September 16, 2025 • 44 mins
Sometimes Love feels like a smooth late-night groove, and other times... it doesn't. In this episode, Milah and Orlando crack open the mic, and each other, as they dive into what it really takes to argue with grace. Keep your cool and not let childhood triggers write the script for your grown-up love. From “wrong & strong” apologies, to inventing the Argument Emergency Kit, to breaking down how bullet-point talkers and circle-talkers can survive each other. This is relationship real talk wrapped in laughter, moans, and late-night confessions. If you’ve ever argued in circles, blamed your partner for your mom’s tone, or tried to meditate through a fight before getting some makeup sex this one’s for you. Because Love Like This is messy, funny, triggering, healing…and always worth it.
Social:@Milah_Mapp @Wh_orlandoroye @Hoochiemomanddad
Watch here: Youtube
Patreon: Patreon.com/LoveLikeThis
Social:@Milah_Mapp @Wh_orlandoroye @Hoochiemomanddad
Watch here: Youtube
Patreon: Patreon.com/LoveLikeThis
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
A lah like this.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello everyone.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
While my love is trying to like this interest right now,
I want to let you know that this episode is
sponsored by IT because sometimes when a motherfucker is wrong
and strong and they want to come back and fucking
apologize to you, all up in your face, all you
gotta say sometimes that's all you got for them is just, oh,
(00:31):
I'm so sorry, Orlando, my bad. I didn't mean to
yell at you.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I yelled at you because I thought that your credit
score was higher and I needed help with my credit score.
But instead, come to find out my credit score is
actually higher and and and I don't need that much help.
And all you gotta say look at them, and you
just go mm uh huh because they curse you out, stink.
I think you even called me a Republican at one point.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Welcome back to Love Like This.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
I'm your host, Jami La Map and I'm joined by
my lovely, wonderful husband to be fiance, Orlando Roy aka
the big, big bad Bitch.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Don't know how I ended up here mm hm.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
And today you know what? Today is Today's Friday, so
it's a good day. And obviously you have some issues
that you would like to take up with HR. But
you need to put in a notice when you want
to take up issues with HR, and you specifically need
to request from HR when you want to bring up
issues on the Internet. But because I'm a wonderful head
(01:39):
of household and a wonderful head of HR, I can.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Entertain this conversation.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
But before we do that, thank you to everybody joining
us again, Thank you for rejoining us.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I know we've been gone for a while.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Orlando tried to take the reins and take over the
show like he tends to do with his friends and.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
People and his charisma and his.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Narciss Okay, all, but guess what, bitches, Big Mama is back.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Big Mama is here.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Big Mama for real.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
That's is all by that girl you like, I'm big
Mama for real.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Sure you'll tell you why they come out.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
You want to iage just see your girlfriend?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, while you're alado, while you're fixing fixing yourself. I
want to let everybody know that this this episode is
sponsored by staying present, because sometimes you have to stay
present and realize the situation you're in and how much
how it is so much better than the situations that
(02:45):
you've been in before, and how you're happy and how
you're blessed, and how you've you're surrounded by people that
love you and care about you, and that you don't
need to yell and scream at them, because if you
are present, you will see that you're in a much
better position than you were before, not in the same
stressful positions where you can get irritated easily and reactive
(03:08):
and be mad and blah blah blah ah, fingerpoint and
blame and tell other people is wrong, but instead seeing
that you're in a much loving position in life, a
happy position in life, and you can have grace for
the other person, so you don't have to raise your voice.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yes, and studying present in the fact that your current
relationship doesn't have to necessarily mimic your childhood. And if
you're getting yelled at or things come up because there's frustration,
which that will happen because we're human, right, there will
maybe be an increase in volume, There may be misunderstandings
and disagreements, and there will be difficult conversations.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
That's inevitable.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
But it's really important to stay present and now just
when someone a female raises their voice, that doesn't necessarily
mean it's attack mode. It means I can sense there's
some stress and frustration on this topic.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
So let's dig into it.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
I think yes, I agree Honey on presents and awareness
and not being triggered to react in current situations like
traumatic situations, because just because those situations might mirror each other,
it doesn't mean that they are the same, nor is
it the same person delivering the message. So this episode,
(04:23):
I thought we were talking about camping, but apparently not.
We're talking about being triggered and choosing the right path,
like Michelle Obama take the high path.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
This episode is brought to you by k YC. Keep
in your Cool because sometimes when the motherfucker is so
wrong and they're barking at you, you have to keep
your cool, stay calm, do not let those who are
miserable and angry take you out there. Can I run
that please? We have sponsors, okay, all right, we have
(04:58):
brand deals. We're getting pay. Run this out. Keeping your cool,
all right, Keeping your cool. Don't let them motherfucker make
you mad because they're mad, you know what.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
This is.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Episode is sponsored by Don't fucking Talk to Me in Circles?
Okay for a bitch like myself who has been talked
to in circles by plenty of niggas. Confused, not confused
at all. That's the problem, a lot of niggas. I
can talk you to death into circles and bring up
things along the way to the point, so that we
(05:30):
missed the point.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Or we mayn't even get there.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
We never made Usually don't even want to arrive at
the destination. It's like the tour that never ends. Instead
of saying, let me listen to the root of the issue,
they say, why are you reacting that way?
