September 27, 2025 • 22 mins
Relationship Stories - After years of harsh treatment, OP told her mom that her dad was the nicer parent. Her mom cut her off in retaliation—but instead of feeling hurt, OP felt relieved, free, and finally at peace.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the Subredded A Mighty a Whole,
and it's by user moist West forty two twelve. Am
I the a hole for telling my mom she wasn't
the better parent and that it sounded like heaven when
she said she'd never talk to me again. I twenty
three female, and my mom forty nine female, have never
(00:27):
really gotten along growing up. She treated me differently from
my siblings. I'm the second oldest of four, and she
was always stricter and harsher with me. If I brought
home anything less than an A, I got grounded. Even
one B on an assignment meant trouble. My siblings never
had that rule. On top of that, she always commented
(00:48):
on my weight. She called me the fat kid, even
though I was thin. She never said these things to
my siblings, just me. As I got older, I realized
she liked getting a reaction out of me. At first,
I defended myself, but when I stopped, she escalated and
even got physical. On my eighteenth birthday, while I was
(01:09):
still in high school, she kicked me out. By then,
I was already staying with a friend most of the time,
just to get away from her. Now, as an adult,
I hardly speak to her. At family events. We might
exchange a few words, but that's it. Recently, I was
at my sister's place and she had my mom on speakerphone.
(01:30):
I was in the background talking to my brother and
he asked who I thought was nicer, Mom or Dad?
Without thinking, I said dad. My dad wasn't great either.
He wasn't around much and could be harsh, but compared
to my mom, he's nicer. I also talked to him more,
though not a ton. My mom overheard, asked what I said,
(01:51):
and I repeated it. She snapped and said she'd never
speak to me again. I said, you're saying that like
it's a bad thing. Honestly, it's like heaven. She didn't
hang up on me, but ended the call on my sister,
who was the one talking to her. Later, my sister
texted me that my mom took me off her car insurance.
(02:11):
I never asked to be on it anyway, she added
me without telling me because it lowered her own rate.
One day, she just said, hey, I put you on
my plan. I didn't argue, but now I see it
was just another way to control me. She's done stuff
like this before. When I was younger. She'd put my
phone on her plan and shut it off whenever she
(02:32):
got mad. This time was the same. After removing me,
she told my sister, since she thinks her dad is
the better parent, let him put it on his insurance.
I never said better parent. I just said was nicer.
She also told my sister she hoped my car got
impounded and that she could turn it off through on Star.
(02:52):
My car is fully paid off, so I doubt that's
even possible, But the fact she said it was ridiculous.
I didn't need her insurance anyway. Before she added me,
I was paying for my own. After she removed me,
I just went back to mine. Meanwhile, my sister said
I was too harsh and should apologize because mom has
done so much for you. I asked what she meant,
(03:15):
and she said she put a roof over your head
and gave you food and clothes. That's literally the bare
minimum of parenting. Now my mom has gone to my
grandparents and aunts saying I was disrespectful and need to apologize.
From my perspective, I just answered my brother's question honestly,
so read it am I the a whole. Of course,
(03:36):
you're not the ahle will be and sorry, but your
sister's got it wrong. Putting a roof over your head,
giving you food and clothes isn't the bare minimum of
parenting in my opinion, that's just part of the bare minimum.
The other part that your sister is missing is teaching
your kids' skills, teaching them what's right and wrong, teaching
them to make decisions, teaching them that there are rights
(03:57):
and responsibilities, teaching them to have self worth, teaching them
to regulate their emotions so they don't get controlled by them.
And most importantly, which your mom never understood, is that
love is unconditional. It's not a if you don't do
this for me, I don't love you. That's how people
grow up and end up being in crappy relationships where
they get emotionally manipulated. So no, OPI I don't think
(04:20):
you owe your mother an apology at all. I think
she owes you an apology and an admission of guilt
for being the crappy parent that she was, because the
way she brought you up was crap. And honestly, I'd
be side eyeing anybody who defends her parenting style. What
do you guys think? Let me know in the comment section,
and now let's move on to the community comments. Ambitious
(04:42):
Border nine oh six says objectively, your mom is an
a hole, but your sister is approaching a hole status
with her comment. You didn't ask to be born. It
is your parents' job to feed, clothe, and house you.
You may want to remind your sister that your mom
kicked you out at eighteen, and so her suggestion that
are roof over your head merits and apology is wide
(05:02):
off the mark. You're not the akle. Your family meh,
not so sure. Q Wolf ninety three eleven says not
the akle. All you did was state your honest opinion
about your mother, who is an akle. Don't take their
opinion for anything. You don't need the approval of a
family that is in the pocket of an abuser. Sorryop
(05:23):
you should probably cut off contact from all of them.
Anxious Routine five five two six says not the akle.
