August 13, 2025 • 21 mins
Reddit Relationship Stories - OP's mom's new boyfriend intentionally excluded OP and his oldest sibling from all family gatherings and told him he considers him his mother's past. OP confronted him, and things got heated, but Mom did nothing.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to lost genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded Amighty a Whole and
it's by user any Anybody? Am I the a hole
for telling my mom's boyfriend his kids will never be family.
Roughly more than a year ago, my mother introduced me
to her boyfriend. Since then, me and my three siblings
(00:26):
have been introduced to his three kids, and our families
have been merged. Though we still live in separate homes.
His family is over our house all the time, but
it's very obvious he is purposely leaving me and my
older sibling out of the family plans. Last year, during Thanksgiving,
I was informed three days before that all of his kids,
(00:49):
including his adult child and my two younger siblings, along
with my mother, we're going to meet our grandparents six
states over. Me and my older sibling were whiplashed as
we didn't have enough time to pull together funds or
time off to join them. We brought this up to
our mom and she simply said she guesses we can
(01:10):
join them next time, and she thought we knew. That
left me and my sibling alone for a week during Thanksgiving,
in which we each just ended up going to a
family member's house who we don't see often. We were
both very hurt by this incident and brought to each
other's attention how many family trips they had, whether it's
a weekend thing or not, without inviting us or telling
(01:32):
us Until the day of. We've kept our mouth shut
until now, but since Christmas is coming around, we are
getting nervous. They were going to do the same thing.
Thankfully they didn't, but we were told to be sure
to get his kids' gifts as they are now our siblings.
Having to get gifts for three people who we aren't
(01:55):
even close to really sucked, But my sibling didn't die
begrudgingly did so. I don't remember how it got brought
up today, but I found out his kids weren't getting
any of my siblings' gifts, not even the adult despite
them all having jobs. This really pissed me off, and
I ended up lashing out at both of them, specifically
(02:17):
my mother's boyfriend. I told him that I don't care
about him or his kids, but if he wants to
play family, he's not playing that father act well at all.
He retorted with he doesn't need to share his life
with adult kids and to him were just our moms passed.
I'll admit I got nasty after this, telling him his
(02:38):
kids are baggage enough and my mother doesn't need any
more kids and I'll never look at his spoiled, rotten
brats as family. This seemed to really hurt my mom,
and she started crying. Her boyfriend screamed at me to leave,
so I did. I'm staying at a friend's right now,
but I'm wondering if I went too far. I don't
(02:58):
give an f if I was the abe to the boyfriend.
I already know that part. But was I an a
hole to my mom in this way too? I just
don't want her to forget that she has two kids
who still see her as their mother, and she can't
just forget they exist because her boyfriend won't acknowledge us. OHP,
If I was in your shoes, I'd be hurt and
angry too. I don't think you're the a hole. You
(03:20):
just got to a point where you couldn't hold it
in anymore, and you told your mom's boyfriend and your
mom how neglected you and your other older sibling feel.
I mean, when you got left out of Thanksgiving, your
mom basically told you well, tough luck. Maybe you could
join us next year. That sucks and her not standing
up for her kids when the boyfriend was treating you
guys this way, that's not right. She should have said
(03:42):
something other than just you know, maybe next year. Now,
even though I understand your frustration, maybe this way wasn't
the best way to get your point across. Maybe you
need to sit down with your mom and tell her
how you guys feel left out? And what do you
guys think? Let me know in the comment section, and
now let's check out the community comments. No Philosopher eighteen
(04:03):
seventy says, not the ahole. The boyfriend seems to be
looking at you as more of a childcare and extra
food for his kids than someone with whom he wants
to have an actual, relatively equal relationship. People who exclude
you are fools to think that you will include them.
I wouldn't give gifts to his children. A sad observation
that I have long made about my family is that
(04:24):
the presence that I brought mattered a lot more to
them than my presence. So I stopped going years ago.
If the toll to attend is bringing his children gifts,
you can do without that gathering, it sounds like boyfriend
did a hostile takeover of your family rather than a merger.
It's said that your mother chose her boyfriend over you.
