December 17, 2025 • 22 mins
Relationship Stories - OP became the family outcast after her parents passed away. Years of strained relationships climaxed when her entire family secretly attended her brother’s wedding—without telling her—leading OP to finally cut ties for good.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subreddeda My the Akhole, and
it's by U Sir MJ. Paul. Nineteen brother didn't invite
me to his wedding. Family kept it a secret. I
cut them off. Am I the Akhole. I have a
large family that started falling apart when my parents passed
(00:24):
away eleven years ago. I was nineteen and my siblings
were all much older. Since then, my siblings and I
have had rocky or strained relationships due to various reasons,
and I slowly became the outcast of the family. With
my brother specially, things changed when he started dating his
now wife and they had a son. He was the
first baby in our family and I love babies, so
(00:47):
I wanted to be there to help. Things quickly went
downhill when they would ask me to babysit for a
couple of hours that turned into twelve plus hours, or
a day would turn into a weekend. This happened several times,
so I talked to my brother about how I felt
about them doing this and how it felt like they
were taking advantage. This turned into them telling our family
(01:10):
that I thought that the baby was a problem and
I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I
talked to the rest of my siblings to clear this up,
but this changed my relationship with my brother and his family.
There were also other situations after this that caused even
more of a rift between my brother and I. Since then,
I only interacted with my brother and his family at
(01:32):
gatherings from my end. I forgave and still bought them
gifts for their birthdays, Christmas, et cetera. But I never
received anything from him, not a text, a phone call, anything.
Fast forward to three years later, Thanksgiving Day. My whole
family was there, including my brother and his family. Everything
seemed normal. I will mention that my relationships with my
(01:55):
other siblings hadn't proved a lot over the years and
were better. We all have had small conversation about the
food and discussed secret Santa participation for Christmas. That was Thursday.
On Saturday, I see pictures on social media of what
appears to be my family at a wedding and my
brother appears to be the groom. Confused, I take a
(02:17):
screenshot and send it to my sisters to ask if
our brother had a wedding. They confirm my brother and
I don't have a good relationship, but I didn't think
it was so bad that he wouldn't invite me to
his wedding, and my relationship with my other siblings have
gotten better, so I thought that someone would have mentioned
that our brother was getting married, especially when we were
(02:39):
all together just a couple of days prior. Apparently they
were all in on this big secret for months without me,
and that hurt. It made me feel like even more
of an outcast in my own family than ever before.
This isn't the first time that my family has done
something like this. It's been a slew of issues and
situations over the past decade, and this was the cherry
(03:02):
on top for me. My sisters have reached out to
try to explain and apologize. I haven't heard anything from
my brothers. So am I the ahle for finally cutting
off my siblings? No, OPI, in my opinion, you are
far from being the ahole. First of all, your brothers
are your siblings, all of them. They're all a holes,
and your sisters apologizing now too little, too late. I
(03:23):
seriously don't understand why your brother would hate you this much.
All you did was tell him that you just wanted
to keep being a part of your nephew's life without
being taken advantage of. And he turned it into a
whole issue, got your family involved, and apparently it was
a mess. And now you thought you were rebuilding these
relationships and they all decided to keep it a secret
(03:44):
and lie to you. Your brother's a coward. He didn't
even have the spine to stand in front of you
and tell you I don't want you at my wedding.
That would have been harsh, but at least I could
respect that. But this crap, No, they all suck in
my opinion, And at this point, Ope, it's up to you.
Do you want to have a relationship with people that
treat you this way just because you're blood related? If
(04:05):
I were you, I'd block them and build my own family.
I'm sure you've got lots of friends and people that
love you. Your siblings are not part of that group,
or at least it doesn't seem like it. And what
do you guys think? Let me know in the comments section,
and now let's check out the community comments. Nurse Pinwin
thirty six says, not the a hole you put your
(04:25):
foot down at being his unpaid nanny, so he tried
to ruin your relationship with the rest of the family.
You forgive and still make an effort and send gifts
while he ignores you. Then the whole family hides his
wedding from you, knowing you will find out later in
social media and feel betrayed. Screw all of them, that
pie girly says, not the a whole. I'm so, so
(04:48):
very sorry this happened to you, Opie. Please take this
as a lesson. Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt. One.