And she stopped providing a roof over your head while
you were still in high school, so your sister's argument
really doesn't hold water. Laden's Trees says not the akle.
Did your siblings ever notice the way she treated you
(05:44):
compared to them. Did she bad mouth you to them,
convincing them that she was harder on you because you
were bad? Or were they just afraid to end up
being treated like you were that they allowed themselves to
be convinced. Suggest to your sister and other siblings, but
it's time for them to set aside childlike thinking and
embrace adult thinking. They should not hold to the thinking
(06:06):
of their childhood and embrace mother's treatment of them and
of you. Use their observation and sense of fairness to
make up their minds. Amazon Fairy says siblings can and
are raised differently in the same household. Your sister has
a different relationship with your mother. You should explain that
to her. You're not the A whole. You're allowed to
have feelings. Why should your mother's feelings supersede your own feelings.
(06:30):
You didn't call her old and decrepit, which could be
compared to her body shaming you in your formative years.
The community agrees that OPI is not the A hole,
stated that the mom is the a whole and that
she should talk to her sister to take off those
rose tinted glasses for her mom now OPI did not
reply to any comments, so we move on straight to
the update to see how this story ends. Thank you
(06:53):
all for your kind words. Honestly, reading your responses really
helped me step back and validate my own perspective. Growing
up with my mom has always been difficult. She's narcissistic, controlling,
and manipulative. Her whole family has mostly tolerated it, which
made me feel like I was constantly in the wrong,
always backed into a corner. This situation helped me realize
(07:15):
I needed to step out of that mindset. I need
to see my experiences from my own perspective and recognize
that my feelings and reactions are valid. For instance, talking
to my grandmother about the situation confirmed what I already knew.
My mom has always treated everyone poorly, and it's not
just me. Most family members tolerate her behavior to avoid conflict,
(07:40):
even my younger siblings. I've always been outspoken about her
treatment of us, which has made me seem difficult, but
in reality, I've just been honest about her behavior. As
a result of this recent incident, I've decided to go
low contact with my brother. He has been influenced by
my mom and started calling in texting me with insults
(08:01):
about things I supposedly did wrong, things that only make
sense from her perspective. I'll probably also go low contact
with my sister because I've realized she shares information about
my life with my mom, even after I've asked her
not to. I want to protect my boundaries and maintain
some privacy regarding my mom. I'll be moving to no
(08:23):
contact I was already pretty much no contact, but also
I'll be including avoiding family functions where she's present and
limit any other interactions so that I can protect my
mental health and break the cycle of manipulation I've experienced
my whole life. Thank you again to everyone who offered
support and advice. Willoughby, there's not much to say, but
(08:44):
I think you're making all the right decisions. Some people
might say, but family's family. The thing is, when family's toxic,
you really don't need them in your life. So here's
wishing you all the best in the future. Ope, thanks
so much for sharing and take care, and now let's
move on to the next post that also has an update.
This post is from the subredded am I the Ahole,
(09:05):
and it's by user No. Two eight six y four.
Am I the acle for removing the ladder on my
bunk bed so my niece can't get to me. My sister,
female twenty four, just moved back home with her husband
and their daughter five and son less than one. My
sister was able to convince my parents to make me,
fifteen female, share my bedroom with her daughter because she
(09:28):
and her husband would already be sharing a bedroom with
their baby. She also wanted us to switch bedrooms too,
because my bedroom is her old bedroom and a lot
larger than their spare room, which was my old bedroom.
My parents at least said no to that. We ended
up having my bed replaced with bunk beds so it
wouldn't be too crowded. I'd sleep on the top bunk,
(09:50):
and my niece started in the middle of the night
climbing up into my bed to sleep with me because
she was scared. I guess she gets scared a lot
at night, but more here and will go sleep with
her parents when she's scared. She is also too scared
to go down the hallway to her parents' room because
she has to go past the big dark windows in
(10:11):
the hallway and past the staircase, which is scary because
it's a dark hole. They tried putting night lights, but
that made it worse. I usually sleep deeply so I
don't notice her get in, but I wake up sometimes
after she crawls in because it gets really hot, and
she's kind of gross because she's sticky with sweat, and
(10:31):
I just don't like that. So I realized I don't
need the ladder to get to the top bunk, and
ended up using a screwdriver to remove the ladder from
the bunk bets so she can't get to me. I
guess she hadn't been sleeping well since I removed the ladder,
because the school got involved about her being tired all
the time and they got in trouble. My sister thinks
I'm being petty and I can just suck it up
(10:51):
and let her sleep with me if she's scared. I
still don't want to, though, will it be in my opinion, No,
you're not the ahle and you're not the one needs
to suck it up. It's your sister that has to
suck it up. If her little girl, her child, has
a problem sleeping, she and the father are the ones
that are responsible to see what's going on there and
see how they can fix it. Not you. So the
(11:12):
only logical solution to me is that the little girl
needs to go sleep in her parents' bedroom. That's it.
