Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Love Like Crazy Podcast.
I'm your host, Jay Coleman. And actually you're probably wondering, like,
where's Stacy at Well, actually she's not joining me today.
We've got a little bit different show that we're going
to get into here in just a moment, and I'm
going to tell you all about our guests today. But
before we do that, I want to thank everybody for
being a part of the Love Like Crazy Podcast and
(00:44):
thank you so much for the comments you've left, the
different reviews that you've given us, And if you were
enjoying this content, don't forget like, subscribe, share, help us
continue to build. This podcast is our mission and who
we are is all about building a stronger family and
a stronger marriage. Well, today we are having a little
bit different episode. We're going to be more or less
(01:05):
what I would call, you know, just guy talk, hanging
out with my sons, and we're going to talk about
some different things, and it's gonna be somewhat of an
unfiltered session as we just kind of share some things
that are on our hearts, some things that are on
our mind, and you kind of get to see me
hanging out with my son. So today I have with
me my oldest son, Tyler Coleman. Tyler, how old are you? Uh,
(01:27):
twenty eight, twenty eight? And I got my middle son, Bryce.
How old are you? Bryce?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Twenty twenty six?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Twenty six? And Reese, how old are you? Twenty five?
He's the baby of the family. So look, if you
anything like me, I always get called, oh, he's the
baby of the family because I'm the baby too, and
it always kind of rubbed me the wrong way. So
I apologize. Reese, hope you're not too sensitive about that
like I am. But it is what it is, So good, Okay,
it's all real strong. So guys, why don't y'all take
(01:59):
a second and just kind of tell everybody I know
in the past episode, y'all kind of told every about
yourself a little bit, but kind of throw just real quick,
who you are, tell us about your wife, tell us
about your family, and who wants to jump in there
and go first?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Bryce? Uh So I'm twenty six.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Uh me and my wife Sarah and Mary for almost
three years, and we have a five month old baby
named Margaret, Baby Margaret, and uh yeah, stuff's been good.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
So that's that's me, all right, Reese, you want to go.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Yeah, I'm Reese. I'm twenty five. Me and my wife
Caleb have been married also almost three years. Again, I
don't have any kids, well, Murphy, I do. Yeah, I
guess I don't really see it like that. But that
is my wife.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Your wife, she does, that is her baby.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Yeah, we have a golden Retriever who's I think he's
like two years old.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
So yeah, all right, Tyler.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
And I am Tyler. I'm the oldest out of all
of us.
Speaker 6 (02:57):
And uh me and my wife and I've been married
for seven and a half years and we have three
almost four children. About next month, I think we'll have
our fourth.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
One Livy Hudson, Ella Bug and soon to be twin boys. Nope,
not that that's what I keep You know, they don't know.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
They don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I don't know if it's a boy four for.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Better start selling some concrete.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Well here's what I wanted the direction I kind of
want to go in. First of all, when you hear
the word mentor or mentorship, uh, I know that's a
word that's you know, used in this day and age.
Everybody's all about mentors, and we've used that word in
the church quite a bit. What what do you what
pops into your mind? What do you think about when
you hear that word?
Speaker 5 (03:45):
I guess I'll answer.
Speaker 6 (03:50):
When I think of mentorship like just kind of maybe
even separate from discipleship of mentorship, I kind of think
of just you know, you have somebody who's just kind of,
you know, showing you examples of the directions and things
that they've gone and done in their life. You know,
you know, I go to Star Wars. I guess like
(04:11):
obi Wan was to Anakin, that's a bad example. He
didn't turn out that great he was he was a
good mentor. Yeah, he was a good mentor.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Was just a terrible mentory.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
No, I don't. I don't agree because I think that
you've always got the ability. Like you think about this,
you speak into your kid's life. Not every kid makes
the best decisions. And you know Anakin, as obi Wan
speaking these things into his life, he chose to go
with the dark side. He had a choice to make,
just like we all have a choice to make. Am
I going to fallow after righteousness? Or am I going
to follow after sin? Am I going to follow after
(04:43):
the world? Or am I going to fall after Jesus,
We've always got a choice to make. So okay, I'm.
