October 11, 2025 • 20 mins
Relationship Stories - When OP’s mom confessed she once tried to terminate her pregnancy, everything he believed about his family shattered. Faced with years of neglect and pain, he made an impossible choice between love, truth, and forgiveness.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the Subredda dam I the a Hole,
and it's by user livid Society eighteen twenty eight. Am
I the a hole for siding with my dad in
my parents' divorce even though he cheated. I fifteen male,
am the oldest of three. My brother is the middle,
(00:24):
eleven male, and my sister is the youngest, eight female.
My family had always been kind of messy, and I
knew that from the beginning, but growing up I always
felt outcasted from my mother and her side of the family,
which is mostly just her sister since my Mom's not
clothes with her parents. I noticed this mostly as my
brother and sister got older. It was like night and day.
(00:48):
For example, at school, if I made some crappy painting,
my mom wouldn't even look at it. But I noticed
now with my brother, but more so my sister, anything
she makes is like it was touched by the hand
of God.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Itself, and it gets displayed everywhere.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
My aunt Mom's sister would never ask how my day
was or anything, hardly talk to me if I wanted
to tell her something, she didn't care. But with my
brother and sister. She's the warmest person, so nice, so kind,
so much fun, but never that with me. My mom
would sometimes not set a plate for me at the table,
(01:25):
and I had to get my own in a family
Christmas card one year she used to picture without me
in it. I used to hear my mom and dad
fight about this a lot, especially when I was younger.
My dad would always just ask her to try and
I think it's finally click for me now. I am
the reason for this divorce. Partly apart from the cheating,
(01:47):
my dad and his family were the opposite of this.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
They loved me.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I have a great relationship with my father. He's the
best father ever. About a few days before my parents
told us about the divorce, I got it a huge
fight with my mom and kind of my dad, but
he was just kind of there over unrelated things. But
during that I kind of asked her why she didn't
love me, and I think in a moment of anger,
(02:12):
she admitted she didn't want me and I was a
failed termination. I don't quite know what went wrong, but
in my state, terminations aren't legal, so I guess it
was her being young and not having a lot of
proper access or something. At that moment, my dad just
basically exploded on her and sent me to bed. I
(02:32):
think I shut down after this. I just remember being
pathetic and crying in my bed that night. I knew
I was a teen pregnancy, but I thought my mom
and dad pushed through that, and even though I was
a teen pregnancy, I thought they still loved me and
worked hard to pass high school and take care of me.
When my parents sat as down and informed me and
(02:54):
my siblings they were getting divorced, I felt numb to it.
My siblings were so distraught, but I felt well numb.
I still feel numb. My aunt was there and was
telling me and my siblings to get ready to leave
and that we were gonna go stay with.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
My mom for a while.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
In that moment, I got really upset because I did
not want to go live with a woman who wanted
to have me terminated and then proceeded to treat me
like crap throughout my life and clearly did not love me.
I didn't mention that initially, so I told my aunt,
mom and dad that I didn't want to leave the
house I grew up and to go stay at my
aunt's house with my mom.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
My mother just looks sad.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
But I walked out of the kitchen and to my
bedroom to go be alone. My aunt followed me and
wanted to talk to me. She seemed very upset with me.
She said that my siblings look up to me. That's
very true. I'm basically a third parent, and I need
to be there for my mother in this hard time.
I told her something like I don't want to be
there for that bitch, and my aunt got really mad
(03:55):
and told me I didn't understand and that my dad
cheated and I should support my mom. That's how I
learned he cheated. In that moment, I honestly didn't care
he cheated. Looking back, I think it was crap. My
dad cheated on my mom, and I got really mad
and brought up the termination and asked her why I
would support someone who doesn't love me and didn't want me.
(04:16):
I brought up all the things throughout my life that
felt big to me. My aunt basically told me that
it was a complicated situation when it came to me
and that I couldn't resent my mother for it. At
this point, my parents came up because we were yelling,
and I was then left alone in my room when
they got her to leave. It's been a few weeks
since then, and I'm staying with my dad. My mother
(04:39):
wants to talk to me, and I do not. I
feel especially pathetic in regards to my siblings. I feel
I've failed them. They really look up to me, and
I'm not with them to help them through this hard time,
and I've basically abandoned them. I feel pathetic crying about
all this when I should be trying to be proactive,
calling my siblings, texting them constantly, but instead I sit
(05:01):
there and cry. My sister also overheard my fight with
my aunt, and her, being aged, didn't understand half of
the things we thought about, but she looked it up
and now she thinks my mother tried to kill me,
and she won't take any explanation my mom and aunt
offer her. My sister is also distraught and thinks our
mother hates me and is trying to separate us. My
(05:23):
brother and me haven't really talked, but I think he's
taking it the best.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Out of all of us.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
According to my dad, my mom and aunt want to
explain to my sister that she did not try to
kill me, and that my mom does not hate me.
