October 3, 2025 • 23 mins
Relationship Stories - OP’s best friend rejected him for years but kept sending mixed signals. When he finally moved on with someone else, she exploded, accused him of betrayal, and spiraled into chaotic outbursts despite repeatedly saying she didn’t want him.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded. Am I the A whole?
Would I be the ahole? Public? And it's by user
Hungry Sprinkles one ninety three. Am I the A hole
for moving on with my ex after my best friend
told me she didn't want me. I twenty four male,
have been friends with Chloe twenty three female for five years.
(00:26):
She's always been there for me, so when she planned
to visit me a few months ago, I was excited
to finally hang out. Before the trip, she admitted she'd
had feelings for me for three years. We ended up
hooking up while she was here. By the end of
the visit, I'd told her I had real feelings and
wanted to see if something could come from it. She
(00:47):
told me no, she just wanted to stay friends. I
was hurt, but I respected it. A month later, she
came back, saying she couldn't hide it anymore and wanted
to try. We started talking, but it never be came
a relationship. She was going through family drama, lost her job,
bouncing between couches. I even asked if being with me
(01:08):
was too much for her right now, and she agreed
it was better to stay friends, so I let it
go again. I had even planned a trip to fly
out and see her for my birthday to see if
she was serious, but she canceled on me twice. Meanwhile,
she was chatting with her old flayings, which I didn't
care about since she told me we were just friends.
(01:30):
Not long after my ex twenty two female reached out,
we'd ended on okay terms, so we started talking. I
told her I wanted to take things slow out of respect,
I told Chloe. Immediately, she got mad, ghosted me, then
came back, still sending flirty messages. At one point, after
saying she didn't want a relationship, she texted that I
(01:54):
miss you in your bed. So I moved forward with
my ex. When I mentioned spending time with my eggs
and her family, Chloe exploded. She accused me of leading
her on, said I was choosing someone else over her,
then cut me off. The next day, she was reposting
tiktoks like when he makes you cry like this and
(02:16):
mant ain't crap. The thing is, I never lied, never
hit anything. I asked her multiple times to clarify what
she wanted, and she told me twice she didn't want
a relationship. I respected her decision every time. She's the
one who flip flopped, canceled trips, flirted after telling me no,
and then got mad when I moved on. So am
(02:37):
I the ahole for moving on after she made it
clear she didn't want me. No, opiev, I don't think
you're the ahole. As you said, she rejected you twice.
She made it clear to you that she didn't want
a relationship. But she keeps doing this other crap that
nobody really has any time for, which is why I
don't understand that part where you say, out of respect
for Chloe you told her about you moving on with
(02:58):
your eggs or going out with her and her family
and all that. Why why do you feel the obligation
to keep her updated on what you do. That's where
I think you're wrong. But the good thing is that
you've moved on from Chloe, at least that's what you
tell us, and hopefully it stays that way. You will
be because unless you haven't seen it yet, Chloe clearly
doesn't really care much about you, and she just wants
(03:20):
you to hang around in her orbit. Because I don't know,
maybe you make her feel good about herself, which is
of course very selfish. But she doesn't really want to
be with you. So I think it's time to put
Chloe in the rear view mirror. Stop talking to her,
and stop talking about her. What do you guys think?
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
check out the community comments. Neighborhood No. Sixteen twenty three says,
(03:43):
not the ahle. Chloe wants you to chase her, but
we'll never want you and never did. You are only
there to boost her ego, so she knows a poor
sucker will always be chasing her and be alone. Stop
caring about Chloe because she does not care for you.
Move on with your eggs, but also tell and show
your eggs about the flirty messages in case she tries
(04:04):
anything to break you two up. Then please honey block
Chloe everywhere. This is not a friend song Murderer says,
this is why you don't have friends. You both sound like
you are all over the place. She came to see me,
We slept together. She didn't want me, she did want me.
I was gonna go see her twice, but she canceled.
She was communicating with her exes. Then all of a sudden,
(04:27):
I went back with my ex and now she is pissed.
You are both a holes. You should have stuck together
because you could drive each other crazy. Spool thirty two says,
not the ahle my guy. She tried to play you,
and you treated her like a respectable friend. You were
a normal, decent dude, and the manipulation didn't work, so
(04:47):
she flipped when you moved on. People often get mad
when their games don't work on well adjusted, ethical people.
Don't sweat it. You did nothing. I would sadly let
this weird friendship fade away. She'll only show up to
create chaos and try to win. And Opie responds, Yeah,
that hits hard because I really did value the friendship.
(05:09):
But I guess all I did was give a room
to play games. Far Butterfly sixty two fourteen says, sounds
like Chloe left around and found out. I'm sorry, but
why are you even still talking to this girl? What
does she bring to your life other than drama, mixed signals, manipulation,
and stupid games. Keeping in contact with her is only
(05:30):
going to result in issues between you and your ex
or current partner. Let Chloe be dramatic all over someone
else and move on and beneficial sort forty seven ninety
five says not the aho, Chloe wants you as a
backup in case she can't find any better. Her reaction
is basically, how dare you not sit around and wait
(05:52):
for me to decide if I want you or not?