You forgave your brother, but that doesn't mean he, in
his ridiculous mind, forgave you for your alleged crime of
putting your foot down over the reasonable request to not
upload their kid onto you for longer than agreed upon times. Yes,
(05:08):
you are family, but you also have a life and
are not a nanny being paid over time. They took
advantage and made you the villain for setting good and
reasonable boundaries. They then tried to damage your reputation and
relationship with the rest of your family by portraying you
as this villain. Two, they never reciprocated your olive branches
(05:31):
or showed any attempts to be cordial not besties, but
just cordial by getting you gifts, even though you got
them gifts. This should have already been assigned to you,
that there was no civility or relationship you were going
to have with them, and you should have stopped. They
showed you who they are then, and they have done
so for a final time in a massive way. Please
believe them this time and stop trying three. As for
(05:55):
the rest of your family, what they did was a
huge betrayal. Did they honestly think you weren't going to
find out about it? To sit there at Thanksgiving and
let you be the fool who was none the wiser
that there was something they all know that you didn't
that they just weren't talking about, is so cruel. Weddings
are chaotic and these folks deserve oscars for the performances
(06:16):
they put on to keep you in the dark for
months and specially that night so close to the wedding.
This is messed up the deception. Wow, sure your sisters apologized,
but again they and the rest of the family have
shown you who they are. So Opie, please stop believing them,
cut them off and go no contact with the guilt
(06:36):
free conscience, not the Ahle. Delete them from social media.
They don't get to monitor you and have access to
you to see what you were up to when they
lied to you for months and about a pretty major event.
They don't get access to know what you were up
to in your life anymore. Block them on social media.
These people don't get birthday messages, happy holidays, New Year's nada,
(06:59):
silence on your end. Stop being nice and trying. Just stop.
You'll only make a fool of yourself and end up hurt.
Cut them off and move on with your life. If
you can find a good therapist and do individual counseling. Remember,
finding a good therapist is like dating. Just because one
doesn't work well with you doesn't mean all therapyist crap.
(07:19):
Just keep looking until you find the right match. It'll
help you process and heal from this betrayal. Go live
your life with people who would not deceive you in
this way, rooting for you, and Baudeka says, don't even
argue about it. Don't make a big statement of going
no contact, as it will only escalate things further and
make you deal with more contact. Just drop the rope. Christmas,
(07:42):
if you have a chosen family to celebrate with do that,
or book a small getaway, or stay home and enjoy
a few days of self care. If they're siblings, you
don't want to stay in touch with. Do that, skip
the hallmark family meetings because they're fake, and don't hold
back on making that known it. Invite for a family celebration,
No thanks, that's all right, I'd rather have a nice
(08:04):
lunch just the two of us sometime next week. If asked,
you don't really feel like family events are for you.
Keep in mind that it's probably your brother only that
made you an outcast, and the other siblings are caught
up in his shenanigans. They were wrong to treat it
like a family secret, but giving your brother the satisfaction
of successfully cutting you out of the family seems wrong too.
(08:27):
Pick and choose who you still want to have around,
and don't get pulled into his drama anymore. Additional information
from OPI's comments. If my parents were still alive, I
truly don't believe this would have happened. They would have
shut something like this down immediately. Since they passed, a
lot of unhealthy dynamics have gone unchecked, and I think
(08:48):
this situation is a direct result of that. What hurt
the most wasn't just not being invited. It was realizing
this wasn't an accident or oversight. This was months of
people actively keeping something from me. Being excluded is one thing,
but being light to or deliberately kept in the dark
by people you just spent time with is another. Finding
(09:12):
out on social media made it worse. There was no
private heads up, no warning, nothing, just stumbling across photos
online and realizing everyone else knew. I still don't even
know how big the wedding was or who was there,
which honestly makes it harder not to feel like I
was intentionally singled out. That's why this hit so hard.
(09:34):
It wasn't just about a wedding. It was about realizing
where I actually stand in my own family. The community
agriz Op is not the a hole and it's split
between You should cut them all off, or you know,
just choose who you want to keep in your life.
So now let's move on to the update to see
how this story ends. Hi all, thanks for all the
(09:55):
advice and thoughts. You're all right, I should have stopped
this a long time ago. Being Latina, family is extremely
important in our culture, and if you try to distance
yourself from their toxicity. You're made to feel guilty like
the ahole, not just in this situation, but so many
others that have happened throughout the years. And for those wondering,
(10:15):
our ages range twenty five years from the oldest sibling
to the youngest. I'm the second youngest, and our youngest sibling,
sister Lisa, was also not invited or told about this. Basically,
all of our issues with our older siblings are related
to the age gaps and different ways of thinking, views
and opinions. I do believe that the rest of my
(10:38):
siblings were told not to mention anything so agree that
they were in a tough position. But like I said,
we were all in a good place lately, So all
of this just caught me completely by surprise. To be honest,
if he or any of my siblings would have given
me a head sub that he was having a wedding
just so I wouldn't be blindsided, I'd still appreciate honesty. Sure,
(11:01):
I'd still be hurt, but it's his day and it's
his choice, which I would have respected because I'm not
one for drama or attention. I was mostly hurt about
finding out afterwards on social media and knowing they were
all in on it, especially after just spending time together
a couple of days before and thinking everything was fine.