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Oh you're so sensitive. Oh you overreacting. Oh you're raising
your voice at me, and I don't deserve this.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Instead of say, let me go, I think that they're
this person loves me and they trust me, and we're
getting married.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
So I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
That getting married.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Sorry, okay, that was a love love. I take that
one back.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
If she's raising her voice, it's probably because I'm not
listening to what she's saying. Crazy anyway, I'm not going
to keep going subliminally back and forth with you so
we could hash out something we're not telling the people.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
About, because that's very annoying. So do you want to.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Talk about the summer or do you want to talk
about this issue that we had earlier, because I'm bound
for either one.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Let's do and then we'll get into it topic. Let
me moan first minute, keep aside.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Okay, let's take a deep breath because sometimes we need
an energy reset deep in hell holds, and they're going
to exhale a sound, pleasurable sounds if possible, Okay, because
(07:08):
sometimes you just need to midday reset, and sometimes you
forget about all the pleasurable things that lie in life,
and instead we're having short breaths and shallow breaths and
tense bodies, and so it's nice to just to take
a deep, long breath and exhale with the Mela moone
just to channel all the pleasure and all the good
(07:28):
things that are happening in your life, because there's so
much pleasure and so many good things happening in our lives, right, Orlando.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yes, that's why we want to let you know that
this episode is sponsored by Mela Mones because a pleasurable
breath can save you from an early death.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Or an early trip to the dail.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Okay, fine, fine, let's get into it. Mela has no
tone control. Okay, okay, all right, let me let me,
let me be serious. We've recently got into it, and
it's not that we're getting into it over a specific thing.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
We're getting into.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
It about being reactive and a volume and like the
volume being raised. Now, what I've expressed, Samila, is that
I could understand if we're in stressful situations. We've been
in a stressful situations, stressful environments, things that can make
you feel like you don't have time to deal with
(08:35):
Can you turn the incense around so it doesn't spell
on the couch like and as as I say that,
it's spells on the couch.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Okay, everything's gonna be okay, let me meet a moan
it off.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
It's Friday.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
You got a job, job, you just got.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Off work, got off that ship.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
You got a three day weekend. You got a fine
ass fiance.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Okay, she got a fat ass, that's true.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
You got a nice house. Do you have a car,
You have a roof of your head and have food tonight.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
And I'm gonna get some pussy counter blessings. I am
kind of kind of there's about eleven of those blessings
in there. So we've we've had this issue of well,
I've had this, I can. I feel like it is
an issue with myself. We're feeling like because we're not
in stressful situations, I don't think that there is a
(09:34):
reason for us to react a certain way. We've been
in super stressful situations and stress on environments, and I
can understand like the impatience and the antagonization and just
having things on your chest already so it's easy for
you to.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Snap, But.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
I really feel like the punishment has to fit the crime.
And we were having u miscommunications and disagreements on how
we speak to each other. And one thing I've been
expressing to Jamila, my lovely fiance over here, you're really
so cute with these braids and you need to put
(10:11):
up in a ponytail again, is that I don't feel
like her reactions or toneage fits or is deserving, or
that I deserve that kind of uh uh volume.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Volume or reaction.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah yeah, yeah, you gotta tell them to bring the
volume down. But honestly, truly, something I've expressed to you
and I even cried to you about is that when
I was a kid, my mom would just go off
on me about any little thing, not only the yelling,
but also like the name calling, being called dumbs.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I'm not saying you, I'm just saying.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Like it's it all comes together, But I'm just saying
that the the impatience right that she had she's had
with me, the reactiveness that she's had of for for
any little thing that I've done. She my mom has
a lot of pain on her chest dealing with my dad.
And one of the things that I've always heard is like,
(11:10):
you're just like your father to child.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
So.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Like fathers.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
But one of a few big things was definitely like
the young being yelled at, and also the name calling,
being called dumb jackass was a big one that she's
called me. I used to hate that, being called dumb, stupid,
jackass and just overall being cursed out.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Now hear me out. This is very normal.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
In Jamaican culture, right to just go off on your
child or go off on somebody that you feel like
you have more power than right. And it's just something
that's always stuck with me because I never thought or
felt like I was being treated fairly for whatever whatever
was being said or was being done. So now that
(12:02):
I feel like I'm in a happy, beautiful, blessed relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I just don't. I just don't.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
It hurts, not that I don't think I deserve, but
it hurts a lot too.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
To have to.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Not deal with to have to go through something like that.
In a space where I feel like I'm with somebody
that loves me and and we're in a loving environment.
Things are much better than they have been in the
last couple of years. I would love to indulge in
relish in these moments of happiness that we're going through,
and it just hurts even more to feel like we're
(12:42):
in a beautiful situation and I'm I'm having to experience
the things that I'm experiencing when it comes to how
I feel you're being reactive or reacting towards me in
any type of any type of certain situations. So it's
just it's just extra hurtful to feel like somebody that
(13:04):
I should be having unconditional love from to then be
spoken to in a certain type of way. And so
this is why it's been a thing about how we
react to each other or the yelling that we do
or anything like that, because it just doesn't feel like it's.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Very fitting for the situation.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
That we're in, especially for saying that we're so happy
and loving and love each other in a certain type
of way. I just feel like there's a lot of
there's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Words in the dictionary.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
One of us is an author, and I think that
you know, they are very versed in the English language,
and I think that.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
They could just use.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
That specific skill that they have to express how they
really feel without the yelling and certain words being told
to me.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Has some sagree.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
I can.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Agree and support you on the fact that when you're
in a loving environment and a loving relationship, that conversations
and interactions should reflect that. I also deeply acknowledge that
because we are human, that's just not always going to happen.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
We will.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Be sometimes triggered. Conversations will not always go exactly how
you know the therapist recommends, or how go stay at
this right volume, or we're not We may not always
say the right thing because we're human and we deserve
(14:53):
the space and and the band of showing up in
that way and giving each other grace in that way.
I can admit that sometimes I do lack patience. I'm
a very get to the motherfucking point type of bitch.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Let's talk in bullet points. Let's get to the point.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
I have a severe case of as I'm getting older
every day that the ADHD is HDH or whatever the
fuck that stands for.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
But I do.
Speaker 6 (15:26):
Have specific triggers because I also grew up in a
household where the tongue was sharp.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
And maybe and when I'm looking at it from.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
A different perspective, you know, you came up in a
household where your mom was a lot of times taking
out her pain and hurt on you and diddo when
my dad wasn't there. However, when he was there, I
did grow up and probably not so common family dynamic
where there was always cursing, yelling, and that was kind
(15:56):
of the baseline of communicy and there were a lot
of arguments that were a lot of disagreements where things
got heightened and so and both my parents are from Philly.
It's we speak very direct and sometimes our love language
is not the love language of what you people would
presume is love. So I'm acknowledging that on both sides
(16:19):
there are triggers and things that we are going to
have to actively work out of and get out of.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
And I can.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Commit to continuously trying my best to be patient and
keep my volume at a reasonable level, and I wouldn't
say a name call, but reduce my cursing. And I
really invite you to give me grace in that period
of time. And also I invite you to acknowledge sometimes
(16:56):
when you tend to go all around the block, just
to get right next door and just say what you're
feeling in the moment if you need to just get
it out.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Because today, as I was.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Getting more and more frustrated, I just kept saying, can
you tell me the point? Can you just tell me
get to the point, because this is what it sounds
like to me. And yeah, I'm growing, I'm trying my best.