My dad does not want me to hate my mom.
He wants me to talk to her because he wants
me to have a relationship with her. In regards to
how I feel about it, I don't know how I
feel about the termination stuff. I don't see it as
(05:50):
her trying to kill me exactly. I do understand it
was a teen pregnancy and it's a complicated situation. I
think I more so care that she treated me so
terribly growing up. I don't think looking back on it all,
I can't hate her for the attempted determination. She was
a scared teenager. I think I just hate her for
treating me so differently and rather badly from my siblings
(06:12):
growing up, and I don't want to talk to her again.
As for my dad cheating, he was a piece of
crap for it, But when I look at him, I
can't bring myself truly to care. And I know that
makes me terrible, but I feel so conflicted. I love
my dad. He's been nothing but supportive to me in
the best way a father can, but I don't want
(06:33):
to talk to anyone. I've hardly spoken to any of
my extended family, hardly spoken to my siblings, and I
feel so lost but also right in this situation, but
also like a total a hole because my dad's a
scumbag for cheating, but he doesn't act like a scumbag,
and I'm supporting him even though he cheated. I'm sorry
for how long this was, Am I the ahle? I
(06:55):
need someone to give me the cold hard truth, ah
man OPI. I wish I could really give you a
hug and tell you that you're gonna be okay. I'm
so sorry that you're having to go through this whole mess.
None of this is your fault, none of it. You
are not the ahole. You are not to blame for
any of this, And to me, the bottom line here
(07:16):
is that you chose the parent that loved you. Yes,
your dad cheated on your mom, and he is a
scumbag for that. I don't know what his reasons were
for cheating. I don't know if it had to do
with you that he cheated, and if it did, of
course it doesn't justify it. But it truly has nothing
to do with you. You're a fifteen year old boy. You
(07:36):
shouldn't have to worry about any of this crap. You
should be pushing your boundaries, having fun with your friends,
going to school, having a crush, figuring out who you are.
That is as complicated as life should be for you
at this point, not this other crap. So no, OPI,
you're not the A hole again. You chose the parent
that loves you. And what do you guys think? Let
(07:58):
me know in the comment section and now that's check
out the community comments. Negative Bill thirty seven ninety two says,
not the a whole times one thousand. Your dad is
a safe person for you and nothing changes that. That's
completely okay. Your mom is not a safe person for you,
and you don't need to force.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yourself to overlook that.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Can you ask your dad to get your siblings back
in the house or at least visit with them all
as soon as possible. He should talk to an attorney.
That way, your siblings will see you and your dad
at your house and your mom separately, and you three
kids can be together at least some of the time
either way. Not the ahle, but your mom is the
adults here should facilitate the kids getting together. This isn't
(08:40):
your job. Jana's nineteen eighty one says, not the a whole.
No mother should ever say that to her child. You
should insist you go with your dad. Be physical with
your resistant to going with your mom if it comes
to it, go to where you feel love. Your dad
doesn't want you to hate your mom because he's being
a good man and try not to alienate you from her.
(09:02):
But he heard her say the same unforgivable thing you did.
Remind him of that. Going to your dad doesn't mean
abandoning your siblings. It means putting your well being first.
You know you would be miserable otherwise, and you can't
set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. It's
also important to understand that you are not approving of
(09:22):
your dad cheating by going with him. You are going
with the only parent who has shown you love your
whole life. All of this is a shock, but you've
known how your mom has felt for years. Don't let
her walk it all back now.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
What an awful woman.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
And Beneficial Sort forty seven ninety five says, not the
ehle you sided with the parent who has always loved
and treated you well versus the one that has othered
you your entire life. Makes total sense, and you have
every right to not want to see your mom right now.
You weren't third parent, and if she's missing anything right now,
it's likely your labor two kids is a lot, and
(09:59):
it's about time she found that out. She resented you
all your life while you loved her all of yours.
