30: The Poly Professional Ft. Kenya Stevens

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, you guys have a child.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Yeah, we have a daughter. I mean it's my daughter,
but it's our daughter. Beautiful. How old is she? Ten? Wonderful?
She's ten. She's half baked. Yeah, girl, she is, She's baked.
I love her. Do you see how comfortable she got last
night talking about used to have a crush on Aiden
and then he went to another school And I was like, right.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Now you're talking about crushes with us.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
God, that's good. She feels safe. You know, you have
a crush on a lot of people, right like this
is not.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
It's not the first of the last. Baby like this.
You how it started?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Dude, I'm gonna say the same thing I say on
my other show, but I know what to do to start. Hi, everyone,
welcome back to Love Like This podcast. This is your
host that you've been missing. It's Mila, and we are here.
I'm here with my lovely fiance Orlando, who has been
gracing your screens many weeks without me. And today is

(01:04):
a very special day because not only were here together,
but we are here with a special guest, someone I've
been wanting to meet for a very long time. Author, entrepreneur, mother,
reality TV star wife Kenya Stevens.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Love little unmarried couples.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Are about to be married. Well that's us.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
Yes, I'm off to a strong start though. I'm gonna
get this marriage thing right. Like, look at the ring.
I even got the ring right.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Oh my god, he got the ring right.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
That's a queen right there. So I was like, I
want to get her crown. That is beautiful and man
on the inside, I.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
Have our I have our what do you call the
thing astrology signs engraved on.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
The that's beautiful. You're from you got a brother.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Family.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
I'm just a Jamaican man, okay, Jamaica.

Speaker 4 (02:09):
Yeah, Jamaica men are really good at like holding down
the family. You just tend to have multiple families. But
if you get a Jamaican man that can only solely
be for you, you.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
You want, you might you might be the connector piece.
You might be. You might change the generational.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Bridge from the old ways. Because that way wasn't right.
Somebody don't get killed in that way.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Right because my my grandfam my Jamaican grandfather certainly had
more than one family.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
Right, most of our Jamaican grandfathers have more than one family.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Why do they do that?

Speaker 3 (02:40):
You know, we can handle it.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Right, but the women don't seem to handle it very well.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Are crazy?

Speaker 3 (02:45):
Well, it's it's hard to say that women. Women are crazy.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
The women are aggressive, but they seem to be able
to handle it.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Now, you know, tribal, we're very tribal communal.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Time, this can get us way off topic, I know,
but I do think this is an important topic. Like
something just came to me when you said that, because
I feel like it's not just Jamaicans. It's like it's
a cultural thing, right, like black people and white people
everybody have the men be fucking around and having separate
families and then saying the women can handle it, She's fine,
she'll be okay in innate league. The women somehow do

(03:18):
fucking just go along with it, knowing that she makes
us up the street with two other kids. The kids
don't know and shit, and I just.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
The Jamaican women are very hard hardened by it.

Speaker 5 (03:29):
They you know, they're aggressive with their kids, they're they're
sometimes aggressive with other people, maybe not with him, but.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
With everybody else. And so essentially you become like a callous.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Of a second. Enough orgasms, really, the Jamaican.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Oh no, they're getting enough orgasms.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
From one man who's half home.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
I don't mean they can handle it in a sense
of like, oh, they'll be fine. I mean the sense
of like they are willing to like take in in
this whole big family structure like and then sometimes the
women would have multiple men too, so good. It's it's
not very not one side. And the women would be like, oh,
you have kids, that's my kids. We're all gonna eat together.
It's very tribal, very community.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
But I just I just think about black women who
have gotten this bad wrap of being attitude or being
mean or being hard with their children. I even think
about my own mother, who was kind of and she's
from Philly, but like who was kind of growing up,
I was like, what the fuck is your problem? Right?

Speaker 5 (04:22):
But that's taking out all of that aggression from having
to just hold space for those men to do that
and still be with them.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
And so yeah, I feel like I feel like this
is a correlation between how we like, how we show up,
and what we inherit and like, and then black men
being like, well, I want to date Barbara because she's
soft and nice and I can cry around Barbara like Nigga,
that's because you didn't give fucking me all the shit
and now Barbara, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
So we're happy.

Speaker 5 (04:51):
Go look because you've been having orgasms and not ashamed
to have six and not ashamed to say, uh uh,
you're only gonna be with me exactly.

Speaker 4 (04:57):
That's also the reason why the women sometimes I kind
of deal with it because the sex from a Jamaican.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Man is.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
For that.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
No, i'mted, hold on, hold on, I've tested it, and
they are strong in terms of VIRA, but I think
they need work in terms of their tontric. Oh yeah, yeah,
like the emotional connection part.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Yeah yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Luckily this Jamaican is.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
I can see that.

Speaker 4 (05:23):
I was raised by a woman who took the more
negative end of like the Jamaican man having multiple families.
So growing up and seeing that, I was just like,
I don't want this. This is this is not even
appealing at all. Why does anybody do this? So that's
why I was like, I'm I'm gonna be the one
to change the generational cursing cycle. And I was the
first boy also, so I was like, I need to

(05:44):
like really set the example.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Good.

Speaker 5 (05:46):
Yeah, that's called growth and development, spiritual growth and development.
That's all we're really asking, right, right.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Simple, So tell us about you. Tell us how you
arrived in this place, for changing and shifting generational cycles
for the better and making men, you know, just grow
and develop.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
I was Miela has been in stalking you, like she's.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
She's really, did you find any dirt on me?

Speaker 3 (06:15):
She's got husbands? And I was like, that's all you saw.

Speaker 5 (06:19):
Well, I do have husbands, but that took a lot
of years. I think people see the end result and
they don't know what it took after thirty years of marriage,
which is what.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
I'm curious about.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
Yeah, so like, well, how is it like even when
you were younger, like growing up? Was this even like
a thought a process sort of thing.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
It was not.

Speaker 5 (06:35):
But I felt as if you know, watching a big
family if you're from Philly, you know, we used to
have the big family reunions, watching those dissipate because of cheating,
Like you really have to look at what happened to
the family and what was it. I don't know about Jamaica,
but here in the US, a lot of couples broke
up because of infidelity, and a lot of couples were

(06:57):
dealing with money stuff.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
But if you don't have the right money and the.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Man is cheating.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
It's like a double whammy.

Speaker 5 (07:03):
And just a lot of things that happened in America
involved my family broke up around cheating.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
People just not being able to sustain their family unit.

Speaker 5 (07:14):
And I'm watching that as a little girl, like, Okay,
they're all going to church, they all praying, and they're
all doing this, but this is happening still still in
the name of.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Jesus, this was happening.

Speaker 5 (07:23):
I'm so sorry to say that, I am, but and
it made me pull away from the church.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
So that was step one. Step two.

Speaker 5 (07:31):
It made me examine what is it about sex and sensuality?

Speaker 1 (07:35):
And oh it's easy.

Speaker 5 (07:37):
The women were not gonna sit there and not be
able to have what the men could have. I saw
that my mom was on my dad like a hop baby.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
My mom too, uh.

Speaker 5 (07:51):
Because you know why, because she knew she couldn't do it.
In no universe could she do that, in no universe
could she go and take some time off and just
gets some nice dick the.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Hangout and you know, just not be home right, not
be doing this.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Not befourse, you're fucking infuriating.

Speaker 5 (08:06):
You are in like you can't handle that so those
were that was the reason for the divorces, and I
studied that. I mean, it led to so many fights,
and then just the tension in the marriages. You know,
dozens of marriages made up our community. So after watching that,
I just knew that I had to do something different. So, yeah,
before I got married. I got married when I was

(08:26):
twenty one. I was at Howard University. My husband was
getting his NBA and I was an undergrad.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
And you know Howard, you know, we up pity.

Speaker 5 (08:36):
So you know, when I got with him, I was like,
this is my man. Like I knew it was my
husband from the first date. Wow, eight weeks after we met.
We were engaged at twenty one.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, okay, they'll make them like that no more, baby.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Well I knew what I want today.

