December 13, 2025 • 22 mins
Reddt Stories - OP’s wife snapped at their 13-year-old son during a chaotic moment, then refused to apologize. When OP pushed her to take accountability, she turned silent—cutting off communication with both him and their son.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subreddadam My the ahole, and
it's by user technical housing ninety seven. Am I the
a hole for telling my wife that I will lose
respect for her if she doesn't apologize. My wife and
I have three kids. Thursday, my wife was helping our
(00:24):
nine year old with her homework. She was supposed to
fill in a chart with the timetables. That was a
hectic day. Our four year old threw up and I
was trying to clean him up, and my wife was
having trouble getting our nine year old to focus on
what she was doing because she kept looking at me.
Our nine year old hates math and is pretty bad
at it, which annoys my wife, who is usually fantastic
(00:46):
at math. My wife asked our daughter what seven times
seven was. Our daughter said she didn't know. My wife
kept telling her to try to think of an answer.
She kept saying she didn't know. My wife was getting frustrated.
Our daughter finally guessed thirty seven. My wife said close
forty seven. Our thirteen year old then said, no, mom,
(01:08):
it's forty nine. My wife snapped at that point and
told him to shut up and go upstairs. He went
into the backyard instead. She took a deep breath and
then went into our room. I finished with our four
year old and then went outside. I tried to talk
to him, but he didn't want to listen. He kept saying,
but Dad, seven times seven is forty nine. I told
(01:31):
him his mom just got frustrated and didn't mean to
yell at him. He kept insisting that seven times seven
is forty nine, which I am aware of, so I
got nowhere. I went back inside to talk to my wife.
She said she knew she shouldn't have yelled. She said
she was frustrated because he was distracting her and that's
why she made the mistake. I pointed out that she
(01:53):
made the mistake before he said anything. She started crying
and asked why I was being so critical. I apologize
to her, told her I loved her. We hugged it out,
but then I asked her if she was going to
go and apologize to our thirteen year old. She said no,
because he shouldn't have interrupted her. She said he was
rude and needed to learn not to interrupt. I told
(02:15):
her it's not okay to tell him to shut up.
We went back and forth, and finally I said I
won't be able to respect her as much if she
doesn't apologize. That really hurt her. She said she needs space.
She hasn't said a word to me or him since Thursday.
I know that what I said is harsh, but I
can't respect someone who won't apologize when they make a mistake.
(02:36):
Am I the a whole? My sister says, I am
because I'm not being supportive and our thirteen year old
is a lot well be. I don't think you're the
ahle per se because I absolutely agree with your sentiment.
When you make a mistake, there's nothing wrong or making
you little for apologizing. When you acknowledge that you've done
something wrong and you apologize for it, that actually builds
(02:59):
your character and people gain trust with you. And I
don't see it as your son interrupting. I think he
was trying to contribute. Your wife shot him down because
apparently she was under a lot of stress at that
moment and she just popped at him, which is why
she should apologize. That doesn't take away from your authority
as a parent. It actually helps children understand and know
(03:20):
that you're not infallible. You're still the parent, you're still
the authority, but you can also make mistakes and you
apologize when you do. I think you need to sit
down and have a conversation with your wife. She is
in the wrong, and she's just maybe too proud to
talk to her son, who is eighteen boy, so I'm
pretty sure he doesn't make it easy either. And to Euopie,
(03:40):
I think you could have made your point in a
different way. And what do you guys think? Let me
know in the comment section, and now let's check out
the community comments. Designer Camp twenty two sixty nine says
a lot of people forget that adults aren't always right
and children aren't always wrong. She needs to apologize for
snapping at your child, and DOPI responds, I told her that,
(04:03):
but she said it has nothing to do with the
math problem, and that it's about his bad habit of interrupting.
I think that sense he was trying and accidentally really
to be helpful. That doesn't count as interrupting. Professional Desk
nine three three says, honestly, I did just tell my
thirteen year old that seven times seven is forty nine
(04:24):
and mom got mad because she got it wrong. So
childish to not apologize and DOPEI responds, I did try
to explain that, but he didn't get it. For him,
it's all about the math problem. The fact that he
got it right is all he can focus on. His
mom's frustration doesn't factor in for him. Distinct Mood fifty
three forty four says I was a career teacher. I
(04:46):
had a banner above my whiteboard that said mistakes are
to learn from. I taught my students to own their
mistakes and look at them as learning experiences. Some of
my most memorable moments as a teacher occurred because of
miss mistakes mine and students. Yes, I always owned my mistakes.
Kartashan says, once I was left in charge of my siblings,
(05:09):
one brother dumped a bottle of oil on another brother's head.