That's a hard thing to forgive, and it's best you
don't try right now. Talk to your dad about having
your siblings visit you at the house. I'm sure they
miss it and you, but also talk to him about
the affair. What exactly was his intention. Was this a
(10:21):
one time mistake on his part, or did he eventually
plan on moving this woman into the house. Because him
letting your siblings go makes sense because they're under age
and I assume he works.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It just seems odd.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Your mom gave up rights to the house by moving
out and intended to take all of you with her.
That was either to punish him or by his request.
You need to know which to plan accordingly, and Dopey responds,
she moved out because I don't know the logistics, but
it's either my family doesn't actually own the house and
we just live in it and my grandparents on dad's
(10:55):
side own it, or he owns half of property. Either way,
it's an inherited property from my great grandparents, and as
far as I know, my mom's name isn't on any
documents for it, so I think that means my grandparents
probably own it. A part of me believes I am
only a third parent to her, and another part wants
to believe that she misses me weirdly because like someone
(11:17):
else commented that maybe me laying it out to her
made her open her eyes. I don't really want to
know the logistics of this affair, but I'll definitely ask
if the woman will be moving in, because I don't
think i'll feel good about that. As for why she
expected to take all of us, I think in terms
of how close we are to the parents. I'm close
with my dad, my brother is extremely close to my mom,
(11:39):
and my sister is kind of caught in the middle.
I think it's also just typical, or at least from
what my friends have said, kids go with the mom
till custody arrangements are made.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Either way.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
A lot of people are saying to talk to my
father about moving forward, and I think I will thank
you for your advice. Well, the community agrees that will
be is not the ale and all the adults are a.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Holes in this story.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
So now let's move on to the update to see
how this story ends. I hardly slept last night and
I felt terrible at school, so my dad picked me
up and we went out to lunch. Then when we
got home, I finally had built up enough courage to
ask him questions about what was on my mind and
things brought up by people in my post. The conversation
(12:23):
was surprisingly productive and honest. You see, in my family,
we never really talked about hard things or feelings, but
basically me and my dad's conversation was like this. I
asked my dad about his affair partner and basically what
happened there. This was something I wanted to know but
also didn't, but still decided to ask in case she
(12:43):
would be moving in. My dad explained that his affair
went on for five months. He felt drained with my
mother and made a terrible decision. He said the affair
was discovered not from my mom going through his phone
or something, but him confessing as the more it went on,
the more scummy my dad. He felt like a terrible
father coming home to his kids after cheating on their mother.
(13:05):
As he put it, my dad says he is not
going to be talking to the woman anymore at all,
and plans on not dating or marrying anyone new until
me and my siblings are all adults. The next thing
I asked about I didn't really mention in the post,
but I wanted to know his part in my mom
trying to end the pregnancy and stuff. He said he
actually didn't know she was pregnant until about one or
(13:28):
two weeks before I was born. He also explained the
gist of what my mother told him. My dad doesn't
know the nitty greedy details, so everything I say here
is all. He also knows. My mom found out she
was pregnant at sixteen or seventeen years old and told
my aunt. They sort of panicked, but my aunt tried
taking my mother to get a termination, but my mom's
(13:50):
parents found out and did not allow my mother to
end the pregnancy. Even after that, my aunt still again
tried to help mom get the termination, but this second
attempt was found out, and after that, my mom's parents
sent my aunt to live with relatives until after my
mom gave birth.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
That's what happened.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
So I think that means I'm not technically a failed
termination just to prevent it one, but I don't think
it makes much of a difference though. On the brighter side,
my grandparents are going to take me and my siblings
out on the weekend to do some fun stuff to
take our minds of all the chaos. I am looking
forward to that, as I hope with my grandparents around,
(14:29):
I won't have to answer many questions, and of course
I get to see my siblings. I'm also feeling better.
Writing my feelings out, even for strangers on Reddit helped.
I did not broach the topic of therapy with my
father like many people suggested, but I am going to
write my mom a letter and start journaling despite what
many people said. I am going to have a conversation
(14:50):
with my mother after I give her my letter and
she reads and processes it. I don't know when that
will be, but soon probably. I want to thank everyone
who commented on the original. I don't think I even
read through app the comments, but almost all of them
I did had great advice. Many people told me to update,
so here it is.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Well itpit.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
It sounds like you're taking one day at a time,
which is a good thing. Also, journaling fantastic idea and
regardless of whatever relationship you want to have with your mother,
giving her that letter is also the right thing to do.