Chloe is drama. Focus where you're at and with who
you're with, and stop trying to eat even be friends
with this messy girl. She needs drama and you shouldn't
let her use you to make it. Additional information from
OPI's comments. Looking back, The thing that really hit me
is how Chloe only ever seemed interested once I stopped chasing.
(06:15):
The second I started moving on, suddenly there'd be some
interest again. It felt less like she actually wanted me
and more like I was just a safety in need
she didn't want to lose, and just to clear up
the timeline. When my ex first reached out, it was
literally just small talk. I didn't let it go anywhere
beyond that until Chloe had told me twice that she
(06:38):
didn't want a relationship. It wasn't until I knew for
sure that door was closed that I decided to see
if something could work again with my ex. I've been
open about that with both of them. Since then, I've
stepped away from Chloe completely. I don't want to talk
to her anymore and don't plan to. My focus now
is on my relationship and on It's been going really well.
(07:02):
My ex and I agreed to take things low this time,
and that's made a big difference. I'll admit I held
on longer than I should have. I missed a lot
of red flags because I wanted to believe her when
she said she had feelings, But the truth is she
just wanted the attention without any of the commitment. Once
I finally accepted that, it made moving on a lot easier.
(07:24):
The community agrees that Chloe doesn't sound like a true
friend to Opie, and that's the right thing to just
let her go. So let's move on to the update
to see how this story ends. So. I didn't expect
my original post to blow up the way it did,
but thank you to everyone who commented. It actually helped
me put a lot in perspective. A lot of you
said Chloe just wanted attention and to keep me as
(07:46):
a backup, And after this week, I can't even argue
with that. Here's what went down a few days ago.
I'm on my lunch break, literally driving to culvers when
Chloe calls me out of nowhere. I let it go
to voicemail, against my better judgment. I called back and
asked if she meant too. She said no, she was
(08:06):
actually trying to call another friend whose name is right
next to mine. I said, no problem. She wished me
a good day, and that was that, except it wasn't.
About an hour later, she calls again. I ignore it,
text another accident. She doesn't answer, but then calls me again.
This time I picked up. She tells me, I don't
(08:28):
like this game. I know I probably hurt your feelings.
I'm not mad at you, just the situation. I said, yeah,
I was rt. She threw away a five year friendship
over a mess she created and strung me through. She
said she understood that hung up because her mom was calling.
Not even five minutes later, she texts me says she
(08:48):
can't call again, but context then drops this bomb. When
I said I loved you, it wasn't in a friend way.
I reminded her that I told her multiple times I
had feelings too, and she's the one who wanted things
back to normal and later told me a relationship was
too much. I laid it out. She rejected me twice,
(09:10):
honestly three times if you count. When I asked straight
up if we were just friends and she said yes
about a month and a half ago. Her reply, I
bet you have a whole new girl and never even
liked me in the first place. Not true at the time,
and I did have feelings for her truly, So I asked,
how can she be mad at me for moving on
when I was literally doing what she asked me to do.
(09:32):
I told her, if anything, we should have kept it
at a friendship level to avoid all the mixed signals.
She fires back, I don't want to be friends. I
asked why she reached out at all. Her answer, because
I didn't know if you would ever give it a chance.
So I spelled it out clearly. I did give it
a chance. Multiple times. She said no, thrice, told me
(09:56):
she didn't want a relationship, twice canceled trips I planned
to see her. At that point, I had no choice
but to move on. I told him my decision is final.
I've moved on, and I wished her the best. She
replied please no, But I stood firm, told her I
respect her, I wish her well, but I'm not going back.
(10:17):
So yeah, this confirmed everything you guys warned me about.
She wanted me as an option, not a choice, and
the second I stopped playing along, she couldn't handle it. Honestly,
looking back, the biggest thing I've realized is just how
much peace I lost by keeping Chloe in my life.
Locking her doesn't even feel petty anymore. It feels like
(10:38):
actual self care. If I'm being blunt, I was basically
her stand in boyfriend whenever life got rough, loyal, patient,
always there, but never actually given the relationship she dangled
in front of me. At times, it felt like I
was her emotional support animal more than a real partner
or even a respected friend. It's a hard pill to swallow,
(10:59):
but I guess this This was the lesson I needed.
My twenties are apparently just a crash course and learning
to spot red flags the hard way, and I can
tell you now I've got no interest in a round two.
This was a one way ticket out of her drama,
and I don't plan on ever. Looking back, standing firm
wasn't easy. Part of me wanting to band to keep
(11:19):
the piece, but choosing myself this time around was honestly
the best decision I've made in a long time. Good
for UOP, just cut out the toxic and move on.