Speaker 6 (04:48):
Pretty sure he killed children. In the third episode, he
got his legs chopped off.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Anyway, I say all that to say.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Like Bruce, that got dark quick?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Amen?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Wow, well everybody everybody knows that that's what happened in
the movie. He did get his legs chopped off in
the movie. But let's move on, Tyler, go ahead.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
Yeah, so wow, that was a rabbit hole of our example. Yeah. No,
I just I look at me. When I think of mentorship,
I just think of having somebody that's, you know, in
your corner, that's been there and that's been in your
shoes before. That's just helping point you in the right direction,
helping guide you in the right direction, helping helping you
(05:37):
hopefully learn from the mistakes that they made, even though
a lot of times they probably know you still have
to make the same mistakes that they made just to
learn the lesson.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
So that's kind of what I think.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
All right, What do you guys think when you hear
the word mentor think of mentorship? What does that mean
to you?
Speaker 4 (05:52):
He kind of covered I mean the whole definition and everything.
I think it's so's your answer. I'm gonna go with
what he said.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
I would say the Star Wars part or the other
part Star Wars. I agree with the Star Wars part.
Actually I relate.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Yeah, I would say probably.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
I guess a big mentor in your life is probably
someone who's a fatherly figure or just your dad in general,
especially when you're growing up and then you know, eventually
growing into having other mentors in different areas of life.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Rights you got anything you want to add?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
I mean, I agree with what they say. You know,
just somebody that offers guidance and is there as you
walk through life with you in certain aspects.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
So you think it's important for especially you know, we
talked about this is more guy talk today. So do
you think it's important for a young man to have
like a mentor in his life, somebody he can look
up to?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Oh? Yeah, I would definitely think so.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Of course, you know, I would tell all the guys
you knows, as a as a husband is father, you
better be speaking to your kids' lives and mentoring your kids, because,
whether you realize it or not, your kids are watching you.
Your kids are learning from you, whether it's good or bad.
Take me out of the equation. Is there is there
anybody that pops to your mind immediately when you think about, Hey,
this person was somebody who was a mentor in my
(07:16):
life and spoke into my life.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
I would always and then they would probably agree with me,
but I would say, mister Johnny Versus was definitely a
mentor in our lives, you know, just and I'm not
gonna like it's not like he taught me all these
you know, movie scene like things in my life, these
like phrases, he would say, just like somebody who was
always around, always there, yeah, always there with us, all
(07:42):
three of us, works at the church with them in
the summers, and uh, you know he was just always
a constant, just.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Roll positive role model.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yeah, you know, like a grandpa figure kind of deal
for us.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
So and just a godly man.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Yeah you know he loved the Lord and yeah he
was I would think he would be. It would have
been a he was a good mentor word to all
three of us.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Anything in particular that he spoke into your life of you, like, man,
this really stands out above the list.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Uh yeah, I mean, uh, I mean one, well, let
me think you got anything yeah, I'm trying to think
a lot of stories.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
Like with mister Johnny, you know.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
I for me, I just remember I actually told this
story at his at his funeral service. When I was
I think a freshman in high school, you know, I
just being a stupid teenager, just having a bad attitude,
bad day, and I was working with him, and then
he asked me if I come help him with some
(08:46):
stuff at his house when he was remindeling his house,
and I just having a really really bad day. And
I just remember him telling me, and I've got like
I always loved this advice, you know, and I didn't
appreciate I wish I would have appreciated it more at
the time. But he just asked me why I was
acting like such a turd, really like he was just,
you know, why are you acting like this? And he
(09:08):
told me, He's like, you just need to keep your
head down, work hard, and love Jesus. And I mean
that's stuck with me, like for I mean even now,
like it's I still have times in my life where
it's like I probably just seem to like keep my
mouth shut, just keep my head down, work hard, and
just love Jesus and the rest will work itself out.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
You know. Well, I think it was kind of funny
because a lot of times he would he would share
scripture with you, but it was the Johnny Versun version,
the JVV because it may not be word for word,
but he would just you know, give you the word
and the way that he remembered it. It was always you.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
Know, Matthew, Mark Luke and Johnny.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Recent anything that you think of that just jumps out
at you, like, man, this is something mister Johnny spoke
in my life that really, you know, impacted me and
made a difference. Uh yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
I mean I worked at the church for a while
underneath mister Johnny, and when I was younger, I mean
I didn't have the best work ethic.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
But then.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I remember when we were demoing the storage building and
I think we spent like the whole summer doing that
because mister Johnny was saying, to save money, we're gonna
do a lot of the work and then we're going
to hire a crew to come move.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
It to the back.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
And yeah, I just remember.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Stripping copper out of the walls. That's one.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
But also mister Johnny was trying to get that boat.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
What did y'all do with the copper.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Well, he told us to go strip it and then
he said we can all split it.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
So was he either that or was gonna go in
the dumpster? Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
But yeah, I just remember him kind of that was
I guess that first time. I just remember like being
really what work work ethic? Like, you know, I had
been taught work ethic in the past, but like obviously
you and stuff, but that was like where I guess
it kind of clicked, like I should really start working hard.
