August 27, 2025 • 27 mins
In this heartfelt episode of the Love Like Crazy Podcast, we turn the spotlight on co-host Stacey Coleman as she opens up about her journey of faith, family, and growth. From losing her mom at 18, to navigating life with a blended family, to raising three sons who are now strong men with families of their own—Stacy shares powerful lessons on resilience, prayer, and the importance of recognizing and leaving toxic environments.
You’ll hear Stacey’s perspective on:
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Don’t forget to:
Like, subscribe, and leave a comment with future topic suggestions Share this episode with friends or anyone facing a tough season
Join us next time as Jay and Stacey share more insightful and family based content.
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Podcast Produced by Hi Hello Labs Website: hihellolabs.com
You’ll hear Stacey’s perspective on:
- Why perfection isn’t the goal, but growth in Christ is.
- How prayer shaped her marriage and her children’s future.
- Advice for moms raising sons (when to nurture and when to let go).
- Living a healthier lifestyle after personal loss.
- Balancing leadership, marriage, and self-care as a pastor’s wife.
----------------------------------------
Don’t forget to:
Like, subscribe, and leave a comment with future topic suggestions Share this episode with friends or anyone facing a tough season
Join us next time as Jay and Stacey share more insightful and family based content.
------------------------------------
Podcast Produced by Hi Hello Labs Website: hihellolabs.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Stacy, thank you so much for sitting down with us
and just you know, putting the questions on you.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I know you do a lot of people, and you
know do a lot of your church family. But now
it's it's our turn to get to know you. Okay, quickly,
what is your favorite meal?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
My favorite meal that we don't really cook at home,
but yet I love to order at a restaurant is salmon.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Why salmon?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I don't know. I guess because it's healthier for you
and I get some vegetables and yeah, salmon.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
As i've seen you through the year, in through every
season of the pod, I've seen growth and I've seen
a development. And who you even are as a person?
Do you think as people, as human beings, are we
ever perfect?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
No, We're always striving to become a better person. I
don't think that that perfection needs to be the goal,
because we're all human and you know, we all face
different hardships and challenges in life, and during those challenges,
we need to make an effort and choose to grow
(01:43):
through those things. And it's not to gain perfection, but
to to just grow immature as a human and also
allow it to pull us.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Closer to the Lord you've shared many times. You know,
you grow you You lost.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Mom when I was eighteen, You.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Grew up with dad and your sister. Growing up with
a single parent, was there any competition that you dealt
with as you know, maturing as an adult in phases
where it's like you didn't feel enough.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, he wasn't a single dad for very long, so
he remarried quickly. And it was at a time when
I had just started college when my mom passed away,
and so I did try to go back and live
there with my dad my sister, and then you know,
(02:52):
he had remarried and she had a daughter as well,
and it lasted for a season, and then I moved
into when I was not in school, I moved to
live with my granny, which was down the road.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And so was there a reason you moved up?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
It just wasn't the best setting, and probably by today's standards,
it would have been considered toxic, you know. And I
actually would have loved to have even brought my sister
with me, she's five years younger than me, out of
that situation as well, But that just wasn't wasn't how
(03:39):
it worked out.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
That takes a lot of guts to move to separate
yourself and also to understand when you're in a toxic environment.