(04:44):
Get out when you can. Natural Garbage seventy six. Seventy
four says, not the ahle. Your mom's boyfriend called you
your mom's past. He is intentionally leaving you out and
leaving you behind, but your mom is letting him. You
need to have a serious conversation with your mother. You
may be adults, but you are still her children. If
(05:05):
she doesn't want to be your family anymore, if her
future is her boyfriend, his kids, and your younger siblings,
then she needs to face the harm she's causing. If
she wants to pick her boyfriend and his kids, then
make her admit that she's doing it. Make her face
her own behavior. She doesn't get to abandon you, turn
on the waterworks and pretend she's the victim. She doesn't
(05:27):
get to be a good person. The standard you walk
past is the standard you accept, and tree Chemistry Please says,
I get that you feel excluded and left behind, and
that really sucks. I also get that the exception that
you have to get his kid's presence, but his kids
will not be giving gifts to your mom's other children.
(05:47):
Is a really crappy deal. I'm going with not the ahole. Honestly,
he called you your mother's past as if you are
second class citizens in his eyes, and so you told
him his kids were the same. In your opinion, your
mother is probably feeling torn between appeasing her new boyfriend
and standing up for her older kids. She's allowing this
(06:08):
guy to scream at you and put you out of
her house, so she's not doing the parental protection you deserve.
I hope she's not abusive to your mom, or that
she's not desperate for love or affection that she will
turn a blind eye to how much of a prick
her boyfriend is. Ope, he's edited more info. I am
twenty and the older sibling sister is seventeen. I only
(06:30):
said older because they are older than my two younger
siblings who are under the ages of ten. His adult
son older than me gets to join in the family
trips and such. Can't really say that's spoiled, just me
being a jerk. And I'll admit the boyfriend is good
to my siblings, but still will favor his kids first.
There have been multiple instances where he takes his two
(06:52):
younger kids out shopping two little things, just them calling
at dad time, and leave my siblings out. His kids,
despite being multiple years older than my two youngest siblings,
have no problem bragging to my siblings about how much
fun they have. I find this spoiled behavior and do
not like them, which is unfair of me. I get that,
(07:12):
so I agree that I am also being an a
hole to the kids too. Also, I pay half the
rent and have the household expenses in the house with
my mother, and without me, we wouldn't be housed. I
think everyone knows how expensive it is to live on
your own right now, let alone with three kids excluding myself.
I think he's aware I pay a portion of the bills,
(07:34):
but how much I don't know, and I personally don't
think it's any of his business. I will be going
back home and understand he can't kick me out of
a place. My name is on the leson, but I
am trying to cool myself down. The community agrees that
willp is not the a hole, that he needs to
talk to his mom, and considering he pays half, they
can't kick him out, So let's move on to the
(07:56):
update to see how this story ends. I came home
pretty early this morning to have a talk with my
mom when her boyfriend left. I took a lot of
your advice and told her how leaving me and my
sibling out is not blending the family in any manner,
and how I feel like my own home is being
invaded despite my contributing significantly. According to my mom, her
(08:18):
boyfriend didn't end up spending the night due to them
having their own fight. My mother made it very clear
that she was pretty ignorant to everything we felt, whether
it was on purpose or not, but she started crying
last night, not only from what I said, but everything
her boyfriend had said as well. A big part of
(08:39):
their talk after I left was discussing me and my sibling.
She didn't tell me everything they said, but they will
be taking time away from each other for a little while,
as my mom agreed that at some point he can't
just leave me and my siblings out. But she also
feels I was rejecting him and his kids early on,
along with my siblings. This was the reason why she
(09:01):
didn't invite us to a lot of things because she
didn't want to put us in a uncomfortable situations. This
led to me bringing up the fact that I pay
half the rent and I would prefer from now on
they go over to his house in the future, and
how I need to see respect from him and his
kids and not treat me like a ghost in a
house I contribute towards. She understood and said that she
(09:24):
herself won't be seeing him for a while. This then
ended with her sobbing again that at some point I
will be getting married and the kids need a father.
Our dad died roughly six years ago due to terminal illness.
At this point, my parents were already separated, but since
then my mom has really only had flings, nothing serious,
(09:45):
and the older I get, the more she fears I'll
leave her in the dust and she will have no
one to help her with my siblings or the future.
I know a lot of people said this, but I
thought maybe you guys were just assuming, But I guess
she was feeling like she needed to secure herself. Similarly,
his kid's mom has been dead a little less than
four years for a similar reason. Though I don't know
(10:08):
all the details, my mother said multiple times that she
can't expect me to live with her forever and take
care of her at the drop of a dime, and
how she has been wanting a full time companion for
a long time for stability but also for companionship. By
this point, she had to leave for work and we
decided to put a pin in the conversation. I don't
(10:30):
think I'll be updating much further than this. I thank
everyone for their advice and the consideration they gave to
my post. I still feel like an a hole, but
I do feel a little less crappy setting the boundaries
I did consider. Over half of you said I should
have done it sooner. Thank you. I appreciate it Wellopy.