I knew that we don't waste paper towels, so in
my twelve year old brain, I thought I needed the
most absorbent thing we have to clean this up because
it was a mess. I decided the best thing to
use was a good thick towel, one of the few
nice things my single mom had. When she got home,
she was mad and I got yelled at and then
(05:31):
she apologized to me. She realized that I was doing
my best with the knowledge that I had didn't know
that oil stained. She acknowledged that I was doing a
favor for her by babysitting my siblings, and that the
boys were the ones that made the mess. I was
trying to be responsible. That apology has stayed with me
(05:52):
as a defining part of our relationship. I love her
for that. She became a better mother, and I am
so a better mom because I have followed her example,
and I apologize to my children every time I mess up.
Not the Ahle and Silvara says, your wife absolutely owes
the thirteen year old in apology. I don't see what
(06:14):
he did as an interruption at all. She was teaching
the nine year old the wrong information. It seems to
me your wife was just embarrassed and is now being
very passive aggressive by giving you the silent treatment, she
is being emotionally immature and needs to step up and apologize.
Opie's InPost update, My wife got up before our alarm
(06:37):
and started cleaning our bathroom. I started the laundry and
made breakfast. She didn't say a word when she sat
down to eat she ate much faster than normal. She
stood up, picked up our four year old, and told
our nine year old to get ready because they were
going to the library. She didn't say anything to our
thirteen year old. I told her we need to talk,
(06:58):
and she shook her head. I followed her upstairs and
insisted that we need to talk. She just kept shaking
her head. She went into our four year old's room
and locked the door. I went downstairs and told our
thirteen and nine year old that we are going to
the dog park. They both asked if mom was okay,
and I said yes and that she needed space. I
(07:19):
grabbed some clothes for our nine year old from the
laundry room and she got changed in the downstairs bathroom.
We are at the dog park and my wife is
refusing to answer my texts. I'm starting to think this
isn't about math. The community A goop is not the
equal that the wife does need to apologize. And with
that update, yeah, she's definitely emotionally immature or something's going
(07:42):
on with her. So now let's move on to the
update to see what happened next. So at the dog park,
I talked to our thirteen year old. I explained to
him that a lot was going on right now and
his mother was overwhelmed. I said that sometimes when a
person is overwhelmed, the next thing that happens, good, bad,
or neutral is the thing that pushes them over, and
(08:03):
the source of that thing, good, bad, or neutral is
what they lash out at. I said his mom was
wrong to lash out at him, but it wasn't his
fault and she didn't really mean it. I said she
was embarrassed and that was why she was avoiding him.
He said that wasn't fair, and we kept going back
and forth. I was trying to help him understand he
(08:23):
didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't feel bad, but only
could focus on was that he was being treated unfairly.
I told him that it wasn'tnfair, but that his mom
isn't perfect and everyone makes mistakes. I said, sometimes he
is unfair, but we forgive him because we love him.
I said forgiving his mom even though she was wrong,
would be a nice way to show his love for her,
(08:46):
but that he doesn't have to again. He just said
that the situation was unfair, which it is it really is.
After the dog park, I took our thirteen year old
to a friend's house, and our nine year old to
a friend of mine's house. I went home and made dinner. However,
my wife went out for dinner with our four year old,
so she didn't get home until after I had put
(09:07):
everything away. I told her that we had to talk
now that the kids aren't here, and that not talking
wasn't an option anymore. She still ignored me, so I
said that if she wouldn't engage with me, I would
have to call our sisters and get them to come
over to help me. She got very angry, but she
finally engaged. She told me that she is drowning. She
(09:29):
said work is exhausting, and every day when she gets home,
her patience is already below zero. She is scared and
upset by our four year old's stomach issues. She said
he threw up again at dinner. She really shouldn't have
taken him out to eat, because we are supposed to
keep track of everything he eats before throwing up or
not throwing up before the appointment today, which is impossible
(09:51):
to do at a restaurant. But I didn't mention that.
She said she can't take our thirteen year old behavior anymore.
I said, he we didn't do anything wrong that day.
She said that when we were that age, if we
interrupted our parents to tell them they were wrong, we
would have been punished severely. She said, we raised a
spoiled and titled child. She said she can never get
(10:13):
any piece in quiet in our own home that we
worked hard to pay for because we have a spoiled
team that refuses to ever stop talking or making noise.
I said, we have been working on those behavior and
he has been improving. But she lashed out when he
was trying to be helpful, and that sends the wrong message.
She told me that I'm not supporting her. She said
(10:34):
she needs things to change. She said, we need to
crack down and stop being so lenient. If he plays
the recorder after we've told him he's done for the night,
we need to take it. If he interrupts, he needs
to go straight to his room. If he argues about curfew,
he needs to lose privileges. I told her we need
to take a step back. I said, if she is overwhelmed,
(10:56):
she needs to take a break. I told her this
heightened emotional star is a bad time to make huge
household changes. I suggested, like many commenters did, that she
get a hotel for a few days and to decompress.