(11:23):
As of today, almost three weeks later, I've heard nothing
from any of my brothers. I did respond to my
sisters and expressed my feelings. Sister Anna's responds, I'm sorry
you feel that way. I didn't respond to her after
that because I knew I wouldn't get anywhere. Sister Barb's
response actually acknowledged that it was wrong and apologized for
(11:44):
her part in it. I accepted her apology, but I
feel like I can't trust her after everything that's happened.
So I've decided I'm going no contact with all of them.
I've blocked them all on social media and their phone numbers.
I also can so the Secret Santa event in the
app that we use. Eventually, I may go low contact
(12:05):
with Sister Barb, but need some time and space to
be able to make a solid decision. My family has
been the biggest source of my stress and anxiety over
the years. I have been to therapy on off for
the past several years dealing with my issues and definitely
recommend to anyone going through something similar. An appointment to
talk through this might be a great Christmas gift to
(12:28):
myself this year. At this point, I feel like I've
been through the five stages of grief dealing with this.
I wasn't just grieving the loss of my parents, but
also grieving the family that we once were when our
parents were here, because they were the glue that held
us together. Ultimately, this is me finally accepting what we've become.
(12:48):
Besides my family, the past couple of years have been
the happiest I've ever been. My husband's family accepted me
as one of their own, and I feel like they
truly care about my well being, so I'm focused my
time and energy on them, Sister Lisa, and the family
that I'm creating with my husband. Hopefully it'll be better
than the one I was born into. Additional information from
(13:10):
Opie's comments, my youngest sister and I were both excluded,
and at this point it really feels like it's been
the two of us against the world for a long time.
She's been my constant and that relationship is something I'm
protecting at all costs. I don't confront anyone aggressively or
demand explanations because I know how that would have gone.
It would have turned into drama, defensiveness, and somehow me
(13:33):
being blamed for reacting instead of them being held accountable
for what they did. I choose not to give certain
people that satisfaction. As I said in the update, being Latina,
there's a huge cultural pressure to tolerate bad behavior because family,
you're expected to forgive endlessly, stay quiet and accept disrespect
(13:53):
to keep the peace. I've done that for years, and
it's taken a serious toll on my mental health. This
isn't an impulsive decision. It was the result of years
of stress, anxiety, and feeling like I had to shrink
myself to stay included. Going no contact isn't about punishment.
It's about finally choosing peace. I'm focusing on the family
(14:14):
that shows up for me now, including my husband's family
and the life we're building together. Letting go of what
my family used to be is painful, but accepting what
it's become feels necessary. Opie, that is the best decision
that you're making. You're just focusing on the family that
shows up for you, Like you said, your husband's family,
your sister Lisa, and the family that you're building with
(14:37):
your husband and the others. Yeah whatever, So here's wishing
you the best, Opie. Thanks so much for sharing and
take care and now let's move on to the next
post that also has an update. This post is from
the subreddit Relationship Advice and it's by user neat establishment
sixty two. After four and a half years together, my
boyfriend twenty four told me twenty three femal, I need
(15:01):
to earn an engagement ring. Seeking outside perspectives, what are
reasonable next steps for me? Last night, my boyfriend twenty
four male and I, twenty three female, were talking about
our future. We've been together for four and a half years.
I'm not asking to get engaged right now, but I
wanted to talk about where things are headed. We got
(15:21):
onto the topic of engagement rings. I mentioned that I
think a ring should reflect serious intention and commitment, and
that traditionally people talk about rings being something you say
for I want to be clear that I'm not expecting
him to go broke, just that it should be something
meaningful and planned for. He then told me that I
would need to earn an engagement ring. I honestly thought
(15:43):
he was joking at first, but he wasn't. When I
asked what he meant. He said, what do you do
for me in this relationship? What makes you think you
deserve an expensive ring? This next part is going to
annoy some people, but I asked chat GPT if I
should be alarmed by a comment like this, and obviously
it told me yes and listed of reasons why this
(16:04):
comment is problematic. I read it off to him, this
is the only time I've ever done this, and he
told me, are you just going to effing us judge
ebt everything, Get the f out of here. With that,
I left without another word and drove home. It's now
the next day and I still haven't heard from him
at all. These comments really shook me and hurt me deeply.
(16:27):
I feel that my relationship and how I thought my
boyfriend feels about me are figments of my imagination. My question,
how would you respond or set boundaries after a comment
like this in a long term relationship? Well, Peeve, I
hope I'm not reading too much into it, but the
question what do you do for me in this relationship?
