My Husband Left Me While Pregnant—Now His Family Is Harassing Me For Moving Away

Relationship Stories - OP’s husband walked out when she was eight months pregnant. With no family nearby, she moved back home. Now his family is attacking her for leaving—despite her having no other real choice.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to lost genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subredded am I the Ahole,
and it's by user Dick Grazanova. Am I the ahole
for moving back home after my husband left me even
though I'm pregnant. My soon to be ex husband, Levi
thirty three male, and I twenty eight female, have been

(00:25):
together for a decade, married for five years. I'm currently
pregnant with our first baby and due next month. After
I graduated, I moved back to his hometown, a major
city on the West Coast with him. I'm from a
biggar city in the Midwest, but loved living out here.
I thought we were happy. We planned our baby and

(00:46):
were so excited. But a few weeks ago, he told
me he was going to file for divorce. He said
he didn't want to be tied down anymore, he was
still young and needed to live his life, et cetera.
He said that there was nobody else, but I know
since then he's been seeing someone. He wanted me to
move out, but this is my house too. I put

(01:08):
down the down payment even so, he's been staying with
his friend Lewis. I can't afford to live here. On
my own while maintaining my lifestyle. Sure I could make
it work, but it wouldn't be the kind of lifestyle
I'd want to live, especially with a baby. I make
really good money even but it's so expensive. I have friends,

(01:28):
for sure, but not the support system. He does no
family here, so I've decided to move back home, and
luckily my company has a location in my hometown, so
I was able to keep my job. My parents have
been so supportive. They're divorced and hate one another, but
are now combined in their hatred of Levi, which is
interesting to see. They've secured a nice rental home in

(01:51):
my city and refuse to let me pay them back,
saying I need to save for buying our next house.
They're paying for my divorce lawyer and my copeys at
the new doctor here. They're paying and said I'm doing
the right thing for my baby and are happy to help.
My mom is about to retire and even once to
watch my baby while I work after my maternity leave,

(02:13):
so it's been an ideal situation for me. Levi is furious.
He's claiming that I moved to get back at him,
and I'm going to try to keep him out of
our babies live. I explained very clearly that I couldn't
afford to be a single mom in San Diego, but
he doesn't believe me. He's told everyone I've moved back

(02:33):
to get the upper hand on custody. That's not why
I moved, but it's definitely a plus. His job doesn't
have any locations here and they won't keep him if
he moves. He could get another job here, of course,
but he says that's too much to ask of him.
I told him I'd be going for child support once
the baby is born, and he told me I needed

(02:54):
to make up my mind. Could he be a dad
or not. I told him he was going to be
a dad regardless, and if he doesn't want to move here,
then he would be a dad by paying child support.
I don't think i'm the a whole. I think I'm
doing what I have to do. But I don't know
what I'm supposed to say to all these people texting
and calling me and telling me I'm keeping Levi's baby

(03:16):
from him. Well, Levi seems to be short a few
grams to a kilo. I mean, did you think you
were just gonna stay there even though you had no
support system because he wants to be divorced, but he
also wants to keep you around so he can see
the baby. No, good for you for looking for your
support system, and your parents took you right in, which
is great. They totally have your back here. Now, regarding

(03:36):
all of these messages that his family is sending, you
don't block them, keep them because you're gonna need them
as proof for a restraining order later. However, if they
still stress you out, maybe you just mute them or
just try not to look at them in any case
of be No, you are not the a hole. What
do you guys think? Let me know in the comments section,
and now let's check out the community comments. F mobile

(03:59):
fifty eight fifty one says, First off, congratulations on your baby. Second,
don't respond to those stupid texts. You can block those
numbers if he sends any hateful texts, especially now with
the baby, you can save those and use it in
court if he ever tries to go after you. What
you need is a peaceful time before delivery and stress

