August 5, 2025 • 21 mins
Relationship Stories - After refusing to add his brother’s girlfriend’s baby to the bridal party, OP and her fiancé faced intense backlash. Now the in-laws are boycotting the wedding—but they’re holding their ground and won’t cave to pressure.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to lost genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded amiy ahole and it's
by user final estimate seventy one sixty six. Am I
the ahle for denying my future in law's only request
for the wedding, therefore ruining our whole relationship. I need
some advice on this situation from an unbiased source. Me,
(00:26):
twenty three female, and my fiance, twenty seven male, are
getting married in December. We got engaged in April and
I pretty much did all the planning myself with the
help of my mom in the first few weeks. From
the very beginning, my fiance and I had a plan
laid out for the bridal party that was one of
the first things decided since before I had the ring
(00:47):
on my finger, including flower girls and ring bearers. We
decided that the flower girl would be my sister's baby.
My sister is my matron of honor, who will be
pushed in a stroller du on the isle by my
ten female cousin, who would be considered a junior bridesmaid.
For the ring bearers. My fiance really wanted to include
(01:08):
his best friend's son for context. His friend has not
had custody of his child for most of his life
long story, and it could be a little difficult to
arrange his attendants. He will be around a year and
a half at the time of the wedding. As a result,
we decided that we would also have my two cousins,
five male and seven male, the brothers of the junior
(01:30):
bridesmaid be ring bearers as well. This way, it's no
pressure on the friend and everything will go smoothly whether
his child can come or not. The older boys will
help the younger boy walk down the aisle holding his hands.
We decided on these specific children because they are closely related,
close to us, and are the right age. Shortly after
(01:52):
the engagement, I asked my sister and my cousin, the
moms of the children, if their kids could be in
the wedding and gave details of what they should wear,
et cetera. The kids and parents both were so excited.
This was great and everything was going according to plan
until a few weeks ago when my mother in law
asked us if we could consider adding another flower girl
(02:16):
for context. My fiance's brother and best man, twenty four male,
lives across the country from US, and has recently told
us around four months ago that he has a new girlfriend,
twenty one female. This girlfriend has a child from a
previous relationship, female ten months. They have now known each
other about seven or eight months. He is very serious
(02:39):
about her and we are very happy for them. He
has taken up sort of a father role in her
daughter's life, which is adorable. He is expressing interest in
marrying her in the future, but they are taking it slow.
My fiance and I have never met his girlfriend or
her child, but we are thrilled for his brother, so
we of course invited them both to the wedding. Now
(03:02):
this is where things get a little messy. I have
always gotten along great with my fiance's family. They have
always been so sweet, kind, accepting, and well meaning. They
welcome newcomers with open arms, including me, and have really
become my family. I especially had a great relationship with
my mother in law. She is the sweetest lady and
would do anything for me and any one of her children.
(03:27):
She lives very close to us, and my family lives far.
She was always the first to say that it's our wedding,
meaning mine and my fiance, to encourage me to make
my own decisions in wedding planning and not let my
mother sway them. She has become like a mother to
me in so many ways. With that being said, they
are also very loving and accepting of my fiance's brother's
(03:49):
girlfriend and her baby from Afar, which is great. I'm
so glad they are so supportive. They even started calling
her baby their first grandchild. Then flew across the country
to meet them. With this context in mind, a couple
of weeks ago, when my mother in law and I
were hanging out just the two of us, she asked
me if I would consider adding the girlfriend's baby as
(04:11):
a flower girl. She says, my fiance's brother keeps bringing
it up and that it would be really cute. I
politely told her that we already had a flower girl,
my niece and a junior bridesmaid assigned to push her
in a carriage. She responded by saying, essentially, what's one more?
She will probably be able to walk by herself down
(04:32):
the aisle by then fourteen to fifteen months. I kind
of just said I would think about it with my
fiance and changed the subject. Later on, I told my
fiance about it, and we both agreed that it wasn't
a good idea. One. We already had the role filled,
and it would be sort of awkward to have a
baby randomly walking next to the stroller with the other baby.
(04:53):
Two if she needed help walking, it wouldn't be easy
for the ten year old to juggle two kids down
the aisle. Three. We have never met her, and she
might not be comfortable walking down the aisle of a
wedding where she knows nobody. And for they aren't married,
and worst case scenario, if they break up, she's in
all the pictures. I know that sounds harsh, but I
(05:16):
come from a family where traditionally, if you're not engaged,
you don't get a plus one, no matter who you are.