And if they're crowded, they just need to suck it up.
And what do you guys think? Let me know in
the comments section, and now let's check out the community comments.
Frey as child says, not the a hole. You removed
the ladder because you were afraid she would climb it
and fall and get hurt. If she is having trouble sleeping,
(11:35):
then her parents have to work that out. Not you.
Friendly mom says, not the a whole. You're fifteen but
still legally a child too. You shouldn't be responsible for
a child that isn't yours. Tell your parents that your
needs and your ability to sleep at night are also important,
that your tiredness is impacting your schooling and ability to concentrate,
(11:57):
and it's time to revisit the sleeping arrangements it's not working.
Also tell them that having a five year old climbing
ladders in the middle of the night in the darken
without some kind of supervision is incredibly unsafe for the
five year old and this needs to be changed immediately.
You need your bedroom back and your sister and her
partner can sleep with and look after their own kids
(12:19):
at night. And stony wan Kblomi says, not the ahle.
You already had to give up your privacy for a
kid that isn't yours. This crap makes me so mad
because parents are so dang quick to take stuff away
from their kids with no consent just because they can.
If your sister and her husband don't want their child
(12:39):
in their room, then your parents should have taken her
into theirs before forcing her on you. You didn't ask
for your sister to move her whole family into your home,
and you sure as hell didn't ask to give away
your privacy. You should not have to give up your
bed on top of everything else. Your sister thinks your petty, well,
I think she and her husband need to step up,
(13:01):
be adults and help their child themselves instead of trying
to pass off responsibility onto another child. Their child is struggling,
and that's on them, not you. Additional information from Opie's comments.
So a lot of people were asking why I didn't
just move into the smaller spare room instead of sharing
with my niece. But that really isn't an option. If
(13:23):
I did that, I'd have to either get rid of
a ton of my stuff or pack it away somewhere,
and I don't even know for how long. My parents
don't want that either. They told me they'd rather I
keep my room. Part of it is also that they
don't want my sister and her family getting too comfortable
in the bigger bedroom, which used to be hers before
I moved in there. They don't want this arrangement to
(13:45):
turn into something permanent. As for the latter thing, my
parents are completely fine with me taking it off. I
don't need it to climb up anyway, and without it,
my niece can't sneak into my bed anymore. I'm actually
okay with sharing the room now that the latter is gone,
because that was the real problem for me. I just
don't like someone else in my bed. I wake up
(14:06):
hot and uncomfortable, and I don't want to be disturbed
in the middle of the night. I like my own
space and I like my things. I just feel wrong
to have her climbing in with me. People also suggested
stools or other ways she could climb up, but that's
not a big deal. If my sister ever tried to
give her something like that, I could just hide it
before I go to bed. I doubt my parents would
(14:28):
even bother buying something like that anyway. Other suggestions like
the basement or attic don't work. The basement doesn't exist,
and the attic isn't even a real room. It's way
too short to be used for sleeping. The bunk beds
wouldn't fit in any of the other rooms either. My
sister talked about trying light through the window, but that
would be a pain to set up and still wouldn't help.
(14:50):
And if I had to store my stuff somewhere else
to make room for her, my sister would just complain
about it being in the way. And for anyone wondering,
my niece does know she's not supposed to touch my stuff,
and I usually have my AirPods in any way, so
noise isn't the issue. It was never about me not
wanting to share a room at all. It's that I
don't want to share my bed. Taking off the ladder
(15:12):
fix that problem. Well. The community agrees with p is
not the equal and that the sister and her husband
need to do something about this because it is their child.
So now let's move on to the update to see
how this story ends. My parents didn't make me put
back up the ladder and told my sister and her
husband that they had to figure something out. So my
(15:33):
niece started sleeping in with sister and her husband in
their room. It was too crowded for her husband, though,
so he started sleeping downstairs. But it didn't work out
either because my dad gets up really early. He doesn't
get up early for work, actually, just to do other stuff.
So my sister and her husband started fighting a lot,
and he left last week and I think he is
(15:55):
now staying with a friend. So now my sister has
to take care of the kids on her own most
and apparently it's my fault because her daughter misses her
dad too, and he would still be here if I
didn't make a big deal out of everything. Also, to
clear some things up, my parents told me that they
sister and brother in law were having money problems. They
(16:16):
said they were going to let them live here for
a year to get back on track, but that's it.
They also never forced me to be responsible for my niece,
and I actually did talk to my dad about moving
my old bed back in. Now that my niece isn't
sleeping in here anymore, and he said he would have
time to help me with that this weekend. Wow, OPI,
(16:37):
your brother in law has the temperance of try spaghetti,
and your sister lacks all kind of accountability blaming you
for him leaving. No, Opie, that isn't your fault at all,
and I'm sure you know that. So here's wishing you
and your dad have a very nice weekend putting that
bed back together. Take care, op and thanks for sharing.
