29: Nicole The Love Ft. Nicole The Pole

Late night vibes, deep talks, and a whole lotta Love. On this entry of Love Like This, we dive into the roots of love, childhood lessons, and breaking generational cycles with the one and only Nicole The Soul. From pole to soul, she's transforming lives in every way. Tap in for a convo filled with wisdom, laughs, and a little late-night magic. 

Social:@Milah_Mapp @Wh_orlandoroye @Hoochiemomanddad @Nicolethepole

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Like this. What's good, y'all? Welcome, I need to stop
playing with this goddamn like right like the quiet storm. Hey, y'all,
welcome back to another beautiful, luscious, sexy mmmm entry of
love like this tonight. We are don't look outside us tonight.

(00:27):
Tonight we are joined by the one, the only, the beautiful, Nicole,
the Pole, a k a. Nicole the Soul.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, everybody. It's so good
to be here.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
I'm gonna let you know right now, I'm terrible of intros.
This is the first great intro that I've done so far,
but I had to come correct for you, so I
appreciate that. I am ecstatic to have you here. You
are always a ray of sunshine in our lives. Thank you, Yeah, yeah,
you are the best. Welcome to love like this. I'm

(01:06):
excited to be here the Love Cast, where we speak
on the before, during, and after of falling in love.
I'm happy to have you here because I have been
doing this one on one men series where I've been
asking men about the origin of their love. I didn't
realize how fulfilling it is to find out like where

(01:26):
people's love started and how it shows up and the
only genius idea I could have when it came to
talking to these men about love was I need to
talk to the women also, I have both.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Sides of the coin starts with the woman.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Yeah, maybe I should go to non binary next. All
they love is coming So I know you. While I
was introduced to as Nicole, Nicole the Pole and the theatrics,

(02:04):
the fun side, but recently we have been You've been
coming over and we've been talking just genuine, genuine, genuine
friendship conversation and coming to learn that you have taken
on the the mantle of Nicole the Soul. Yes, What's
What's I I'm I know it. I want the people

(02:28):
to know it too, because I truly believe that this
is a beautiful like place that you're in with this.
So can you let me and everybody else know one
more time? What is this Nicole the Soul that you're
taking Nicole.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Nicole the Soul is like the rebranding of who I am,
and it's like where I'm moving into next as far
as career in life. So I've been known as Nicole
the Pole for the last eighteen years. It's professional poll dancer,
own multiple post studios. I've traveled the world, I've toured,
I've done all the amazing things. I was on The
Kardashians last week.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
You know what I.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Meant to YEA need to go oh Hulu and watch
that episode.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Nicole the pole Dashian.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Now, I've toured with Snoop Dogg over the last few years.
I choreographed for Beyonce Renaissance Tour last year. Like just
a lot of amazing things. And this is how pole
Dance has taken me like around the world and helped
me touch literally hundreds and.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Thousands of lives.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
But then there's also Nicole the Soul, you know, like
that's who I really am at the core of everything.
When I was a little kid, like I wanted to
be a psychologist, wow, and I wanted to help parents
be better parents to their kids. That's why I love
what that we're doing, this love conversation. But I feel
like I'm here to help transform people's mindsets, to help
people switch their perspective up, and to help them realize

(03:40):
how powerful that they are, and to help us learn
how that our words are.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Spells, like they manifest everything. Right. So Nicole is Soul
my new Moniker It's all.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
About me helping people tap back into their soul and
be powerful beings, like we got superpowers. We really have
a lot of superpowers. So I do spiritual life coaching,
I do reiki, I do sound bass, I do a
Kashak Records. I'm leading Psilocybin journeys, and so I'm just
looking forward to growing that and affecting more lives, but

(04:12):
in a new way, So affecting the mind and the
heart now versus just the body.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah. Oh see now you're you're yeah, I'm bringing it all.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Together, you know, helping people throw that ass and a
healing circle, like we just thought that ass, but it's
going to be a healing so bringing it all together.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
I'm still gonna do pole dancing.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
I'm still gonna teach people how to work and you know,
have fun and be sexy, but we're gonna also bring
in that soul element too.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
Okay, that's good. I'm so happy that you're really enriching
and fulfilling everybody in all aspects. In all aspects.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
I've always been about mind, body and spirits, so it
is actually cool to see like it all coming together.
M hm.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
See how you manifested that.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
My ex girlfriend actually came up with that.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
We were trying to think of something else, because this
is back in twenty sixteen when I actually got certified
to become a life coach and we were trying to
think something.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
She was just like Nicole the soul. I was like, rhymes,
that's so perfect.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
And my middle name is Nicole too. So if I
would have gone by my first name, which is Darien,
this it yeah dairy, I would have I would have
no cool moniker with Darien. So yeah, the cole it
is Nicole Solva.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
I love it. That is beautiful. You said something very
interesting to me in that that you, when you were
a child, you want to be a psychologist, And I
want to know what child wants to be a psychologist.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
So I grew up.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
With a very uh volatile and bipolar mother, so growing.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Up with her, I grew up with a Jamaican mom.
So it's pretty sonic.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
My mom got jamaicann But my mom was a hot
mess back in the day growing up.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
You know, she was trying to figure it out.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
She had me when she was twenty one, and her
childhood left her being where she was just kind of
like all over the place. And she did not necessarily
handle her emotions and a lot of what she was
going through got taken out on me. So growing up
with that, I remember feeling like, if there's a guy,
why am I being treated like this? Like it was
just it didn't make sense for somebody to be so

(06:10):
angry or mean or like popping off on me, beating
my ass, And I'm like, I didn't do anything right,
so like, there can't be a guy or else I
wouldn't be treated like this. So I remember praying all
the time, like I'm going to be a psychologist and
hep parents be better parents.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
I remember like having those thoughts.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
And then guess what, twenty some thirty so many years later,
I'm helping people be better people.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Wow. You know what I love about doing this like
one on one series and talking to people that I
find tidbits of everybody's childhood that is literally like a
twin version of mine. When I was a kid, I
saw the volatile relationship between my mom and my dad,
and so I said to myself that I'm going to