It's good to know that you had an open heart
conversation with your mom and you settled some things. Hopefully
(10:52):
your mom does find that companion and he's a good guy.
In the meantime, Take care of p and thanks for sharing.
And now let's move on to the next post that
also has an update. This post is from the subredded
Amighty a Hole, and it's by user dress designer Drama.
Am I the a hole for not designing my cousin's
wedding dress even though I've designed everyone else's longtime lurker,
(11:16):
first time poster, and sorry for mistakes. English is not
my native tongue. So I twenty nine female, have designed
all the wedding dresses for my cousin's siblings and aunts
for the past decade. When my eldest sister, thirty five female,
got engaged at twenty four, she asked me to design
her dress since I'm passionate about design and she always
(11:38):
loved my style. Her dress was a knockout. Everyone loved it,
and ever since, when every one of our relatives announces
their engagement, they ask if I can design their dress
for them. I've always said yes because I absolutely loved
doing it. It's just so much fun. Onto the issue.
My cousin twenty three female, is getting married in ten months.
(12:01):
She called me up to see when we could meet
so she could share her ideas for her dress and
I can start designing it. I do not like this
cousin at all. Her parents spoiled her beyond rotten. I
decided to still meet with her, though, and see if
anything has changed since she's now an adult. She immediately
shows me photos of wedding dresses by Sarah Burton and
(12:24):
tells me she wants something exactly like the pictures. I
try to suggest a change in neckline or color, and
she shuts it down and tell me she wants exactly that.
I told her I would not be making her dress,
as I love designing clothes that embody their wearer and
suit them, not rip off other designers so she can
look fancy in a knockoff. Some of my family, and
(12:47):
specially her and her parents, are beyond upset and have
been blowing up my phone because I've broken tradition and
my baby cousin's heart because she's been looking forward to
having me make her wedding dress for years now. Feel
kind of bad, but at the same time, she's taken
the fun and bonding out of designing a wedding dress.
No will be here, Definitely not the Ahle. If your
(13:08):
cousin wants a dress that looks exactly like one she's
got a picture of from some magazine, then she can
take it to a seamstress and then get it done there. Right,
It's just a waste of time for you to design
something that looks exactly like what she already has a
picture of now, unless she wants an original design for
you like you said, then sure, but at this point
she's already spoiled the whole activity for you anyways, So no,
(13:32):
not the ahle. And what do you guys think? Let
me know in the comments section, and now let's check
out the community comments. Do I want to know? Sixty
four seventeen says if your cousin wants a specific dress,
she should just buy the specific dress. The tradition was
for you to design the dresses and sharing these moments
of creation with your family members. Of course, her and
(13:53):
her parents are upset. The sort of dress she once
costs a lot of money, having you do it is
much cheaper. I think it's time you broke with the tradition,
not the A whole Mopper three hundred says, not the ahole.
You can just say I'm a designer. I designed custom,
one of a kind dresses based on the personality of
the wearer. I do not create copies or knockoffs of
(14:15):
other designers' hard work. She wanted me to create a
cheap copy. That's not what I do, and frankly, it
was insulting of her to even ask me to make
a copy. If she wants to get together with me
and we can come up with something unique in the
custom for her, I'd be happy too. And the Riker
maneuver says, designing wedding dresses for my family members has
(14:36):
been a passion project of mine for a long time.
But what I am not is a ripof artist. Cousin
wants me to knock off a designer dress to help
or save money. That is not what I do, and
also it's a legal gray area. I will absolutely help
cousin take design elements from multiple dresses to help create
something unique in the custom. That is what I have
done for the other women in this family, but I
(14:58):
draw the line at ripping off other designers. There are
plenty of seamstresses around that can knock off the dress
exactly the way cousin wants, but that is not what
I do. I do custom. Cousin can have a custom
dress made by me, but that is not what she wants,
and as such I cannot help her. Not the a whole.
(15:19):
The community agrees that'llpee is not the a whole, And
I'm thinking that I misunderstood what she said. I thought
she just meant the design. I didn't know that she
also made the dresses. Either way, the cousin's way out
of line on this one. So now let's move on
to the update to see how this story ends. So
the good news is I managed to set most of
my family straight on what happened, and they apologized and
(15:42):
a few aunts even sent me chocolate and wine as
a proper apology for all the stress I was dealing with.