What advice would you give to anybody out there that
might not see that they're in some sort of a
toxic environment or some sort of toxic situation and they
don't see the red flags, Like, what would you tell them, like,
(04:04):
be careful with this or be careful with that.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah. I think a lot of times, because of you know,
maybe some pain that we may have or some different
events that we may have encountered have encountered over you know,
in our in our past, that we may be you know,
(04:29):
drawn to maybe the situation with verbal abuse or even
physical abuse or whatever. And I do, I do think
that we can be drawn to what is the most
familiar to us and what's comfortable. But if in any
(04:50):
way that you do begin to realize that this is
not the best situation, to seek help immediately to remove
yourself from that. I was, you know, in college and
very independent minded at the time, and so it only
made sense for me to say, I'm I'm leaving home
(05:12):
at this at this point, you know, in the situation
that I was in. But I know that there were
things that I could have stayed in that situation that
would have been more comfortable, because leaving home meant leaving
that my dad was no longer going to maybe help
me financially, and so it was.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It was.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It was a big choice, but just to step away
from it. Overall, even though it was a difficult decision,
it was the best decision for me at that time.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I see you, and I see this amazing woman who's
married to amazing, amazing man. You have three beautiful daughter
in laws, obviously my girls, because you have three amazing
young men. Was it ever a concern that your boys
(06:10):
would find a compatible partner.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
No, I don't think it was ever a concern because
and I even told them this when they were younger,
that I had been praying even since they were little,
for who they would marry. And I think that my mom,
my mom would come into my bedroom and sit on
(06:39):
the side of my bed and pray with me at nighttime.
This was before she became really ill, and it was
just one of those things that she would pray for
my husband and who I was going to marry, that
it would be who God had for me. And so
even though Jay never met my mom, I've told him
(07:02):
often that he's he's been fully prayed for. And so
so when I met him and I you know, had
to make the decision like okay, like we're getting really
serious or we you know, is is he the right one?
I prayed about that and and my prayer was, Lord,
(07:24):
I want to know that I know that I know,
And because my mom used to say that we need
to pray that we know that we know that we know,
and and I prayed that Lord, if he's not the
one for me, that you would show me that and
and that this situation would change. But truly it was.
(07:45):
It was confirmed many times over that he was the
one for me. And that didn't mean that, you know,
our life stepping into marriage or you know, moving forward
was going to be you know, without its challenges, because
every married couple has challenges. But I knew that the
Lord had put us together. And so when my boys
(08:07):
were younger, I just automatically began to pray for who
their future spouse would be. And I tell the girls
that that I prayed for you. And there were some
girls that maybe they dated or hung out with, that
I knew right away that was not their future spouse
but in those situations would just have to play out
(08:30):
on their own. But I felt assured and it was
very much confirmed, you know, with all of us that
we were welcoming in the ones that God had for them.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You're obviously a big mama bear.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I am a mama bear.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
And you've definitely brought up strong men, men that are decisive.
Some are entrepreneurs already and have you know, created their
own paths. What would you tell moms out there that
sometimes you know, we shouldn't be the nagging mom. What
(09:08):
really works? Is it nag or is it not to nag?
That's the question.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
So you're talking about once they become adult, man, married,
as they're growing.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
As they're growing, you know, because adults don't become adults
just because you know, and children are taught how to
be and what to say and who and you know
how to create their their future. What I'm asking you
is as moms, sometimes you can become a little too
(09:41):
overbearing and push your children away.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
What would you tell those moms on you know that
are building up their kidds right now and be like, Okay,
should I nag on them? Or should I not? When
is it too much and when is it too.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I look back on, you know, the years that my
boys were at home, and you know, yes, there are
things that you can be over protective about. Some things
I think that you can mention to them or confront them.
(10:22):
One of the things that helped me because I was
raising boys, I read a book by James Dobson, Bringing
Up Boys. I had a lot of statistics in it,
and it was a little bit more on the scientific
side of things. But one of the things that I
(10:42):
gained from that book was that by the age of
I believe twelve, when your boys are twelve, that they
really you need to really let them go in a
sense or start releasing them to where more of the
discipline and more of the training comes from their father.
And so I kept that in mind that I were
(11:04):
I was to nurture them and care for them, you know,
as they were babies and growing up and all of that,
and then but as they got to be a little
bit older that you know, it was it was my
place to release them more, to allow their dad to
(11:25):
speak more into their lives, to help them to develop
to become a man. And so I'm not going to
say that I didn't buddy in you know, in different situations,
I did, and uh sometimes I would even have to,
you know, repent to my husband and say, I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have added my two cents in when when
(11:46):
you're you're doing your job, you're training them and trying
to teach them, you know, say in the middle of
a teachable moment of something. So I do I do
think that I probably maybe to them, you know, to
a certain I think all moms do that. But at
the same time realizing, you know, okay, they're older now,
(12:11):
you don't call them by their cute little nicknames anymore.
