March 5, 2025 • 29 mins
In this much-needed episode of Love Like Crazy, Jay and Stacey Coleman dive into one of the most pressing challenges parents face today—how to navigate the world of technology and social media with wisdom and intentionality. From shocking statistics about screen time to practical steps for setting boundaries, they share actionable strategies to protect your family’s mental and emotional health.
Rooted in Biblical principles, they discuss how to establish technology-free times, focus on protection over privacy, and stay current with the rapidly changing digital landscape. Whether it’s knowing when to give your child a smartphone, delaying social media, or modeling healthy habits as parents, this episode is packed with insights to help you strengthen your marriage and family in the digital age.
Join Jay and Stacey for this timely conversation, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share to help us build stronger families together.
Let’s continue building stronger marriages and families—together.
Whether you're a young family seeking encouragement or simply love uplifting stories of faith and family, this episode offers heartfelt wisdom, humor, and inspiration.
Don’t forget to:
As always, we’re Jay and Stacey, and this is Love Like Crazy.
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Podcast Produced by Hi Hello Labs
Website: hihellolabs.com
Rooted in Biblical principles, they discuss how to establish technology-free times, focus on protection over privacy, and stay current with the rapidly changing digital landscape. Whether it’s knowing when to give your child a smartphone, delaying social media, or modeling healthy habits as parents, this episode is packed with insights to help you strengthen your marriage and family in the digital age.
Join Jay and Stacey for this timely conversation, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share to help us build stronger families together.
Let’s continue building stronger marriages and families—together.
Whether you're a young family seeking encouragement or simply love uplifting stories of faith and family, this episode offers heartfelt wisdom, humor, and inspiration.
Don’t forget to:
- Like, subscribe, and leave a comment with future topic suggestions
- Share this episode with friends or anyone facing a tough season
As always, we’re Jay and Stacey, and this is Love Like Crazy.
------------------------------------
Podcast Produced by Hi Hello Labs
Website: hihellolabs.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hey everyone, and welcome to the Love Like Crazy Podcast.
We're your hosts, Jan and Stacy Coleman. We so appreciate
you joining in for this new topic that we're going
to talk about today that's going to help strengthen our
families and so Jay, we're going to talk about the
topic of technology today.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
How to deal with technology as parents. Yeah, now, as
we're going to jump into this here in a moment,
but I do want to take a second to ask
you guys to like, subscribe, share if you're enjoying the podcast,
and we pray that you are. Thank you so much
for helping us to build this. Give us a comment,
let us know some topics you'd like for us to
talk about, give us a review, let us know how
(01:00):
we're doing. And as you guys share this, what it
actually does is it helps us to build this podcast because,
as a Stacey said, we're all about building a stronger
marriage and a stronger family. The topic we're going to
talk about today is something that I think every parent
needs to hear about.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I'm going to say I much needed topic.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
It really is. I know that this was not as
big of an issue whenever we were parenting that we
see this because as pastors, we see this with our
younger families in our church, and so in that regards today,
we're going to talk about technology as parents, how to
deal with technology, some boundaries that need to be set,
and this is a big deal. It's a big issue
that's in the world that we're in today. Every statistic
(01:40):
that you look at shows us that technology is consistently
growing usage all these different things amongst young people. But
some of the statistics are actually somewhat disturbing. Let me
share some of these things with you. It shows that
ninety five percent of teenagers report that they either have
a smartphone or they have access to a smartphone. Forty
(02:02):
six percent of teens report to being online almost constantly.
Nonschool related screen time is almost doubled amongst teenagers from
pre pandemic usage of three point eight hours per day
to an average of seven point seven hours per day.
What that's telling us is that our teenagers, our preteens,
are young people. Your kids are actually spending a ton
(02:24):
of time online, and everything that we look at actually
shows us that this can somewhat be damaging to them.
We're seeing a ton of mental health issues. We're seeing
a ton of insecurity. We're seeing a ton of things
that kids are dealing with, bullying, all those types of
things that is so negative in this world that we're
living in.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, so the digital age, it has great advantages but
some significant downfalls. At the same time, I.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Think that we'd all say that there are aspects of
the digital age that we love. There's aspects of technology
that are amazing to our life. We can google things,
we can find out the answers that we have. There's
a lot of information that is actually at our fingertips.
But I'm actually reading a book not too long ago
called The Ruthless Elimination of Herd And one of the
(03:13):
things that he noted in this book was that the
average attention span pre two thousand and seven was about
twelve seconds. Now, there's a lot of things going on
in life that keep us busy, but we know we
all have the schedules that we keep and we need
to slow down a little bit. But the average attention
span before two thousand and seven was about twelve seconds.
(03:35):
And you hear that, You're like, that's really not that great.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
So what is it now?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well, since this groundbreaking moment in our society, when the
iPhone was released, I think it was two thousand and seven.
The average attention span amongst people has dropped from twelve
I think it said, down to about eight seconds. Now,
you think, what, that's not too bad. That's only a
four second difference in the attention span of people. But
(04:02):
he writes in the book that the average attention span
of a goldfish is nine seconds. So what that means
is we're losing.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Out to goldfish.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
We're distracted. Yeah, there's a lot that's going on in
our lives where you cannot hold people's attention. Do this.
We've talked about this in other episodes. Go to a restaurant.
Look around, see how people are interacting with each other.
A lot of towns they're not.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
They're not interacting with each other. They're buried within their
phones and not paying attention to anything that's going on
around them.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
And I'm not going to sit here and pretend that
we've never had that issue ourselves. Look, we go out
to eat, sometimes we're answering text, sometimes we're looking at emails,
sometimes we're checking out social media. But we try to
do better in this regard. And if you do look
around at the restaurant, you see tons of people. I
would say that the majority of people are more engaged
on their smart device than they are engaged with one another.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, it's true. And so it's one of those things
you have to be intentional about, like to say, Okay,
we're going to go to this restaurant, or we're going
to sit down and have a meal at home together
and we're going to put our phones away. We're not
going to you know, be consumed with our smartphone, and
we're going to have an actual one on one conversation
(05:15):
with each other, just like in times past, you know,
sitting down and actually talking how is your day.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Well, we talked about communication in past episodes, how important
it is. But I'm kind of at the place where
I think we can sit here and talk about technology
and how to deal with it as adults. We know
the things that we need to do. And the reality
is that a lot of times we're addicted to our
smart devices, we're addicted to social media.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
And we don't want to admit that we are addicted.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
We don't. And what if you go back to us,
if you look in research that all of these ones
who developed these social media platforms, they did not develop
them for us to be used in a healthy way.
