February 5, 2025 • 35 mins
In this episode of Love Like Crazy, Jay and Stacey Coleman dive into a vital topic that impacts every marriage and family: self-care. Together, they unpack the emotional, mental, and spiritual challenges we face daily, offering practical insights for parents, spouses, and individuals striving to stay healthy and balanced.From the importance of mental health and breaking the stigma around therapy to setting boundaries with social media, eating well, getting rest, and listening to the Holy Spirit over emotions, this episode is filled with wisdom for building stronger relationships and a healthier you.Whether you're navigating the highs and lows of parenting, dealing with stress, or simply seeking ways to thrive in your daily life, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in to learn how to take care of yourself and create the foundation for a thriving family and marriage.Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a comment to help us spread the word and empower more families to grow stronger every day!
Let’s continue building stronger marriages and families—together.Whether you're a young family seeking encouragement or simply love uplifting stories of faith and family, this episode offers heartfelt wisdom, humor, and inspiration.Don’t forget to:
- Like, subscribe, and leave a comment with future topic suggestions
- Share this episode with friends or anyone facing a tough season
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hey everybody, and welcome back to Love Like Crazy. We're
your hosts, Jay and Stacy Coleman, and as always, we
love talking about things that are going to build your
marriage and your family and make them stronger and healthier
each and every day. Today, we're going to talk about
a topic that affects every single one of us. But
before we dive off into that, I do want to
(00:42):
take a moment and just thank you guys so much
for being a part of this podcast, for listening, for
watching on YouTube. Do me a favor if you would.
If you're on YouTube, reach up and click that little
subscribe button right now. That way you can know whenever
we have episodes coming out. Do men another favors. Share
this with your friends, make sure you like it. If
(01:04):
you've got a comment, leave us a comment, because that
helps to get the word out, helps to move the
podcast forward, as we want to help as many people
as we can with their marriage and with their family. Now, today,
the topic that we're going to talk about, Stacey, I'm
going to let you jump in here, because this is
something that affects every single one of us.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, well, I think this topic is definitely one that
you know is going to help a lot of people,
and then you may actually want to share this with
all of your friends. And that's the topic of self
care as you know, as a as a mom, as
a wife. You know, ladies, we have to we have
to take care of ourselves whenever it comes to just
(01:44):
ourselves emotionally and mentally, and self care is so very important,
I know for myself. So I was a mom that
raised three young boys, and of course they're all grown
men now with their own families.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And let me answer your question that those those young
boys that they drive you crazy sometimes, well, sure.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I mean it's very active, you know, household whenever they
are little and so very close in age. And then
I mean the teen years were that's a whole nother
that's a whole other episode and topic that we could
talk about. But the importance of taking care of ourselves,
especially as moms and his wives, because we're the nurturers
(02:26):
and the caregivers. We give out a lot and we
just need to be mindful to take care of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
So the thought process of you know, people say like
you kids are driving me crazy, that's a real thing.
Your kids might be, you know, wearing down on your
mental health a little bit, or your emotional health a little.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Bit, right, And it's important that we take breaks and
that we're mindful of that so that we don't get
to that point where we want to pull our hair out,
or pull their hair out, or pull their hair out. Right.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
So, I think that this is an episode that will
definitely speak to parents, and I would say this as
well if you are a parent with young kids, with littles,
this is an episode that you need to pay attention
to because this is something that is very easy to ignore,
something that is very easy for you to kind of
let creep up on you and the next thing, you
(03:14):
know what, overwhelms you. We're going to talk about self
care in regards to caring for yourself with your mental health,
with your emotional health. Now, I'm going to say this
as well, because I think a lot of times ladies
are more aware of this than men, and I think
that it's important for us as men, as dads, as
husbands to be aware of this as well. Now I've
(03:35):
actually broached this subject in the church. I've addressed this
from the poolpit. This is a subject and a topic
that people are more willing to talk about than they
used to talk about. Now people are more open about this,
going to see a therapist, going to see a counselor
I'm fifty two years old, you're close to that. I
(03:56):
know that growing up that that was something that if
somebody went to go see a headshrinker or you know,
a therapist there, Oh that's that's for crazy people or
things of that nature.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Right when we were growing up, it really wasn't anything
that was talked about mental health. It was absolutely taboo
and you couldn't talk about those things. And it was
as if everybody pretended that no one had any problems
and it just didn't didn't exist that that you would
have any kind of struggles emotionally or are mentally. It
(04:30):
just wasn't talked about.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I heard another minister make the the analogy, and I
thought that this was great. I think all of us can.
Can we understand what it's like to be sick in
our body? You know, like I'm actually this summer, I've
had a couple of sinus infections that it seemed like
it just I couldn't get rid of a sinus infection.
You know, I know back in May you and I
(04:52):
both battled a sinus infection we got better, and then
you know, a month later, I came down with one again,
and then I got better. And then about a month
later I came down another one and I got better,
and it was just it was like a cycle wouldn't stop.
But the thing is, whenever I the last time I
got I said, I'm going to go see the doctor.
(05:14):
And I went to the doctor and he gave me
some antibiotics, gave me the right antibiotics, gave me the
right medication to deal with it, and went back, went home,
took the antibiotics and and he said, make sure you
finish them. Finish the treatment. And I stayed on them
for ten days and got better and started doing the
things to help me, you know, stay better. Well in that,
(05:35):
what I'm talking about with with that is whenever I'm
sick in my body and you tell somebody that, they're like, oh, yeah,
well we're playing for you because we understand that. But
if emotionally I'm battling, if mentally I'm battling, and and
there's there's something there that that's that needs attention, uh,
people you know kind of like what's wrong right used
(05:56):
to people you know, like oh that's you know, I
don't want anything to do with that. I want to
deal with that, but the reality is, if I'm not
well emotionally, if I'm not well mentally, then it needs
to be dealt with. It's something that I need to
pay attention to. It's something that I need to Whenever
I find out what is helping, what makes me better,
I need to follow through with that, just like I
follow through with that medication to the antibiotics. Need to
(06:19):
follow through with whatever. We're gonna talk about that a
little bit today.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yes, I definitely think that this is going to be
a great topic that many need to take note of now.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
One of the reasons for that is because we're in
a place in our country where you're seeing a lot
of stuff mental health wise. There's a lot of statistics
that I find that are somewhat alarming. One in six
adults sixteen point one percent are going to battle with
depression at some point in their life. They're going to
battle with these issues in their life. Sixteen million adults
(06:56):
in the US are affected by this every single year.
I believe that the statistic is one in nine people
in this country, and it actually may have risen somewhat
since the pandemic. One in nine people right now are
taking an antidepressant. Uh one in five people will have
taken some form of antidepressant in their lifetime. What that
(07:18):
shows us is there's some things going on in this country.