(06:50):
do the opposite of what my parents do, and then
I'm gonna be an amazing man to women as long
as I just don't do what my parents are doing,
and I will have a healthy relationship. So I even
wanted to take it upon myself to like make sure
that any woman I come across is comfortable and happy
in any type of way.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
That's why I Meanla's happy.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Wow, Yeah, well you're not. Yeah. I went through eighteen
years of like straight of like my mom and like
the kind of like relationship that we had because similar
to you, my mom would go off on me anytime
she had a discrepancy with my dad. So it's like.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
There, it's not fair, but it makes us who we are.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Like I held a lot of hatred towards my mother
growing up, and it wasn't until I started doing my
own self development work, like I did all the work,
like I'm not the person who just like read a
book like I'd done the program's galore working on this stuff.
And then I finally realized, like, Okay, if my shit
was like the way that it was, oh, my mom
shit was actually five ten times worse, right, and.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
So no wonder she's behaving the way that she's behaving.
But because of.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
That treatment, it made me be who I wanted to
be today, And had I not gone through it, I'd
be doing something else, Like I wouldn't be thinking about
necessarily helping people. Had I been raised even better than that,
you know what I mean, Like i'd probably work in
a regular nine to five.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
I wouldn't be an entrepreneur. Both my parents are entrepreneurs.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
So it's like I got a lot of special gifts
out of my mom, and then the way she was,
I was like, I'm gonna be the complete opposite. Also,
yeah yeah, and at a different time too, where I
got access to more things to help me improve myself.
Whereas my mother had all the books, you know what
I mean, But she wasn't necessarily dive deep diving into
the work whereas I can now and then I can

(08:27):
kind of bring it back to her. And I feel
like the more that I heal, my mom actually heals
too and she gets better too.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
So yeah, yeah, I definitely truly believe in that hell
yourself heal the world. Like the more love I have
for everybody, I have enough that I can spill over
it and help everybody else. That's the viole side side,
vol that is the aggressive side of your childhood. But
what is like love and marriage like for you? When
you were growing up.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
So if it wasn't, I had this dichotomy. So I
had the crazy mother's side right growing up. My mom
is a single mom, and then I had my dad
and my step mom, which was like the cosbies. It
really was total opposites. So, like I remember going, I
wish I could stay with my dad because I had

(09:14):
my dad my stepmam.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
My stepmam treated me very well.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
She didn't treat me like I was, you know, some
red headed step child.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
The food was the house was stocked with food, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
My dad had money and I just when I was
over there, I felt rich, and then when I went
back home.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
I felt poor.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Same same with me.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
I didn't understand it too, but it was good to
see both worlds. I feel like also, but that was
where I saw love. I saw that at home. My
dad told me that he loved me. I didn't say
that with my mom, but my dad, that was always
the thing before we got off the phone, before we
went to bed, when we woke up in the morning.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
He'd be like, wake up, sleeping beauties, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Like I got that there, and then him and my
step mom got along, so good. They did not argue.
My dad always made sure he kissed my mo my
step mom before he went off to work, and.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
They were just they're just so even tempered, Like I
was just over there the other day.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
They just in there watching TV, sitting on the recliner,
My step mom's on the recliner and my dad's on
the couch, and they just talking shit like they'd be
cracking jokes and stuff, and she trying to tell him
this is what happened in the movie Pay Attention, I'm
trying to tell you, and they cackle, but it's like
in fun, like we make hello jokes. So I grew
up experiencing like this image of love with my dad
and my stepmom, but I also wasn't raised in it

(10:25):
full time. Like I stayed with my dad in the summers,
and I stayed with him in third and fourth grade,
but other than that, I was with my mom, who
I didn't see a healthy relationship at all.

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Like I didn't see nobody.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
She dated a couple people, but she never was in
any type of long term relationship the whole time that
I was growing up.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
So yeah, I'm.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
Crazy, you know. And it's even interesting because for me
I didn't see it in my immediate family, but outside
of outside of that, I saw other people's relationship aunts, uncles,
friends and stuff like that, and my friends I would see.
I would go by friends' houses and see their parents
like living just regular parent love life, like having kids.

(11:08):
And I'm saying, like, I know it exists, I might
not have it. I know it's out there, so I
don't I'm not tripping. And that's one of the reasons
why it made me want to be better, because I
think that otherwise I would have just been like, well,
this is just the way the world is. But knowing
that there's better made me also want to be better,
which is why we need them good examples.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
You do need a good examples.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
And I think if more people realize if you don't
see a good example, you don't have that as like
a like a track, like it's not a pinpoint that
you can go to. Some people just don't see the
opposite side, Like if I was just raising my mom
and I didn't see my dad's side, I'd be a
completely different person.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
And then even sometimes some of the things that I
can see myself like struggling with is that I I
saw what not to do right, but it still wasn't enough,
ye because because I didn't see what to do, I
didn't necessarily know what road to go down. I just

(12:10):
knew what road to avoid that was a good one.
That's not meant to say that, yeah, if we don't
have the imagery, I don't know how to be except
for what you see on TV.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
And if you don't see it in your families, you're
going off of TV.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
And even that's not real though, Yeah, yeah that's made
up right.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
And my example of love and affection towards woman was
the Fresh Prince of bel Air, Like I love that show,
so to always see him have like this level of
respect or even when he was sucking up, he had
some type of level like accountability. That is kind of
what I was going off of, you know, which is
why I'm probably the smooth player I am right now,
Thank you will Smith. But these things were like really

(12:51):
helpful to like to a child, to know, like, yo,
it's out there, and I think that, yeah, you know,
we don't have to give them the bad examples, but
we also have to go out our way to show
and show and and exemplify the good things that are
out there. In the world and how to do it
and how to do it and how to do it.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
I feel like we're getting better shows doing that now.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
I wish they would stop making all the black shows
with the you know, the the destructive families and stuff.
But we are getting better imagery of that, and I
think that's good because again, if you don't have it
in your household, where.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
Else you looking?

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah, And we're even having better accountability imagery and just
like you know, just hey, things are good, great black family. No,
it's like, hey, things are good. But when these challenges
come up. This is how you communicate mental health, like
things coming up in like black shows and stuff like that.
Love it right, we didn't have that, didn't have it.

(13:48):
There was no mental health years ago.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
Beat your ass that your mental health. Get your act together.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Right, right, right right? So growing up right, you're about
to the prodigy of a child, You're about to be
a child psychologist. Things are kind of tumulto with on
one side, but go to the other side. So then
how does that lead into like first love for you,
my first love?

Speaker 3 (14:13):
I was thinking about this today.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
I was actually kind of like going online trying to
see if I can find this dude.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
He wasn't online though his name was Lorenzo, though Lorenzo
was six for talk about it two fifteen light skin
light Eyes.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
I was nineteen and I met him after a very
tumultual situation, like some crazy shit where it was like, Okay,
I needed to meet this person to let me know,
like everybody's not evil and dark. So he kind of
like brought me out of that, like opened my eyes
back up, because otherwise I feel like my heart would
probably shut down after what I had just come out

(14:50):
of and so.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
Shy. He was the nicest, sweetest guy. And so I
used to be Muslim, and so.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
Ram Don had came up, and so he would wake
up before sunrise and make me breakfast. A while I
go and be making my prayers and stuff, and I
come back and I got breakfast ready to go so
I could eat before the.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
Sunrise and then I'm good to go for the day.
But he was the swiftest man.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
We were onlygether for like six months, but that was
my first love. And that was the only time. Because
people always asked me to call do you want kids?
Have you ever want a kids?