I'm not following this rule, and everyone's significant other is invited,
but that doesn't mean they get to be in the wedding.
My fiance and I were on the same page about this.
We agreed to keep the bridal party the way it was.
(05:36):
He talked to his brother and essentially told him it
was a no, and everything was fine and everyone was
on the same page until the other night. We were
at mother in law's house again, but this time my
fiance was there too. Once again, mother in law brings
up the flower girl thing, and my fiance tells her
that we already have the position filled and that's that.
(05:57):
But then my mother in law tells my fiance how
much it means to his brother since he keeps bringing
it up. This brings out the EmPATH in my fiance
and he starts to have an open mind about it. Meanwhile,
I'm still against it, and I start to say so
with some of the reasons I listed above. My mother
in law points out that all of the children in
(06:17):
the wedding are from my side except one, and that
their side doesn't have any representation. Meanwhile, this is because
there are no children on his side. She also points
out that there are three little boys in the wedding
and why can't there be three little girls. At this point,
she's convinced my fiance and I'm an island. I'm still
(06:39):
defending my position alone. She wasn't being rude or anything,
but every reason I have she seems to have a rebuttal.
She's saying things like they will get married one day anyways,
and she's already part of the family. Then I start
saying we will think about it, and she's like, so
that sounds like a no, and I was like, we
will consider. It was awkward and I was about to
(07:02):
like cry, so I changed the subject. The whole time,
I felt like I looked like a major ahole. It
was really bad. My fiance, Sinse apologized to me for
being open to the idea in front of his mother
when we had decided against it. From what he believed
about his mother, he figured that she would just have
an open conversation with us and not try to push
(07:24):
her way. I figured it would not go that way.
Later that night, he called his brother and told him
it was for sure no, and we had already asked
other people. His brother was sad but understood. I felt
really bad and guilty for making my fiance feel bad.
I was worried immediately after that conversation that his mother
(07:44):
would tell his brother that my fiance was for it
and I was against it. While we were at her place,
my fiance said that he knows his mother well and
that she wouldn't do that. That next morning, his brother
calls him, wanting to talk. The first words out of
his mind are, after our conversation last night, I talked
to mom and she said that you were wanting to
(08:06):
have a restive flower girl, and your fiance wasn't just
as I thought would happen. And he goes on to say,
as your brother, I want to make sure that you
get what you want, since it's your wedding. I was pissed.
My fiance told him that we would still talk about it,
but that we had already agreed not to have her
(08:27):
as the flower girl and that he should not have
seemed so open to it last night. The whole day
we discussed it, I felt like an a hole and
was tempted to cave and keep the peace. But the
only reason my fiance was wanting it was because it
meant a lot to his brother. But the conclusion we
came to was that it's not his brother's wedding. So
(08:50):
we called him up a few hours later and told
him no for the third time. He was upset, but
at least it was over, or so we thought. He
texted him the next morning again expressing how hurt he
was by it, but at that point we were like,
the decision is made, it's our wedding, Please get over it.
And then my fiance's brother enlisted their mother. She calls
(09:13):
my fiance and basically attacks him for almost an hour
on the phone. My fiance did a great job of
sticking up for us and sticking to his guns. His
mom went as far as to say that my relationship
with his whole family will be forever affected by this decision,
that one hurt, and that my fiance's relationship with his
brother will forever be altered. At this point, this is
(09:36):
all going way too far. We ended up talking to
my fiance's sister and found out that his brother no
longer wants to be best man anymore and that neither
of them want to speak to us for a while.
They said that this won't be resolved until we give in.
I'm at a loss for words. This doesn't even feel
like a real situation, to be honest, I feel like
(09:57):
I'm in the twilight zone. Are definitely not going to
give in at this point. All that it would tell
them is that if they push hard enough, they can
manipulate us. It just really hurts because we had such
a great relationship before this. Am I the Ahle for
saying no to their request? OPI. I'm gonna keep this
really short because it's simple. You're not the Ahle. This
(10:18):
is your and your fiance's wedding. This is not a
group project or something that everybody has a say in.
You have made thoughtful early decisions to avoid any problems. Now,
the fact that his family, his mom and his brother
are pushing this hard over a role for a baby
that you've never met is just so weird. Like I get,
(10:38):
they can be excited about having a baby in the
family and all that, but again boycotting her son's wedding
because the other one can't get the kid that his
girlfriend has to be the flower girl. Yeah, that's what
doesn't add up to me. Now. In the end, if
they're willing to skip your wedding over this, then just
send them a postcard. It's not your problem, it's theirs.