There's a lot of stuff that's happening that are affecting
people emotionally, that are affecting people mentally. And we I
would dare say this kind of touched on it a
second ago. The pandemic really kind of wrap round absolutely
because you know, before the pandemic, people were battling with
(07:39):
their mental health, battling things emotionally, but.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
The isolation made it worse.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Not only the isolation people like having to wear masks,
people you know, kids being relegated to screen.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Not not able to touch each other when when you know,
we all need hugs.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah, I know that, like kids being able to you know,
having to go to distant learning, having to deal with
you know, being screens all the time. That's not good
for you emotionally. And so we've seen kind of things
ramp up to the next level since twenty twenty, and
I'm hoping that things have kind of leveled off, maybe
even tapering down a little bit. But today. You know,
(08:16):
I want to kind of deal with this. Now, this
is also big as well. I said this. I dealt
with this from the poolpit a couple of times from
the church. The church aspect of it is, we don't
talk about those things. If somebody is dealing with things
emotionally mentally, people would say things like, well, you need
to have more faith or things of that nature. Which
(08:37):
faith is important. Our faith growing is very important. You
need to pray more, you need spend more time in the.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Word to build your relationship with the Lord.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yes, right, but there is important for us to talk
about this, especially within the church, and I've done you know,
I've done sermons on this since twenty twenty. I've spoken
on it several times, and it seems like whenever I
do talk about this, people are very open to it.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes, and I think it's it needs to be said
that it's okay to ask for help. We've talked about
that in previous episodes, like when you know that you
need help, it is okay to ask for help, and
if that means needing to find a counselor that can
can help you talk through the emotions that you're having.
Are the things that you're walking through. Then that is okay,
(09:22):
that the taboo is, you know, that's off the table.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Now.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
We need to we need to be seeking the help
that we need.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
All right, let me throw this out there. These are
some of the reasons why I think that we're dealing
with these things in our country.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Okay, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
We're sleep deprived, oh absolutely. You know. I like to
say this, If I can get four to six hours
of sleep a night, I'm good. But the reality is
is the recommendation, the recommendation is that you get about
eight hours of sleep.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Your body really requires more than that.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I know, for me personally, whenever I in the evening
time I get home, my mind's still going that. A
lot of times you might be on social media, you
might watch you know, we like to watch movies. We
might watch something on Netflix, and by the time you
wind down, it's ten eleven midnight, at one o'clock in
the morning, and typically my alarm's going off at six
(10:12):
six point thirty somewhere running that time span. And so
we are a sleep deprived people, and we kind of
get used to that. It embraces as part of our lives.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
It's because we don't know how to pace ourselves. We
don't know how to regulate our emotions in that sense.
We just keep going at this fast, fast pace and
then being sleep deprived just causes us to not have
the mental clarity that we need.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That's the second reason why I think that we're seeing
this take place in the country, because you do see
some things in some other countries, but America kind of
leads the pack with this, especially in antidepressants. Is the
frenzy pace that we're living at.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
The amount of stress that we're under or that we
create ourselves because we will not slow down right.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
And we're running life at basically at ninety miles an
hour all.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
The time, are burning the candle at both ends.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, we have these cute little things like that that
make us feel productive, but the reality is we're running
life at a very frenzied, frantic pace and we're burning
ourselves out. You hear about people, do you know, burn
out all the time. And the reason why it's us
doing that with constantly trying to do all the things.
(11:27):
Here's the saddest part of all. We're training our kids
in this.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I agree, I absolutely agree with that that they're watching
us we're setting that example and we're just repeating the cycle.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Now. Another thing is that we do this, and the
pandemic really kind of ramp this up as well, is
that we have the tendency to isolate ourselves. And what
I mean by that is we push everybody else away.
We get so caught up in me time, or we
get so caught up in and you know, spending time
on social media, spending time sitting in front of the TV,
(12:03):
on the couch, things of that nature, and we kind
of push everybody away.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
It's not as much isolated, we're just withdrawing when we
really need to be in contact and community with other people.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Then I'm glad you said that because it brings me
the next when we socially isolate ourselves. And with that said,
we push other people away, we build, you know, a
wall of fence around our life, and we we isolate ourselves.
And the pandemic actually is one of those things that
really pushed people in this direction. We were all ready
you have a lot of people who you know, introverted
(12:36):
things of that nature. They don't necessarily like being around people,
but the pandemic kind of took it to a whole
another level.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Now, well, and it probably really had even a more
devastating effect on the extroverts who thrive off of being
around other people and not being able to have that,
you know, causes even more more problems.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Well, let me let me take this in the in
the direction of a biblical standpoint, because we talk about
that in the church. We don't really like talking about
these things. But if we're gonna deal with self care,
if we're gonna deal with taking care of ourselves emotionally mentally,
you do see this in the Bible. You see all
throughout scripture, ones like Jeremiah, ones like David, ones like Paul,
(13:20):
ones like Elijah, that you see in scripture that they
dealt with stress, they dealt with being overwhelmed. You see
David in scripture talking about so lately literally soaking his
bed with tears because he's walking through a high stress moment.
He's walking through a time where there's a lot of
anxiety within his life. And one of the figures that
(13:41):
I look to in scripture is Elijah, that this great
man of faith who battled against King Ahab and Jezebel.
A lot of times people know that the battle where
the false God bel and all this kind of stuff,
and your God answered fire, and Elijah was there and
God actually did answer with fire, and it was amazing.
(14:03):
And we know that story. We know. It's a story
we share with kids, we share in Sunday school, all
these different things. But a lot of times people they
don't realize that. If you go just a short couple
verses later in Scripture one Kings nineteen, it says Elijah
was afraid after this all wrapped up. The king and
queen threatened his life, and it says Elijah was afraid
(14:25):
and ran for his life. And when he came to
Bersheba and Judah, he left his servant there while he
himself went a day's journey into the wilderness. He isolated
himself big no, no. He came to a broom bush.
He sat down under it, and he prayed that he
might die. Listen to this. I've had enough, Lord, he said,
take my life, or I am no better than my ancestors.
Now Here is a biblical figure that is a great
(14:48):
man of faith, great profit, great example, and he's somebody
who's battling emotionally. He's battling with his mental health. One
of the things that we see here. That's huge that
he did was that he actually isolated himself. He pushed
told a servant you stay here, pushed everybody else away.
And that's a big no no. And so what I
(15:10):
want to do is there some things we can learn
from this or some things that we can learn, uh,
that we've faced, that we've walked through, that can help
a lot of other people in this area.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
I mean, how often do we do we do that ourselves?
I mean, you know, when we're we get overly stressed
or we're walking through something and we just automatically want
to withdraw and think, you know, to ourselves, oh I
can handle this. I can take care of this on
my own. I can fix this problem. And and and
we don't. We don't share, you know, when when we're struggling,
(15:42):
we have a need even with those that are our
closest to us, and that's we need that that community
and that help with with one another. Not only there,
but also you know, in our relationship with the Lord
whenever we're we're feeling that way.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Now, Uh, there's some thoughts rolling through my brain as
you're talking, because I'm hearing you say that, and there's
that there's a lot of good things that you know,
we want to be able to share with people today.
And I'm thinking of this story in Scripture of this
great figure. And one of the things that we can
learn from this is a lot of people know the
story of where he these these false prophets and then
(16:19):
God answer with fire. It was a huge moment for him.