Feels absolutely transactional. Then telling you that you need to
(16:50):
earn an engagement ring like he's some sort of a
prize and just that would actually make me rethink a
lot of things, like if you guys get married, what
is that gonna look like? And then the way he reacted,
get the f out of here with that, he can
get BENTOPI I would seriously rethink this whole thing and
forget about this song cost fallacy. What do you guys think?
(17:12):
Let me know in the comment section, and now let's
check out the community comments. Historical Drawer five six two
says if I was told that and no further in
depth conversation happened, I'd walk away. That's self centered thinking
followed by a shutdown of communication. In my honest opinion,
what do you do for me in this relationship? What
does he do for you? Ask both the questions, not
(17:36):
just one of them. Unsuccessful Fly says girl, is that
how you want to be treated and spoken to? Forever?
He should have been gone like yesterday? You deserve better,
know your worth, came to the curve and don't look
back and Pristine Local nineteen sixty five says he's twenty four,
(17:56):
and I assume he benefits from consistent sex and companionship.
Based on this his response and no apology or follow
up message, it's safe to say he has no intention
of getting married to you. He's also disrespectful. I would
exit their relationship. Well, the community agrees that the boyfriend
is an ass and that Ope needs to bolt. So
(18:16):
let's move on to the update to see how this
story ends. Firstly, I want to thank everyone for the advice.
As harsh as some, maybe I needed to hear it.
I used chat GPT because I was being told repeatedly
that I was overreacting and wanted an outside perspective. It
helped me put words to why the comment felt wrong.
That's all. As far as the cost of the ring,
(18:38):
this was never about the prize. It was about how
commitment was framed and being told I had to earn it.
As for what happened afterwards, I sent him this message.
I've had time to think about what you said last
night and how the conversation ended. Being told I need
to earn commitment and being spoken to the way I
(18:58):
was changed how I feel about this relationship. You telling
me what you did makes me feel I am wasting
my time in this relationship and you don't want to
marry me. This has also been part of a continued
pattern for months. I don't feel respected or valued anymore,
and I don't want to continue in a relationship where
my worth is questioned. I've decided it's best for me
(19:20):
to end things goodbye. This was his response, which went unanswered.
What's wrong is the way you demand things, example, a
percentage of monthly income for a ring, and then go
and ask stupid ass chet Gibt if I'm a red flag.
That's only the icing on the cake. Because I'm asked
for crap every day and get you everything I can.
(19:41):
I do a lot of crap for you, and I
truly feel it goes unnoticed and always feel like I'm
not enough. I honestly feel like you're damn servant and
I'm tired of that crap. Gifts, presence, rings should be appreciated,
not expected, and you don't appreciate anything I do, and
that's how I feel. Then you I want to ask
chat GBT if I'm the red flag look in the mirror.
(20:05):
Opie's edit thought I should share this depressing detail. When
he told me, what do you do for me? I
told him, don't we love each other, make each other happy,
and have lots of fun together. And he was still
trying to argue his point to me. Unfortunately, I'm going
to have to agree with everyone in the fact that yes,
it seems he has been red pilled and or influenced
(20:26):
by his co workers. Thank you everyone for all the
support on my very first credit post. Wish me luck
on my future endeavors. Willoughby, the relationship has ended and
it seems like neither one of you was happy in it.
I don't know if there's any truth to the words
that your ex sent you, but if there are, then
it's a good thing. You guys are broken up and
now you can go both find somebody that will make
(20:48):
your lives better. So here's wishing you the best, Opee,
take care and thanks for sharing. And now let's finish
this video with a mood booster post. This post is
from the subredd at Petty Revenge and it's by Usering.
I left my shopping cart in the parking lot for
the first time ever and it felt great. I got
to the store today with my son and saw an
(21:10):
open space. Sweet I pulled through. I go to pull
in and see that some dumbass took up four parking
spaces and wasn't visible from the lane way. I had
to back out of the space. Since I couldn't fit
and ended up parking next to him. I shook my
head and grumbled about it and went in to do
my shopping. When I got back to my car, I
(21:30):
noticed that two other people had piled their carts around
this idiot's car, one in front and one in the back.
I've literally never once in my life left my cart
in the parking lot since I'm not an animal, but
it took only a few seconds for me to know
what I had to do. I put my cart next
to the driver's side door of this guy's car, and
(21:51):
it felt great. Hopefully more people kept up the pay
it Forward cart pile after me. Screw you people who
take four parking spaces. Opie absolutely agree with you. I
also don't leave the cart in the parking lot, because,
come on, it doesn't take much to put it where
it needs to be. But there are certain exceptions to
the rule, and this was one of them. Thanks so
(22:12):
much for sharing, Opie. And that's it for today's video.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch it. Now.