Speaker 3 (15:22):
I've never wanted kids, but Lorenzo.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
I kind of imagined it, like what if and he
already had a kid two at the time.

Speaker 3 (15:28):
I don't remember what his age was. He probably was
just a couple.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Of years older than me, but he already had a son.
But I thought about it. I was like, oh, I
could do it with him. But I already knew at
nineteen I did not want kids. And I don't know why.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
It was just I think I was just I was
just born that way.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Lorenzo popped up.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
And til Lorenzo popped up, there was never another Lorenzo
because nobody else ever made me feel that.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
But that was my first love. It was something about
him that was just so sweet and endearing, and he.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
Like just took care of me, made me feel good
again after coming out of something that was so chaotic
and this this felt normal and peaceful.

Speaker 3 (16:07):
So yeah, that was that was my good time.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
I have a theory about the like not wanting kids
thing is that.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
I'm a star seat. I'm an indigo child.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
They call it, like, what's the indigo child.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
It's like these people that were we came here to.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
Like heal, he helped the world not necessarily be there.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
For ourselves and help raise adults, not kids.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
I just sometimes think that kind of we kind of
have a fear of sucking up, right, So it's like
we can see how bad shit got for us, and
we don't want to give that off to a child.
So it's like a real sensitive space, like a child
space is very sensitive for us. But we meet the
right person, then it's like, Okay, then I have help

(16:51):
in in growing and having grown this child or maturing
this person in the kind of way that I want.
Whereas if I did it by myself, I don't think
I could probably pull it off. This is a theory.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
That is a theory I believe. For me, that wasn't
it though? For me, I never wanted to raise a
kid by myself. I was like, that's crazy, Like why
would I do that? So, growing up, I never dated
anybody long enough to where I saw the potentiality for
something more. So to me, if I wasn't dating for
this the end all be all relationship, I was never

(17:25):
looking for that growing up, I was just dating. Right,
I'm just now going I'm ready for my life partner,
and I'm forty four. I'm just now in my forties
making that decision. So prior to that, based on the
people I dated that I never went to have kids
with any of those people now because they weren't great people,
but I never saw that, so therefore I wouldn't have
had a child by now.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
For me, that's why.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
And so you're prioritized mindset, whereas most women would be
like family and children, you yours was I'm just going
to help out the world, because that's where I said.
I am a child psychologist, a psychologists.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
Child here to help me adult, so y'all can raise
your kids better.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
That's how I felt.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, oh my gosh, you know, it's so so amazing
hearing the names of the first loves of people.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
What was your first loves name Tiffany, Tiffany, Tiffany.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah, yeah, Tiffany had my heart. Tiffany also broke my heart,
but she she bounced back and I showed her that
I was the one to love.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
How long were you all together?

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Me and Tiffany went for about two three years? Yeah,
some something like that. But I know HER's just like
I knew hers is like junior high school. Yeah. Yeah.
A lot of women were threaten by Tiffany and Tiffany.
Tiffany has no idea, because you know, I've learned through
my twenties, you don't talk about the women your first

(18:55):
love because they're women. Women don't like that. But I've
heard the Tiffany that we have another name one here, Danian.
I don't even know Danian. If you ever listen to
Danian was just out here stealing people as women and
then also breaking Mela's heart. And like he's Danie's come

(19:16):
up two times on two different episodes, two different people.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
We cannot be adding us to the episode. Now we're
taking that out.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
But all right, so we're we're in love with Lorenzo.
Who's breaking our heart?

Speaker 3 (19:31):
Like who broke who's heart? No, you have I broken
the heart?

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Don't have anyone broken your heart?

Speaker 2 (19:37):
Or or I would say I was heartbroken by the
ending of that relationship, but I knew like why, like
it was something I didn't tell him and so he
was he just he felt a way. But I also
feel like also like, okay, it was supposed to end, right,
it was, it was supposed to be the six months,
But I felt heartbroken after that one because I thought
that was gonna be my main Yeah, so I would
say that was my first I would say that was

(19:58):
my only heartbreak where I was actually like sad after
something ended. I feel like everything else I ended, or
I was like, Okay, this is time to end like this,
this is not going any further. So outside of that,
outside of Lorenzo, I've been good.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
That is That is great because some people, you know,
the way people would just be like, yeah, after this heartbreak,
man and shape me for the rest of my life.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
Anything that crazy.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
And then my ex my last serious relationship with my
ex girlfriend. I was a little hurt by that one
because I didn't know at the time she said this,
and she's the one that named me Nicole.

Speaker 3 (20:33):
So, but I was going through.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
Depression prior to us separating, and I didn't realize I
was going through depression.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
But she left me during the depression, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
And and then it was then like the depression kicked in,
and then I felt like she went off and was
having fun. I'm sitting over here like why I can't
get off off the counter, this invisible box and then
seeing her like, you know, take off and do everything
she was supposed to do, and I'm like, what happened
to me?

Speaker 3 (21:04):
What about me? That felt a little sad. But other
than that being good. You know what I'm saying. We
are strong.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Are strong, That is good. You need to have a
strong heart these these days and throughout life, because the
way life can shape your heart and and maneuver and
put you in spaces like and that can like warp
your mind into like what love is? I just I
remember like not only having my heart broken, but I

(21:35):
loved being around women and like listening to girls and
just like having female friends and all the stuff. Women
can be ruthless. Oh yeah, yeah, So not that like
having my own personal experience of like my heart being broken,
I've had that, but also hearing about how they break hearts,

(21:56):
and it put this fear in me of like, yo,
do I really even want to be in the love
space or do I just want to be the man
that's like loving women and just making them comfortable and
then just going from women to women, just showing them
that there is a better way for men out there.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
Now that you said, I'm like, I realize I probably
actually broke a lot of hearts.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
Now I see, now we're going to the heartbreaker.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
My heart always stayed open, though I don't know what
that was but I've never closed my heart down even
after things or like somebody treated me bad or you know,
you know when people are in relationships, they people start
acting funny, they started acting a little mean, that start
acting a little different than how they used to you like,
where did this personality come from?

Speaker 1 (22:37):
The exit personality?

Speaker 2 (22:38):
I've been hurt from that, but still I've never let
anything close my heart to where I'm like, I'm not
looking for love anymore.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
I've never felt that.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
And I think that's a beautiful thing about me, is
that I continue to leave my heart open, like I'm ready.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Let's let's let's let's let's figure out. Let's see what
happens this time experience your person experience.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
Yeah, I learned some lessons so we don't get it.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah, and you know it's always a heartbreakers that pe
love so god damn much. What it is about that?