(11:11):
And honestly, I enjoyed destroying the building.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
So okay.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Also, I know we used to cob Me and Reese
used the comp mister Donny's grass that one summer, remember that. Yeah,
and uh he would give both of us twenty dollars
and I remember one time he would pay us and
then we go to Blimpy's right across on Manolia Bridge.
Remember that it's connected to a gas station and we
went in there. I remember me and Reese ordered and
the lady was like, you know, are these separate or together?
(11:36):
And me and recently did mister Donny like you know,
giving him the eyes like you got this all. It's
like you're really gonna make us spend our twenty dollars
on our limons.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah, he paid for it.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Okay, so you got twenty dollars in a free lunch
out of the deal.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
He's a good man.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Is there anybody else that comes to your mind, like, Hey,
this this person was, was you know, instrumental speaking in
my life?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I think mister Carl go Dan.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I mean, you know, on the mission field and you
used to go out there and go fishing with them,
and you know, he was always one that I think
was also kind of like one of those figures, uh
for me. I mean I know they would also agree. Yeah,
you know, it's kind of like, you know these guys
that did the same for all of us.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Well, that's the thing I sit to rattle off a
lot of names like Carl. You know, he was one
who spoke into my life and helped me learn a
lot because I was young whenever I met Carl, and
he spoke into my life and helped me a lot
with marriage, you know, learning to be sensitive to my
wife and of course me and mister Carl go Dan. Yeah.
I mean when I talk about Uncle Carl, talking about
(12:38):
Carl Lemon then and Carl Godan. He and I spent
a lot of time that Poppy, that's Poppy on the
mission field and and just spent a lot of time
mister Carroll. You know, me and mister Carroll spent a
lot of time together. And the stories that that man can.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Tell, mister Carroll taught us how to be outlaws.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, we're not going to say in case the law
is listening.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Well let's let's be on. And now mister Carroll, he's
when he was young, apparently he was a little wild,
but he got saved started following Jesus that we talked
about the BC days and he would tell us stories
sitting around the campfire at the camp of things that
can be in a movie. Yeah, could be in a movie.
It's like, how in the world did you survive that?
And it's just like, pan, this story is crazy. But
(13:23):
anybody else comes to Yell's mind, y'all. I mean I
could sit here and name guys all day long.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
Yeah, I mean, I think like it just comes in.
You have mentors in different seasons of your life, you know,
like you know, for I mean, honestly, since I was
a senior in high school. You know, Jerry Quintin. He's
been a huge mentor in my life. And I mean
I talked to him now about raising my kids and
you know, just anything and everything. It's and every He's
(13:50):
just seen all the stupid stuff I did from when
I was a teenager, and you know, and just like
different ones that you know, like one of my best friends,
Anthony Burns, like we're like best friends, but he's he's
ten twelve years older than me, you know, And it's
I think that's an important thing to have somebody that
you can lean on that's that's been there and done that.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
You know.
Speaker 6 (14:12):
Of course, you got all your different friends that are
you know, all your age, but like when you have
somebody that has kind of seen the things that you're
probably gonna see. Yeah, I think that that's when it gets.
That's when it's it's important to have those people in
your corner.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
And this is one of the things I tell you guys,
is that you can always learn something from everybody. You know.
It's like I mean, I got I mean friends like Casey,
like Steve, like you know, missed to odd different ones
that have I just watched them and I learned from them.
And I listen to them say things, and if you've
always got a teachable spirit, you can always learn something
from even if they're younger than you, you can always
(14:49):
learn something from them. So okay, let's turn this now
as far as mentorship, and do you guys see yourselves,
you know, mentoring and speaking into because you had you know,
like you go into Scripture, you've got Paul with Timothy
speaking into his life. And everybody always says you need
to have a Paul in your life, somebody who can
speak into you, but you need to have a Timothy
in your life as well, somebody who you know you're
(15:11):
speaking into. And in Scripture you see Paul mentoring and
training and speaking into Timothy's life. Do y'all see anybody
or do you see yourself with opportunities? And it may
involve the church, may not involve the church, might be
somebody at work, might be somebody that the Lord just
put in your life that you're in friendship with and
there's accountability there and whatnot. So let's kind of talk
a little bit about that. Is what does that look
(15:33):
like for you guys or what are your thoughts on that.