So here's wishing you the best to be. Thanks so
much for sharing, and take care and now let's finish
this video with a mood booster post. This post is
(15:32):
from the subreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user bad
Bitch hero Dodos Terrible manager collapses an entire department. I
worked in an accounting department at a small business. My boss,
Gary was great and gave us lots of autonomy to
get everything done. It was a small business, and over
the years, as is common in small businesses, I picked
(15:54):
up a number of duties that weren't strictly in my
job description but were pretty important. We also had a
number of processes that were not well documented, but we
were understaffed and not able to make any real changes.
Things overall were pretty good, though, and our work flowed
well and everyone was happy. Not everyone, though. Gary's boss, Carl,
(16:15):
recently had taken over as president of the company and
wanted to slash costs. Gary was one of the highest
paid employees, and Carl tried to get him to take
a pay cut or a cut in hours. When Gary refused,
Carl fired him and shortly replaced him with Matt, who
was much less experienced and much less qualified. Around this time,
I used my leverage with Carl to get a solid raise.
(16:38):
I knew Carl would be looking to replace me soon
like he did Gary, but I was too essential to
lose without Gary there either.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I figured I had.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
About six months, which lined up with about when I
was planning to move out of state anyway. So knowing
that when I did leave, my coworkers would be stuck
picking up this slack of my job, particularly all the
ancillary stuff I had picked up that was not documented
at all, I started writing a detail manual for my
own job when I had time here and there. I
(17:08):
didn't really care for Matt or Carl, but I figured
it would save my co workers a lot of stress.
Matt was a poor accountant and a worse manager. He
was an awful micro manager with no concept of the
bigger picture. Pretty quickly he noticed that I was spending
time doing all these other duties not in my job description.
He told me I was only to work on projects
(17:30):
he assigned me directly. I tried to point out all
the things that would not get done if I didn't
do that. He was having none of it and told
me not to worry about it as it wasn't my job.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Sure Thing, Boss.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I stopped doing everything except what he told me to do,
and the department started falling apart. Customer emails went unanswered,
software stopped working with no one to support it. Files
weren't organized, et cetera. I normally take care of these
and one hundreds of the things, but Matt was pretty
clear I'm not to do any of it. I also
(18:03):
stopped working on my manual. After a few months of this,
but sooner than I expected, I was laid off by
Carl and Matt for budgetary reasons. Of course, they listed
my job on indeed that same day for a laughably
low salary. I was given no warning, just sat down
for a meeting with the two of them and walked
out the door. Matt didn't allow me to take anything
(18:23):
from my desk, access my computer, or say my goodbyes
to my co workers. He was also very clear I
was not to retain any company documents or information.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Sure Thing Boss.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
So I left, and I heard from my co workers
still there that over the next few weeks, things took
an even worse nosedive. They weren't able to fill my job,
and nobody could cover most of my actual duties or
any of my ansidiary duties. By this point, vendors weren't
being paid and payroll wasn't going out on time. And
then I got the call. Matt found the file I
(18:57):
had left in a conspicuous spot on the network drive,
Underscore job manualinprocesses dot zip.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
It was encrypted. What's in it? Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Just a draft of all my job duties and everything
I was responsible for that I worked on during downtime.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Why was it even encrypted?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Well, I had a bunch of confidential data and passwords
in it.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Boss, what's the password? Sorry?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Boss, I don't know. I didn't retain it after leaving,
but it's in my files. In reality, since it wasn't finished,
the manual wasn't going to be some panacea for all
the company's problems. But I had padded it with a
lot of images, so I imagined the file size was pretty
attractive and the password was indeed in my files. If
(19:43):
Matt cared to look, he'd find an unlabeled sticky note
with a nondescript string of letters and numbers in a
random folder in one of my two dozen filing cabinets.
As an epilogue, about three months after I talked to Matt,
Carl fired him after discovering what a disaster the department
had become. My co workers both left around the same
(20:03):
time for better opportunities. Carl's still been unable to fill
any of these jobs after almost eighteen months. So the
entire accounting department is staffed by contractors and consultants who
I am sure are costing the company of fortune. I
hear the board is looking for a changing company presidents.
And there we go again, crappy management trying of course,
(20:25):
to cut costs and ruin in everything. I guess Carl's
tenure as a president is coming to an end. Thanks
so much for sharing, Opie. And that's it for today's video.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch it.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Now.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
If you've gotten to this point in the video, I
assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy.