Speaker 5 (08:50):
When I went to Howard, I was like, I'm going
to marry on Howard Dykes. But in doing so, we
did have these types of discussions and I was like, well, we.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Have to do something.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Did and he was open to that. Yeah, because his
father cheated left when he was six.

Speaker 5 (09:05):
My father like, so my father didn't he wasn't a cheater,
but at eight, you know, by the time I was
eighteen nineteen. He was, you know, dipping, doing a little
skinny dipping, and my mother really almost killed him.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
So that was the biggest part of my change. I
had to talk her off that ledge.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
I don't want to lose, you know.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
I've seen my mom beat my dad's ass. Like my
dad was the one who, like he would go to
work and be like, oh, something hit me, like scratches
on his face, and she's like that was the norm
in my house.

Speaker 5 (09:37):
And you know, I always tell these stories because people
think they're the only damn one and we're living in
a dysfunctional culture.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
The culture is dysfunctional, not the people.

Speaker 5 (09:47):
So there's no shame around what you've been through because
this is learned and this is cycling through our communities.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Like a wildfire.

Speaker 5 (09:54):
Y'all saw that California wildfire, and nobody.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Wants to wake Everyone's like, just keep it's not okay,
it's not it's not.

Speaker 4 (10:08):
And I've been having these like one on one discussions
with men and realizing that the men that came before
us and the teasing that they gave us was very toxic,
and we had to be the ones like really realized
like this not only is a toxic This ship don't
make no goddamn sense. It's not helpful for anybody. It's
not even helpful for us. So it's like it makes
no sense to be be the ones to like to

(10:30):
continue this when we've been so aware of realizing like
we need to stop this.

Speaker 5 (10:34):
And at that point when you wake up, what do
you do? What's your first step?

Speaker 4 (10:38):
Like you read that has been a struggle because there's
like you're building a whole new foundation off of nothing.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Well, because only so many, only so many men will
wake up and say that, because it's almost like it's
almost I always say, this is almost like racism, Right,
It's like a white man having to admit he's privileged. Right,
It's like I don't really want to fuck up my
privilege though, like I'm winning, you know what I mean.
So it's like for a man to be like this,
shit's not really fair. This don't really make sense. You
would have to acknowledge that you're winning on terms that

(11:07):
are just not equal. Right, Yeah, So I always say that,
I'm like, of course men are going to keep fucking
hollering and scaring, Like I'm the man, so this is
how I'm built, you know, you know, because it's not benefits.

Speaker 5 (11:18):
Also, men admitting to having a dysfunctional upbringing. Yeah, no
man want to talk about their mama. No, man want
to really talk about their.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Dad if dad was there.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
So these are touchy subjects that bring us to a
state of vulnerability that you were not afraid of.

Speaker 5 (11:33):
So I'm glad to be in this room, and You're
lucky to have somebody who I'm not afraid of vulnerability.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
I realized that a long time ago that fear was
a catalyst for like a lot of things. And then
once I like this connected myself from like being a
feared a person that's living in fair I was able
to like open myself up to a lot more challenges
and a lot more like just conversations and a whole
different mindset because now I'm not scared of whatever it
may come from this.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Right.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
But people who don't admit that they're afraid become even
more afraid because now they're afraid for somebody to know
they're afraid, Right, And so that's another putting on they're
putting on on.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Yeah, I've heard men say I'm scared of I might
like it, and I'm like happy and and and like
and like with yourself.

Speaker 5 (12:19):
And that it may go away if you accept it,
like the goodness of life, it may vanish.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Or if I if I give you the same privileges
in which I'm granting myself, that you will have the
opportunity to like something as much as I do, as
much as I had a guy who I was dating
who was like Muslim, and he was like a whore too,
you know, and he would just say such such hypocritical thing.
Wait a minute, Muslim, ho, they're everywhere right.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
It was.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
It was a particular man and I I he was
very sexual, but he's also very like strict, so it
was very confusing. And I told him about this experience
I had with like my friend and her boyfriend, and
it was like I was really excited about it, and
he was like he fucking cursed me out so bad.
It was like oh, and then later on we were
like having sex and he was a canting secret and

(13:09):
I was like what He's like that shit kind of
turned me on, and I'm like I'm confused, Wow, like
you just got me be a bitch just like right.
But then on the same token, like it's like a
it's like a it's something that like they desire it,
but they're also afraid of it. And it's like they
want to be able to indulge in their own shit,
for instance on Taltation Island. But I'm just but they
can't handle it.

Speaker 5 (13:31):
And it goes back to the racism thing, like do
you like black people or do you not like us?

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Like you want to like sort of indulge.

Speaker 5 (13:36):
Wear the clothes, say the language, wear the hair, get
the tanda, but you.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Don't like to marry me. That's the same thing with
men and this concept of a slut or hoe or whore,
which really in ancient Egypt the word horror.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Can you roll your arms? It means pleasure.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Oh, it means the piece of pleasure, the piece that
comes up pleasure. So that's not even a negative term.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
Right, I'm a whole baby. That's good.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
That's what my name growing up for.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Are you serious?

Speaker 3 (14:21):
Everybody? I love women, but.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
They were sacred.

Speaker 5 (14:23):
So these women that I'm talking about hours would be
the ones who would heal men after sort of battles,
all types of things that they would go through. You
can't just come home from war and go back to
your family.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
You have to go through the who process and go
and get healed by sensuality, so you could be like
a human again.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
You just put us on like that. And I'm a
big history person too, so.

Speaker 4 (14:46):
I'll not go to it the history of horse.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
I mean, I think it's just so it's impressive that you,
at twenty one, with your husband, because of your upbringing,
had this idea to like shift things, because I think
a lot of people require to require to have evidence,
you know what I mean. Like even at sixteen, like
I got picked up by this this grown man and
he was so sexy and like he was Later I

(15:11):
found he was a porn star and he was like.
I was like, give a girlfriend, and he was like,
I have a lot of girlfriends. Do you want to
be one? And at that age I was like how
old was he? He was like thirty. I was I
was lying and shit, I was being a little slapt back.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
I was direction by reading classion.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
That was my first time seeing a man say oh, yeah, baby,
I had a lot of girlfriends and you can be one,
and sh I remember that moment so distinctly because I
was like, oh, that exists. I had to hear it
and see it and feel it.

Speaker 5 (15:46):
But wait a minute, now, don't don't forget that when
we were back in kindergarten first grade, if me and
you was cool, that was our boy.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, that was right, that was our man.

Speaker 5 (15:58):
And it wasn't no, it wasn't a right. It's just
like you liking me too, right, Like yeah, we both
like him, like when you were telling people you like
we both like him.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
She like him, man, I like him, and we both
like him, you know, yeah, we like everybody in the funeral.

Speaker 4 (16:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I do remember that. And now
I'm thinking about, like what was the turning point? And
growing up and seeing my mom so jealous constantly of
my dad made me made it sit within myself like, oh.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
I shouldn't like that. I shouldn't like that, all right.

Speaker 4 (16:26):
When somebody does that, that means that there's something bad
is gonna happen. And now I feel like inherently I
have like these feelings and reactions when I have to
combat them to be like there's nothing wrong or happening
right here. Like Meila likes to be naked all the time,
so she likes to walk around with like her shirt off,
and so in the beginning, I was like, huh, here
she go. In the beginning, I was like, it's fine,

(16:46):
but then it's like a damn every time, and then
now it doesn't even dawn on me that it's happening.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
You thought that every time you had those thoughts in
the beginning.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
I was like, oh, it's fine exactly, that she's about
to have her titties out and like around people again.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
Yeah, but it was like I want her.

Speaker 4 (17:02):
It was more of a yeah, he had I want
her to be herself than like, oh, yeah, I'm cool
with this.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
Was like, I'm more cool with you just being yourself.

Speaker 4 (17:09):
And then after a while I realized, like, this doesn't
mean a connection to she's leaving me, or she's gonna
cheat on me, or she's allowing somebody to come take
her from me.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
It just means that this is her comfort. Right.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
Well, my husband didn't start out like that, so you're lucky.

Speaker 5 (17:24):
When I was twenty one, he was twenty four, we
were not talking about polyamory.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
We never heard that word. We were talking about polygyny.

