November 28, 2024 • 5 mins
A heartfelt wish for your holiday season from Lisa.
May your coming month be full of moments that you genuinely enjoy!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/love-doesn-t-pay-the-bills--5692861/support.
May your coming month be full of moments that you genuinely enjoy!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/love-doesn-t-pay-the-bills--5692861/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
[Music]
(00:12):
Welcome to Love Doesn't Pay the Bills.
Holiday Edition.
I'm Lisa Tschudi.
This Thanksgiving and into the holiday season,
my heartfelt holiday wish for you is that you authentically enjoy time with your friends and fans.
Family, pursuing whatever traditions are meaningful to you,
(00:33):
doable for you with the resources available,
and leave you genuinely happier and brighter during this dark time of year.
Especially moms whose children have disabilities,
but also every family caregiver can experience a lot of pressure to not only provide a greater
(00:54):
number of hours of direct care with school out of session,
but to do extra cooking, cleaning, present choosing, party planning,
photo session, coordination, decorating,
and generally doing of all the things.
My message to you is that the holidays are for you, the family caregiver,
(01:16):
as much as any other member of your family.
If it feels like too much to attend an outing or host an event,
protect your own well-being and enjoyment of life.
Either make an adjustment so that it works best for you or don't go.
It's okay to make your own traditions and celebrations in any way that feels right for you and your household.
(01:39):
I love that my own holidays are typically just my household lounging in our pajamas,
and not doing much more than playing a board game all day and eating delicious food.
If you have extended family members that aren't respectful of your caregiving,
it's okay to limit your time with them or skip seeing them all together.
(02:00):
If your extended family is too far to travel to,
you do not have to go into debt and put extra pressure on yourself to get where they are.
Maybe a video chat is enough.
We can be really loaded with demands on us,
to be everything to everyone in gasoline and to thinking there's something wrong with us
(02:20):
if we aren't happy to cook, clean, plan, drive, overextend ourselves financially,
perform extra disability-related care and do it all cheerfully.
Consider yourself, your limitations and your needs in the equation.
Do you need to plan for a graceful way to exit after a short visit with someone?
(02:43):
Higher a cleaner before a gathering, make an arrangement for a one-gift-only secret Santa
between your family members instead of piles of gifts that are mostly forgotten the next day?
Do you genuinely love playing Christmas music non-stop throughout the season?
Or do you need to switch it up in turns with other family members who do?
(03:10):
How about putting something super relaxing and soothing and enjoyable to you on the calendar for January?
I have come a long way in being gaslight-proof from when my daughter was first diagnosed with disability
and it's my wish for you to.
You do not owe anyone your non-stop labor, your cheerfulness, material gifts, or a perfectly
(03:35):
home-cooked meal.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and everything right, everything right as a human
being if you do not do all the things single-handedly.
Sometimes family caregivers like you and me move mountains and make true miracles just
(03:56):
to meet day-to-day disability-related needs and keep someone alive.
If that's where you're at, give yourself credit, speak the limitations involved, plan for
them, make arrangements for them.
I encourage you to be as kind and generous to yourself as you are with your loved one
(04:17):
as you would be with any friend in your situation.
Don't leave yourself out of your planning.
Your whole self, including your actual preferences?
No really, what you actually like.
Your needs and your limitations.
You are human.
Humans are limited.
(04:38):
The holiday season will all be more enjoyable all around for everyone if you acknowledge this.
I'm sending so much love to you and my genuine heartfelt wishes that you have a happy holiday
season starting with Thanksgiving.
(04:59):
And that all of your festivities truly, truly bring you joy.
Thank you for listening to Love Doesn't Pay the Bills.
We'll be back with a regular interview episode next week.
[MUSIC]
(05:24):
[MUSIC]
[MUSIC]
[Music]
(00:12):
Welcome to Love Doesn't Pay the Bills.
Holiday Edition.
I'm Lisa Tschudi.
This Thanksgiving and into the holiday season,
my heartfelt holiday wish for you is that you authentically enjoy time with your friends and fans.
Family, pursuing whatever traditions are meaningful to you,
(00:33):
doable for you with the resources available,
and leave you genuinely happier and brighter during this dark time of year.
Especially moms whose children have disabilities,
but also every family caregiver can experience a lot of pressure to not only provide a greater
(00:54):
number of hours of direct care with school out of session,
but to do extra cooking, cleaning, present choosing, party planning,
photo session, coordination, decorating,
and generally doing of all the things.
My message to you is that the holidays are for you, the family caregiver,
(01:16):
as much as any other member of your family.
If it feels like too much to attend an outing or host an event,
protect your own well-being and enjoyment of life.
Either make an adjustment so that it works best for you or don't go.
It's okay to make your own traditions and celebrations in any way that feels right for you and your household.
(01:39):
I love that my own holidays are typically just my household lounging in our pajamas,
and not doing much more than playing a board game all day and eating delicious food.
If you have extended family members that aren't respectful of your caregiving,
it's okay to limit your time with them or skip seeing them all together.
(02:00):
If your extended family is too far to travel to,
you do not have to go into debt and put extra pressure on yourself to get where they are.
Maybe a video chat is enough.
We can be really loaded with demands on us,
to be everything to everyone in gasoline and to thinking there's something wrong with us
(02:20):
if we aren't happy to cook, clean, plan, drive, overextend ourselves financially,
perform extra disability-related care and do it all cheerfully.
Consider yourself, your limitations and your needs in the equation.
Do you need to plan for a graceful way to exit after a short visit with someone?
(02:43):
Higher a cleaner before a gathering, make an arrangement for a one-gift-only secret Santa
between your family members instead of piles of gifts that are mostly forgotten the next day?
Do you genuinely love playing Christmas music non-stop throughout the season?
Or do you need to switch it up in turns with other family members who do?
(03:10):
How about putting something super relaxing and soothing and enjoyable to you on the calendar for January?
I have come a long way in being gaslight-proof from when my daughter was first diagnosed with disability
and it's my wish for you to.
You do not owe anyone your non-stop labor, your cheerfulness, material gifts, or a perfectly
(03:35):
home-cooked meal.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and everything right, everything right as a human
being if you do not do all the things single-handedly.
Sometimes family caregivers like you and me move mountains and make true miracles just
(03:56):
to meet day-to-day disability-related needs and keep someone alive.
If that's where you're at, give yourself credit, speak the limitations involved, plan for
them, make arrangements for them.
I encourage you to be as kind and generous to yourself as you are with your loved one
(04:17):
as you would be with any friend in your situation.
Don't leave yourself out of your planning.
Your whole self, including your actual preferences?
No really, what you actually like.
Your needs and your limitations.
You are human.
Humans are limited.
(04:38):
The holiday season will all be more enjoyable all around for everyone if you acknowledge this.
I'm sending so much love to you and my genuine heartfelt wishes that you have a happy holiday
season starting with Thanksgiving.
(04:59):
And that all of your festivities truly, truly bring you joy.
Thank you for listening to Love Doesn't Pay the Bills.
We'll be back with a regular interview episode next week.
[MUSIC]
(05:24):
[MUSIC]
[MUSIC]
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