I decided to meet with my cousin again just to
see if she had changed her mind, and if not,
I decided to record the conversation to send it to
a few of the people who couldn't believe my cousin
would lie to them. As expected, she was still insisting
(16:03):
that I copy the other dress design. I still refused
and told her if she wasn't going to budge on this,
then I'm leaving. As I started grabbing my stuff, she
said fine and asked if I would let her have
my dress. I was stunned. She started going off that
it's her big day and she deserves to look like
a princess, and if she can't have that Sarah Burton dress,
(16:23):
then the least I could do was let her use
my dress, since it was never used and it just
sits in my closet. Collecting dust. I left and went
home to relax and honestly cry after just what happened.
As expected, a few members of the family texted me again,
upset that I won't let her use my dress for background.
I was engaged back in twenty eighteen, but called off
(16:45):
the wedding in twenty nineteen for personal reasons I will
not discuss. I designed the dress myself and sewed it,
but my grandmother added all of the little details on it.
I'm talking Indian style, wire, threatened, rhinestone everything. I couldn't
bring myself to get rid of the dress, but I
also knew I'd never feel comfortable wearing it again. After
(17:06):
the engagement ended. My grandma sadly passed away shortly after
due to COVID. I did end up gifting the dress
to my friend for Christmas. We supported each other during
our dark times, and she finally remarried earlier this year,
so she wore the dress to her reception. Back to
the actual story, my cousin apparently told our family that
I was being unfair and that since I didn't feel
(17:29):
like designing a dress for her, she asked if she
could use mine just for the ceremony. She said she
wanted this so it would feel like she had Grandma
there with her, and I told her no. I sent
the recording I had to everyone who texted me, and
they were shocked. Most apologized, but a few who I've
decided to blog still thought I should let her have
(17:50):
it since I would never wear the dress. When they
found out that I gifted it to someone else, they
were even more upset since, according to them, I clearly
wasn't attached to it since I gave it away. They
say that it would have meant more to my cousin
than to my friend who didn't even know Grandma. Like
most people suggested, I did go no contact with this
(18:10):
cousin after this. Wellope, at least you cleared everything up
with the people who actually like you and love you.
And the others, well, good riddance, take Europe, and thanks
for sharing. And now let's finish this video with a
mood booster post. This post is from the subreddit malicious Compliance,
and it's by Uzi Torri Denali. When coffee is so
(18:32):
important many moons ago. I worked for a building management
company in downtown Minneapolis. Part of the position included handling
all the park spot rentals. Prior to when these would
have been on a simple computer screen, they were folders,
thousands of them, updated manually with who paid what, who's
checked it, and clear blah blah blah. I worked for
(18:54):
an Eastern New Jersey dude named Frank, who was a
narcissistic jerk on his nice days and it absent heinous
individual on his bad days. He's thirsty for coffee. One day,
shortly after I returned from lunch, so he picks up
his cup and taps it on his desk, annoying, I
know Tory coffee. I am on my way to the
(19:15):
back room with about two feet of files, so I
call out, I'll be right with you, Frank. I take
two steps, and he retaps Tory coffee. I woke back
the seven steps to his office to show him my
heavy load, thinking he might not have heard me. I'll
be right with you, Frank. I turn and take one
step out of his office. Dory three loud bangs on
(19:38):
the desk. Coffee. Now. I turned back into his office,
pull my arms out from under the files and drop
about three hundred folders of data. Contents fly everywhere. I
step over the pile, grab his cup, coming right up,
I said, as sweetly as possible. After filling his cup
and dumping about a half a cup of sugar in it,
(19:58):
I brought the syrup coop back to him and slammed
it on his desk, sickly sweet black coffee, spilling on
his appointment calendar, his white shirt and blue tie, and
across his leather chair. While he was sputtering, I walked
back to my desk, made a quick phone call to
my lunch appointment, and accepted the job they had offered
(20:18):
me that I was deliberating. I was working for the
new company. Twenty two minutes later. I ran into one
of my former co workers a few months later, and
she told me he had already been through four others
in the position. Apparently nobody wants to get coffee for
jerks anymore. Well, it be not much to say, but
good for you. Thanks for sharing. And that's it for
(20:41):
today's video. Thank you so much for taking the time
to watch it. Now. If you've gotten to this point
in the video, I assume that you like these stories
that I'm reading out, so here are a couple more
that you might enjoy. And if you don't have any
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and also don't forget to hit that subscribe button.