And now let's finish this video with a mood booster. Post.
(17:00):
Post is from the subreddit malicious Compliance and it's by
user sober on life. If we want your input, we
will ask for it period. A few months ago, a
new business investor at work came on board as a manager,
and he has been an absolute hard ass. He is
cracking down on anything he considers to be a waste
of time, and he is unforgiving. After a week of
(17:22):
watching us work, he and the other managers held a
company wide meeting to iron out some wrinkles in the
company that he observed since he started. It wasn't an
open dialogue, though, in fact, that's one of the things
he wanted to wrinkle out it was essentially just twenty
minutes of it's our way or the highway. Deal with it.
(17:44):
The line, if we want your input, we will ask
for it period really stuck with me, though, and it
was made abundantly clear afterwards that it was directed at me.
The company has had a big problem recently with employee turnover,
and I was in the position to know. So why
since I interact with everyone through my role. Essentially, people
(18:04):
are quitting because the work they were doing wasn't what
they signed up to do. The phrase if I knew
this is what I would be doing, I wouldn't have
accepted the job was a common sentiment. They accepted the
job under the impression that they would be serving customers,
answering emails and phone calls, general customer service stuff, but
instead they spent about ninety percent of their time in
(18:25):
a hot warehouse packing online orders over and over again.
I shared that with management. I let them know what
the people leaving were saying in case they wanted to
take that into account moving forward. They just thanked me
and I left. But the new manager hated that so
much that he decided to make a meeting about giving
them unsolicited advice. They spoke with me privately afterwards and
(18:49):
referred back to when I told him about what the
quitting employee said, and they told me that the way
they interpreted that was that I was implying that they
were being deceitful when hiring people. I told them, no,
I don't think that at all. I was just relaying
what those people were saying about how they felt they
didn't care. They doubled it down and said again, if
(19:09):
we want your input, we will ask for it period.
That's how I knew it was directed at me. I
ask them for clarification, like what constitutes advice or input,
and the new boss said, unless you're asking us a
question about the work you're supposed to be doing, we
don't want to hear it. We don't want your opinion
and how you think we should handle situations. We don't
(19:31):
want your ideas on how you think the business can
be better run, and we don't want gossip about what
other people are saying about us. Just focus on your job. Fine,
then I'll roll with that, no problem. I've worked for
them for years and they always appreciated my ideas, opinions
and input up until that point, but hey, if they
(19:52):
don't want my input anymore, that's their choice, and I'll
respect that. I knew it was just the new boss
saying that stuff, since this sort of attitude with them
only started when he did. But the others either agreed
with him or were to intimidate it to disagree. Either way, whatever,
I'll comply with their request. Since then, the problem hasn't
(20:13):
been fixed. We've had two more people come and go,
both of them because they didn't sign up for this shocker.
A third one started about five weeks ago, and he
has taken his frustration in a different direction. I've overheard
him complaining over and over again to other people about
how he didn't sign on to stand around in a
hot warehouse for hours packing online orders. But instead of
(20:36):
quitting like everyone else, he just got angrier and angrier,
and then he hulked out. I was upstairs at my
desk when I started to hear smashing. I went down
to the warehouse to see what was going on, and
this guy was taking customers packages and smashing them out
of frustration. A few others in the warehouse gathered and
just watched an amusement. It was like something out of
(20:57):
a cartoon. The new boss heard the commotion and came down.
Long story short, the guy was fired, and I was
asked if I knew why he flipped out. I said,
I don't know what happened exactly to cause him to
flip out, but I know that for weeks he's been
complaining about not signing up to work in a hot
warehouse for hours. Maybe he just reached a tipping point
(21:18):
about it. Not sure, And he said, well, why didn't
you tell us so? Of course, I said, because last
time I told you that employees were complaining about that,
you accused me of implying that you were being deceitful
when hiring them. Then you told me to stop gossiping.
He had to eat crow a bit on that, which
was just so effing delicious to witness. But I was
(21:40):
also reprimanded for taking the request too literally, and he
accused me of being petty whatever, though I don't care,
because I had to adjust the stock levels for the
goods that had to be replaced, and they lost about
ten thousand dollars in the rampaign. Some of the items
that were smashed cost two thousand dollars each. Learning that
made the whole thing worthwhile perhaps enjoying that does make
(22:04):
me petty. Well, I gotta say too many people are
saying they didn't sign up for this, so the company
was actually being deceitful in their hiring practices. Other than that,
hopefully that idiotic manager has learned his lesson. Thanks so
much for sharing. Ope, and that's it for today's video.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch it. Now.
(22:25):
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assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy.