Speaker 3 (23:03):
Because I got that good energy?

Speaker 2 (23:04):
You know, I'm still a good energy, Like I can
come out of something income right back, and I'm like
you doing maybe the light?

Speaker 1 (23:13):
What is it about you though? What makes you so
lovable that makes you want to just like attract attracted
to you?

Speaker 2 (23:19):
I mean you would have to say, I mean you
didn't met me. I think it's I would say, good energy. Yeah,
and I'm myself and that's that's literally, I only know
how to be myself and it's authentic, it's real. I
just feel like it's just real. It's the realness. And
I'm peace. I'm peace. I'm not bringing no drama to nobody.

(23:44):
So I feel like the peace, the energy, the good vibes,
the fun. I'm very very youthful. So I think that's
that's thought.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
We were just the same age. Actually, when you're around,
I still think we're the same as.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
Everybody, right, But yeah, and I have that wisdom.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
So I think it's because I can actually I have
this wisdom of like an older person, but also have
this fun of like you know.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
A teenager's money in their twenties.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
And so I think just the mix of both of
those kind of takes you before like a beautiful ride.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
You know. Now that you're saying this and we're having
this conversation and I'm putting like this conversation and what
I actually know of you, you feel fresh, like oh
this this bottle of water. I'm thirsty. I mean this
the love space is dry out here, right, The love

(24:33):
space out here is dry and then here comes the cold,
this fresh drink of water that's just like, hey, Hi,
what's going on? Yeah, it's cool, nice smile, And I
think that's what it is, just from like my opinion
of like my observation of you, that's.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
What I would feel. I just made my dating profile
again on Hinge and everybody keeps saying you got good
energy or you got good vibes, like.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
That's usually the comment that people leave like that, And
that's the energy I'll also want to give off because
I feel like that helps to actually weed out people
on a lower vibration. And when I say lower vibration,
I just mean they're not happy with their lives. They
don't have the positive mindset. So that's who I am,
and that's just always how I'm gonna show up, even
if I'm not, even if I'm going through something, I'm

(25:19):
still gonna show up that way, right.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
And then the other part of it, which I agree on,
and then I am people are so attracted to me
with is the being yourself right, and when you know
you got some shit with you, you kind of got
to like put on the dating avatar. I got to
show up as my best self, show all these good sides,
and then when we get to like the the nitty

(25:43):
gritty and the ugly side, then we'll just figure that out.
But people like us who aren't walking with this baggage
or dragging, dragging anything like negative with us from anything
from our past, like it's still there, but we're not
letting it show up to a way where it's detrimental
in our relationships. So not I can freely just be myself.
And this free self, this positive self, the smiling self,

(26:10):
is actually what people find a strong attraction to. And
then even and down the they feel it. They don't
know what it is, but they feel like, oh, ship,
I've been told I've never seen anybody be more themself
than you are.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
Land You and your woman get me. We are ourselves.
Yeah we don't and we don't give a.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
Voot no, And everywhere I go, I will always be
myself because I know that myself is such a good
person with good intentions and we have we do have
good hearts just walking around with a heart just glowing
and shining through like.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
Yeah, yeah that's what we really are. Yeah, you will
always be good in life because of that.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
That is true.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
We'll always have a place to lay.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Will always always take care of always, And which is
one thing that I was always take care of by women,
no matter no matter what I did, broke a heart, whatever,
or we never saw I to eye strongly, strongly can
say that women always fucked with me when I was
being myself too, I was being honest. I love that

(27:22):
for me, for you, all right. So we know that
we don't like kids, right, Yeah, Well.

Speaker 3 (27:31):
I'm I'm like, I'm gonna like my little niece that's coming.
At least take her on. I came next week, really
next week. I just got my Auntie T shirt. I'm ready.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah, we've got to get you the good. Mom's got
to get you some Auntie merch coming up. Yeah Yeah,
they got Auntie as funck shirts and stuff like that.
Ye talking about I'm gonna let her know, get you something.
So we know kids are necessarily on the table, right,
But we we have a good view of your daddy,
your step mom.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
They were married, Yes, they're married, still married to this day.
That forty something, Yeah they're forty Something're almost a fifty.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
Anything over five years is a trade from right. Yeah,
So we have this example of marriage though, was marriage
though in your like wheelhouse and thought process, even if
kids weren't, that was not either.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
Even that's new.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
And I feel like I maybe couldn't pitch your marriage
again because I didn't grow up in it. Like my
sister is married, she's been married for over ten years now.
My sister's three years younger, and then my brother is
eight years younger and and his girlfriend have been together
to about maybe five years and they're getting married like that's.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Coming up next, beautiful, beautiful.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
But they grew up in a married household with two
parents who are like, it's actually a healthy household, like
you know what I mean, nothing crazy going on, but
crazy outside of that, like the family, you know what
I mean, we both got all that going on. So
I'm just now I don't know why what was my
mindset around a getting I just didn't picture it. I
didn't grow up thinking of myself in like the wedding

(29:05):
dress and like walking down the aisle. And I think
it was because I, again, I just didn't grow up
in it. And I think it also like affected even
just my worth, like I don't know if anybody would
actually want me to in that way, maybe because I
didn't see it from my mom, you know, like having
an example and seeing it in her.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
But I'm just like that. Just now.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
I thought I was gonna have like a boyfriend a girlfriend,
being an open relationship, like that's what I saw for myself,
like in my thirties, and then I just switched that
up and I was like, nah, I can be with
one dude.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
I'm good with that dude, just like putting down.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
I was no colder Unicorn for a good little while
my thirties, but then I was like that, I don't
want that anymore. Like I just evolved, and I think
it because I was just around that. I knew other
people who were in that lifestyle, like it seemed appealing
to me.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
But as I stepped away from that, I was like, no,
I just want my maid. I just want my man.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
You know, if you have a little girlfriend on the
side of every kid, you know, every now and then,
that's cool too, but I just want my man.

Speaker 3 (30:06):
So I can see it now.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
It's still not something that I dream about, but it's
something I still want because I want to hang out
with my Mary friends too, you know what I mean.
You know some Mary friends they want to just hang
around their Mary friends, and I'm like, I want to
be Mary friends too, you know, and.

Speaker 3 (30:19):
Not be not being a part of the group, of
missing out on the on the merry friend trips, you
know what I mean. So I see it for myself.
Now I'm ready to get married.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
In case anybody's wondering out there, I have a beautiful
left ring finger if you want to.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
My nails are down, nice, little vacant finger, just waiting
waiting for some weight on it, ready for.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
A princess cut diamond with halo.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Let me get the time step at the thirty minute
mark on this episode, Hey, listen to this, my brother,
because this is what she wants. Did it? Did things improve?
Like growing well with your you and your mom's relationship
at this point?

