):
side with us. We are family minus my brother to me,
and we will take our family's side instead of the
harasser and his accomplice. My brother, my mom, my sisters,
and my sister in law are all siding with my wife.
Will it be good for you? You call the idiot
and shut him down, and now your brother's also out.
Hopefully that'll be the end of it. So here's wishing
(19:39):
you and your wife the best. Ope, thanks so much
for sharing and to take care. And now let's finish
this video with a quick mood booster post. This post
is from the subreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user
Brooks Sophia. Be available during lunch, sure thing. My manager
sent a passive aggressive message to the whole team, clearly
(19:59):
a at me. Lunch breaks are unpaid, but everyone is
expected to be available during core hours, including lunch. I
used to take a quick walk or step out to
grab coffee, never missed meetings, never late. But fine, if
she wants me available, I'll play along. I started eating
lunch at my desk every day, no headphones, not working,
(20:21):
just sitting. I ignored emails and messages, and when people
came over, I'd smile and say I'm on my unpaid work,
but I'll jump on it at one One day, she
sent a message at twelve ten asking for a report
as soon as possible. I didn't reply until one someone
else had scrambled to do it by then. She later
(20:42):
asked why I didn't respond. I said I was available,
just not working as instructed. She never brought up lunch
breaks again. Will Ope, she's got nothing to be angry about.
You did as instructed. Hopefully you got your lunch breaks back.
Thanks for sharing, Opie, and that's it for today's video.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch
(21:03):
it now. If you've gotten to this point in the video,
I assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy.
And if you don't have any time to watch another
story right now, save it for later. And also don't
forget to hit that subscribe button.
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