Absolutely agree with you. It is the best decision you
could have made. So here's wishing you the best in
the future. Op, thanks so much for sharing and to
take care. And now let's move on to the next
(11:41):
post that also has an update. This post is from
the subredded am I the A hole? And it's by
user pasted entrepreneur seven to eight five to two, am
I the A hole? If I blow up my dad's
secret relationship by telling my step mom. So this whole
thing is spiraled over the past month and I'm still
kind of shit, but I'll try to keep it short ish.
(12:02):
Before Father's Day, I talked to my dad and he
said he was going off roading with my sister's fiance.
Last minute, he canceled and said he pulled a calf
muscle and would be staying home. Weird since he usually
pushes through pain for the sake of doing fun things,
but okay. Around the same time, my stepmam and her
sister told me they would be out of town for
(12:22):
the weekend and to show my dad lots of love
while they were gone, and that they felt bad they
had to leave him alone that weekend and stuff. I
didn't go see him long story, but I don't have
a close relationship with him. I sent a happy Father's
Day text and left it there. Turns out my brother
did go over. He called my dad beforehand, and when
(12:43):
he got there, my dad had made a pasta dinner
for two. There was a woman there over a decade
younger than him, who he has never seen. My dad
said she was a very old friend from work, that
they've known each other forever. But we've literally never seen
him with a platonic feel in our lives, not once.
(13:04):
Whenever he's around women, it's either his partner or his
friend's wives, partner's friends, et cetera, and he rarely talks
to them. Fast forward. I text on the fourth of
July saying happy fourth, and he says he's out of
state at a family friend's house, sort of a house
of someone I'm much closer to than he is. He
doesn't even like them, So I wonder to myself, what's up?
(13:26):
But I don't think too deep about it. I brushed
it off, but it gets weirder. My sister calls me
A couple of weeks later. My dad had called her
and told her he was going to a campsite three
hours away just to take pictures and sit in nature.
I cannot emphasize enough how much this is not his
vibe at all. He said he was going alone, then
(13:48):
complained about his wife being boring and never going anywhere
with him. My sister kept repeating, well, be safe out
there alone, until he finally admitted he wasn't going alone.
He was going with an old friend, but didn't want
to tell his wife because it was a woman. Then
right before this trip, he calls and asks me to
watch a labradoodle that belongs to a friend. I just
(14:11):
know it's the same woman's dog too. I ask if
the dog is good with other dogs and birds, and
he casually drops that they brought the dog with them
to that friend's house for the Fourth of July, which
his wife does not know about. He explicitly told my
sister that he went alone as well. I agreed to
watch the dog because I wanted to meet her. See
(14:32):
if I just forgot someone from the past or something
and get a sense if this is a really big deal,
they show up today. I have never met this woman.
She's probably fifteen years younger than my dad, and when
I ask, so, where are you headed, she freezes and
just says, just have some things to do. Liar. I'm pissed.
(14:55):
I also texted a mutual friend who was at the
property on the fourth. They confirmed my dad brought this
woman and said she was awkward, claimed they were just
friends even though no one asked, and that my dad
told him not to tell anyone she was there. So
I now know that my dad brought this woman on
two solo trips, had her over for dinner on Father's
(15:15):
Day while his wife was out of town, introduced her
to people while saying don't tell, and she's actively lying
about where she's going. Now. I'm ninety nine percent sure
my stepmom doesn't know any of this. She's so sweet,
and she and my dad are supposed to move out
into a new home in less than a month. I
have had conversations with her, and she always says she
(15:38):
never worries about my dad cheating, he's not that guy,
that they are just so good together, and that's the
last thing she worries about. She says she likes not
worrying because she does it like the person she becomes
when she has to worry. This has been keeping me
up at night because I know in my heart I
would have already told if it were anyone else. But
(15:59):
I have this tugg in feeling that since it's my parents,
it's not my place. Would I be the a hole
if I told her? I'm scared he's going to blow
up on me. He's sort of the agro narcissistic type,
and I'm just really nervous if you told, would you
go straight to her and lay it all out or
would you try to be more discreet in helping her
discover the truth? Thanks in advance. This is all really
(16:20):
stressing me out. Will it be in the way that
you present the facts? It definitely does sound like your
dad is having an affair, and I do believe your
step mom has the right to know. I'm sure if
you were in her situation, you'd like to know too,
regardless of who the messenger was. And if your dad
calls you to bereate your flips out on you, then
just hang up on him or close the door in
(16:40):
his face. He cheated and it's never justified, so no Opie,
you wouldn't be the aqal. It's the right thing to do.
Tell her, and what do you guys think? Let me
know in the comments section, and now let's check out
the community comments. Clear Headed zero one says, tell her
sounds like your dad is cheating, so tell her and
let her handle it herself. Not the ahole if you
(17:01):
tell her. Agreeable Region three ten says, tell her your
dad's odd behavior. You don't actually know if he's cheating,
and that is up to the step mom to figure
it out. If she asks you for additional information, only
tell her what you actually know when you answer her
specific questions. One Rainbow Unicorn says, not the ahole. I
(17:22):
can't believe you watched that woman's dog. Stepmother needs to know.