(04:20):
free postpartum lifestyle and go for child support. He's the
one who wanted to leave for a free lifestyle. Now,
he's got it, and Opie responds, Oh, I'm going for
full child support. Don't worry Lowell. It would be one
thing if this was a one night stand thing, but
we planned our baby and he's not getting out of
supporting it. Narnia Mouse says, you moving somewhere because you

(04:45):
need financial support? Isn't an am I the ahole situation? Quote?
But I don't know what I'm supposed to say to
all these people texting and calling me and telling me
I'm keeping Levi's baby from him. End quote. You said
you have a divorce lawyer. Talk to them about whether
you're doing anything illegal or divorce compromising when it comes
to the child, and stop responding to everyone calling or

(05:08):
texting until you get that answer. And Opie responds, I'm not.
He can't force me to stay anywhere, and I'm the
pregnant one, so yeah, the baby goes where I go.
It is what it is, and he can't stop me
from leaving the state. Low Material Device twenty one thirteen
says you screwed up his plan. He wanted to be

(05:29):
with his girlfriend and have you nearby doing all the
work raising the baby, so he could visit only when
he feels like it. You take care of you. His
anger over not getting everything he wants after abandoning you
is his problem to deal with. Don't respond to any
of those calls or texts. Ready conflict eighteen eighty seven,

(05:50):
says OMG and Opie, who already took the steps to
protect themselves. This is so refreshing to the randos who
have an opinion. Who cares? Seriously, you're pregnant, Detect your
peace and reply to none of them. Don't give them
a reaction. Don't reply, save all the messages, call logs,
and voicemail. Also, if you have proof of his infidelity,

(06:10):
and listen to your lawyer. Also kind of super proud
of your parents and love that they came together for
their child and grandchild. Love that, and Opie responds, it
is very weird seeing two people who have hated one
another so openly for decades work together towards a common goal.
Just the strangest dynamic I've ever seen. Additional information from

(06:33):
Opie's comments, I do have a lawyer, and I'm not
worried about Levi's stopping me. The baby isn't even born yet,
which means I get to decide where I give birth.
He filed for divorce in California, but hasn't even hired
a lawyer, and now he's saying he'll withdraw it anyway.
My legal team has zero concerns about custody or readocation.
If anything, they're shocked at how many mistakes he's already made.

(06:57):
I've also been clear I'm not cutting him out if
he actually moves to my hometown and proves he can
handle it. I have no problem with fifty to fifty,
but he's the one who wanted his freedom, So if
he doesn't make the effort, then his role will just
be paying child support, which he owes whether this baby
was planned or not. When it comes to visitation, sure

(07:20):
flights will be involved, but honestly, he should cover most
of that. About this other woman, yeah, she's not some
young fling. She's pushing forty, has three kids she doesn't
even have full custody of, and she knew I was
pregnant because she literally congratulated me. Two weeks after we
interviewed Nanny's he was already seeing her. And yes, after

(07:42):
all that, he had the audacity to ask me to reconcile.
That's never going to happen. I don't care if he
swears up and down, he's never physically cheated. He tried
to make me homeless at seven months pregnant so he
could live in our house with her. That's enough for me.
As for me, I'm moving forward. I'll be giving my

(08:03):
baby my maiden name, and I'm taking it back too.
I didn't move to punish LEVI. I moved because I
wasn't going to struggle to afford San Diego as a
single mom. He has zero obstacles to moving here. If
he wants to be involved, I'd even encourage it. But
I'm not sacrificing my savings or scaling back my life

(08:23):
forever just to make things convenient for him. Well, the
community agrees that Ope is not the Apal, and it
sounds like OPE has everything under control. So let's move
on to the update to see how this story ends. So,
first off, I thought I was clearer in my first post,
but the amount of helpful comments who skipped over the
following information was driving me insane. I have already moved

(08:47):
back to the Midwest, and I already have a lawyer,
so no need to tell me to move before my
baby is born or yell at me to get a lawyer.
I have done both. A few weeks after moving out,
he had filed for California. Since I was moving and
obtaining a lawyer, I had not yet responded. I have
an obgyn here in my hometown, and I'm set up