Speaker 5 (17:32):
And I was telling him like, look, I know that,
you know because we're very afrocentric too, Yeah, like we
was African Bambada.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, No, like triclalk.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
Quest like we're the people.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, like yeah, the nineties.

Speaker 5 (17:46):
So my husband, I told him, like, are you one
of those guys who believes in polygyny.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
That's polygyny.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Polygyny is one.

Speaker 5 (17:54):
Man having multiple wives, okay, and they're all monogamous to him.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Okay, but they all know about it each other. They
So he, yes, he was a proponent of polygyny. So
I knew that before I got married.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
And you introduced that to him. No, we were both
Afrocentric looking for seeking a different dynamic.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
We were both seeking a different dynamic.

Speaker 5 (18:17):
Now I wasn't seeking that, but I didn't want to
have no games, like I want to know if that's
you before I get married.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
And so he had owned that.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yes, yes, And at any point did you experience jealousy?
Was that difficult for you because oh, he never did it?
Not hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
We were married in a monogamous marriage.

Speaker 5 (18:37):
However, we were initiated as a priest and priestess in
the African traditions in the US. So there's a lot
of African traditions in the US.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
You know, there's Yodoba.

Speaker 5 (18:49):
But we were initiated in the Egyptian or comedic tradition.
So in those types of circles, the men are doing this. Okay,
they've been doing it since the sixties and you know wherever. However,
back so he was exposed to that.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
But our counselors told us that you need at least
ten years with him first. The counselors of that tradition,
of that tradition, they counseled us.

Speaker 5 (19:10):
Had we had marriage counselors from day one because we
were in spiritual culture.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Okay, yeah, so just think.

Speaker 5 (19:16):
Of the Hebrew Israelites stake of all those groups, they
definitely have infrastructures because we had a strong one for
the first ten years, and they said, oh no, he
won't be allowed to start seeking another wife for ten
years until you start.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Look at my watch. I was like this because I would.
I never felt super comfortable with that.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
Well I would. I don't know what kind of bitch
I am, but just even just innately, I'm just like,
maybe cause I saw my mom act fucking nuts and
jealous and crazy for years and years and years, I
was like, hey, I don't ever want to be like that,
so I'm not pressed to be married and be like
I just it never seemed fair to me, like, go ahead,
you could have another wife, but I'm going to have

(19:59):
another nigga.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Oh you always felt that.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
I always felt that way. I never I always felt
like if this was something that you're gonna do, I
also will indulge or else it just won't be because
it doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker 5 (20:08):
Okay, So I did not feel that way, but I
will say I will take some ownership and credit because
once we got to the ten year mark, and at
year eleven, he came home and said, hey, I met
somebody at work I'm thinking about.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
You know. He was like, start talking about this, and
I said, oh you did, I said, oh, let me
meet her, and so yeah, we went to meet her
all of that, and I realized she was from Africa
and she was very naive, like she didn't know what
tofu was oh my gosh, what is that?

Speaker 5 (20:44):
Or like she didn't know like certain things. But he
felt like big man with her, Yeah, like let me
teach you baby. Yeah, And I could see that, like
I would love to teach a younger man something. So
but I could understand how you want a different energy, right.
So as soon as that happened, I was like Okay,

(21:04):
this is cool, Like, so am I going to be
able to.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
Do this too?

Speaker 3 (21:08):
No?

Speaker 1 (21:08):
No, no, no, you say, do you take that to
the elder? And because I want to know what they
said when you Well, by that time, we had come
out of that tradition. We were no longer a part
of a counseling circle and all of that.

Speaker 5 (21:21):
We had moved, Like we got up tea, we moved
to a nice big house in the suburb, super corporate.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
We're like, you know, we're still long vegan for like.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
Ten years like any other steak houses. It's an initiation.
But and so we finished, we really did complete it,
and we were on our own. So I was just
trying to see if I was going to be involved
in that. Now we had three kids, one of them
was still nursing, three home berths by the time you're
thirty one, Yeah, I was done having kids. Timehouse thirty

(22:00):
wow and homebirds. And that's that's what that was. All of.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
That sounds like a.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Never was I going to go to a doctor. Never
was a doctor going to cut my child penis?

Speaker 2 (22:16):
And was your neighbor? Was your your parents with the
ships they were with the church or were they thinking, yeah,
they were.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
With the church, but they knew that I had left.

Speaker 5 (22:24):
My dad was a black panther, okay, so he wasn't
going to church, so I would stay home with him,
my church with Stevie Wonder and listening jazz and talking
about you know, he told me all about all the revolutions,
right and everything a conversation. I had a different type
of church that led me into this home birth idea.
Openness to poligyny, openness to African traditions.

Speaker 4 (22:44):
Okay, yeah, beautiful, So you let's get this front down. Yeah, yes, poligyny.
Ten years and you have three kids now one year
and he meets somebody new, and now how do we
go from meeting a new person to you not having

(23:05):
you can't have anybody else to now we got husbands?

Speaker 5 (23:09):
Well, fortunately, in that spiritual tradition, my husband and I
created what we call a battery. So in our relationship,
he says what we want and I say how it's
going to happen. That's a balance of power, like the legislator,
judicial and executives.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
Me and Mila have something similar to that, but it's
for decorating the house.

Speaker 4 (23:28):
She gets to choose what's put in the house and
I get to choose where it goes because I have
like a nice construction type of background with my dad
and like the job that I've done, so I have
a very good eye of like where things can go
and put like nailing it, screwing it wherever it needs
to be done.

Speaker 3 (23:44):
So that's how we.

Speaker 4 (23:47):
Come together with And then if you see our house,
is it looks super customed like this?

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Sorry, go ahead, Well that's it.

Speaker 5 (23:55):
I mean, it's you have to have Like I have
been stopping divorces for the past eighteen years.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
That's what I do.

Speaker 5 (24:00):
I'm the world's best love coach. And it's because of
these tools that my husband and I.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Developed along the way.

Speaker 5 (24:06):
If you have a household where the man thinks he's
going to say what needs to happen and how it happened,
then the woman doesn't have a voice.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
And then why would I want to be here?

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Why why am I here?

Speaker 3 (24:15):
Right?

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Just hire someone you know. Yeah, So my husband had
the what his what was I want to have polygyny?
And my how was you can have polygyny if.

Speaker 5 (24:26):
I can have Polly whatever I don't I want to
be open to I want to have other dudes as well,
I want to teach you a young man some things, right.
So he and I never cheated, but when that what
and how came together, he backed up and said, Okay,
maybe I.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
Don't want.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
She's cool, but let that go.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
I he just walked it back.

Speaker 5 (24:57):
So two years went by, we kept having the conversations
and it came to the point where I went to
a conference with one of my girlfriends in Atlanta and
I met a man and I called and told my husband,
and he was like, you know what, talk to him,
talk to him, like I think I'm ready. Because I
told him the same thing. He came home and told
me I met someone, and this time he was just like, well,

(25:21):
talk to him. Just call me later, like, don't do
anything crazy, just talk to him.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
And I did. That's how it started.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
Nice.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
You know, I feel like we were having this conversation
recently Good Mom's they did an episode with me and
Erica's boyfriend and we were talking about you can't say
the man like we need to talk, right. You kind
of got to halfway be there or halfway introduce it,
or halfway in already and then say look I'm halfway
here or halfway into it. Can we go full way,

(25:47):
and that's when a man will go all right, yeah,
we were already like we already started it, the races,
already going all right, since you've already found you. If
it's before and I have to think about it and
have to think about how it's gonna go, it might
not work.

Speaker 5 (25:59):
But it's not as though my husband was ever going
to just say yes. I think a lot of it
for I had to condition for me. A lot of
my clients are looking to just tell their husband they
want Polly, and the husband station yes, that is never
going to happen.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
They're scared, and so they hold it in and hold
it in and hold it instead of introducing the idea
as soon as it comes to their mind. I think
a lot of relationships are also not in a place
of friendship so that they are afraid of judgment when
you introduce a new idea or something that's non traditional.
Because even with Orlando, but we've been we were friends,
we've been friends, but I'm like, I really had a
fantasy of being with two guys.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
When I got.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
Introduced to it, I was like, originally I was like,
it's rape, It's I'm a whore. All these things until
Jesse was like, like one of my like shifted it.
I was like, no, you'll be worshiped and you'll be
loved on and it will be beautiful and they'll be
brothers and your pleasure And I was like, huh, I
never thought that was positive pleasure. Well, there's a pleasure.
And so when I met him, I was like, let

(26:56):
me tell you what it's on my cup. Let me
tell you what's on my list.

