May 24, 2025 • 39 mins
Late night confessions and real relationship talk on this raw and revealing episode of Love Like This. Orlando drops a heartfelt apology after a heated moment turns into a trip to the ER and a broken cabinet. From the pressures of job hunting and financial stress to navigating anger, expectations, and unhealed trauma, Orlando and Milah unpack what happens when life piles on but also shares how pre-marital coaching is helping them slow down, unpack triggers, and rebuild trust.
Tap in. This one’s honest, heavy, and healing. New episode streaming now on all platforms.
Social:@Milah_Mapp @Wh_orlandoroye @Hoochiemomanddad
Come to our Couples Retreat: Couples Retreat
Watch here: Youtube
Patreon: Patreon.com/LoveLikeThis
Tap in. This one’s honest, heavy, and healing. New episode streaming now on all platforms.
Social:@Milah_Mapp @Wh_orlandoroye @Hoochiemomanddad
Come to our Couples Retreat: Couples Retreat
Watch here: Youtube
Patreon: Patreon.com/LoveLikeThis
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Lah like this, Ah, make it more angle. Are you
gonna start?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I gotta start over.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
You don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
I'm trying to reset the peace in this place. Obviously
you need to because you don't know how to do
things about disturbing and put your nipple away. Good evening, everybody,
(01:07):
Welcome back to another beautiful episode of Love Like This.
It's me, the one and only your wonderful host or
Land dear Roy, and sit it right next to me.
Is my fiance hold my hand baby in peaceful manners,
deep breath of the podcast. The one and only the
(01:27):
most beautiful woman in the world, Jamila matt Roy.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Hello, my love.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Hello?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Did you like that beautiful, intimate, sensual start of the episode?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So wonderful?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
We definitely don't start this these episodes bickering at all.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Definitely not.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Welcome back. What's going on?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
We're having some mom good episodes this month. I really,
I really enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Have you been peeping the titles.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
For the episodes this month now, don't you tell them
to me?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The first one was The Pily Profession, you know, and
then with Kenya Stevens. The second one was The Play
Professional with Michael Hollis.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Then the third one because we was partier. But you
make a baby led by.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Your boy, the party, professional party professional now you're now
you're getting it.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Now you're getting it.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
So yeah, it's been a very it's been a great
month full of professionalisms, professionalisms. Yeah, professional episodes because you know,
we're professional podcasters. We have professional podcasters, because we have
professional talkers. So yeah, now I've I've been enjoying this
month's theme, in this month's these these months episodes and
(02:40):
stuff like that, and I'm happy that, you know, we
get to talk to some cool people and talk to
each other. It feels like, you know, the the the
original way of podcasting, you know, just one other person
us to boom bampas.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
What do you mean the original? What is the form now?
What's the format?
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I feel like there's so many different ways of podcast
now people are doing and stuff and stuff like that,
but like what, you know, just simple simple podcasting, simple conversations,
not gimmicks and stuff like that. No people thinking that
they're professional journals, journalisms, journalists that have never been to
college for sure, like that, and you know, doing too much,
just straight up getting to know each other and talking
and the people that we had conversations with have like
(03:19):
I feel like they've been integrated into our lives. Far
as Kenya and Michael, so we're like, you know, we're cool,
We're cool, we're friends, and like we hang out in
spaces other than just like coming to podcasts, like we
are now enrolled in Kenya Stevens Love Academy, which we're
gonna get back to that in a second, and then
(03:40):
we've been hanging out with Michael. Michael was even here
in the studio yesterday getting some work done for another
podcast that he was doing.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So it just feels like.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Other than just like calling people up and just like, hey,
come on our podcast and talking about them, we've had
like genuine conversations or getting conversations and had these people
like we usually do, to integrate into our lives just
organically as friends.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Yeah, that's the goal when you create. I mean, I
think a lot of people are creating podcasts because they want,
I don't know, to go virable or to make money,
which is crazy.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
This is absolutely not what this is.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
This is not what happens as synergy write up started podcast.
But if you're doing it for the right reasons, you
will create community and find people that are like minded.
And I think that's been the beauty of us doing this,
And I mean also just to I mean for us,
I think it's going to be an interesting to go
back years from now and have a love journal that
(04:39):
kind of walks us through periods of our relationship, you know,
pre engagement, post engagement, marriage and kids, and we'll just
have you know this to good look back on.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
So yeah, And I've always felt like that was a
strong reason why I've started podcasting, not only because I
thought my stories were much better than all the other
podcasters that so I don't really concerner myself a podcaster
because I don't think podcasts are really interesting. I think
that I'm more interesting and I just like to tell
my stories and experiences, but also to start up community.
(05:16):
When I was podcasting in New York, it was a
lot about starting up a community of people of people,
but specifically men that wanted to understand a different perspective
about their own sexual sexual experiences and love and accountability
and all those things. And now we get to set
(05:38):
up a community of people that want to have a
love like this.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And also want to be just in a community of love.
Oh you know, we call it if you don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
You people that's listening and watching through the airways, you're
the lovers. Our community is called a community of lovers.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You just you just made it up right now.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I think it just makes sense, got it?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Yeah, So you know, for for us and the lovers
to just be all in one and just you know,
and be englfed in this experience.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
You're a storyteller.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I am a story experiencer.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I don't know how great to give me the story experiencer.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
My life is a story itself, like things.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Just that's you telling your own experience, isn't that?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Okay? Well? Can I can? I can I come up
with words and stuff that sound cool?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Okay, great?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Well the reason why I said was que unquote story smith.
But yes, I am a storyteller. But I don't really
have to work hard for the story to.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Come to me.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Like I just walk outside, go places, meet people, and
there's always some kind of like crazy story that pops
up in something to tell you say yes. I do
say yes to the experience.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
And that's what usually brings experiences when you're open and
saying yes to new experiences. I feel like the universe
is robust and gives you like stories to tell and
have experiences because once you say yes to one thing,
you say yes to something else, say yes to something else,
and then you today you're having a pleasure filled, fun,
juicy life.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I do have a pleasure feel, fun, juicy life. That
is true. But we are here because and.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
I want to. I want to do this on air
more so than just tell it to you in person.
I want to say that, drum roll, please, I apologize.
I apologize to you for losing my temper and hurting
(07:45):
myself and physically and putting us in a position that
was detrimental to us because it risks some important things
happening in our lives that that we need it at
the moment. So for those that do not know, I'm
not wearing it right now. But if you've been watching
(08:07):
prior episodes on YouTube, which you should go on YouTube,
go to YouTube dot com, type in love like this
or the Love Like This and subscribe. Suscribe to our
YouTube page because it's very fun and very sexy over there.
And also even last week we did an episode where
I included the pictures and videos of our experience in
Jamaica for Jamaica Carnival and how much fun that was
(08:30):
and that whole story wasn't it was great in itself.
Me and my wonderful fiance over here told the amazing
story about how she did her first four to twenty
Jamaica retreat and then we drove from Antigo Beta Kingston
and with our two friends.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
That had an epic time. So go over to YouTube
and check that out. It was great. So if you've
been checking, if you've been watching on.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
YouTube, what you would have seen that I've been wearing
a cast for some time. I had to take it
off because I had to do some things I had
to had to get this job, so I had to
get that cast off just along get past the physical
examination of my job. But I want to apologize because
(09:14):
the reason why I got in that cast is because
I lost my temper and I punched my cabinet. Me
and Mila got into it because I asked her for
her help. And how dare I ask a queen, a
beautiful princess, that the matriarch of our family to even
lift a finger to assist me?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Am I a man or not? Like?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Why would I ever ask a woman to assist me
in anything to get up and do it myself. And
if I can't do it myself, I just need to
struggle through it. I at least my words maybe definitely
not your words. No no, no, no, no, definitely not your words.
