July 30, 2025 • 25 mins
In this special behind-the-scenes episode of Love Like Crazy, we switch things up! Jay Coleman, co-host and pastor, sits down on the other side of the mic to be interviewed by our very own podcast producer, Carlos of Hi Hello Labs. This honest and heartfelt conversation dives into the challenges of balancing marriage, ministry, fatherhood, and legacy.
Jay opens up about the pressure of leadership, the health scare that changed everything, what he wishes he had done differently with his sons, and how building a strong team and church community has shaped his calling.
Whether you're a pastor, parent, entrepreneur, or someone trying to navigate purpose and priorities — this raw episode will encourage you.
Stay tuned for Stacey's upcoming interview!
If this conversation spoke to you, please like, subscribe, and share with someone who could use a dose of honesty and hope. Your support helps us continue sharing stories that build stronger marriages and families rooted in faith.
----------------------------------------
Don’t forget to:
Like, subscribe, and leave a comment with future topic suggestions Share this episode with friends or anyone facing a tough season
Join us next time as Jay and Stacey share more insightful and family based content.
------------------------------------
Podcast Produced by Hi Hello Labs Website: hihellolabs.com
Jay opens up about the pressure of leadership, the health scare that changed everything, what he wishes he had done differently with his sons, and how building a strong team and church community has shaped his calling.
Whether you're a pastor, parent, entrepreneur, or someone trying to navigate purpose and priorities — this raw episode will encourage you.
Stay tuned for Stacey's upcoming interview!
If this conversation spoke to you, please like, subscribe, and share with someone who could use a dose of honesty and hope. Your support helps us continue sharing stories that build stronger marriages and families rooted in faith.
----------------------------------------
Don’t forget to:
Like, subscribe, and leave a comment with future topic suggestions Share this episode with friends or anyone facing a tough season
Join us next time as Jay and Stacey share more insightful and family based content.
------------------------------------
Podcast Produced by Hi Hello Labs Website: hihellolabs.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hello everyone, thank you for being a part of the
Lovelike Crazy Podcast. Today, we've actually done something a little
bit different today. We just wanted to be candid today
and really open and honest with you, and so we've
kind of changed things up. You guys see us all
oftentimes interview other people and hear their side of the story,
their conversation, and so today we actually I was able
(00:44):
to sit down with our producer, Carlo Carlos Flores from
High Hello Labs, and Carlos asked me some questions. He
interviewed me. You're going to see Stacy in another episode
as he interviews her and asks her different questions, and
we just shared her heart. We were just open and
honest about these different questions that he asked and it
was pretty refreshing. It was a lot of fun to
(01:05):
be able to do that. And before we get into
this interview, I want to thank you guys for being
a part of this podcast. The response that you've given
us has been wonderful, and so I would encourage you
to continue. If you are enjoying this to like, hit
that little like button. If you're watching on YouTube, hit
that subscribe button, because what that does It alerts you
(01:26):
to upcoming episodes and things that can build your marriage
and your family in a stronger way. So thank you
for helping us to push this podcast forward. It's been
so much fun watching all the things that the Lord
has done. So let's jump into this interview together. Hello, Jenny,
Hey Carlos, thank you for.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Allowing me to sit down and ask a few questions.
I know it's pretty weird because I'm on the other
side of the other side.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
It's a different type of episode of love like crazy,
and usually you're behind the scenes and it's like people
here is reference Carlos, but you know, to have you
here sitting with me and you and Carolyn have been
a guest on the podcast before, but this is different
and I'm glad we're doing this.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
As we've gone through quite a few years now with
the pod, you know, there's been a lot of questions
and a lot of trying to understand more who Jay
and Stac are as not just pastors, but a marriage,
a couple, parents now grandparents. So what would you say
as a man is one of the things that has
(02:30):
really challenged you to be able to balance out marriage,
being a grandparent, being a parent, But also being the
head of a pretty successful church.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, I think that learning to manage your time appropriately,
you know, it's kind of one of the things that
I have the tendency of pouring myself into ministry one
hundred percent of because I you know, you've in past
episodes you've heard my wife talk about her dad was
a workaholic. I have the tendency because of the work
ethic that was instilled in me by my dad. I
(03:09):
love to give of myself one hundred percent to a
project to build the church, and I know it's all
for the Lord. We're building this thing for him. It's
not for Jay's glory, It's for the Lord's glory. But
to find to strike a balance that is healthy to
where I am making sure that I'm doing the responsibilities
(03:30):
of what God has called me to, but I'm also
trying I'm pouring time into my marriage. I'm building my wife,
I'm building my kids, my family and now my grandkids.
And I realize now as I've gotten a little bit older,
I'm better at balancing that. Whenever I was young, you know,
it was nothing to work, you know, forty sixty eighty hours.
(03:51):
I know people hear that like you know, like what
you know work in ministry, that that long of a
period of time. But when we were under instruction, we
went through a year long period of I didn't take
any days off and would work Monday through Friday is
the general contractor on the project, from six am till
(04:12):
six in the evening. Then Saturday was sermon prep day.