Speaker 6 (15:37):
I think when I was doing youth ministry, which Reese
could probably relate to this now because he's doing a
lot of youth ministry stuff too. But when I was
doing youth ministry, that was a really easy answer, like, yes,
I am discipling like a mental wearing like a lot
of younger, you know, teenage kids. And then now, like
recently for me, it's it kind of has transitioned into
I've got some of the ones that even were youth
(16:00):
when I was there, Now they've graduated and some of
them have gotten married, and you know, and I'm still
able to pour into their life and have an influence
in their life. And then outside of that would like
you know, younger ones that are trying to like, you know,
figure out what they want to do with their life.
Some of them are starting their own businesses, and you know,
they'll they'll call me and ask questions about stuff, and
(16:23):
you know, it's just an interesting dynamic.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You know.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
I think that that has kind of really come to
light more in the last year and a half or so,
where all these ones that I kind of watch grow
up like now they're like kind of starting their life,
you know. But then outside of that, you know, obviously
like my kids, you know, so maybe Murphy.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
I would say Tyler's kind of obviously he's not the
youth pastor anymore. He kind of stepped out of that.
So all the kids he was over are a lot,
you know, graduated high school, they're older now. But I'm
still involved in youth and I have been for a
few years now, and so all the kids that we're
over now at the Watson campus that we help lead
(17:08):
is you know, they're still in high school and stuff.
So it's try to mentor and disciple them the best
we can, you know, not perfect, but we try.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, Okay, Bryce, anything to add to that.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I mean, I'm not involved in youth and I'm not
gonna sit her act I got mentor all these people
or nothing. But I mean there's certain guys in my
life that I do like when the moment arises, you know,
I try to mentor as best I can.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
If that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Well, I think a lot of times, you know, you
kind of laugh when you say that, but I think
a lot of times we don't realize that when we
have those moments and we're saying things, we're sharing something
that's maybe deep or impacting in somebody's life. We don't
maybe recognize that as like a moment where it is
a mentorship moment, it is a discipleship moment, and so
we can't ever take those moments lightly so.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Well, I mean, i'd like specifically trying to think. It's
like I don't have a certain person that I'm like, oh,
I'm mentoring in their life, but like, you know, I'm
thinking back, like this past week, I had a moment
with a friend where it's like, like that was definitely
something that a mentor would do, you know, like those conversations.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
But all right, so let's dig into this a little
bit now, because look, I gotta tell y'all, Tyler can
speak to this, and Margret's you know, still a little young.
But there's that fear whenever you have a kid, like, man,
I just don't want to screw this up. It's like,
there's so much stuff going on in the world now,
and I just want to make the right decisions. I
want to be I want to live Jesus in front
(18:41):
of my kids. I want to give them the right
direction in life. But there's always that, you know, as
you guys step into junior high, into teenage years and
even in college and beyond that, like to where your
kids are making right choices in God, honoring decisions, and
following after Jesus with their life. But you know, I'm
of you, guys, because y'all you've done so well. Y'all,
(19:03):
y'all's work ethic. And here's the thing. You can have
great work, work ethic and still not have a relationship
with Jesus. And I've watched all three of you have
those moments where you encounter Christ, you surrendered your life
to Christ. I know that y'all, y'all are not perfect,
have not been perfect, just like all of us. But
(19:23):
you know the importance of as a dad speaking to
your kid's life and giving direction. Tyler, you can definitely
speak to this because you got three fourth one on
the way. And you know, we talk about kids needing
their dads, Boys need their dad. You know, we live
in a day and age where the world trying to
masculate men and you know, trying to you know, toxic masculinity.
(19:45):
And I get there's some validity to some of that,
but the woke culture that we live in now is
really trying to brush you know, manhood off to the side.
So how important is it to have a mentor in
your life as a man, but as a dad, being
able to mentor your kids.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Oh, I'd say it's probably outside of the you know,
the relationship you have with your wife. It's probably the
most important relationship dynamic that needs to be there.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
I am. I'm not a perfect father, none of us are.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
None of us are.
Speaker 6 (20:19):
But I know that there's kind of a few things
that I want to make sure my son knows, right.
I want to I want to teach him to have
a relationship with the Holy Spirit as early as I can.