But within this argument, not only was I I was
partially frustrated because I asked her help and I was
(09:58):
denied by this beautiful queen right here. I also didn't
want to argue. And there's just this weird point of
just like arguing but trying not to argue. But all
your words come out sounding like an argument. Isn't that
so crazy? But it sounded like an argument, and I
(10:21):
wanted to just I didn't want to hit something, but
I wanted to bang on something. It's like this, It's
like just a loud sound that would like just bring
everything to a complete stop.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
That was the mindset behind me.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Oh okay, you thought you were a human alarm?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yeah yeah, But it was more so just a bang
on something. And it really wasn't the argument. I feel
like I've told you this before that it really wasn't argument.
It was just a frustration of life. And you know what,
let's go into that. The frustration of life right and
what I've been going through that's been so frustrating. So
it all starts on my birthday, February twenty February tenth,
(11:02):
twenty twenty five. Are you listening to me storytelling my
experiences right now?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Right? I was having any amazing birthday.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I spent my whole birthday by myself from beginning to end.
I went to a spa, I went to a dinner.
I just chilled out, which is what I wanted because
you know, shit's been stressful.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I've never had to look for a job before.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Who go to dinner?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I forget.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I never had to look for a job before because
I started my career at eighteen years old and it
got the pathway was set for me because I was
very good. I went to a vocation in high school.
I was very good at my electrical class. They recommended
me for something everything that I've ever need and I got.
I went straight into the MTA New York City Transit
(11:50):
in New York after that for my promotion that I
just need to go ahead and apply because I was
already qualified based on you know, my skills and stuff
like that, having electrical installation UH degree through high school.
So I'm kind of like an electrician by trade. I
can even go into that easily if I want to.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
But moving out to LA and no longer working for
the m t A, I've had to really understand life
as how everybody else understands life. With trying to find
a job, with trying to maneuver through life and finances.
We're trying to, like, you know, pick and choose which
what to prioritize and what's not that important anymore in life, right,
(12:38):
And so moving out here and those challenges for the
last two and a half to three years now was
was a struggle and a challenge. But you know, your
boy is strong. So I've been making it through.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
You live here for three years now.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
It's yes, coming up, uh yeah, June, June. June's gonna
make three years.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
So I got a call back on February time saying
that I got accepted for this job. It will be
a remote video editing job and something like that.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
That was on your birthday, right.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
That was on my birthday, little fuckers. So I started
my birthday thinking that I had this job. At this
call back from this company, I got this job. Baby,
It's a great fucking birthday already, like whoa.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Now.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
The thing about this why it was so detrimental to
me was because I felt I was over also overcoming
a very long depression. But I felt all the worries
and everything leave my body.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I felt so at ease. I felt so much better.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
And then about a week after I came to find
out that the job posting was a scam.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
And that.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Brought back all the stress and pressure. Now, the thing
about depression is it's and stress. It's one thing to
like be in it and not even realize. I don't
know if you ever experienced depression before, but it's like
when you're out of depression and you're.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Like, whoa, my room is dirty.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
I haven't been keeping up with myself, Like you start
noticing things that you didn't notice before because you're just
in it.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Now.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
When I felt that shit leave my body, that depression
leave my body and then come back because I found
about found out it was a job scam, I then
felt the weight of it, the actual weight of the depression,
like on my mind. So for me it was one
thing to just be going through it and just know
I might be sad or might be down or whatever.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
But it is.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Another thing to actually know how heavy it's been. It's
been weighing on me. So not only that I had
somebody in my life who I thought was my friend,
who I thought was both a friend to both me
and Mila. I did some production, podcast product and work
for them, and they refuse to pay my last invoice.
(15:04):
They decided they don't long want to continue podcasting anymore
because you know, everybody think they're gonna make money off podcasting.
They refuse to pay my last invoice, and then upon refusal,
they also wanted me to continue to do more work
for them without them ever paying my last invoice. And
the work that they wanted me to do had nothing
(15:26):
to do with the invoice that they need to pay me.
So it was a sense of betrayal, and it was
a sense of just feeling like they were treating me
in a manner that I didn't deserve. And on top
of that, this is about my money, so I don't
understand why we're even playing this game when it comes
(15:47):
to my payment. So those two things and the reason
why and the reason why that thing really weighed on
members because of how importantly I take my friendships and
how importantly, we take our friendships and how we treat
people with genuineness and organicness and.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Just kindness so they they them, not them.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Refusing to pay my invoice and paying the money that
I feel like that I not I feel like, but
that I deserve that I worked for was also frustrating.
Now fast forward back to this night where I'm arguing
with me. I'm feeling the weight of these things like daily,
the stresses of these things daily, which I didn't want
to argue with my girl because I'm already fucking stressed
(16:34):
out about other things that she's not stressing me out,
so I don't need us arguing about things to add
on to the stress because I'm not stressed out when
it comes to her and she makes me feel better.
And we were having a great fucking day. I went
to bang on something to just cause a loud noise
to just stop on, stop this this whatever the fuck
we were doing, this bickering, this high bickering that we were doing,
and I misjudged the distance of my kitchen cabinet. Within
(16:59):
that misjudged just misjudgment of my kitchen cabinet. I also
misjudged how strong I am. I've been in the gym.
Stop smoking. I have been you know, getting getting getting
back well, not getting back healthy.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I'm ready pretty healthy, but I was getting back to.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Like the strength that I that I usually have, and
I swung on my kitchen cabinet. My kitchen cabinet didn't
punch back, but I one undred percent lost that fight.
I ended up with a boxer fracture and a dislocated pinky.
So the knuckle of my pinky was had a handline
(17:40):
fracture and it's dislocated where my pinky is now underneath
the knuckle.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I'm not wearing my cast right now.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
It has been over six weeks and I can feel
that it's healed, but I do need to see an
orthopedic surgeon because the dislocation is still there now.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
The reason why this is so detrimental is because you
a little belly. Oh I don't even have a belly,
it's just the angle that's so funny.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
The reason why this is so detrimental is because I've
been going for a job, a job where I need
to use what my fucking hands, and just getting out
of this financial rut and getting into a better place
and knowing how punching my cabinet and fracturing my my
(18:30):
pinky finger could have really derailed all of this was
very scary in thought, but this is why I wanted
to apologize for losing my cool and hurting myself, which
essentially can hurt us in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
And then it also showed.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Me how important I am to this relationship because anything
that happens to me is could be very detrimental to
us both. I've be't holding that and to like really
like express that to you for a while, but that's
what's been what's been going on with me, and how
(19:09):
and how frustrating dealing with all of that has been.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Any response, thank.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
You for your apology. Appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
I'm you know, I'm not a fan of damaging anything
in my house. I'm not a fan of physical, physical
expressions of anger that are Yeah, I'm not a fan.