She said she's not the problem. I didn't say she was,
and he is. She said he was bad from the beginning.
(11:17):
She said when our daughter didn't have all his issues,
she thought it was because she is a girl. But
our four year old boy is also better behaved, so
he is the problem. She also said I've always seen
it and used to admit it, but stopped to make
her look crazy. For context, I used to joke that
our thirteen year old is challenging because he likes to
(11:39):
be outside so much, loves animals, and loves playing on
his recorder. I want to stress that this was a joke.
The reason I stopped making this joke is because I
noticed my wife didn't find it funny anymore. This was
years ago, anyway. I said all that, and she said no,
that I saw even then that he is wrong, but
stop acknowledging it to make her feel like the problem.
(12:04):
She also said she has been seeing an online therapist.
I had no idea, she said. She didn't tell me
because she was embarrassed. Her therapist told her that our
son has dangerous tendencies and shows signs of being contemptuous
towards women because he doesn't respect his mother. I had
no idea how to respond to that. I said, any
(12:24):
therapist who would say something like that about a child
they've never met shouldn't be licensed, and if it's an
online therapist, for all she knows, they aren't. At the
end of our conversation, she agreed to go to the
hotel only if she took our four year old with her,
because she wanted to be the one to take him
to his medical appointment. I didn't think that was a
(12:46):
good idea at all. However, she ended up just taking
him and going. I picked up the kids and brought
them home. They sensed that something is wrong and were
very subdued this morning getting ready for school. I talked
to my boss when I came in, and he is
going to let me leave early to go to our
four year old's medical appointment. I'm hoping it will be
good news and that will make us all feel less
(13:07):
on edge. Now that's the end of that update. And
later OPI made a post in a different subreddit, and
I'm just going to read the part that is more
relevant to this story than the rest. Now let's move
on our son is a good kid. He doesn't steal, hit, curse,
or lie. He argued. He talked too much and he complained.
(13:28):
But isn't all that a symptom of cleverness? He was
too much like us. However, he was also nothing like us.
This child we created, But isn't that good? Don't we
want our children to be individuals? Yes, the arguing and
interrupting had to be curbed, but we worked on it.
He improved, he started to mature. Life was a struggle,
(13:48):
but he wasn't the struggle. This parenting thing is hard.
My wife cracked. It happens. We've all been there. Our
son corrected a mistake she made, and she was embarrassed.
She screamed at him. Shut up. I asked her to apologize,
because he didn't deserve that. She shut down. She told
me that she was overwhelmed. I get it. I'm overwhelmed too.
(14:09):
I think I've been overwhelmed for a long time and
just refused to acknowledge it. I told her to take
a break. She took a break, and then I found
out that my wife, who I have always trusted, lied
to me. She said she quit her job. That was
a lie. She did not quit. She was suspended, and
she will likely be fired on Friday or possibly next week.
(14:32):
She has been telling me all year that her co
workers are incompetent and she is the only one doing
her job correctly in actuality. She has been in a
performance improvement plan for months. Why was she suspended? She
was telling a co worker that he needed to finish
something by the end of the month to keep them
on track for a February third deadline. He interrupted her
(14:55):
to tell her that deadline was March second. She screamed
at him to shut up and not interrupt her. She
did the same thing to her co worker she did
to our son. The only difference is our household doesn't
have an har department. She lied to me? Is that
what I should be hung up on? Probably not. Here's
what's killing me. Here's what I can't say in real
(15:17):
life to anyone. So I'll tell you. I always thought
she was sharp, and I loved that. I thought I
was so sophisticated for recognizing her elegance and worth. I
felt special for loving her. But maybe she isn't sharp.
Maybe she is just thin skinned and irritable. Yeah, she
lied to me, But maybe I lied to myself first, OPI,
(15:39):
I am so sorry that you and your family are
going through all of this. Your wife is definitely going
through something that she needs to put a lot of
work to get through. She will have to apologize at
some point and will have to regain trust. It's either
that or well it is the end. That is a
decision that you and her will have to make. Maybe
once she's had time to calm down and be absolutely
(16:01):
honest with herself and you. In the meantime, you'll be
Here's wishing you and your kids the best. Take care
and thanks for sharing. And now let's finish this video
with a mood booster post. This post is from the
subreddit petty Revenge and it's by you, sir deleted. I'll
do what I want in my own yard, Okay, I'll
make it impossible to enjoy your air. Last spring, our
(16:23):
old neighbor who was a saint sold her house and
moved away. The people that moved in were awful. The
guy who will call Pete owns some sort of new
black Mustang that sounds like it has no muffler, and
he revs it up and down the subdivision streets in
the evenings. Literally five days a week when a lot
of people, myself included, sit on the back porch and
(16:46):
watch TV during the summer, it is relentless. This guy
also drives up and down the state highway that is
on the other side of my house, doing the same thing,
but louder. Because it's a fifty five mile for our
speed limit. You can hear it for miles. And he
has friends over regularly in the backyard and they sit
(17:07):
there on the weekends and some weeknights reving up the car.