They have developed those social media platforms to be to
hold on to our attention, to get to drive our
attention back to their site continually. So in other words,
(06:04):
they were actually developed in design to cause us to
be addicted to them. And so one of the things
that we need to understand is this is a reality
in our lives. But check this out, it's also reality in.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Our kids all audience.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Because now are young folks. They're addicted in the Facebook's
for old people, Okay, that's what they say. And they're
more into TikTok, they're more into Snapchat, they're more into
Instagram x, Facebook, all these different social media platforms that
they find themselves drawn to. And I think that what
(06:36):
I'm seeing is a lot of parents just don't know
how to deal with this. A lot of parents will
actually just let their kids stay on their smart I
don't want to mess with that.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Because it keeps them occupied, It.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Keeps them occupied, keeps them out of my hair. And
not only that, if I take their cell phone away,
they're going to pitch a fit. And I think it
kind of comes down to is that you need to
decide who's going to run your household, who's going to
be the parent within your household. And as I to
tell our church, you're you're not called to be their
their friend, You're called to be their parent.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
But I want to also include that it's not just
the cell phones, but it's also the iPads and and
just sitting them in front of the TV. I mean,
any any kind of interaction with.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
All the things that we have at our You've got
one on your wrist right there. That is an Apple Watch.
I bought that for you for Christmas, but I told
you it's one of my pet peeves because think about.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That, when you're constantly looking at your watch, right.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
And when you're with somebody conversation and you're you're trying
to engage with them and their phone, their their risks
buzzes because they got a text and they look down
at their wrist. And so what I'm saying is this
is that so many times we're distracted. Whether it's an
Apple Watch, whether it's a smart you know, phone, whether
it is an iPad, all these different pieces of the
(07:51):
technology that we have available to us, they are very
distracting to it. So how do we deal with these
things as.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Parents, right, And I think that's that's a big question.
And I'm sure a lot of our listeners want.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
To know well, and I think a lot of people
are not talking about People know it's a problem, they
want answers, but we're not talking about it. And let
me say this, a lot of times within the church,
we're not really talking about it the church that we
look at that and say, well, we don't see a
whole lot of verses dealing with TikTok. We don't see
a whole lot of verses dealing with an iPhone. So
what do we do, well, what we need to do is,
as parents, let's deal with technology in a biblical way.
(08:23):
Proverbs chapter twenty four, verse three says this a house
is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.
And I love that everybody knows that that Proverbs is
full of principles. It's full of different things to help
us build our lives strong, because it's known as the
Book of Wisdom. John chapter sixteen, verse thirteen. Jesus is
(08:44):
talking about the Holy Spirit. He says, when the spirit
of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.
So what we need to understand is The Bible may
not deal with technology directly, but it does speak to
us as parents, as people about walking in wisdom, and
it does talk us about being led by the Holy Spirit.
So I shared some statistics with you earlier that are
(09:05):
kind of disturbing. I share with you that the average
cell phone usage has risen to about seven point seven
hours per day. And what that means is there's a
lot of information that our kiddos are getting in their lives,
some of it good, probably a lot of it not
so good. We see bullying right on the rise, We
see all these things, you know, mental health issues amongst
(09:27):
our young people. So as parents, we need to be
led by the Holy Spirit. We need to be wise,
and we need to deal with technology.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
So let's talk about some of the things that we
can do. Okay, all right, So I think first of all,
we need to set realistic boundaries and we need to
stick to them. So let's talk about that.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I think that the key word there is realistic. Don't
you know. If you look at you know, you hear
this episode, you say, oh man, this is a problem.
We got to deal with that. And you go to
your thirteen year old and say, give me your phone
and you smash it with a hammer. That's just not realistic. Probably,
you know, going to pitch a fit because now they
don't have any usage of their cell phone. And so
(10:06):
I think you have to come up with a realistic mindset,
realistic boundaries that you're going to put in place. And
here's another key part about that, stick with them. Yeah,
your kids are going to probably not be if they've
had unlimited access to their smart devices, unlimited access to
usage of TikTok and all these different things. They're probably
(10:28):
not going to be on board with us immediately. Oh yeah, mom, Dad,
the statistics are not so great. So I think that
we need to, you know, cut back on the scape.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I think you're just you know, cutting off their left arm.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Probably one of the biggest questions that's out there, one
of the biggest questions that's asked is what age do
we give our kids a smartphone. Here's another question that
pops up on a regular basis, how much screen time
are you is healthy? How much screen time is healthy
for your young people to have? You know, you got
an eight year old, you've got a thirteen year old.
How do I find the balance there?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Well, I think a realistic way of setting boundaries is
is first knowing how much time you are your children
are spending on those devices. And I know for myself,
like every Sunday, my weekly usage, our average amount of
time pops up on my Apple Watch and it tells
(11:22):
me whether it's up a certain percentage or down a
certain percentage. And sometimes I look at it and go, oh,
my goodness, I didn't realize that I was on my
phone that many hours, you know, averaging per day. And
so I think to be realistic and to be able
to set a healthy boundary, you need to start with knowing,
(11:44):
really how much are you how much time are you
spending on these devices.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, I think that it's great to bring that up
because you know, we're talking about, you know, dealing with
technology with our kiddos. But let's be honest with ourselves
and see how much time we're spending on social media because.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
We are setting the example for our.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Children exactly right. So as a family sit down, have
a conversation about, you know, where you are with technology,
and then make a decision. As mom and dad sit down,
make a decision about what you feel is healthy for
your family. And I've talked to families who say, Okay,
after you know seven o'clock, you know screen time, we.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Shut up all the phones away, but the.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Phones away, We're going to sit down and have dinner
as a family. We're going to spend time together. And
then so you set the boundaries within your household and
make sure that they're realistic. The next thing is this,
at what age do we give our kiddos a smartphone? Well,
here's some statistics for you. I've actually, I think it's
kind of funny because I've had parents tell me that
their kids are asking for smartphones as young as five
(12:47):
and six years old. That's what they want for Christmas.