Speaker 4 (26:59):
Actually, even when she told me this, right, she was like, yeah,
I have this idea and I have these other two
guys that I'm thinking of doing it with. And I
was like, I'm offended that you wouldn't choose me like perfect.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
And I think, I don't know, I'm gonna be in
my hand. I probably doesn't want to corrupt you. Yeah, yeah,
he's already corrupted.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
But I just don't.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
I didn't want. I didn't want to be in it
and be like is he judging me? Like he's gonna
love me?

Speaker 3 (27:24):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Just men have such a hard time with this conset.
I called my husband because I was like, is he
I just felt like he was right there watching me,
like the eyes of God.

Speaker 5 (27:32):
Yeah, you know, he said no, he said talk to him,
and I did. And that ended up being my first
extra external boyfriend. And and his thing was and our
thing and our coaching is is that the least comfortable
person has to go first. So if your man is

(27:52):
pushing it, pushing and pushing it, let your woman go first,
and then she's going to be more amenable to you.
But you know, at this point that's not the first step.
If y'all want to know the step, we can talk
about that. But really that was the turning point and
we started to, you know, get more and more open.
Now I didn't have sex, but I was nurturing a relationship.
Did you introduce him early on?

Speaker 1 (28:14):
Or yes I did.

Speaker 5 (28:15):
I invited him over? And why did he bring his fiance?
So did his fiancee know what was going on?

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Then?

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Why did his fiance like my husband?

Speaker 4 (28:23):
I was like, we had our when we finally had
our m m F. One of the things was for
me was I don't like going into things half fast, right.
If you're going to do it, like, let's fully do it.
But she had to say out loud and admit it
that she wanted to do it. And she was like, oh, well,

(28:44):
I'm thinking about and I was like, say.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
Right, thinking maybe he could come over later after the party,
and you know, I don't know what. I don't know
that out.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
That's the space that we're in as women. We're not
in that, we're not in power.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
Just say that thing, because we're always afraid that we're
gonna the love is conditioned or conditional getting there.

Speaker 5 (29:13):
But let me tell you, I push the mark. This
is my two thousand and five I'm sharing with y'all.
So this energy ball we were, we have been pushing it.
So at that point is when I started a blog.
One of those first blogs y'all member Lipstick Allen.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
Yeah, they're gonna talk about us on there somewhere over either.

Speaker 5 (29:36):
They picked up these stories like white on Ris and
started sharing them all around, and we were really ridiculed publicly,
millions of comments about our love style.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
But we kept going because I knew that it was going.
It was supporting our marriage. That's the bottom.

Speaker 6 (29:50):
Lineport and your coaching, are are there ever times when
people just have to walk like are just some people
are so stubborn and so stuck in their ways and
just not compatible that they recognize that it's best that
they go their separate ways.

Speaker 5 (30:04):
I hope that that's not because of polyamory. I mean
I coach people who want to be together forever. So
people who want to be together forever, when they receive
the tools, they're going to be together forever. People who
walk are people who did not want that, essentially, because
if you want it, you can have it through any chilene.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
You want an ownership and you wanted to have the
final say, and that's why it doesn't work.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
Right.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Have there ever been periods of time with you and
your husband have had like periods like long periods of
time separate or living separately, or like you lived with
someone else for like a year, or has it always
been have you?

Speaker 3 (30:38):
Well?

Speaker 5 (30:38):
In year five, before any of this, my husband was like,
I want my own be at room, okay, And that
broke my heart.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I was crying.

Speaker 5 (30:48):
My parents left together together, right, what does this mean?
And so yeah, and and he wasn't giving me as
much sex as I need it. I thought I got married,
so I have sex wrecking.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
Out a problem?

Speaker 3 (31:03):
Right?

Speaker 1 (31:03):
It was so many problems. From the time you're twelve
years older, you get your cycle. It's like all everybody's
like draw.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
But like no, right, especially you you a little fast
as so I was having a ton of sex.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
You know, Oh, don't do it?

Speaker 2 (31:20):
Got it?

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Definitely going to do it.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Everybody to focus on it for me not to ignore it.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
That was my thing. Also, it's like you tell me
not to do it.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
I gotta suck some day.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
You keep mentioning this thing that I can't have.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
I want it.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
What was you thinking about it?

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Now?

Speaker 2 (31:34):
So there we are.

Speaker 5 (31:35):
It's like, okay, I'm in this marriage. I'm hardly having
the sex that I want to be having. Like I
want to have sex every day. You know, I want
to have sex like eating. You eat every day?

Speaker 3 (31:45):
You want to have.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
He didn't want that, and I didn't know men didn't
want that. See, they still have me under the lie
that men have a greater desire.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
This is a man thing.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
Sex is totally a woman's thing.

Speaker 5 (32:00):
We can lay there and have orgasms from now until
next week without stopping once, without stopping.

Speaker 3 (32:05):
You're the next one right.

Speaker 5 (32:07):
In fact, copulatory sounds are for that purpose. They're calling
who's the loudest during sex? Typically me? Women women are
This is ancient primal copulatory sounds that bring the next
lover you're louder and louder as this man is about
to have an orgasm, so you're calling the next man.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
That's what it's for. I'm sorry to say that.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
Okay, don't believe black girls from Detroit.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
Read Sex at Dawn by Chris Ryan.

Speaker 5 (32:42):
Don't believe black girls sex at don He's an anthropologist
and he studied this.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
He's a white man.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
That makes sense, which I mean, I mean women are made. Yeah.
I always have felt like women are the more sexual being.
If you go with a bunch of bunch of bitches,
we're talking about men and dick. You go a bunch
of men, if there's no women there, they're talking about
sports and dumb shit until.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
They see a bitchok wise, and then they're like, oh right.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
They almost forget that. We've been like the man saying,
a bunch of stinky ass room playing video games. No
man will be like, let's go out and find the name, right,
and our.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
House already got candles, Yeah, already set up the prime.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
You talk about a house I wasn't even thinking about right,
Like really.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
Because I've thinking about you all about the seriously, the hunters, Seriously.

Speaker 3 (33:31):
I'm really enthrilled in your life, in your life, I'm
loving it.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
So you we didn't get separate rooms at that point, okay,
because you were you weren't having it. I wasn't. I
felt well, I felt I just felt like this was
not time.

Speaker 5 (33:43):
But by the time we got the polyamory, I was like, yes,
no problem, I can see why I need my own room.

Speaker 4 (33:49):
How long after the ten year, ten year point after that?
Did you get into polyamory?

Speaker 1 (33:56):
At year twelve?

Speaker 4 (33:58):
Two years after so one year he meets the tofu girl,
then you meet the guy, and then all four everybody
likes each other.

Speaker 5 (34:09):
Yes, And I was so mad when he got with
my boyfriend's partner, I mean fighting mad, Like I had
a complete temper tantrument and a meltdown with all four
of us there.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Why I cuss this li? I cussed all of everybody out.
Why read this hornto my house?

Speaker 3 (34:25):
Why?

Speaker 5 (34:25):
Because I felt like because he has sex with her
prior to me being with this guy.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
Oh, they popped in my bed.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Oh and we were in my other like the guest bedroom.

Speaker 5 (34:37):
And I'm like, like before prior to polyamory, if you
just start doing poly you're gonna really like blow up
the whole house. You can't handle the emotion of it.
Especially it's too strong, it's too primal. So we never
advised that our I've coached thousands of couples, I stopped
thousands of divorces. We don't tell our couples you're not

(34:59):
ready for poly you you. What we tell our couples
is that you're not ready for Polly.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
You don't.