We were meeting in a school, had to go, you know,
set up the church. Sunday you preach, and there were
some counseling sessions on Sundays as well. Then Monday right
back at it's a seven days a week. I remember
I took Christmas Day off I think Christmas Eve as well,
but we were steady back on it. We didn't take
(04:33):
a vacation or anything. And it was one of those
seasons in life that we recognized was really really hard,
really difficult. But I was doing this for the Lord,
pouring myself into it. But I came to the place
where I realized that ain't healthy. That is not healthy
for me or my wife or my kids. And what
good does it do to build this church for the Lord?
(04:53):
If you're you know, you flame out or you know,
you pay the price for your mental health.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Did you realize it wasn't healthy because something happened, or
did you just clicked One.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Day, Well, I had a little health scare. It was
probably about a month before we launched the church. I
had gone to a pastor's breakfast and there's a group
of us progressive pastors. We get together monthly. There's usually
anywhere from eight to twelve of us that gather and
it's a great I look forward to it every month.
(05:27):
And that day, in particular, it was at a church
called Victory Harvest over on Flannery Drive, which was only
about probably five miles from where our church our church is,
And as we're leaving out of that breakfast, all of
a sudden, I get hit with a dizzy spell. And
I make it to my truck and I've never had vertigo.
(05:48):
I've heard verdigo before, but not like that. And I'm like, well,
I'll be okay. Well, I pull out on the highway
and I can't drive. I'm about to pass out. And
I pull into this parking lot of this businesses Sex
to the church, and I start thinking, am I having
a stroke? What's going on? And I staggered. I literally
fall through the door of that business freak all everybody
(06:09):
out the receptionist and they want to do we need
to call an anulyst. I know, just just call my
wife and uh.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Just so happens.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
There was a guy working there who came to the
church and he volunteered. He said, I'll take you to
the church. So he drove me to the church. We
wind up going to the doctor's office. They did ekg's.
They ran all these different tests and it was nothing
other than my blood pressure that they had put me
on blood pressure meds during the during the construction of
the church, but my blood pressure went sky high and
(06:40):
it caused that episode. And so the doctor told me,
he said, you know, they adjusted my medication. But that
little scare kind of made me realize, like, you know what,
this is not worth. You know, I'll give my life
or the cause of Christ, but I'm not going to
work myself into a grave because my family, my wife,
(07:00):
they need me here and the church needs me here
as well.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
So that kind of taught me.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
And there's the ebb and flow that we go through
season station and I we communicate about this, Hey, we're
going into a season and ministry now it's extremely busy,
so we know we're gonna pour everything into this. We're
gonna work hard, but then when their season comes to rest,
we're gonna rest. Well.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
A lot of people don't know this, but you have
multiple jobs. You're not just a pastor.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I think when it comes to pastors, everyone thinks like, oh,
they need to be there twenty four to seven, you know,
helping out, doing this, doing that. When you're called to
do this or a funeral or a wedding, you have
to be there. And sometimes how do you split yourself
up to so many needs?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I hate to tell people know, you know, when they're
going through that time of grieving and hurting, I want
to be able to be there for them. So that's
been a difficult one for me to be able to,
you know, have to look at something and say, well,
I'm going to be out of town on this time,
or you know, when you're dealing with budgeting or you're
(08:08):
dealing with things that just pop up or hospital visits.
The greatest thing for me has been able to, you know,
over the years, we've been able to build a good
team and we've had different staff members that we've been
able to hire.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
And at first I was kind of like, well.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I got this, I can handle this, and I would
not release things to them.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
But over the course of.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Time, and honestly, as I've matured and grown up a
little bit, I realized that maybe my way is not
the best way, and maybe this person can handle this
a little bit better than me, or their personality is
a little bit better match for this. And so I've
allowed these different individuals to step in and help with ministry,
and I've learned the value of handing things off right.
(08:51):
You know, I think a lot of times we talk
about delegating things off to other people, and I kind
of looked at that unfortunately as a way like I'm
pushing my response abilities off on other people. But you
get a lot more accomplished when you work together as
a team. And it's not necessarily pushing my responsibilities off
on other people. It's allowing them to participate and be
a part of what God's called all of.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Us to do.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Totally makes sense now, as you you know, exercise your
leadership at church, you exercise your leadership at home. Has
there any can you pinpoint any sort of situation where
you're like, man, I remember this happened and I had
to say no, and it hurt me to say no,
(09:36):
but it had to be done, whether it was a
game for one of the boys or whether it.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Was disappointing a church member.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Well, I know one of the things that we had
pop up was the boys played sports in high school.
That was back in the season when we were doing
Wednesday night services, and Stacey and I would always make
sure that like when Tyler played, he was playing football
and he we had games on Wednesday nights, I was
teaching on Wednesday nights. And at that point we really
didn't have a very large staff. We didn't really have
(10:07):
ones who could accommodate a service, and so, you know,
but what we made sure that we would do is
either I would teach or Stacey would teach, but one
of us was always at his game, and because we
wanted him to see us in the stands. You know,
we didn't we didn't travel much with them, but if
there were home games, we were all one of us
(10:28):
was always in the stands. I know, for me, there
was something that popped up that was very, very personal.
It was the second Easter. I think it was the
second Easter or that we had launched as a church,
might have been the first Easter, and I had a
very very close friend that suddenly passed away. We had
an entire week lined up of serving in the community.