Stanford University sites that twenty five percent of children receive
their first smartphone by ten point seven age ten point seven,
not quite a less, but that's kind of the age bracket.
Seventy five percent of them receive their first smart device
by the age of twelve point six, about halfway through
(13:10):
being twelve. They receive that first smart device. Now here's
the truth in that regards they There are some who
get that smart device, that smartphone much younger. There are
some who actually get it a little bit older, but
that's the average. We also see that mental health issues
are on the rise amongst people between the ages of
(13:31):
twelve to nineteen years of age, especially when you're dealing
with things like anxiety, especially when you're dealing with things
like depression, those things are on the rise. You will
never convince me that technology does not play into that.
Here's how I know that. When did the smart devices
start entering the scene two thousand and seven, two thousand
and eight, and they have steadily risen throughout the years.
(13:53):
What we're seeing is mental health issues are also trending
towards the rise as we see smartphone usage on the rise.
So you'll never convince me that things like social media Snapchat,
TikTok face, butt book x, smartphones, gaming, especially during the
adolescent years, whenever they're learning the crucial skills like social skills,
(14:15):
things of that nature. You can't convince me that these
things do not play into that. As they're isolating themselves,
as they're constantly looking at that smart device, as they're
gaining their you know, maybe different you know insecurity issues
based off the amount of life self comments, self esteem
issues based off of what people comment on what they post.
(14:37):
So here's what I would tell you, parents, We have
to put boundaries in place, make sure that they're realistic.
But put those boundaries in place as to when they
are going to get the smart device, when they're going
to engage on social media. And as you put those
limits on the screen time, make sure that you back them.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Up and each parent, you're going to have the fight
of the peer pressure. While my friend you know, got
a phone earlier, are you know different ones that are?
You know? They're binding for your kids time, and so
it's important that you put those boundaries in place, limit
that screen time and do it for the for nothing else,
(15:17):
for their mental health and so that they aren't so
stressed out in dealing with self esteem issues and so forth.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Well, I think that you you hit the nail right
on the head. There's to quit worrying about whatever their
other families are doing, quit worrying about what their friends
are doing.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Be concerned about your family and what's best for them.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Exactly right. You are called to parent your kids, not
your neighbor's kids. So focus on your kiddo's and put
those realistic boundaries in place and make sure that you
stick with those realistic boundaries. So all right, what's next?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Okay? So The next thing that we need to do
is focus on the protection over privacy.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
When we were we've talked about this in past episodes.
When we were dating, we had a long distance relationship,
and there was a privacy device that was attached to
the phone, and it was called.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
The phone court, the phone court, and the phone was
attached to the wall.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Normally I would sit in the hallway in my parents'
home and I would talk to you on the phone
and we would talk for hours. But you know, your
parents were privy to what you were talking about because
that court would I think they.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Could hear your conversation, and so you weren't able to
keep secrets and hide things right.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Well, and my mom and dad had the mindset, and
I think it was kind of in that day and
age it was accepted privacy is a privilege. It's not
a right. It's a privilege. Yeah, and so that's something
that you know, trust all those different things that as
you're growing and maturity and that you were gaining. And
so we need to understand that with our kids, privacy
(16:49):
is not it's not a right, it is a privilege.
And as parents, it is our responsibility to protect our
children and we want to protect them from a culture.
The enemy are spiritual lendemy, the devil. His sole purpose
in life is to destroy, and so he wants to
destroy us. He wants to destroy our marriage, he wants
to destroy our family, and he wants to destroy our kiddos.
(17:11):
So it is our responsibility as parents to educate ourselves
about the culture. It is our responsibility as parents who
also educate our children about the agenda of the culture.
John Chapter ten, verse ten says in speaking of the devil,
here says the thief his purpose is to steal, kill,
and destroy, and Jesus says, my purpose is to give
(17:31):
them a rich and satisfying life. So what does that mean.
It means that I'm going to focus on protection over privacy.
Your kiddos are going to scream about I have a
right to privacy. No, you do not have a right
to privacy. It's a privilege, it's not a right. And
so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna do everything
that's within my power to protect you as my kid.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Okay. So one of the things that we did when
our boys did have a cell phone was we told
that we can take your cell phone at any point
and we can look at which way that you're using
your phone, what the text that's being sent, and so forth,
so to keep them from you know, maybe trying to
(18:16):
hide things. And there were times that we did look
at at their phones to see.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Well, with the boys, that's realize when we got when
we bought each of them, their first phone was a
little slighter phone that they could text on. They really
a smartphone, and they didn't start really getting smart you know,
smartphones until they were probably fourteen fifteen years old. We've
talked about this with them and as they were a
little bit older, But what they didn't realize is we
actually bought the phone for them as a way to
(18:42):
punish them if need be, because when we would take
their phone, it literally was like you were like cutting
off their own and they would do everything that they
could to be able to get that phone back. So
it was a way that we utilized as a way
to be able to parent them in a better way.
Now in that regard, here's what I'm going to tell you.
If we're going to focus on protection over privacy, there
(19:03):
are parental controls on the phone.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Use these, use them. Yeah, you definitely have the ability
to control their data use on their phone.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
But here's what I also want to tell you. Your
teenagers are smart enough to figure out how to get
around those parental controls. So what you need to be
able to do as the parent. You need to know
the passwords. You need to regularly check their smart device,
that phone. You need to check their bedroom. And I
remember growing up my mom, you know, usually once a
(19:35):
year she would do what was known as deep cleaning,
where she would go throughout the house and really you know,
deep clean. And there were several times that she went
into my bedroom and she cleaned under the bed and
all this kind of stuff. And this was back, you know,
before I came to christ And I remember I had
some cigarettes hidden away in a secrets place because I
(19:55):
you know, I was probably twelve thirteen years old and
I was smoking. And my found those smokes as she
was cleaning my room. But guess what, it was not
one of these things like, hey, that's my room, you
can't go in there. I deserve privacy. I knew that
I lived in my mom and dad's house and they
could do whatever they want because it wasn't my house,
it was their house.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
You need to understand that that smartphone that you're your
teenager or your preteen has, it's not theirs, it's yours.