I'll do better. I'm not necessarily justifying my communication, but
(17:29):
I also am giving myself the understanding that I don't
feel like what I was saying was necessarily wrong. Maybe
the delivery wasn't right, and I could be better at that,
but there were specific points that I was getting across
that I really needed you to hear so that we
could progress the conversation and have full understanding of each other.
(17:53):
And sometimes when we're in the process of doing that,
and then you get stuck on my volume or the
delivery of what I'm saying a lot of times the
point of the communication, that the conversation doesn't even make
it to that point.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Well, that's still okay, So I see, which for me.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Gets increasingly increasingly.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yes, I understand that.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
And then now we're not even talking about what we're
talking about.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
We're talking about how I'm talking and instead of just saying,
can we please just finish this fucking conversation exactly right?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Okay, So I'm going to start somewhere. Do you feel
like you don't well, I don't even ask you. You
don't feel like the way that sometimes your mom and
dad interacted right was healthy, right, and for a healthy household?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
So all I'm saying is, if you didn't feel like
that was helpful, right or healthy for your household, why
repeat those things in what you have now?
Speaker 3 (18:47):
I agree, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
I I do not have any intention of repeating that
environment or that style of communication. In fact, I think
we've both agreed to shift timelines and shift our generational
upbringing by consciously effectively, you know, doing things differently, And
so I totally agree with that. We're not going to
always get it right, and I appreciate you not like
(19:13):
noticing it and making shifts and bringing it to my
attention over and over again. And I appreciate that. I
also recognize, like, even as I make effort, and I
still encourage you to when you don't feel good about
how I'm delivering a message, say something. But I also
I'm a woman, and I'm not going to always be
(19:37):
perfectly packaged up. My emotions are not going to always
be perfectly packaged up. Sometimes they're going to range. I'm
shifting with the moon essentially, and I'm not making excuses,
but I'm just I know that you're able to hold
all of the emotions, and I'm not saying that I'm
putting that responsibility on you all the time, but I
(19:59):
do want you to know that, like I appreciate you
correcting the behavior, and we're gonna always be aiming for improvement,
and also that it's not always going to be perfect.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I will get angry, I will get.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Frust which is understandable in a range of emotions. But
I just want you to recognize and be aware that
as you're saying you want to get to the point,
or you're feeling some type of impatience, it's to what end, Like, Okay,
we are having a conversation, right, you don't feel like
(20:34):
the conversation is progressing, but we're still conversing, so we
can get to the point of finalizing or finishing or getting.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
To whatever end you feel is.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
There after the conversation ends, what next. There isn't some
grand there is going to be some grand solution to
what we're talking about. So trying to rush, trying to
get bullet point like having a bullet point conversation isn't
going to get you to some great solution. It's just
a conversation, right, So being impatient, it's about to come
(21:03):
out being impatient about being impatient about about about a
conversation doesn't help you faster succeed And whatever you're trying
to succeed succeed in is just a conversation. So whether
if it's a five minute conversation that stretches to fifteen minutes, right,
(21:26):
whether it ends at five minutes or whether it ends
at fifteen minutes or whether it ends at five hours,
whatever we're talking about isn't going to be completed today,
isn't going to be succeeded today. So rushing the conversation
doesn't get you closer to the success. Everything is a journey.
There is no timeline for all of this. You just
enjoy the moments that you're having. So see, but this
(21:53):
is the thing, right, you're not enjoying the time and
the conversations we're having. We're not even having a conversation
that's d and serious that needs to be rush. There's
no point that's coming that's going to have a million
dollars at the end of you making the point or
me making the point.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
So the point. So so to.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Rush or to get past it, or to get to
to get it over with doesn't doesn't get you closer
to any success. So there's no point in rushing when
you can also just enjoy the conversation for what it is,
for how the person is trying to explain it to you,
for the way that they speak, because they don't speak
the same way as you. I don't speak the way
(22:33):
you speak. You don't speak the way I speak. You
also you speak in bullet point conversation, but you're also
not very clear. I try.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, you think that, which is great.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I'm happy that you think language.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Yes, because when I'm trying to explain, which is yeah,
because you speak in these bulletpoint conversations and feel like
you can short sentence things, and because you understand it
that I'm just gonna get it by the way that
you say, and I don't.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I don't get it, And then when I have to.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Ask you to repeat it or we have to, I
have to dive into certain details so I can fully
understand where you're coming from, so that after you tell
me what you got to say, there is no mistakes
on my part because I fully understand where you're coming from.
Then it seems like the conversation is going longer than
it needs to. But really what's happening is you're speaking
in this bullet point formation and there's point there's details
(23:22):
missed in these in this formation, in this conversation, so
I don't understand that, and then now I have to
ask more questions, which makes.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It go further further. The conversation go longer than it
needs to, and I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
But you're not seeing that the thing that you don't
like and the thing that's avoidable is being brought on
by yourself, how by bullet point conversations or not I'm not.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
I'm speaking I'm not. I'm speaking directly and clearly and you.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
From your point of view, and which is why I'm
saying that, because you think that you're speaking clearly from
your point of view, it's not very clear because they're
or details missing in what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
There was not a single detail missing in anything that
I was talking.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
About in your opinion, your point of view, which is
what I'm trying to make you understand.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
In the future, I have a solution.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
I think we discussed this before, but we haven't discussed
it lately, and it is maybe there is a.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Were you reaching for something for you to finish there.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Maybe there's a.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Lot a argument safe word where the argument just ceases
at that moment, was it not?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Avocado avocado?