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Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the Subredded A Mighty a Whole,
and it's by user moist West forty two twelve. Am
I the a hole for telling my mom she wasn't
the better parent and that it sounded like heaven when
she said she'd never talk to me again. I twenty
three female, and my mom forty nine female, have never
(00:27):
really gotten along growing up. She treated me differently from
my siblings. I'm the second oldest of four, and she
was always stricter and harsher with me. If I brought
home anything less than an A, I got grounded. Even
one B on an assignment meant trouble. My siblings never
had that rule. On top of that, she always commented
(00:48):
on my weight. She called me the fat kid, even
though I was thin. She never said these things to
my siblings, just me. As I got older, I realized
she liked getting a reaction out of me. At first,
I defended myself, but when I stopped, she escalated and
even got physical. On my eighteenth birthday, while I was
(01:09):
still in high school, she kicked me out. By then,
I was already staying with a friend most of the time,
just to get away from her. Now, as an adult,
I hardly speak to her. At family events. We might
exchange a few words, but that's it. Recently, I was
at my sister's place and she had my mom on speakerphone.
(01:30):
I was in the background talking to my brother and
he asked who I thought was nicer, Mom or Dad?
Without thinking, I said dad. My dad wasn't great either.
He wasn't around much and could be harsh, but compared
to my mom, he's nicer. I also talked to him more,
though not a ton. My mom overheard, asked what I said,
(01:51):
and I repeated it. She snapped and said she'd never
speak to me again. I said, you're saying that like
it's a bad thing. Honestly, it's like heaven. She didn't
hang up on me, but ended the call on my sister,
who was the one talking to her. Later, my sister
texted me that my mom took me off her car insurance.
(02:11):
I never asked to be on it anyway, she added
me without telling me because it lowered her own rate.
One day, she just said, hey, I put you on
my plan. I didn't argue, but now I see it
was just another way to control me. She's done stuff
like this before. When I was younger. She'd put my
phone on her plan and shut it off whenever she
(02:32):
got mad. This time was the same. After removing me,
she told my sister, since she thinks her dad is
the better parent, let him put it on his insurance.
I never said better parent. I just said was nicer.
She also told my sister she hoped my car got
impounded and that she could turn it off through on Star.
(02:52):
My car is fully paid off, so I doubt that's
even possible, But the fact she said it was ridiculous.
I didn't need her insurance anyway. Before she added me,
I was paying for my own. After she removed me,
I just went back to mine. Meanwhile, my sister said
I was too harsh and should apologize because mom has
done so much for you. I asked what she meant,
(03:15):
and she said she put a roof over your head
and gave you food and clothes. That's literally the bare
minimum of parenting. Now my mom has gone to my
grandparents and aunts saying I was disrespectful and need to apologize.
From my perspective, I just answered my brother's question honestly,
so read it am I the a whole. Of course,
(03:36):
you're not the ahle will be and sorry, but your
sister's got it wrong. Putting a roof over your head,
giving you food and clothes isn't the bare minimum of
parenting in my opinion, that's just part of the bare minimum.
The other part that your sister is missing is teaching
your kids' skills, teaching them what's right and wrong, teaching
them to make decisions, teaching them that there are rights
(03:57):
and responsibilities, teaching them to have self worth, teaching them
to regulate their emotions so they don't get controlled by them.
And most importantly, which your mom never understood, is that
love is unconditional. It's not a if you don't do
this for me, I don't love you. That's how people
grow up and end up being in crappy relationships where
they get emotionally manipulated. So no, OPI I don't think
(04:20):
you owe your mother an apology at all. I think
she owes you an apology and an admission of guilt
for being the crappy parent that she was, because the
way she brought you up was crap. And honestly, I'd
be side eyeing anybody who defends her parenting style. What
do you guys think? Let me know in the comment section,
and now let's move on to the community comments. Ambitious
(04:42):
Border nine oh six says objectively, your mom is an
a hole, but your sister is approaching a hole status
with her comment. You didn't ask to be born. It
is your parents' job to feed, clothe, and house you.
You may want to remind your sister that your mom
kicked you out at eighteen, and so her suggestion that
are roof over your head merits and apology is wide
(05:02):
off the mark. You're not the akle. Your family meh,
not so sure. Q Wolf ninety three eleven says not
the akle. All you did was state your honest opinion
about your mother, who is an akle. Don't take their
opinion for anything. You don't need the approval of a
family that is in the pocket of an abuser. Sorryop
(05:23):
you should probably cut off contact from all of them.
Anxious Routine five five two six says not the akle.
And she stopped providing a roof over your head while
you were still in high school, so your sister's argument
really doesn't hold water. Laden's Trees says not the akle.