You pay the plan, you purchased it. You may have
given it to them as a gift, but it's still yours.
And if you're going to focus on protection over privacy,
what you need to be able to do is have
access to passwords. Had the understanding, just like you said
(20:37):
a few moments ago, Stacy, that we're regularly going to
check your phone, We're regularly going to check in on you,
not to invade any type of privacy, but to protect
you as your parents.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
And parents seems to realize that they are the ones
in control.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
And yeah, it's a lot of times we give into
because they complain, they nag all these.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Different and it's easier to give in to them.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
So I would tell you this, don't give then to them.
Choose to protect your child, Choose to be the parent.
So a couple other things. Make sure as a parent,
you want to delay social media as long as possible.
Social media is one of those things. It is it's kind.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Of its pros and it's kind its cons.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
It's probably got more cons than it.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Does, especially for the younger ones.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yes, And I would tell you that you know, a
lot of times when it comes to self esteem, a
lot of times when it comes to peer pressure. There
are things that our kiddos are facing now that we
did not face when we were young.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And our kids did not until they got older.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
And it's coming against them on social media and it
takes it to a whole another level. So one of
the things that you can see is the amount of
time spent on social media is directly related to loneliness
in their life, a feeling of loneliness, the feeling of
depression within their life, the feeling of anxiety within their lives.
So what that tells me as a parent, I'm going
(21:50):
to do everything that I can. I'm going to focus
on protection over privacy.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
And we live in society where we're being told like, well,
this is how we stay connected, this is how we
know what's going on. But in actuality, we're really more
disconnected than we've ever been because it's strictly social media
and not you know, there's the texting and not the
personal phone call and the personal interaction with people, and
so our kids are not learning how to communicate properly
(22:16):
and they're using everything and you know, short term, you know,
but they're texting on that note.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
What you're talking about is, first of all, we're saying,
set realistic boundaries and stick to them as the parent,
focus on protection over privacy. But what you just shared
actually plays into the next thing we want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Okay, so we want to talk about setting technology free times.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
What you're specifically saying is have times and have it
understood within the family that you're going to create activities.
You're going to create opportunities where everybody is going to
put their phone away and you're going to focus on
what engaging in conversation, spending time together, building your family.
And so I'm going to tell you some things that
you can do, specifically, set times with your family that
(23:02):
no phones are allowed. I kind of gripe about this
a little bit. We do family night usually about every
two weeks or so with our family that all of
our kids are adult. You know, they're not kids anymore,
they're adults, they're married, they've got their own family. We
love to do family night. I like to cook, and
so I'll cook, everybody will come over, and you know,
(23:23):
there's times where I look around and everybody's on their phone,
I'll fuss right, put your phones away, and everybody you
know puts their phone away. Now, I'm not gonna sit
here and pretend like I've never had a moment that
i haven't been on my phone. Sometimes the kids a
fuss at me, put your phone away. But the best
times are whenever everybody is engaging each other. Everybody's having
conversation or developing relationship in a deeper way with each other.
(23:44):
So have those times sect technology free times. It could
be a family gathering where you're gonna, you know, eat
dinner together. It could be a family activity where you're
going to go and do something.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Are sending a certain time at bedtime, you know, this
is when we're going to put our phones away so
that we can go to sleep well.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
And that's what I'll tell you. A lot of times
kiddos they go to bed, then they're on their phone
till you know, one, two.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Three cars some of the all night.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
You need to make sure that that's something that you're monitoring,
that you're on top of. So here's some ideas for you.
Dinner time, great time, put your phones away. Nobody's allowed
to be on your phone while we're at dinner, in
the car, when you're traveling together as a family, everybody
put your phones away. We're going to engage each other.
We're going to talk to one another at bedtime. No
(24:34):
phones are allowed after we lay down to go to bed.
I don't care if you're sixteen years old. You want
to talk to your boyfriend and girlfriend whatever. Put those
phones away. And you have to look for those moments
with your kids that you can put your phone away,
that you can engage. You can talk about what is
going on in life, how you're doing, how your kiddo's doing,
(24:55):
how the family is doing. Take advantage of those times,
because what happens is they actually build your f So
set technology free times. All right, what's the next well.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
And I just want to say for the parents, that's
something that you have to stay on top of because
it will definitely get away from you. Be intentional on that.
So we also need to stay current with technology.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Now that's a scary thought because I am fifty one,
going to be fifty two years old here rather soon
you're close to that one. Actually, you're not here to
talk about my age twenty nine years of age and
holding but a lot of times whenever you start getting
a little bit older, even as a parent with kiddos,
you are of the mindset like, man, that's scary. I
don't know, you know, all the stuff to keep up
(25:36):
with TikTok? What is that? I don't even know what
that is. You know, I'm not saying I don't know
what that is. I'm talking as a parent who might
say I don't know how to deal with that. So
technology can be intimidating. But here's the thought. It's our kids.
So we have to know that in our kids world,
we want to stay current. We're going to put the
work in to build our family, so we need to
(26:00):
make sure that we're up to date on what's going on.
We all see these things, you know, on social media,
the little code talk and all that kind of stuff.
What does that mean. I've gone to my kids before
like what does this mean? Yeah, and they will tell
me what that means.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
So when technology is changing so quickly and it is
hard to stay on top of it, but that's something
that you need to stay current with.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I said this sometime back. It is not a sin
to grow old, but our kids may get caught up
in sin if we become a dinosaur to technology. So
we need to do everything that we can to make
sure that we are doing what we can as a
parent to stay current with technology. And you've got to
look at the amount of time that you're spending on
(26:41):
your smart device, whether it's social media, texting, whatever. Is
there an unhealthy amount of time being spent on your phone?
And so in that regard, change always begins with me.
Don't focus on the kiddos as much as myself. What
are the things that need to change in me? And
then and is I begin to see God change those things,
(27:02):
then I can begin to focus on leading my family
towards that change. Because here's what I'm gonna tell you.
If I'm not willing to change, then it's going to
be very hard for me to bring change into my family.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
And our kids are watching us, and they're going to say, well, dad, mom,
you're on your phone all the time, and so why
are you asking me not to be on the phone.