You don't, you know, necessarily confront them on certain things
that should be dealt with, maybe talk to you with
their dad. And I didn't grow up with brothers, so
being a boy mom was really there was a learning
(12:33):
curve and I did depend on my husband to help
me with that.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
So you're saying you shouldn't you shouldn't do it alone.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
No, I would think it. I mean, I know that
there are a lot of single moms out there and
they don't have the help probably that they need. But
if you're married and you have your husband to be
on the same page, you know, get on the same
page as as far as disciplining your children and and
(13:04):
what values are you wanting to instill in them, you know,
and and confront you know them at the at the
right times. But as far as like you know them
knowing that I was, I was there for them and
different different things would happen and they would come and
(13:25):
talk to me. You know. The other part of that
is being there to allow them to confide in you
and taking that seriously. And my answer to them was
always have you prayed about it? You want me to
pray with you, you know, and what is the Lord
showing you? So that was kind of my role and
(13:47):
that in trying my hardest. Now I am I am
protective more like Mama Bear. And I mean there are
certain situations that maybe you get a little bit more
protective the come out. But for the most part, I
think if you're mindful to stay unified with your husband
(14:10):
and that it works out best.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
So earlier you were talking about or I asked you
what your favorite food was and you said salmon, And
you said, because it's very healthy, and I know you
live a very healthy lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I try.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
A for a mom, a woman, a spouse, they're on
the go there, picking up kids, cooking dinner and doing laundry,
going to work, doing homework for projects. How do how
would you say, is a good tip for these moms,
these wives out there to be able to live a balanced,
healthy lifestyle. Is that even possible?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I would say when when my boys were younger, I
don't know that really staying healthy was in the forefront
of my mind the time. I think I did stay
so busy that you know that it wasn't really as
(15:15):
as important as.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Just because of the stage you were in, because of the.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Stage I was in, you know, very very busy. And
then as I got older and realized, you know, I
need to be in better health or I need to
be more mindful of taking care of myself. I'll tell
you what really caused me to move towards being more
I don't know health minded. Was after my dad passed away.
(15:44):
He lived twenty years longer than my mom. He was
only sixty one when he died. My mom was forty
one now. She passed away because she had Type one diabetes.
So those health problems were something of its own. Okay,
back in the eighties, when there was not as much
(16:06):
known about that my dad though he just intentionally did
not take care of himself. He smoked, drank, he ate
so poorly. He was a workaholic, and even after the
doctors told him that he needed to do better, he
chose not to and so he had more cardiovascular diseases
(16:31):
and that effectively, you know, took his life. And so
after my dad passed away, that's when I thought, you know,
I can be intentional to take better care of myself.
And because I want to live long enough to see
(16:51):
my grandchildren grow up and you know, be there for
my family. And I don't always eat the best and
I don't always extrac all the time, but I am
very mindful and intentional on you know, getting the rest
that I need, are getting outside, taking a walk, getting
(17:15):
some sunshine, relaxing to read a book, or just veg
out watching a movie. Something that is to where I'm
not go, go, go all the time. And I think
that's what happens with young moms and others that either
they lean towards workaholic are they're so on the go
(17:38):
that they forget to take care of themselves. And so
I would I would say I've become as I've gotten older,
more mindful of taking care of myself.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
It's it's strange you mentioned your mom died at forty one.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
That's awfully young.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
You're so young, and you can say like you don't
know when your times, but there are things that you
can do to prevent. And I think a lot of
people think, well, I have forever.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Right, especially when you're young, there is just all the
time in the world.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
But I think there's things that you can do as
a younger version of yourself that creates discipline to be
able to exercise, a healthier lifestyle and technically, you know,
live on and keep going. You had on this show
Isabella Payne where she talked about the loss of her mom,
(18:38):
loss of her sister, but even her mom just out
of nowhere suddenly sadly. So, what would you tell again
if you could take care of X y Z, because
what would those elements be said? Health is a mental?