(09:09):
to give birth here. I have legal advice from a professional.
My ex LEVI came to my place like the day
after my post. I hadn't been responding to him or
his friends and family and had just muted their numbers.
I got home and he was talking to my new neighbor,
who I haven't met yet. I wanted him to stop,

(09:29):
so I let him come inside to talk, but also
texted my parents what was going on. Basically, he said
everything was a mistake, he didn't think everything through enough,
and that he had withdrawn his divorce petition. He said
he was fine living in my hometown. He did need
time to find a job, but could work on selling
the house back west in the meantime and worked remote

(09:52):
until he found a new job, kind of acting like
everything was fine. Very strange, though not like he was
on drug I've seen him on drugs, well, it's been years,
but it wasn't that. I don't know. By the time
my dad got there, I was very upset and not
thinking clearly. His wife drove me to their house and

(10:13):
he stayed there with LEVI for a bid and got
him to leave, and he's been at my mom's and
won't leave town. I don't want to get too into it.
My lawyer was able to confirm he sort of withdrew
the petition, but it was either incomplete or incorrect. His
behavior has been odd. Yes, I told them I'm not
talking to him unless he gets evaluated. And I don't

(10:33):
know if my mom wore him down or what, but
he agreed and has been at the hospital all day.
My mom's boyfriend has been through a lot of this
with his own son and was able to get him
into a good hospital, and I hope we know something soon.
To be honest, I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. I feel bad
saying this, but I don't want to be dealing with

(10:54):
this right now. I have so much going on and
had already kind of divorced him and started my life
as a sinker mom. In my head, I'm not saying
I'm going to stay with him, even if this is
a health thing. He has crossed so many boundaries and
hurt me so bad into just two months. But I
did make a vow that i'd take seriously, and before

(11:14):
all of this, if I told you he'd done any
of this, you'd think I was insane. If he's fine,
then he's just an ahole, and I'm fine divorcing him.
But if it's something more, I'm so overwhelmed at the
thought of taking care of both him and a newborn.
But it would mean he hasn't been deceiving me all
these years. Additional information from Opie's comments. He never had

(11:37):
a lawyer through any of this, which probably explains why
the divorce filing was such a mess. My lawyer told
me the forms were filled out wrong, and now that
I have his phone, I've seen his finances, and honestly,
there's plenty of incriminating stuff. He never bothered to scrub.
This all really only started about six or seven weeks ago.

(11:58):
At first I thought he was cheating with the co
but that wasn't actually the case. The woman he's seeing
now didn't come into the picture until after he'd filed
for divorce, though it wasn't long after. She still seems
to want to be with him, which is just another
layer of weird on top of everything. I also want
to be clear about something. I don't want him back.

(12:19):
If he's fine, If this all turns out to just
be him being selfish and cruel, then he's simply an
ahole and that's that. But if it really is an illness,
that's where I feel conflicted. I hate admitting it, but
part of me feels guilty for not wanting him even
if he's sick. In some ways, it would almost be
easier if he were just a nahole, because then the

(12:42):
choice would be clear. As for support, yes, my parents
have done a lot for me financially, but emotionally we're
not close. There are things from when I was a
kid that make me uncomfortable around them, even my mom.
I don't plan on having her in the delivery room
at this point. I'll probably just do it on my own.
His parents, on the other hand, are flying out tomorrow,

(13:03):
so at least he'll have that support. I'm still overwhelmed,
still confused, and honestly I just needed to get all
this out. Everything I thought I knew about my life
has completely blown up, and I'm trying to figure out
what's real and what isn't will it be? The way
I see it, There's only one of two possibilities that's
happening here. Either he does have some sort of health