You may need to block your father because she sounds
like an abusive piece of crap. Get a cheap ring
cam in case he comes to your home to blow up,
don't answer the door, and if he gets out of control,
called cops. Well, the community was clear and concise. Not
the ahole. If she tells, and she should do so.
(17:42):
So let's move on to the update to see how
this story ends. I did it. I went over to
my stepmom's house while my dad was out of town
and told her everything I know. She was totally blindsided.
She was angry, she was absolutely shattered. She was shaking
and said she never saw this coming. She told me
things had actually been going better lately. My dad had
(18:03):
taken her out on a date just the day before
and was being unusually affectionate and sweet. She really thought
they were in a good place before I told her anything.
She was cheerfully chatting and brought up that shrimp pasta
your dad makes my sister and I just froze. That's
what he made for the other woman. We both felt sick.
(18:24):
She was so happy and welcoming and excited to have
us there. It was heartbreaking. She mentioned that usually he
invites her and her sister to church every weekend, and
he had randomly stopped doing that over the past month.
He also stopped inviting other family members who usually goes
to Apparently, she actually wanted to go on this recent
(18:45):
trip with him, but he told her he had to
take a certain road that she hates because of how
he drives on it, said it would be dangerous, so
she stayed behind. They'd had a location sharing app for years,
mostly just in case of emergencies. She rarely checks it
unless she needs to see if he's near a store
or something. But after I talked to her, she decided
(19:05):
to look. That's when everything started to click for her.
He hadn't gone to work at all that day. He
drove to a nearby town, eight at a takedia for hours,
then checked into an inn. We later found out that
her sister overheard him booking that room, and he specifically
asked for a king bed instead of two queens. She
(19:25):
didn't think any of it at the time, since he
normally books kings for work travel. My stepmom texted him
while he was still at the restaurant, pretending like she
had figured out a way to make the drive after all.
Then she said something like, you're not answering because your
girlfriend is with you, huh, and finally told him to
pack a bag and get out. He never replied. He
(19:47):
didn't call. He just went on with his night and
stayed at the hotel with the other woman. The next morning,
he finally called. At first he denied anyone was with him,
Then he admitted someone was, but claimed it was just
a friend. He told my step mom this was her
fault for never going anywhere with him. When she pointed
out that she knew it wasn't a work trip. He
(20:07):
first denied that too, then backtracked and said, yeah, you're right,
it's not work, but it's not what you think. She's
just a friend. She told him to come back a
bag and leave. He insisted on coming home to talk
it out. I really hope she sticks to her guns
and it doesn't let him spin this into anything but
what it is. As for me, I still have the labradoodle.
(20:28):
After telling her, I texted my dad and said, I
just outed you to your wife. I hope this was
a misunderstanding. What the f is going on? Call me back.
It's been over fifteen hours, no call, no text, nothing.
I sent that message because I didn't want my siblings
to take the blame or be put in a position
where he tries to guilt them. My step mom had
(20:50):
already let him know she knew, but I wanted him
to hear it from me that I was the one
who said something. Every time my phone rings, I get
nervous it's going to be him, But I feel better
having gotten it off my chest. I do think I
did the right thing. One thing I'm specifically glad about.
I stopped my step mom from moving into a new
house with him. When I got to her place to talk,
(21:11):
she was literally packing. That crushed me. Thankfully, she'll be
staying in the home she already shares with her sister instead.
That said, my partner thinks I should have given my
dad a warning first, something like tell her or I will.
He believes it would have hurt less coming from him,
and maybe it would have. It probably did hit harder
coming from me. With all the details. I know some
(21:33):
family members are going to have mixed feelings about how
I handle this, but I stand by it. Opie, again,
I think you are right in telling her. She is
going to feel the pain regardless of who tells her.
So good for you for doing the right thing. Here's
switching you the best, Ope, Thanks so much for sharing
and to take care. And now let's finish this video
with a quick mood booster post. This post is from
(21:57):
the sepreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user It is
something added in my contract to restrict me. Was something
I later used to help me when I first joined
a particular company, they had a number of offices in
the nearby city. Because they wanted to essentially force us
to work in whichever office they wanted, they added a
line in my contract saying that I could work anywhere
(22:19):
in the city. Years later and those offices have gone.
There's just the one that clause is removed from contracts
for anyone else starting at the company. Then our department
gets outsourced to another company. As part of UK law,
which makes transfer of people between companies easier, they have
to take my contract as is, which they did. They
(22:41):
then decided to relocate many of the people to other
parts of their company throughout the country, expecting you to
commute sometimes hours away. Except me, that part of my
contract still present meant that they could only send me
somewhere in the local city, and they had no while
the office is there, so I stayed. Years later, I'm
(23:04):
insourced back and the company tries to send me to
the other side of the country for a few days
to work. I tap on my contract once again. There's
something refreshing about being able to use a contract clause
initially added to force me to do something for them
against the company. Wellp he sounds like that clause turned
out to be a blessing in disguise. Thanks so much
(23:26):
for sharing, Opie. And that's it for today's video. Thank
you so much for taking the time to watch it now.