(19:00):
Is it spiritual?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I think first of all, it's having a relationship with Jesus.
I mean, I think that it's knowing that you have
eternal life. Where are you going to spend eternity?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Is that.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
You know with Jesus and choosing to while you're here
on earth to grow your relationship with the Lord. That
is of utmost importance. If there's anything that I knew
about Isabella's mom, Stephanie, she was a very close friend
of mine, was that she loved the Lord, and so
(19:39):
there was no doubt in my mind that when she
passed away that she was in the presence of the Lord.
The same with my mom. My mom loved the Lord.
And I think having that security of what is you know,
the future, meaning you're when you step into eternity, we
(20:00):
don't we don't know, you know, we don't know what
may be coming down the road. And if when it's
our time, you know, it's our time. The Bible says
it's a point unto each man, a time to die.
And the most important thing would be to be secure
(20:22):
in your salvation and know that where you're going to
spend eternity. Now while we're here on earth, I think
it is important to you know, take care of our bodies.
You know, there are there are different UH diseases and
(20:42):
and things that may be handed down in our families,
and and if we know about those, you know, then
you know, go to the doctor, get you know, get
a check up, make sure that that you're not leaning
into whatever you know disease was has been in your family.
(21:03):
And so because my dad died of cardiovascular disease, I
of course have made that a priority to make sure
that I'm okay in that aspect. And type one diabetes
is is not is not has not been handed down
in in my family. That's not been an issue for me.
(21:25):
But I do think that it's it's mindful to take
care of you the best way that you can, you know,
and take the advice of the doctors when they tell
you what's needed, you know, and eating healthy is that's
a decision that all of us have to make, and
(21:46):
we all, you know, fall off the wagon where that's concerned,
especially during the holidays. But but you know that, And
just I think rest has been the biggest thing for
me because my dad was a workaholic and I just
saw him go, go, go and never slow down. I
(22:08):
am mindful that even though we do work hard, that
we can also play hard and we can also take
time to rest. And that's important.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I love that model work hard, play hard. Stacy. Last question, Okay,
as a pastor, you have quite a big group of
women around you, a lot of these women look up
to you for guidance, for leadership, for advice. But then
(22:41):
who takes care of you? What would you say, that's
a good question. You do to protect and care for you?
Speaker 2 (22:52):
To protect and care from me? Well, I think, first
of all, that would be be my husband. We're very close.
We spend a lot of time together, and I think
that in itself, just spending quality time together is replenishing,
uh to me. One of the things that he and
(23:14):
I like to do is go to our camp and
it's really the respite that I didn't even know that
I needed until until we had that opportunity. And so
whenever there's a lot of stress that I'm facing our
things that are going on with the church, we might
have a week where we have numerous funerals, our other
(23:39):
you know, situations that were engagements that that we have
to be at in that that you know, take a
lot of energy. We we do try to get away
to our camp to to rest and just kind of recharge.
But you know, my husband, he can't. Obviously, the Lord
(24:00):
is the one who can meet all of our needs.
So I do I do understand that not everything, you know,
should fall on him on his shoulders. So you know,
if there are other like deep seated UH needs or
things within me that is is unresolved, are that I
(24:24):
need to talk to someone about. I am a huge
proponent for finding a good counselor or maybe you have
a good friend that you know you're able to to
talk with. I have a few good girlfriends that you know,
a couple of them is like to go shopping with
them recharges me. We go to the movies and see
(24:49):
certain chick flicks or things that my husband may not
want to see. That's that's one thing that that helps me,
you know. And then of course just trying to take
care of myself in the sense of, you know, if
I were to exercise or like like I said, to
(25:09):
have time to get alone and to read and I'm
learning how to read for enjoyment and not just because
I need to learn something is to help those in
the church. Are are you know myself just to read?