(13:24):
issue or his girlfriend dumped him and he wants you back.
The good thing is that you know exactly what to
do in each situation and you have a support system
to get you through it. So here's swishing you and
your baby the best in the future. Ape Thanks so
much for sharing and to take care, and now let's
move on to the next post that also has an update.
This post is from the sebredded a Mighty acole and

(13:46):
it's by user Texas treat eighty two. Am I the
acle for refusing to talk to a woman and hearing
her out after she openly insulted me. I, female forty two,
had met up with some friends at our neighborhood bar
and grill to watch our home team play football. We
had a big group at our table, and I pretty
much personally knew everyone who was sitting with us, and

(14:08):
the people I didn't know were friends with someone who
I was friends with, So the vibe is friendly and
easygoing and everyone getting along. There were two probably under
fifteen aged women sitting across the table from me, about
three chairs down. I had noticed them looking at me
and my peripheral vision a couple of times and could
pick up that I was the topic of the conversation.

(14:31):
They weren't giving me mean girl vibe with dirty looks
or gossiping, but it definitely felt like I was the
topic of their conversation. I would smile at them whenever
we made eye contact, but we had not been formally introduced.
As I said before, I was longtime friends with most
of the people at our table, so I was conversing
with everyone on commercial breaks, but as soon as the

(14:53):
game was back on, I went back to my chair
and into do not disturb mode. I don't play when
it comes to watching my football team play. I hear
my name again being said in conversation, but I don't
really pay attention to it while the game is on.
A couple of minutes later, I hear my name being
called out. A confused look comes over my face, and

(15:15):
I glance over at the direction it's coming from, and
the two women I had mentioned earlier are staring straight
at me, but not saying anything. I turned my focus
back to the game, and a couple of minutes later,
my friend, who was sitting next to me, gets me
attention and points to the two women. Keep in mind,
I have never met this woman and I don't even

(15:35):
know her name. We make eye contact after she loudly
called my name out, and then she loudly asks me
from across the table, have you tried a zampick? For context,
for those who don't know, Ozempik is marketed as a
weight loss drug, This woman, who I have never met
before in my life, is loudly asking me in front

(15:57):
of a table of people if I've tried using this
pro to help me lose weight. She's basically insinuating that
I am overweight and giving unsolicited advice. When she asked me,
I was stunned for about two seconds. Then I responded
by saying, have you tried minding your mother effing business?
Her mouth dropped open and she looked shocked and sort

(16:18):
of confused. Some people at the table started laughing, and
her look of confusion turned into looks of embarrassment as
people started giving the damn, you just got served looks
at her. I went back to watching the game and
basically acting like nothing happened about an hour after the
game ended, we had dispersed from the table and were

(16:39):
scattered around the place. I was recapping the game with
two male friends, and she approached me and asked me
if we could talk. I looked over at her for
one second and then just said no, and then I
went back to my conversation. She stood there for a
couple of seconds, then walked off. One of the guys
I was talking with found this interaction hilarious. He was

(17:02):
roaring with laughter and banging the table and acting really obnoxious.
I quit talking and just got quiet because it was
obvious he was making a big show of laughing to
be disrespectful to the woman. I just told no. He
was still laughing as he came up to me and
began hugging me and put his arm around my shoulder
and held this other hand to hard and he bent

(17:23):
backwards from laughing so hard. I excused myself and went
to the bathroom. I was looking in the mirror and
brushing my hair when I heard the door opened. The
same lady came in and again approached me to talk.
She started saying she was only trying to help, and
I turned and put my hand up to cut her
off and shook my head no. She then loudly said

(17:44):
would you just hear me out, to which I promptly
replied no. She had a shocked look on her face,
and I had a look of you just don't get it.
I told her, I don't want to hear her explanation
and I'm not going to give any a time attention
to her reasons for trying to justify what she said.
I walked out and went to find some friends and

(18:05):
enjoyed to the rest of my night. I got a
lot of good for yous, and I also received a
lot of she didn't mean anything by it. You could
have handled that differently, So am I the a hole?
You handled it just right. This is not a person
you know and thinks that's actually the best way to
break the eyes and try to become your friend. If
she was trying to do that, what, No, she was