And if you don't have any time to watch another
story right now.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Save it for later.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
And also, don't forget to hit that subscribe button,
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the Subredda dam I the a Hole,
and it's by user livid Society eighteen twenty eight. Am
I the a hole for siding with my dad in
my parents' divorce even though he cheated. I fifteen male,
am the oldest of three. My brother is the middle,
(00:24):
eleven male, and my sister is the youngest, eight female.
My family had always been kind of messy, and I
knew that from the beginning, but growing up I always
felt outcasted from my mother and her side of the family,
which is mostly just her sister since my Mom's not
clothes with her parents. I noticed this mostly as my
brother and sister got older. It was like night and day.
(00:48):
For example, at school, if I made some crappy painting,
my mom wouldn't even look at it. But I noticed
now with my brother, but more so my sister, anything
she makes is like it was touched by the hand
of God.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Itself, and it gets displayed everywhere.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
My aunt Mom's sister would never ask how my day
was or anything, hardly talk to me if I wanted
to tell her something, she didn't care. But with my
brother and sister. She's the warmest person, so nice, so kind,
so much fun, but never that with me. My mom
would sometimes not set a plate for me at the table,
(01:25):
and I had to get my own in a family
Christmas card one year she used to picture without me
in it. I used to hear my mom and dad
fight about this a lot, especially when I was younger.
My dad would always just ask her to try and
I think it's finally click for me now. I am
the reason for this divorce. Partly apart from the cheating,
(01:47):
my dad and his family were the opposite of this.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
They loved me.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I have a great relationship with my father. He's the
best father ever. About a few days before my parents
told us about the divorce, I got it a huge
fight with my mom and kind of my dad, but
he was just kind of there over unrelated things. But
during that I kind of asked her why she didn't
love me, and I think in a moment of anger,
(02:12):
she admitted she didn't want me and I was a
failed termination. I don't quite know what went wrong, but
in my state, terminations aren't legal, so I guess it
was her being young and not having a lot of
proper access or something. At that moment, my dad just
basically exploded on her and sent me to bed. I
(02:32):
think I shut down after this. I just remember being
pathetic and crying in my bed that night. I knew
I was a teen pregnancy, but I thought my mom
and dad pushed through that, and even though I was
a teen pregnancy, I thought they still loved me and
worked hard to pass high school and take care of me.
When my parents sat as down and informed me and
(02:54):
my siblings they were getting divorced, I felt numb to it.
My siblings were so distraught, but I felt well numb.
I still feel numb. My aunt was there and was
telling me and my siblings to get ready to leave
and that we were gonna go stay with.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
My mom for a while.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
In that moment, I got really upset because I did
not want to go live with a woman who wanted
to have me terminated and then proceeded to treat me
like crap throughout my life and clearly did not love me.
I didn't mention that initially, so I told my aunt,
mom and dad that I didn't want to leave the
house I grew up and to go stay at my
aunt's house with my mom.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
My mother just looks sad.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
But I walked out of the kitchen and to my
bedroom to go be alone. My aunt followed me and
wanted to talk to me. She seemed very upset with me.
She said that my siblings look up to me. That's
very true. I'm basically a third parent, and I need
to be there for my mother in this hard time.
I told her something like I don't want to be
there for that bitch, and my aunt got really mad
(03:55):
and told me I didn't understand and that my dad
cheated and I should support my mom. That's how I
learned he cheated. In that moment, I honestly didn't care
he cheated. Looking back, I think it was crap. My
dad cheated on my mom, and I got really mad
and brought up the termination and asked her why I
would support someone who doesn't love me and didn't want me.
(04:16):
I brought up all the things throughout my life that
felt big to me. My aunt basically told me that
it was a complicated situation when it came to me
and that I couldn't resent my mother for it. At
this point, my parents came up because we were yelling,
and I was then left alone in my room when
they got her to leave. It's been a few weeks
since then, and I'm staying with my dad. My mother
(04:39):
wants to talk to me, and I do not. I
feel especially pathetic in regards to my siblings. I feel
I've failed them. They really look up to me, and
I'm not with them to help them through this hard time,
and I've basically abandoned them. I feel pathetic crying about
all this when I should be trying to be proactive,
calling my siblings, texting them constantly, but instead I sit
(05:01):
there and cry. My sister also overheard my fight with
my aunt, and her, being aged, didn't understand half of
the things we thought about, but she looked it up
and now she thinks my mother tried to kill me,
and she won't take any explanation my mom and aunt
offer her. My sister is also distraught and thinks our
mother hates me and is trying to separate us. My
(05:23):
brother and me haven't really talked, but I think he's
taking it the best.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Out of all of us.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
According to my dad, my mom and aunt want to
explain to my sister that she did not try to
kill me, and that my mom does not hate me.