Just to read, and that's something that's relaxing. I also
love to go to the spa, so the when when
(25:33):
the money allows, I definitely that's one way that helps
me to to kind of just like relax and recharge.
But yeah, my husband and the Lord, and then if
I if I need extra help, then that would be.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
A counselor any regrets, any of.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Your regrets about in life. In life, oh gosh, I
think every parent once their kids get older, you you
regret not doing certain things with your kids that you know,
to just have more time, you know, more time with
(26:16):
my boys when when they were little, because time goes
by so fast. Any specific regrets. I mean, I just
think if if I could go back in time, it
would be, you know, to spend more time with my
mom or something to that effect.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
But yeah, well, thank you so much for sharing a
little bit about about me.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So well, thank you, thank you for having me
Stacy, thank you so much for sitting down with us
and just you know, putting the questions on you.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I know you do a lot of people, and you
know do a lot of your church family. But now
it's it's our turn to get to know you. Okay, quickly,
what is your favorite meal?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
My favorite meal that we don't really cook at home,
but yet I love to order at a restaurant is salmon.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Why salmon?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I don't know. I guess because it's healthier for you
and I get some vegetables and yeah, salmon.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
As i've seen you through the year, in through every
season of the pod, I've seen growth and I've seen
a development. And who you even are as a person?
Do you think as people, as human beings, are we
ever perfect?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
No, We're always striving to become a better person. I
don't think that that perfection needs to be the goal,
because we're all human and you know, we all face
different hardships and challenges in life, and during those challenges,
we need to make an effort and choose to grow
(01:43):
through those things. And it's not to gain perfection, but
to to just grow immature as a human and also
allow it to pull us.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Closer to the Lord you've shared many times. You know,
you grow you You lost.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Mom when I was eighteen, You.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Grew up with dad and your sister. Growing up with
a single parent, was there any competition that you dealt
with as you know, maturing as an adult in phases
where it's like you didn't feel enough.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, he wasn't a single dad for very long, so
he remarried quickly. And it was at a time when
I had just started college when my mom passed away,
and so I did try to go back and live
there with my dad my sister, and then you know,
(02:52):
he had remarried and she had a daughter as well,
and it lasted for a season, and then I moved
into when I was not in school, I moved to
live with my granny, which was down the road.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And so was there a reason you moved up?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
It just wasn't the best setting, and probably by today's standards,
it would have been considered toxic, you know. And I
actually would have loved to have even brought my sister
with me, she's five years younger than me, out of
that situation as well, But that just wasn't wasn't how
(03:39):
it worked out.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
That takes a lot of guts to move to separate
yourself and also to understand when you're in a toxic environment.
What advice would you give to anybody out there that
might not see that they're in some sort of a
toxic environment or some sort of toxic situation and they
don't see the red flags, Like, what would you tell them, like,
(04:04):
be careful with this or be careful with that.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah. I think a lot of times, because of you know,
maybe some pain that we may have or some different
events that we may have encountered have encountered over you know,
in our in our past, that we may be you know,
(04:29):
drawn to maybe the situation with verbal abuse or even
physical abuse or whatever. And I do, I do think
that we can be drawn to what is the most
familiar to us and what's comfortable. But if in any
(04:50):
way that you do begin to realize that this is
not the best situation, to seek help immediately to remove
yourself from that. I was, you know, in college and
very independent minded at the time, and so it only
made sense for me to say, I'm I'm leaving home
(05:12):
at this at this point, you know, in the situation
that I was in. But I know that there were
things that I could have stayed in that situation that
would have been more comfortable, because leaving home meant leaving
that my dad was no longer going to maybe help
me financially, and so it was.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It was.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It was a big choice, but just to step away
from it. Overall, even though it was a difficult decision,
it was the best decision for me at that time.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I see you, and I see this amazing woman who's
married to amazing, amazing man. You have three beautiful daughter
in laws, obviously my girls, because you have three amazing
young men. Was it ever a concern that your boys
(06:10):
would find a compatible partner.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
No, I don't think it was ever a concern because
and I even told them this when they were younger,
that I had been praying even since they were little,
for who they would marry. And I think that my mom,
my mom would come into my bedroom and sit on
(06:39):
the side of my bed and pray with me at nighttime.