(10:50):
We used to do what we called the Great a Hunt,
you know, one hundred thousand candy stuffed Easter eggs. We'd
actually expanded that to two locations. I mean, it was
just a massive under taking. We would have anywhere from
five to ten thousand people show up for this Easter
a Hunt, so it was a massive ordeal. And on
top of that, leading up to that, we would do
surf projects, feeding the school faculty at all these different
(11:13):
schools in the community, picking up trash out of the ditches.
You just serve things, surf projects in the community. Well,
my friend passed away. If memory sergon correctly, it was
a Sunday night. I get to call at eleven o'clock
at night, jumping my vehicle, drive an iron fifteen minutes
to laugh yet and I'm there with his wife and.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Family and then get back in my vehicle.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Made it back to Baton Rouge about six o'clock in
the morning, and I remember just sitting in my office
closing that I didn't wan anybody coming in, but I could.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Hear there were people showing up already.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Because they were getting ready to start cooking, prepping for
all these SERF projects.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
And I didn't.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Really want to talk to anybody, didn't really want to
be around anybody, just sitting in my office and sobbing
because I had lost such a close friend.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And the cool part.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Was those were all projects that I had to say
yes to that week. I have to be there, I've
got to serve, I've got to do all these things.
But our serve team, the cooking team, all these different
ones that were involved in this, they were the ones
who stepped up and they said, you know what, you
don't need.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
We got this. We got this.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And because of the culture that we had built, because
of ones with such a heart to serve, my wife
and I were able to take a step back and
attend to the funeral services that we go be with
the family that week grieve because all of our boys
had lost one that they felt that, you know, it
was like a grandpa to them, And it was because
it was one of the.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Things that.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I probably you know, that pressing on me of you've
got to do this, You've got to be there and
do all these projects. But really like Hey, I've got
something that's even more important to attend to this week.
And because of the team that we had in place, Uh,
it allowed us to step back and really really be
(13:06):
there and and grieve as a family. And so that
that that really meant a lot, really meant a lot.
I don't know if that's answering you question or not.
It was something very very personal that that was a
week the church took care of us, you know, it
really took care of us. They saw what we were
walking through and instead of hey, pastor needs to do
this and this and be here for that, we really
(13:27):
saw the church and action stepping up and think care
of us.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Well, isn't it amazing that you you reap what you've suw.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, it's you know, a lot of times as people,
it's hard, it's hard to receive, you know. So I'm
the one who's always helping, I'm the one who's always doing,
and to be in that position of having to receive
that that was a hard feel to swallow.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
But I know you mentioned this before as well with
the flood and your house, where a lot of church
members got together and actually helped out.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yeah, that was probably one of the most helpless feelings
you ever had, because you just kind of look around
at all the devastation in the area. It's not just
my home, it's all my neighbors, probably seventy seventy five
percent of the church walking through the same thing, the
community walking through the same thing, And there was almost
just feeling not just helplessness, but hopelessness.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
And there's so much to do, and people just showed up. Yeah,
they just showed up, and we didn't have to tell them.
They just did.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I think, you know, just speaking to men in general
and leaders and entrepreneurs, you can't force people to do
something they don't want to do. But when they do
something out of their heart or the abundance of their
joy to do it, that's when you're like, Okay, I'm
leading the right way.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Yeah, what advice would.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
You give men, businessmen leaders out there that are starting
out fresh new You've been in let's call it in
leadership for what now, twenty plus thirty thirty years.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Thirty years?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
What advice would you give us new leaders on trying
to build a good team.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I know for us, we were so excited whenever we
were able to start And I'm gonna talk about paid
staff when we were able to start hiring people to
help in the process. But I think a lot of
times you're so excited to start hiring people you don't
realize that that that brings in a whole new set
of challenges in with itself, because now you're responsible for
(15:33):
these individuals that you are.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Paying a salary to.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
You're responsible for not just them, but their families as well,
And there are challenges because you're dealing with personalities. You're
dealing with with different individuals with different opinions and ideas.
And I said this a few minutes ago. Sometimes because
my mindset was my way is the right way, this
is how we're going to do it, and leadership has
(15:58):
taught me this way. My way is not necessarily always
the best way. When you have people who are qualified
leaders stepping into positions and wanting to help move the
baton down the field, a lot of times the ideas
that they have might be even better than the ones
that you have. And it's learning to operate as a team.
So I've for me, I've come to a place where
I learned I value the opinions of my team members.
(16:20):
They realize that, hey, we may not do this. We
may not passionately, may not take my idea and run
with it, but I want to hear all their voices.
They've all got a voice, they're all valuable in the process.
And so now we sit around, and we've been doing
this for years, we sit around when something's coming up,
and we're going to have our team meetings and we're
going to discuss things, and I want to know what's
(16:41):
your opinion, what do you think of this? What do
you think of this? And I'm taking mental notes because
some of those things, you know, we may utilize, some
of them we may not utilize. So I would tell
leaders to the ones that are on your team, value
them as people, value their opinion, and don't just see
(17:02):
them as an employee. Don't just see them as somebody
that that's a workhorse in your organization, but you know,
build into that place where your family and really learn
to value that employees are you know that that person's
that teammate's opinion because they bring value to to the
to the table.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Now, obviously, your your podcast is about marriage, building legacy family.