It's a huge moment to see God do this. And
like I said, we share this story in church in
Sunday School and then a few verses later here he
is battling emotionally, he's battling mentally. He's telling God basically,
take my life. And one of the things that we
can learn from this and our listeners can learn from
(16:40):
this is that the highest hides often lead to the
lowest lows, okay, And what that means is this we think,
we think of things like like you talked about being
a mama of one of the big things for a
lot of women's postpartum depression. It's like you go through
this season where you're pregnant, You go through this season
(17:00):
where you know your body is changing, but there's also
the excitement of the baby, and then you have this
baby should be the happiest moment of your life. But
then the next thing, you know, you're battling emotionally this
feeling of being overwhelmed and all these things that go
along with it. Can you kind of speak to that
a little.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Bit, Well, I would just you know, say that that's
a that's a real thing. You know that a lot
of times will through our parenting in the different seasons
that we go to your you mentioned the postpartum, but
there's there's so many different seasons as our kids grow
up that we we have this joyous time and then
(17:39):
we have this this these mixed emotions sadness, baarness, like
when you become empty nesting.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You know, You're just the different seasons as that as
our children grow and so it can become it become
it can become quite you know, overwhelming at times, and
you know, you celebrate the highs, but then all of
a sudden then you have to deal with the emotions
of coming off of those highs.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yeah. I know, we talked about the highest high lead
to the lowest lows. It's like I remember whenever Tyler
graduated high school, were you excited but there was also
that sense of sadness whenever everything's settled down. There was
that sense of sadness like we're going into another season
with him now everything is changing.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
And I felt it even more so with when when
our younger two got married. At the weddings were quite
close together, and all this excitement building up to these
celebrations and and all the things, and then you know,
in the midst of all of that, you know, they
decide to move out, and it's like, Okay, everything's everything's changing,
(18:48):
and so you know, God in itself is it's quite
a difficult time.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Well, and I think that it's remembering that the different
seasons of life. A lot of times there's it's life changed.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
It's kind of change is not always bad.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
No it's not. But I will say, like postpartum depression.
I know it's like a lot of women battle that.
But I know as a as a young father getting
into a car, I'm just like, God, I don't want
to mess this kid up. I hope I don't.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
The responsibility that weighs on you.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Life's changed, and I think with the different seasons that
you walk through, life changes. It's it's a high high,
but then there's also it's followed by the lowest low
because of the season change, and it's you can feel overwhelmed,
you can feel panic. So remember that and understand that
it's fine. It's kind of funny because we're laughing about
(19:35):
when we got here this. It's Monday where the high
he Low Labs today recording in their beautiful studio, and
you know, somebody asked me, how are you doing. I'm like,
I'm great, But it's one Monday. Because even ministers, we're
not immune to this. It's like on a Sunday, you've
got this this high high you get to preach and
you get to share the word of God, and on Monday,
the next day, you're dragging. And it's funny because we
(19:59):
as ministers, we jokingly refer to Monday as the Holy
hangover because it.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Affects you in your mind and in your body.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
You're tired, you're mentally tired. And so I'm saying that
to say that everybody battles this, everybody walks through this.
And the next thing is that not only are the
highest highest followed by the lowest lie Low's, we oftentimes
listen to the lies that the enemy whispers into our ear.
We have a very real spiritual enemy he's whispering things
(20:26):
to us, like you're a terrible parent, you're a terrible spouse.
You know what you're doing is not right, or your
response here is not right. He loves to lie to
us and tell us all these things. The story we
just read or we just looked at in first Kings,
the king and queen threatened his life. Now he's just
come out of a situation where God's moved in an
(20:47):
amazing way and his faith ought it'd be at an
all time high. But then the enemy lies to him
and says, the King's going to take your life, and
he runs. So we do that. We listen to the
lies of the enemy all the time.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
That happened to us. Really it can on a daily basis.
I mean, you're the battlefield is in our mind, and
you know, we can have just just the like you said,
the highest of highs. But then the enemy will come
and try to lie to us and tell us, well,
what just happened wasn't all that? Or are like you said,
(21:22):
you're not you're not enough, you're not good enough, or
or just just so many different things, and depending on
each person, it's it's different. And but but I think
that the key is to recognize that and to know, Okay,
we may have this this wonderful you know, celebration or
you know, like I'm I'm you know, I'm carrying this child,
(21:44):
I'm giving birth, but then afterwards there are all these
different emotions that that you go through and you know
that that's going to happen, and not to to be
aware of it and not to allow those lies.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Well, I think that that's you just hit the nail
on the head because we're what you're saying, and all
that is, be aware of these be aware if you're
going to go, be aware that after you had that child,
that the enemy is going to come along the line
of you and try to get you, pull you off
into being emotionally overwhelmed. Uh. And then the last thing
before we talked about some things to help us in
(22:17):
this area is we see this here with Elijah. He
isolated himself. Bad bad move. It is a bad move
to isolate yourself and push everybody.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Young young moms can do that. You know. I remember
when I was raising my three little boys. I had
them very close in age, and and I did keep
to myself a lot, you know, it was it was
a lot of work, taking care of three little ones.
It was it was a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
You were just home all day long, land on the couch.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Eating bond bond bond. No, No, that was not that.
You used to joke with me and say, what did
you do today? Did you just watched Oprah and ate
bond bonds? And I'd be like, no, this actual stack
of laundry is different from the back of laundry that
was on the couch when you left this morning. You know.
So there was just a lot, a lot going on.
(23:07):
A lot of work goes into when when you're taking
care of, you know, little children, and and so so
when I was a young mom and raising you know,
taking care of these three little kids, you know, it
was a lot of work. And I kept to myself
too often times I didn't even I didn't pursue any friendships,
(23:29):
not not really at all during during that time. And
so though though it was a blessing if for some reason,
like I could go to lunch with somebody, you know,
if if my kids were in mother's day out or
something of that of that nature, it was helpful for
me because it's not healthy to be isolated as a
(23:51):
young mom to where you're only talking to a two
year old, like you need to have adult conversation. That's
that's helpful for you, you know, don't don't go down
the road of where you have only interaction with your children.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Well, I'm glad you said that, because you know, we're
seeing some things that lead to emotionally, mentally, things that
can be kind of eroding within our life. It's being
aware that whenever you have a high high can lead
to a low low listening togize it that the enemy
loves to whisper in your ear. Yeah, but isolation is
(24:28):
never a good thing. So let's kind of shift this
a little bit. So let's talk about some things to
help move us in the direction of being healthy. We're
talking about self care. So what is it that makes
us healthy emotionally and mentally? You want to think the
first one?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Well, I definitely think that one of the ways that
we can help to take care of ourselves is watching
our intake of social media. Now, I know that this
is like the way that we communicate these days and
the way that we feel connected with other people, but
(25:02):
at the same time, it's it's also a way that
we're the most disconnected and so and I'm going to
speak for myself because this has definitely been a struggle
for me. I know that I need to limit my
time on social media because how many of us have
you know, set around and realized, oh, an hour went
(25:24):
by because we were just scrolling on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
And so you can burn through some time really quickly.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You can, and you don't even realize how how you
lose time.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Well, here's another thought that a lot of times I
don't think people realize as well. When you make it,
like I say a post on social media and you
go back and you start watching the likes to see
who's going to.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Hard, who's going to thumb it's gonna comment so you
can comment back.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Exactly, and if you don't feel like you're getting the
response that you need, a lot of times that erode
you emotionally, and it can wear on your mental health.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Well, it can wear on you because too you're seeing
what looks like, well it's everybody else, it's highlight reels
of what they get to go do and how exciting
their life looks like, when when really it is just
a highlight reel and there's always so much more to
everyone's story than what is posted on social media, and
(26:18):
I think, you know, I had a wake up call
one time whenever like my phone, you know how it
pops up on your phone and it tells you how
many hours you've spent daily on on your phone. I
mean when it says that I spent six to eight hours, I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Just I'm like, it did not did it?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
It did it? Did it said? Sometimes it says six hours.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
In the day.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I think that's what it says, that it's per day, Okay,
that you're spending Okay, bottom line is I spend too
much time on my phone, and the majority of it
is social media. Okay. That that you're that you're that
you're dealing with, and so that's that's a distraction, and
(27:07):
and and being on our phone the majority of the
time we're on our phone. It has to do with
social media.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
I would agree with that statement. Okay, Okay, So for
good self care, we need to limit the amount of
time world.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
We need to limit that because I know that I
am doing better whenever I limit my time on social media.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Okay. I think here's why it's here's there's prices important
because we look at what everybody else is posting, and
we think man, their life is perfect, they got their
life together. Look at their.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Baby, and in comparison enters in and so that and
then that messes with with your mind as well.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Their life is together, their baby is perfect, their marriage
is perfect, their kids are perfect. And the reality is
you're just seeing what they filtered and put on there.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Okay, So because there's always more to the story, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Definitely limit the amount of time you spend on social
media because it can erode. It can erode you mentally
and can lead to roading your mental health as well.