This was before she became really ill, and it was
just one of those things that she would pray for
my husband and who I was going to marry, that
it would be who God had for me. And so
even though Jay never met my mom, I've told him
(07:02):
often that he's he's been fully prayed for. And so
so when I met him and I you know, had
to make the decision like okay, like we're getting really
serious or we you know, is is he the right one?
I prayed about that and and my prayer was, Lord,
(07:24):
I want to know that I know that I know,
And because my mom used to say that we need
to pray that we know that we know that we know,
and and I prayed that Lord, if he's not the
one for me, that you would show me that and
and that this situation would change. But truly it was.
(07:45):
It was confirmed many times over that he was the
one for me. And that didn't mean that, you know,
our life stepping into marriage or you know, moving forward
was going to be you know, without its challenges, because
every married couple has challenges. But I knew that the
Lord had put us together. And so when my boys
(08:07):
were younger, I just automatically began to pray for who
their future spouse would be. And I tell the girls
that that I prayed for you. And there were some
girls that maybe they dated or hung out with, that
I knew right away that was not their future spouse
but in those situations would just have to play out
(08:30):
on their own. But I felt assured and it was
very much confirmed, you know, with all of us that
we were welcoming in the ones that God had for them.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You're obviously a big mama bear.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I am a mama bear.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
And you've definitely brought up strong men, men that are decisive.
Some are entrepreneurs already and have you know, created their
own paths. What would you tell moms out there that
sometimes you know, we shouldn't be the nagging mom. What
(09:08):
really works? Is it nag or is it not to nag?
That's the question.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
So you're talking about once they become adult, man, married,
as they're growing.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
As they're growing, you know, because adults don't become adults
just because you know, and children are taught how to
be and what to say and who and you know
how to create their their future. What I'm asking you
is as moms, sometimes you can become a little too
(09:41):
overbearing and push your children away.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
What would you tell those moms on you know that
are building up their kidds right now and be like, Okay,
should I nag on them? Or should I not? When
is it too much and when is it too.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I look back on, you know, the years that my
boys were at home, and you know, yes, there are
things that you can be over protective about. Some things
I think that you can mention to them or confront them.
(10:22):
One of the things that helped me because I was
raising boys, I read a book by James Dobson, Bringing
Up Boys. I had a lot of statistics in it,
and it was a little bit more on the scientific
side of things. But one of the things that I
(10:42):
gained from that book was that by the age of
I believe twelve, when your boys are twelve, that they
really you need to really let them go in a
sense or start releasing them to where more of the
discipline and more of the training comes from their father.
And so I kept that in mind that I were
(11:04):
I was to nurture them and care for them, you know,
as they were babies and growing up and all of that,
and then but as they got to be a little
bit older that you know, it was it was my
place to release them more, to allow their dad to
(11:25):
speak more into their lives, to help them to develop
to become a man. And so I'm not going to
say that I didn't buddy in you know, in different situations,
I did, and uh sometimes I would even have to,
you know, repent to my husband and say, I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have added my two cents in when when
(11:46):
you're you're doing your job, you're training them and trying
to teach them, you know, say in the middle of
a teachable moment of something. So I do I do
think that I probably maybe to them, you know, to
a certain I think all moms do that. But at
the same time realizing, you know, okay, they're older now,
(12:11):
you don't call them by their cute little nicknames anymore.