If you've gotten to this point in the video, I
assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy,
and if you don't have any time to watch another
story right now, save it for later. And also don't
forget to hit that subscribe button.
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subreddeda My the Akhole, and
it's by U Sir MJ. Paul. Nineteen brother didn't invite
me to his wedding. Family kept it a secret. I
cut them off. Am I the Akhole. I have a
large family that started falling apart when my parents passed
(00:24):
away eleven years ago. I was nineteen and my siblings
were all much older. Since then, my siblings and I
have had rocky or strained relationships due to various reasons,
and I slowly became the outcast of the family. With
my brother specially, things changed when he started dating his
now wife and they had a son. He was the
first baby in our family and I love babies, so
(00:47):
I wanted to be there to help. Things quickly went
downhill when they would ask me to babysit for a
couple of hours that turned into twelve plus hours, or
a day would turn into a weekend. This happened several times,
so I talked to my brother about how I felt
about them doing this and how it felt like they
were taking advantage. This turned into them telling our family
(01:10):
that I thought that the baby was a problem and
I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I
talked to the rest of my siblings to clear this up,
but this changed my relationship with my brother and his family.
There were also other situations after this that caused even
more of a rift between my brother and I. Since then,
I only interacted with my brother and his family at
(01:32):
gatherings from my end. I forgave and still bought them
gifts for their birthdays, Christmas, et cetera. But I never
received anything from him, not a text, a phone call, anything.
Fast forward to three years later, Thanksgiving Day. My whole
family was there, including my brother and his family. Everything
seemed normal. I will mention that my relationships with my
(01:55):
other siblings hadn't proved a lot over the years and
were better. We all have had small conversation about the
food and discussed secret Santa participation for Christmas. That was Thursday.
On Saturday, I see pictures on social media of what
appears to be my family at a wedding and my
brother appears to be the groom. Confused, I take a
(02:17):
screenshot and send it to my sisters to ask if
our brother had a wedding. They confirm my brother and
I don't have a good relationship, but I didn't think
it was so bad that he wouldn't invite me to
his wedding, and my relationship with my other siblings have
gotten better, so I thought that someone would have mentioned
that our brother was getting married, especially when we were
(02:39):
all together just a couple of days prior. Apparently they
were all in on this big secret for months without me,
and that hurt. It made me feel like even more
of an outcast in my own family than ever before.
This isn't the first time that my family has done
something like this. It's been a slew of issues and
situations over the past decade, and this was the cherry
(03:02):
on top for me. My sisters have reached out to
try to explain and apologize. I haven't heard anything from
my brothers. So am I the ahle for finally cutting
off my siblings? No, OPI, in my opinion, you are
far from being the ahole. First of all, your brothers
are your siblings, all of them. They're all a holes,
and your sisters apologizing now too little, too late. I
(03:23):
seriously don't understand why your brother would hate you this much.
All you did was tell him that you just wanted
to keep being a part of your nephew's life without
being taken advantage of. And he turned it into a
whole issue, got your family involved, and apparently it was
a mess. And now you thought you were rebuilding these
relationships and they all decided to keep it a secret
(03:44):
and lie to you. Your brother's a coward. He didn't
even have the spine to stand in front of you
and tell you I don't want you at my wedding.
That would have been harsh, but at least I could
respect that. But this crap, No, they all suck in
my opinion, And at this point, Ope, it's up to you.
Do you want to have a relationship with people that
treat you this way just because you're blood related? If
(04:05):
I were you, I'd block them and build my own family.
I'm sure you've got lots of friends and people that
love you. Your siblings are not part of that group,
or at least it doesn't seem like it. And what
do you guys think? Let me know in the comments section,
and now let's check out the community comments. Nurse Pinwin
thirty six says, not the a hole you put your
(04:25):
foot down at being his unpaid nanny, so he tried
to ruin your relationship with the rest of the family.
You forgive and still make an effort and send gifts
while he ignores you. Then the whole family hides his
wedding from you, knowing you will find out later in
social media and feel betrayed. Screw all of them, that
pie girly says, not the a whole. I'm so, so
(04:48):
very sorry this happened to you, Opie. Please take this
as a lesson. Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt. One.