Did your siblings ever notice the way she treated you
(05:44):
compared to them. Did she bad mouth you to them,
convincing them that she was harder on you because you
were bad? Or were they just afraid to end up
being treated like you were that they allowed themselves to
be convinced. Suggest to your sister and other siblings, but
it's time for them to set aside childlike thinking and
embrace adult thinking. They should not hold to the thinking
(06:06):
of their childhood and embrace mother's treatment of them and
of you. Use their observation and sense of fairness to
make up their minds. Amazon Fairy says siblings can and
are raised differently in the same household. Your sister has
a different relationship with your mother. You should explain that
to her. You're not the A whole. You're allowed to
have feelings. Why should your mother's feelings supersede your own feelings.
(06:30):
You didn't call her old and decrepit, which could be
compared to her body shaming you in your formative years.
The community agrees that OPI is not the A hole,
stated that the mom is the a whole and that
she should talk to her sister to take off those
rose tinted glasses for her mom now OPI did not
reply to any comments, so we move on straight to
the update to see how this story ends. Thank you
(06:53):
all for your kind words. Honestly, reading your responses really
helped me step back and validate my own perspective. Growing
up with my mom has always been difficult. She's narcissistic, controlling,
and manipulative. Her whole family has mostly tolerated it, which
made me feel like I was constantly in the wrong,
always backed into a corner. This situation helped me realize
(07:15):
I needed to step out of that mindset. I need
to see my experiences from my own perspective and recognize
that my feelings and reactions are valid. For instance, talking
to my grandmother about the situation confirmed what I already knew.
My mom has always treated everyone poorly, and it's not
just me. Most family members tolerate her behavior to avoid conflict,
(07:40):
even my younger siblings. I've always been outspoken about her
treatment of us, which has made me seem difficult, but
in reality, I've just been honest about her behavior. As
a result of this recent incident, I've decided to go
low contact with my brother. He has been influenced by
my mom and started calling in texting me with insults
(08:01):
about things I supposedly did wrong, things that only make
sense from her perspective. I'll probably also go low contact
with my sister because I've realized she shares information about
my life with my mom, even after I've asked her
not to. I want to protect my boundaries and maintain
some privacy regarding my mom. I'll be moving to no
(08:23):
contact I was already pretty much no contact, but also
I'll be including avoiding family functions where she's present and
limit any other interactions so that I can protect my
mental health and break the cycle of manipulation I've experienced
my whole life. Thank you again to everyone who offered
support and advice. Willoughby, there's not much to say, but
(08:44):
I think you're making all the right decisions. Some people
might say, but family's family. The thing is, when family's toxic,
you really don't need them in your life. So here's
wishing you all the best in the future. Ope, thanks
so much for sharing and take care, and now let's
move on to the next post that also has an update.
This post is from the subredded am I the Ahole,
(09:05):
and it's by user No. Two eight six y four.
Am I the acle for removing the ladder on my
bunk bed so my niece can't get to me. My sister,
female twenty four, just moved back home with her husband
and their daughter five and son less than one. My
sister was able to convince my parents to make me,
fifteen female, share my bedroom with her daughter because she
(09:28):
and her husband would already be sharing a bedroom with
their baby. She also wanted us to switch bedrooms too,
because my bedroom is her old bedroom and a lot
larger than their spare room, which was my old bedroom.
My parents at least said no to that. We ended
up having my bed replaced with bunk beds so it
wouldn't be too crowded. I'd sleep on the top bunk,
(09:50):
and my niece started in the middle of the night
climbing up into my bed to sleep with me because
she was scared. I guess she gets scared a lot
at night, but more here and will go sleep with
her parents when she's scared. She is also too scared
to go down the hallway to her parents' room because
she has to go past the big dark windows in
(10:11):
the hallway and past the staircase, which is scary because
it's a dark hole. They tried putting night lights, but
that made it worse. I usually sleep deeply so I
don't notice her get in, but I wake up sometimes
after she crawls in because it gets really hot, and
she's kind of gross because she's sticky with sweat, and
(10:31):
I just don't like that. So I realized I don't
need the ladder to get to the top bunk, and
ended up using a screwdriver to remove the ladder from
the bunk bets so she can't get to me. I
guess she hadn't been sleeping well since I removed the ladder,
because the school got involved about her being tired all
the time and they got in trouble. My sister thinks
I'm being petty and I can just suck it up
(10:51):
and let her sleep with me if she's scared. I
still don't want to, though, will it be in my opinion, No,
you're not the ahle and you're not the one needs
to suck it up. It's your sister that has to
suck it up. If her little girl, her child, has
a problem sleeping, she and the father are the ones
that are responsible to see what's going on there and
see how they can fix it. Not you. So the
(11:12):
only logical solution to me is that the little girl
needs to go sleep in her parents' bedroom. That's it.
And if they're crowded, they just need to suck it up.