Speaker 5 (35:04):
That's not step one to go zero to one hundred,
zero to one hundred, and you're not ready. You're going
to destroy your marriage without the proper tools. So now
we've built all types of you know programs, four step
you know readiness transition programs, twelve week transitions, six months transitions.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
It takes some couples two years to transition fully.

Speaker 4 (35:25):
So it was really it's beautiful that you say that
because one of the videos that we were watching and
you were talking about like the tools that you set
up in the tools that you create so that a
marriage can work if it's under a polyamory title, and
we were saying that one of the things that we
love about doing this podcast is that since it's called

(35:46):
love like this, it's like designing your own type of
custom relationship, not not it being like a title based
like monogamy and these are things that you have to
do with monogamy and that are polyamory, and these are
the things you have to do, Like no, we have
to create something where we could just give people the tools.
I'm so happy that she went to Tanto School and
became a sexologist because that's when I saw, like, oh,

(36:07):
there are so many different tools that you can use
that can uplift and make your marriage or relationship go
much longer than if you didn't have it. And the
people that really needed is our own people.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Yes, they are.

Speaker 5 (36:21):
Do you think they will put down the Bible for
a minute to look at some other literaly?

Speaker 2 (36:26):
I certainly hope. I think.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
I think if they see it, I think if they
see a good example.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
And that's why we like to be like are we
a good example? I mean, honestly, you can say.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
If it's like, no, I mean I've been stalking, I'm
a good example. I mean, at the end of the day,
you know what I think it is too. I think
we all have been amongst couples that are miserable and
to be around, and you can just fucking see it,
smell it, and sense it and like, I don't want
your all those bitches. They only do is arguing jab
at each other. When you're around people who are genuinely
in love, there's joy, there's love. It's overfilling. Like me, Orlando,

(36:57):
all our friends hang out with us, they sleep over,
we check them in. Single friends, you know what I mean,
because we're genuinely in love and there's I always say
like we have a lot of love to give. You
know what I mean, our single friends, I've come over
here and get some of this love because this is
going to kindapult you into a relationship that is loving.

Speaker 4 (37:11):
And then even strangers, I could say honestly, weekly we
have somebody that goes, y'all look amazing to you, or
y'all look like you are really in love. We could
be not doing anything at all and people be like, yo,
I can feel like y'all love from over there. Somebody said,
like our love is just so intense they could feel
it across the room.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
So that's what I mean.

Speaker 4 (37:28):
If people are seeing a love that's working examples and
then for them theself, they can see where like there's
hesitation or their struggle and they come to us or
come to your program or just listen to this podcast
and we go. You know, you customize it, you design
it however you want, and you use the tools, yes,
in order to do that. Like and I realized that

(37:50):
that is something that helped us. So I'm like, yo,
it could discon Really the tools is what's really helpful.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Toolsful with our biggest piece and for me.

Speaker 5 (38:00):
And I don't know if this is for all women,
but I've heard a lot of women say that men
really don't know how to hold space for that emotion.
When I told y'all I had a temper tantrum, nobody
in that room knew how to face. They just either
were like bucked up or sorry. They were either bucked
up or they were sort of like, oh my god,

(38:20):
it's afraid. Nobody really honors that. So that was what
our first tool is about, up level communication. Here's the
book right here, if you want to see it, you
can put it. No up level because my husband wasn't
holding space for that, like after that and after they left,
he was so embarrassing.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
He and I got in a fight. He said, you
showed your motherfucking and he didn't even say that, he
just was raging internally that just bust out on me.
He's a Gemini, so he's not gonna say because he
seems like real calm and.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Oh oh same issues.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
Yeah, y'all know, y'all right, though, Gemini is like, I
don't care if I'm right. It's like I'm He's like, no,
I'm right, this is wrong.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
It's not.

Speaker 5 (39:11):
But the point was is that I really had to
And then my husband was not supportive of the up
level at first, even though.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
He helped me write the book. Really, but yeah, because
some men feel like they don't want to hold space
for a feminine emotion.

Speaker 5 (39:23):
It's too much, it's out of order. Anger is wrong,
sadness is wrong, complaining is wrong. Next week it's all
weak week. Oh they men think of that as weak.

Speaker 3 (39:33):
Yeah, that's not necessarily wrong.

Speaker 4 (39:34):
It's just like, these are situations that could put me
in a vulnerable position, and seeing as weak and the
man in this world, we need to be strong all
the time.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
We can come across as like, well that's y'all.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Like women though, yeah, like you. But I'm saying he didn't.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
Want me to have those emotions, Okay, Okay, he would
have to deal with them. That's where he would have
to deal with those things like you can, but keeping
to yourself.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Yes, that's what I'm saying, Like if I have to
hold space, now we have to open up and put
these emotions, these quote unquote week or wrong emotions in
a space where I now have to be in that
space to and deal with it if it's in your space, right.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
Right, right right. I was really hoping that that would
be the case.

Speaker 5 (40:18):
But even if I was there, he wouldn't want to approach,
deal with me, deal with any part of it.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
It's just too much.

Speaker 5 (40:25):
And so I had to write a system that supports
men in learning step by step how to deal with that.
And it's a system of safety for men and for
women and with using that, let me turn this off.
Using that is the only way that we have been
able to be polyamorous and stay together.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
And what made him finally just be like, you know what,
I need to utilize this this book that because you're
going to all women are going to be emotional, there's
going to be big feelings. So yes, it's either going
to be your feelings or somebody else. And so let
me just get down and get with it and.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
Quiet as men have feelings, well, bigger.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
Hand right here.

Speaker 5 (41:05):
Yes, so they have to also learn to deal with
because feminine and masculine is not really male and female.
Feminine is your subconscious everything you've been through, your memories,
your pain, yours, that's where that emotion is coming from.
Then masculine is your conscious mind, like how you you
know your habits, I'm driving, I'm not even you know.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
It's just masculine and feminine is not male and female.

Speaker 5 (41:27):
It's right brain, left brain, So you have both brains, right,
you have to learn both of those modalities and languages.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
Right.

Speaker 5 (41:34):
So that's what we did with this system, and it
really really helps my male clients and it helped my husband.

Speaker 4 (41:40):
I'm so happy you just said that right now, because
I haven't been able to figure out like how to
explain the masculine and feminine with we're saying that it
doesn't mean man or woman.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
But that was a great just like breakdown of that
right brain, left.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Brain, and even androgyny is corpus colossum, which connects and
makes those two talk. So we have we're androgynists, we're feeling.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
And we're feminine all we're all but see men like
I've got no feminine you don't have a right brain,
like how how do you well?

Speaker 2 (42:06):
But then when when you when you deny that part
of your brain, it shows why and I could tell
that you're in battling something that you're And.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
The more you deny that part of your brain as
a man, the more you're going to attract reflections of
people who have that side.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
But super wild because you are yours is wild.

Speaker 5 (42:25):
As fuck because you haven't even paid any attention to it.
What happens when you abuse an animal.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
It gets skitdish and scared and runs away and or gets.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
My sister had to put her dog down because you
just got it was biting everybody. That's how men's right
brain be. That's how their feminine side be, because it's
so neglected and so abused.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Well, because we're come from a society that tells them
that part of their brain is soft absolutely or or
weak or meek, and they're not supposed to show up
the way. You're not supposed to cry, man, not he's
not supposed to cry. You don't got no reason to cry, right,
and then you grow up not fucking crying. You have
no outlet to put the shit anywhere. And then you're
fucking raging at because you don't know, you don't know
where to put it. Yep, But it doesn't go anywhere
because it's just swept under and swept under until it's

(43:10):
a big, ouls fucking mountain undneath somebody's carpet, until.

Speaker 5 (43:13):
You And that's how I meet every one of my clients.
I'm talking about white, black, rich, poor. If they grew
up in the Western culture, that's where they are. That's
what Western culture has done to the right ring.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
They hate it.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
They hate emotion suppressed.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Because it's intuitive.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
They hate sex, they hate dancing, they hate singing, they
hate but they love people who do it, but they
hate them too.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Confusing.

Speaker 5 (43:37):
So this is what we're unraveling as a culture right now.
And I don't blame men, and I don't blame women.
I don't you know when I see the influencer, like.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
Yes, stay away for men, these center men men of
it or like women they this y'all got it wrong.
We're all suffering from the aces of living here for
this four hundred year study.