I've been in situations where I've been hit, and I
just don't really fuck with getting so frustrated or anger
that you're hitting anything. I mean, definitely not me, but
(19:44):
just in general, to me, that's a silent like the
indication of violence. And I know you're frustrated and mad,
but I also take great pride in my household, in
my house, and now we have a broken fucking cabinet
that I don't know how it was going to be
replaced because I don't know how to place the cabinet,
plus through that weird lavender color, because I don't know
what the fuck the landlord was thinking when she painted
(20:06):
the whole kitchen lilac. So even if it is replaced,
where the fuck we're going to find that lightlac gass
paint that she kind of been made all the cabinets anyway. Yeah,
I think that you might have to find a different
outlet for your anger, or your frustrations or your stress.
(20:26):
And I'm happy that. I mean, in the moment, I
was really fucking irritated. I did say that you asked
for help a lot, and for more contexts, he was
making dinner. He had put taking some of the groceries out.
We had just gotten groceries, and he'd been in there
for a kind of a second, and I sat on
the couch because he was about to cook, and then
he said, can you put this?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Can you put the groceries away?
Speaker 4 (20:48):
And I was like, just finish it, because I'm I'm
conditioned to just do not to half ass anything.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
That's no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Don't interrupt me.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Don't interrupt me, please intergect.
Speaker 4 (21:03):
I grew up in a household where I heard while
you're half assing, don't half ass a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Half assed was.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
A token coin slogan in my household, and I I.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Don't want to interject, but can I ask a question
real quick? No, no, it's not an interject. I just want
to ask a question. Do you think growing up in
your household, your parents telling you that was like even
healthy or something that you should hold onto.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
I never thought looked at it as a negative thing.
I didn't think of it as anything. I actually support
the notion of not half asking anything.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
The reason why I asked is because this just sounds
like parents just wanting you to not bother them with anything.
Because living and living in this world, what I've come
to learn is that we all need help. We all
need assistance in some type of way, and we all
need community in some type of way, and nobody gets
(21:55):
one thing done by themselves. And I realized that the
black sperience of film like you Need to Do Everything
has been very detrimental to us, which is why That's
why I asked, like, do you even think like that's
a helpful like notion to have, because I've seen that
not help anybody at all feeling like they need to
(22:16):
do everything or they need to like this, this notion
of like half assing.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
I mean, I think I half as to just like
do it one hundred percent, Like if you're going to
do it, do it good.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, but that's that's not the same thing as half assing.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Well, anyway, he didn't put the ice cream away. He
specifically was waiting for me to do. He's like, can
you put some of the groceries away? And it's like
in my mind, I'm like, it's we have maybe three
bags of groceries. You put half of the shit away. Specifically,
why wouldn't you have just thrown the frozen things in the.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Freezer or whatever?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
And I was just like, I feel like you asked
for help a lot, and this is something I'd mean,
maybe it's just a me thing because of the way
I was grown up, but like he'll asked me to
come two flights of stairs downstairs to the garage to
help them with grocery bags. I'll it down there. It's
like one extra bag. He needs me to get and
I'm like, you could have literally got this last bag.
But whatever, I understand, like into in your perspective, it
(23:09):
makes you feel like I'm not a team player, but
I mean I feel like I am, and I feel
like when I do something, I'll just do the whole
thing instead of like breaking it up. And I think
I chose the wrong time to say that because I
think we had just gotten off an argument. Like the
day before we had argued, and I mean, we don't
genuinely genuinely argue often, but I think for whatever reason
(23:30):
that I can if I remember the argument was about
initially before this was drew out.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
For like a whole day.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
And I think when you're always generally in a good
like a good energy with your partner, when you're not,
it's very clear, you know, like in our household, if
someone's angry like lunas, immediately like.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
What's up with you? So, uh, that was just my mind.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
And yeah, so after the punching of the fucking cabinet,
I was extremely irritated. It was really hard for me
to have any compassion even though it was yelling. And
then at eleven PM, as we were supposed to be
eating dinner. Instead of eating dinner, we had to go
to the emergency room, which is something also I hate,
(24:14):
because who the fuck wants to be at the hospital.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I hate hospitals. I definitely want to go late night.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Nobody has insurance up in here, so we're going to
definitely be last to be called on the fucking and
you don't know if you guys have been to the hospitals,
but if you ain't got insurance, they're not prioritizing your emergency.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
And I was just mad as hell. I had to
drive him then he had this cast. He's right.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
I was just considering, like, you have this interview coming up,
They're going to see that you have this fucking fractured finger.
It's going to affect your employment that you've been stressed
out about. And it just really pissed me off. Not
to mention there have been other things in the house
that have been broken by Orlando's anger and frustrations, and
so I feel, and I've expressed this to you, that
(24:59):
like maybe there's a need for anger management, maybe there's
a need for meditation, just something to have an outlet
to obviously channel your anger and frustrations, whether it be
because just things outside of our household, or just me,
or whatever the circumstances are. But I mean, you've been
(25:21):
wearing you had to wear the cast for six weeks.
You thought you were gonna get it off in New York,
you did, you couldn't get it off. I know you're
frustrated about that. You came to Jamaica. You couldn't swim
really because you couldn't get it wet. So it's just
been an ongoing And then he had to come back
from Jamaica and then do a physical interview in which
I threatened his life and said you better cut that
(25:41):
shit off and figure it out, and he did and
had to go through an entire physical agility interview with
a bud Endurance looking.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
For whatever to He had to do it without the cast.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
And so it's been six weeks of I'm sure nothing
pleasant that you've had to experience, because who the fuck
wants to wear a cast in this climate for that long.
So I hope that this, of all things, learn lesson.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's been a learning lesson.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
So in the future, when you get that angry, you
find other ways in outlets to express however you feel
towards me or just express yourself because breaking shit and
damaging shit in our household is not an option and
it doesn't do shit except fuck up the things that
we pay for a lot of money and expensive ass
(26:38):
la and also damage your own self. And now you're
in this position where you have to fight a fucking
orthopaedic whatever and do all these things to make sure
that you're in you know, you need.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Your hands of all things.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
So that was an issue that we had, I guess
six weeks ago, semi recently, and it just went too
far for like absolutely no reason other than fucking put
the ice cream away, which seems like, you know, the
slogan don't cry over spilt milk. Yeah, it seems like
(27:11):
there are just like a the the cause and effect
Domino really got far away for something that was pretty minor.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
And pretty stupid. And yeah, I was not being.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I could be very emotionless when I don't really care,
and I was pissed.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
And so we've gotten past that.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Yeah, and I'm glad that you apologize, and I apologize
for saying you ask for help a lot. I maybe
could have found a better way to express that, but
I just didn't know any other words. And maybe a
different timing, but that'll come.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
With the motional intelligence. Baby, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
I have emotional intelligence right.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Right, right right.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Something you couldn't find, couldn't intelligently find the word that
you need it?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
What are you talking about? The word I needed for
what you said?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
You couldn't find the proper words. No, it's not my said,
you know it is recorded, right.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
What do you mean? I couldn't find the proper words for.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
What you said. You could have found better words to
express That's.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Not emotional intelligence, that's communication.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
I do.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
I did feel that way. I wasn't lying.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
I felt like there's certain things that you asked for
help that you could actually do, but you'd rather help you.