You forgave your brother, but that doesn't mean he, in
his ridiculous mind, forgave you for your alleged crime of
putting your foot down over the reasonable request to not
upload their kid onto you for longer than agreed upon times. Yes,
(05:08):
you are family, but you also have a life and
are not a nanny being paid over time. They took
advantage and made you the villain for setting good and
reasonable boundaries. They then tried to damage your reputation and
relationship with the rest of your family by portraying you
as this villain. Two, they never reciprocated your olive branches
(05:31):
or showed any attempts to be cordial not besties, but
just cordial by getting you gifts, even though you got
them gifts. This should have already been assigned to you,
that there was no civility or relationship you were going
to have with them, and you should have stopped. They
showed you who they are then, and they have done
so for a final time in a massive way. Please
believe them this time and stop trying three. As for
(05:55):
the rest of your family, what they did was a
huge betrayal. Did they honestly think you weren't going to
find out about it? To sit there at Thanksgiving and
let you be the fool who was none the wiser
that there was something they all know that you didn't
that they just weren't talking about, is so cruel. Weddings
are chaotic and these folks deserve oscars for the performances
(06:16):
they put on to keep you in the dark for
months and specially that night so close to the wedding.
This is messed up the deception. Wow, sure your sisters apologized,
but again they and the rest of the family have
shown you who they are. So Opie, please stop believing them,
cut them off and go no contact with the guilt
(06:36):
free conscience, not the Ahle. Delete them from social media.
They don't get to monitor you and have access to
you to see what you were up to when they
lied to you for months and about a pretty major event.
They don't get access to know what you were up
to in your life anymore. Block them on social media.
These people don't get birthday messages, happy holidays, New Year's nada,
(06:59):
silence on your end. Stop being nice and trying. Just stop.
You'll only make a fool of yourself and end up hurt.
Cut them off and move on with your life. If
you can find a good therapist and do individual counseling. Remember,
finding a good therapist is like dating. Just because one
doesn't work well with you doesn't mean all therapyist crap.
(07:19):
Just keep looking until you find the right match. It'll
help you process and heal from this betrayal. Go live
your life with people who would not deceive you in
this way, rooting for you, and Baudeka says, don't even
argue about it. Don't make a big statement of going
no contact, as it will only escalate things further and
make you deal with more contact. Just drop the rope. Christmas,
(07:42):
if you have a chosen family to celebrate with do that,
or book a small getaway, or stay home and enjoy
a few days of self care. If they're siblings, you
don't want to stay in touch with. Do that, skip
the hallmark family meetings because they're fake, and don't hold
back on making that known it. Invite for a family celebration,
No thanks, that's all right, I'd rather have a nice
(08:04):
lunch just the two of us sometime next week. If asked,
you don't really feel like family events are for you.
Keep in mind that it's probably your brother only that
made you an outcast, and the other siblings are caught
up in his shenanigans. They were wrong to treat it
like a family secret, but giving your brother the satisfaction
of successfully cutting you out of the family seems wrong too.
(08:27):
Pick and choose who you still want to have around,
and don't get pulled into his drama anymore. Additional information
from OPI's comments. If my parents were still alive, I
truly don't believe this would have happened. They would have
shut something like this down immediately. Since they passed, a
lot of unhealthy dynamics have gone unchecked, and I think
(08:48):
this situation is a direct result of that. What hurt
the most wasn't just not being invited. It was realizing
this wasn't an accident or oversight. This was months of
people actively keeping something from me. Being excluded is one thing,
but being light to or deliberately kept in the dark
by people you just spent time with is another. Finding
(09:12):
out on social media made it worse. There was no
private heads up, no warning, nothing, just stumbling across photos
online and realizing everyone else knew. I still don't even
know how big the wedding was or who was there,
which honestly makes it harder not to feel like I
was intentionally singled out. That's why this hit so hard.
(09:34):
It wasn't just about a wedding. It was about realizing
where I actually stand in my own family. The community
agriz Op is not the a hole and it's split
between You should cut them all off, or you know,
just choose who you want to keep in your life.
So now let's move on to the update to see
how this story ends. Hi all, thanks for all the
(09:55):
advice and thoughts. You're all right, I should have stopped
this a long time ago. Being Latina, family is extremely
important in our culture, and if you try to distance
yourself from their toxicity. You're made to feel guilty like
the ahole, not just in this situation, but so many
others that have happened throughout the years. And for those wondering,
(10:15):
our ages range twenty five years from the oldest sibling
to the youngest. I'm the second youngest, and our youngest sibling,
sister Lisa, was also not invited or told about this. Basically,
all of our issues with our older siblings are related
to the age gaps and different ways of thinking, views
and opinions. I do believe that the rest of my
(10:38):
siblings were told not to mention anything so agree that
they were in a tough position. But like I said,
we were all in a good place lately, So all
of this just caught me completely by surprise. To be honest,
if he or any of my siblings would have given
me a head sub that he was having a wedding
just so I wouldn't be blindsided, I'd still appreciate honesty. Sure,
(11:01):
I'd still be hurt, but it's his day and it's
his choice, which I would have respected because I'm not
one for drama or attention. I was mostly hurt about
finding out afterwards on social media and knowing they were
all in on it, especially after just spending time together
a couple of days before and thinking everything was fine.