Speaker 4 (24:41):
So that we can just take a hard stop reset
and maybe come back to it in person or an hour,
and so we can think it through, dissect clearly what
we're both taking from the conversation, because obviously in these
instances we were taking two totally different things.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
From the con But I also want you to recognize
that the grace and patients that you're asking for from me,
I've given, which is why when I've come to understand
how you speak and how you go about communicating.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
So you've asked me for grace.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
And this patient and when you don't, when you're giving
information and you're having conversation and I'm not even really
clear about what you're trying to say or is not
very clear about what you're trying to communicate to me,
I've taken instead of just going like yo, you're not
making any sense or stopping at you, I've taken the
extra steps to go, okay, well, can I ask you
a question about this so I can understand more, so
(25:36):
I can understand fully, because trust me, when I say,
it is not as clear as you think it is.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
You know how many times I've been around you, even
saying stuff that I totally am like what the fuck
you're saying, and other people are like, that's literally not
what you said. I think that you don't recognize so
much sometimes when you're not.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Getting to the point okay, but you are, I can
understand that you feel like I'm not getting to the point. Cool,
But then if you don't feel like I'm getting to
the point, yelling or being reactive is not going to
get us to the point any faster.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Okay, well, avocado, We're gonna go with avocados in the
future when there was a point of contention or a
conversation that's gone too far left, we can do the
one of us can do the neutral thing of dropping
the A word emergency. A emergency is good and save
(26:39):
the argument, save save the conversation from becoming an argument
with the emergency a word, because I do have a
fuse and I'm not saying I'm perfect, but there's like,
and I've just been around a lot of niggas that
talk in circles trying.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
And I'm like, I need you.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
To get to the point, Mila, in a space where
we're going to be together for the rest of our lives.
And that's the other thing you need to stop. I'm
not comparing remembering, okay, but then you need to work
on realizing that you are not in the same situations,
which takes me back to our sponsor of recognizing where
(27:24):
you are and being present to write this down, being present.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
The emergency right down.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
We're going to make We're going to make a digital
a digital purchase, and it's called how to how to
resolve an argument quickly clickly the emergency Kit.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Emergency Kit, Argument Emergency Argument Emergency Kit a E c'm
ak ae K.
Speaker 6 (27:52):
The Argument Emergency Kit will be available at your nearest
online store in fourteen to thirty days because this is
something we all could use, including us.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
The Argument Emergency Kit sponsored by f y C.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
What was it was?
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Ky C?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Keeping your cool?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
It's like jelly.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Keep the conversation lubricating. You don't want that drash. Don't
row dog the conversation. Luber it up with ky because
as soon as it gets hot.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
You got burned.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You're looking, you know that.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
You know what the argument STD.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
The one that stays at you forever.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
When you know what happens when an argument STT stays
with you forever, you can't get.
Speaker 5 (28:46):
Rid of it.
Speaker 6 (28:47):
No matter how many times you guys have intellectual intercourse,
it's still looming in the back somewhere. You're nervous, your
anxieties up, and you can't think of anything else except
that motherfucking conversation STD. Argument STD that you you didn't
let go up because you didn't.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Use ky C.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
Baby, Okay, argument emergencies, kid, but yeah, starting with the
safe avocado, sorry.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Safe for Avocado. You're your your starter kit, the Avocado
started kit. All I'm saying is in the grand scheme
of how we're going to be doing this for the
rest of our lives, Babe, there is no rush. There
is no there is no one thing to hurry up
and get to. There is no one conversation that's gonna
(29:39):
succeed and get us to wherever we need to go.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
It's just a conversation. It's just two people talking.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
And honestly, I also am in no fucking rush because
I was so goddamn bored at work today that every
single conversation I had today I stretched to the fucking
limits whatever I could talk about.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Now there's some clarity.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, but I didn't think it was that to say,
hey baby, I'm so goddamn bored.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
I'm doing No, I'm not that one. Call it a homeboy.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Okay, Now I know. I gotta Can we be?
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Can we be?
Speaker 1 (30:17):
What can What I was gonna SAYN could be communicative police,
I can just.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Have other people.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
I could talk hey no, no, no, no, there's no
sex or anything.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
I'm just calling it.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Talk to this.
Speaker 6 (30:31):
This is where this is where we started actually in
our relationship.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
This is actually ringing some bells. First of all, I
know you're bored at fucking work.
Speaker 6 (30:41):
Because you be calling me allday talking about nothing.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
You at the gym, you at homework, and I'm like, hey,
stretching my words, Hey babe.
Speaker 6 (30:51):
I am eighty yeah, man, if you understand about eighty HD, but.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
My mind is moving.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
We gotta get you pose maybe, or we might.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
I need an ADHD couples couple specialists there. I mean, other
than fucking thrive that I might need to get back on. Literally,
when something this is not just you, by the way,
sometimes I do, even with Luna, Like when someone's talking
to me and they're like not getting to the point,
and my mind is literally like all the tabs open
(31:21):
in my brain, or thinking about all the tabs open
on my computer and the things that I haven't done
and what times, and like my brain is moving one
hundred miles per hour. So when someone is talking really
fucking slow or just talking in fucking circles, it is
literally like someone's nails on a fucking chalkboard. For me
(31:41):
to even respond in a manner that makes any sense.
I need you to get to the point rather faster
than I'm bored and I don't have shit else to
do and talk about.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
It is really important.
Speaker 4 (31:53):
And I'm saying this for someone who literally my mind
is moving one hundred times an hour, and I probably
need to invest in meditating more often on a regular basis,
probably three times a day morning, like stretch, tune and
dinner because it is really intense. And I read somewhere
that after a certain age for women, the ADD and
(32:13):
ADHD increases like tenfold, and I feel that and it sometimes, really, honestly, it.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Makes me feel because in your late thirties, shut.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
The fuck up.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I'm in my mid thirties and I'm fine as hell,
And honestly, like I was saying, is it really makes
me feel crazy sometimes sometimes, nigga, is it me or
the person who's bored at work and trying to fucking
take it from No, No.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I'm not crazy.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
No no, no, no, I'm not crazy.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I'm bored, well bored.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Say I'm bored. I just want to talk.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I called you at nine thirty a m. And I
was just chit chatting. That'll that will show you on board.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
The next time I'm gonna say you're bored and I can't.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
But hey, are you bored right now. Yes, maybe I
got shit to do at work at this moment. I
just want to chit and chat to you because I know, guys,
damn well, you ain't doing shit either.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
I'm sleep. Leave me the fuck alone.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
What the fuck do you mean I'm doing lot, I'm
thinking about things.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
I'm doing thinking face.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Go to YouTube YouTube love like this.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I think you want to bubba fucking blood vessel ahead,
leave me alone.