You don't, you know, necessarily confront them on certain things
that should be dealt with, maybe talk to you with
their dad. And I didn't grow up with brothers, so
being a boy mom was really there was a learning
(12:33):
curve and I did depend on my husband to help
me with that.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
So you're saying you shouldn't you shouldn't do it alone.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
No, I would think it. I mean, I know that
there are a lot of single moms out there and
they don't have the help probably that they need. But
if you're married and you have your husband to be
on the same page, you know, get on the same
page as as far as disciplining your children and and
(13:04):
what values are you wanting to instill in them, you know,
and and confront you know them at the at the
right times. But as far as like you know them
knowing that I was, I was there for them and
different different things would happen and they would come and
(13:25):
talk to me. You know. The other part of that
is being there to allow them to confide in you
and taking that seriously. And my answer to them was
always have you prayed about it? You want me to
pray with you, you know, and what is the Lord
showing you? So that was kind of my role and
(13:47):
that in trying my hardest. Now I am I am
protective more like Mama Bear. And I mean there are
certain situations that maybe you get a little bit more
protective the come out. But for the most part, I
think if you're mindful to stay unified with your husband
(14:10):
and that it works out best.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
So earlier you were talking about or I asked you
what your favorite food was and you said salmon, And
you said, because it's very healthy, and I know you
live a very healthy lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I try.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
A for a mom, a woman, a spouse, they're on
the go there, picking up kids, cooking dinner and doing laundry,
going to work, doing homework for projects. How do how
would you say, is a good tip for these moms,
these wives out there to be able to live a balanced,
healthy lifestyle. Is that even possible?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I would say when when my boys were younger, I
don't know that really staying healthy was in the forefront
of my mind the time. I think I did stay
so busy that you know that it wasn't really as
(15:15):
as important as.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Just because of the stage you were in, because of the.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Stage I was in, you know, very very busy. And
then as I got older and realized, you know, I
need to be in better health or I need to
be more mindful of taking care of myself. I'll tell
you what really caused me to move towards being more
I don't know health minded. Was after my dad passed away.
(15:44):
He lived twenty years longer than my mom. He was
only sixty one when he died. My mom was forty
one now. She passed away because she had Type one diabetes.
So those health problems were something of its own. Okay,
back in the eighties, when there was not as much
(16:06):
known about that my dad though he just intentionally did
not take care of himself. He smoked, drank, he ate
so poorly. He was a workaholic, and even after the
doctors told him that he needed to do better, he
chose not to and so he had more cardiovascular diseases
(16:31):
and that effectively, you know, took his life. And so
after my dad passed away, that's when I thought, you know,
I can be intentional to take better care of myself.
And because I want to live long enough to see
(16:51):
my grandchildren grow up and you know, be there for
my family. And I don't always eat the best and
I don't always extrac all the time, but I am
very mindful and intentional on you know, getting the rest
that I need, are getting outside, taking a walk, getting
(17:15):
some sunshine, relaxing to read a book, or just veg
out watching a movie. Something that is to where I'm
not go, go, go all the time. And I think
that's what happens with young moms and others that either
they lean towards workaholic are they're so on the go
(17:38):
that they forget to take care of themselves. And so
I would I would say I've become as I've gotten older,
more mindful of taking care of myself.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
It's it's strange you mentioned your mom died at forty one.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
That's awfully young.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
You're so young, and you can say like you don't
know when your times, but there are things that you
can do to prevent. And I think a lot of
people think, well, I have forever.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Right, especially when you're young, there is just all the
time in the world.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
But I think there's things that you can do as
a younger version of yourself that creates discipline to be
able to exercise, a healthier lifestyle and technically, you know,
live on and keep going. You had on this show
Isabella Payne where she talked about the loss of her mom,
(18:38):
loss of her sister, but even her mom just out
of nowhere suddenly sadly. So, what would you tell again
if you could take care of X y Z, because
what would those elements be said? Health is a mental?
(19:00):
Is it spiritual?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I think first of all, it's having a relationship with Jesus.
I mean, I think that it's knowing that you have
eternal life. Where are you going to spend eternity?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Is that.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
You know with Jesus and choosing to while you're here
on earth to grow your relationship with the Lord. That
is of utmost importance. If there's anything that I knew
about Isabella's mom, Stephanie, she was a very close friend
of mine, was that she loved the Lord, and so
(19:39):
there was no doubt in my mind that when she
passed away that she was in the presence of the Lord.
The same with my mom. My mom loved the Lord.