It truly is so loud that you cannot do anything
but wait for him to be done. There was a
big Facebook conversation in the HOA group, and a bunch
of neighbors politely asked him not to do this. Pete's
exact response, I pay a lot of money for this house.
I'll do what I want in my own yard, and
(17:29):
those streets are public. Well, I didn't like that, so
here's what I did next with a little context. Our
subdivision has about one hundred and fifty houses on about
three hundred acres. It's big. Most of the properties in
this subdivision are between one to four acres in size.
I have a three acre corner due to an agreed
upon land split and sale ten years ago between the hoa,
(17:52):
all neighbors within the vicinity, and the former owners. My
next door neighbor's house is on the smallest piece of
property in the subdivision, at zero point forty five acres.
In our neighborhood, we have ten foot privacy fences that
are white vinyl. The only side of Pete's house not
boardered it by somebody else's privacy fence is the signe
(18:13):
that my house sits on. Well, I know from fifteen
years of living here that anytime I have a fire
on the side of the yard next to Pete's house,
the smoke is guaranteed to travel in the direction of
Pete's house. I know this because I couldn't ever have
a fire when my old neighbor was outside, as it
would literally fill her backyard with smoke if ever the
(18:35):
wood had even a hint of moisture in it. So
I moved my fire pit about a dozen years ago
to the other side of my house and towards the road,
so that I could be a good neighbor. And you know,
Pete letting me know that he wouldn't quit making noise
reminded me that I just loved having my fire pit
(18:56):
right in the middle of my backyard. It took me
a single weekend to dig up the pavers and blogs,
move them back to my preferred spot, and get myself
a fire going in my new fire pit. I just
need to wait until Pete had people over. I made
sure the inaugural fire was a good one. Pete had
friends over. It was a nice day, and so I
(19:17):
started the fire, got it just about started, and then
I added all the wettest, crossest wood I could, and
about ten minutes later, Pete and all of his friends
were visibly upset by the stench, so they all went in.
They came back out. A little later, I added more wet,
nasty wood, they went in again. I kept that up
the entire day, and then I added a bunch of
(19:40):
grass clippings to keep it going overnight. The next day,
still smoldering, still smelling offal I put out a Facebook
post on the HOA website that let people know I'd
be continuing to utilize my fire pit as often as
possible so they could bring me their lawn scraps. I
had about twenty people respond in a few hours, saying
(20:01):
their clippings were all mine. I kept that fire going.
My dogs are good alarms, and they rush outside anytime
anybody is in Pete's backyard, so I would hear the
dogs scramble, go out and add more clippings. After about
three weeks, Pete and his wife came out and very
kindly asked me what was going on with the fire pit.
(20:25):
She very politely informed me that her hair would smell
like a campfire if she went into her backyard for
any amount of time, and they could smell it coming
into their house through their duct work. He said I
was making it hard for him to enjoy his backyard
with his friends. They asked me if I could please
back with the fire because I probably didn't know that
(20:45):
it was impacting so much on their home life. I
looked at him and his wife, and I said that
it was clear that sometimes we didn't recognize how big
of an effect something could have on our neighbors until
they told us about it. But then I said, as
objectively as possible, that I normally live by the same
I'll do what I want in my yard thought process
(21:06):
as Pete does. I have a right to enjoy my yard.
I looked at Pete dead in the eyes and said,
and I know you support that because of how the
conversation concluded about your car, right Pete. He looked at
me like I had scratched his favorite CD. He knew
what I was doing. And his wife looked at him
and it just dawned on her. She said, she gets it,
(21:29):
and we won't hear the Mustang anymore. I said, thanks,
I took a gamble and put the fire out right
after that. It was the right call. I haven't talked
to them much since. I'm not too concerned about that
because I haven't heard the Mustang since either. All in all,
a good little case of petty revenge. Petty revenge that
(21:50):
curbed the behavior of an a whole neighbor. Nicely done,
oh Pee, fantastic, Thanks so much for sharing. And that's
it for today's video. Thank you so much for taking
the time to watch it now. If you've gotten to
this point in the video, I assume that you like
these stories that I'm reading out, so here are a
couple more that you might enjoy. And if you don't
(22:10):
have any time to watch another story right now, save
it for later. And also, don't forget to hit that
subscribe button,
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subreddadam My the ahole, and
it's by user technical housing ninety seven. Am I the
a hole for telling my wife that I will lose
respect for her if she doesn't apologize. My wife and
I have three kids. Thursday, my wife was helping our
(00:24):
nine year old with her homework. She was supposed to
fill in a chart with the timetables. That was a
hectic day. Our four year old threw up and I
was trying to clean him up, and my wife was
having trouble getting our nine year old to focus on
what she was doing because she kept looking at me.