(10:59):
And what are you think? Let me know in the
comments section and now let's check out the community comments.
Groovy Yahya says your fiance needs to do two things. One,
he needs to tell his brother that he had a
weak moment and caved into his mom's pressure about this.
That while he is sure that if the brother gets married,
you both will welcome the new nies with enthusiasm and
(11:20):
opened arms and will not hesitate to treat her as
any other niece. However, you haven't met her yet, and
this isn't about her, since she isn't even two years
old yet two he needs to call his mother and
tell her to fix this goddamn mess she has created
by not taking no for an answer, not supporting you
both on your wedding versus a child you have never met,
(11:43):
and now gossiping so that his bride is being thrashed
and his brother dropped out that she should have stayed
out of it. And if brother doesn't apologize or back off,
he will be telling everyone what a mess she and
brother created and she will have to answer all the
questions about where is her other son at the wedding.
Turbulent Break eighteen sixty two says brother in law wants
(12:06):
to propose at the wedding one hundred percent, and hrh
Valkyrie says, not the ahle. You don't know the kid
of the mom. It seems so weird that this is
a hill they are all willing to die on, and
yet instead of introducing you to this woman and her child,
they just keep badgering you about it. I feel like
there has to be something weird that they aren't telling you.
(12:29):
Maybe the child is actually your future brother in law's,
but it's a secret. Maybe she's already pregnant with his kid.
Something is not adding up. The community agrees that op
is not the Ahle and that this thing doesn't add up.
But some people have the theory that the brother in
law is planning to propose at Opie's wedding. So now
let's move on to the update to see how this
(12:49):
story ends. Wow. As a new Reddit poster, I'm absolutely
shocked by how many views and comments this postcard. Was
not expecting for people to actually reply. Thank you for
those of you that gave great advice and were trying
to help the situation. Your insight really opened our eyes,
mine and my fiance. A lot of you hit the
(13:09):
nail on the head. Brother in law is the golden
child and has always been favored greatly over my fiance
by their mother. Brother in law is the youngest and
his mother has been coddling him his whole life. My
fiance is the oldest and tends to be the peacemaker
or the sacrificed. A lot of you also called out
the triangulation manipulation. I told my fiance this, and he
(13:31):
said that his younger brother often would rope his mom
into their arguments, get her to take his side, and
get my fiance in trouble, no matter how ridiculous or
wrong the brother was being. He mastered the art of
triangulation manipulation from a young age. My fiance would just
take it and apologize to keep the peace. For those
of you who said it's ridiculous to have a child
(13:52):
we have never met and are not related to, and
have not even met her mother as such an important
part of our wedding part, Thank you. I was feeling
like the crazy one for thinking this. Also information, I
was being gracious when I said they have been together
eight months. They have known each other eight months and
have only been dating officially for four months. The wedding
(14:16):
is further away than the length of their whole relationship.
It's bizarre that they are pushing so hard for this now.
For those who said we should have granted their request
and just keep the peace, my fiance has been doing
this his entire life with this family. That is probably
why they resorted to the usual manipulation tactics. He never
(14:36):
actually wanted to have this baby in our wedding. He
in fact thought it was pretty ridiculous of them to ask.
He was just ready to cave because he always does
to keep the family peace at the expense of himself
and his needs and once every time. Except the difference
is this time the wedding is about him. It's his day,
not his brother, well both of us. And that's the
(14:58):
other thing. He has me this time to stand up
for him and what he actually wanted. I also wanted
it too, which helps onto the update. A lot has
happened today. My fiance went to see his dad and
then his mom. They are separated. His dad is neutral
but has been sticking up for me in this whole thing.
I have a great relationship with him. He filled us
(15:21):
in on a lot. Here is essentially what has been happening.
Turns out brother in law's girlfriend has more to do
with this than we thought. As some of you suggested
in the comments, she is the one who has been
encouraging him to push for this because it means a
lot to him, and been super offended and making a
big deal about us saying no. Personally, if it was me,
(15:43):
I would never ask someone if my kid could be
in their wedding, even if it's family. But forcing it
on strangers is wild. My fiance found out from talking
to his dad that my mother in law and brother
in law are spreading a whole bunch of lies. Here
is what has all unfolded. Mother in law is telling
people I'm racist and that's why I didn't want the
(16:05):
baby in it. Apparently the baby and mother are Filipino,
which I honestly didn't even know because once again, I've
never met them. They live across the country. I don't
even know their last name, but still I don't care
what race they are in the slightest. The girlfriend now
believes this and doesn't even want to come to the
wedding anymore. That's her choice. Also, the wedding party is
(16:26):
diverse ethnicities, so how is it that I'm a racist?