You have three amazing sons.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
I do and three amazing daughter in laws.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
And three amazing daughter in laws and six amazing grandchildren.
What pressure would you say you've been on, if any,
to leave a legacy worth living?
Speaker 1 (17:58):
You know, I think every pastor, and I don't know
if this translates over to the business world or not.
I think that if I had a business, I would
want my sons to take over the business and help
it thrive and go to another level. I can't really
think of another pastor that does not. You know, maybe
think along that same vein that I'd like to lead
(18:20):
this church. I'd love to see my sons step into
the place where they're leading and pastoring, and eventually they
become the next generation takes it in my son's role
with it. I came to grips with this many years ago.
My sons may not be called a ministry, and I
remember seeing the statistic that eighty percent of men hate
their jobs. And I love what I do. There are
(18:44):
hard days, there are days that are stressful, but by
and large, I love what I do. I love interacting
with our church congregation. I love interacting with the community.
I love being able to speak the vision and direction
that the Lord has for our church and for their lives.
On Sunday mornings, as I preach and teach, but I
didn't want my sons doing something just because Dad wanted
(19:06):
them to. I wanted them to be the best welder, teacher,
garbage man that God has called them to be if
they really feel that that is what He has called
them to do. I wanted them to love what they do.
So you know, Consequently, I wound up with one son
who is in ministry. He's our worship pastor, but he
has a business on the side. I have another son
(19:26):
who works in a plant. I have another son who
has his own business. And the legacy that I wanted
to really impress in them is I had a lot
of opportunities and a lot of options in front of me.
Whenever I stepped into marrying my wife and what am
I gonna do with my life? There were a lot
of opportunities there. God blessed me with a lot of
tremendous opportunities. But every one of those that I stepped into,
(19:49):
I really wasn't happy. I wanted to be, and I
was not happy until I was able to step into
the calling that God had for my life. So the
legacy that I wanted to leave behind for my sons
was God has a calling for you, no matter what
it is, whether it's ministry or whether it's running a business,
Step into that calling and be a man of God
that He uses in that calling to make a difference
(20:11):
in this world around you.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
And it's not just them.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I'd like to see that one of these days from
my grandkids as well.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Do you have any regrets?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
The only regret that I have is I had a
momentary thought years ago, whenever bitcoin was first popping on
the scene. I would just make these little random investments,
you know, like one hundred bucks here there or whatever.
And it was probably I don't know, twenty twelve, twenty thirteen,
I had a thought like I'd drop one hundred bucks
(20:40):
on that bitcoin thing, and I don't.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Know it was.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
I don't remember what it was, maybe eight cents, ten
cents a coin at that point. That's a regret because
everybody sees where it is now. But that's a silly regret.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
But go.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I often think back to that, like, man, that would
have been awesome them. But there are some things with
the boys that I wish I had done differently. I
did a really good job of teaching my boys to pray,
you know, the prayer is crucial and pivotal in your
walk with the Lord. So I felt like I did
a good job of teaching them to pray. I feel
(21:19):
like I did a good job of teaching them the
importance of being involved, invested, and committed within the local church.
If I could go back and do things a little
bit different with my boys, I probably would have done
a better job of really discipling them in the direction of,
you know, spending time in them and sitting them down
and teaching them the importance of daily devotion. I did
(21:41):
those things myself, but I didn't necessarily sit them down
and walk. We would have family time where we would
do you know, praise and worship or we'd devotion. We
did I had a lot of time as a family
we prayed together. But that's kind of one thing. If
I could go back, I probably would have been more
intentional on walking them through through the.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Process of discipleship a little bit better.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Last question, Kap.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
As your producer, I know one of your biggest audiences
is your church body. If you could tell them something
in a few sentences, what would you tell them, which
I'm sure they'll listen.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, there's a lot that I would tell them. First
of all, Yeah, I know it's a lot to go
to a church and to invest your life into that
community of believers. That's a big step, that's a big commitment.
And man, we've been blessed. We launched the church and
Community two thousand and eight and it's just been a
(22:45):
it's been a rocket ride ever since. I mean, the
Lord has done some really amazing things. And I would
first of all just tell our church and me, thank
you so much for trusting in Stacy.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
And I as your pastors.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Thank you for the way that I know everybody always
looks at you know, they hear me speak on Sundays,
they hear Stacy speak on Sundays. But our church is
just done a really good job of serving not just us,
but one another, serving the community, and we've just really
been blessed to be a part of that. To step back,
(23:16):
it's been a tremendous blessing of watching different church family
step into the giftings. They see those giftings that God
has for them, and then they step out and begin
to use those giftings. And it's just been really a
cool thing to see that, to see them embrace purpose.
I know that that's a catchword these days. You know
Rick Warren, you know, probably launched that years ago, the
(23:40):
purpose driven life, and ever since then. Purpose God is
a purpose God as a plan. But it's a real
big catch thing that people run with. But I really
mean that whenever I see people in our church, it's
like their eyes they get born again and then boom,
they realize God has a purpose for me and these
giftings He's placed in my life, and they get really
excited about serve being are sharing the gospel, or they
(24:03):
get fired up about you know, engaging with the Lord
in prayer. And it's just been really a neat thing
to be a part of that process, to see God
use our church family in that way. So I would
just say thank you for having an open heart to
the Lord and being able to be led by the Lord.