Right exactly, the next here's what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about it. If you're going to
be self care healthy, mentally healthy emotionally, you need to
learn to eat a healthy diet. I don't always do
(28:17):
the best in this area, okay, but it is a
proven fact that whenever you are stressed out, when you're
walking through a difficult time, we actually the episode's previous.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
We talked talk about stress, stress eating and and grief eating.
And that's a real thing.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yeah, we walked through a very difficult time whenever we
had faced a natural disaster. We ate a lot of
bad stuff when we're going through a time that's not
nearly stressful. I find that we do better with eating
healthy foods, things that are good for our body, things
that are good for our mind. Let's go back to
our story. In one Kings nine. You look at verse five.
(28:53):
Here's Elijah. He's battling emotionally, he's battling with mental health,
and it says he lay down under the bush, and
he fell asleep, and all at once an angel touched
him and said, get up and eat. He looked around,
and thereby his head with some bread baked over hot
coals and a jar of water. He ate and drank
and then laid down again. I like this because when
you get into this story, you see that the angel
(29:16):
did not wake him up and say, hey, you need
to spend more time in prayer, Hey you need to
spend more time in the Bible. What the angel told
him is, hey, you need to eat. And so what
we learn from that is that if we're going to
be healthy emotionally mentally, we need to make sure that
we're taking care of our body, and in taking care
of our body, we're taking care of our mind. When
(29:37):
we're not on social media as much, whenever we are
limiting our time there putting boundaries in place. We're protecting
our mind, protecting our heart, protecting our spirit. When we're
eating healthy, we're putting the things into our body that
helps our body react the way that God created it to.
And so I think that although a half gallon of
(29:59):
bluebell I cream might be delicious, it's not going to
solve the problems that you're facing in life.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
And I think too, a lot of times we can,
you know, dealing with the stresses of life. A lot
of times we'll just get going and going thinking that
we're being so very productive, and then we we absolutely
forget to eat, and that's unhealthy in it in itself
as well. And so you know, you don't need to
get to the place where you're angry, hungry and angry.
(30:26):
You know, at the same time, you need to to
be mindful that that you're that you're eating, that you're
eating at least three times a day, that you're but
but also that what you're eating is good for your body.
And we're all guilty of of, you know, feeding ourselves,
you know, unhealthy things, but it needs to be from
(30:50):
the the outlook of that we're trying to eat to
fuel our body. So that we have energy so that
we can stay healthy, so that we can can and
age properly. You know, that's the important thing, aging well, aging,
I mean, you know whatever.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
All right, So eating healthy, doing the things that are
going to be good for your body, your mind, and
your spirits. Yes, all right, and then you want to
take the next one.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Yeah, Well, the next one would be that we need
to get healthy rest, you know, and because we are
such a stressed out society, you know, rest is not
always as as a top priority, and it needs to be.
I mean, if we're going to watch what we're eating,
then we definitely need to try to get at least
(31:38):
you know, six to eight hours of sleep a night
and just preparing for for good rest and a lot
of times, referencing back to the social media, a lot
of times we're like the last thing that we're that
we're doing before we go to sleep is scrolling, you know,
on our phones, and and that's there needs to be
(32:02):
a time where we say, Okay, we're going to set
our phones aside and we're gonna we're going to plan
to get good rest. Because when we're not rested, when
we don't have enough sleep, when we're sleep deprived. Then
then we're not We don't have the clarity mentally that
we need, nor do we have the strength in our
bodies that.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
We wear ourselves out physically, right, and then we wonder
why we get so emotional in situations. So in our stories,
you're tired. You see that Elijah actually took he rested.
Then it says he ate and then he fell asleep again,
So he's resting, and that's a healthy thing. Our society
actually tells us that when you rest, it's it's weakness,
(32:41):
it's not good. You know, you're a loser if you
take time off from work or if you if you're
a loser if you take a nap. But in reality,
what you see is that Jesus talks about rest. You
see then on the seventh day, God rested. You see
that rest is supposed to be a cycle of our life.
And I would say this, wul listening to culture and
(33:01):
start listening to what our heavenly Father wants to teach us.
So and then the last thing, and I'll wrap this up,
is you got to learn to listen to the Holy Spirit,
not your feelings, because your feelings will lead you down
a bad road. Your feelings will lead you down a
path that's not the best for you, and you can
drown your sorrows. Like I said, bluebell Ice stream is amazing.
(33:21):
You can driven your sorrows in it, but it will
not solve the issues that you might be facing. And
so the Holy Spirit is the one who loves to
comfort us and counsel us and empower us to walk
through life. And so as we talk about self care,
the enemy might be lying to you and speaking things
into your heart to erode you and tear you down.
(33:41):
But God's going to speak things through the Holy Spirit
into your life that he loves you, that he cares
for you, and he wants to strengthen you as you
walk throughout life.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
So I would just encourage everybody just to be intentional
and mindful that you know the importance of fueling our
bodies with the right foods, and and also that resting
is really it's healthy, it's and it's healing for our bodies.
Our bodies need to rest and recharge. You know that
that's how we recharge. And absolutely listen to the Holy
(34:13):
Spirit and not being led by our emotions and our feelings.
So important good.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Topic today to be able to talk about self care,
something that oftentimes we kind of push off. Well I'll
get to that later, but the truth of matter is
that you said we need to be intentional mindful of that.
So so all you you husbands and wives and parents
out there, make sure that this is something that you
you tune into, you listen to, you apply to your life.