If you've gotten to this point in the video, I
assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy.
And if you don't have any time to watch another
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Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded. Am I the A whole?
Would I be the ahole? Public? And it's by user
Hungry Sprinkles one ninety three. Am I the A hole
for moving on with my ex after my best friend
told me she didn't want me. I twenty four male,
have been friends with Chloe twenty three female for five years.
(00:26):
She's always been there for me, so when she planned
to visit me a few months ago, I was excited
to finally hang out. Before the trip, she admitted she'd
had feelings for me for three years. We ended up
hooking up while she was here. By the end of
the visit, I'd told her I had real feelings and
wanted to see if something could come from it. She
(00:47):
told me no, she just wanted to stay friends. I
was hurt, but I respected it. A month later, she
came back, saying she couldn't hide it anymore and wanted
to try. We started talking, but it never be came
a relationship. She was going through family drama, lost her job,
bouncing between couches. I even asked if being with me
(01:08):
was too much for her right now, and she agreed
it was better to stay friends, so I let it
go again. I had even planned a trip to fly
out and see her for my birthday to see if
she was serious, but she canceled on me twice. Meanwhile,
she was chatting with her old flayings, which I didn't
care about since she told me we were just friends.
(01:30):
Not long after my ex twenty two female reached out,
we'd ended on okay terms, so we started talking. I
told her I wanted to take things slow out of respect,
I told Chloe. Immediately, she got mad, ghosted me, then
came back, still sending flirty messages. At one point, after
saying she didn't want a relationship, she texted that I
(01:54):
miss you in your bed. So I moved forward with
my ex. When I mentioned spending time with my eggs
and her family, Chloe exploded. She accused me of leading
her on, said I was choosing someone else over her,
then cut me off. The next day, she was reposting
tiktoks like when he makes you cry like this and
(02:16):
mant ain't crap. The thing is, I never lied, never
hit anything. I asked her multiple times to clarify what
she wanted, and she told me twice she didn't want
a relationship. I respected her decision every time. She's the
one who flip flopped, canceled trips, flirted after telling me no,
and then got mad when I moved on. So am
(02:37):
I the ahole for moving on after she made it
clear she didn't want me. No, opiev, I don't think
you're the ahole. As you said, she rejected you twice.
She made it clear to you that she didn't want
a relationship. But she keeps doing this other crap that
nobody really has any time for, which is why I
don't understand that part where you say, out of respect
for Chloe you told her about you moving on with
(02:58):
your eggs or going out with her and her family
and all that. Why why do you feel the obligation
to keep her updated on what you do. That's where
I think you're wrong. But the good thing is that
you've moved on from Chloe, at least that's what you
tell us, and hopefully it stays that way. You will
be because unless you haven't seen it yet, Chloe clearly
doesn't really care much about you, and she just wants
(03:20):
you to hang around in her orbit. Because I don't know,
maybe you make her feel good about herself, which is
of course very selfish. But she doesn't really want to
be with you. So I think it's time to put
Chloe in the rear view mirror. Stop talking to her,
and stop talking about her. What do you guys think?
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
check out the community comments. Neighborhood No. Sixteen twenty three says,
(03:43):
not the ahle. Chloe wants you to chase her, but
we'll never want you and never did. You are only
there to boost her ego, so she knows a poor
sucker will always be chasing her and be alone. Stop
caring about Chloe because she does not care for you.
Move on with your eggs, but also tell and show
your eggs about the flirty messages in case she tries
(04:04):
anything to break you two up. Then please honey block
Chloe everywhere. This is not a friend song Murderer says,
this is why you don't have friends. You both sound like
you are all over the place. She came to see me,
We slept together. She didn't want me, she did want me.
I was gonna go see her twice, but she canceled.
She was communicating with her exes. Then all of a sudden,
(04:27):
I went back with my ex and now she is pissed.
You are both a holes. You should have stuck together
because you could drive each other crazy. Spool thirty two says,
not the ahle my guy. She tried to play you,
and you treated her like a respectable friend. You were
a normal, decent dude, and the manipulation didn't work, so
(04:47):
she flipped when you moved on. People often get mad
when their games don't work on well adjusted, ethical people.
Don't sweat it. You did nothing. I would sadly let
this weird friendship fade away. She'll only show up to
create chaos and try to win. And Opie responds, Yeah,
that hits hard because I really did value the friendship.
(05:09):
But I guess all I did was give a room
to play games. Far Butterfly sixty two fourteen says, sounds
like Chloe left around and found out. I'm sorry, but
why are you even still talking to this girl? What
does she bring to your life other than drama, mixed signals, manipulation,
and stupid games. Keeping in contact with her is only
(05:30):
going to result in issues between you and your ex
or current partner. Let Chloe be dramatic all over someone
else and move on and beneficial sort forty seven ninety
five says not the aho, Chloe wants you as a
backup in case she can't find any better. Her reaction
is basically, how dare you not sit around and wait
(05:52):
for me to decide if I want you or not?