And I said I could have chosen better words to
express that.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I didn't say. I didn't mean what I said what
I said.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Listen, I'm just happy that we know that we're not
a half ass, half assed family. Because there's definitely laundry
in the closet that's that you folded but didn't put away,
because you know you don't half ass.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
I did it because I watched it. I haven't had.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Time, Okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
I'm a busy woman, you know, don't have there's three
people people who live in the house.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well, you don't have ast bit.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
I'm just telling you. It was the laundry in the
closet that's folded that I washed. Is not me.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
You didn't watch that I washed that.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
You did not I washed it.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Okay, fine, well you washed it. Don't half ascet you
watch it, you folded, now you put it away, don't
half ass mab.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
The point is it was not melting closing. No closet
is not melting, and no one is. There's no emergency.
No one's gonna die for clean logy.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Sorry, guys, One thing I say about you, you you
won't even if you don't finish it.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
You won't ask for help to finish it.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
You'll just let it sit there until you just to
finish it because you know you don't have aast.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
No, I just I also know that everybody in the
house has eyes, and you've actually recognized that there's a
laundry in the closet, and you also have not put
it away.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Well, I know that I know that we're not a
half fast household. So I don't want to interrupt your
half astness.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Except for except when it comes to you and you
want to put one bag of groceries away for me
to put one.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
To learn I've come to learned.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Or I'll be like, I'm like, we take the lot
to school. He'll be like, yeah, but you make the lunch.
I'm like, I'd rather just I'd rather just take her
to school if you're if you stay sleep, I'm gonna
make the lunch and take her. But if I stay sleep,
you want me to get up and make lunch while
you take her. I'm like, we might as well knock
things off completely.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
Ticket come to learn that we're not a half fast family.
So nobody in this house ask for help. Everybody just starts.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I didn't say, don't ask for help.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
I just said, just if you are capable complete the
whole task in.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Ninety If in your opinion, everybody's capable, then they need
to do what, in your opinion you think they should do,
and don't ask for help.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I understand.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Anyway, is that the point of this part of this conversation, Well,
what has been a great help and a beautiful insertion
into our life was that we are now a part
of the Agressive Love Academy. As Kenya Stevens.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
First ever couple to do pre marital coaching, divorce proof
coaching and not already married divorce proof.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Right right, and it was it was such a beautiful
I don't know connection and how it came together and
at the timing that it came in our lives. We
were always open to coaching and pre marital coaching and counseling.
We've been just in the flow of me trying to
find the job. Which now that I'm trying to find
the job, your boy has four jobs. Now now I
(31:35):
went from having one job trying to find another job.
Now I got four fucking jobs. So I'm overly happy.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Now come to one hundred, real quick, real quick.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
So we are now enrolled in pre marital coaching, which
is so beautiful because why wait until you get to
a point where you're close to divorce and then find
out find somebody to help you out.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Let's do it way in the gaining way way. Way.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
We don't have any fires. Now we're trying to put
fires out right.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
I'm a big believer in attending coaching, attending counseling, and
attending therapy when you're in a good space in your life,
not when you're in the negative but when you're in
when when is a problem, when there's a problem, don't do.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
A post problem, do the do the work it requires before.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Right, And that is one way of making sure you
never go down the road.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
What is it maintenance now?
Speaker 4 (32:32):
Main maintenance not fixing, not like healing, like maintainance. So
it doesn't there isn't an issue versus when there's an issue,
having to patch up the wound.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
And it we've been in this that third week now,
it is that third week now, But I will tell
you that the first two weeks have been phenomenal and
groundbreaking and clear, clear and beautiful because even times where
I feel I might be getting frustrated or irritator and
stuff like that, all I can hear is like the
(33:08):
coaching that we've had and the steps that she wants
us to do, and the venting, the venting space that
she wants us to create, all the things that she's
been teaching in just like these two weeks. And it's
been it's only been two weeks, but it's been a
very impactful two weeks and it's been great.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
It has It's been like a lesson how to communicate
when things are not easy to communicate and how to
hear each other and how to let your feelings be
expressed and how to hold space for the other person.
And I think a lot of us haven't been really
given the gift of communication in a way that is effective.
(33:50):
So it's been really nice to kind of sit in
with other couples that I've been married and have been
together for a long time, and also like gain these
tools and these communication tools that obviously like were great,
but we lack or else we'd have better ways to
express ourselves other than hitting things.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
So yeah, shout out to Kenya.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Oh, and then even after we do so, we have
a group session that we have to do once a
week every Thursday, And after those group sessions, we do
a live.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
YouTube one on one with key with.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Kenya and it's it's it's all just been phenomenal. I
think that we've accessed like the cheat code by being
the first pre marital coaching couple that she's ever done.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Shout out to the Progressive Love Academy.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Shout out to the Progressive Love Academy, and shout out
to Kenya Stevens.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
You guys have to go look at her YouTube. They're
recorded there.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
And you see her coaching us, and you see, you'll
see it, and it stays up there. And after every course,
Orlando and I go one on one live with her
on YouTube so that you can kind of see the
one on one aspect of it too. It's a pretty
small group anyway, but like it's really nice to just
actively see your for correcting us and see us learn
(35:03):
this new form of communication in real time.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Yeah, yeah, it's been beautiful.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I every time we peek in our relationship or where
where or we're at this high point, I always think
to myself, I know this is about to get better,
and I can't wait to see where how it gets better.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
And we are.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Definitely at a new high right now, and I can't
wait to see what the next high and the next
level up is going to be for us. But yeah,
thank you, thank you from thank you for sticking through
and being there, and us holding true to ourselves and
always wanted to work and be better and always communicating
and me having emotional intelligence and you having some intelligence
(35:46):
and something and you know, try to find your words
best as you can.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Even if you don't like people to ask you for help,
I still love you.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
I love you too, even if you break it in
my house because you're frustrated and you're not thinking about
how am I gonna How is this help anything except
hurt the home that we pay for and work hard for.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Yeah, but we truly, truly, we've we've become way better.
And I can even when I, like I said before,
when I get frustrated, I can hear the teachings that
and the coaching that she's given us. So I don't
even feel myself go down the road of this frustration
of when I want to, you know, hurt or hurt
(36:31):
something else. So but yeah, I love you, Babby, and
I can't wait for us to complete this twelve week
couple's course. And I love doing things with you. You
are definitely my one and only and favorite lover.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
I'm enjoying doing this class with you too, And I
know we're about to go to Costa Rican to this
couple's retreat, which I think is going to be really fun.
So it's nice to work together on our relationship and
on outside projects and on this. So it's a learning.
You know, relationships are learning in every capacity, whether it
be professional or romantic, and it requires that you'd be
(37:08):
willing to grow and to learn. And that's I mean,
it's sometimes difficult, and it's also beautiful when you can
reach those level of expansion with somebody that you love.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yeah, deep breath.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Some Mela mones.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
I love when me trying to do mel.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
You too can take this home with you and do
a little strong, deep inhale and release with sounds. You know,
it doesn't have to be solely mones are only not
only for the bedroom, but love the energy and.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
If you want to do some moans and more.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
My beautiful wife to be over hair is a certified
tantric petitioner and sexologists, so you know, hit her up,
hit her line, get some one on ones going. My
beautiful wife to be takes one on ones. She'll help
(38:14):
guide you through a bunch of things. Wait, I want
to see if I can guess them all, Like you know,
things like trauma right, things like any issues you're going
through with family, friends, financial. There is always a way
for you to breathe, different modalities, ways to move your body,
all the basic things to help you heal. And I
(38:35):
emphasize basically because healing is not a complicated or complex
thing to go through. The world has made us feel
like you have to you have to do all this
grandiose type of things just to find some type of healing.