Speaker 6 (33:26):
The amount of times this is all making so much,
but clarity is just rain.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Oh yeah, when you're not having bullet point conversations and
we got some clarity, you get to the details.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
You can keep conversations. I just see people get to
the point. There's another morning at eight am.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
You wanted to bring up some shit at eight am,
and I was like, my nigga.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
It was like six thirty in the morning.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
To seven. I don't know if you noticed.
Speaker 6 (33:49):
I am not a morning person, just because I'm dropping
your black ass off to work at five thirty am,
which again not not something I would I would recommend
for someone of my nighttime capacity.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
And I am.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
A night crawling night fairy, hot water jacuzzi, hot springs
mermaid type of bitch, okay, nighttime, warm water, species okay,
bullet point communications, diet, carbs and fruit and salads, Okay.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
You don't know my species.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
And I understand your's just a mere human.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
I'm just a.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Man.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
So this is me this.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
I'm happy we're getting here, because when you're dealing with
the feminine, when you're dealing with a divine feminine, you're
dealing with a night fairy witch, hot springs mermaid, there's
certain things that you maybe haven't.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Been fully like comprehensive and my ovulating.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Is my period about six? Is it six am?
Speaker 6 (34:59):
Is it nine thirty A? Did this bitch just open
her motherfucking eyes?
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Did she just say you want I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Hold your car, have a quick conversation. Can I inject
real quick, I'm not gonna hold you that conversation at
six thirty am. I definitely like sat on it for
ten minutes and I was like now the time, No,
I was like, this.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Is not gonna go.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Well whoa, Wow, Like this is not gonna go.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Well, finally here we go.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Let's go.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
It's lying and coming forward.
Speaker 4 (35:34):
Wow, this is what we have to do to get
to the fucking honest cord.
Speaker 6 (35:37):
Truth is sit in front of a microphone. I did
a good media let me hold on. Now, that's what
I say going to Joel past that I knew You're
gonna be fucking irritated, but I proceeded.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
I said, I knew, I knew it was not gonna
go well.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Why thirty the morning and you just dropped me out
that morning too.
Speaker 6 (35:58):
You have to drive back, Ladies and gentlemen. This is
the type of ship that I am talking about. It's
not that I.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Don't have patience or compassion. It's when a motherfucker says,
I know this is probably not gonna go well, but
I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Anyway, and.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Then when they get the fucking reaction that they probably
foresaw coming.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
I deserve. You're talking to me like you know me
like this?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
My mama is it talks to me like this at
six thirty in the morning.
Speaker 6 (36:31):
Don't fucking flap my knee, nigga.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Don't you fucking he oh man.
Speaker 6 (36:40):
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a nigga knowing his
bitch and still proceeding to intentionally piss.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Her the fuck You had to have the conversation.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
No, And like I said that morning at six thirty
the morning, Nigga, I just was with you all the
motherfucking day long and night.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
Why are you choosing?
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah, you were off you like I was with you.
We had sex, we laughed, and now I don't want
three days.
Speaker 6 (37:02):
You're like, yeah, I know it's been seventy two hours,
but you remember seventy two hours.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
No, nigga, I don't why bring it up at the
moment I did. I'm just really recollected. Baby, I'm not
even yelling.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I'm not arguing. I just want to talk.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
You.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
No, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
I need you to have more in the moment self awareness,
and I need you to have more not only self awareness,
but like I need you to take more accountability.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Well, I take account No, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
It's not even it's about the accountability that I recognize
that this conversation probably is not going to go well
for these reasons, and I pers and I proceed to
have them, and then when I react me, when I react,
then there's all this up.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Oh don't it's my favorite one.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to be talk
to you at six thirty.
Speaker 6 (38:01):
In the morning, okay, even on the way to work,
I don't say ship.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Do you notice, Okay, stop listening, It's okay.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
And this is this is the like, this is the
volume in which she cannot handle. Yeah, but this is
my regular volume when I'm just having a regular conversation.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
It is you're nice and sweet and you're kind of
hold my hand. Let's let's connect. You're warm and there's
no you don't need to be that way.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
And then he's like, oh, you're so cold.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Now, no, you are cold, and this you could be
a real bitch. No, come on, stop you and you
know that, you know that when you some.
Speaker 6 (38:34):
One puts baby in a corner and then I'm a
real bitch.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Don't be surprised when you're a real bitch. I'm a
real ass bitch.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
Let's connects connect and I'm I have two parents from
Philly and you've you've.
Speaker 6 (38:47):
Dated Hella, hood rats from the Bronx and.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Queen Wow, whoa hey, come on or unhood rats all
black women shut up.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
New York women are not soft. East Coast women are
not soft.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Jamaican women at that time Jamaican.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
I am literally all of the above.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
I'm not in that space anymore, which brings me back
to our sponsor you make present my mom. We are
not in that space anymore, but I will I will,
all right, so we're not that listeners, I will say
I would be very honest. I was like, I'm so
happy for a recording today because I know this is
(39:26):
going to go very well and we're gonna fucking be
able to work through this.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Because there's one.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Thing that will help us work through some ship is
fucking podcasting about it.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
It shouldn't have to come to this for you to say, honestly,
I know I did some ship that I knew it
was gonna irritate you.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
No, no, no, no to stop no no no no. I
didn't say I knew I was doing I knew I
was doing something I was gonna irritate you. I said
that I know this might not go well. Still needs
to happen.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
It still needs to happen. It's an important.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
Conversation, listen.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
I mean, let me be clear.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
I want to thank our sponsors today for sponsoring this episode.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
I want to close this and saying my hours of arguments.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Are between no. Please let me know this is very important.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
Eleven am and for thirty pm.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Five hour yep, okay, five and a half.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
Five Fridays through Friday.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Can we push this to six thirty sure? Eleven am
to six thirty pm.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
Thirty six thirty pm.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Okay, because at the six thirty I want to focus
on the gym and cooking food. I don't want to
do none of that dump sure okay?
Speaker 2 (40:31):
All right?
Speaker 4 (40:32):
Also not not for not four to seven days before
my period?
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Who knows when that comes? Where you be fucking acting?
See distant, cold and distant?
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Bring it back? Stay warm. You have to stay connected.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
This is how we You don't be here, got to
stay connected. All I'm saying is all right, fine, eleven
am to six thirty pm. And oh, can I give
a a primp a warning like hey, later on today
I want can you?