Hi everybody, and welcome back to lost genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded Amighty a Whole and
it's by user any Anybody? Am I the a hole
for telling my mom's boyfriend his kids will never be family.
Roughly more than a year ago, my mother introduced me
to her boyfriend. Since then, me and my three siblings
(00:26):
have been introduced to his three kids, and our families
have been merged. Though we still live in separate homes.
His family is over our house all the time, but
it's very obvious he is purposely leaving me and my
older sibling out of the family plans. Last year, during Thanksgiving,
I was informed three days before that all of his kids,
(00:49):
including his adult child and my two younger siblings, along
with my mother, we're going to meet our grandparents six
states over. Me and my older sibling were whiplashed as
we didn't have enough time to pull together funds or
time off to join them. We brought this up to
our mom and she simply said she guesses we can
(01:10):
join them next time, and she thought we knew. That
left me and my sibling alone for a week during Thanksgiving,
in which we each just ended up going to a
family member's house who we don't see often. We were
both very hurt by this incident and brought to each
other's attention how many family trips they had, whether it's
a weekend thing or not, without inviting us or telling
(01:32):
us Until the day of. We've kept our mouth shut
until now, but since Christmas is coming around, we are
getting nervous. They were going to do the same thing.
Thankfully they didn't, but we were told to be sure
to get his kids' gifts as they are now our siblings.
Having to get gifts for three people who we aren't
(01:55):
even close to really sucked, But my sibling didn't die
begrudgingly did so. I don't remember how it got brought
up today, but I found out his kids weren't getting
any of my siblings' gifts, not even the adult despite
them all having jobs. This really pissed me off, and
I ended up lashing out at both of them, specifically
(02:17):
my mother's boyfriend. I told him that I don't care
about him or his kids, but if he wants to
play family, he's not playing that father act well at all.
He retorted with he doesn't need to share his life
with adult kids and to him were just our moms passed.
I'll admit I got nasty after this, telling him his
(02:38):
kids are baggage enough and my mother doesn't need any
more kids and I'll never look at his spoiled, rotten
brats as family. This seemed to really hurt my mom,
and she started crying. Her boyfriend screamed at me to leave,
so I did. I'm staying at a friend's right now,
but I'm wondering if I went too far. I don't
(02:58):
give an f if I was the abe to the boyfriend.
I already know that part. But was I an a
hole to my mom in this way too? I just
don't want her to forget that she has two kids
who still see her as their mother, and she can't
just forget they exist because her boyfriend won't acknowledge us. OHP,
If I was in your shoes, I'd be hurt and
angry too. I don't think you're the a hole. You
(03:20):
just got to a point where you couldn't hold it
in anymore, and you told your mom's boyfriend and your
mom how neglected you and your other older sibling feel.
I mean, when you got left out of Thanksgiving, your
mom basically told you well, tough luck. Maybe you could
join us next year. That sucks and her not standing
up for her kids when the boyfriend was treating you
guys this way, that's not right. She should have said
(03:42):
something other than just you know, maybe next year. Now,
even though I understand your frustration, maybe this way wasn't
the best way to get your point across. Maybe you
need to sit down with your mom and tell her
how you guys feel left out? And what do you
guys think? Let me know in the comment section, and
now let's check out the community comments. No Philosopher eighteen
(04:03):
seventy says, not the ahole. The boyfriend seems to be
looking at you as more of a childcare and extra
food for his kids than someone with whom he wants
to have an actual, relatively equal relationship. People who exclude
you are fools to think that you will include them.
I wouldn't give gifts to his children. A sad observation
that I have long made about my family is that
(04:24):
the presence that I brought mattered a lot more to
them than my presence. So I stopped going years ago.
If the toll to attend is bringing his children gifts,
you can do without that gathering, it sounds like boyfriend
did a hostile takeover of your family rather than a merger.
It's said that your mother chose her boyfriend over you.
(04:44):
Get out when you can. Natural Garbage seventy six. Seventy
four says, not the ahle. Your mom's boyfriend called you
your mom's past. He is intentionally leaving you out and
leaving you behind, but your mom is letting him. You
need to have a serious conversation with your mother. You
may be adults, but you are still her children. If
(05:05):
she doesn't want to be your family anymore, if her
future is her boyfriend, his kids, and your younger siblings,
then she needs to face the harm she's causing. If
she wants to pick her boyfriend and his kids, then
make her admit that she's doing it. Make her face
her own behavior. She doesn't get to abandon you, turn
on the waterworks and pretend she's the victim. She doesn't
(05:27):
get to be a good person. The standard you walk
past is the standard you accept, and tree Chemistry Please says,
I get that you feel excluded and left behind, and
that really sucks. I also get that the exception that
you have to get his kid's presence, but his kids
will not be giving gifts to your mom's other children.