And healing is always simple. You never should have to
go through leaps and bounds and hoops and jungles just
(38:56):
to heal yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
We're all self healing.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Mm hmmm. We love y'all and I love you baby
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Bye Lah Like this
Lah like this, Ah, make it more angle. Are you
gonna start?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I gotta start over.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
You don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
I'm trying to reset the peace in this place. Obviously
you need to because you don't know how to do
things about disturbing and put your nipple away. Good evening, everybody,
(01:07):
Welcome back to another beautiful episode of Love Like This.
It's me, the one and only your wonderful host or
Land dear Roy, and sit it right next to me.
Is my fiance hold my hand baby in peaceful manners,
deep breath of the podcast. The one and only the
(01:27):
most beautiful woman in the world, Jamila matt Roy.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Hello, my love.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Hello?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Did you like that beautiful, intimate, sensual start of the episode?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So wonderful?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
We definitely don't start this these episodes bickering at all.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Definitely not.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Welcome back. What's going on?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
We're having some mom good episodes this month. I really,
I really enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Have you been peeping the titles.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
For the episodes this month now, don't you tell them
to me?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The first one was The Pily Profession, you know, and
then with Kenya Stevens. The second one was The Play
Professional with Michael Hollis.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Then the third one because we was partier. But you
make a baby led by.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Your boy, the party, professional party professional now you're now
you're getting it.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Now you're getting it.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
So yeah, it's been a very it's been a great
month full of professionalisms, professionalisms. Yeah, professional episodes because you know,
we're professional podcasters. We have professional podcasters, because we have
professional talkers. So yeah, now I've I've been enjoying this
month's theme, in this month's these these months episodes and
(02:40):
stuff like that, and I'm happy that, you know, we
get to talk to some cool people and talk to
each other. It feels like, you know, the the the
original way of podcasting, you know, just one other person
us to boom bampas.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
What do you mean the original? What is the form now?
What's the format?
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I feel like there's so many different ways of podcast
now people are doing and stuff and stuff like that,
but like what, you know, just simple simple podcasting, simple conversations,
not gimmicks and stuff like that. No people thinking that
they're professional journals, journalisms, journalists that have never been to
college for sure, like that, and you know, doing too much,
just straight up getting to know each other and talking
and the people that we had conversations with have like
(03:19):
I feel like they've been integrated into our lives. Far
as Kenya and Michael, so we're like, you know, we're cool,
We're cool, we're friends, and like we hang out in
spaces other than just like coming to podcasts, like we
are now enrolled in Kenya Stevens Love Academy, which we're
gonna get back to that in a second, and then
(03:40):
we've been hanging out with Michael. Michael was even here
in the studio yesterday getting some work done for another
podcast that he was doing.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So it just feels like.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Other than just like calling people up and just like, hey,
come on our podcast and talking about them, we've had
like genuine conversations or getting conversations and had these people
like we usually do, to integrate into our lives just
organically as friends.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Yeah, that's the goal when you create. I mean, I
think a lot of people are creating podcasts because they want,
I don't know, to go virable or to make money,
which is crazy.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
This is absolutely not what this is.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
This is not what happens as synergy write up started podcast.
But if you're doing it for the right reasons, you
will create community and find people that are like minded.
And I think that's been the beauty of us doing this,
And I mean also just to I mean for us,
I think it's going to be an interesting to go
back years from now and have a love journal that
(04:39):
kind of walks us through periods of our relationship, you know,
pre engagement, post engagement, marriage and kids, and we'll just
have you know this to good look back on.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
So yeah, And I've always felt like that was a
strong reason why I've started podcasting, not only because I
thought my stories were much better than all the other
podcasters that so I don't really concerner myself a podcaster
because I don't think podcasts are really interesting. I think
that I'm more interesting and I just like to tell
my stories and experiences, but also to start up community.
(05:16):
When I was podcasting in New York, it was a
lot about starting up a community of people of people,
but specifically men that wanted to understand a different perspective
about their own sexual sexual experiences and love and accountability
and all those things. And now we get to set
(05:38):
up a community of people that want to have a
love like this.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And also want to be just in a community of love.
Oh you know, we call it if you don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
You people that's listening and watching through the airways, you're
the lovers. Our community is called a community of lovers.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You just you just made it up right now.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I think it just makes sense, got it?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Yeah, So you know, for for us and the lovers
to just be all in one and just you know,
and be englfed in this experience.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
You're a storyteller.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I am a story experiencer.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I don't know how great to give me the story experiencer.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
My life is a story itself, like things.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Just that's you telling your own experience, isn't that?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Okay? Well? Can I can? I can I come up
with words and stuff that sound cool?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Okay, great?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Well the reason why I said was que unquote story smith.
But yes, I am a storyteller. But I don't really
have to work hard for the story to.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Come to me.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Like I just walk outside, go places, meet people, and
there's always some kind of like crazy story that pops
up in something to tell you say yes. I do
say yes to the experience.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
And that's what usually brings experiences when you're open and
saying yes to new experiences. I feel like the universe
is robust and gives you like stories to tell and
have experiences because once you say yes to one thing,
you say yes to something else, say yes to something else,
and then you today you're having a pleasure filled, fun,
juicy life.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I do have a pleasure feel, fun, juicy life. That
is true. But we are here because and.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
I want to. I want to do this on air
more so than just tell it to you in person.
I want to say that, drum roll, please, I apologize.
I apologize to you for losing my temper and hurting
(07:45):
myself and physically and putting us in a position that
was detrimental to us because it risks some important things
happening in our lives that that we need it at
the moment. So for those that do not know, I'm
not wearing it right now. But if you've been watching
(08:07):
prior episodes on YouTube, which you should go on YouTube,
go to YouTube dot com, type in love like this
or the Love Like This and subscribe. Suscribe to our
YouTube page because it's very fun and very sexy over there.
And also even last week we did an episode where
I included the pictures and videos of our experience in
Jamaica for Jamaica Carnival and how much fun that was
(08:30):
and that whole story wasn't it was great in itself.
Me and my wonderful fiance over here told the amazing
story about how she did her first four to twenty
Jamaica retreat and then we drove from Antigo Beta Kingston
and with our two friends.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
That had an epic time. So go over to YouTube
and check that out. It was great. So if you've
been checking, if you've been watching on.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
YouTube, what you would have seen that I've been wearing
a cast for some time. I had to take it
off because I had to do some things I had
to had to get this job, so I had to
get that cast off just along get past the physical
examination of my job. But I want to apologize because
(09:14):
the reason why I got in that cast is because
I lost my temper and I punched my cabinet. Me
and Mila got into it because I asked her for
her help. And how dare I ask a queen, a
beautiful princess, that the matriarch of our family to even
lift a finger to assist me?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Am I a man or not? Like?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Why would I ever ask a woman to assist me
in anything to get up and do it myself. And
if I can't do it myself, I just need to
struggle through it. I at least my words maybe definitely
not your words. No no, no, no, no, definitely not your words.