Brother in law is telling people that we are judging
the girlfriend and don't want her child in the wedding
because she was born out of wetlock, which is ridiculous.
Two of the children who are already in the wedding
were born out of wedlock, one from each side. They
have been talking behind our backs, gossiping, making up lies
(16:48):
about me, and assuming things about me that are not true.
Brother in law is twisting and changing my fiance's words
into complete lies that make him seem like a victim.
He is feeding these lives of things my fiance did
not say to not only his mother, but his sister
and his dad. My sister in law and father in
law are both neutral and won't take sides, but think
(17:11):
that this whole thing is insane and wanted to end
We do too. They both said that they are doing
this whole thing and hate me for no reason. So
today my fiance went to see his mother to essentially
call her out for her behavior. She was absolutely hysterical
and was not ready to listen to reason or logic.
She deflected and denied and lied about things we knew
(17:33):
were in fact true. She refused to take accountability or
any sort of blame for the situation getting out of hand.
She just deferred back to blaming me for everything and
making me the villain and herself under pressure's baby son
brother in law the victim. Meanwhile, the last time I
spoke to either of them was when we had that
conversation with mother in law at her house where my
(17:56):
fiance slipped and this whole thing started. My fiance has
been handling this whole thing and even trying to shield
me from the blame and take it all for himself.
It's not working. Mother in law and brother in law
have made this whole thing up in their heads and
driven themselves and everyone else crazy over it. Meanwhile, all
I've done is express my concerns for having a child
(18:18):
in the wedding that we don't know in that initial
conversation when they aren't engaged or married, and the fact
that we already filled the roles. She denies favoring brother
in law and claims that she is hurt by the accusation,
and then in the same breath favors him and defends him.
I feel the worst for my fiance because he doesn't
(18:39):
even want anything to do with him anymore and does
not feel the need to keep up with these relationships.
He said that his mother expected him to fall on
his face today and apologize for everything, because that is
what he was forced to do growing up, and that's
what they are used to. But now that I'm an
extension of him, he is not letting me or us
get treated this way. He is angry that they are
(19:01):
selfishly trying to use our day to make some grand
gesture to his brother's girlfriend he's been dating for four months,
and that they refuse to respect our wishes. He is
shocked and disappointed that they are lying about us and
creating drama around our wedding. He is saying good bye
to this toxic cycle and going to go no contact
until they come to their senses and fix this mess.
(19:24):
For those of you who asked, we are in primarital
counseling with our pastor, who is also our efficient. He
was bewildered that they even requested this in the first place,
and shocked and dismayed that they have turned it into
such an ordeal. Anyways, this wasn't the update we hoped for,
but it's the one we have. Hopefully one day things
will turn around. We are hoping mother in law at
(19:47):
least comes to her senses, considering we are the only
family that lives near her. Maybe she will learn to
support the son and daughter in law who will one
day birth the grandkids she actually has a shot of
seeing regularly, rather than blatantly favoring the son and girlfriend
who live across the country. But for the time being,
this is it. Well, Loop, I think your brother in
(20:08):
law and your mother in law put themselves in that position.
And also, I think it's awesome that your future husband
is finally standing up to them, if not just for himself,
for the both of you. So on that note, here's
witching you the best, Ope, take care and thanks for sharing.
And now let's finish this video with a quick mood
booster post. This post is from the subreddit malicious Compliance,
(20:29):
and it's by user unlucky Pin ninety five fifty five.
They said all guests must sign in, so I made
the CEO wait in the lobby until security approved him.
We got a new visitor policy last week. The email
was bolded, underlined and said all guests must sign in
and wait for security clearance before entering. No exceptions. I
(20:52):
work front desk. Normally executives just walk through. But hey,
the email said what it said. So when the CEO
came in early for a board meeting, smiled and started
heading for the elevator, I handed him the clipboard and said, sorry, sir,
I'll need you to sign in and wait while I
call it in. He looked confused, maybe a little amused,
(21:14):
but sat down. Security took their time ten four minutes.
The next morning, we got a new email used discretion
for executive level visitors. Go figure Willopy. The rules were
clearly written, no exceptions, no exceptions. It was until you
can use discretion, of course. Thanks for sharing, OP, and
(21:36):
that's it for today's video. Thank you so much for
taking the time to watch it. Now. If you've gotten
to this point in the video, I assume that you
like these stories that I'm reading out, so here are
a couple more that you might enjoy. And if you
don't have any time to watch another story right now,
save it for later. And also, don't forget to hit
that subscribe button.