And what do you guys think? Let me know in
the comments section, and now let's check out the community comments.
Frey as child says, not the a hole. You removed
the ladder because you were afraid she would climb it
and fall and get hurt. If she is having trouble sleeping,
(11:35):
then her parents have to work that out. Not you.
Friendly mom says, not the a whole. You're fifteen but
still legally a child too. You shouldn't be responsible for
a child that isn't yours. Tell your parents that your
needs and your ability to sleep at night are also important,
that your tiredness is impacting your schooling and ability to concentrate,
(11:57):
and it's time to revisit the sleeping arrangements it's not working.
Also tell them that having a five year old climbing
ladders in the middle of the night in the darken
without some kind of supervision is incredibly unsafe for the
five year old and this needs to be changed immediately.
You need your bedroom back and your sister and her
partner can sleep with and look after their own kids
(12:19):
at night. And stony wan Kblomi says, not the ahle.
You already had to give up your privacy for a
kid that isn't yours. This crap makes me so mad
because parents are so dang quick to take stuff away
from their kids with no consent just because they can.
If your sister and her husband don't want their child
(12:39):
in their room, then your parents should have taken her
into theirs before forcing her on you. You didn't ask
for your sister to move her whole family into your home,
and you sure as hell didn't ask to give away
your privacy. You should not have to give up your
bed on top of everything else. Your sister thinks your petty, well,
I think she and her husband need to step up,
(13:01):
be adults and help their child themselves instead of trying
to pass off responsibility onto another child. Their child is struggling,
and that's on them, not you. Additional information from Opie's comments.
So a lot of people were asking why I didn't
just move into the smaller spare room instead of sharing
with my niece. But that really isn't an option. If
(13:23):
I did that, I'd have to either get rid of
a ton of my stuff or pack it away somewhere,
and I don't even know for how long. My parents
don't want that either. They told me they'd rather I
keep my room. Part of it is also that they
don't want my sister and her family getting too comfortable
in the bigger bedroom, which used to be hers before
I moved in there. They don't want this arrangement to
(13:45):
turn into something permanent. As for the latter thing, my
parents are completely fine with me taking it off. I
don't need it to climb up anyway, and without it,
my niece can't sneak into my bed anymore. I'm actually
okay with sharing the room now that the latter is gone,
because that was the real problem for me. I just
don't like someone else in my bed. I wake up
(14:06):
hot and uncomfortable, and I don't want to be disturbed
in the middle of the night. I like my own
space and I like my things. I just feel wrong
to have her climbing in with me. People also suggested
stools or other ways she could climb up, but that's
not a big deal. If my sister ever tried to
give her something like that, I could just hide it
before I go to bed. I doubt my parents would
(14:28):
even bother buying something like that anyway. Other suggestions like
the basement or attic don't work. The basement doesn't exist,
and the attic isn't even a real room. It's way
too short to be used for sleeping. The bunk beds
wouldn't fit in any of the other rooms either. My
sister talked about trying light through the window, but that
would be a pain to set up and still wouldn't help.
(14:50):
And if I had to store my stuff somewhere else
to make room for her, my sister would just complain
about it being in the way. And for anyone wondering,
my niece does know she's not supposed to touch my stuff,
and I usually have my AirPods in any way, so
noise isn't the issue. It was never about me not
wanting to share a room at all. It's that I
don't want to share my bed. Taking off the ladder
(15:12):
fix that problem. Well. The community agrees with p is
not the equal and that the sister and her husband
need to do something about this because it is their child.
So now let's move on to the update to see
how this story ends. My parents didn't make me put
back up the ladder and told my sister and her
husband that they had to figure something out. So my
(15:33):
niece started sleeping in with sister and her husband in
their room. It was too crowded for her husband, though,
so he started sleeping downstairs. But it didn't work out
either because my dad gets up really early. He doesn't
get up early for work, actually, just to do other stuff.
So my sister and her husband started fighting a lot,
and he left last week and I think he is
(15:55):
now staying with a friend. So now my sister has
to take care of the kids on her own most
and apparently it's my fault because her daughter misses her
dad too, and he would still be here if I
didn't make a big deal out of everything. Also, to
clear some things up, my parents told me that they
sister and brother in law were having money problems. They
(16:16):
said they were going to let them live here for
a year to get back on track, but that's it.
They also never forced me to be responsible for my niece,
and I actually did talk to my dad about moving
my old bed back in. Now that my niece isn't
sleeping in here anymore, and he said he would have
time to help me with that this weekend. Wow, OPI,
(16:37):
your brother in law has the temperance of try spaghetti,
and your sister lacks all kind of accountability blaming you
for him leaving. No, Opie, that isn't your fault at all,
and I'm sure you know that. So here's wishing you
and your dad have a very nice weekend putting that
bed back together. Take care, op and thanks for sharing.