But within this argument, not only was I I was
partially frustrated because I asked her help and I was
(09:58):
denied by this beautiful queen right here. I also didn't
want to argue. And there's just this weird point of
just like arguing but trying not to argue. But all
your words come out sounding like an argument. Isn't that
so crazy? But it sounded like an argument, and I
(10:21):
wanted to just I didn't want to hit something, but
I wanted to bang on something. It's like this, It's
like just a loud sound that would like just bring
everything to a complete stop.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
That was the mindset behind me.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Oh okay, you thought you were a human alarm?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yeah yeah, But it was more so just a bang
on something. And it really wasn't the argument. I feel
like I've told you this before that it really wasn't argument.
It was just a frustration of life. And you know what,
let's go into that. The frustration of life right and
what I've been going through that's been so frustrating. So
it all starts on my birthday, February twenty February tenth,
(11:02):
twenty twenty five. Are you listening to me storytelling my
experiences right now?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Right? I was having any amazing birthday.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I spent my whole birthday by myself from beginning to end.
I went to a spa, I went to a dinner.
I just chilled out, which is what I wanted because
you know, shit's been stressful.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I've never had to look for a job before.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Who go to dinner?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I forget.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I never had to look for a job before because
I started my career at eighteen years old and it
got the pathway was set for me because I was
very good. I went to a vocation in high school.
I was very good at my electrical class. They recommended
me for something everything that I've ever need and I got.
I went straight into the MTA New York City Transit
(11:50):
in New York after that for my promotion that I
just need to go ahead and apply because I was
already qualified based on you know, my skills and stuff
like that, having electrical installation UH degree through high school.
So I'm kind of like an electrician by trade. I
can even go into that easily if I want to.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
But moving out to LA and no longer working for
the m t A, I've had to really understand life
as how everybody else understands life. With trying to find
a job, with trying to maneuver through life and finances.
We're trying to, like, you know, pick and choose which
what to prioritize and what's not that important anymore in life, right,
(12:38):
And so moving out here and those challenges for the
last two and a half to three years now was
was a struggle and a challenge. But you know, your
boy is strong. So I've been making it through.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
You live here for three years now.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
It's yes, coming up, uh yeah, June, June. June's gonna
make three years.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
So I got a call back on February time saying
that I got accepted for this job. It will be
a remote video editing job and something like that.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
That was on your birthday, right.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
That was on my birthday, little fuckers. So I started
my birthday thinking that I had this job. At this
call back from this company, I got this job. Baby,
It's a great fucking birthday already, like whoa.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Now.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
The thing about this why it was so detrimental to
me was because I felt I was over also overcoming
a very long depression. But I felt all the worries
and everything leave my body.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I felt so at ease. I felt so much better.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
And then about a week after I came to find
out that the job posting was a scam.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
And that.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Brought back all the stress and pressure. Now, the thing
about depression is it's and stress. It's one thing to
like be in it and not even realize. I don't
know if you ever experienced depression before, but it's like
when you're out of depression and you're.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Like, whoa, my room is dirty.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
I haven't been keeping up with myself, Like you start
noticing things that you didn't notice before because you're just
in it.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Now.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
When I felt that shit leave my body, that depression
leave my body and then come back because I found
about found out it was a job scam, I then
felt the weight of it, the actual weight of the depression,
like on my mind. So for me it was one
thing to just be going through it and just know
I might be sad or might be down or whatever.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
But it is.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Another thing to actually know how heavy it's been. It's
been weighing on me. So not only that I had
somebody in my life who I thought was my friend,
who I thought was both a friend to both me
and Mila. I did some production, podcast product and work
for them, and they refuse to pay my last invoice.
(15:04):
They decided they don't long want to continue podcasting anymore
because you know, everybody think they're gonna make money off podcasting.
They refuse to pay my last invoice, and then upon refusal,
they also wanted me to continue to do more work
for them without them ever paying my last invoice. And
the work that they wanted me to do had nothing
(15:26):
to do with the invoice that they need to pay me.
So it was a sense of betrayal, and it was
a sense of just feeling like they were treating me
in a manner that I didn't deserve. And on top
of that, this is about my money, so I don't
understand why we're even playing this game when it comes
(15:47):
to my payment. So those two things and the reason
why and the reason why that thing really weighed on
members because of how importantly I take my friendships and
how importantly, we take our friendships and how we treat
people with genuineness and organicness and.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Just kindness so they they them, not them.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Refusing to pay my invoice and paying the money that
I feel like that I not I feel like, but
that I deserve that I worked for was also frustrating.
Now fast forward back to this night where I'm arguing
with me. I'm feeling the weight of these things like daily,
the stresses of these things daily, which I didn't want
to argue with my girl because I'm already fucking stressed
(16:34):
out about other things that she's not stressing me out,
so I don't need us arguing about things to add
on to the stress because I'm not stressed out when
it comes to her and she makes me feel better.
And we were having a great fucking day. I went
to bang on something to just cause a loud noise
to just stop on, stop this this whatever the fuck
we were doing, this bickering, this high bickering that we were doing,
and I misjudged the distance of my kitchen cabinet. Within
(16:59):
that misjudged just misjudgment of my kitchen cabinet. I also
misjudged how strong I am. I've been in the gym.
Stop smoking. I have been you know, getting getting getting
back well, not getting back healthy.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I'm ready pretty healthy, but I was getting back to.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Like the strength that I that I usually have, and
I swung on my kitchen cabinet. My kitchen cabinet didn't
punch back, but I one undred percent lost that fight.
I ended up with a boxer fracture and a dislocated pinky.
So the knuckle of my pinky was had a handline
(17:40):
fracture and it's dislocated where my pinky is now underneath
the knuckle.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I'm not wearing my cast right now.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
It has been over six weeks and I can feel
that it's healed, but I do need to see an
orthopedic surgeon because the dislocation is still there now.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
The reason why this is so detrimental is because you
a little belly. Oh I don't even have a belly,
it's just the angle that's so funny.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
The reason why this is so detrimental is because I've
been going for a job, a job where I need
to use what my fucking hands, and just getting out
of this financial rut and getting into a better place
and knowing how punching my cabinet and fracturing my my
(18:30):
pinky finger could have really derailed all of this was
very scary in thought, but this is why I wanted
to apologize for losing my cool and hurting myself, which
essentially can hurt us in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
And then it also showed.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Me how important I am to this relationship because anything
that happens to me is could be very detrimental to
us both. I've be't holding that and to like really
like express that to you for a while, but that's
what's been what's been going on with me, and how
(19:09):
and how frustrating dealing with all of that has been.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Any response, thank.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
You for your apology. Appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
I'm you know, I'm not a fan of damaging anything
in my house. I'm not a fan of physical, physical
expressions of anger that are Yeah, I'm not a fan.
I've been in situations where I've been hit, and I
just don't really fuck with getting so frustrated or anger
that you're hitting anything. I mean, definitely not me, but
(19:44):
just in general, to me, that's a silent like the
indication of violence. And I know you're frustrated and mad,
but I also take great pride in my household, in
my house, and now we have a broken fucking cabinet
that I don't know how it was going to be
replaced because I don't know how to place the cabinet,
plus through that weird lavender color, because I don't know
what the fuck the landlord was thinking when she painted
(20:06):
the whole kitchen lilac. So even if it is replaced,
where the fuck we're going to find that lightlac gass
paint that she kind of been made all the cabinets anyway. Yeah,
I think that you might have to find a different
outlet for your anger, or your frustrations or your stress.