Hi everybody, and welcome back to lost genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded amiy ahole and it's
by user final estimate seventy one sixty six. Am I
the ahle for denying my future in law's only request
for the wedding, therefore ruining our whole relationship. I need
some advice on this situation from an unbiased source. Me,
(00:26):
twenty three female, and my fiance, twenty seven male, are
getting married in December. We got engaged in April and
I pretty much did all the planning myself with the
help of my mom in the first few weeks. From
the very beginning, my fiance and I had a plan
laid out for the bridal party that was one of
the first things decided since before I had the ring
(00:47):
on my finger, including flower girls and ring bearers. We
decided that the flower girl would be my sister's baby.
My sister is my matron of honor, who will be
pushed in a stroller du on the isle by my
ten female cousin, who would be considered a junior bridesmaid.
For the ring bearers. My fiance really wanted to include
(01:08):
his best friend's son for context. His friend has not
had custody of his child for most of his life
long story, and it could be a little difficult to
arrange his attendants. He will be around a year and
a half at the time of the wedding. As a result,
we decided that we would also have my two cousins,
five male and seven male, the brothers of the junior
(01:30):
bridesmaid be ring bearers as well. This way, it's no
pressure on the friend and everything will go smoothly whether
his child can come or not. The older boys will
help the younger boy walk down the aisle holding his hands.
We decided on these specific children because they are closely related,
close to us, and are the right age. Shortly after
(01:52):
the engagement, I asked my sister and my cousin, the
moms of the children, if their kids could be in
the wedding and gave details of what they should wear,
et cetera. The kids and parents both were so excited.
This was great and everything was going according to plan
until a few weeks ago when my mother in law
asked us if we could consider adding another flower girl
(02:16):
for context. My fiance's brother and best man, twenty four male,
lives across the country from US, and has recently told
us around four months ago that he has a new girlfriend,
twenty one female. This girlfriend has a child from a
previous relationship, female ten months. They have now known each
other about seven or eight months. He is very serious
(02:39):
about her and we are very happy for them. He
has taken up sort of a father role in her
daughter's life, which is adorable. He is expressing interest in
marrying her in the future, but they are taking it slow.
My fiance and I have never met his girlfriend or
her child, but we are thrilled for his brother, so
we of course invited them both to the wedding. Now
(03:02):
this is where things get a little messy. I have
always gotten along great with my fiance's family. They have
always been so sweet, kind, accepting, and well meaning. They
welcome newcomers with open arms, including me, and have really
become my family. I especially had a great relationship with
my mother in law. She is the sweetest lady and
would do anything for me and any one of her children.
(03:27):
She lives very close to us, and my family lives far.
She was always the first to say that it's our wedding,
meaning mine and my fiance, to encourage me to make
my own decisions in wedding planning and not let my
mother sway them. She has become like a mother to
me in so many ways. With that being said, they
are also very loving and accepting of my fiance's brother's
(03:49):
girlfriend and her baby from Afar, which is great. I'm
so glad they are so supportive. They even started calling
her baby their first grandchild. Then flew across the country
to meet them. With this context in mind, a couple
of weeks ago, when my mother in law and I
were hanging out just the two of us, she asked
me if I would consider adding the girlfriend's baby as
(04:11):
a flower girl. She says, my fiance's brother keeps bringing
it up and that it would be really cute. I
politely told her that we already had a flower girl,
my niece and a junior bridesmaid assigned to push her
in a carriage. She responded by saying, essentially, what's one more?
She will probably be able to walk by herself down
(04:32):
the aisle by then fourteen to fifteen months. I kind
of just said I would think about it with my
fiance and changed the subject. Later on, I told my
fiance about it, and we both agreed that it wasn't
a good idea. One. We already had the role filled,
and it would be sort of awkward to have a
baby randomly walking next to the stroller with the other baby.
(04:53):
Two if she needed help walking, it wouldn't be easy
for the ten year old to juggle two kids down
the aisle. Three. We have never met her, and she
might not be comfortable walking down the aisle of a
wedding where she knows nobody. And for they aren't married,
and worst case scenario, if they break up, she's in
all the pictures. I know that sounds harsh, but I
(05:16):
come from a family where traditionally, if you're not engaged,
you don't get a plus one, no matter who you are.
I'm not following this rule, and everyone's significant other is invited,
but that doesn't mean they get to be in the wedding.
My fiance and I were on the same page about this.