Speaker 3 (30:59):
Now good.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Now we talk all the time. I call her all
the time. I can sometimes say I love you on
the phone. We just did a mushroom journey together last year, beautiful,
and that was I was like, let's do some more work.
Her mushroom journey didn't kick into the next day, which
was funny.

Speaker 3 (31:14):
She like went home.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
She was like, yeah, I decided to like smoke some
weed and have a little drink and she was just
like then it just all came flooding in.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
So she had a delayed response to her journey, but
we did. We did. It did work.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
Through some things like like I had this I feel
like I have her, like an even better relationship with
my mom, like I accept her and all that good stuff.
I just be like, Okay, that's my mom. Now I
don't get mad at shit she do. I just be like,
that's my mom. Like I'm at that stage where it's.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Just like we're good.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
The only thing though, I noticed, I was like, I
still don't feel comfortable saying I love you. But again
it was something that I didn't grow up saying either,
so it just still feels weird. And then when I
see other mothers and daughters, like even Mela and her daughter, I'm.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Just like, that's so beautiful. I was like, I have
no idea what that looks like.

Speaker 2 (31:54):
Feels like I can see it with other people, but
I just never had it with my mom. So I
wanted to do this mushroom journey to see if that
could close the gap. So there was one part of
my journey where I had two facilitators, two friends that
were leading our journey, and at one point I had
got up and then like she sat me back down

(32:15):
and she sat behind me, and I like laid into her,
like laid into her bosom, and then she just like
held me and like rocked me. And then spirit, like
whoever was talking to me my higher guides, was like,
go do that with your mom. And so my mom
was sitting on the floor laying down, and I was like,
are you sure, and they were like, no, go do
that with your mom.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
And I was like, who is this talking to me
right now? And I was like, lay with my I've
never like laid up cuddled with my mom. So again
there was a lot of resistance. And then something in
my head is saying, go do that with your mom.
Go do that with your mom. And I'm just like okay,
And so.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
I go over and I lay on my mom's chest
and I can hear her heartbeat and you know when
your mushrooms, like everything is amplified.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
So I literally felt like I was in her womb.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
And then I could feel the energy of the energy
like our energy is like mixing together. And then I
was like, okay, do I get up? Spirit was like no,
stay there, and so I just stayed there. And later
on my mom for probably about five minutes. And I
don't know what it did, but I feel like it
did something like it bonded us in some type of way.
And the funniest thing, my mom had no idea that
was me laying on her. She thought it was one

(33:19):
of the other facilitators.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
She didn't know that was me.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
T after when we were talking about and she was like, oh,
I thought that was something that they were doing, like
as part of the junk.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
I did, But yeah, that was that was my I
think my closest.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
Bonding moment was my mother laying on her and hearing
her heart beating, being back up inside the womb but externally.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
But yeah, we have a good relationship now. She lives
out of state.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
She's lived out of state since I was uh since
my junior in high school. She moved out of state
and I stayed with my grandmother my last two years
because our relationship was so bad. I was like, I'm
not going with you. I'm gonna stay here. You go
do your thing and I'm gonna stay over here.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
But we get along great. Now.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
That is so good.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
We we homies.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
Now.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
We can talk about all the things I call her
about everything that's going on.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
She hypes me up. She's always like, so, what did
you do? You know?

Speaker 2 (34:17):
She calls you know, how the Kardashians, how's the party?
Can see me all the pictures and videos whatever you didn't.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Post online, like all that stuff. She she lives vicariously
through me.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Now that is wonderful. I'm so happy that y'all have
grown brought it.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
Back mature to this space because I had to do
all the work. I had to do all the work.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, you know, sometimes I think about like the one
to say I love you to someone or to a parent,
and like there's that hesitation there. I've come to find
within myself that excuse me. I've come to find that
within myself that the prior the thing that I want
to prioritizize to say. And why I can't get to

(34:54):
the I love you part is because I want to
say you hurt me part that's been that's that's more
prominent for me. And once I can get through that part,
then I can get to the I love you.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
That's what you think. I thought that too. It's like layers,
it's layers to this shit.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
I've gone through so many layers where I'm like, oh,
I forgive my mom, and I thought the eye love
was gonna come and then something else will pop up.
What I found for me, that's that's in the gap
of that is still this judgment of where I would
like her to be mm hm. And because she's not there,
it's like you can't have judgment and love in the
same place. It's like you got to drop one. And
so I think the moments where I the times where

(35:31):
I do say I love her, it's because we had
this really great conversation, like I felt the connection. And
then there's other times I'm like, that's my mother.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Man.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
Maybe I don't say it, but I think that's literally
the only thing in the gap is me still having judgment.
That even came up with my ayahuasca journey. First one
I did, I had took my little drink and then
the first words out of my mouth was like, I'm
so judgmental, And I was like, I don't feel judgmental
about myself. Thought I was like my clients, I'm not judgmental,
Like I was like a whole space, and then it

(36:00):
was like, oh, I'm so judgmental about my mother.

Speaker 3 (36:03):
Oh I'm so judgmental. About myself.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
And that's when it hit me like, oh, that's what's
in the gap, because I actually wrote that for my intention,
like show me, like what's in the middle.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
Of me and my mom.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
So it was the judgment. And so there's still little
pieces of judgment that I have of where I wish
you would get it together in some way, but it's
like I need to get it together in some way too.
So if I hold that judgment for her, that means
I'm also holding it for myself.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
And then also other people.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Because whatever you hold for yourself you're holding it, you're
projecting it outwardly too.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
So yeah, I've I have the best relationship with my
mom that I think that I've ever had in my life.
And me and my mom don't speak at all. Oh really? Yeah,
And the reason why I I never thought of never
speaking to my mom before, but when things got so

(36:54):
bad between us, I realized that whenever I thought of
my mom, I would prematurely not prematurely, I'll prematurely assume
that the next time we're gonna talk is there's gonna
be an argument. Like I would have a seven to
fifteen minute window of communication with my mom because anything
beyond that goes into an argument. And so I realized

(37:18):
that when my mom just kept doing stupid shit that
kept like upsetting me, I was like, I need to
stop this now because if I don't, I'm going to
add on more negative memories than positive memories from my mom.
And so it took a while for me to like
get back into the like remembering the positive times that
me and my mom have had. And you know, when

(37:40):
I moved to la and being around Luna, I started
realizing naturally what inner child work is. And then I
just looking into myself. I started to regain my memories
from my teenage years, which I had like this gap
because that's when like shit was really bad between me
and my mom. And so now that I stopped talking

(38:01):
to my mom, I can I couldnot like predict or
think about all the annoyances or the upsetting moments I'm
going to have my mom in the future that's not
even there yet because my mom is just constantly annoying
me all the time. But now that I have no
more added memory, it's like I can now relish and

(38:22):
sit just and think about all the positive things. And
on top of that, now my mom and Miela have
a wonderful relationship, like they speak. Yeah, so I don't.
I don't cut anybody else off from my mom, right,
I won't want my mom to be happy, and my

(38:42):
mom has it in her, but when it comes to
like me and her, I just don't feel it. But
now that we don't speak, I feel all of it,
Like I feel like this is beautiful.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
I like that you said because that was the stage
I went through my mom r I didn't talk to
her for a long time, and then that was where
it was best. So you'll move through that stage. But
that's the stage with you know, getting over your.