Our nine year old hates math and is pretty bad
at it, which annoys my wife, who is usually fantastic
(00:46):
at math. My wife asked our daughter what seven times
seven was. Our daughter said she didn't know. My wife
kept telling her to try to think of an answer.
She kept saying she didn't know. My wife was getting frustrated.
Our daughter finally guessed thirty seven. My wife said close
forty seven. Our thirteen year old then said, no, mom,
(01:08):
it's forty nine. My wife snapped at that point and
told him to shut up and go upstairs. He went
into the backyard instead. She took a deep breath and
then went into our room. I finished with our four
year old and then went outside. I tried to talk
to him, but he didn't want to listen. He kept saying,
but Dad, seven times seven is forty nine. I told
(01:31):
him his mom just got frustrated and didn't mean to
yell at him. He kept insisting that seven times seven
is forty nine, which I am aware of, so I
got nowhere. I went back inside to talk to my wife.
She said she knew she shouldn't have yelled. She said
she was frustrated because he was distracting her and that's
why she made the mistake. I pointed out that she
(01:53):
made the mistake before he said anything. She started crying
and asked why I was being so critical. I apologize
to her, told her I loved her. We hugged it out,
but then I asked her if she was going to
go and apologize to our thirteen year old. She said no,
because he shouldn't have interrupted her. She said he was
rude and needed to learn not to interrupt. I told
(02:15):
her it's not okay to tell him to shut up.
We went back and forth, and finally I said I
won't be able to respect her as much if she
doesn't apologize. That really hurt her. She said she needs space.
She hasn't said a word to me or him since Thursday.
I know that what I said is harsh, but I
can't respect someone who won't apologize when they make a mistake.
(02:36):
Am I the a whole? My sister says, I am
because I'm not being supportive and our thirteen year old
is a lot well be. I don't think you're the
ahle per se because I absolutely agree with your sentiment.
When you make a mistake, there's nothing wrong or making
you little for apologizing. When you acknowledge that you've done
something wrong and you apologize for it, that actually builds
(02:59):
your character and people gain trust with you. And I
don't see it as your son interrupting. I think he
was trying to contribute. Your wife shot him down because
apparently she was under a lot of stress at that
moment and she just popped at him, which is why
she should apologize. That doesn't take away from your authority
as a parent. It actually helps children understand and know
(03:20):
that you're not infallible. You're still the parent, you're still
the authority, but you can also make mistakes and you
apologize when you do. I think you need to sit
down and have a conversation with your wife. She is
in the wrong, and she's just maybe too proud to
talk to her son, who is eighteen boy, so I'm
pretty sure he doesn't make it easy either. And to Euopie,
(03:40):
I think you could have made your point in a
different way. And what do you guys think? Let me
know in the comment section, and now let's check out
the community comments. Designer Camp twenty two sixty nine says
a lot of people forget that adults aren't always right
and children aren't always wrong. She needs to apologize for
snapping at your child, and DOPI responds, I told her that,
(04:03):
but she said it has nothing to do with the
math problem, and that it's about his bad habit of interrupting.
I think that sense he was trying and accidentally really
to be helpful. That doesn't count as interrupting. Professional Desk
nine three three says, honestly, I did just tell my
thirteen year old that seven times seven is forty nine
(04:24):
and mom got mad because she got it wrong. So
childish to not apologize and DOPEI responds, I did try
to explain that, but he didn't get it. For him,
it's all about the math problem. The fact that he
got it right is all he can focus on. His
mom's frustration doesn't factor in for him. Distinct Mood fifty
three forty four says I was a career teacher. I
(04:46):
had a banner above my whiteboard that said mistakes are
to learn from. I taught my students to own their
mistakes and look at them as learning experiences. Some of
my most memorable moments as a teacher occurred because of
miss mistakes mine and students. Yes, I always owned my mistakes.
Kartashan says, once I was left in charge of my siblings,
(05:09):
one brother dumped a bottle of oil on another brother's head.