We agreed to keep the bridal party the way it was.
(05:36):
He talked to his brother and essentially told him it
was a no, and everything was fine and everyone was
on the same page until the other night. We were
at mother in law's house again, but this time my
fiance was there too. Once again, mother in law brings
up the flower girl thing, and my fiance tells her
that we already have the position filled and that's that.
(05:57):
But then my mother in law tells my fiance how
much it means to his brother since he keeps bringing
it up. This brings out the EmPATH in my fiance
and he starts to have an open mind about it. Meanwhile,
I'm still against it, and I start to say so
with some of the reasons I listed above. My mother
in law points out that all of the children in
(06:17):
the wedding are from my side except one, and that
their side doesn't have any representation. Meanwhile, this is because
there are no children on his side. She also points
out that there are three little boys in the wedding
and why can't there be three little girls. At this point,
she's convinced my fiance and I'm an island. I'm still
(06:39):
defending my position alone. She wasn't being rude or anything,
but every reason I have she seems to have a rebuttal.
She's saying things like they will get married one day anyways,
and she's already part of the family. Then I start
saying we will think about it, and she's like, so
that sounds like a no, and I was like, we
will consider. It was awkward and I was about to
(07:02):
like cry, so I changed the subject. The whole time,
I felt like I looked like a major ahole. It
was really bad. My fiance, Sinse apologized to me for
being open to the idea in front of his mother
when we had decided against it. From what he believed
about his mother, he figured that she would just have
an open conversation with us and not try to push
(07:24):
her way. I figured it would not go that way.
Later that night, he called his brother and told him
it was for sure no, and we had already asked
other people. His brother was sad but understood. I felt
really bad and guilty for making my fiance feel bad.
I was worried immediately after that conversation that his mother
(07:44):
would tell his brother that my fiance was for it
and I was against it. While we were at her place,
my fiance said that he knows his mother well and
that she wouldn't do that. That next morning, his brother
calls him, wanting to talk. The first words out of
his mind are, after our conversation last night, I talked
to mom and she said that you were wanting to
(08:06):
have a restive flower girl, and your fiance wasn't just
as I thought would happen. And he goes on to say,
as your brother, I want to make sure that you
get what you want, since it's your wedding. I was pissed.
My fiance told him that we would still talk about it,
but that we had already agreed not to have her
(08:27):
as the flower girl and that he should not have
seemed so open to it last night. The whole day
we discussed it, I felt like an a hole and
was tempted to cave and keep the peace. But the
only reason my fiance was wanting it was because it
meant a lot to his brother. But the conclusion we
came to was that it's not his brother's wedding. So
(08:50):
we called him up a few hours later and told
him no for the third time. He was upset, but
at least it was over, or so we thought. He
texted him the next morning again expressing how hurt he
was by it, but at that point we were like,
the decision is made, it's our wedding, Please get over it.
And then my fiance's brother enlisted their mother. She calls
(09:13):
my fiance and basically attacks him for almost an hour
on the phone. My fiance did a great job of
sticking up for us and sticking to his guns. His
mom went as far as to say that my relationship
with his whole family will be forever affected by this decision,
that one hurt, and that my fiance's relationship with his
brother will forever be altered. At this point, this is
(09:36):
all going way too far. We ended up talking to
my fiance's sister and found out that his brother no
longer wants to be best man anymore and that neither
of them want to speak to us for a while.
They said that this won't be resolved until we give in.
I'm at a loss for words. This doesn't even feel
like a real situation, to be honest, I feel like
(09:57):
I'm in the twilight zone. Are definitely not going to
give in at this point. All that it would tell
them is that if they push hard enough, they can
manipulate us. It just really hurts because we had such
a great relationship before this. Am I the Ahle for
saying no to their request? OPI. I'm gonna keep this
really short because it's simple. You're not the Ahle. This
(10:18):
is your and your fiance's wedding. This is not a
group project or something that everybody has a say in.
You have made thoughtful early decisions to avoid any problems. Now,
the fact that his family, his mom and his brother
are pushing this hard over a role for a baby
that you've never met is just so weird. Like I get,
(10:38):
they can be excited about having a baby in the
family and all that, but again boycotting her son's wedding
because the other one can't get the kid that his
girlfriend has to be the flower girl. Yeah, that's what
doesn't add up to me. Now. In the end, if
they're willing to skip your wedding over this, then just
send them a postcard. It's not your problem, it's theirs.
(10:59):
And what are you think? Let me know in the
comments section and now let's check out the community comments.