(34:40):
And as we wrap up this this episode today, I
want to remind you again if you've enjoyed this podcast
to like, subscribe, share, make sure that you leave us
a comment, give us a rating. That actually helps to
push the podcast forward as we actually want to be
able to help marriages and help families be stronger each
and every day.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
A lot of yes, good topic, just encouraging you to
take care of yourself.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Absolutely, that's a great way to finish this out. Take
care of yourself. And I'm going to say it again,
listen to the Holy Spirit and not to your feelings.
Thank you for listening today. As always, I'm Jay and
I'm Stacy and this is love like crazy
Hey everybody, and welcome back to Love Like Crazy. We're
your hosts, Jay and Stacy Coleman, and as always, we
love talking about things that are going to build your
marriage and your family and make them stronger and healthier
each and every day. Today, we're going to talk about
a topic that affects every single one of us. But
before we dive off into that, I do want to
(00:42):
take a moment and just thank you guys so much
for being a part of this podcast, for listening, for
watching on YouTube. Do me a favor if you would.
If you're on YouTube, reach up and click that little
subscribe button right now. That way you can know whenever
we have episodes coming out. Do men another favors. Share
this with your friends, make sure you like it. If
(01:04):
you've got a comment, leave us a comment, because that
helps to get the word out, helps to move the
podcast forward, as we want to help as many people
as we can with their marriage and with their family. Now, today,
the topic that we're going to talk about, Stacey, I'm
going to let you jump in here, because this is
something that affects every single one of us.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, well, I think this topic is definitely one that
you know is going to help a lot of people,
and then you may actually want to share this with
all of your friends. And that's the topic of self
care as you know, as a as a mom, as
a wife. You know, ladies, we have to we have
to take care of ourselves whenever it comes to just
(01:44):
ourselves emotionally and mentally, and self care is so very important,
I know for myself. So I was a mom that
raised three young boys, and of course they're all grown
men now with their own families.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And let me answer your question that those those young
boys that they drive you crazy sometimes, well, sure.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I mean it's very active, you know, household whenever they
are little and so very close in age. And then
I mean the teen years were that's a whole nother
that's a whole other episode and topic that we could
talk about. But the importance of taking care of ourselves,
especially as moms and his wives, because we're the nurturers
(02:26):
and the caregivers. We give out a lot and we
just need to be mindful to take care of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
So the thought process of you know, people say like
you kids are driving me crazy, that's a real thing.
Your kids might be, you know, wearing down on your
mental health a little bit, or your emotional health a little.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Bit, right, And it's important that we take breaks and
that we're mindful of that so that we don't get
to that point where we want to pull our hair out,
or pull their hair out, or pull their hair out. Right.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
So, I think that this is an episode that will
definitely speak to parents, and I would say this as
well if you are a parent with young kids, with littles,
this is an episode that you need to pay attention
to because this is something that is very easy to ignore,
something that is very easy for you to kind of
let creep up on you and the next thing, you
(03:14):
know what, overwhelms you. We're going to talk about self
care in regards to caring for yourself with your mental health,
with your emotional health. Now, I'm going to say this
as well, because I think a lot of times ladies
are more aware of this than men, and I think
that it's important for us as men, as dads, as
husbands to be aware of this as well. Now I've
(03:35):
actually broached this subject in the church. I've addressed this
from the poolpit. This is a subject and a topic
that people are more willing to talk about than they
used to talk about. Now people are more open about this,
going to see a therapist, going to see a counselor
I'm fifty two years old, you're close to that. I
(03:56):
know that growing up that that was something that if
somebody went to go see a headshrinker or you know,
a therapist there, Oh that's that's for crazy people or
things of that nature.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Right when we were growing up, it really wasn't anything
that was talked about mental health. It was absolutely taboo
and you couldn't talk about those things. And it was
as if everybody pretended that no one had any problems
and it just didn't didn't exist that that you would
have any kind of struggles emotionally or are mentally. It
(04:30):
just wasn't talked about.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I heard another minister make the the analogy, and I
thought that this was great. I think all of us can.
Can we understand what it's like to be sick in
our body? You know, like I'm actually this summer, I've
had a couple of sinus infections that it seemed like
it just I couldn't get rid of a sinus infection.
You know, I know back in May you and I
(04:52):
both battled a sinus infection we got better, and then
you know, a month later, I came down with one again,
and then I got better. And then about a month
later I came down another one and I got better,
and it was just it was like a cycle wouldn't stop.
But the thing is, whenever I the last time I
got I said, I'm going to go see the doctor.
(05:14):
And I went to the doctor and he gave me
some antibiotics, gave me the right antibiotics, gave me the
right medication to deal with it, and went back, went home,
took the antibiotics and and he said, make sure you
finish them. Finish the treatment. And I stayed on them
for ten days and got better and started doing the
things to help me, you know, stay better. Well in that,
(05:35):
what I'm talking about with with that is whenever I'm
sick in my body and you tell somebody that, they're like, oh, yeah,
well we're playing for you because we understand that. But
if emotionally I'm battling, if mentally I'm battling, and and
there's there's something there that that's that needs attention, uh,
people you know kind of like what's wrong right used
(05:56):
to people you know, like oh that's you know, I
don't want anything to do with that. I want to
deal with that, but the reality is, if I'm not
well emotionally, if I'm not well mentally, then it needs
to be dealt with. It's something that I need to
pay attention to. It's something that I need to Whenever
I find out what is helping, what makes me better,
I need to follow through with that, just like I
follow through with that medication to the antibiotics. Need to
(06:19):
follow through with whatever. We're gonna talk about that a
little bit today.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yes, I definitely think that this is going to be
a great topic that many need to take note of now.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
One of the reasons for that is because we're in
a place in our country where you're seeing a lot
of stuff mental health wise. There's a lot of statistics
that I find that are somewhat alarming. One in six
adults sixteen point one percent are going to battle with
depression at some point in their life. They're going to
battle with these issues in their life. Sixteen million adults
(06:56):
in the US are affected by this every single year.
I believe that the statistic is one in nine people
in this country, and it actually may have risen somewhat
since the pandemic. One in nine people right now are
taking an antidepressant. Uh one in five people will have
taken some form of antidepressant in their lifetime. What that
(07:18):
shows us is there's some things going on in this country.
There's a lot of stuff that's happening that are affecting
people emotionally, that are affecting people mentally. And we I
would dare say this kind of touched on it a
second ago. The pandemic really kind of wrap round absolutely
because you know, before the pandemic, people were battling with
(07:39):
their mental health, battling things emotionally, but.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
The isolation made it worse.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Not only the isolation people like having to wear masks,
people you know, kids being relegated to screen.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Not not able to touch each other when when you know,
we all need hugs.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah, I know that, like kids being able to you know,
having to go to distant learning, having to deal with
you know, being screens all the time. That's not good
for you emotionally. And so we've seen kind of things
ramp up to the next level since twenty twenty, and
I'm hoping that things have kind of leveled off, maybe
even tapering down a little bit. But today. You know,
(08:16):
I want to kind of deal with this. Now, this
is also big as well. I said this. I dealt
with this from the poolpit a couple of times from
the church. The church aspect of it is, we don't
talk about those things. If somebody is dealing with things
emotionally mentally, people would say things like, well, you need
to have more faith or things of that nature. Which
(08:37):
faith is important. Our faith growing is very important. You
need to pray more, you need spend more time in the.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Word to build your relationship with the Lord.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yes, right, but there is important for us to talk
about this, especially within the church, and I've done you know,
I've done sermons on this since twenty twenty. I've spoken
on it several times, and it seems like whenever I
do talk about this, people are very open to it.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes, and I think it's it needs to be said
that it's okay to ask for help. We've talked about
that in previous episodes, like when you know that you
need help, it is okay to ask for help, and
if that means needing to find a counselor that can
can help you talk through the emotions that you're having.