(05:47):
Is a really crappy deal. I'm going with not the ahole. Honestly,
he called you your mother's past as if you are
second class citizens in his eyes, and so you told
him his kids were the same. In your opinion, your
mother is probably feeling torn between appeasing her new boyfriend
and standing up for her older kids. She's allowing this
(06:08):
guy to scream at you and put you out of
her house, so she's not doing the parental protection you deserve.
I hope she's not abusive to your mom, or that
she's not desperate for love or affection that she will
turn a blind eye to how much of a prick
her boyfriend is. Ope, he's edited more info. I am
twenty and the older sibling sister is seventeen. I only
(06:30):
said older because they are older than my two younger
siblings who are under the ages of ten. His adult
son older than me gets to join in the family
trips and such. Can't really say that's spoiled, just me
being a jerk. And I'll admit the boyfriend is good
to my siblings, but still will favor his kids first.
There have been multiple instances where he takes his two
(06:52):
younger kids out shopping two little things, just them calling
at dad time, and leave my siblings out. His kids,
despite being multiple years older than my two youngest siblings,
have no problem bragging to my siblings about how much
fun they have. I find this spoiled behavior and do
not like them, which is unfair of me. I get that,
(07:12):
so I agree that I am also being an a
hole to the kids too. Also, I pay half the
rent and have the household expenses in the house with
my mother, and without me, we wouldn't be housed. I
think everyone knows how expensive it is to live on
your own right now, let alone with three kids excluding myself.
I think he's aware I pay a portion of the bills,
(07:34):
but how much I don't know, and I personally don't
think it's any of his business. I will be going
back home and understand he can't kick me out of
a place. My name is on the leson, but I
am trying to cool myself down. The community agrees that
willp is not the a hole, that he needs to
talk to his mom, and considering he pays half, they
can't kick him out, So let's move on to the
(07:56):
update to see how this story ends. I came home
pretty early this morning to have a talk with my
mom when her boyfriend left. I took a lot of
your advice and told her how leaving me and my
sibling out is not blending the family in any manner,
and how I feel like my own home is being
invaded despite my contributing significantly. According to my mom, her
(08:18):
boyfriend didn't end up spending the night due to them
having their own fight. My mother made it very clear
that she was pretty ignorant to everything we felt, whether
it was on purpose or not, but she started crying
last night, not only from what I said, but everything
her boyfriend had said as well. A big part of
(08:39):
their talk after I left was discussing me and my sibling.
She didn't tell me everything they said, but they will
be taking time away from each other for a little while,
as my mom agreed that at some point he can't
just leave me and my siblings out. But she also
feels I was rejecting him and his kids early on,
along with my siblings. This was the reason why she
(09:01):
didn't invite us to a lot of things because she
didn't want to put us in a uncomfortable situations. This
led to me bringing up the fact that I pay
half the rent and I would prefer from now on
they go over to his house in the future, and
how I need to see respect from him and his
kids and not treat me like a ghost in a
house I contribute towards. She understood and said that she
(09:24):
herself won't be seeing him for a while. This then
ended with her sobbing again that at some point I
will be getting married and the kids need a father.
Our dad died roughly six years ago due to terminal illness.
At this point, my parents were already separated, but since
then my mom has really only had flings, nothing serious,
(09:45):
and the older I get, the more she fears I'll
leave her in the dust and she will have no
one to help her with my siblings or the future.
I know a lot of people said this, but I
thought maybe you guys were just assuming, But I guess
she was feeling like she needed to secure herself. Similarly,
his kid's mom has been dead a little less than
four years for a similar reason. Though I don't know
(10:08):
all the details, my mother said multiple times that she
can't expect me to live with her forever and take
care of her at the drop of a dime, and
how she has been wanting a full time companion for
a long time for stability but also for companionship. By
this point, she had to leave for work and we
decided to put a pin in the conversation. I don't
(10:30):
think I'll be updating much further than this. I thank
everyone for their advice and the consideration they gave to
my post. I still feel like an a hole, but
I do feel a little less crappy setting the boundaries
I did consider. Over half of you said I should
have done it sooner. Thank you. I appreciate it Wellopy.