I knew that we don't waste paper towels, so in
my twelve year old brain, I thought I needed the
most absorbent thing we have to clean this up because
it was a mess. I decided the best thing to
use was a good thick towel, one of the few
nice things my single mom had. When she got home,
she was mad and I got yelled at and then
(05:31):
she apologized to me. She realized that I was doing
my best with the knowledge that I had didn't know
that oil stained. She acknowledged that I was doing a
favor for her by babysitting my siblings, and that the
boys were the ones that made the mess. I was
trying to be responsible. That apology has stayed with me
(05:52):
as a defining part of our relationship. I love her
for that. She became a better mother, and I am
so a better mom because I have followed her example,
and I apologize to my children every time I mess up.
Not the Ahle and Silvara says, your wife absolutely owes
the thirteen year old in apology. I don't see what
(06:14):
he did as an interruption at all. She was teaching
the nine year old the wrong information. It seems to
me your wife was just embarrassed and is now being
very passive aggressive by giving you the silent treatment, she
is being emotionally immature and needs to step up and apologize.
Opie's InPost update, My wife got up before our alarm
(06:37):
and started cleaning our bathroom. I started the laundry and
made breakfast. She didn't say a word when she sat
down to eat she ate much faster than normal. She
stood up, picked up our four year old, and told
our nine year old to get ready because they were
going to the library. She didn't say anything to our
thirteen year old. I told her we need to talk,
(06:58):
and she shook her head. I followed her upstairs and
insisted that we need to talk. She just kept shaking
her head. She went into our four year old's room
and locked the door. I went downstairs and told our
thirteen and nine year old that we are going to
the dog park. They both asked if mom was okay,
and I said yes and that she needed space. I
(07:19):
grabbed some clothes for our nine year old from the
laundry room and she got changed in the downstairs bathroom.
We are at the dog park and my wife is
refusing to answer my texts. I'm starting to think this
isn't about math. The community A goop is not the
equal that the wife does need to apologize. And with
that update, yeah, she's definitely emotionally immature or something's going
(07:42):
on with her. So now let's move on to the
update to see what happened next. So at the dog park,
I talked to our thirteen year old. I explained to
him that a lot was going on right now and
his mother was overwhelmed. I said that sometimes when a
person is overwhelmed, the next thing that happens, good, bad,
or neutral is the thing that pushes them over, and
(08:03):
the source of that thing, good, bad, or neutral is
what they lash out at. I said his mom was
wrong to lash out at him, but it wasn't his
fault and she didn't really mean it. I said she
was embarrassed and that was why she was avoiding him.
He said that wasn't fair, and we kept going back
and forth. I was trying to help him understand he
(08:23):
didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't feel bad, but only
could focus on was that he was being treated unfairly.
I told him that it wasn'tnfair, but that his mom
isn't perfect and everyone makes mistakes. I said, sometimes he
is unfair, but we forgive him because we love him.
I said forgiving his mom even though she was wrong,
would be a nice way to show his love for her,
(08:46):
but that he doesn't have to again. He just said
that the situation was unfair, which it is it really is.
After the dog park, I took our thirteen year old
to a friend's house, and our nine year old to
a friend of mine's house. I went home and made dinner. However,
my wife went out for dinner with our four year old,
so she didn't get home until after I had put
(09:07):
everything away. I told her that we had to talk
now that the kids aren't here, and that not talking
wasn't an option anymore. She still ignored me, so I
said that if she wouldn't engage with me, I would
have to call our sisters and get them to come
over to help me. She got very angry, but she
finally engaged. She told me that she is drowning. She
(09:29):
said work is exhausting, and every day when she gets home,
her patience is already below zero. She is scared and
upset by our four year old's stomach issues. She said
he threw up again at dinner. She really shouldn't have
taken him out to eat, because we are supposed to
keep track of everything he eats before throwing up or
not throwing up before the appointment today, which is impossible
(09:51):
to do at a restaurant. But I didn't mention that.
She said she can't take our thirteen year old behavior anymore.
I said, he we didn't do anything wrong that day.
She said that when we were that age, if we
interrupted our parents to tell them they were wrong, we
would have been punished severely. She said, we raised a
spoiled and titled child. She said she can never get
(10:13):
any piece in quiet in our own home that we
worked hard to pay for because we have a spoiled
team that refuses to ever stop talking or making noise.
I said, we have been working on those behavior and
he has been improving. But she lashed out when he
was trying to be helpful, and that sends the wrong message.
She told me that I'm not supporting her. She said
(10:34):
she needs things to change. She said, we need to
crack down and stop being so lenient. If he plays
the recorder after we've told him he's done for the night,
we need to take it. If he interrupts, he needs
to go straight to his room. If he argues about curfew,
he needs to lose privileges. I told her we need
to take a step back. I said, if she is overwhelmed,
(10:56):
she needs to take a break. I told her this
heightened emotional star is a bad time to make huge
household changes. I suggested, like many commenters did, that she
get a hotel for a few days and to decompress.