So I think you know, by watching, like I mentioned earlier,
you know, our weekly, our weekly allowance of time you
know pops up on our phone, we see how much
(27:34):
we're using technology as well, and so make it a
goal for us to like set down our phones and
be that example for our children.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Absolutely, so it starts with an honest evaluation. It starts
with maybe me needing to repent of some things that
I've allowed, to begin to take priority within my life
and take control of my life, and then make the
changes in my life and then begin to bring those
changes within the family. So I feel like we've giving you,
guys some great things to talk about within your marriage,
(28:03):
within your family, some great resources for you to be
able to talk about and really have honest, open communication
within the family.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I think so today that's it for this episode. Hope
you guys have had a great time, and as always,
like subscribe, share, We hope that you're enjoying the Love
Like Crazy podcast. I know we're happy, absolute blast. I
love hanging out with you, yes, but it's a lot
of fun to be able to sit and just kind
of share some things that are on our heart and
give us a review, leave a comment. We love to
(28:35):
hear from.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
You guys, as we you in fact help us build
this podcast, So thank you so much, and as always,
I'm Jay and this is Love Like Crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
D
Hey everyone, and welcome to the Love Like Crazy Podcast.
We're your hosts, Jan and Stacy Coleman. We so appreciate
you joining in for this new topic that we're going
to talk about today that's going to help strengthen our
families and so Jay, we're going to talk about the
topic of technology today.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
How to deal with technology as parents. Yeah, now, as
we're going to jump into this here in a moment,
but I do want to take a second to ask
you guys to like, subscribe, share if you're enjoying the podcast,
and we pray that you are. Thank you so much
for helping us to build this. Give us a comment,
let us know some topics you'd like for us to
talk about, give us a review, let us know how
(01:00):
we're doing. And as you guys share this, what it
actually does is it helps us to build this podcast because,
as a Stacey said, we're all about building a stronger
marriage and a stronger family. The topic we're going to
talk about today is something that I think every parent
needs to hear about.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I'm going to say I much needed topic.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
It really is. I know that this was not as
big of an issue whenever we were parenting that we
see this because as pastors, we see this with our
younger families in our church, and so in that regards today,
we're going to talk about technology as parents, how to
deal with technology, some boundaries that need to be set,
and this is a big deal. It's a big issue
that's in the world that we're in today. Every statistic
(01:40):
that you look at shows us that technology is consistently
growing usage all these different things amongst young people. But
some of the statistics are actually somewhat disturbing. Let me
share some of these things with you. It shows that
ninety five percent of teenagers report that they either have
a smartphone or they have access to a smartphone. Forty
(02:02):
six percent of teens report to being online almost constantly.
Nonschool related screen time is almost doubled amongst teenagers from
pre pandemic usage of three point eight hours per day
to an average of seven point seven hours per day.
What that's telling us is that our teenagers, our preteens,
are young people. Your kids are actually spending a ton
(02:24):
of time online, and everything that we look at actually
shows us that this can somewhat be damaging to them.
We're seeing a ton of mental health issues. We're seeing
a ton of insecurity. We're seeing a ton of things
that kids are dealing with, bullying, all those types of
things that is so negative in this world that we're
living in.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, so the digital age, it has great advantages but
some significant downfalls. At the same time, I.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Think that we'd all say that there are aspects of
the digital age that we love. There's aspects of technology
that are amazing to our life. We can google things,
we can find out the answers that we have. There's
a lot of information that is actually at our fingertips.
But I'm actually reading a book not too long ago
called The Ruthless Elimination of Herd And one of the
(03:13):
things that he noted in this book was that the
average attention span pre two thousand and seven was about
twelve seconds. Now, there's a lot of things going on
in life that keep us busy, but we know we
all have the schedules that we keep and we need
to slow down a little bit. But the average attention
span before two thousand and seven was about twelve seconds.
(03:35):
And you hear that, You're like, that's really not that great.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
So what is it now?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well, since this groundbreaking moment in our society, when the
iPhone was released, I think it was two thousand and seven.
The average attention span amongst people has dropped from twelve
I think it said, down to about eight seconds. Now,
you think, what, that's not too bad. That's only a
four second difference in the attention span of people. But
(04:02):
he writes in the book that the average attention span
of a goldfish is nine seconds. So what that means
is we're losing.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Out to goldfish.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
We're distracted. Yeah, there's a lot that's going on in
our lives where you cannot hold people's attention. Do this.
We've talked about this in other episodes. Go to a restaurant.
Look around, see how people are interacting with each other.
A lot of towns they're not.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
They're not interacting with each other. They're buried within their
phones and not paying attention to anything that's going on
around them.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
And I'm not going to sit here and pretend that
we've never had that issue ourselves. Look, we go out
to eat, sometimes we're answering text, sometimes we're looking at emails,
sometimes we're checking out social media. But we try to
do better in this regard. And if you do look
around at the restaurant, you see tons of people. I
would say that the majority of people are more engaged
on their smart device than they are engaged with one another.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, it's true. And so it's one of those things
you have to be intentional about, like to say, Okay,
we're going to go to this restaurant, or we're going
to sit down and have a meal at home together
and we're going to put our phones away. We're not
going to you know, be consumed with our smartphone, and
we're going to have an actual one on one conversation
(05:15):
with each other, just like in times past, you know,
sitting down and actually talking how is your day.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Well, we talked about communication in past episodes, how important
it is. But I'm kind of at the place where
I think we can sit here and talk about technology
and how to deal with it as adults. We know
the things that we need to do. And the reality
is that a lot of times we're addicted to our
smart devices, we're addicted to social media.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
And we don't want to admit that we are addicted.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
We don't. And what if you go back to us,
if you look in research that all of these ones
who developed these social media platforms, they did not develop
them for us to be used in a healthy way.