And then I want to also teach him how his
(20:41):
relationship with the Lord, his relationship his you know, his
walk with the Lord, how that trickles into every aspect
of what he does in life, Like because we serve God,
the creator, who you know, painted this beautiful piece of
work of the universe and everything we have of like
(21:01):
what we see from that in as a as a
raising a young man, is that I want to teach
him how because God works so hard to do that,
like we too can work hard, like we can bring
glory to God in every aspect of what we're doing.
But then also it's just like the you know, I'm
still figuring this out, Like I'm not. My son is
almost four. It's like we're just now getting to the
(21:23):
place where, like I'm he knows things, but like I'm
actually starting to be able to teach him things that
he can tangibly do. And so for me, it's like
the you know, obviously, I want my son to work hard.
I want him to be compassionate for others. I want
him to love his sisters and to treat them with
respect and honor his mom, and I want him to
respect authority, and I want him to walk in all
(21:44):
those things. But at the end of the day, like
for me, I think if it just comes down to
teaching him, you know, the importance of walking with the
Lord daily and how that can you know, be reflected
in every single thing that we do. You know, I
think that that that kind of would surpass all of
(22:06):
the agendas of today's society. You know, it goes above
all of the issues in society today. And I think
that that's one of the things that I'm striving for.
I know a lot of a lot of guys that are,
you know, in the same boat, and we're just trying
to raise, you know, men, godly men.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Reese, you got anything you want because I look at
you and I know you're working with teenagers now. Uh,
you're in the leadership with the youth ministry. I think
Tyler brought that up and you steered a little bit
about that and interacting with these these teenagers junior high,
high school. You know, we talk about being able to
spend time with them and teach them how to be
a man. I know there's a lot of single mamas
(22:46):
out there, like, you know, how do I teach my
son to be a man? You want to speak to
this a little bit about the importance of teaching them
not just to be a man, but be a godly man.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Uh yeah, I mean all of these boys that we
help minister too, they some of them, you know, it
might be their first time at church. They they have
no idea what we're even talking about. They don't even
know what being a Christ follower is. And so eventually,
(23:19):
I think what's important first, especially in youth ministry, is
becoming their friend first and kind of getting down to
that level. Like obviously I'm older than these kids, but
it's I think it's very important to become their friend first,
and then you get that ability to mentor to them,
(23:39):
because if you don't get down to their level and
become their friend first, you're not gonna know these kids.
So if I get down to their level and I
can cut up and we can joke and kind of
just be stupid together, go outside and play basketball or
played these games in service, then eventually they kind of
start talking to me like a friend. And then you
(23:59):
build a friendship, you build a relationship, and then it
kind of gets to the point where, okay, well now
that we're friends, now that I can mentor to you,
I can disciple you, and here's what the Lord has
to offer.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
So uh yeah, well and I love that, and I
want to go in this direction. Bryce. You you have
a secular job, you work out in the world every day,
you're in a plant, you hang out with a bunch
of guys, a bunch of men. One of the things
that's amazing to me is the mindset that the world
has as to what makes up a man. And you know,
(24:35):
it's kind of an accepted thing, like, well, real men
they act this way, they talk this way, real men
look at porn. It's you know, it's like just what
men do. And you know, being in a in a
setting where there's a lot of men, a lot of
you know, guys interacting with each other. Do you see
some traits that that are I want to say the
(24:56):
word maybe dangerous or do you see some traits out
there that this is accurate? Like guys are just acting.
You know, in the world says that's not the way
you should act. And I get it, you guys, would
you know, like, man, you're in the church world a
little bit she altered, you don't experience those things. But
the world that we live in says that's what makes
up a real man. You have to act like that.
(25:17):
And Tyter think you hit the nail on the head
when you say it's a lot of times a facade
that you put on just to you know, like I'm
a man, so I'm going to act this way and
be this way.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
So yeah, I mean definitely for me, it well, it
was I'm not going to say a culture shock. It
was a shock when you get out there and you
realize not everybody was raised the way we were, you know,
And yeah, men do talk like that and they do
look at that kind of stuff, and uh, you know,
I think that's just a it's.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
Like normal side like normal less like it's just like
at least what I've seen like on different job sites,
you know, kind of what you're saying is like it
is literally worse than what you would imagine, but it's
also so normal to that environment.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I think those kind of men are shocked to see
men like us that, don't. You know, I was working
I worked at the Coca Cola plant. Reached it too
with a dude that I got linked up with. But
he's also a believer and his whole you know, him
and his brother's company has found like founded on Christian
believes He's are God fearing men. And me and him
were standing there one day and a random guy walks up,
(26:24):
and this is in the Coca Cola plant, and he
just tells us this horrific dirty joke and he starts laughing,
and me and uh Chris were just like, okay, this
is not funny. Well, he walked off, and me and
Chris were standing there like, well, why do men think
that every man wants to like, We're not all like that.