Speaker 4 (39:01):
Mother's and and just like when you have your next kid,
it probably will shift because then it will be about
the kid versus y'all's relationship, Like you'll let y'all stuff go,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Right? And And I could have never like I've had
my moment. I was a teenager and I was mad
at my mom. I hated my mom and all that things.
But as a as an adult, I as much as
like my I feel like my parents didn't gride me.
I never got to a point where like I hated
my parents. I just always wanted them to just be better.
And even thinking about my dad and all the bullshit

(39:37):
that came with my dad, one thing he always said
to me was, you know, be nice to your mom, right,
And the ship just stuck, which is crazy because it's like,
you're not being nice to my mom. Get it together.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
That's why he told you to.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Right, right, So you just try to put the job
off to my But the one thing that always stuck
was always be kind nice to my mom. So I
never got to like that, the hateful part of it,
but I wanted to always preserve at least some level
of like positive memory with me and my mother.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
That's really good because I don't know if most people
think like that. I think, especially if you had a
good grandmother, your grandmother tell you to like your mother too,
you know, like respect your mother.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah, my grandma's my hero.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
But I think there does need to be a level
of understanding and grace because again, we don't know what
our parents went through that make them how they are.
And I think it's so important that if you want
to get through these layers of forgiveness with your parents,
you got to understand that they went through some shit
that was ten times worse than the shit that.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
You think you experienced with them.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
And if you don't have compassionate understanding for what they
went through, then how can you expect them to have
it for you or anybody else.

Speaker 3 (40:58):
So, like it starts there. I think if we talked.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
With our parents more from the angle of what happened
to you and just went like deep dive in today
and let them just kind of get that out mm hmm,
and feel more for them versus just thinking about what
our feelings.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
The feeling part. Boy, you know, feelings is a thing.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
It's a thing.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
That was very a very Neanderthal way of saying that,
but feelings is such a thing because it was so
hard for me to cry, so hard for me to feel,
and I always like felt this like blockage at that
and when when I sit into like when I did
this cord cutting with my mom and stopped talking to

(41:42):
her and then I really sat into like thinking, sat
into like thinking about my my childhood memories that I
that I forgot and then also falling in love with Mila,
like real, this is my person. Love started to cry
and I started to feel emotions and I'm like, oh

(42:04):
my god, this is what it feels like one. Crying
is draining. It's really good, but it tires me out.
If I if I drop a tear right now, I'll
need to sleep in it. Like the four hours.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
That's how much energy is taken up in your body though,
So it's like you want to actually get.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
That out and and I do. But like just just
realizing that going through these journeys and these feels and
and these memories and stuff like that, I have now
regained my full array of emotions.

Speaker 3 (42:42):
That's beautiful. Yeah, it's locked it up. Which she's a mother,
which I think.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
That which helps, Yeah, because Luna definitely a tributes to that,
so it and you know, it's it's also why I
just I'm not cutting off the world from my mom
because like I have feelings for her. I still I
don't call my mama her name as it don't matter
how mad or pissed off my mom would get me.
Her name is mob. Nothing changes right right right, So

(43:15):
it's just it's just all wonderful to see like how
it all comes together when you actually like take a
second to you know, adjust and understand. And I can
understand like where my parents are coming from, my parents
coming from a thoroughwell country like back in the day,
like it's it's it's rough.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
They didn't get nothing.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
You gotten none at all and will never experience it
even except from the the the context of you going
back to share what you've now found out about love,
in which you know about love, they'll be able to
get that, yeah, which is that's the gift. Right again,
We came through our parents for a reason, which just
makes us us. And you don't be the beautiful person

(43:54):
that you are if you had own parents at the
end of the day, like even though it's like that
was a shitty way, but you're not who you are
if you didn't come through damn, because you don't do
the opposite thing, you know what I mean, And then
you don't offer the gifts that you offer now to
your fiance and your daughter and then your future kids
like so and I was.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
Oh, my gosh, I was really trying to avoid like
telling the story. But I recently was thinking about and
I don't know why this download came in. I saw
myself at like my dad's funeral, right and at my funeral,
I see myself like on the stage and I'm sitting there.
I don't know why, Like it was just like on
my mind and I'm thinking about, like, you know, what

(44:35):
would I say like at my dad's funeral? And then
I realized, like I'm imagining and seeing myself say this speech,
and I'm realizing like, oh shit, no matter how fucked
up my dad was or the relationships, and I was like,
I'm gonna just do the opposite thing of my dad,
and I'm be better than my dad. The one thing
my dad always said was, you know, be kind and

(44:55):
nice to your mom, and I'm not really And I
never realized that that shit sat with me with how
I treat women. So this whole time, I'm upset and
I'm angry at my dad and I want him to
be better women. I'm the oldest of four boys and
we all have different mothers. Oh wow, yeah, but not
compared to my grandmother, who has a grandfather who has
twenty nine kids. So it's big upgreed. But I'm sitting

(45:21):
here at my dad's funeral and in my mind and
I'm just like, oh shit, this whole time, I'm trying
to be not like you, and you are. He himself
is like real comfortable as much of as a Jamaican player,
he has, smooth talker he is, and having all these

(45:42):
women like he is kind and nice to women. So
as I'm sitting here like, oh, I just want to
be the opposite of my dad and away from my
dad and not thinking like my dad, and the whole
time he is still being a father and directing me
in the direction of being kind and nice to women.
And the ship upset me so much. I broke out

(46:03):
in tears thinking about this, because it's like you, motherfucker.
I was trying to not be like you, and I'm
becoming more like you in that specific space when I
just wanted nothing to do with you at all, and
I was like, you got me and I didn't realize
it until after you've passed away. But in my in
my mind, yeah, in my mind. But now that I

(46:25):
had the recollection before and he's still here, he's still
alive and well. But now that I have a recollection
while he's still here, that ship just blew my mind.
That was a crazy download for me to have. We
are them, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:41):
We are them, beautiful of them, yeah, much better versions,
better versions, And that's what it's supposed to be. It's
literally supposed to be that.