They have developed those social media platforms to be to
hold on to our attention, to get to drive our
attention back to their site continually. So in other words,
(06:04):
they were actually developed in design to cause us to
be addicted to them. And so one of the things
that we need to understand is this is a reality
in our lives. But check this out, it's also reality in.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Our kids all audience.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Because now are young folks. They're addicted in the Facebook's
for old people, Okay, that's what they say. And they're
more into TikTok, they're more into Snapchat, they're more into
Instagram x, Facebook, all these different social media platforms that
they find themselves drawn to. And I think that what
(06:36):
I'm seeing is a lot of parents just don't know
how to deal with this. A lot of parents will
actually just let their kids stay on their smart I
don't want to mess with that.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Because it keeps them occupied, It.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Keeps them occupied, keeps them out of my hair. And
not only that, if I take their cell phone away,
they're going to pitch a fit. And I think it
kind of comes down to is that you need to
decide who's going to run your household, who's going to
be the parent within your household. And as I to
tell our church, you're you're not called to be their
their friend, You're called to be their parent.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
But I want to also include that it's not just
the cell phones, but it's also the iPads and and
just sitting them in front of the TV. I mean,
any any kind of interaction with.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
All the things that we have at our You've got
one on your wrist right there. That is an Apple Watch.
I bought that for you for Christmas, but I told
you it's one of my pet peeves because think about.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That, when you're constantly looking at your watch, right.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
And when you're with somebody conversation and you're you're trying
to engage with them and their phone, their their risks
buzzes because they got a text and they look down
at their wrist. And so what I'm saying is this
is that so many times we're distracted. Whether it's an
Apple Watch, whether it's a smart you know, phone, whether
it is an iPad, all these different pieces of the
(07:51):
technology that we have available to us, they are very
distracting to it. So how do we deal with these
things as.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Parents, right, And I think that's that's a big question.
And I'm sure a lot of our listeners want.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
To know well, and I think a lot of people
are not talking about People know it's a problem, they
want answers, but we're not talking about it. And let
me say this, a lot of times within the church,
we're not really talking about it the church that we
look at that and say, well, we don't see a
whole lot of verses dealing with TikTok. We don't see
a whole lot of verses dealing with an iPhone. So
what do we do, well, what we need to do is,
as parents, let's deal with technology in a biblical way.
(08:23):
Proverbs chapter twenty four, verse three says this a house
is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.
And I love that everybody knows that that Proverbs is
full of principles. It's full of different things to help
us build our lives strong, because it's known as the
Book of Wisdom. John chapter sixteen, verse thirteen. Jesus is
(08:44):
talking about the Holy Spirit. He says, when the spirit
of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.
So what we need to understand is The Bible may
not deal with technology directly, but it does speak to
us as parents, as people about walking in wisdom, and
it does talk us about being led by the Holy Spirit.
So I shared some statistics with you earlier that are
(09:05):
kind of disturbing. I share with you that the average
cell phone usage has risen to about seven point seven
hours per day. And what that means is there's a
lot of information that our kiddos are getting in their lives,
some of it good, probably a lot of it not
so good. We see bullying right on the rise, We
see all these things, you know, mental health issues amongst
(09:27):
our young people. So as parents, we need to be
led by the Holy Spirit. We need to be wise,
and we need to deal with technology.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
So let's talk about some of the things that we
can do. Okay, all right, So I think first of all,
we need to set realistic boundaries and we need to
stick to them. So let's talk about that.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I think that the key word there is realistic. Don't
you know. If you look at you know, you hear
this episode, you say, oh man, this is a problem.
We got to deal with that. And you go to
your thirteen year old and say, give me your phone
and you smash it with a hammer. That's just not realistic. Probably,
you know, going to pitch a fit because now they
don't have any usage of their cell phone. And so
(10:06):
I think you have to come up with a realistic mindset,
realistic boundaries that you're going to put in place. And
here's another key part about that, stick with them. Yeah,
your kids are going to probably not be if they've
had unlimited access to their smart devices, unlimited access to
usage of TikTok and all these different things. They're probably
(10:28):
not going to be on board with us immediately. Oh yeah, mom, Dad,
the statistics are not so great. So I think that
we need to, you know, cut back on the scape.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I think you're just you know, cutting off their left arm.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Probably one of the biggest questions that's out there, one
of the biggest questions that's asked is what age do
we give our kids a smartphone. Here's another question that
pops up on a regular basis, how much screen time
are you is healthy? How much screen time is healthy
for your young people to have? You know, you got
an eight year old, you've got a thirteen year old.
How do I find the balance there?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Well, I think a realistic way of setting boundaries is
is first knowing how much time you are your children
are spending on those devices. And I know for myself,
like every Sunday, my weekly usage, our average amount of
time pops up on my Apple Watch and it tells
(11:22):
me whether it's up a certain percentage or down a
certain percentage. And sometimes I look at it and go, oh,
my goodness, I didn't realize that I was on my
phone that many hours, you know, averaging per day. And
so I think to be realistic and to be able
to set a healthy boundary, you need to start with knowing,
(11:44):
really how much are you how much time are you
spending on these devices.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, I think that it's great to bring that up
because you know, we're talking about, you know, dealing with
technology with our kiddos. But let's be honest with ourselves
and see how much time we're spending on social media because.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
We are setting the example for our.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Children exactly right. So as a family sit down, have
a conversation about, you know, where you are with technology,
and then make a decision. As mom and dad sit down,
make a decision about what you feel is healthy for
your family. And I've talked to families who say, Okay,
after you know seven o'clock, you know screen time, we.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Shut up all the phones away, but the.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Phones away, We're going to sit down and have dinner
as a family. We're going to spend time together. And
then so you set the boundaries within your household and
make sure that they're realistic. The next thing is this,
at what age do we give our kiddos a smartphone? Well,
here's some statistics for you. I've actually, I think it's
kind of funny because I've had parents tell me that
their kids are asking for smartphones as young as five
(12:47):
and six years old. That's what they want for Christmas.
Stanford University sites that twenty five percent of children receive
their first smartphone by ten point seven age ten point seven,
not quite a less, but that's kind of the age bracket.
Seventy five percent of them receive their first smart device
by the age of twelve point six, about halfway through
(13:10):
being twelve. They receive that first smart device. Now here's
the truth in that regards they There are some who
get that smart device, that smartphone much younger. There are
some who actually get it a little bit older, but
that's the average. We also see that mental health issues
are on the rise amongst people between the ages of
(13:31):
twelve to nineteen years of age, especially when you're dealing
with things like anxiety, especially when you're dealing with things
like depression, those things are on the rise. You will
never convince me that technology does not play into that.
Here's how I know that. When did the smart devices
start entering the scene two thousand and seven, two thousand
and eight, and they have steadily risen throughout the years.
(13:53):
What we're seeing is mental health issues are also trending
towards the rise as we see smartphone usage on the rise.