Groovy Yahya says your fiance needs to do two things. One,
he needs to tell his brother that he had a
weak moment and caved into his mom's pressure about this.
That while he is sure that if the brother gets married,
you both will welcome the new nies with enthusiasm and
(11:20):
opened arms and will not hesitate to treat her as
any other niece. However, you haven't met her yet, and
this isn't about her, since she isn't even two years
old yet two he needs to call his mother and
tell her to fix this goddamn mess she has created
by not taking no for an answer, not supporting you
both on your wedding versus a child you have never met,
(11:43):
and now gossiping so that his bride is being thrashed
and his brother dropped out that she should have stayed
out of it. And if brother doesn't apologize or back off,
he will be telling everyone what a mess she and
brother created and she will have to answer all the
questions about where is her other son at the wedding.
Turbulent Break eighteen sixty two says brother in law wants
(12:06):
to propose at the wedding one hundred percent, and hrh
Valkyrie says, not the ahle. You don't know the kid
of the mom. It seems so weird that this is
a hill they are all willing to die on, and
yet instead of introducing you to this woman and her child,
they just keep badgering you about it. I feel like
there has to be something weird that they aren't telling you.
(12:29):
Maybe the child is actually your future brother in law's,
but it's a secret. Maybe she's already pregnant with his kid.
Something is not adding up. The community agrees that op
is not the Ahle and that this thing doesn't add up.
But some people have the theory that the brother in
law is planning to propose at Opie's wedding. So now
let's move on to the update to see how this
(12:49):
story ends. Wow. As a new Reddit poster, I'm absolutely
shocked by how many views and comments this postcard. Was
not expecting for people to actually reply. Thank you for
those of you that gave great advice and were trying
to help the situation. Your insight really opened our eyes,
mine and my fiance. A lot of you hit the
(13:09):
nail on the head. Brother in law is the golden
child and has always been favored greatly over my fiance
by their mother. Brother in law is the youngest and
his mother has been coddling him his whole life. My
fiance is the oldest and tends to be the peacemaker
or the sacrificed. A lot of you also called out
the triangulation manipulation. I told my fiance this, and he
(13:31):
said that his younger brother often would rope his mom
into their arguments, get her to take his side, and
get my fiance in trouble, no matter how ridiculous or
wrong the brother was being. He mastered the art of
triangulation manipulation from a young age. My fiance would just
take it and apologize to keep the peace. For those
of you who said it's ridiculous to have a child
(13:52):
we have never met and are not related to, and
have not even met her mother as such an important
part of our wedding part, Thank you. I was feeling
like the crazy one for thinking this. Also information, I
was being gracious when I said they have been together
eight months. They have known each other eight months and
have only been dating officially for four months. The wedding
(14:16):
is further away than the length of their whole relationship.
It's bizarre that they are pushing so hard for this now.
For those who said we should have granted their request
and just keep the peace, my fiance has been doing
this his entire life with this family. That is probably
why they resorted to the usual manipulation tactics. He never
(14:36):
actually wanted to have this baby in our wedding. He
in fact thought it was pretty ridiculous of them to ask.
He was just ready to cave because he always does
to keep the family peace at the expense of himself
and his needs and once every time. Except the difference
is this time the wedding is about him. It's his day,
not his brother, well both of us. And that's the
(14:58):
other thing. He has me this time to stand up
for him and what he actually wanted. I also wanted
it too, which helps onto the update. A lot has
happened today. My fiance went to see his dad and
then his mom. They are separated. His dad is neutral
but has been sticking up for me in this whole thing.
I have a great relationship with him. He filled us
(15:21):
in on a lot. Here is essentially what has been happening.
Turns out brother in law's girlfriend has more to do
with this than we thought. As some of you suggested
in the comments, she is the one who has been
encouraging him to push for this because it means a
lot to him, and been super offended and making a
big deal about us saying no. Personally, if it was me,
(15:43):
I would never ask someone if my kid could be
in their wedding, even if it's family. But forcing it
on strangers is wild. My fiance found out from talking
to his dad that my mother in law and brother
in law are spreading a whole bunch of lies. Here
is what has all unfolded. Mother in law is telling
people I'm racist and that's why I didn't want the
(16:05):
baby in it. Apparently the baby and mother are Filipino,
which I honestly didn't even know because once again, I've
never met them. They live across the country. I don't
even know their last name, but still I don't care
what race they are in the slightest. The girlfriend now
believes this and doesn't even want to come to the
wedding anymore. That's her choice. Also, the wedding party is
(16:26):
diverse ethnicities, so how is it that I'm a racist?