It's good to know that you had an open heart
conversation with your mom and you settled some things. Hopefully
(10:52):
your mom does find that companion and he's a good guy.
In the meantime, Take care of p and thanks for sharing.
And now let's move on to the next post that
also has an update. This post is from the subredded
Amighty a Hole, and it's by user dress designer Drama.
Am I the a hole for not designing my cousin's
wedding dress even though I've designed everyone else's longtime lurker,
(11:16):
first time poster, and sorry for mistakes. English is not
my native tongue. So I twenty nine female, have designed
all the wedding dresses for my cousin's siblings and aunts
for the past decade. When my eldest sister, thirty five female,
got engaged at twenty four, she asked me to design
her dress since I'm passionate about design and she always
(11:38):
loved my style. Her dress was a knockout. Everyone loved it,
and ever since, when every one of our relatives announces
their engagement, they ask if I can design their dress
for them. I've always said yes because I absolutely loved
doing it. It's just so much fun. Onto the issue.
My cousin twenty three female, is getting married in ten months.
(12:01):
She called me up to see when we could meet
so she could share her ideas for her dress and
I can start designing it. I do not like this
cousin at all. Her parents spoiled her beyond rotten. I
decided to still meet with her, though, and see if
anything has changed since she's now an adult. She immediately
shows me photos of wedding dresses by Sarah Burton and
(12:24):
tells me she wants something exactly like the pictures. I
try to suggest a change in neckline or color, and
she shuts it down and tell me she wants exactly that.
I told her I would not be making her dress,
as I love designing clothes that embody their wearer and
suit them, not rip off other designers so she can
look fancy in a knockoff. Some of my family, and
(12:47):
specially her and her parents, are beyond upset and have
been blowing up my phone because I've broken tradition and
my baby cousin's heart because she's been looking forward to
having me make her wedding dress for years now. Feel
kind of bad, but at the same time, she's taken
the fun and bonding out of designing a wedding dress.
No will be here, Definitely not the Ahle. If your
(13:08):
cousin wants a dress that looks exactly like one she's
got a picture of from some magazine, then she can
take it to a seamstress and then get it done there. Right,
It's just a waste of time for you to design
something that looks exactly like what she already has a
picture of now, unless she wants an original design for
you like you said, then sure, but at this point
she's already spoiled the whole activity for you anyways, So no,
(13:32):
not the ahle. And what do you guys think? Let
me know in the comments section, and now let's check
out the community comments. Do I want to know? Sixty
four seventeen says if your cousin wants a specific dress,
she should just buy the specific dress. The tradition was
for you to design the dresses and sharing these moments
of creation with your family members. Of course, her and
(13:53):
her parents are upset. The sort of dress she once
costs a lot of money, having you do it is
much cheaper. I think it's time you broke with the tradition,
not the A whole Mopper three hundred says, not the ahole.
You can just say I'm a designer. I designed custom,
one of a kind dresses based on the personality of
the wearer. I do not create copies or knockoffs of
(14:15):
other designers' hard work. She wanted me to create a
cheap copy. That's not what I do, and frankly, it
was insulting of her to even ask me to make
a copy. If she wants to get together with me
and we can come up with something unique in the
custom for her, I'd be happy too. And the Riker
maneuver says, designing wedding dresses for my family members has
(14:36):
been a passion project of mine for a long time.
But what I am not is a ripof artist. Cousin
wants me to knock off a designer dress to help
or save money. That is not what I do, and
also it's a legal gray area. I will absolutely help
cousin take design elements from multiple dresses to help create
something unique in the custom. That is what I have
done for the other women in this family, but I
(14:58):
draw the line at ripping off other designers. There are
plenty of seamstresses around that can knock off the dress
exactly the way cousin wants, but that is not what
I do. I do custom. Cousin can have a custom
dress made by me, but that is not what she wants,
and as such I cannot help her. Not the a whole.
(15:19):
The community agrees that'llpee is not the a whole, And
I'm thinking that I misunderstood what she said. I thought
she just meant the design. I didn't know that she
also made the dresses. Either way, the cousin's way out
of line on this one. So now let's move on
to the update to see how this story ends. So
the good news is I managed to set most of
my family straight on what happened, and they apologized and
(15:42):
a few aunts even sent me chocolate and wine as
a proper apology for all the stress I was dealing with.