You know, we never talked this man before. He just
(26:45):
assumed because we're men like we would think this is funny.
And I remember me and Chris just talking about it, like,
you know, like as believably this wasn't it really wasn't funny.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Well, I think it comes down to this. You got
to remember, wherever you are as a Christ follower, people
are watching. People are seeing how you're gonna respond to
that joke. People are gonna hear what comes out. And
it doesn't mean you're never gonna, you know, make a
mistake or slip up or have a you know, something
to come out of your mouth that shouldn't come out
of your mouth. But people are watching, I.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
Think piggybacking off of what he's saying, Like I definitely
do agree, like people are surprised to find out, like
other guys in those environments are surprised to find out that,
like you know, like to see other men that were
raised like with a moral stance on something, I like
anything really Like I mean one of the things that
(27:35):
when I was going on these job sides, I started
talking to all these guys and you know, they're the
biggest thing they asked me, you know, about my life
and we're just talking, you know, like every other word
is a is a is a filthy word or whatever,
But the biggest thing those culture shock was that you know,
how many kids you got? And I tell them like,
well I got three and one on the way, you know,
and the.
Speaker 5 (27:56):
One question all from the same woman, you know.
Speaker 6 (27:59):
Like and like shocking, but that that question was not
like specific to one you know person, That was something
that was asked like all the time whenever I would
start talking to these guys. And then you know, but
I do think like it is in some of those
unique opportunities where like people notice the difference in how
(28:21):
like how you're acting, and that honestly opens the door
for a lot of like really good conversations that I've
had with people about my walk with the Lord and
stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
I know, for me, you know, talking about culture shock.
Before I stepped into ministry as my occupation, I actually
I sold insurance for a season, worked for Mutual of
Omaha and sold insurance. And I remember, you know, eighteen
nineteen year old young fella working for this company and
went into the you know, started working in this office,
(28:52):
had my desk and went into the restroom and needed
some soap to wash my hands and open and there
was a stack of Playboy magazines in there, and I
had just never been exposed to that, like my dad,
you know, I know some people say that's normal, but
my dad was, you know, did not display that or
that type of behavior for me. And I just remember
(29:12):
being shocked, like why is this in here? Like this
is not professional for us to have in the office,
but also the choice for me in that moment, like
am I going to grab a hold of this and
pop it open and look at it? And I remember
telling the manager, you know, look, I don't appreciate you
guys having those magazines in the bathroom. I don't think
it's professional and I don't think it's the way and
he was like, what are you talking about. That's just
(29:32):
what guy's doing. I'm like, well, that's not what this
guy does. And then fast forward into life some years
later a friend of mine who did he was a
partner in a firm, and him telling me that the
in the men's bathroom they had magazines that didn't need
to be there, and he was bothered by it. And
I remember going to his office and making the comment
(29:54):
to him, I just don't think that that's professional. He
told the other partners, like that stuff, we need to
get that out of the office. First of all, I
don't think that it should be here because I'm not
interested in it. But it's also a bad reflection for
our clients, and it blow and behold, stuff disappears. They
get it out of there because they realize this is
not professional. But then on top of that, you understand
(30:17):
that as believers, we can make a difference in this world.
As believers, we are called to let our lights shine
for Jesus, whether we're in a plant and people are
telling ugly jokes and we're like, yeah, that ain't funny,
or we're somewhere and we're confronted with something like that
and we've got a choice to make in that moment.
So thoughts on that rip.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Yeah, I think that everything that you'll pretty much just
said talking about, you know, people just different ways on
how to quote unquote be a man, especially you know,
working a secular job and whatnot, and then also the
magazines and pornography and whatnot. I think that that all
(30:57):
starts with having the right father figure in your life.