Speaker 4 (43:57):
And that's what I saw with my parents growing up
because my mom, what I was my mom was when
I would live with and I would always see here
being emotional besides show these range of emotions. But then
I'll get around my dad and I'm like, you ain't
have no fun either doing this dam stressed right, Yeah,
because that's because I'm oldest.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
Are four boys, and all of us have different mothers.

Speaker 4 (44:19):
So I would see how he would go about things
with my mom and then have to go home to
his wife.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
And then when my my third brother, when his mom
came around.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
And she was not as timid as my mom or
his wife, and I was like, oh, you're going through
it with this one.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
You're not having a good time. And so like, I
can just see how.

Speaker 4 (44:41):
When I was growing up that there had to be
something different than I needed to do because I'm I'm.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
Going to be fucked on either side.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
My women is going to be fucked, and then I'm
gonna be pissed and I'm gonna be fucked. So it
doesn't even make any sense to say that, oh, it's
my dad's fault or it's my mom's fault. It was
like everybody is fucking place right.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
Good. I'm glad you've noticed that.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Very key.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
You have to know it's a lot.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
Yeah, easy to blame one.

Speaker 2 (45:05):
Or the other.

Speaker 4 (45:06):
Yeah, and I got my voice really got suppressed a
lot when I was a kid, and it's like I
had to like I was never really given the chance
to express myself or express like how I felt. So
I became a really good listener and a really good observer,
and so through that, I was like, as soon as
I can talk to do my own thing. I know
it's exactly what I'm gonna do. And I would just

(45:26):
watch them just like tear each other up.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
Well, these are Indigo babies and Crystal babies. What year
were you all born?

Speaker 3 (45:32):
I was born in ninety one.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
Yeah, I'm eighty eight.

Speaker 5 (45:34):
Yeah, see I was born in seventy four. But I mean,
I think each generation has come in more well equipped
because this is over, right, This this mayhem and this
chaos is over.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
Yeah, it's dying. And if you're still holding onto it,
you're you're gonna see it really, Yeah, you're.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Really We're gonna see later right way out here.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
And they're doing shit different, baby molded.

Speaker 5 (45:55):
So that's what you know, This entire piece that we
do with our culture, with what we've built with our
marriage and then our children and everything that we're doing
is based on having lived experience of this and moving
through this for the past twenty years and step by
step seeing what we needed, building on the tools and
writing about it.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
Yeah, that's so, how do we overcome this blow up?

Speaker 4 (46:18):
I'm just really curious about it because we've had a
moment on me and Miela, We've had a moment where
we got into like a sexual encounter and she blew
up in the middle of it and aws in there.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
Like I said, we never speaking this sum and I'm
just kidding, why not, let's just bring it all out
on the table.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
But I just remember it not being.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
I'm like a doctor.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
No no, no, I I yeah, I did.

Speaker 3 (46:43):
I did, and I didn't hold space for her. So
it was just it's not interesting to hear that.

Speaker 5 (46:49):
Because, well, you couldn't hold space for her because she
didn't follow step one of my system, and that is
all of my couples seek consent to vent. There is
never a time that I'm going to walk into a
room and let my animal out in that room before
I ask I can be pissed as hell. I was
pissed as hell yesterday as something my husband did and
I asked him, can I vent?

Speaker 1 (47:10):
I am fucking pissed. Can I share this with you?

Speaker 2 (47:13):
And he has the right to say yes or no.
But when if he says no, when you're ready to
burst like.

Speaker 5 (47:17):
That, nobody has to listen to my to my ego
and my animal venting. He said no, call Noble.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
He was telling me to call my other ho. So
that's what I did. But I was like, that must
have taken a lot, baby.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Because I was like, fuck that.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
You know, that's why we have coaching.

Speaker 5 (47:37):
You have to practice that over and over again. Consent
is just important. As a me too movement, we're raping people.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Ears with that ship you are not allowed to with.

Speaker 5 (47:46):
That is not a safe environment. Me too, me too,
don't touch my teddy, don't talk. But meanwhile, you could
just do whatever you wanted. Somebody ear. It's not right,
and that's it's a woman. It's a feminine violation. And
that's why it's not punishable by law. Only the masculine
emotions are punishable, because that's all they really acknowledge is masculinity.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Right, But feminine energy is just as powerful.

Speaker 5 (48:10):
I could say some words to him and change the
pH of his blood right now, right and fuck him
up on the inside.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Right that hurts like getting punched in the figure, right,
but we don't go to jail for that.

Speaker 4 (48:20):
Right, right, And so this is why sometimes I try
to explain to me that, like, yo, when you're being
mean or you're being cold, that shit really hurts. But unfortunately,
when when I feel the grunt of that and then
I react, only my my wound is the one that shows, right,
that's not fair.

Speaker 5 (48:38):
But see, then you would also learn the steps because
step one will be asking her for consent.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
To vent, right, yeah, And and that is also something
that I've been doing. And after like I then finally
have my blow up, and then I finally feel at
peace and calm because I finally got it out because
when I was younger, I never got to speak. Finally,
every time I got to speak, your gut of goddamn
listen to me, and then I react and her mind
and then I'm sitting here like, yeah, I gotta find

(49:02):
a better way to go about this.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
That was the purpose of the hands, right.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
That's the first time that you've said, I guess I
have to find a better way to react.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
Now, the times before it was like all right, well
I gotta be I gotta do better, but now I
have like because I have a daily physical thing on
my arms. She's showing me like, Okay, this is your
reminder that this has to be the turning point.

Speaker 5 (49:25):
Yes, but really it's also it's gonna be on both
of you, guys, because you are reflecting each other. So
he's just showing you yourself and she's just showing you yourself,
so there's no separation. Once you all got the steps
in place, she would actually be able to give you
whatever types of soothings you asked for. I give my
clients seven soothings, so that anytime somebody vents right inside

(49:46):
of a safe container, you have to set.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Up the safe permission.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Yeah, permission is the first step of a safe container.

Speaker 5 (49:51):
There's several steps of setting up a really solid container
so that the other person won't be taking it personal.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
That's the purpose of the container.

Speaker 5 (49:59):
Okay, So once you set up your container and you
do vent, I would show her how to soothe you
down to a zero, and she would have only seven
soothings that you can ask.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
For to do that.

Speaker 5 (50:09):
Because it doesn't sound like you know, you all know
the basic first one, which is empathy.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Well, you know, you know what I realize even in
this conversation and just in our interactions just in general.
As I get older and I have, you know, inter
dynamic relationships with a lot of people, kids, friends, business partners,
It's like I noticed that when there's something happening that
I don't really agree with or don't like, I'm I'm
immediately my like I'm with drawing, yes, like my my,

(50:35):
in my head, I'm like, this is your stupid. I'm
building up my walls. I'm I don't want to touch you.
Like literally I can feel myself go cold. Yes, like.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Right, they're there. Yeah, it's just the concepts of concepts
of yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:52):
Like I can feel the like it starts to build
and the distance starts to happen. And I realized, like
when someone is saying something that I don't like or
that I'm not prepared to hear, or that I'm taking personally,
then I'm withdrawing, Like energetically, I'm in a different country base,
I'm not even here.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
And that's why we set up such a solid container, right, And.

Speaker 4 (51:13):
You know, I would say that we have our moments
where we can set up the space for each other,
where we could sitting each other, where we have like
our own little tools that we can go hey, if
if if we're holding hands and look at each.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
Other's eyes, we can have a much better conversation.

Speaker 4 (51:28):
It's just those times where the ship gets starts rolling
and then we just need to like a full stop
and then do this.

Speaker 5 (51:33):
Now, wait a minute, I think you guys are getting
the container wrong. The container is a cage for an animal.
I can set up a container and make it really
nice and sturdy and say thank you for setting this up.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 (51:48):
I can throw things, hit even in the soothing, can
be physical. I can ask for simulations. Can I punch
your chest? Can I fuck you up? And I can
you get on your knees and say your like tainers
are African?