I decided to meet with my cousin again just to
see if she had changed her mind, and if not,
I decided to record the conversation to send it to
a few of the people who couldn't believe my cousin
would lie to them. As expected, she was still insisting
(16:03):
that I copy the other dress design. I still refused
and told her if she wasn't going to budge on this,
then I'm leaving. As I started grabbing my stuff, she
said fine and asked if I would let her have
my dress. I was stunned. She started going off that
it's her big day and she deserves to look like
a princess, and if she can't have that Sarah Burton dress,
(16:23):
then the least I could do was let her use
my dress, since it was never used and it just
sits in my closet. Collecting dust. I left and went
home to relax and honestly cry after just what happened.
As expected, a few members of the family texted me again,
upset that I won't let her use my dress for background.
I was engaged back in twenty eighteen, but called off
(16:45):
the wedding in twenty nineteen for personal reasons I will
not discuss. I designed the dress myself and sewed it,
but my grandmother added all of the little details on it.
I'm talking Indian style, wire, threatened, rhinestone everything. I couldn't
bring myself to get rid of the dress, but I
also knew I'd never feel comfortable wearing it again. After
(17:06):
the engagement ended. My grandma sadly passed away shortly after
due to COVID. I did end up gifting the dress
to my friend for Christmas. We supported each other during
our dark times, and she finally remarried earlier this year,
so she wore the dress to her reception. Back to
the actual story, my cousin apparently told our family that
I was being unfair and that since I didn't feel
(17:29):
like designing a dress for her, she asked if she
could use mine just for the ceremony. She said she
wanted this so it would feel like she had Grandma
there with her, and I told her no. I sent
the recording I had to everyone who texted me, and
they were shocked. Most apologized, but a few who I've
decided to blog still thought I should let her have
(17:50):
it since I would never wear the dress. When they
found out that I gifted it to someone else, they
were even more upset since, according to them, I clearly
wasn't attached to it since I gave it away. They
say that it would have meant more to my cousin
than to my friend who didn't even know Grandma. Like
most people suggested, I did go no contact with this
(18:10):
cousin after this. Wellope, at least you cleared everything up
with the people who actually like you and love you.
And the others, well, good riddance, take Europe, and thanks
for sharing. And now let's finish this video with a
mood booster post. This post is from the subreddit malicious Compliance,
and it's by Uzi Torri Denali. When coffee is so
(18:32):
important many moons ago. I worked for a building management
company in downtown Minneapolis. Part of the position included handling
all the park spot rentals. Prior to when these would
have been on a simple computer screen, they were folders,
thousands of them, updated manually with who paid what, who's
checked it, and clear blah blah blah. I worked for
(18:54):
an Eastern New Jersey dude named Frank, who was a
narcissistic jerk on his nice days and it absent heinous
individual on his bad days. He's thirsty for coffee. One day,
shortly after I returned from lunch, so he picks up
his cup and taps it on his desk, annoying, I
know Tory coffee. I am on my way to the
(19:15):
back room with about two feet of files, so I
call out, I'll be right with you, Frank. I take
two steps, and he retaps Tory coffee. I woke back
the seven steps to his office to show him my
heavy load, thinking he might not have heard me. I'll
be right with you, Frank. I turn and take one
step out of his office. Dory three loud bangs on
(19:38):
the desk. Coffee. Now. I turned back into his office,
pull my arms out from under the files and drop
about three hundred folders of data. Contents fly everywhere. I
step over the pile, grab his cup, coming right up,
I said, as sweetly as possible. After filling his cup
and dumping about a half a cup of sugar in it,
(19:58):
I brought the syrup coop back to him and slammed
it on his desk, sickly sweet black coffee, spilling on
his appointment calendar, his white shirt and blue tie, and
across his leather chair. While he was sputtering, I walked
back to my desk, made a quick phone call to
my lunch appointment, and accepted the job they had offered
(20:18):
me that I was deliberating. I was working for the
new company. Twenty two minutes later. I ran into one
of my former co workers a few months later, and
she told me he had already been through four others
in the position. Apparently nobody wants to get coffee for
jerks anymore. Well, it be not much to say, but
good for you. Thanks for sharing. And that's it for
(20:41):
today's video. Thank you so much for taking the time
to watch it. Now. If you've gotten to this point
in the video, I assume that you like these stories
that I'm reading out, so here are a couple more
that you might enjoy. And if you don't have any
time to watch another story right now, save it for later,
and also don't forget to hit that subscribe button.
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