Are the things that you're walking through. Then that is okay,
(09:22):
that the taboo is, you know, that's off the table.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Now.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
We need to we need to be seeking the help
that we need.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
All right, let me throw this out there. These are
some of the reasons why I think that we're dealing
with these things in our country.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Okay, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
We're sleep deprived, oh absolutely. You know. I like to
say this, If I can get four to six hours
of sleep a night, I'm good. But the reality is
is the recommendation, the recommendation is that you get about
eight hours of sleep.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Your body really requires more than that.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I know, for me personally, whenever I in the evening
time I get home, my mind's still going that. A
lot of times you might be on social media, you
might watch you know, we like to watch movies. We
might watch something on Netflix, and by the time you
wind down, it's ten eleven midnight, at one o'clock in
the morning, and typically my alarm's going off at six
(10:12):
six point thirty somewhere running that time span. And so
we are a sleep deprived people, and we kind of
get used to that. It embraces as part of our lives.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
It's because we don't know how to pace ourselves. We
don't know how to regulate our emotions in that sense.
We just keep going at this fast, fast pace and
then being sleep deprived just causes us to not have
the mental clarity that we need.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That's the second reason why I think that we're seeing
this take place in the country, because you do see
some things in some other countries, but America kind of
leads the pack with this, especially in antidepressants. Is the
frenzy pace that we're living at.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
The amount of stress that we're under or that we
create ourselves because we will not slow down right.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
And we're running life at basically at ninety miles an
hour all.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
The time, are burning the candle at both ends.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, we have these cute little things like that that
make us feel productive, but the reality is we're running
life at a very frenzied, frantic pace and we're burning
ourselves out. You hear about people, do you know, burn
out all the time. And the reason why it's us
doing that with constantly trying to do all the things.
(11:27):
Here's the saddest part of all. We're training our kids
in this.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I agree, I absolutely agree with that that they're watching
us we're setting that example and we're just repeating the cycle.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Now. Another thing is that we do this, and the
pandemic really kind of ramp this up as well, is
that we have the tendency to isolate ourselves. And what
I mean by that is we push everybody else away.
We get so caught up in me time, or we
get so caught up in and you know, spending time
on social media, spending time sitting in front of the TV,
(12:03):
on the couch, things of that nature, and we kind
of push everybody away.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
It's not as much isolated, we're just withdrawing when we
really need to be in contact and community with other people.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Then I'm glad you said that because it brings me
the next when we socially isolate ourselves. And with that said,
we push other people away, we build, you know, a
wall of fence around our life, and we we isolate ourselves.
And the pandemic actually is one of those things that
really pushed people in this direction. We were all ready
you have a lot of people who you know, introverted
(12:36):
things of that nature. They don't necessarily like being around people,
but the pandemic kind of took it to a whole
another level.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Now, well, and it probably really had even a more
devastating effect on the extroverts who thrive off of being
around other people and not being able to have that,
you know, causes even more more problems.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Well, let me let me take this in the in
the direction of a biblical standpoint, because we talk about
that in the church. We don't really like talking about
these things. But if we're gonna deal with self care,
if we're gonna deal with taking care of ourselves emotionally mentally,
you do see this in the Bible. You see all
throughout scripture, ones like Jeremiah, ones like David, ones like Paul,
(13:20):
ones like Elijah, that you see in scripture that they
dealt with stress, they dealt with being overwhelmed. You see
David in scripture talking about so lately literally soaking his
bed with tears because he's walking through a high stress moment.
He's walking through a time where there's a lot of
anxiety within his life. And one of the figures that
(13:41):
I look to in scripture is Elijah, that this great
man of faith who battled against King Ahab and Jezebel.
A lot of times people know that the battle where
the false God bel and all this kind of stuff,
and your God answered fire, and Elijah was there and
God actually did answer with fire, and it was amazing.
(14:03):
And we know that story. We know. It's a story
we share with kids, we share in Sunday school, all
these different things. But a lot of times people they
don't realize that. If you go just a short couple
verses later in Scripture one Kings nineteen, it says Elijah
was afraid after this all wrapped up. The king and
queen threatened his life, and it says Elijah was afraid
(14:25):
and ran for his life. And when he came to
Bersheba and Judah, he left his servant there while he
himself went a day's journey into the wilderness. He isolated
himself big no, no. He came to a broom bush.
He sat down under it, and he prayed that he
might die. Listen to this. I've had enough, Lord, he said,
take my life, or I am no better than my ancestors.
Now Here is a biblical figure that is a great
(14:48):
man of faith, great profit, great example, and he's somebody
who's battling emotionally. He's battling with his mental health. One
of the things that we see here. That's huge that
he did was that he actually isolated himself. He pushed
told a servant you stay here, pushed everybody else away.
And that's a big no no. And so what I
(15:10):
want to do is there some things we can learn
from this or some things that we can learn, uh,
that we've faced, that we've walked through, that can help
a lot of other people in this area.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
I mean, how often do we do we do that ourselves?
I mean, you know, when we're we get overly stressed
or we're walking through something and we just automatically want
to withdraw and think, you know, to ourselves, oh I
can handle this. I can take care of this on
my own. I can fix this problem. And and and
we don't. We don't share, you know, when when we're struggling,
(15:42):
we have a need even with those that are our
closest to us, and that's we need that that community
and that help with with one another. Not only there,
but also you know, in our relationship with the Lord
whenever we're we're feeling that way.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Now, Uh, there's some thoughts rolling through my brain as
you're talking, because I'm hearing you say that, and there's
that there's a lot of good things that you know,
we want to be able to share with people today.
And I'm thinking of this story in Scripture of this
great figure. And one of the things that we can
learn from this is a lot of people know the
story of where he these these false prophets and then
(16:19):
God answer with fire. It was a huge moment for him.