She said she's not the problem. I didn't say she was,
and he is. She said he was bad from the beginning.
(11:17):
She said when our daughter didn't have all his issues,
she thought it was because she is a girl. But
our four year old boy is also better behaved, so
he is the problem. She also said I've always seen
it and used to admit it, but stopped to make
her look crazy. For context, I used to joke that
our thirteen year old is challenging because he likes to
(11:39):
be outside so much, loves animals, and loves playing on
his recorder. I want to stress that this was a joke.
The reason I stopped making this joke is because I
noticed my wife didn't find it funny anymore. This was
years ago, anyway. I said all that, and she said no,
that I saw even then that he is wrong, but
stop acknowledging it to make her feel like the problem.
(12:04):
She also said she has been seeing an online therapist.
I had no idea, she said. She didn't tell me
because she was embarrassed. Her therapist told her that our
son has dangerous tendencies and shows signs of being contemptuous
towards women because he doesn't respect his mother. I had
no idea how to respond to that. I said, any
(12:24):
therapist who would say something like that about a child
they've never met shouldn't be licensed, and if it's an
online therapist, for all she knows, they aren't. At the
end of our conversation, she agreed to go to the
hotel only if she took our four year old with her,
because she wanted to be the one to take him
to his medical appointment. I didn't think that was a
(12:46):
good idea at all. However, she ended up just taking
him and going. I picked up the kids and brought
them home. They sensed that something is wrong and were
very subdued this morning getting ready for school. I talked
to my boss when I came in, and he is
going to let me leave early to go to our
four year old's medical appointment. I'm hoping it will be
good news and that will make us all feel less
(13:07):
on edge. Now that's the end of that update. And
later OPI made a post in a different subreddit, and
I'm just going to read the part that is more
relevant to this story than the rest. Now let's move
on our son is a good kid. He doesn't steal, hit, curse,
or lie. He argued. He talked too much and he complained.
(13:28):
But isn't all that a symptom of cleverness? He was
too much like us. However, he was also nothing like us.
This child we created, But isn't that good? Don't we
want our children to be individuals? Yes, the arguing and
interrupting had to be curbed, but we worked on it.
He improved, he started to mature. Life was a struggle,
(13:48):
but he wasn't the struggle. This parenting thing is hard.
My wife cracked. It happens. We've all been there. Our
son corrected a mistake she made, and she was embarrassed.
She screamed at him. Shut up. I asked her to apologize,
because he didn't deserve that. She shut down. She told
me that she was overwhelmed. I get it. I'm overwhelmed too.
(14:09):
I think I've been overwhelmed for a long time and
just refused to acknowledge it. I told her to take
a break. She took a break, and then I found
out that my wife, who I have always trusted, lied
to me. She said she quit her job. That was
a lie. She did not quit. She was suspended, and
she will likely be fired on Friday or possibly next week.
(14:32):
She has been telling me all year that her co
workers are incompetent and she is the only one doing
her job correctly in actuality. She has been in a
performance improvement plan for months. Why was she suspended? She
was telling a co worker that he needed to finish
something by the end of the month to keep them
on track for a February third deadline. He interrupted her
(14:55):
to tell her that deadline was March second. She screamed
at him to shut up and not interrupt her. She
did the same thing to her co worker she did
to our son. The only difference is our household doesn't
have an har department. She lied to me? Is that
what I should be hung up on? Probably not. Here's
what's killing me. Here's what I can't say in real
(15:17):
life to anyone. So I'll tell you. I always thought
she was sharp, and I loved that. I thought I
was so sophisticated for recognizing her elegance and worth. I
felt special for loving her. But maybe she isn't sharp.
Maybe she is just thin skinned and irritable. Yeah, she
lied to me, But maybe I lied to myself first, OPI,
(15:39):
I am so sorry that you and your family are
going through all of this. Your wife is definitely going
through something that she needs to put a lot of
work to get through. She will have to apologize at
some point and will have to regain trust. It's either
that or well it is the end. That is a
decision that you and her will have to make. Maybe
once she's had time to calm down and be absolutely
(16:01):
honest with herself and you. In the meantime, you'll be
Here's wishing you and your kids the best. Take care
and thanks for sharing. And now let's finish this video
with a mood booster post. This post is from the
subreddit petty Revenge and it's by you, sir deleted. I'll
do what I want in my own yard, Okay, I'll
make it impossible to enjoy your air. Last spring, our
(16:23):
old neighbor who was a saint sold her house and
moved away. The people that moved in were awful. The
guy who will call Pete owns some sort of new
black Mustang that sounds like it has no muffler, and
he revs it up and down the subdivision streets in
the evenings. Literally five days a week when a lot
of people, myself included, sit on the back porch and
(16:46):
watch TV during the summer, it is relentless. This guy
also drives up and down the state highway that is
on the other side of my house, doing the same thing,
but louder. Because it's a fifty five mile for our
speed limit. You can hear it for miles. And he
has friends over regularly in the backyard and they sit
(17:07):
there on the weekends and some weeknights reving up the car.