My dad does not want me to hate my mom.
He wants me to talk to her because he wants
me to have a relationship with her. In regards to
how I feel about it, I don't know how I
feel about the termination stuff. I don't see it as
(05:50):
her trying to kill me exactly. I do understand it
was a teen pregnancy and it's a complicated situation. I
think I more so care that she treated me so
terribly growing up. I don't think looking back on it all,
I can't hate her for the attempted determination. She was
a scared teenager. I think I just hate her for
treating me so differently and rather badly from my siblings
(06:12):
growing up, and I don't want to talk to her again.
As for my dad cheating, he was a piece of
crap for it, But when I look at him, I
can't bring myself truly to care. And I know that
makes me terrible, but I feel so conflicted. I love
my dad. He's been nothing but supportive to me in
the best way a father can, but I don't want
(06:33):
to talk to anyone. I've hardly spoken to any of
my extended family, hardly spoken to my siblings, and I
feel so lost but also right in this situation, but
also like a total a hole because my dad's a
scumbag for cheating, but he doesn't act like a scumbag,
and I'm supporting him even though he cheated. I'm sorry
for how long this was, Am I the ahle? I
(06:55):
need someone to give me the cold hard truth, ah
man OPI. I wish I could really give you a
hug and tell you that you're gonna be okay. I'm
so sorry that you're having to go through this whole mess.
None of this is your fault, none of it. You
are not the ahole. You are not to blame for
any of this, And to me, the bottom line here
(07:16):
is that you chose the parent that loved you. Yes,
your dad cheated on your mom, and he is a
scumbag for that. I don't know what his reasons were
for cheating. I don't know if it had to do
with you that he cheated, and if it did, of
course it doesn't justify it. But it truly has nothing
to do with you. You're a fifteen year old boy. You
(07:36):
shouldn't have to worry about any of this crap. You
should be pushing your boundaries, having fun with your friends,
going to school, having a crush, figuring out who you are.
That is as complicated as life should be for you
at this point, not this other crap. So no, OPI,
you're not the A hole again. You chose the parent
that loves you. And what do you guys think? Let
(07:58):
me know in the comment section and now that's check
out the community comments. Negative Bill thirty seven ninety two says,
not the a whole times one thousand. Your dad is
a safe person for you and nothing changes that. That's
completely okay. Your mom is not a safe person for you,
and you don't need to force.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yourself to overlook that.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Can you ask your dad to get your siblings back
in the house or at least visit with them all
as soon as possible. He should talk to an attorney.
That way, your siblings will see you and your dad
at your house and your mom separately, and you three
kids can be together at least some of the time
either way. Not the ahle, but your mom is the
adults here should facilitate the kids getting together. This isn't
(08:40):
your job. Jana's nineteen eighty one says, not the a whole.
No mother should ever say that to her child. You
should insist you go with your dad. Be physical with
your resistant to going with your mom if it comes
to it, go to where you feel love. Your dad
doesn't want you to hate your mom because he's being
a good man and try not to alienate you from her.
(09:02):
But he heard her say the same unforgivable thing you did.
Remind him of that. Going to your dad doesn't mean
abandoning your siblings. It means putting your well being first.
You know you would be miserable otherwise, and you can't
set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. It's
also important to understand that you are not approving of
(09:22):
your dad cheating by going with him. You are going
with the only parent who has shown you love your
whole life. All of this is a shock, but you've
known how your mom has felt for years. Don't let
her walk it all back now.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
What an awful woman.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
And Beneficial Sort forty seven ninety five says, not the
ehle you sided with the parent who has always loved
and treated you well versus the one that has othered
you your entire life. Makes total sense, and you have
every right to not want to see your mom right now.
You weren't third parent, and if she's missing anything right now,
it's likely your labor two kids is a lot, and
(09:59):
it's about time she found that out. She resented you
all your life while you loved her all of yours.