It's a huge moment to see God do this. And
like I said, we share this story in church in
Sunday School and then a few verses later here he
is battling emotionally, he's battling mentally. He's telling God basically,
take my life. And one of the things that we
can learn from this and our listeners can learn from
(16:40):
this is that the highest hides often lead to the
lowest lows, okay, And what that means is this we think,
we think of things like like you talked about being
a mama of one of the big things for a
lot of women's postpartum depression. It's like you go through
this season where you're pregnant, You go through this season
(17:00):
where you know your body is changing, but there's also
the excitement of the baby, and then you have this
baby should be the happiest moment of your life. But
then the next thing, you know, you're battling emotionally this
feeling of being overwhelmed and all these things that go
along with it. Can you kind of speak to that
a little.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Bit, Well, I would just you know, say that that's
a that's a real thing. You know that a lot
of times will through our parenting in the different seasons
that we go to your you mentioned the postpartum, but
there's there's so many different seasons as our kids grow
up that we we have this joyous time and then
(17:39):
we have this this these mixed emotions sadness, baarness, like
when you become empty nesting.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You know, You're just the different seasons as that as
our children grow and so it can become it become
it can become quite you know, overwhelming at times, and
you know, you celebrate the highs, but then all of
a sudden then you have to deal with the emotions
of coming off of those highs.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yeah. I know, we talked about the highest high lead
to the lowest lows. It's like I remember whenever Tyler
graduated high school, were you excited but there was also
that sense of sadness whenever everything's settled down. There was
that sense of sadness like we're going into another season
with him now everything is changing.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
And I felt it even more so with when when
our younger two got married. At the weddings were quite
close together, and all this excitement building up to these
celebrations and and all the things, and then you know,
in the midst of all of that, you know, they
decide to move out, and it's like, Okay, everything's everything's changing,
(18:48):
and so you know, God in itself is it's quite
a difficult time.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Well, and I think that it's remembering that the different
seasons of life. A lot of times there's it's life changed.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
It's kind of change is not always bad.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
No it's not. But I will say, like postpartum depression.
I know it's like a lot of women battle that.
But I know as a as a young father getting
into a car, I'm just like, God, I don't want
to mess this kid up. I hope I don't.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
The responsibility that weighs on you.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Life's changed, and I think with the different seasons that
you walk through, life changes. It's it's a high high,
but then there's also it's followed by the lowest low
because of the season change, and it's you can feel overwhelmed,
you can feel panic. So remember that and understand that
it's fine. It's kind of funny because we're laughing about
(19:35):
when we got here this. It's Monday where the high
he Low Labs today recording in their beautiful studio, and
you know, somebody asked me, how are you doing. I'm like,
I'm great, But it's one Monday. Because even ministers, we're
not immune to this. It's like on a Sunday, you've
got this this high high you get to preach and
you get to share the word of God, and on Monday,
the next day, you're dragging. And it's funny because we
(19:59):
as ministers, we jokingly refer to Monday as the Holy
hangover because it.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Affects you in your mind and in your body.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
You're tired, you're mentally tired. And so I'm saying that
to say that everybody battles this, everybody walks through this.
And the next thing is that not only are the
highest highest followed by the lowest lie Low's, we oftentimes
listen to the lies that the enemy whispers into our ear.
We have a very real spiritual enemy he's whispering things
(20:26):
to us, like you're a terrible parent, you're a terrible spouse.
You know what you're doing is not right, or your
response here is not right. He loves to lie to
us and tell us all these things. The story we
just read or we just looked at in first Kings,
the king and queen threatened his life. Now he's just
come out of a situation where God's moved in an
(20:47):
amazing way and his faith ought it'd be at an
all time high. But then the enemy lies to him
and says, the King's going to take your life, and
he runs. So we do that. We listen to the
lies of the enemy all the time.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
That happened to us. Really it can on a daily basis.
I mean, you're the battlefield is in our mind, and
you know, we can have just just the like you said,
the highest of highs. But then the enemy will come
and try to lie to us and tell us, well,
what just happened wasn't all that? Or are like you said,
(21:22):
you're not you're not enough, you're not good enough, or
or just just so many different things, and depending on
each person, it's it's different. And but but I think
that the key is to recognize that and to know, Okay,
we may have this this wonderful you know, celebration or
you know, like I'm I'm you know, I'm carrying this child,
(21:44):
I'm giving birth, but then afterwards there are all these
different emotions that that you go through and you know
that that's going to happen, and not to to be
aware of it and not to allow those lies.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Well, I think that that's you just hit the nail
on the head because we're what you're saying, and all
that is, be aware of these be aware if you're
going to go, be aware that after you had that child,
that the enemy is going to come along the line
of you and try to get you, pull you off
into being emotionally overwhelmed. Uh. And then the last thing
before we talked about some things to help us in
(22:17):
this area is we see this here with Elijah. He
isolated himself. Bad bad move. It is a bad move
to isolate yourself and push everybody.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Young young moms can do that. You know. I remember
when I was raising my three little boys. I had
them very close in age, and and I did keep
to myself a lot, you know, it was it was
a lot of work, taking care of three little ones.
It was it was a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
You were just home all day long, land on the couch.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Eating bond bond bond. No, No, that was not that.
You used to joke with me and say, what did
you do today? Did you just watched Oprah and ate
bond bonds? And I'd be like, no, this actual stack
of laundry is different from the back of laundry that
was on the couch when you left this morning. You know.
So there was just a lot, a lot going on.
(23:07):
A lot of work goes into when when you're taking
care of, you know, little children, and and so so
when I was a young mom and raising you know,
taking care of these three little kids, you know, it
was a lot of work. And I kept to myself
too often times I didn't even I didn't pursue any friendships,
(23:29):
not not really at all during during that time. And
so though though it was a blessing if for some reason,
like I could go to lunch with somebody, you know,
if if my kids were in mother's day out or
something of that of that nature, it was helpful for
me because it's not healthy to be isolated as a
(23:51):
young mom to where you're only talking to a two
year old, like you need to have adult conversation. That's
that's helpful for you, you know, don't don't go down
the road of where you have only interaction with your children.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Well, I'm glad you said that, because you know, we're
seeing some things that lead to emotionally, mentally, things that
can be kind of eroding within our life. It's being
aware that whenever you have a high high can lead
to a low low listening togize it that the enemy
loves to whisper in your ear. Yeah, but isolation is
(24:28):
never a good thing. So let's kind of shift this
a little bit. So let's talk about some things to
help move us in the direction of being healthy. We're
talking about self care. So what is it that makes
us healthy emotionally and mentally? You want to think the
first one?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Well, I definitely think that one of the ways that
we can help to take care of ourselves is watching
our intake of social media. Now, I know that this
is like the way that we communicate these days and
the way that we feel connected with other people, but
(25:02):
at the same time, it's it's also a way that
we're the most disconnected and so and I'm going to
speak for myself because this has definitely been a struggle
for me. I know that I need to limit my
time on social media because how many of us have
you know, set around and realized, oh, an hour went
(25:24):
by because we were just scrolling on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
And so you can burn through some time really quickly.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You can, and you don't even realize how how you
lose time.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Well, here's another thought that a lot of times I
don't think people realize as well. When you make it,
like I say a post on social media and you
go back and you start watching the likes to see
who's going to.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Hard, who's going to thumb it's gonna comment so you
can comment back.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Exactly, and if you don't feel like you're getting the
response that you need, a lot of times that erode
you emotionally, and it can wear on your mental health.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Well, it can wear on you because too you're seeing
what looks like, well it's everybody else, it's highlight reels
of what they get to go do and how exciting
their life looks like, when when really it is just
a highlight reel and there's always so much more to
everyone's story than what is posted on social media, and
(26:18):
I think, you know, I had a wake up call
one time whenever like my phone, you know how it
pops up on your phone and it tells you how
many hours you've spent daily on on your phone. I
mean when it says that I spent six to eight hours, I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Just I'm like, it did not did it?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
It did it? Did it said? Sometimes it says six hours.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
In the day.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I think that's what it says, that it's per day, Okay,
that you're spending Okay, bottom line is I spend too
much time on my phone, and the majority of it
is social media. Okay. That that you're that you're that
you're dealing with, and so that's that's a distraction, and
(27:07):
and and being on our phone the majority of the
time we're on our phone. It has to do with
social media.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
I would agree with that statement. Okay, Okay, So for
good self care, we need to limit the amount of
time world.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
We need to limit that because I know that I
am doing better whenever I limit my time on social media.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Okay. I think here's why it's here's there's prices important
because we look at what everybody else is posting, and
we think man, their life is perfect, they got their
life together. Look at their.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Baby, and in comparison enters in and so that and
then that messes with with your mind as well.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Their life is together, their baby is perfect, their marriage
is perfect, their kids are perfect. And the reality is
you're just seeing what they filtered and put on there.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Okay, So because there's always more to the story, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Definitely limit the amount of time you spend on social
media because it can erode. It can erode you mentally
and can lead to roading your mental health as well.