And I think having that security of what is you know,
the future, meaning you're when you step into eternity, we
(20:00):
don't we don't know, you know, we don't know what
may be coming down the road. And if when it's
our time, you know, it's our time. The Bible says
it's a point unto each man, a time to die.
And the most important thing would be to be secure
(20:22):
in your salvation and know that where you're going to
spend eternity. Now while we're here on earth, I think
it is important to you know, take care of our bodies.
You know, there are there are different UH diseases and
(20:42):
and things that may be handed down in our families,
and and if we know about those, you know, then
you know, go to the doctor, get you know, get
a check up, make sure that that you're not leaning
into whatever you know disease was has been in your family.
(21:03):
And so because my dad died of cardiovascular disease, I
of course have made that a priority to make sure
that I'm okay in that aspect. And type one diabetes
is is not is not has not been handed down
in in my family. That's not been an issue for me.
(21:25):
But I do think that it's it's mindful to take
care of you the best way that you can, you know,
and take the advice of the doctors when they tell
you what's needed, you know, and eating healthy is that's
a decision that all of us have to make, and
(21:46):
we all, you know, fall off the wagon where that's concerned,
especially during the holidays. But but you know that, And
just I think rest has been the biggest thing for
me because my dad was a workaholic and I just
saw him go, go, go and never slow down. I
(22:08):
am mindful that even though we do work hard, that
we can also play hard and we can also take
time to rest. And that's important.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I love that model work hard, play hard. Stacy. Last question, Okay,
as a pastor, you have quite a big group of
women around you, a lot of these women look up
to you for guidance, for leadership, for advice. But then
(22:41):
who takes care of you? What would you say, that's
a good question. You do to protect and care for you?
Speaker 2 (22:52):
To protect and care from me? Well, I think, first
of all, that would be be my husband. We're very close.
We spend a lot of time together, and I think
that in itself, just spending quality time together is replenishing,
uh to me. One of the things that he and
(23:14):
I like to do is go to our camp and
it's really the respite that I didn't even know that
I needed until until we had that opportunity. And so
whenever there's a lot of stress that I'm facing our
things that are going on with the church, we might
have a week where we have numerous funerals, our other
(23:39):
you know, situations that were engagements that that we have
to be at in that that you know, take a
lot of energy. We we do try to get away
to our camp to to rest and just kind of recharge.
But you know, my husband, he can't. Obviously, the Lord
(24:00):
is the one who can meet all of our needs.
So I do I do understand that not everything, you know,
should fall on him on his shoulders. So you know,
if there are other like deep seated UH needs or
things within me that is is unresolved, are that I
(24:24):
need to talk to someone about. I am a huge
proponent for finding a good counselor or maybe you have
a good friend that you know you're able to to
talk with. I have a few good girlfriends that you know,
a couple of them is like to go shopping with
them recharges me. We go to the movies and see
(24:49):
certain chick flicks or things that my husband may not
want to see. That's that's one thing that that helps me,
you know. And then of course just trying to take
care of myself in the sense of, you know, if
I were to exercise or like like I said, to
(25:09):
have time to get alone and to read and I'm
learning how to read for enjoyment and not just because
I need to learn something is to help those in
the church. Are are you know myself just to read?
Just to read, and that's something that's relaxing. I also
love to go to the spa, so the when when
(25:33):
the money allows, I definitely that's one way that helps
me to to kind of just like relax and recharge.
But yeah, my husband and the Lord, and then if
I if I need extra help, then that would be.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
A counselor any regrets, any of.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Your regrets about in life. In life, oh gosh, I
think every parent once their kids get older, you you
regret not doing certain things with your kids that you know,
to just have more time, you know, more time with
(26:16):
my boys when when they were little, because time goes
by so fast. Any specific regrets. I mean, I just
think if if I could go back in time, it
would be, you know, to spend more time with my
mom or something to that effect.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
But yeah, well, thank you so much for sharing a
little bit about about me.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So well, thank you, thank you for having me
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