That's a hard thing to forgive, and it's best you
don't try right now. Talk to your dad about having
your siblings visit you at the house. I'm sure they
miss it and you, but also talk to him about
the affair. What exactly was his intention. Was this a
(10:21):
one time mistake on his part, or did he eventually
plan on moving this woman into the house. Because him
letting your siblings go makes sense because they're under age
and I assume he works.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It just seems odd.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Your mom gave up rights to the house by moving
out and intended to take all of you with her.
That was either to punish him or by his request.
You need to know which to plan accordingly, and Dopey responds,
she moved out because I don't know the logistics, but
it's either my family doesn't actually own the house and
we just live in it and my grandparents on dad's
(10:55):
side own it, or he owns half of property. Either way,
it's an inherited property from my great grandparents, and as
far as I know, my mom's name isn't on any
documents for it, so I think that means my grandparents
probably own it. A part of me believes I am
only a third parent to her, and another part wants
to believe that she misses me weirdly because like someone
(11:17):
else commented that maybe me laying it out to her
made her open her eyes. I don't really want to
know the logistics of this affair, but I'll definitely ask
if the woman will be moving in, because I don't
think i'll feel good about that. As for why she
expected to take all of us, I think in terms
of how close we are to the parents. I'm close
with my dad, my brother is extremely close to my mom,
(11:39):
and my sister is kind of caught in the middle.
I think it's also just typical, or at least from
what my friends have said, kids go with the mom
till custody arrangements are made.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Either way.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
A lot of people are saying to talk to my
father about moving forward, and I think I will thank
you for your advice. Well, the community agrees that will
be is not the ale and all the adults are a.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Holes in this story.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
So now let's move on to the update to see
how this story ends. I hardly slept last night and
I felt terrible at school, so my dad picked me
up and we went out to lunch. Then when we
got home, I finally had built up enough courage to
ask him questions about what was on my mind and
things brought up by people in my post. The conversation
(12:23):
was surprisingly productive and honest. You see, in my family,
we never really talked about hard things or feelings, but
basically me and my dad's conversation was like this. I
asked my dad about his affair partner and basically what
happened there. This was something I wanted to know but
also didn't, but still decided to ask in case she
(12:43):
would be moving in. My dad explained that his affair
went on for five months. He felt drained with my
mother and made a terrible decision. He said the affair
was discovered not from my mom going through his phone
or something, but him confessing as the more it went on,
the more scummy my dad. He felt like a terrible
father coming home to his kids after cheating on their mother.
(13:05):
As he put it, my dad says he is not
going to be talking to the woman anymore at all,
and plans on not dating or marrying anyone new until
me and my siblings are all adults. The next thing
I asked about I didn't really mention in the post,
but I wanted to know his part in my mom
trying to end the pregnancy and stuff. He said he
actually didn't know she was pregnant until about one or
(13:28):
two weeks before I was born. He also explained the
gist of what my mother told him. My dad doesn't
know the nitty greedy details, so everything I say here
is all. He also knows. My mom found out she
was pregnant at sixteen or seventeen years old and told
my aunt. They sort of panicked, but my aunt tried
taking my mother to get a termination, but my mom's
(13:50):
parents found out and did not allow my mother to
end the pregnancy. Even after that, my aunt still again
tried to help mom get the termination, but this second
attempt was found out, and after that, my mom's parents
sent my aunt to live with relatives until after my
mom gave birth.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
That's what happened.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
So I think that means I'm not technically a failed
termination just to prevent it one, but I don't think
it makes much of a difference though. On the brighter side,
my grandparents are going to take me and my siblings
out on the weekend to do some fun stuff to
take our minds of all the chaos. I am looking
forward to that, as I hope with my grandparents around,
(14:29):
I won't have to answer many questions, and of course
I get to see my siblings. I'm also feeling better.
Writing my feelings out, even for strangers on Reddit helped.
I did not broach the topic of therapy with my
father like many people suggested, but I am going to
write my mom a letter and start journaling despite what
many people said. I am going to have a conversation
(14:50):
with my mother after I give her my letter and
she reads and processes it. I don't know when that
will be, but soon probably. I want to thank everyone
who commented on the original. I don't think I even
read through app the comments, but almost all of them
I did had great advice. Many people told me to update,
so here it is.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Well itpit.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
It sounds like you're taking one day at a time,
which is a good thing. Also, journaling fantastic idea and
regardless of whatever relationship you want to have with your mother,
giving her that letter is also the right thing to do.