(18:27):
just rude and you shut it down. That was it?
And what do you guys think? Let me know in
the comments section, and now let's check out the community comments.
Downtown Alarm seventy nine seventy one says, all these people
who feel so entitled and comfortable with saying ugly and
defensive things to others has got so stop. It doesn't
matter what her intention was. You don't approach a stranger

(18:48):
about the weight without getting served. You minded your business
and tried to take the high road, and this woman
went out of her way to keep trying to finish
her disgusting sentence. Not the a f around and find out.
Good for you. I don't know you, Internet stranger, but
you are beautiful and deserving of peace. Proud of you
for not taking Karen's crap. Lunadorra says, not the ahole. However,

(19:13):
I don't interpret your guy friend as laughing just to
be disrespectful to her. To me, that reads as he
is demonstrating you are the priority of friendship in this group.
He is on your side and he won't entertain her crap.
And Peach Sandwich says some people don't get told to
shut up enough in their life. You don't have to
be nice to her or hear her out. She wasn't

(19:35):
trying to be helpful, she was trying to embarrass you.
Nice reverse Uno, not the ahole. The community agrees with
p is not the aphole. So now let's move on
to the update to see how this story ends. I
found out later that man who had put his arm
around me and was laughing really obviously was her husband.
I have known him for about five years and had

(19:57):
no idea he was married, because honestly, he does act married.
We play in a volleyball league that has a beach
style set up, so it's outdoor, co ed locker rooms
with open faced showers, and he has a habit of
hanging out in the shower area when groups of women
are using the facilities. After discussing what happened with my teammates,

(20:17):
they think she might have asked because she was upset
about her husband talking to me. Also, I posted this
as a reply to a comment I made, but I
wanted to repost here to add some more context to
how the dynamic was. My friend group was there to
watch the football game, so we are not talking when
the game is on. She and her friend aren't really

(20:39):
part of our friend group, and they were the only
ones talking while the game was on, and they were
the ones who were saying my name. I had never
met these women, so I found it off putting from
the start that they are talking during the game, and
not only that, for whatever reason, they are talking about me.
I could have used that as a reason to introduce myself,
but I honestly didn't want to engage or give my

(21:00):
energy and time to them. Yikes. When you get the
full picture of that couple, you kind of feel a
little bit bad for the both of them that they
have to be with the other, if that makes sense.
But anyways, Opie, no, you didn't have to engage. Good
for you. So here's reaching you the best. Thanks for
sharing and to take care and let's finish this video
with a quick mood booster post. This post is from

(21:23):
the subreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user delicious pea
seventy five ninety four. Stop telling the dog no. Okay, So,
my mother in law has a very cute, but very
bad dog i'll call Fred. Fred has never heard the
word no in his life. Whenever he does something bad,
my mother in law will just laugh and shrug her shoulders.

(21:43):
When I visited recently, Fred did a couple of naughty
things and I told him no, which of course he
didn't understand. After about the third time, my wife angrily
pulled me aside and said to stop telling him no
since it is not my dog. And mother in law
is getting upset. Fast forward to dinner. I'm sitting at
the table alone while wife and mother inlaw finish some

(22:06):
last minute things. Fred jumps on a chair and knocks
over a whole plate of pot roast on the floor,
and of course I say nothing. During the cleanup, my
wife asks if I soffer it at a table. I said, yep,
I saw everything, and you said I can't tell him no,
So my wife bit her tongue so hard. Willopie. There

(22:30):
was nothing they could get angry at you about. You
did exactly what they asked you to. Thanks for sharing,
and that's it for today's video. Thank you so much
for taking the time to watch it now. If you've
gotten to this point in the video, I assume that
you like these stories that I'm reading out, so here
are a couple more that you might enjoy. And if
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(22:52):
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