Speaker 2 (52:01):
They're not.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
We not talk about it that on violent communicating fili.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
This is what I just want to hold your hands
and tell you that that is not re class.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
No, we don't play that game.

Speaker 5 (52:12):
We set up a space for the animal to rage
because because that is.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
That exists and all it exists. And the truth is
if we say like okay, then you're gonna get in
an argument and then you're gonna bring it down to zero.
Like that's not realistic. Because but I'm gonna just want
to beat your fucking eye because you've done to punch.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
My motherfucking cabinet.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
And I told you that I don't play about my ship, right,
and now I'm pitched.

Speaker 5 (52:32):
And all she would have to say before saying that
is about this, right, this is going to be at
a level which she would prepare the right type of content.

Speaker 4 (52:42):
Which I wouldn't even mind, because I'm so used to
being in a Jamaican household. I'm so used to like
the volume and the aggression and the assertiveness, which is
why when she like takes a step back and gets cold,
I get more assertive, like you build this, let me
climb over.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
You're acting us.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
And yelling on top of the wall.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
No, we need to you guys need to book your
first session with me.

Speaker 5 (53:03):
But when couples realize how good it feels to actually
be able to vent at a high level with their
partner and have their partner witness that and soothe them
and move to processing ownership and gratitude about the triggers,
it is life altering and it is deep intimacy.

Speaker 4 (53:21):
Right, And which is why I'm open to, like, I'm
open to us having the hard conversations of a conversations
even open to us like arguing and getting like the
emotion out, because once we get the high emotion out
and we've done all.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
The yelling, and then we're just looking at each other like,
so this is how I really feel you just you
just keep putting pressure on me, stressful enough.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
You keep asking me for help, and I don't think
you need that much help.

Speaker 3 (53:44):
It's like, but they I thought, then you're yelling and
everything in my hands all fucked. All I'm saying is
and so so that's what we can fly be like this.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
Was all dumb, right, and it wasn't dumb. It is
based on your childhood.

Speaker 5 (54:00):
This based on things like whenever I'm yelling at you,
actually I'm yelling at my daddy and my uncle yeah
molested me, bye bye bye, like I had.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
That's what the relationship is for. It is a vessel
to point that stuff out and bring into the surface
to be healed.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
But most of us don't even recognize that that is
what the relationship is like. That is the mirror of
the relationship to work through those things. So now you
have a safe space too, so instead we those emotions
come out, we don't know where they're where they where
they trail to, where they're rooted in, and so we
ignore that and then we're just like, fuck you, I'm done,
but I don't like you.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
And the beautiful part about all of this is I
love her and I want to be with her forever,
and we've been together like forever and multiple lifestyles lifetimes,
so it's like even after it all, it's like, I
do want to figure out and if I have no found,
I have no foundation or example. I do want to
figure out, like how we can get back to the

(54:53):
normalcy in our relationship. And that's that was always the
thing that we've always had, regardless of what has whatever happened,
we argue about this, discrete about whatever been happy about,
we've always found a way back to the normalcy in
our relationship and then it's always gotten easier to get
back to that good.

Speaker 3 (55:11):
So yeah, it's just fine tuning now.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
Yes, I mean, I think it is a matter of
putting things in place so that when blow ups happen,
because inevitably they will happen, that where where we're going
to go with this? How long is it going to last?
We're gonna do this for two days, like no, no, no, oh.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
See that's the thing.

Speaker 5 (55:27):
Now, when my couples do up level venting, this does
no longer a spinout. It does not take two days
of wasted time or two weeks or two months, no way,
because my couples are top performers, they're high achievers, and
they don't have We don't have time for that.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
I don't have time for that, right right, I can't.
I got five, six, seven, eight, ten men.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
I don't have time for that. Do you have ten men? Oh?

Speaker 1 (55:49):
Yeah, probably? I mean I don't even know how many
men I.

Speaker 7 (55:51):
Have, different and all the sty the same city, different cities,
different cities, but two in Houston, of course, y'all know
on from TLC.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
My husband, Carl and Tiger live with me in Houston.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
Oh they do.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
They both live with you, Yes they do.

Speaker 5 (56:05):
But Tiger right now is on hiatus because he had
to be with his other wife to help finish raised
in the seventeen year old.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Okay, do you find all of your husbands in a
poly community where they already know what it is? Or
do you find yourself meeting people out and then you're
explaining to them the dynamic.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
I don't really explain to anybody of the dynamic.

Speaker 5 (56:25):
Nobody really asks, like, I have a husband, and oh
you mean when I meet Oh okay, no, they already know.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
I send them videos. I'm my man. Have to be trained,
like there's no man getting with me. I just meet them.

Speaker 5 (56:37):
It's a one night stand. No, it's a process to
be one of my partners. It's a process to even
come to my bedroom, to my house. You know, you're
going to have to go through a series of understanding
so we can see where you are, because I really
don't have time for somebody who a doesn't want to
have either a have not learned.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Their way out of the system, or is not willing
to learn their.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
Way out, or doesn't even know something's wrong with the
system to beginning.

Speaker 5 (57:00):
Oh I wouldn't even meet that type of The people
I meet are like, you know, more along the lines
of my level, so they know it's something.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
But I've had men say well, I don't need no help,
I don't need this.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
Oh well it was.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
Nice meeting.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
Nice Okay.

Speaker 5 (57:18):
I mean I have access to infinite wealth, infinite men,
infinite possibility, everything.

Speaker 3 (57:24):
So everything else extra right now.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
Yes, I'm not prisk at all, Okay, this is fun.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
Yeah, I would be happy to work with you guys.
I would love to show how I teach you all
the system online sometimes.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
Yeah, have you ever I was thinking that, you know,
like the Christians and the Catholics they do pre marital counseling.
Have you done pre marital up leveling counseling for couples
who are going into marriage and not like maybe on
the already married side, or like now there's something wrong
and now they're seeking help.

Speaker 5 (57:56):
No, Unfortunately, the couples who come to me are about
to divorce or separate.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (58:01):
I work with couples married like ten to fifteen or
twenty years or more. Usually a lot come at year
thirty as well.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
I'm gonna say that this is such a good I
feel like this is this could be a game change
you're going in.

Speaker 5 (58:12):
But see the problem is people going into marriage have
a false narrative, so they don't know that they would need.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Something like that. We're not gonna beg a market of
people to be.

Speaker 5 (58:21):
Like, oh, you guys need this, Like okay, y'all don't
know you need it. You don't know what you're about
to get into. But with us who've been married twenty
thirty forty years.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
We know that we have fucked up in all these
places and it should have got help at the beginning.
But you couldn't tell us that. You wouldn't have been
able to tell me that when I got married.

Speaker 4 (58:39):
See this is I'm the tough person to be like, oh,
we need this beforehand because since shit, since I've just
seen how shit had just gone bad in relationships. Yes,
and it's gone bad multiple times of people still going
about like the same path. Yes, I was like, well,
let me switch it. Let me do the preventive things
in the beginning, and then we'll well.

Speaker 5 (59:00):
Maybe we kick off with you guys and show people
how it looks, and then maybe they might be interested.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
Yeah, maybe there'll be things that you could need to do.
I think it would be helpful for premarital divorce proof counseling,
because I do. I think I know that, like I
recognize that there's gonna be ship that comes up. I
recognize that time comes there. You know, shit comes with
routine and time and all those things. And like, I

(59:25):
don't want to ever divorce. I don't want ever.

Speaker 5 (59:27):
But the real importance of divorce proofing is that when
you're building an alliance with someone. You're gonna connect financially,
you're gonna connect spiritually, you're gonna connect.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
In a lot of ways.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
Business partners.

Speaker 5 (59:38):
Why do you That's where the black community talking about
generational wealth. You can't build generational anything if you're constantly
throwing people out and then.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
Start out disposing.

Speaker 5 (59:47):
You're disposing of humans and you really didn't dispose of
them because you're about to go meet.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
Condition.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
Because that's where you are, right.