Speaker 1 (46:55):
How would you define love?

Speaker 3 (47:03):
That's here, that's right. Let them tears out over there,
zoom in on those tears. Love love so many things.

(47:24):
I'm trying uh to me. It's a feeling. It's a feeling.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
It's it's I see you, I understand, I accept you.
It's I almost also think of it as like a
comfortability to just be yourself with someone else and then

(47:50):
allow somebody else to be themselves.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
But it's it's this beautiful feeling.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
I don't it's not describable, like when I think about it,
because again, it's a feeling.

Speaker 3 (48:05):
What else is love for me?

Speaker 2 (48:10):
It's the joy, it's the smile, it's the memories of,
you know, the loving feelings I can think back of,
like the love that I felt from my grandmother, which
always felt so beautiful. I think of the love of
my friends that I have who feel like family to me.
When it's like I'm around them, I just feel so
much joy and love that I necessarily didn't feel in

(48:32):
my own family unit growing up. Right to know like, oh,
I can experience this outside of my family because I
used to think everything I had to feel with my
family and because I didn't have it with them, then
things were fucked up, and then realizing like, oh, I
can experience love outside of that. My friends, the people
I attract now into my life, Like that feels like love.
Like just hanging out of your guy's house the other

(48:53):
day that felt like love. For me to call like
what y'all doing, Okay, I'm coming over, Like that feels
like love. Or like I took my brother out to
we went out to a basketball game the other day,
and when we were when I was younger, that was
one of the things when I first started making money.
I would take my brother out to these basketball games
with like the Harlem Globetrotters and things like that. And

(49:14):
I was just like, wow, it's twenty years later and
I'm doing that again, and just me and him just
hanging out, you know what I mean, Like that just
felt I just felt so much love from that, or
knowing that he's bringing a life into this world, like.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
The love of that.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
I checked on my sister the other day, like how
you doing, and we just talking, and I was like,
let me put more effort into building the relationships that
don't necessarily feel that strong and stop expecting other people
to do it, or just kind of letting it lay
lay by the side.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
But I think the love is its effort. It is.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
It's continuing to grow together and just like enjoying enjoying
one another. And it's got so many.

Speaker 3 (50:01):
Layers of rains, you know what I mean, It's a lot.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
But at the end of the day, I think it's
just it's connection, connection, care, connection and care, connection and care.
Like I had a dream about a cousin the other
day and I thought of her, and then the words
lifeless energy came out of my mouth, and I was like,

(50:25):
what the fuck does that mean? Like I thought maybe
she died or like something happened to her. But by
me honoring the dream, it made me call her and
I hadn't talked to her in years, and then that
led to us having like a forty five minute conversation,
but also helping me tap into the love that she
was missing. She wasn't feeling loved, and so I felt
like I had to be tapped into my own love

(50:49):
to acknowledge I just had to dream about a cousin
and then go check on her and then feel enough
of love in my heart knowing this is my family member,
not just somebody off the street. But I cared enough
to go because I know it's my family, right, that's
the love. Like I wouldn't do that when necessarily somebody
else off the street. But because it's my family, there's
a love there connection that made me reach out that

(51:10):
now we're connected even deeper to where now I can
help her. I can reach my hand out and grab
her and say I got you and I'm gonna help you,
and i'ma help you and your sister reconnect and you
know what I mean, bring our family closer together. So
I think that love is just like Karen to make
everything just better.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
Just Karen, Karen. It really is like.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
You gotta care, gotta care.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
We're all connected.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
If everybody cared about one another, we would have a
better world.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
You know. That's another definition because I feel like I
realized that we all have a different way of defining
care and how we care about something. And I care
about something. This shit is fine China, it's porcelain. It
it gets very delicate, and that's what caring is. And
some people just like can pick up and put down
on their care and it's like we just we just

(52:03):
all have different ways.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
Of you know what I mean, And it's taking care
of yourself. It's taking care of yourself too, because it
starts in yourself, it starts with you.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
How are you treating the ones you care about?

Speaker 3 (52:24):
These days, I feel.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
Like I'm doing even better, Like that's been on my
vision list for my own self around love, like connecting
more with my family, be and having more community, connecting
more with my friends. I feel like I've always been
the friend that the my friends they choose me and
they pour more love into me only because and again

(52:47):
I know it's because I need that, right, I need
more pour it into me because I didn't necessarily.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Have it as much growing up.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
So I feel like the friends that I have are
better lovers than me, but they teach me. So I'd
be like, oh, okay, I look at how certain friends be,
and I'm like, okay, I'm I'm gonna mimic that, or
you know, I'm gonna be like that.

Speaker 3 (53:03):
I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
I want to take the pieces of how she is
with me, or how she grabs me and or how
she hugs me, and then okay, let me go do that, right,
And I'm practicing the things that happen that come towards
me I'm able to practice and be like, oh that
feels good.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
Okay, let me go do that, like how she does that,
Let me go do that.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
So I'm learning from the love that I receive from
other people. But I think I'm doing good in love. Yeah,
I'm doing I'm doing much better as a lover of
my family, my friends, and of myself especially.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
I would agree because I definitely feel a love yeah yeah,
And I truly love it when you just come over
and just show. And that is one way that me
and Miila love to show. Like the way we love
people is we don't really gotta do much because we'd
like to let you know that you don't need all
of these things to be loved. You can actually just

(53:55):
do nothing at all and we will still love you
the same exactly.

Speaker 3 (53:58):
That's how.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
That's how I am, like, just come over, you just chill,
just we can just be each other's presence. The presence
feels like love, right because you can just still be yourself,
you know, me walking around the titties and stuff, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
Like you just just feels like love. I'm like, this
is so beautiful. You cooking over here, eat my little burger.
Watch watching my booty cheeks. I feels like love. And

(54:32):
then you guys just cheer me on, like the support.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
That's the love support also, you know what I mean,
like to amplify the good feeling. And I feel like
I need that because I don't celebrate those moments usually,
So like you guys doing that mate, like it got
me into it even more. And then people messaging me
going like.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
I've seen you on I've seen you, I've seen you
on TV again, like you always doing it. I'm just like, okay, okay,
let me receive.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
That because before my young you would just be like Okay,
on to the next thing. So I'm learning even to
celebrate myself more and the things that I accomplish because
it's not that ain't It's not normal.

Speaker 3 (55:11):
It's definitely not normal.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
And I gotta start realizing, like the things that happen
for me is not by chance, but because of the
love that I do put out the loving energy, and
I feel like then therefore I attract amazing things in
my life.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Love reciprocations, Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you think that
women can handle love better?