That's just a blessing to me, is Pastor, Because what's
(24:25):
the point I mean, if you just have church and
have a bunch of people show up and nobody's growing,
and nobody's getting born again, and nobody's serving, and nobody's
you know, loving, what's the point that that's that's not
what God has called us to. But to really see
a church thrive and move in the direction of what
you read about in the.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Book of Acts.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
That that's what blesses me, That's what blesses me and Stacy.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Both, Jay, thank you so much for sitting with us.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I appreciate a few questions and appreciate you for letting
me be honest today and just share my thoughts. Thank
you for listening of this interview. And I hope that
our genuineness has been a blessing to you as we
answer these different questions that Carlos asked as he talked
about family and talked about marriage and talked about ministry.
Because a lot of people are curious, they want to know,
(25:13):
make sure that you like, you subscribe, you share, leave
us a comment, give us a review, and until next time,
I'm Jay and this is Love Life Crazy.
Hello everyone, thank you for being a part of the
Lovelike Crazy Podcast. Today, we've actually done something a little
bit different today. We just wanted to be candid today
and really open and honest with you, and so we've
kind of changed things up. You guys see us all
oftentimes interview other people and hear their side of the story,
their conversation, and so today we actually I was able
(00:44):
to sit down with our producer, Carlo Carlos Flores from
High Hello Labs, and Carlos asked me some questions. He
interviewed me. You're going to see Stacy in another episode
as he interviews her and asks her different questions, and
we just shared her heart. We were just open and
honest about these different questions that he asked and it
was pretty refreshing. It was a lot of fun to
(01:05):
be able to do that. And before we get into
this interview, I want to thank you guys for being
a part of this podcast. The response that you've given
us has been wonderful, and so I would encourage you
to continue. If you are enjoying this to like, hit
that little like button. If you're watching on YouTube, hit
that subscribe button, because what that does It alerts you
(01:26):
to upcoming episodes and things that can build your marriage
and your family in a stronger way. So thank you
for helping us to push this podcast forward. It's been
so much fun watching all the things that the Lord
has done. So let's jump into this interview together. Hello, Jenny,
Hey Carlos, thank you for.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Allowing me to sit down and ask a few questions.
I know it's pretty weird because I'm on the other
side of the other side.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
It's a different type of episode of love like crazy,
and usually you're behind the scenes and it's like people
here is reference Carlos, but you know, to have you
here sitting with me and you and Carolyn have been
a guest on the podcast before, but this is different
and I'm glad we're doing this.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
As we've gone through quite a few years now with
the pod, you know, there's been a lot of questions
and a lot of trying to understand more who Jay
and Stac are as not just pastors, but a marriage,
a couple, parents now grandparents. So what would you say
as a man is one of the things that has
(02:30):
really challenged you to be able to balance out marriage,
being a grandparent, being a parent, But also being the
head of a pretty successful church.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, I think that learning to manage your time appropriately,
you know, it's kind of one of the things that
I have the tendency of pouring myself into ministry one
hundred percent of because I you know, you've in past
episodes you've heard my wife talk about her dad was
a workaholic. I have the tendency because of the work
ethic that was instilled in me by my dad. I
(03:09):
love to give of myself one hundred percent to a
project to build the church, and I know it's all
for the Lord. We're building this thing for him. It's
not for Jay's glory, It's for the Lord's glory. But
to find to strike a balance that is healthy to
where I am making sure that I'm doing the responsibilities
(03:30):
of what God has called me to, but I'm also
trying I'm pouring time into my marriage. I'm building my wife,
I'm building my kids, my family and now my grandkids.
And I realize now as I've gotten a little bit older,
I'm better at balancing that. Whenever I was young, you know,
it was nothing to work, you know, forty sixty eighty hours.
(03:51):
I know people hear that like you know, like what
you know work in ministry, that that long of a
period of time. But when we were under instruction, we
went through a year long period of I didn't take
any days off and would work Monday through Friday is
the general contractor on the project, from six am till
(04:12):
six in the evening. Then Saturday was sermon prep day.
We were meeting in a school, had to go, you know,
set up the church. Sunday you preach, and there were
some counseling sessions on Sundays as well. Then Monday right
back at it's a seven days a week. I remember
I took Christmas Day off I think Christmas Eve as well,
but we were steady back on it. We didn't take
(04:33):
a vacation or anything. And it was one of those
seasons in life that we recognized was really really hard,
really difficult. But I was doing this for the Lord,
pouring myself into it. But I came to the place
where I realized that ain't healthy. That is not healthy
for me or my wife or my kids. And what
good does it do to build this church for the Lord?
(04:53):
If you're you know, you flame out or you know,
you pay the price for your mental health.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Did you realize it wasn't healthy because something happened, or
did you just clicked One.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Day, Well, I had a little health scare. It was
probably about a month before we launched the church. I
had gone to a pastor's breakfast and there's a group
of us progressive pastors. We get together monthly. There's usually
anywhere from eight to twelve of us that gather and
it's a great I look forward to it every month.
(05:27):
And that day, in particular, it was at a church
called Victory Harvest over on Flannery Drive, which was only
about probably five miles from where our church our church is,
And as we're leaving out of that breakfast, all of
a sudden, I get hit with a dizzy spell. And
I make it to my truck and I've never had vertigo.