And now let's finish this video with a mood booster. Post.
(17:00):
Post is from the subreddit malicious Compliance and it's by
user sober on life. If we want your input, we
will ask for it period. A few months ago, a
new business investor at work came on board as a manager,
and he has been an absolute hard ass. He is
cracking down on anything he considers to be a waste
of time, and he is unforgiving. After a week of
(17:22):
watching us work, he and the other managers held a
company wide meeting to iron out some wrinkles in the
company that he observed since he started. It wasn't an
open dialogue, though, in fact, that's one of the things
he wanted to wrinkle out it was essentially just twenty
minutes of it's our way or the highway. Deal with it.
(17:44):
The line, if we want your input, we will ask
for it period really stuck with me, though, and it
was made abundantly clear afterwards that it was directed at me.
The company has had a big problem recently with employee turnover,
and I was in the position to know. So why
since I interact with everyone through my role. Essentially, people
(18:04):
are quitting because the work they were doing wasn't what
they signed up to do. The phrase if I knew
this is what I would be doing, I wouldn't have
accepted the job was a common sentiment. They accepted the
job under the impression that they would be serving customers,
answering emails and phone calls, general customer service stuff, but
instead they spent about ninety percent of their time in
(18:25):
a hot warehouse packing online orders over and over again.
I shared that with management. I let them know what
the people leaving were saying in case they wanted to
take that into account moving forward. They just thanked me
and I left. But the new manager hated that so
much that he decided to make a meeting about giving
them unsolicited advice. They spoke with me privately afterwards and
(18:49):
referred back to when I told him about what the
quitting employee said, and they told me that the way
they interpreted that was that I was implying that they
were being deceitful when hiring people. I told them, no,
I don't think that at all. I was just relaying
what those people were saying about how they felt they
didn't care. They doubled it down and said again, if
(19:09):
we want your input, we will ask for it period.
That's how I knew it was directed at me. I
ask them for clarification, like what constitutes advice or input,
and the new boss said, unless you're asking us a
question about the work you're supposed to be doing, we
don't want to hear it. We don't want your opinion
and how you think we should handle situations. We don't
(19:31):
want your ideas on how you think the business can
be better run, and we don't want gossip about what
other people are saying about us. Just focus on your job. Fine,
then I'll roll with that, no problem. I've worked for
them for years and they always appreciated my ideas, opinions
and input up until that point, but hey, if they
(19:52):
don't want my input anymore, that's their choice, and I'll
respect that. I knew it was just the new boss
saying that stuff, since this sort of attitude with them
only started when he did. But the others either agreed
with him or were to intimidate it to disagree. Either way, whatever,
I'll comply with their request. Since then, the problem hasn't
(20:13):
been fixed. We've had two more people come and go,
both of them because they didn't sign up for this shocker.
A third one started about five weeks ago, and he
has taken his frustration in a different direction. I've overheard
him complaining over and over again to other people about
how he didn't sign on to stand around in a
hot warehouse for hours packing online orders. But instead of
(20:36):
quitting like everyone else, he just got angrier and angrier,
and then he hulked out. I was upstairs at my
desk when I started to hear smashing. I went down
to the warehouse to see what was going on, and
this guy was taking customers packages and smashing them out
of frustration. A few others in the warehouse gathered and
just watched an amusement. It was like something out of
(20:57):
a cartoon. The new boss heard the commotion and came down.
Long story short, the guy was fired, and I was
asked if I knew why he flipped out. I said,
I don't know what happened exactly to cause him to
flip out, but I know that for weeks he's been
complaining about not signing up to work in a hot
warehouse for hours. Maybe he just reached a tipping point
(21:18):
about it. Not sure, And he said, well, why didn't
you tell us so? Of course, I said, because last
time I told you that employees were complaining about that,
you accused me of implying that you were being deceitful
when hiring them. Then you told me to stop gossiping.
He had to eat crow a bit on that, which
was just so effing delicious to witness. But I was
(21:40):
also reprimanded for taking the request too literally, and he
accused me of being petty whatever, though I don't care,
because I had to adjust the stock levels for the
goods that had to be replaced, and they lost about
ten thousand dollars in the rampaign. Some of the items
that were smashed cost two thousand dollars each. Learning that
made the whole thing worthwhile perhaps enjoying that does make
(22:04):
me petty. Well, I gotta say too many people are
saying they didn't sign up for this, so the company
was actually being deceitful in their hiring practices. Other than that,
hopefully that idiotic manager has learned his lesson. Thanks so
much for sharing. Ope, and that's it for today's video.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch it. Now.
(22:25):
If you've gotten to this point in the video, I
assume that you like these stories that I'm reading out,
so here are a couple more that you might enjoy.
And if you don't have any time to watch another
story right now, save it for later. And also, don't
forget to hit that subscribe button.
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