Speaker 2 (59:57):
Right, the same struggle you you're ready to get somebody else, know,
you start from zero and have to face the same
issues at some point.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
And I feel like we were talking about this maybe
a day or two ago, when we were saying how
people people need to be like bee hundred percent within themselves,
Like people like are mixing things with themselves, are bringing
things from like their last relationship.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Oh, you're never going to be one hundred percent.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Well, I mean just like you need to work on
yourself first.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Awareness.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
Awareness, Yeah, that's what we're talk about.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
Actually, yes, about sol awareness, but that the perfection thing.
Perfection means I am constantly growing, right right, So you're
not coming like ooh, I'm put together, but I understand
what you're saying. You're saying be aware that you're here
for the purpose of growth for us, the relationship. The
purpose is growth.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
Yeah, and I want to sup as your friend, as
your lover, as your partner. I want to support you
in all the ways that that however that shows upright.

Speaker 3 (01:00:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:00:49):
But the support is you're going to trigger them right now.
Let's let's get this part straight.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Where we go?

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
I know, now, let's get one last.

Speaker 5 (01:00:58):
The support that they're going to offer you you is
that they specifically trigger your particular ship.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Because if I'm not going to grow unless I'm triggered,
You're not going to ever even know it's there.

Speaker 5 (01:01:09):
Until you get cancer or something. You won't know that
that thing is lodged in your thing.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
I'm reacting this way because this is something that I
have is unresolved, that stems from something that I haven't
even looked at, and the only way that I'm going
to even know that it exists is that I'm triggered
by this, and I have the opportunity and the tools
to say the thing, move through it, and see the thing,
to see the thing, to recognize it in there, and
then follow trace it back to rough and then go

(01:01:37):
from there. And I might have you triggered in that
same way several times, because that is just the way
life works. I think I read that somewhere. I was like,
I read somewhere in that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Probably an up level. But that's the support. That that
that he gives you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
That's the support, and I want that and I want
and I want to it's a.

Speaker 5 (01:01:52):
Double support if he can also hold space when you're
upset that he triggers you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
I'll be doing my thing home in space now. And
I also want to do this when we're in a
good space.

Speaker 4 (01:02:04):
I don't want it to be like near like near death,
where I'm just like okay, now, let's yeah, Like no,
I want to go when I'm healthy and I'm feeling
good and not gonna say like, yo, what can we
do better?

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
What can we find?

Speaker 4 (01:02:16):
That's what I mentioned fine too before, because I want
us to be in a great space or and in
a good space, happy space, and we're just aiming for
a happier that's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
Good.

Speaker 5 (01:02:25):
Well, you could tell your users about divorce Proof Club
and now that also show Oh well, I run a
club called divorce Proof Club, and that's where I take
couples who've been married ten years or more. The least
I'll take is five years. Who know they want to
be to tell us ever? Yeah, well I will do
you all as our first preventative Okay, yeah, that's a
whole different thing I feel.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
So you feel touched by that now I would love
to do preventative work.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
But the thing with the posts the couples that I
work with for Divorce Proof Club is they are wondering
and can they last after ten years? The romance has faded?

Speaker 5 (01:03:04):
You know, after fifteen years, twenty years, they're not Polly
yet most of them, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
They're like, do you feel like you have to be
Polly in order for the romance to last?

Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
No? No, it just depends on the person. Some people
can be sexually exclusive forever they have. Some people have
different sex drives. Some people are asexual.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:03:23):
I don't think it's whether you're monogamous or polyamorous or whatever.
It's that do you have the tools to if things
change talk about it right?

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
Right right?

Speaker 4 (01:03:32):
And things are going to I truly believe things are
going to change regardless. But like having, like you said,
all the tools to have the conversation, but some.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
People will fight him on that. They will say, mine
is never going to change. I'm not changing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
Like they don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
They haven't lived that a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
They change.

Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
Its changed like internally, even if we're consciously not trying
to like we're changing. I had this conversation when I
was doing the one on one with the talking to men,
and I was saying, we were talking about how one
of the men got married in his twenties, and and
that's the twenty is a time where you're constantly always changing,

(01:04:09):
like you find out the things that you like are
like so different. So he was saying that his wife
they got divorced not long after, and she was like, oh,
you changed, he was, and I was like, well, yeah,
you changed.

Speaker 3 (01:04:22):
Like what I like six months ago. It is not
the same in my twenties.

Speaker 4 (01:04:24):
It's not so like you really get further down the
line that you were, really like, sit into what you like.

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
I really wish I could have got my hands on
that couple, because what I do is change couples into communities,
like you must have community in order to survive marriage.

Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
Yoe, Yes, that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
I'm big on community too, even even whether you poll
or not. Yeah, I always said that, like I want
my I want I think I heard you say this
in video, like I want my man to treat all
my friends like like their woman, Like if I'm not
home like a Coorlando's home, yeah, like oh look.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Yeah, like I or for him to be able to
tell you go talk to Sam about that. It's fun.
Is a cute little almost newly wet.

Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
I'm so grateful.

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
Am I invited to the wedding?

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Absolutely international. We're going to go somewhere. It's gonna be
like a little retreat wedding.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
I'd love to have you there.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
You are.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
I appreciate weddings. You Yes, I do ceremony, That's why
you have to do premier and on counseling. I'm thinking
of it now.

Speaker 3 (01:05:29):
I want to let you know that you are very
wise and very intelligent, like she's so smart, he's got it.
Thank you, beautiful, thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:05:41):
One thing we do enjoy doing on this Beautiful Love
Cast is giving people the space to dedicate some love
to anybody that they were like. So, if you like
to take the time to dedicate some love or dedicate
anything to anybody that you like.

Speaker 5 (01:05:57):
At this moment, absolutely I will dedicate some love and graciousness.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
Where should I look at the camera. I will dedicate
some love.

Speaker 5 (01:06:04):
And graciousness to my husband Carl, who without him I
would not be a free woman. I mean, he really
did move step by step with me through a process
that was challenging. It challenged his ego as a man,
and he stood up in his higher self and his
highest power and became a guy right in front of
my face. And so I had no reason not to
become a godd that's right there with him. So I

(01:06:26):
dedicate love and sweetness and devotion and dedication and just
m to you.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Thank you for amen to the men that can really
hold the women and grow out of the ego and
just to be the sexiest. That's the sexiest. Shout out
to the man that respect women equal. Step one. That's
just one. Like if you respect your woman as an
equal and not as an object or servitude like a

(01:06:53):
seven what is it called a sex slave? A sex slave?

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
Just thank you for that. And I feel like it's
it's few and far between, which is unfortunate. And I'm
gonna say it's not fee and far between, it's abundant.
It just just have to make yourself seen. But yeah,
that's a big thing, and that's you know, I appreciate
you very much for the same thing, accepting me with
my titties out, accepting me with all my things that
I thought most men would not accept or love about me,

(01:07:16):
and not only accepting me but embracing me, encouraging me
and supporting those things. So that is like a huge,
huge I'm very grateful for you.

Speaker 3 (01:07:27):
Thank you. Going to take a little breath and meal
for that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:29):
Yeahlet's take a deep breath and moan on the outside.

Speaker 3 (01:07:37):
Wonderful. Would you like to share where people can find
you or get these courses or things like that.

Speaker 5 (01:07:43):
Absolutely, you can find everything I just talked about at
Progressivelove Academy dot com. Or if you want to check
on my app, you go aheading to the Apple Store
or Google Play Store and download meta more the app.
You can also find me on Instagram, Progressive Love Academy, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
Okay, me and more at get My Stuff Together.

Speaker 3 (01:08:05):
If you want to listen to the lovecasts, you can
listen everywhere. This is love like this.

Speaker 4 (01:08:08):
Go to our YouTube and watch us because we are
pretty entertaining. Great great, great visual.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
If you guys haven't seen yet we're having a couple's
retreat in Costa Rica June fourteenth through the twentieth. It's
going to be sexy, it's going to be fun. We're
gonna have a lot of activities. It's going to be
doing adventures. We're going to be in the warm, humid
jungle and you don't want to miss it. So check
out the links in this episode description and of course

(01:08:38):
leave a comment if you love it and support.

Speaker 3 (01:08:42):
Black Live Yeah, and go follow the good Vibratree on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
Love y'all, love you ye

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Like this

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