(20:26):
And I'm happy that. I mean, in the moment, I
was really fucking irritated. I did say that you asked
for help a lot, and for more contexts, he was
making dinner. He had put taking some of the groceries out.
We had just gotten groceries, and he'd been in there
for a kind of a second, and I sat on
the couch because he was about to cook, and then
he said, can you put this?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Can you put the groceries away?
Speaker 4 (20:48):
And I was like, just finish it, because I'm I'm
conditioned to just do not to half ass anything.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
That's no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Don't interrupt me.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Don't interrupt me, please intergect.
Speaker 4 (21:03):
I grew up in a household where I heard while
you're half assing, don't half ass a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Half assed was.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
A token coin slogan in my household, and I I.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Don't want to interject, but can I ask a question
real quick? No, no, it's not an interject. I just want
to ask a question. Do you think growing up in
your household, your parents telling you that was like even
healthy or something that you should hold onto.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
I never thought looked at it as a negative thing.
I didn't think of it as anything. I actually support
the notion of not half asking anything.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
The reason why I asked is because this just sounds
like parents just wanting you to not bother them with anything.
Because living and living in this world, what I've come
to learn is that we all need help. We all
need assistance in some type of way, and we all
need community in some type of way, and nobody gets
(21:55):
one thing done by themselves. And I realized that the
black sperience of film like you Need to Do Everything
has been very detrimental to us, which is why That's
why I asked, like, do you even think like that's
a helpful like notion to have, because I've seen that
not help anybody at all feeling like they need to
(22:16):
do everything or they need to like this, this notion
of like half assing.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
I mean, I think I half as to just like
do it one hundred percent, Like if you're going to
do it, do it good.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, but that's that's not the same thing as half assing.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Well, anyway, he didn't put the ice cream away. He
specifically was waiting for me to do. He's like, can
you put some of the groceries away? And it's like
in my mind, I'm like, it's we have maybe three
bags of groceries. You put half of the shit away. Specifically,
why wouldn't you have just thrown the frozen things in the.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Freezer or whatever?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
And I was just like, I feel like you asked
for help a lot, and this is something I'd mean,
maybe it's just a me thing because of the way
I was grown up, but like he'll asked me to
come two flights of stairs downstairs to the garage to
help them with grocery bags. I'll it down there. It's
like one extra bag. He needs me to get and
I'm like, you could have literally got this last bag.
But whatever, I understand, like into in your perspective, it
(23:09):
makes you feel like I'm not a team player, but
I mean I feel like I am, and I feel
like when I do something, I'll just do the whole
thing instead of like breaking it up. And I think
I chose the wrong time to say that because I
think we had just gotten off an argument. Like the
day before we had argued, and I mean, we don't
genuinely genuinely argue often, but I think for whatever reason
(23:30):
that I can if I remember the argument was about
initially before this was drew out.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
For like a whole day.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
And I think when you're always generally in a good
like a good energy with your partner, when you're not,
it's very clear, you know, like in our household, if
someone's angry like lunas, immediately like.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
What's up with you? So, uh, that was just my mind.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
And yeah, so after the punching of the fucking cabinet,
I was extremely irritated. It was really hard for me
to have any compassion even though it was yelling. And
then at eleven PM, as we were supposed to be
eating dinner. Instead of eating dinner, we had to go
to the emergency room, which is something also I hate,
(24:14):
because who the fuck wants to be at the hospital.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I hate hospitals. I definitely want to go late night.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Nobody has insurance up in here, so we're going to
definitely be last to be called on the fucking and
you don't know if you guys have been to the hospitals,
but if you ain't got insurance, they're not prioritizing your emergency.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
And I was just mad as hell. I had to
drive him then he had this cast. He's right.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
I was just considering, like, you have this interview coming up,
They're going to see that you have this fucking fractured finger.
It's going to affect your employment that you've been stressed
out about. And it just really pissed me off. Not
to mention there have been other things in the house
that have been broken by Orlando's anger and frustrations, and
so I feel, and I've expressed this to you, that
(24:59):
like maybe there's a need for anger management, maybe there's
a need for meditation, just something to have an outlet
to obviously channel your anger and frustrations, whether it be
because just things outside of our household, or just me,
or whatever the circumstances are. But I mean, you've been
(25:21):
wearing you had to wear the cast for six weeks.
You thought you were gonna get it off in New York,
you did, you couldn't get it off. I know you're
frustrated about that. You came to Jamaica. You couldn't swim
really because you couldn't get it wet. So it's just
been an ongoing And then he had to come back
from Jamaica and then do a physical interview in which
I threatened his life and said you better cut that
(25:41):
shit off and figure it out, and he did and
had to go through an entire physical agility interview with
a bud Endurance looking.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
For whatever to He had to do it without the cast.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
And so it's been six weeks of I'm sure nothing
pleasant that you've had to experience, because who the fuck
wants to wear a cast in this climate for that long.
So I hope that this, of all things, learn lesson.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's been a learning lesson.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
So in the future, when you get that angry, you
find other ways in outlets to express however you feel
towards me or just express yourself because breaking shit and
damaging shit in our household is not an option and
it doesn't do shit except fuck up the things that
we pay for a lot of money and expensive ass
(26:38):
la and also damage your own self. And now you're
in this position where you have to fight a fucking
orthopaedic whatever and do all these things to make sure
that you're in you know, you need.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Your hands of all things.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
So that was an issue that we had, I guess
six weeks ago, semi recently, and it just went too
far for like absolutely no reason other than fucking put
the ice cream away, which seems like, you know, the
slogan don't cry over spilt milk. Yeah, it seems like
(27:11):
there are just like a the the cause and effect
Domino really got far away for something that was pretty minor.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
And pretty stupid. And yeah, I was not being.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I could be very emotionless when I don't really care,
and I was pissed.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
And so we've gotten past that.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Yeah, and I'm glad that you apologize, and I apologize
for saying you ask for help a lot. I maybe
could have found a better way to express that, but
I just didn't know any other words. And maybe a
different timing, but that'll come.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
With the motional intelligence. Baby, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
I have emotional intelligence right.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Right, right right.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Something you couldn't find, couldn't intelligently find the word that
you need it?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
What are you talking about? The word I needed for
what you said?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
You couldn't find the proper words. No, it's not my said,
you know it is recorded, right.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
What do you mean? I couldn't find the proper words for.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
What you said. You could have found better words to
express That's.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Not emotional intelligence, that's communication.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
I do.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
I did feel that way. I wasn't lying.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
I felt like there's certain things that you asked for
help that you could actually do, but you'd rather help you.
And I said I could have chosen better words to
express that.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I didn't say. I didn't mean what I said what
I said.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Listen, I'm just happy that we know that we're not
a half ass, half assed family. Because there's definitely laundry
in the closet that's that you folded but didn't put away,
because you know you don't half ass.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
I did it because I watched it. I haven't had.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Time, Okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
I'm a busy woman, you know, don't have there's three
people people who live in the house.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well, you don't have ast bit.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
I'm just telling you. It was the laundry in the
closet that's folded that I washed. Is not me.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
You didn't watch that I washed that.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
You did not I washed it.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Okay, fine, well you washed it. Don't half ascet you
watch it, you folded, now you put it away, don't
half ass mab.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
The point is it was not melting closing. No closet
is not melting, and no one is. There's no emergency.