Brother in law is telling people that we are judging
the girlfriend and don't want her child in the wedding
because she was born out of wetlock, which is ridiculous.
Two of the children who are already in the wedding
were born out of wedlock, one from each side. They
have been talking behind our backs, gossiping, making up lies
(16:48):
about me, and assuming things about me that are not true.
Brother in law is twisting and changing my fiance's words
into complete lies that make him seem like a victim.
He is feeding these lives of things my fiance did
not say to not only his mother, but his sister
and his dad. My sister in law and father in
law are both neutral and won't take sides, but think
(17:11):
that this whole thing is insane and wanted to end
We do too. They both said that they are doing
this whole thing and hate me for no reason. So
today my fiance went to see his mother to essentially
call her out for her behavior. She was absolutely hysterical
and was not ready to listen to reason or logic.
She deflected and denied and lied about things we knew
(17:33):
were in fact true. She refused to take accountability or
any sort of blame for the situation getting out of hand.
She just deferred back to blaming me for everything and
making me the villain and herself under pressure's baby son
brother in law the victim. Meanwhile, the last time I
spoke to either of them was when we had that
conversation with mother in law at her house where my
(17:56):
fiance slipped and this whole thing started. My fiance has
been handling this whole thing and even trying to shield
me from the blame and take it all for himself.
It's not working. Mother in law and brother in law
have made this whole thing up in their heads and
driven themselves and everyone else crazy over it. Meanwhile, all
I've done is express my concerns for having a child
(18:18):
in the wedding that we don't know in that initial
conversation when they aren't engaged or married, and the fact
that we already filled the roles. She denies favoring brother
in law and claims that she is hurt by the accusation,
and then in the same breath favors him and defends him.
I feel the worst for my fiance because he doesn't
(18:39):
even want anything to do with him anymore and does
not feel the need to keep up with these relationships.
He said that his mother expected him to fall on
his face today and apologize for everything, because that is
what he was forced to do growing up, and that's
what they are used to. But now that I'm an
extension of him, he is not letting me or us
get treated this way. He is angry that they are
(19:01):
selfishly trying to use our day to make some grand
gesture to his brother's girlfriend he's been dating for four months,
and that they refuse to respect our wishes. He is
shocked and disappointed that they are lying about us and
creating drama around our wedding. He is saying good bye
to this toxic cycle and going to go no contact
until they come to their senses and fix this mess.
(19:24):
For those of you who asked, we are in primarital
counseling with our pastor, who is also our efficient. He
was bewildered that they even requested this in the first place,
and shocked and dismayed that they have turned it into
such an ordeal. Anyways, this wasn't the update we hoped for,
but it's the one we have. Hopefully one day things
will turn around. We are hoping mother in law at
(19:47):
least comes to her senses, considering we are the only
family that lives near her. Maybe she will learn to
support the son and daughter in law who will one
day birth the grandkids she actually has a shot of
seeing regularly, rather than blatantly favoring the son and girlfriend
who live across the country. But for the time being,
this is it. Well, Loop, I think your brother in
(20:08):
law and your mother in law put themselves in that position.
And also, I think it's awesome that your future husband
is finally standing up to them, if not just for himself,
for the both of you. So on that note, here's
witching you the best, Ope, take care and thanks for sharing.
And now let's finish this video with a quick mood
booster post. This post is from the subreddit malicious Compliance,
(20:29):
and it's by user unlucky Pin ninety five fifty five.
They said all guests must sign in, so I made
the CEO wait in the lobby until security approved him.
We got a new visitor policy last week. The email
was bolded, underlined and said all guests must sign in
and wait for security clearance before entering. No exceptions. I
(20:52):
work front desk. Normally executives just walk through. But hey,
the email said what it said. So when the CEO
came in early for a board meeting, smiled and started
heading for the elevator, I handed him the clipboard and said, sorry, sir,
I'll need you to sign in and wait while I
call it in. He looked confused, maybe a little amused,
(21:14):
but sat down. Security took their time ten four minutes.
The next morning, we got a new email used discretion
for executive level visitors. Go figure Willopy. The rules were
clearly written, no exceptions, no exceptions. It was until you
can use discretion, of course. Thanks for sharing, OP, and
(21:36):
that's it for today's video. Thank you so much for
taking the time to watch it. Now. If you've gotten
to this point in the video, I assume that you
like these stories that I'm reading out, so here are
a couple more that you might enjoy. And if you
don't have any time to watch another story right now,
save it for later. And also, don't forget to hit
that subscribe button.
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