I mean, because if if you grow up and you're
you don't have a fatherly figure, that's you know, a
godly man in your life and they're showing you quote
unquote how to be a man. And you know, it's
(31:19):
just gonna.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
You think a lot. You think a lot of times
guys just replicate that what they were taught in other words,
like dad taught me this, I'm gonna teach my kids this,
and on and on and on. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Yeah, And it's a generational thing. And if you don't
you know, you've preached on it before, and Jeremy's preached
on it before. If you don't stop and change that generation,
then it's just gonna keep going on to your kids
and their kids and so on, and nothing's ever gonna change.
So if you don't put your foot down and say
we're not gonna do that. I'm gonna have a house
(31:53):
of uh, you know, I'm just gonna I'm gonna have
the Lord in this house, then it's nothing's ever gonna change.
Your kids are gonna see that, and then it's just going.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
To keep going on, right Well, And I think that
it's a lot of times we don't understand the power
of an example that we set. And you know, we
don't realize I said this earlier, that maybe people are
watching and people are realizing and seeing how we're going
to respond. If we just fit in the Bible. Everybody
loves to quote we're in this world where we're not
(32:21):
of this world. It's exactly right. We live in where
residents here in this world, but really this is not
our home. We're not that. We are set aside because
of Christ and set apart because of Christ, and so
the world that we live in is watching so Todder.
Any thoughts you want to throw in there.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
Yeah, I mean, I think.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
Kind of going off of what Reese was kind of
elaborating on, is just I think one of the biggest
things that you know, you see now is that lack
of that father figure or fatherlessness, and which I think
could even tie back into what we were talking about
with mentorship and like why it's so important for you know,
Christian men to be pouring into and investing into other
(33:06):
Christian young men.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Okay, so what do you say to a single mom
who doesn't they don't have a father figure for their kid?
Speaker 6 (33:12):
What do I do find a God fearing man that
you can put your kid around, like like your son,
you know, I mean, I can't tell you the amount
of you know, teenagers that throughout the years that I mean,
I just saw such a life change whenever they you know,
their mom would reach out and I, you know, I'm
(33:35):
just there. I'm just like trying to be obedient like
disciple these kids. But like the amount of shift that
came in those kids' lives, Like I you know, I'm
didn't do a lot of things right, but I knew
one thing for certain was that I wanted to be
there for that kid, right. And I mean I just
saw it time and time again. And I know a
(33:55):
lot of other you know, close friends of mine that
are in ministry as well, they would say the same thing,
like just find a god fearing man that you trust
that you can put your son around, who can learn
Somebody like mister Johnny or mister Carl go Dan like
that taught us so many things that you know, and
we we we had you around too, So like that's it.
(34:19):
I think that's just like a like a blanket thing
like it could just be for anybody like you just
young men need god fearing men to lean.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
On, like and I don't know it's important.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Well, let me ask you this, what do you think
the biggest struggle amongst men are a boys now? Is
It's like I mean, Bryce, you work out like I said,
you work in a plant, You're around guys all the time.
We're in a church setting, you know, working in a
church sitting and see guys. I know as I interact
with guys and council with different guys. Whatnot some of
the struggles, what do you guys say some of the
biggest struggles that men are having or young men are
(34:52):
having in this day and age.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
I would say a special it's getting worse and worse.
But lust and pornography. I mean, I don't know what
the statistics are, but yeah, having your phone, I mean,
it wasn't like when you were growing up where you're
talking about these magazines where it's like, oh, you pop
up in a bathroom, I might see it, but I
might not. You know, if you go to school, you're
(35:14):
probably not going to see a magazine. When you grow
up and go into the workforce, you might see it.
But now you give your kid a phone when they're
eleven years old because you want them to be safe
and you want them to be able to call you
whenever something's wrong. But now they also have access to
a billion pornographic videos and it's all free, you know,
(35:35):
So it's just right at the grasp of their hands
and all they have to do is pull it out
of their pocket and there's free point.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
We got access to it. Yeah, okay, what else? What
are some other things you guys feel that maybe guys
struggle within this day and age. I think, let me
say this, I think that a lot of times guys
struggle maybe with insecurities. That sounds kind of you know,
girly to say something out, Wait, you tell me insecurities.
We're worried about what other people think about us. We're
(36:03):
worried about whether or not am I good father? Am
I good husband? Am I good at my job? And
there's a lot of guys who battle with that insecurity,
and they overcompensate in a lot of areas as a result.
Speaker 6 (36:14):
And Rich just said pride pride, which I do agree with.
I mean, I know a lot of a lot of
guys that are our age that you know, you tell them, hey,
you need somebody mentoring you.
Speaker 5 (36:25):
I don't need anything like everybody.