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Okay? Okay?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
So I need to I need to contact HR yep, okay,
got it?
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Maybe the text Hi, this is Orlanday.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
We need to create a.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Form argument for argument for requests argument request form.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
You feel this out?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for the before the convers subject.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
We should write that out an argument request form.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Put that down in your notes, put that down in
the thing argument requests for.
Speaker 7 (41:32):
An argument request in the digital downloads. Yeah, and then
it could be it could be the subject the participants
arguing and the safe word, and in a.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Few notes, a couple of bullet points for the points.
Can we get it?
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
That's good. I like this. I like this.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Can you would be so proud.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Of the argument requests argument request form making that tonight.
I need to take cant on ability in the moment
when you know it to be true, and not a week.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Later when well, I can't take an accountability when you
keep yelling at me?
Speaker 5 (42:07):
Why am I yelling? Because you knew to begin with.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
The accountability or the yelling? Which one came first?
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Right?
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Accountability for why I'm yelling?
Speaker 4 (42:21):
I guess we're not gonna talk about camping today.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Everyone willing to thank you so much. This is love,
like this, but before, during it, after and falling in love.
Speaker 4 (42:32):
I'm going to make a hypno meditation for when you
and your partner get into it, get into a conflict
and a disagreement. You guys can just pop that. You
can say your emergency word. You can pop that on
reset and try again.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Listen, no more calling me a gas lighter. Stop that
that is not true.
Speaker 6 (42:50):
That typically gaslighting me today and I realized as the
cancer in the relationship to a lying ass.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I want to thank our sponsors for today's episode.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Your roots to just fucking can fusing Lions, and I
have to pull you out.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
K y C, You guys, you're cool the brand keeping
your cool. Shout out to y'all. Go to KYC dot
com to keep your cool and find out. I also
want to thank our other sponsor, one of my favorite
sponsors of being present, being present, Stay where you are,
Stay where you're at now where you used to be
being present, Recognize how beautiful your life is right now.
(43:23):
Is any of the sponsors that we want to shout
out while we're here and shout out to Mila Mones.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Perfect reset for your argument or.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Day Yes a moon of day keeping.
Speaker 5 (43:36):
Keeps the therapist.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
What the fuck did I say? I said some fire
shit about not dying. It was keep the death.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Anyway. The point is I am Orlando.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
You can follow me on all socials at w H
Underscore Orlando Roy. You can follow my beautiful fiance right
here Mila Map that Mila Underscore Map, listen to her
other main podcasts is just her side Bitch podcast that
she's on right now her main potcast, Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Sign up to the Good Vibe Retreat. They're going to
Bolli real soon. I think they have one spot left open. Yeah, Yo,
(44:06):
get on it, Get on it, Get on.
Speaker 4 (44:08):
So follow us at Houcci Mom and Dad on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
And if you want to watch us on YouTube and
see our hilarious takes and our high fives and moaning
and stuff like that, you go on YouTube at love
like This. Listen to us love like this, Share it
with everybody else.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Love like this.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
This the before, during, and after a falling in love
and we love y'all.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
Bye, peace Lah like this
A lah like this.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello everyone.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
While my love is trying to like this interest right now,
I want to let you know that this episode is
sponsored by IT because sometimes when a motherfucker is wrong
and strong and they want to come back and fucking
apologize to you, all up in your face, all you
gotta say sometimes that's all you got for them is just, oh,
(00:31):
I'm so sorry, Orlando, my bad. I didn't mean to
yell at you.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I yelled at you because I thought that your credit
score was higher and I needed help with my credit score.
But instead, come to find out my credit score is
actually higher and and and I don't need that much help.
And all you gotta say look at them, and you
just go mm uh huh because they curse you out, stink.
I think you even called me a Republican at one point.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Welcome back to Love Like This.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
I'm your host, Jami La Map and I'm joined by
my lovely, wonderful husband to be fiance, Orlando Roy aka
the big, big bad Bitch.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Don't know how I ended up here mm hm.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
And today you know what? Today is Today's Friday, so
it's a good day. And obviously you have some issues
that you would like to take up with HR. But
you need to put in a notice when you want
to take up issues with HR, and you specifically need
to request from HR when you want to bring up
issues on the Internet. But because I'm a wonderful head
(01:39):
of household and a wonderful head of HR, I can.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Entertain this conversation.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
But before we do that, thank you to everybody joining
us again, Thank you for rejoining us.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I know we've been gone for a while.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Orlando tried to take the reins and take over the
show like he tends to do with his friends and.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
People and his charisma and his.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Narciss Okay, all, but guess what, bitches, Big Mama is back.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Big Mama is here.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Big Mama for real.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
That's is all by that girl you like, I'm big
Mama for real.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Sure you'll tell you why they come out.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
You want to iage just see your girlfriend?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, while you're alado, while you're fixing fixing yourself. I
want to let everybody know that this this episode is
sponsored by staying present, because sometimes you have to stay
present and realize the situation you're in and how much
how it is so much better than the situations that
(02:45):
you've been in before, and how you're happy and how
you're blessed, and how you've you're surrounded by people that
love you and care about you, and that you don't
need to yell and scream at them, because if you
are present, you will see that you're in a much
better position than you were before, not in the same
stressful positions where you can get irritated easily and reactive
(03:08):
and be mad and blah blah blah ah, fingerpoint and
blame and tell other people is wrong, but instead seeing
that you're in a much loving position in life, a
happy position in life, and you can have grace for
the other person, so you don't have to raise your voice.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yes, and studying present in the fact that your current
relationship doesn't have to necessarily mimic your childhood. And if
you're getting yelled at or things come up because there's frustration,
which that will happen because we're human, right, there will
maybe be an increase in volume, There may be misunderstandings
and disagreements, and there will be difficult conversations.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
That's inevitable.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
But it's really important to stay present and now just
when someone a female raises their voice, that doesn't necessarily
mean it's attack mode. It means I can sense there's
some stress and frustration on this topic.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
So let's dig into it.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
I think yes, I agree Honey on presents and awareness
and not being triggered to react in current situations like
traumatic situations, because just because those situations might mirror each other,
it doesn't mean that they are the same, nor is
it the same person delivering the message. So this episode,
(04:23):
I thought we were talking about camping, but apparently not.