So you'll never convince me that things like social media Snapchat,
TikTok face, butt book x, smartphones, gaming, especially during the
adolescent years, whenever they're learning the crucial skills like social skills,
(14:15):
things of that nature. You can't convince me that these
things do not play into that. As they're isolating themselves,
as they're constantly looking at that smart device, as they're
gaining their you know, maybe different you know insecurity issues
based off the amount of life self comments, self esteem
issues based off of what people comment on what they post.
(14:37):
So here's what I would tell you, parents, We have
to put boundaries in place, make sure that they're realistic.
But put those boundaries in place as to when they
are going to get the smart device, when they're going
to engage on social media. And as you put those
limits on the screen time, make sure that you back them.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Up and each parent, you're going to have the fight
of the peer pressure. While my friend you know, got
a phone earlier, are you know different ones that are?
You know? They're binding for your kids time, and so
it's important that you put those boundaries in place, limit
that screen time and do it for the for nothing else,
(15:17):
for their mental health and so that they aren't so
stressed out in dealing with self esteem issues and so forth.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Well, I think that you you hit the nail right
on the head. There's to quit worrying about whatever their
other families are doing, quit worrying about what their friends
are doing.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Be concerned about your family and what's best for them.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Exactly right. You are called to parent your kids, not
your neighbor's kids. So focus on your kiddo's and put
those realistic boundaries in place and make sure that you
stick with those realistic boundaries. So all right, what's next?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Okay? So The next thing that we need to do
is focus on the protection over privacy.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
When we were we've talked about this in past episodes.
When we were dating, we had a long distance relationship,
and there was a privacy device that was attached to
the phone, and it was called.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
The phone court, the phone court, and the phone was
attached to the wall.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Normally I would sit in the hallway in my parents'
home and I would talk to you on the phone
and we would talk for hours. But you know, your
parents were privy to what you were talking about because
that court would I think they.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Could hear your conversation, and so you weren't able to
keep secrets and hide things right.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Well, and my mom and dad had the mindset, and
I think it was kind of in that day and
age it was accepted privacy is a privilege. It's not
a right. It's a privilege. Yeah, and so that's something
that you know, trust all those different things that as
you're growing and maturity and that you were gaining. And
so we need to understand that with our kids, privacy
(16:49):
is not it's not a right, it is a privilege.
And as parents, it is our responsibility to protect our
children and we want to protect them from a culture.
The enemy are spiritual lendemy, the devil. His sole purpose
in life is to destroy, and so he wants to
destroy us. He wants to destroy our marriage, he wants
to destroy our family, and he wants to destroy our kiddos.
(17:11):
So it is our responsibility as parents to educate ourselves
about the culture. It is our responsibility as parents who
also educate our children about the agenda of the culture.
John Chapter ten, verse ten says in speaking of the devil,
here says the thief his purpose is to steal, kill,
and destroy, and Jesus says, my purpose is to give
(17:31):
them a rich and satisfying life. So what does that mean.
It means that I'm going to focus on protection over privacy.
Your kiddos are going to scream about I have a
right to privacy. No, you do not have a right
to privacy. It's a privilege, it's not a right. And
so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna do everything
that's within my power to protect you as my kid.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Okay. So one of the things that we did when
our boys did have a cell phone was we told
that we can take your cell phone at any point
and we can look at which way that you're using
your phone, what the text that's being sent, and so forth,
so to keep them from you know, maybe trying to
(18:16):
hide things. And there were times that we did look
at at their phones to see.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Well, with the boys, that's realize when we got when
we bought each of them, their first phone was a
little slighter phone that they could text on. They really
a smartphone, and they didn't start really getting smart you know,
smartphones until they were probably fourteen fifteen years old. We've
talked about this with them and as they were a
little bit older, But what they didn't realize is we
actually bought the phone for them as a way to
(18:42):
punish them if need be, because when we would take
their phone, it literally was like you were like cutting
off their own and they would do everything that they
could to be able to get that phone back. So
it was a way that we utilized as a way
to be able to parent them in a better way.
Now in that regard, here's what I'm going to tell you.
If we're going to focus on protection over privacy, there
(19:03):
are parental controls on the phone.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Use these, use them. Yeah, you definitely have the ability
to control their data use on their phone.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
But here's what I also want to tell you. Your
teenagers are smart enough to figure out how to get
around those parental controls. So what you need to be
able to do as the parent. You need to know
the passwords. You need to regularly check their smart device,
that phone. You need to check their bedroom. And I
remember growing up my mom, you know, usually once a
(19:35):
year she would do what was known as deep cleaning,
where she would go throughout the house and really you know,
deep clean. And there were several times that she went
into my bedroom and she cleaned under the bed and
all this kind of stuff. And this was back, you know,
before I came to christ And I remember I had
some cigarettes hidden away in a secrets place because I
(19:55):
you know, I was probably twelve thirteen years old and
I was smoking. And my found those smokes as she
was cleaning my room. But guess what, it was not
one of these things like, hey, that's my room, you
can't go in there. I deserve privacy. I knew that
I lived in my mom and dad's house and they
could do whatever they want because it wasn't my house,
it was their house.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
You need to understand that that smartphone that you're your
teenager or your preteen has, it's not theirs, it's yours.
You pay the plan, you purchased it. You may have
given it to them as a gift, but it's still yours.
And if you're going to focus on protection over privacy,
what you need to be able to do is have
access to passwords. Had the understanding, just like you said
(20:37):
a few moments ago, Stacy, that we're regularly going to
check your phone, We're regularly going to check in on you,
not to invade any type of privacy, but to protect
you as your parents.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
And parents seems to realize that they are the ones
in control.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
And yeah, it's a lot of times we give into
because they complain, they nag all these.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Different and it's easier to give in to them.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
So I would tell you this, don't give then to them.
Choose to protect your child, Choose to be the parent.
So a couple other things. Make sure as a parent,
you want to delay social media as long as possible.
Social media is one of those things. It is it's kind.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Of its pros and it's kind its cons.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
It's probably got more cons than it.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Does, especially for the younger ones.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yes, And I would tell you that you know, a
lot of times when it comes to self esteem, a
lot of times when it comes to peer pressure. There
are things that our kiddos are facing now that we
did not face when we were young.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And our kids did not until they got older.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
And it's coming against them on social media and it
takes it to a whole another level. So one of
the things that you can see is the amount of
time spent on social media is directly related to loneliness
in their life, a feeling of loneliness, the feeling of
depression within their life, the feeling of anxiety within their lives.