Chloe is drama. Focus where you're at and with who
you're with, and stop trying to eat even be friends
with this messy girl. She needs drama and you shouldn't
let her use you to make it. Additional information from
OPI's comments. Looking back, The thing that really hit me
is how Chloe only ever seemed interested once I stopped chasing.
(06:15):
The second I started moving on, suddenly there'd be some
interest again. It felt less like she actually wanted me
and more like I was just a safety in need
she didn't want to lose, and just to clear up
the timeline. When my ex first reached out, it was
literally just small talk. I didn't let it go anywhere
beyond that until Chloe had told me twice that she
(06:38):
didn't want a relationship. It wasn't until I knew for
sure that door was closed that I decided to see
if something could work again with my ex. I've been
open about that with both of them. Since then, I've
stepped away from Chloe completely. I don't want to talk
to her anymore and don't plan to. My focus now
is on my relationship and on It's been going really well.
(07:02):
My ex and I agreed to take things low this time,
and that's made a big difference. I'll admit I held
on longer than I should have. I missed a lot
of red flags because I wanted to believe her when
she said she had feelings, But the truth is she
just wanted the attention without any of the commitment. Once
I finally accepted that, it made moving on a lot easier.
(07:24):
The community agrees that Chloe doesn't sound like a true
friend to Opie, and that's the right thing to just
let her go. So let's move on to the update
to see how this story ends. So. I didn't expect
my original post to blow up the way it did,
but thank you to everyone who commented. It actually helped
me put a lot in perspective. A lot of you
said Chloe just wanted attention and to keep me as
(07:46):
a backup, And after this week, I can't even argue
with that. Here's what went down a few days ago.
I'm on my lunch break, literally driving to culvers when
Chloe calls me out of nowhere. I let it go
to voicemail, against my better judgment. I called back and
asked if she meant too. She said no, she was
(08:06):
actually trying to call another friend whose name is right
next to mine. I said, no problem. She wished me
a good day, and that was that, except it wasn't.
About an hour later, she calls again. I ignore it,
text another accident. She doesn't answer, but then calls me again.
This time I picked up. She tells me, I don't
(08:28):
like this game. I know I probably hurt your feelings.
I'm not mad at you, just the situation. I said, yeah,
I was rt. She threw away a five year friendship
over a mess she created and strung me through. She
said she understood that hung up because her mom was calling.
Not even five minutes later, she texts me says she
(08:48):
can't call again, but context then drops this bomb. When
I said I loved you, it wasn't in a friend way.
I reminded her that I told her multiple times I
had feelings too, and she's the one who wanted things
back to normal and later told me a relationship was
too much. I laid it out. She rejected me twice,
(09:10):
honestly three times if you count. When I asked straight
up if we were just friends and she said yes
about a month and a half ago. Her reply, I
bet you have a whole new girl and never even
liked me in the first place. Not true at the time,
and I did have feelings for her truly, So I asked,
how can she be mad at me for moving on
when I was literally doing what she asked me to do.
(09:32):
I told her, if anything, we should have kept it
at a friendship level to avoid all the mixed signals.
She fires back, I don't want to be friends. I
asked why she reached out at all. Her answer, because
I didn't know if you would ever give it a chance.
So I spelled it out clearly. I did give it
a chance. Multiple times. She said no, thrice, told me
(09:56):
she didn't want a relationship, twice canceled trips I planned
to see her. At that point, I had no choice
but to move on. I told him my decision is final.
I've moved on, and I wished her the best. She
replied please no, But I stood firm, told her I
respect her, I wish her well, but I'm not going back.
(10:17):
So yeah, this confirmed everything you guys warned me about.
She wanted me as an option, not a choice, and
the second I stopped playing along, she couldn't handle it. Honestly,
looking back, the biggest thing I've realized is just how
much peace I lost by keeping Chloe in my life.
Locking her doesn't even feel petty anymore. It feels like
(10:38):
actual self care. If I'm being blunt, I was basically
her stand in boyfriend whenever life got rough, loyal, patient,
always there, but never actually given the relationship she dangled
in front of me. At times, it felt like I
was her emotional support animal more than a real partner
or even a respected friend. It's a hard pill to swallow,
(10:59):
but I guess this This was the lesson I needed.
My twenties are apparently just a crash course and learning
to spot red flags the hard way, and I can
tell you now I've got no interest in a round two.
This was a one way ticket out of her drama,
and I don't plan on ever. Looking back, standing firm
wasn't easy. Part of me wanting to band to keep
(11:19):
the piece, but choosing myself this time around was honestly
the best decision I've made in a long time. Good
for UOP, just cut out the toxic and move on.
Absolutely agree with you. It is the best decision you
could have made. So here's wishing you the best in
the future. Op, thanks so much for sharing and to
take care. And now let's move on to the next
(11:41):
post that also has an update. This post is from
the subredded am I the A hole? And it's by
user pasted entrepreneur seven to eight five to two, am
I the A hole? If I blow up my dad's
secret relationship by telling my step mom. So this whole
thing is spiraled over the past month and I'm still
kind of shit, but I'll try to keep it short ish.