(05:48):
I've heard verdigo before, but not like that. And I'm like, well,
I'll be okay. Well, I pull out on the highway
and I can't drive. I'm about to pass out. And
I pull into this parking lot of this businesses Sex
to the church, and I start thinking, am I having
a stroke? What's going on? And I staggered. I literally
fall through the door of that business freak all everybody
(06:09):
out the receptionist and they want to do we need
to call an anulyst. I know, just just call my
wife and uh.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Just so happens.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
There was a guy working there who came to the
church and he volunteered. He said, I'll take you to
the church. So he drove me to the church. We
wind up going to the doctor's office. They did ekg's.
They ran all these different tests and it was nothing
other than my blood pressure that they had put me
on blood pressure meds during the during the construction of
the church, but my blood pressure went sky high and
(06:40):
it caused that episode. And so the doctor told me,
he said, you know, they adjusted my medication. But that
little scare kind of made me realize, like, you know what,
this is not worth. You know, I'll give my life
or the cause of Christ, but I'm not going to
work myself into a grave because my family, my wife,
(07:00):
they need me here and the church needs me here
as well.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
So that kind of taught me.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
And there's the ebb and flow that we go through
season station and I we communicate about this, Hey, we're
going into a season and ministry now it's extremely busy,
so we know we're gonna pour everything into this. We're
gonna work hard, but then when their season comes to rest,
we're gonna rest. Well.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
A lot of people don't know this, but you have
multiple jobs. You're not just a pastor.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I think when it comes to pastors, everyone thinks like, oh,
they need to be there twenty four to seven, you know,
helping out, doing this, doing that. When you're called to
do this or a funeral or a wedding, you have
to be there. And sometimes how do you split yourself
up to so many needs?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I hate to tell people know, you know, when they're
going through that time of grieving and hurting, I want
to be able to be there for them. So that's
been a difficult one for me to be able to,
you know, have to look at something and say, well,
I'm going to be out of town on this time,
or you know, when you're dealing with budgeting or you're
(08:08):
dealing with things that just pop up or hospital visits.
The greatest thing for me has been able to, you know,
over the years, we've been able to build a good
team and we've had different staff members that we've been
able to hire.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
And at first I was kind of like, well.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I got this, I can handle this, and I would
not release things to them.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
But over the course of.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Time, and honestly, as I've matured and grown up a
little bit, I realized that maybe my way is not
the best way, and maybe this person can handle this
a little bit better than me, or their personality is
a little bit better match for this. And so I've
allowed these different individuals to step in and help with ministry,
and I've learned the value of handing things off right.
(08:51):
You know, I think a lot of times we talk
about delegating things off to other people, and I kind
of looked at that unfortunately as a way like I'm
pushing my response abilities off on other people. But you
get a lot more accomplished when you work together as
a team. And it's not necessarily pushing my responsibilities off
on other people. It's allowing them to participate and be
a part of what God's called all of.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Us to do.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Totally makes sense now, as you you know, exercise your
leadership at church, you exercise your leadership at home. Has
there any can you pinpoint any sort of situation where
you're like, man, I remember this happened and I had
to say no, and it hurt me to say no,
(09:36):
but it had to be done, whether it was a
game for one of the boys or whether it.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Was disappointing a church member.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Well, I know one of the things that we had
pop up was the boys played sports in high school.
That was back in the season when we were doing
Wednesday night services, and Stacey and I would always make
sure that like when Tyler played, he was playing football
and he we had games on Wednesday nights, I was
teaching on Wednesday nights. And at that point we really
didn't have a very large staff. We didn't really have
(10:07):
ones who could accommodate a service, and so, you know,
but what we made sure that we would do is
either I would teach or Stacey would teach, but one
of us was always at his game, and because we
wanted him to see us in the stands. You know,
we didn't we didn't travel much with them, but if
there were home games, we were all one of us
(10:28):
was always in the stands. I know, for me, there
was something that popped up that was very, very personal.
It was the second Easter. I think it was the
second Easter or that we had launched as a church,
might have been the first Easter, and I had a
very very close friend that suddenly passed away. We had
an entire week lined up of serving in the community.
(10:50):
We used to do what we called the Great a Hunt,
you know, one hundred thousand candy stuffed Easter eggs. We'd
actually expanded that to two locations. I mean, it was
just a massive under taking. We would have anywhere from
five to ten thousand people show up for this Easter
a Hunt, so it was a massive ordeal. And on
top of that, leading up to that, we would do
surf projects, feeding the school faculty at all these different
(11:13):
schools in the community, picking up trash out of the ditches.
You just serve things, surf projects in the community. Well,
my friend passed away. If memory sergon correctly, it was
a Sunday night. I get to call at eleven o'clock
at night, jumping my vehicle, drive an iron fifteen minutes
to laugh yet and I'm there with his wife and.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Family and then get back in my vehicle.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Made it back to Baton Rouge about six o'clock in
the morning, and I remember just sitting in my office
closing that I didn't wan anybody coming in, but I could.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Hear there were people showing up already.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Because they were getting ready to start cooking, prepping for
all these SERF projects.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
And I didn't.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Really want to talk to anybody, didn't really want to
be around anybody, just sitting in my office and sobbing
because I had lost such a close friend.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And the cool part.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Was those were all projects that I had to say
yes to that week. I have to be there, I've
got to serve, I've got to do all these things.