Speaker 6 (36:27):
Everybody's got it figured out right, or at least that's
what they like to portray. But the reality of it is,
like everybody really truly does need somebody, you know, to
give them guidance. I mean, it's just it's needed well.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
And I think that that's where, you know, pastorally, it
comes down to having the opportunity to be able to
speak into guy's life. You know. That's one of the
things with Journeymen. You know, we've kind of changed the
format of Journeymen where we do table talk and I'll
share a little bit, or Jeremy, I'll share a little bit,
then we do table talk. I think it's the important
of having the ability for guys to be able to
speak to each other one on one because the reality
(37:05):
is you, oh, I got to figure it out. On't
need anybody, but at some point you do figure out
I do need somebody. And that's why it's good to
have some of your life who can hold you accountable,
but some of your life you can just you know,
bear your heart with and say, this is what's going
on in my life. My marriage is struggling, you know,
I'm a terrible dad or whatever, and just have somebody
there who can hold you accountable and help give you
(37:25):
encouragement through that season in life.
Speaker 6 (37:27):
That's just what the Bible says. You know, if you
confess with your if you confess your sense to the Lord,
you're forgiven. But if you confess to a brother, right
then you're healed. And I think like the stigma is like, oh,
I you know, I don't need that, or you know, uh, gruff, tough,
whatever like it. Just get over yourself and just recognize
the fact that healing was the intention, Like from from
(37:52):
everything that Jesus did, it was healing to the to
the sick, healing to the blind, heal, healing was the intention,
but ultimately healing to the heart. And I think that
that comes through a lot of mentorship, that comes through
spending time with guys that you can lean on and
you know, really walk through different things, you know, whether
it's confessing sins or it's just everyday life.
Speaker 4 (38:14):
Yeah, I think that goes handing in with guys asking
for help. I mean as a man, you know, especially
if you're you're a non believer, you don't want to
ask for help. You just everything you can do everything,
especially if you have kids. I mean I don't have
kids yet, so I don't fully understand that. But you
(38:35):
don't want to show your kids that you have to
ask somebody for help. You know, you want to be
able to do it and provide for them and you know,
do all these things. But as I mean me personally
as a believer, I'm not afraid to ask for help.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Have you ever had to ask for help? Uh?
Speaker 4 (38:51):
Nothing?
Speaker 5 (38:52):
Pops up Price has never needed help with anything.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Actually, I you know, I don't like to ask for
you know, I'll sit here. I'm at any of that. Like,
I don't like to ask for help at all. You know,
just a lot of guys actually they're too ma cho
to ask. You know, I need a mentor, I need
this and that. I definitely feel that personally. But you
know I've definitely had you know, gone to Tyler, you know,
if called Jeremy before. Like I'm struggling with this, so
(39:17):
I mean I definitely think, yeah, it's really important to
have somebody like that in your life.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yep. Okay, all right, anybody have anything else they want
to add or any anything else you want to talk about.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
I want to airing out.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
I'm shocked that you guys didn't roast me a little
bit during this this episode.
Speaker 5 (39:37):
Yeah, this is very serious.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
This is what you know.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Just now, we didn't have anything to ask about. Like
I'm kind of smiling. They're dead serious. I'm like, no,
even't got nothing to say to that.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Well, I think I think we kind of I went
into this think we were going to cut up in
that and it just kind of took that turn, like, hey,
let's talk about mentorship and a little bit more serious,
you know, just uh, all right, so anything you want
to roast me about Bryce and I'm good. Not right now,
let's get off mic and not live.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
As soon as we cut these mics off, I'll get you.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Well, I tell you what, I've had a good thank
y'all for being honest today and just kind of open
and you know, I've enjoyed having you guys with me today.
Maybe we need to do another one of these. I
think it'll be a lot of fun just to kind
of get together from time to time and have some
guy talk. And what I appreciate about this is there
may be some single moms who are listening and maybe
(40:28):
they kind of glean some things off this that they
can utilize and speaking in their sons' lives and help
getting them around some men who can help point them
in the direction that they need to be to be
a man. Okay, all right, guys, thank y'all, And I
want to thank everybody for being a part of the
lovel Like Crazy podcast today. I know that this episode
was a little bit different. I hope you've enjoyed it.
As always, please like, subscribe, share, leave us a comment,
(40:51):
give us a review. And as always, I'm Jay and
this is Love Like Crazy. Oh oh
Speaker 3 (41:10):
Oh