Speaker 2 (55:35):
How can women handle love better? That's start loving their
seals more. I think the more we focus on our
sales versus outside of ourselves, meaning like your family or
your friends or your kids. Like if you're not loving
yourself good enough, you almost you.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
Can't even receive it.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
So that's how you have so many people that are
burnt out, Like I see it all the time, especially
in the work that I do. Work with women all
day every day, and so many people are like, I'm
not making time for myself, or they're tired, or they're
stressed out. They don't have any energy for themselves, and
it's because they're taking care of everybody else. So I
think women can love themselves more. I receive more love

(56:17):
by actually loving themselves and making themselves a priority because
I'm the vessel, like I gotta take care of me first,
I really do. And again, because I am a solo person,
I don't have the kids, like I really understand that
in a different way than a person that does have kids, right,
because like once you have kids, you kind of separate
from yourself.

Speaker 3 (56:36):
I believe.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
So I believe that people come to me because I
can offer the balance I can show you, like, hey,
give more to yourself.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
And you'll still have time.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
For it and you still will, because by doing that,
you're teaching the kids and the family.

Speaker 3 (56:52):
To take care of themselves. Also, like, you gotta do
what you need to do for yourself.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
So yeah, I was realizing like that last year I
wanted more for myself. But I would prioritize doing work
right as a way of like, oh, I need more
for myself, so I need to like get to work

(57:20):
and get to hard work and do work for other
people so I can get into a space of like,
you know, whatever, whatever I need for myself in the future.
And but I wasn't going to the gym. And then
I would purposely prioritize, all right, let me edit some stuff,
get some work done, and if I have time, I'll
go to the gym. And I was like and then

(57:40):
after a while I knew it already. But then I realized,
I'm working ass backwards.

Speaker 3 (57:45):
Everybody thinks work is life. It is so nuts.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Look at the animals, the birds, the cats, the dogs.
They are chilling. Okay, they're chilling, yea. Our life is
so much more than work, my work. I would like
to work less than four hours a day. I don't
need to work more than that I can, but why
I would rather fill my day with just doing things

(58:10):
that I love to do, taking a walk, sitting on
the couch, eating my oat meal, meditating the first fifteen
minutes when I wake up, Spend a little time on
my phone, Go do my face or wash my ass,
Go beee a few times in a day, beat myself,
talk to some friends, go hang out with some people,
be in community, go work out. I think the more

(58:30):
time we spend on ourselves, you gotta be more selfish.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
So you can be more selfless.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
If you be over selfless, you end up deteriorating yourself faster.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
And I've seen that too.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
Like if I look at my step mom mom, my
dad says my step mom is the most selfless person,
and she is, but she also I feel like forgets
about herself too, and I wish she could receive even more,
which she does, like she receives so much. My my
Dad's like my step I can have whatever she want
because she takes care of everybody else. But like her
body hurts, and I'm like, I wish I could just

(59:08):
go over there and just throw a big raiki bubble
on her and then she feels all better again, you
know what I mean. But if she gave more time
to herself, like you know, going to exercise and take herself,
then her body would feel better now. But that's the
part that she maybe didn't pay attention to because she
was paying attention to everybody else, the family, the kids,
and everything like that. So I believe we are in
a time though, where people are realizing that we got

(59:29):
to take more time to ourselves. And that's when I'm
here to remind people, like you got to spend more
time with you, even though that seems counterproductive, but it's
so not focusing on everybody else's actually kind of preductive
to your health mentally and physically and spiritually.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
Yeah, on all types of ways. I've really I've come
to realize that my mind. I don't know if it
was just through like the way I was raised or
where it came from, but my mind is confused and warped.
The difference between like what self and what's selfless? Right,
and the things that I'm thinking is selfish is like no,

(01:00:03):
that's actually what you're supposed to be doing, and that's
actually selfless. It's actually merciful to be able to do
for yourself because now you have the energy to give
to more people and that extra energy. It's not the
energy you're supposed to give off, it's the extra energy
that you have. That's what people can have. And things
that I'm thinking is like selfless, is like, no, that's
really selfish, because you know, sometimes you do things thinking

(01:00:26):
that you're doing this to help somebody, but it's really
because you just want them in your life in a
certain type of way. You're doing more for other people.
You're doing all these things. It's like, no, you're not
doing and it's not coming from a good place in
the heart. Is coming from I just won't really want
you around. And that's necessarily not always the best way
to have people in your life. It's just supposed to

(01:00:46):
come organically and natural breath in.

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
People.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
You know. I've been having a good time like reading
people and doing this like mini fake life, coaching people
and telling them about their love. And I finally feel
like I got a good coaching to me and I
could have opened.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
Here to help the people.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
You know, Man, I'm gonna have to get you in
your Monica Nicoll the love before we get out of here.
This is something that I love one. I love them,
by the way, so divine blessings. I love to have

(01:01:32):
people take this moment to dedicate some love to someone.
You can just take a moment and send some love
to anyone that you're like.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
Gonna make me cry. I was in love to.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
I wist in love to my stepmother, my step mom Sandra,
my dad Windsor, my brother Windsor Junior, my sister Agerie,
and then my two little brothers, Ryan and Kobe, and
my mom. I'm a Sarah. I want to send love
to all my family, all my family that is where

(01:02:07):
we're not connected, and I'm sending love that we are
able to bring ourselves back together and not continue on
in the tradition of our parents.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
So I'm sending love to that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
Oh thank you. This is beautiful man. Every single one
of these gu ares so good. Thank you so much.
Thank you anything he likes her from. Let people know
your services and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
Yes, if you would like to have some more balance
in your life to live a peaceful life, a transformed life,
UH call me. You can find me on Instagram to
call the soul Coach. You can also find me on
Instagram to call the poll. My website is the Calldpole
dot com. I can help you throw that ass in

(01:02:55):
a healing circle. I can also put you in a
healing circle, so you can contact me for spiritual coaching, Reiki,
sound baths, Accashic Records, pole dancing.

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
Retreats, holding space.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
For if you needy, type of healing, anything you're working through.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
I got you. I'm here for you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
Thank you for being here for us physically, mentally and spiritually.
You really true are an amazing person inside of it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
I care.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
Yeah, it was put in me. Yeah. Please like and
rate and leave a review and comment, like wherever, wherever
we are, please just like talk to us. We love
to chat back. Miila. Miila has been killing it on
the socials, right, She's really she's really like said that
this year she's really going to take a take grip
on our socials and she's like dropping some heat on

(01:03:48):
our Instagram. So follow us on Instagram, Ma, Hucci, Mom
and Dad. But other than that, everything is love like this, before, during,
and after of falling in love. Love y'all, love y'all,
o la la la lah Like this