But our serve team, the cooking team, all these different
ones that were involved in this, they were the ones
who stepped up and they said, you know what, you
don't need.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
We got this. We got this.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And because of the culture that we had built, because
of ones with such a heart to serve, my wife
and I were able to take a step back and
attend to the funeral services that we go be with
the family that week grieve because all of our boys
had lost one that they felt that, you know, it
was like a grandpa to them, And it was because
it was one of the.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Things that.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I probably you know, that pressing on me of you've
got to do this, You've got to be there and
do all these projects. But really like Hey, I've got
something that's even more important to attend to this week.
And because of the team that we had in place, Uh,
it allowed us to step back and really really be
(13:06):
there and and grieve as a family. And so that
that that really meant a lot, really meant a lot.
I don't know if that's answering you question or not.
It was something very very personal that that was a
week the church took care of us, you know, it
really took care of us. They saw what we were
walking through and instead of hey, pastor needs to do
this and this and be here for that, we really
(13:27):
saw the church and action stepping up and think care
of us.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Well, isn't it amazing that you you reap what you've suw.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, it's you know, a lot of times as people,
it's hard, it's hard to receive, you know. So I'm
the one who's always helping, I'm the one who's always doing,
and to be in that position of having to receive
that that was a hard feel to swallow.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
But I know you mentioned this before as well with
the flood and your house, where a lot of church
members got together and actually helped out.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yeah, that was probably one of the most helpless feelings
you ever had, because you just kind of look around
at all the devastation in the area. It's not just
my home, it's all my neighbors, probably seventy seventy five
percent of the church walking through the same thing, the
community walking through the same thing, And there was almost
just feeling not just helplessness, but hopelessness.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
And there's so much to do, and people just showed up. Yeah,
they just showed up, and we didn't have to tell them.
They just did.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I think, you know, just speaking to men in general
and leaders and entrepreneurs, you can't force people to do
something they don't want to do. But when they do
something out of their heart or the abundance of their
joy to do it, that's when you're like, Okay, I'm
leading the right way.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Yeah, what advice would.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
You give men, businessmen leaders out there that are starting
out fresh new You've been in let's call it in
leadership for what now, twenty plus thirty thirty years.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Thirty years?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
What advice would you give us new leaders on trying
to build a good team.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I know for us, we were so excited whenever we
were able to start And I'm gonna talk about paid
staff when we were able to start hiring people to
help in the process. But I think a lot of
times you're so excited to start hiring people you don't
realize that that that brings in a whole new set
of challenges in with itself, because now you're responsible for
(15:33):
these individuals that you are.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Paying a salary to.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
You're responsible for not just them, but their families as well,
And there are challenges because you're dealing with personalities. You're
dealing with with different individuals with different opinions and ideas.
And I said this a few minutes ago. Sometimes because
my mindset was my way is the right way, this
is how we're going to do it, and leadership has
(15:58):
taught me this way. My way is not necessarily always
the best way. When you have people who are qualified
leaders stepping into positions and wanting to help move the
baton down the field, a lot of times the ideas
that they have might be even better than the ones
that you have. And it's learning to operate as a team.
So I've for me, I've come to a place where
I learned I value the opinions of my team members.
(16:20):
They realize that, hey, we may not do this. We
may not passionately, may not take my idea and run
with it, but I want to hear all their voices.
They've all got a voice, they're all valuable in the process.
And so now we sit around, and we've been doing
this for years, we sit around when something's coming up,
and we're going to have our team meetings and we're
going to discuss things, and I want to know what's
(16:41):
your opinion, what do you think of this? What do
you think of this? And I'm taking mental notes because
some of those things, you know, we may utilize, some
of them we may not utilize. So I would tell
leaders to the ones that are on your team, value
them as people, value their opinion, and don't just see
(17:02):
them as an employee. Don't just see them as somebody
that that's a workhorse in your organization, but you know,
build into that place where your family and really learn
to value that employees are you know that that person's
that teammate's opinion because they bring value to to the
to the table.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Now, obviously, your your podcast is about marriage, building legacy family.
You have three amazing sons.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
I do and three amazing daughter in laws.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
And three amazing daughter in laws and six amazing grandchildren.
What pressure would you say you've been on, if any,
to leave a legacy worth living?
Speaker 1 (17:58):
You know, I think every pastor, and I don't know
if this translates over to the business world or not.
I think that if I had a business, I would
want my sons to take over the business and help
it thrive and go to another level. I can't really
think of another pastor that does not. You know, maybe
think along that same vein that I'd like to lead
(18:20):
this church. I'd love to see my sons step into
the place where they're leading and pastoring, and eventually they
become the next generation takes it in my son's role
with it. I came to grips with this many years ago.
My sons may not be called a ministry, and I
remember seeing the statistic that eighty percent of men hate
their jobs. And I love what I do. There are
(18:44):
hard days, there are days that are stressful, but by
and large, I love what I do. I love interacting
with our church congregation. I love interacting with the community.
I love being able to speak the vision and direction
that the Lord has for our church and for their lives.