(12:02):
Before Father's Day, I talked to my dad and he
said he was going off roading with my sister's fiance.
Last minute, he canceled and said he pulled a calf
muscle and would be staying home. Weird since he usually
pushes through pain for the sake of doing fun things,
but okay. Around the same time, my stepmam and her
sister told me they would be out of town for
(12:22):
the weekend and to show my dad lots of love
while they were gone, and that they felt bad they
had to leave him alone that weekend and stuff. I
didn't go see him long story, but I don't have
a close relationship with him. I sent a happy Father's
Day text and left it there. Turns out my brother
did go over. He called my dad beforehand, and when
(12:43):
he got there, my dad had made a pasta dinner
for two. There was a woman there over a decade
younger than him, who he has never seen. My dad
said she was a very old friend from work, that
they've known each other forever. But we've literally never seen
him with a platonic feel in our lives, not once.
(13:04):
Whenever he's around women, it's either his partner or his
friend's wives, partner's friends, et cetera, and he rarely talks
to them. Fast forward. I text on the fourth of
July saying happy fourth, and he says he's out of
state at a family friend's house, sort of a house
of someone I'm much closer to than he is. He
doesn't even like them, So I wonder to myself, what's up?
(13:26):
But I don't think too deep about it. I brushed
it off, but it gets weirder. My sister calls me
A couple of weeks later. My dad had called her
and told her he was going to a campsite three
hours away just to take pictures and sit in nature.
I cannot emphasize enough how much this is not his
vibe at all. He said he was going alone, then
(13:48):
complained about his wife being boring and never going anywhere
with him. My sister kept repeating, well, be safe out
there alone, until he finally admitted he wasn't going alone.
He was going with an old friend, but didn't want
to tell his wife because it was a woman. Then
right before this trip, he calls and asks me to
watch a labradoodle that belongs to a friend. I just
(14:11):
know it's the same woman's dog too. I ask if
the dog is good with other dogs and birds, and
he casually drops that they brought the dog with them
to that friend's house for the Fourth of July, which
his wife does not know about. He explicitly told my
sister that he went alone as well. I agreed to
watch the dog because I wanted to meet her. See
(14:32):
if I just forgot someone from the past or something
and get a sense if this is a really big deal,
they show up today. I have never met this woman.
She's probably fifteen years younger than my dad, and when
I ask, so, where are you headed, she freezes and
just says, just have some things to do. Liar. I'm pissed.
(14:55):
I also texted a mutual friend who was at the
property on the fourth. They confirmed my dad brought this
woman and said she was awkward, claimed they were just
friends even though no one asked, and that my dad
told him not to tell anyone she was there. So
I now know that my dad brought this woman on
two solo trips, had her over for dinner on Father's
(15:15):
Day while his wife was out of town, introduced her
to people while saying don't tell, and she's actively lying
about where she's going. Now. I'm ninety nine percent sure
my stepmom doesn't know any of this. She's so sweet,
and she and my dad are supposed to move out
into a new home in less than a month. I
have had conversations with her, and she always says she
(15:38):
never worries about my dad cheating, he's not that guy,
that they are just so good together, and that's the
last thing she worries about. She says she likes not
worrying because she does it like the person she becomes
when she has to worry. This has been keeping me
up at night because I know in my heart I
would have already told if it were anyone else. But
(15:59):
I have this tugg in feeling that since it's my parents,
it's not my place. Would I be the a hole
if I told her? I'm scared he's going to blow
up on me. He's sort of the agro narcissistic type,
and I'm just really nervous if you told, would you
go straight to her and lay it all out or
would you try to be more discreet in helping her
discover the truth? Thanks in advance. This is all really
(16:20):
stressing me out. Will it be in the way that
you present the facts? It definitely does sound like your
dad is having an affair, and I do believe your
step mom has the right to know. I'm sure if
you were in her situation, you'd like to know too,
regardless of who the messenger was. And if your dad
calls you to bereate your flips out on you, then
just hang up on him or close the door in
(16:40):
his face. He cheated and it's never justified, so no Opie,
you wouldn't be the aqal. It's the right thing to do.
Tell her, and what do you guys think? Let me
know in the comments section, and now let's check out
the community comments. Clear Headed zero one says, tell her
sounds like your dad is cheating, so tell her and
let her handle it herself. Not the ahole if you
(17:01):
tell her. Agreeable Region three ten says, tell her your
dad's odd behavior. You don't actually know if he's cheating,
and that is up to the step mom to figure
it out. If she asks you for additional information, only
tell her what you actually know when you answer her
specific questions. One Rainbow Unicorn says, not the ahole. I
(17:22):
can't believe you watched that woman's dog. Stepmother needs to know.
You may need to block your father because she sounds
like an abusive piece of crap. Get a cheap ring
cam in case he comes to your home to blow up,
don't answer the door, and if he gets out of control,
called cops. Well, the community was clear and concise. Not
the ahole. If she tells, and she should do so.