(11:23):
As of today, almost three weeks later, I've heard nothing
from any of my brothers. I did respond to my
sisters and expressed my feelings. Sister Anna's responds, I'm sorry
you feel that way. I didn't respond to her after
that because I knew I wouldn't get anywhere. Sister Barb's
response actually acknowledged that it was wrong and apologized for
(11:44):
her part in it. I accepted her apology, but I
feel like I can't trust her after everything that's happened.
So I've decided I'm going no contact with all of them.
I've blocked them all on social media and their phone numbers.
I also can so the Secret Santa event in the
app that we use. Eventually, I may go low contact
(12:05):
with Sister Barb, but need some time and space to
be able to make a solid decision. My family has
been the biggest source of my stress and anxiety over
the years. I have been to therapy on off for
the past several years dealing with my issues and definitely
recommend to anyone going through something similar. An appointment to
talk through this might be a great Christmas gift to
(12:28):
myself this year. At this point, I feel like I've
been through the five stages of grief dealing with this.
I wasn't just grieving the loss of my parents, but
also grieving the family that we once were when our
parents were here, because they were the glue that held
us together. Ultimately, this is me finally accepting what we've become.
(12:48):
Besides my family, the past couple of years have been
the happiest I've ever been. My husband's family accepted me
as one of their own, and I feel like they
truly care about my well being, so I'm focused my
time and energy on them, Sister Lisa, and the family
that I'm creating with my husband. Hopefully it'll be better
than the one I was born into. Additional information from
(13:10):
Opie's comments, my youngest sister and I were both excluded,
and at this point it really feels like it's been
the two of us against the world for a long time.
She's been my constant and that relationship is something I'm
protecting at all costs. I don't confront anyone aggressively or
demand explanations because I know how that would have gone.
It would have turned into drama, defensiveness, and somehow me
(13:33):
being blamed for reacting instead of them being held accountable
for what they did. I choose not to give certain
people that satisfaction. As I said in the update, being Latina,
there's a huge cultural pressure to tolerate bad behavior because family,
you're expected to forgive endlessly, stay quiet and accept disrespect
(13:53):
to keep the peace. I've done that for years, and
it's taken a serious toll on my mental health. This
isn't an impulsive decision. It was the result of years
of stress, anxiety, and feeling like I had to shrink
myself to stay included. Going no contact isn't about punishment.
It's about finally choosing peace. I'm focusing on the family
(14:14):
that shows up for me now, including my husband's family
and the life we're building together. Letting go of what
my family used to be is painful, but accepting what
it's become feels necessary. Opie, that is the best decision
that you're making. You're just focusing on the family that
shows up for you, Like you said, your husband's family,
your sister Lisa, and the family that you're building with
(14:37):
your husband and the others. Yeah whatever, So here's wishing
you the best, Opie. Thanks so much for sharing and
take care and now let's move on to the next
post that also has an update. This post is from
the subreddit Relationship Advice and it's by user neat establishment
sixty two. After four and a half years together, my
boyfriend twenty four told me twenty three femal, I need
(15:01):
to earn an engagement ring. Seeking outside perspectives, what are
reasonable next steps for me? Last night, my boyfriend twenty
four male and I, twenty three female, were talking about
our future. We've been together for four and a half years.
I'm not asking to get engaged right now, but I
wanted to talk about where things are headed. We got
(15:21):
onto the topic of engagement rings. I mentioned that I
think a ring should reflect serious intention and commitment, and
that traditionally people talk about rings being something you say
for I want to be clear that I'm not expecting
him to go broke, just that it should be something
meaningful and planned for. He then told me that I
would need to earn an engagement ring. I honestly thought
(15:43):
he was joking at first, but he wasn't. When I
asked what he meant. He said, what do you do
for me in this relationship? What makes you think you
deserve an expensive ring? This next part is going to
annoy some people, but I asked chat GPT if I
should be alarmed by a comment like this, and obviously
it told me yes and listed of reasons why this
(16:04):
comment is problematic. I read it off to him, this
is the only time I've ever done this, and he
told me, are you just going to effing us judge
ebt everything, Get the f out of here. With that,
I left without another word and drove home. It's now
the next day and I still haven't heard from him
at all. These comments really shook me and hurt me deeply.
(16:27):
I feel that my relationship and how I thought my
boyfriend feels about me are figments of my imagination. My question,
how would you respond or set boundaries after a comment
like this in a long term relationship? Well, Peeve, I
hope I'm not reading too much into it, but the
question what do you do for me in this relationship?
Feels absolutely transactional. Then telling you that you need to
(16:50):
earn an engagement ring like he's some sort of a
prize and just that would actually make me rethink a
lot of things, like if you guys get married, what
is that gonna look like? And then the way he reacted,
get the f out of here with that, he can
get BENTOPI I would seriously rethink this whole thing and
forget about this song cost fallacy. What do you guys think?