On Sunday mornings, as I preach and teach, but I
didn't want my sons doing something just because Dad wanted
(19:06):
them to. I wanted them to be the best welder, teacher,
garbage man that God has called them to be if
they really feel that that is what He has called
them to do. I wanted them to love what they do.
So you know, Consequently, I wound up with one son
who is in ministry. He's our worship pastor, but he
has a business on the side. I have another son
(19:26):
who works in a plant. I have another son who
has his own business. And the legacy that I wanted
to really impress in them is I had a lot
of opportunities and a lot of options in front of me.
Whenever I stepped into marrying my wife and what am
I gonna do with my life? There were a lot
of opportunities there. God blessed me with a lot of
tremendous opportunities. But every one of those that I stepped into,
(19:49):
I really wasn't happy. I wanted to be, and I
was not happy until I was able to step into
the calling that God had for my life. So the
legacy that I wanted to leave behind for my sons
was God has a calling for you, no matter what
it is, whether it's ministry or whether it's running a business,
Step into that calling and be a man of God
that He uses in that calling to make a difference
(20:11):
in this world around you.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
And it's not just them.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I'd like to see that one of these days from
my grandkids as well.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Do you have any regrets?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
The only regret that I have is I had a
momentary thought years ago, whenever bitcoin was first popping on
the scene. I would just make these little random investments,
you know, like one hundred bucks here there or whatever.
And it was probably I don't know, twenty twelve, twenty thirteen,
I had a thought like I'd drop one hundred bucks
(20:40):
on that bitcoin thing, and I don't.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Know it was.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
I don't remember what it was, maybe eight cents, ten
cents a coin at that point. That's a regret because
everybody sees where it is now. But that's a silly regret.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
But go.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I often think back to that, like, man, that would
have been awesome them. But there are some things with
the boys that I wish I had done differently. I
did a really good job of teaching my boys to pray,
you know, the prayer is crucial and pivotal in your
walk with the Lord. So I felt like I did
a good job of teaching them to pray. I feel
(21:19):
like I did a good job of teaching them the
importance of being involved, invested, and committed within the local church.
If I could go back and do things a little
bit different with my boys, I probably would have done
a better job of really discipling them in the direction of,
you know, spending time in them and sitting them down
and teaching them the importance of daily devotion. I did
(21:41):
those things myself, but I didn't necessarily sit them down
and walk. We would have family time where we would
do you know, praise and worship or we'd devotion. We
did I had a lot of time as a family
we prayed together. But that's kind of one thing. If
I could go back, I probably would have been more
intentional on walking them through through the.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Process of discipleship a little bit better.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Last question, Kap.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
As your producer, I know one of your biggest audiences
is your church body. If you could tell them something
in a few sentences, what would you tell them, which
I'm sure they'll listen.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, there's a lot that I would tell them. First
of all, Yeah, I know it's a lot to go
to a church and to invest your life into that
community of believers. That's a big step, that's a big commitment.
And man, we've been blessed. We launched the church and
Community two thousand and eight and it's just been a
(22:45):
it's been a rocket ride ever since. I mean, the
Lord has done some really amazing things. And I would
first of all just tell our church and me, thank
you so much for trusting in Stacy.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
And I as your pastors.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Thank you for the way that I know everybody always
looks at you know, they hear me speak on Sundays,
they hear Stacy speak on Sundays. But our church is
just done a really good job of serving not just us,
but one another, serving the community, and we've just really
been blessed to be a part of that. To step back,
(23:16):
it's been a tremendous blessing of watching different church family
step into the giftings. They see those giftings that God
has for them, and then they step out and begin
to use those giftings. And it's just been really a
cool thing to see that, to see them embrace purpose.
I know that that's a catchword these days. You know
Rick Warren, you know, probably launched that years ago, the
(23:40):
purpose driven life, and ever since then. Purpose God is
a purpose God as a plan. But it's a real
big catch thing that people run with. But I really
mean that whenever I see people in our church, it's
like their eyes they get born again and then boom,
they realize God has a purpose for me and these
giftings He's placed in my life, and they get really
excited about serve being are sharing the gospel, or they
(24:03):
get fired up about you know, engaging with the Lord
in prayer. And it's just been really a neat thing
to be a part of that process, to see God
use our church family in that way. So I would
just say thank you for having an open heart to
the Lord and being able to be led by the Lord.
That's just a blessing to me, is Pastor, Because what's
(24:25):
the point I mean, if you just have church and
have a bunch of people show up and nobody's growing,
and nobody's getting born again, and nobody's serving, and nobody's
you know, loving, what's the point that that's that's not
what God has called us to. But to really see
a church thrive and move in the direction of what
you read about in the.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Book of Acts.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
That that's what blesses me, That's what blesses me and Stacy.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Both, Jay, thank you so much for sitting with us.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I appreciate a few questions and appreciate you for letting
me be honest today and just share my thoughts. Thank
you for listening of this interview. And I hope that
our genuineness has been a blessing to you as we
answer these different questions that Carlos asked as he talked
about family and talked about marriage and talked about ministry.
Because a lot of people are curious, they want to know,
(25:13):
make sure that you like, you subscribe, you share, leave
us a comment, give us a review, and until next time,
I'm Jay and this is Love Life Crazy.
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