We're talking about being triggered and choosing the right path,
like Michelle Obama take the high path.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
This episode is brought to you by k YC. Keep
in your Cool because sometimes when the motherfucker is so
wrong and they're barking at you, you have to keep
your cool, stay calm, do not let those who are
miserable and angry take you out there. Can I run
that please? We have sponsors, okay, all right, we have
(04:58):
brand deals. We're getting pay. Run this out. Keeping your cool,
all right, Keeping your cool. Don't let them motherfucker make
you mad because they're mad, you know what.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
This is.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Episode is sponsored by Don't fucking Talk to Me in Circles?
Okay for a bitch like myself who has been talked
to in circles by plenty of niggas. Confused, not confused
at all. That's the problem, a lot of niggas. I
can talk you to death into circles and bring up
things along the way to the point, so that we
(05:30):
missed the point.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Or we mayn't even get there.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
We never made Usually don't even want to arrive at
the destination. It's like the tour that never ends. Instead
of saying, let me listen to the root of the issue,
they say, why are you reacting that way?
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Oh you're so sensitive. Oh you overreacting. Oh you're raising
your voice at me, and I don't deserve this.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Instead of say, let me go, I think that they're
this person loves me and they trust me, and we're
getting married.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
So I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
That getting married.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Sorry, okay, that was a love love. I take that
one back.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
If she's raising her voice, it's probably because I'm not
listening to what she's saying. Crazy anyway, I'm not going
to keep going subliminally back and forth with you so
we could hash out something we're not telling the people.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
About, because that's very annoying. So do you want to.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Talk about the summer or do you want to talk
about this issue that we had earlier, because I'm bound
for either one.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Let's do and then we'll get into it topic. Let
me moan first minute, keep aside.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Okay, let's take a deep breath because sometimes we need
an energy reset deep in hell holds, and they're going
to exhale a sound, pleasurable sounds if possible, Okay, because
(07:08):
sometimes you just need to midday reset, and sometimes you
forget about all the pleasurable things that lie in life,
and instead we're having short breaths and shallow breaths and
tense bodies, and so it's nice to just to take
a deep, long breath and exhale with the Mela moone
just to channel all the pleasure and all the good
(07:28):
things that are happening in your life, because there's so
much pleasure and so many good things happening in our lives, right, Orlando.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yes, that's why we want to let you know that
this episode is sponsored by Mela Mones because a pleasurable
breath can save you from an early death.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Or an early trip to the dail.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Okay, fine, fine, let's get into it. Mela has no
tone control. Okay, okay, all right, let me let me,
let me be serious. We've recently got into it, and
it's not that we're getting into it over a specific thing.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
We're getting into.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
It about being reactive and a volume and like the
volume being raised. Now, what I've expressed, Samila, is that
I could understand if we're in stressful situations. We've been
in a stressful situations, stressful environments, things that can make
you feel like you don't have time to deal with
(08:35):
Can you turn the incense around so it doesn't spell
on the couch like and as as I say that,
it's spells on the couch.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Okay, everything's gonna be okay, let me meet a moan
it off.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
It's Friday.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
You got a job, job, you just got.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Off work, got off that ship.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
You got a three day weekend. You got a fine
ass fiance.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Okay, she got a fat ass, that's true.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
You got a nice house. Do you have a car,
You have a roof of your head and have food tonight.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
And I'm gonna get some pussy counter blessings. I am
kind of kind of there's about eleven of those blessings
in there. So we've we've had this issue of well,
I've had this, I can. I feel like it is
an issue with myself. We're feeling like because we're not
in stressful situations, I don't think that there is a
(09:34):
reason for us to react a certain way. We've been
in super stressful situations and stress on environments, and I
can understand like the impatience and the antagonization and just
having things on your chest already so it's easy for
you to.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Snap, But.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
I really feel like the punishment has to fit the crime.
And we were having u miscommunications and disagreements on how
we speak to each other. And one thing I've been
expressing to Jamila, my lovely fiance over here, you're really
so cute with these braids and you need to put
(10:11):
up in a ponytail again, is that I don't feel
like her reactions or toneage fits or is deserving, or
that I deserve that kind of uh uh volume.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Volume or reaction.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah yeah, yeah, you gotta tell them to bring the
volume down. But honestly, truly, something I've expressed to you
and I even cried to you about is that when
I was a kid, my mom would just go off
on me about any little thing, not only the yelling,
but also like the name calling, being called dumbs.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I'm not saying you, I'm just saying.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Like it's it all comes together, But I'm just saying
that the the impatience right that she had she's had
with me, the reactiveness that she's had of for for
any little thing that I've done. She my mom has
a lot of pain on her chest dealing with my dad.
And one of the things that I've always heard is like,
(11:10):
you're just like your father to child.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
So.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Like fathers.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
But one of a few big things was definitely like
the young being yelled at, and also the name calling,
being called dumb jackass was a big one that she's
called me. I used to hate that, being called dumb, stupid,
jackass and just overall being cursed out.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Now hear me out. This is very normal.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
In Jamaican culture, right to just go off on your
child or go off on somebody that you feel like
you have more power than right. And it's just something
that's always stuck with me because I never thought or
felt like I was being treated fairly for whatever whatever
was being said or was being done. So now that
(12:02):
I feel like I'm in a happy, beautiful, blessed relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I just don't. I just don't.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
It hurts, not that I don't think I deserve, but
it hurts a lot too.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
To have to.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Not deal with to have to go through something like that.
In a space where I feel like I'm with somebody
that loves me and and we're in a loving environment.