(17:12):
Let me know in the comment section, and now let's
check out the community comments. Historical Drawer five six two
says if I was told that and no further in
depth conversation happened, I'd walk away. That's self centered thinking
followed by a shutdown of communication. In my honest opinion,
what do you do for me in this relationship? What
does he do for you? Ask both the questions, not
(17:36):
just one of them. Unsuccessful Fly says girl, is that
how you want to be treated and spoken to? Forever?
He should have been gone like yesterday? You deserve better,
know your worth, came to the curve and don't look
back and Pristine Local nineteen sixty five says he's twenty four,
(17:56):
and I assume he benefits from consistent sex and companionship.
Based on this his response and no apology or follow
up message, it's safe to say he has no intention
of getting married to you. He's also disrespectful. I would
exit their relationship. Well, the community agrees that the boyfriend
is an ass and that Ope needs to bolt. So
(18:16):
let's move on to the update to see how this
story ends. Firstly, I want to thank everyone for the advice.
As harsh as some, maybe I needed to hear it.
I used chat GPT because I was being told repeatedly
that I was overreacting and wanted an outside perspective. It
helped me put words to why the comment felt wrong.
That's all. As far as the cost of the ring,
(18:38):
this was never about the prize. It was about how
commitment was framed and being told I had to earn it.
As for what happened afterwards, I sent him this message.
I've had time to think about what you said last
night and how the conversation ended. Being told I need
to earn commitment and being spoken to the way I
(18:58):
was changed how I feel about this relationship. You telling
me what you did makes me feel I am wasting
my time in this relationship and you don't want to
marry me. This has also been part of a continued
pattern for months. I don't feel respected or valued anymore,
and I don't want to continue in a relationship where
my worth is questioned. I've decided it's best for me
(19:20):
to end things goodbye. This was his response, which went unanswered.
What's wrong is the way you demand things, example, a
percentage of monthly income for a ring, and then go
and ask stupid ass chet Gibt if I'm a red flag.
That's only the icing on the cake. Because I'm asked
for crap every day and get you everything I can.
(19:41):
I do a lot of crap for you, and I
truly feel it goes unnoticed and always feel like I'm
not enough. I honestly feel like you're damn servant and
I'm tired of that crap. Gifts, presence, rings should be appreciated,
not expected, and you don't appreciate anything I do, and
that's how I feel. Then you I want to ask
chat GBT if I'm the red flag look in the mirror.
(20:05):
Opie's edit thought I should share this depressing detail. When
he told me, what do you do for me? I
told him, don't we love each other, make each other happy,
and have lots of fun together. And he was still
trying to argue his point to me. Unfortunately, I'm going
to have to agree with everyone in the fact that yes,
it seems he has been red pilled and or influenced
(20:26):
by his co workers. Thank you everyone for all the
support on my very first credit post. Wish me luck
on my future endeavors. Willoughby, the relationship has ended and
it seems like neither one of you was happy in it.
I don't know if there's any truth to the words
that your ex sent you, but if there are, then
it's a good thing. You guys are broken up and
now you can go both find somebody that will make
(20:48):
your lives better. So here's wishing you the best, Opee,
take care and thanks for sharing. And now let's finish
this video with a mood booster post. This post is
from the subredd at Petty Revenge and it's by Usering.
I left my shopping cart in the parking lot for
the first time ever and it felt great. I got
to the store today with my son and saw an
(21:10):
open space. Sweet I pulled through. I go to pull
in and see that some dumbass took up four parking
spaces and wasn't visible from the lane way. I had
to back out of the space. Since I couldn't fit
and ended up parking next to him. I shook my
head and grumbled about it and went in to do
my shopping. When I got back to my car, I
(21:30):
noticed that two other people had piled their carts around
this idiot's car, one in front and one in the back.
I've literally never once in my life left my cart
in the parking lot since I'm not an animal, but
it took only a few seconds for me to know
what I had to do. I put my cart next
to the driver's side door of this guy's car, and
(21:51):
it felt great. Hopefully more people kept up the pay
it Forward cart pile after me. Screw you people who
take four parking spaces. Opie absolutely agree with you. I
also don't leave the cart in the parking lot, because,
come on, it doesn't take much to put it where
it needs to be. But there are certain exceptions to
the rule, and this was one of them. Thanks so
(22:12):
much for sharing, Opie. And that's it for today's video.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch it. Now.
If you've gotten to this point in the video, I
assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy,
and if you don't have any time to watch another
story right now, save it for later. And also don't
forget to hit that subscribe button.
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