(17:42):
So let's move on to the update to see how
this story ends. I did it. I went over to
my stepmom's house while my dad was out of town
and told her everything I know. She was totally blindsided.
She was angry, she was absolutely shattered. She was shaking
and said she never saw this coming. She told me
things had actually been going better lately. My dad had
(18:03):
taken her out on a date just the day before
and was being unusually affectionate and sweet. She really thought
they were in a good place before I told her anything.
She was cheerfully chatting and brought up that shrimp pasta
your dad makes my sister and I just froze. That's
what he made for the other woman. We both felt sick.
(18:24):
She was so happy and welcoming and excited to have
us there. It was heartbreaking. She mentioned that usually he
invites her and her sister to church every weekend, and
he had randomly stopped doing that over the past month.
He also stopped inviting other family members who usually goes
to Apparently, she actually wanted to go on this recent
(18:45):
trip with him, but he told her he had to
take a certain road that she hates because of how
he drives on it, said it would be dangerous, so
she stayed behind. They'd had a location sharing app for years,
mostly just in case of emergencies. She rarely checks it
unless she needs to see if he's near a store
or something. But after I talked to her, she decided
(19:05):
to look. That's when everything started to click for her.
He hadn't gone to work at all that day. He
drove to a nearby town, eight at a takedia for hours,
then checked into an inn. We later found out that
her sister overheard him booking that room, and he specifically
asked for a king bed instead of two queens. She
(19:25):
didn't think any of it at the time, since he
normally books kings for work travel. My stepmom texted him
while he was still at the restaurant, pretending like she
had figured out a way to make the drive after all.
Then she said something like, you're not answering because your
girlfriend is with you, huh, and finally told him to
pack a bag and get out. He never replied. He
(19:47):
didn't call. He just went on with his night and
stayed at the hotel with the other woman. The next morning,
he finally called. At first he denied anyone was with him,
Then he admitted someone was, but claimed it was just
a friend. He told my step mom this was her
fault for never going anywhere with him. When she pointed
out that she knew it wasn't a work trip. He
(20:07):
first denied that too, then backtracked and said, yeah, you're right,
it's not work, but it's not what you think. She's
just a friend. She told him to come back a
bag and leave. He insisted on coming home to talk
it out. I really hope she sticks to her guns
and it doesn't let him spin this into anything but
what it is. As for me, I still have the labradoodle.
(20:28):
After telling her, I texted my dad and said, I
just outed you to your wife. I hope this was
a misunderstanding. What the f is going on? Call me back.
It's been over fifteen hours, no call, no text, nothing.
I sent that message because I didn't want my siblings
to take the blame or be put in a position
where he tries to guilt them. My step mom had
(20:50):
already let him know she knew, but I wanted him
to hear it from me that I was the one
who said something. Every time my phone rings, I get
nervous it's going to be him, But I feel better
having gotten it off my chest. I do think I
did the right thing. One thing I'm specifically glad about.
I stopped my step mom from moving into a new
house with him. When I got to her place to talk,
(21:11):
she was literally packing. That crushed me. Thankfully, she'll be
staying in the home she already shares with her sister instead.
That said, my partner thinks I should have given my
dad a warning first, something like tell her or I will.
He believes it would have hurt less coming from him,
and maybe it would have. It probably did hit harder
coming from me. With all the details. I know some
(21:33):
family members are going to have mixed feelings about how
I handle this, but I stand by it. Opie, again,
I think you are right in telling her. She is
going to feel the pain regardless of who tells her.
So good for you for doing the right thing. Here's
switching you the best, Ope, Thanks so much for sharing
and to take care. And now let's finish this video
with a quick mood booster post. This post is from
(21:57):
the sepreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user It is
something added in my contract to restrict me. Was something
I later used to help me when I first joined
a particular company, they had a number of offices in
the nearby city. Because they wanted to essentially force us
to work in whichever office they wanted, they added a
line in my contract saying that I could work anywhere
(22:19):
in the city. Years later and those offices have gone.
There's just the one that clause is removed from contracts
for anyone else starting at the company. Then our department
gets outsourced to another company. As part of UK law,
which makes transfer of people between companies easier, they have
to take my contract as is, which they did. They
(22:41):
then decided to relocate many of the people to other
parts of their company throughout the country, expecting you to
commute sometimes hours away. Except me, that part of my
contract still present meant that they could only send me
somewhere in the local city, and they had no while
the office is there, so I stayed. Years later, I'm
(23:04):
insourced back and the company tries to send me to
the other side of the country for a few days
to work. I tap on my contract once again. There's
something refreshing about being able to use a contract clause
initially added to force me to do something for them
against the company. Wellp he sounds like that clause turned
out to be a blessing in disguise. Thanks so much
(23:26):
for sharing, Opie. And that's it for today's video. Thank
you so much for taking the time to watch it now.
If you've gotten to this point in the video, I
assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy.
And if you don't have any time to watch another
story right now, save it for later. And also don't
forget to hit that subscribe button.
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