No one's gonna die for clean logy.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Sorry, guys, One thing I say about you, you you
won't even if you don't finish it.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
You won't ask for help to finish it.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
You'll just let it sit there until you just to
finish it because you know you don't have aast.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
No, I just I also know that everybody in the
house has eyes, and you've actually recognized that there's a
laundry in the closet, and you also have not put
it away.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Well, I know that I know that we're not a
half fast household. So I don't want to interrupt your
half astness.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Except for except when it comes to you and you
want to put one bag of groceries away for me
to put one.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
To learn I've come to learned.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Or I'll be like, I'm like, we take the lot
to school. He'll be like, yeah, but you make the lunch.
I'm like, I'd rather just I'd rather just take her
to school if you're if you stay sleep, I'm gonna
make the lunch and take her. But if I stay sleep,
you want me to get up and make lunch while
you take her. I'm like, we might as well knock
things off completely.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
Ticket come to learn that we're not a half fast family.
So nobody in this house ask for help. Everybody just starts.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I didn't say, don't ask for help.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
I just said, just if you are capable complete the
whole task in.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Ninety If in your opinion, everybody's capable, then they need
to do what, in your opinion you think they should do,
and don't ask for help.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I understand.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Anyway, is that the point of this part of this conversation, Well,
what has been a great help and a beautiful insertion
into our life was that we are now a part
of the Agressive Love Academy. As Kenya Stevens.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
First ever couple to do pre marital coaching, divorce proof
coaching and not already married divorce proof.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Right right, and it was it was such a beautiful
I don't know connection and how it came together and
at the timing that it came in our lives. We
were always open to coaching and pre marital coaching and counseling.
We've been just in the flow of me trying to
find the job. Which now that I'm trying to find
the job, your boy has four jobs. Now now I
(31:35):
went from having one job trying to find another job.
Now I got four fucking jobs. So I'm overly happy.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Now come to one hundred, real quick, real quick.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
So we are now enrolled in pre marital coaching, which
is so beautiful because why wait until you get to
a point where you're close to divorce and then find
out find somebody to help you out.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Let's do it way in the gaining way way. Way.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
We don't have any fires. Now we're trying to put
fires out right.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
I'm a big believer in attending coaching, attending counseling, and
attending therapy when you're in a good space in your life,
not when you're in the negative but when you're in
when when is a problem, when there's a problem, don't do.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
A post problem, do the do the work it requires before.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Right, And that is one way of making sure you
never go down the road.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
What is it maintenance now?
Speaker 4 (32:32):
Main maintenance not fixing, not like healing, like maintainance. So
it doesn't there isn't an issue versus when there's an issue,
having to patch up the wound.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
And it we've been in this that third week now,
it is that third week now, But I will tell
you that the first two weeks have been phenomenal and
groundbreaking and clear, clear and beautiful because even times where
I feel I might be getting frustrated or irritator and
stuff like that, all I can hear is like the
(33:08):
coaching that we've had and the steps that she wants
us to do, and the venting, the venting space that
she wants us to create, all the things that she's
been teaching in just like these two weeks. And it's
been it's only been two weeks, but it's been a
very impactful two weeks and it's been great.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
It has It's been like a lesson how to communicate
when things are not easy to communicate and how to
hear each other and how to let your feelings be
expressed and how to hold space for the other person.
And I think a lot of us haven't been really
given the gift of communication in a way that is effective.
(33:50):
So it's been really nice to kind of sit in
with other couples that I've been married and have been
together for a long time, and also like gain these
tools and these communication tools that obviously like were great,
but we lack or else we'd have better ways to
express ourselves other than hitting things.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
So yeah, shout out to Kenya.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Oh, and then even after we do so, we have
a group session that we have to do once a
week every Thursday, And after those group sessions, we do
a live.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
YouTube one on one with key with.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Kenya and it's it's it's all just been phenomenal. I
think that we've accessed like the cheat code by being
the first pre marital coaching couple that she's ever done.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Shout out to the Progressive Love Academy.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Shout out to the Progressive Love Academy, and shout out
to Kenya Stevens.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
You guys have to go look at her YouTube. They're
recorded there.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
And you see her coaching us, and you see, you'll
see it, and it stays up there. And after every course,
Orlando and I go one on one live with her
on YouTube so that you can kind of see the
one on one aspect of it too. It's a pretty
small group anyway, but like it's really nice to just
actively see your for correcting us and see us learn
(35:03):
this new form of communication in real time.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Yeah, yeah, it's been beautiful.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I every time we peek in our relationship or where
where or we're at this high point, I always think
to myself, I know this is about to get better,
and I can't wait to see where how it gets better.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
And we are.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Definitely at a new high right now, and I can't
wait to see what the next high and the next
level up is going to be for us. But yeah,
thank you, thank you from thank you for sticking through
and being there, and us holding true to ourselves and
always wanted to work and be better and always communicating
and me having emotional intelligence and you having some intelligence
(35:46):
and something and you know, try to find your words
best as you can.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Even if you don't like people to ask you for help,
I still love you.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
I love you too, even if you break it in
my house because you're frustrated and you're not thinking about
how am I gonna How is this help anything except
hurt the home that we pay for and work hard for.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Yeah, but we truly, truly, we've we've become way better.
And I can even when I, like I said before,
when I get frustrated, I can hear the teachings that
and the coaching that she's given us. So I don't
even feel myself go down the road of this frustration
of when I want to, you know, hurt or hurt
(36:31):
something else. So but yeah, I love you, Babby, and
I can't wait for us to complete this twelve week
couple's course. And I love doing things with you. You
are definitely my one and only and favorite lover.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
I'm enjoying doing this class with you too, And I
know we're about to go to Costa Rican to this
couple's retreat, which I think is going to be really fun.
So it's nice to work together on our relationship and
on outside projects and on this. So it's a learning.
You know, relationships are learning in every capacity, whether it
be professional or romantic, and it requires that you'd be
(37:08):
willing to grow and to learn. And that's I mean,
it's sometimes difficult, and it's also beautiful when you can
reach those level of expansion with somebody that you love.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yeah, deep breath.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Some Mela mones.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
I love when me trying to do mel.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
You too can take this home with you and do
a little strong, deep inhale and release with sounds. You know,
it doesn't have to be solely mones are only not
only for the bedroom, but love the energy and.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
If you want to do some moans and more.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
My beautiful wife to be over hair is a certified
tantric petitioner and sexologists, so you know, hit her up,
hit her line, get some one on ones going. My
beautiful wife to be takes one on ones. She'll help
(38:14):
guide you through a bunch of things. Wait, I want
to see if I can guess them all, Like you know,
things like trauma right, things like any issues you're going
through with family, friends, financial. There is always a way
for you to breathe, different modalities, ways to move your body,
all the basic things to help you heal. And I
(38:35):
emphasize basically because healing is not a complicated or complex
thing to go through. The world has made us feel
like you have to you have to do all this
grandiose type of things just to find some type of healing.
And healing is always simple. You never should have to
go through leaps and bounds and hoops and jungles just
(38:56):
to heal yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
We're all self healing.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Mm hmmm. We love y'all and I love you baby
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Bye Lah Like this
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