So what that tells me as a parent, I'm going
(21:50):
to do everything that I can. I'm going to focus
on protection over privacy.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
And we live in society where we're being told like, well,
this is how we stay connected, this is how we
know what's going on. But in actuality, we're really more
disconnected than we've ever been because it's strictly social media
and not you know, there's the texting and not the
personal phone call and the personal interaction with people, and
so our kids are not learning how to communicate properly
(22:16):
and they're using everything and you know, short term, you know,
but they're texting on that note.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
What you're talking about is, first of all, we're saying,
set realistic boundaries and stick to them as the parent,
focus on protection over privacy. But what you just shared
actually plays into the next thing we want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Okay, so we want to talk about setting technology free times.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
What you're specifically saying is have times and have it
understood within the family that you're going to create activities.
You're going to create opportunities where everybody is going to
put their phone away and you're going to focus on
what engaging in conversation, spending time together, building your family.
And so I'm going to tell you some things that
you can do, specifically, set times with your family that
(23:02):
no phones are allowed. I kind of gripe about this
a little bit. We do family night usually about every
two weeks or so with our family that all of
our kids are adult. You know, they're not kids anymore,
they're adults, they're married, they've got their own family. We
love to do family night. I like to cook, and
so I'll cook, everybody will come over, and you know,
(23:23):
there's times where I look around and everybody's on their phone,
I'll fuss right, put your phones away, and everybody you
know puts their phone away. Now, I'm not gonna sit
here and pretend like I've never had a moment that
i haven't been on my phone. Sometimes the kids a
fuss at me, put your phone away. But the best
times are whenever everybody is engaging each other. Everybody's having
conversation or developing relationship in a deeper way with each other.
(23:44):
So have those times sect technology free times. It could
be a family gathering where you're gonna, you know, eat
dinner together. It could be a family activity where you're
going to go and do something.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Are sending a certain time at bedtime, you know, this
is when we're going to put our phones away so
that we can go to sleep well.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
And that's what I'll tell you. A lot of times
kiddos they go to bed, then they're on their phone
till you know, one, two.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Three cars some of the all night.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
You need to make sure that that's something that you're monitoring,
that you're on top of. So here's some ideas for you.
Dinner time, great time, put your phones away. Nobody's allowed
to be on your phone while we're at dinner, in
the car, when you're traveling together as a family, everybody
put your phones away. We're going to engage each other.
We're going to talk to one another at bedtime. No
(24:34):
phones are allowed after we lay down to go to bed.
I don't care if you're sixteen years old. You want
to talk to your boyfriend and girlfriend whatever. Put those
phones away. And you have to look for those moments
with your kids that you can put your phone away,
that you can engage. You can talk about what is
going on in life, how you're doing, how your kiddo's doing,
(24:55):
how the family is doing. Take advantage of those times,
because what happens is they actually build your f So
set technology free times. All right, what's the next well.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
And I just want to say for the parents, that's
something that you have to stay on top of because
it will definitely get away from you. Be intentional on that.
So we also need to stay current with technology.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Now that's a scary thought because I am fifty one,
going to be fifty two years old here rather soon
you're close to that one. Actually, you're not here to
talk about my age twenty nine years of age and
holding but a lot of times whenever you start getting
a little bit older, even as a parent with kiddos,
you are of the mindset like, man, that's scary. I
don't know, you know, all the stuff to keep up
(25:36):
with TikTok? What is that? I don't even know what
that is. You know, I'm not saying I don't know
what that is. I'm talking as a parent who might
say I don't know how to deal with that. So
technology can be intimidating. But here's the thought. It's our kids.
So we have to know that in our kids world,
we want to stay current. We're going to put the
work in to build our family, so we need to
(26:00):
make sure that we're up to date on what's going on.
We all see these things, you know, on social media,
the little code talk and all that kind of stuff.
What does that mean. I've gone to my kids before
like what does this mean? Yeah, and they will tell
me what that means.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
So when technology is changing so quickly and it is
hard to stay on top of it, but that's something
that you need to stay current with.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I said this sometime back. It is not a sin
to grow old, but our kids may get caught up
in sin if we become a dinosaur to technology. So
we need to do everything that we can to make
sure that we are doing what we can as a
parent to stay current with technology. And you've got to
look at the amount of time that you're spending on
(26:41):
your smart device, whether it's social media, texting, whatever. Is
there an unhealthy amount of time being spent on your phone?
And so in that regard, change always begins with me.
Don't focus on the kiddos as much as myself. What
are the things that need to change in me? And
then and is I begin to see God change those things,
(27:02):
then I can begin to focus on leading my family
towards that change. Because here's what I'm gonna tell you.
If I'm not willing to change, then it's going to
be very hard for me to bring change into my family.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
And our kids are watching us, and they're going to say, well, dad, mom,
you're on your phone all the time, and so why
are you asking me not to be on the phone.
So I think you know, by watching, like I mentioned earlier,
you know, our weekly, our weekly allowance of time you
know pops up on our phone, we see how much
(27:34):
we're using technology as well, and so make it a
goal for us to like set down our phones and
be that example for our children.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Absolutely, so it starts with an honest evaluation. It starts
with maybe me needing to repent of some things that
I've allowed, to begin to take priority within my life
and take control of my life, and then make the
changes in my life and then begin to bring those
changes within the family. So I feel like we've giving you,
guys some great things to talk about within your marriage,
(28:03):
within your family, some great resources for you to be
able to talk about and really have honest, open communication
within the family.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I think so today that's it for this episode. Hope
you guys have had a great time, and as always,
like subscribe, share, We hope that you're enjoying the Love
Like Crazy podcast. I know we're happy, absolute blast. I
love hanging out with you, yes, but it's a lot
of fun to be able to sit and just kind
of share some things that are on our heart and
give us a review, leave a comment. We love to
(28:35):
hear from.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
You guys, as we you in fact help us build
this podcast, So thank you so much, and as always,
I'm Jay and this is Love Like Crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
D
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