It truly is so loud that you cannot do anything
but wait for him to be done. There was a
big Facebook conversation in the HOA group, and a bunch
of neighbors politely asked him not to do this. Pete's
exact response, I pay a lot of money for this house.
I'll do what I want in my own yard, and
(17:29):
those streets are public. Well, I didn't like that, so
here's what I did next with a little context. Our
subdivision has about one hundred and fifty houses on about
three hundred acres. It's big. Most of the properties in
this subdivision are between one to four acres in size.
I have a three acre corner due to an agreed
upon land split and sale ten years ago between the hoa,
(17:52):
all neighbors within the vicinity, and the former owners. My
next door neighbor's house is on the smallest piece of
property in the subdivision, at zero point forty five acres.
In our neighborhood, we have ten foot privacy fences that
are white vinyl. The only side of Pete's house not
boardered it by somebody else's privacy fence is the signe
(18:13):
that my house sits on. Well, I know from fifteen
years of living here that anytime I have a fire
on the side of the yard next to Pete's house,
the smoke is guaranteed to travel in the direction of
Pete's house. I know this because I couldn't ever have
a fire when my old neighbor was outside, as it
would literally fill her backyard with smoke if ever the
(18:35):
wood had even a hint of moisture in it. So
I moved my fire pit about a dozen years ago
to the other side of my house and towards the road,
so that I could be a good neighbor. And you know,
Pete letting me know that he wouldn't quit making noise
reminded me that I just loved having my fire pit
(18:56):
right in the middle of my backyard. It took me
a single weekend to dig up the pavers and blogs,
move them back to my preferred spot, and get myself
a fire going in my new fire pit. I just
need to wait until Pete had people over. I made
sure the inaugural fire was a good one. Pete had
friends over. It was a nice day, and so I
(19:17):
started the fire, got it just about started, and then
I added all the wettest, crossest wood I could, and
about ten minutes later, Pete and all of his friends
were visibly upset by the stench, so they all went in.
They came back out. A little later, I added more wet,
nasty wood, they went in again. I kept that up
the entire day, and then I added a bunch of
(19:40):
grass clippings to keep it going overnight. The next day,
still smoldering, still smelling offal I put out a Facebook
post on the HOA website that let people know I'd
be continuing to utilize my fire pit as often as
possible so they could bring me their lawn scraps. I
had about twenty people respond in a few hours, saying
(20:01):
their clippings were all mine. I kept that fire going.
My dogs are good alarms, and they rush outside anytime
anybody is in Pete's backyard, so I would hear the
dogs scramble, go out and add more clippings. After about
three weeks, Pete and his wife came out and very
kindly asked me what was going on with the fire pit.
(20:25):
She very politely informed me that her hair would smell
like a campfire if she went into her backyard for
any amount of time, and they could smell it coming
into their house through their duct work. He said I
was making it hard for him to enjoy his backyard
with his friends. They asked me if I could please
back with the fire because I probably didn't know that
(20:45):
it was impacting so much on their home life. I
looked at him and his wife, and I said that
it was clear that sometimes we didn't recognize how big
of an effect something could have on our neighbors until
they told us about it. But then I said, as
objectively as possible, that I normally live by the same
I'll do what I want in my yard thought process
(21:06):
as Pete does. I have a right to enjoy my yard.
I looked at Pete dead in the eyes and said,
and I know you support that because of how the
conversation concluded about your car, right Pete. He looked at
me like I had scratched his favorite CD. He knew
what I was doing. And his wife looked at him
and it just dawned on her. She said, she gets it,
(21:29):
and we won't hear the Mustang anymore. I said, thanks,
I took a gamble and put the fire out right
after that. It was the right call. I haven't talked
to them much since. I'm not too concerned about that
because I haven't heard the Mustang since either. All in all,
a good little case of petty revenge. Petty revenge that
(21:50):
curbed the behavior of an a whole neighbor. Nicely done,
oh Pee, fantastic, Thanks so much for sharing. And that's
it for today's video. Thank you so much for taking
the time to watch it now. If you've gotten to
this point in the video, I assume that you like
these stories that I'm reading out, so here are a
couple more that you might enjoy. And if you don't
(22:10):
have any time to watch another story right now, save
it for later. And also, don't forget to hit that
subscribe button,
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