So here's wishing you the best to be. Thanks so
much for sharing, and take care and now let's finish
this video with a mood booster post. This post is
(15:32):
from the subreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user bad
Bitch hero Dodos Terrible manager collapses an entire department. I
worked in an accounting department at a small business. My boss,
Gary was great and gave us lots of autonomy to
get everything done. It was a small business, and over
the years, as is common in small businesses, I picked
(15:54):
up a number of duties that weren't strictly in my
job description but were pretty important. We also had a
number of processes that were not well documented, but we
were understaffed and not able to make any real changes.
Things overall were pretty good, though, and our work flowed
well and everyone was happy. Not everyone, though. Gary's boss, Carl,
(16:15):
recently had taken over as president of the company and
wanted to slash costs. Gary was one of the highest
paid employees, and Carl tried to get him to take
a pay cut or a cut in hours. When Gary refused,
Carl fired him and shortly replaced him with Matt, who
was much less experienced and much less qualified. Around this time,
I used my leverage with Carl to get a solid raise.
(16:38):
I knew Carl would be looking to replace me soon
like he did Gary, but I was too essential to
lose without Gary there either.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I figured I had.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
About six months, which lined up with about when I
was planning to move out of state anyway. So knowing
that when I did leave, my coworkers would be stuck
picking up this slack of my job, particularly all the
ancillary stuff I had picked up that was not documented
at all, I started writing a detail manual for my
own job when I had time here and there. I
(17:08):
didn't really care for Matt or Carl, but I figured
it would save my co workers a lot of stress.
Matt was a poor accountant and a worse manager. He
was an awful micro manager with no concept of the
bigger picture. Pretty quickly he noticed that I was spending
time doing all these other duties not in my job description.
He told me I was only to work on projects
(17:30):
he assigned me directly. I tried to point out all
the things that would not get done if I didn't
do that. He was having none of it and told
me not to worry about it as it wasn't my job.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Sure Thing, Boss.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I stopped doing everything except what he told me to do,
and the department started falling apart. Customer emails went unanswered,
software stopped working with no one to support it. Files
weren't organized, et cetera. I normally take care of these
and one hundreds of the things, but Matt was pretty
clear I'm not to do any of it. I also
(18:03):
stopped working on my manual. After a few months of this,
but sooner than I expected, I was laid off by
Carl and Matt for budgetary reasons. Of course, they listed
my job on indeed that same day for a laughably
low salary. I was given no warning, just sat down
for a meeting with the two of them and walked
out the door. Matt didn't allow me to take anything
(18:23):
from my desk, access my computer, or say my goodbyes
to my co workers. He was also very clear I
was not to retain any company documents or information.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Sure Thing Boss.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
So I left, and I heard from my co workers
still there that over the next few weeks, things took
an even worse nosedive. They weren't able to fill my job,
and nobody could cover most of my actual duties or
any of my ansidiary duties. By this point, vendors weren't
being paid and payroll wasn't going out on time. And
then I got the call. Matt found the file I
(18:57):
had left in a conspicuous spot on the network drive,
Underscore job manualinprocesses dot zip.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
It was encrypted. What's in it? Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Just a draft of all my job duties and everything
I was responsible for that I worked on during downtime.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Why was it even encrypted?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Well, I had a bunch of confidential data and passwords
in it.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Boss, what's the password? Sorry?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Boss, I don't know. I didn't retain it after leaving,
but it's in my files. In reality, since it wasn't finished,
the manual wasn't going to be some panacea for all
the company's problems. But I had padded it with a
lot of images, so I imagined the file size was pretty
attractive and the password was indeed in my files. If
(19:43):
Matt cared to look, he'd find an unlabeled sticky note
with a nondescript string of letters and numbers in a
random folder in one of my two dozen filing cabinets.
As an epilogue, about three months after I talked to Matt,
Carl fired him after discovering what a disaster the department
had become. My co workers both left around the same
(20:03):
time for better opportunities. Carl's still been unable to fill
any of these jobs after almost eighteen months. So the
entire accounting department is staffed by contractors and consultants who
I am sure are costing the company of fortune. I
hear the board is looking for a changing company presidents.
And there we go again, crappy management trying of course,
(20:25):
to cut costs and ruin in everything. I guess Carl's
tenure as a president is coming to an end. Thanks
so much for sharing, Opie. And that's it for today's video.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch it.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Now.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
If you've gotten to this point in the video, I
assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy.
And if you don't have any time to watch another
story right now.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Save it for later.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
And also, don't forget to hit that subscribe button,
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