Right exactly, the next here's what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about it. If you're going to
be self care healthy, mentally healthy emotionally, you need to
learn to eat a healthy diet. I don't always do
(28:17):
the best in this area, okay, but it is a
proven fact that whenever you are stressed out, when you're
walking through a difficult time, we actually the episode's previous.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
We talked talk about stress, stress eating and and grief eating.
And that's a real thing.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yeah, we walked through a very difficult time whenever we
had faced a natural disaster. We ate a lot of
bad stuff when we're going through a time that's not
nearly stressful. I find that we do better with eating
healthy foods, things that are good for our body, things
that are good for our mind. Let's go back to
our story. In one Kings nine. You look at verse five.
(28:53):
Here's Elijah. He's battling emotionally, he's battling with mental health,
and it says he lay down under the bush, and
he fell asleep, and all at once an angel touched
him and said, get up and eat. He looked around,
and thereby his head with some bread baked over hot
coals and a jar of water. He ate and drank
and then laid down again. I like this because when
you get into this story, you see that the angel
(29:16):
did not wake him up and say, hey, you need
to spend more time in prayer, Hey you need to
spend more time in the Bible. What the angel told
him is, hey, you need to eat. And so what
we learn from that is that if we're going to
be healthy emotionally mentally, we need to make sure that
we're taking care of our body, and in taking care
of our body, we're taking care of our mind. When
(29:37):
we're not on social media as much, whenever we are
limiting our time there putting boundaries in place. We're protecting
our mind, protecting our heart, protecting our spirit. When we're
eating healthy, we're putting the things into our body that
helps our body react the way that God created it to.
And so I think that although a half gallon of
(29:59):
bluebell I cream might be delicious, it's not going to
solve the problems that you're facing in life.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
And I think too, a lot of times we can,
you know, dealing with the stresses of life. A lot
of times we'll just get going and going thinking that
we're being so very productive, and then we we absolutely
forget to eat, and that's unhealthy in it in itself
as well. And so you know, you don't need to
get to the place where you're angry, hungry and angry.
(30:26):
You know, at the same time, you need to to
be mindful that that you're that you're eating, that you're
eating at least three times a day, that you're but
but also that what you're eating is good for your body.
And we're all guilty of of, you know, feeding ourselves,
you know, unhealthy things, but it needs to be from
(30:50):
the the outlook of that we're trying to eat to
fuel our body. So that we have energy so that
we can stay healthy, so that we can can and
age properly. You know, that's the important thing, aging well, aging,
I mean, you know whatever.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
All right, So eating healthy, doing the things that are
going to be good for your body, your mind, and
your spirits. Yes, all right, and then you want to
take the next one.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Yeah, Well, the next one would be that we need
to get healthy rest, you know, and because we are
such a stressed out society, you know, rest is not
always as as a top priority, and it needs to be.
I mean, if we're going to watch what we're eating,
then we definitely need to try to get at least
(31:38):
you know, six to eight hours of sleep a night
and just preparing for for good rest and a lot
of times, referencing back to the social media, a lot
of times we're like the last thing that we're that
we're doing before we go to sleep is scrolling, you know,
on our phones, and and that's there needs to be
(32:02):
a time where we say, Okay, we're going to set
our phones aside and we're gonna we're going to plan
to get good rest. Because when we're not rested, when
we don't have enough sleep, when we're sleep deprived. Then
then we're not We don't have the clarity mentally that
we need, nor do we have the strength in our
bodies that.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
We wear ourselves out physically, right, and then we wonder
why we get so emotional in situations. So in our stories,
you're tired. You see that Elijah actually took he rested.
Then it says he ate and then he fell asleep again,
So he's resting, and that's a healthy thing. Our society
actually tells us that when you rest, it's it's weakness,
(32:41):
it's not good. You know, you're a loser if you
take time off from work or if you if you're
a loser if you take a nap. But in reality,
what you see is that Jesus talks about rest. You
see then on the seventh day, God rested. You see
that rest is supposed to be a cycle of our life.
And I would say this, wul listening to culture and
(33:01):
start listening to what our heavenly Father wants to teach us.
So and then the last thing, and I'll wrap this up,
is you got to learn to listen to the Holy Spirit,
not your feelings, because your feelings will lead you down
a bad road. Your feelings will lead you down a
path that's not the best for you, and you can
drown your sorrows. Like I said, bluebell Ice stream is amazing.
(33:21):
You can driven your sorrows in it, but it will
not solve the issues that you might be facing. And
so the Holy Spirit is the one who loves to
comfort us and counsel us and empower us to walk
through life. And so as we talk about self care,
the enemy might be lying to you and speaking things
into your heart to erode you and tear you down.
(33:41):
But God's going to speak things through the Holy Spirit
into your life that he loves you, that he cares
for you, and he wants to strengthen you as you
walk throughout life.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
So I would just encourage everybody just to be intentional
and mindful that you know the importance of fueling our
bodies with the right foods, and and also that resting
is really it's healthy, it's and it's healing for our bodies.
Our bodies need to rest and recharge. You know that
that's how we recharge. And absolutely listen to the Holy
(34:13):
Spirit and not being led by our emotions and our feelings.
So important good.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Topic today to be able to talk about self care,
something that oftentimes we kind of push off. Well I'll
get to that later, but the truth of matter is
that you said we need to be intentional mindful of that.
So so all you you husbands and wives and parents
out there, make sure that this is something that you
you tune into, you listen to, you apply to your life.
(34:40):
And as we wrap up this this episode today, I
want to remind you again if you've enjoyed this podcast
to like, subscribe, share, make sure that you leave us
a comment, give us a rating. That actually helps to
push the podcast forward as we actually want to be
able to help marriages and help families be stronger each
and every day.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
A lot of yes, good topic, just encouraging you to
take care of yourself.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Absolutely, that's a great way to finish this out. Take
care of yourself. And I'm going to say it again,
listen to the Holy Spirit and not to your feelings.
Thank you for listening today. As always, I'm Jay and
I'm Stacy and this is love like crazy
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