Things are much better than they have been in the
last couple of years. I would love to indulge in
relish in these moments of happiness that we're going through,
and it just hurts even more to feel like we're
(12:42):
in a beautiful situation and I'm I'm having to experience
the things that I'm experiencing when it comes to how
I feel you're being reactive or reacting towards me in
any type of any type of certain situations. So it's
just it's just extra hurtful to feel like somebody that
(13:04):
I should be having unconditional love from to then be
spoken to in a certain type of way. And so
this is why it's been a thing about how we
react to each other or the yelling that we do
or anything like that, because it just doesn't feel like it's.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Very fitting for the situation.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
That we're in, especially for saying that we're so happy
and loving and love each other in a certain type
of way. I just feel like there's a lot of
there's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Words in the dictionary.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
One of us is an author, and I think that
you know, they are very versed in the English language,
and I think that.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
They could just use.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
That specific skill that they have to express how they
really feel without the yelling and certain words being told
to me.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Has some sagree.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
I can.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Agree and support you on the fact that when you're
in a loving environment and a loving relationship, that conversations
and interactions should reflect that. I also deeply acknowledge that
because we are human, that's just not always going to happen.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
We will.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Be sometimes triggered. Conversations will not always go exactly how
you know the therapist recommends, or how go stay at
this right volume, or we're not We may not always
say the right thing because we're human and we deserve
(14:53):
the space and and the band of showing up in
that way and giving each other grace in that way.
I can admit that sometimes I do lack patience. I'm
a very get to the motherfucking point type of bitch.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Let's talk in bullet points. Let's get to the point.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
I have a severe case of as I'm getting older
every day that the ADHD is HDH or whatever the
fuck that stands for.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
But I do.
Speaker 6 (15:26):
Have specific triggers because I also grew up in a
household where the tongue was sharp.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
And maybe and when I'm looking at it from.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
A different perspective, you know, you came up in a
household where your mom was a lot of times taking
out her pain and hurt on you and diddo when
my dad wasn't there. However, when he was there, I
did grow up and probably not so common family dynamic
where there was always cursing, yelling, and that was kind
(15:56):
of the baseline of communicy and there were a lot
of arguments that were a lot of disagreements where things
got heightened and so and both my parents are from Philly.
It's we speak very direct and sometimes our love language
is not the love language of what you people would
presume is love. So I'm acknowledging that on both sides
(16:19):
there are triggers and things that we are going to
have to actively work out of and get out of.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
And I can.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Commit to continuously trying my best to be patient and
keep my volume at a reasonable level, and I wouldn't
say a name call, but reduce my cursing. And I
really invite you to give me grace in that period
of time. And also I invite you to acknowledge sometimes
(16:56):
when you tend to go all around the block, just
to get right next door and just say what you're
feeling in the moment if you need to just get
it out.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Because today, as I was.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Getting more and more frustrated, I just kept saying, can
you tell me the point? Can you just tell me
get to the point, because this is what it sounds
like to me. And yeah, I'm growing, I'm trying my best.
I'll do better. I'm not necessarily justifying my communication, but
(17:29):
I also am giving myself the understanding that I don't
feel like what I was saying was necessarily wrong. Maybe
the delivery wasn't right, and I could be better at that,
but there were specific points that I was getting across
that I really needed you to hear so that we
could progress the conversation and have full understanding of each other.
(17:53):
And sometimes when we're in the process of doing that,
and then you get stuck on my volume or the
delivery of what I'm saying a lot of times the
point of the communication, that the conversation doesn't even make
it to that point.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Well, that's still okay, So I see, which for me.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Gets increasingly increasingly.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yes, I understand that.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
And then now we're not even talking about what we're
talking about.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
We're talking about how I'm talking and instead of just saying,
can we please just finish this fucking conversation exactly right?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Okay, So I'm going to start somewhere. Do you feel
like you don't well, I don't even ask you. You
don't feel like the way that sometimes your mom and
dad interacted right was healthy, right, and for a healthy household?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
So all I'm saying is, if you didn't feel like
that was helpful, right or healthy for your household, why
repeat those things in what you have now?
Speaker 3 (18:47):
I agree, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
I I do not have any intention of repeating that
environment or that style of communication. In fact, I think
we've both agreed to shift timelines and shift our generational
upbringing by consciously effectively, you know, doing things differently, And
so I totally agree with that. We're not going to
always get it right, and I appreciate you not like
(19:13):
noticing it and making shifts and bringing it to my
attention over and over again. And I appreciate that. I
also recognize, like, even as I make effort, and I
still encourage you to when you don't feel good about
how I'm delivering a message, say something. But I also
I'm a woman, and I'm not going to always be
(19:37):
perfectly packaged up. My emotions are not going to always
be perfectly packaged up. Sometimes they're going to range. I'm
shifting with the moon essentially, and I'm not making excuses,
but I'm just I know that you're able to hold
all of the emotions, and I'm not saying that I'm
putting that responsibility on you all the time, but I
(19:59):
do want you to know that, like I appreciate you
correcting the behavior, and we're gonna always be aiming for improvement,
and also that it's not always going to be perfect.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I will get angry, I will get.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Frust which is understandable in a range of emotions. But
I just want you to recognize and be aware that
as you're saying you want to get to the point,
or you're feeling some type of impatience, it's to what end, Like, Okay,
we are having a conversation, right, you don't feel like
(20:34):
the conversation is progressing, but we're still conversing, so we
can get to the point of finalizing or finishing or getting.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
To whatever end you feel is.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
There after the conversation ends, what next. There isn't some
grand there is going to be some grand solution to
what we're talking about. So trying to rush, trying to
get bullet point like having a bullet point conversation isn't
going to get you to some great solution. It's just
a conversation, right, So being impatient, it's about to come
(21:03):
out being impatient about being impatient about about about a
conversation doesn't help you faster succeed And whatever you're trying
to succeed succeed in is just a conversation. So whether
if it's a five minute conversation that stretches to fifteen minutes, right,
(21:26):
whether it ends at five minutes or whether it ends
at fifteen minutes or whether it ends at five hours,
whatever we're talking about isn't going to be completed today,
isn't going to be succeeded today. So rushing the conversation
doesn't get you closer to the success. Everything is a journey.
There is no timeline for all of this. You just
enjoy the moments that you're having. So see, but this
(21:53):
is the thing, right, you're not enjoying the time and
the conversations we're having. We're not even having a conversation
that's d and serious that needs to be rush. There's
no point that's coming that's going to have a million
dollars at the end of you making the point or
me making the point.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
So the point. So so to.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Rush or to get past it, or to get to
to get it over with doesn't doesn't get you closer
to any success. So there's no point in rushing when
you can also just enjoy the conversation for what it is,
for how the person is trying to explain it to you,
for the way that they speak, because they don't speak
the same way as you. I don't speak the way
(22:33):
you speak. You don't speak the way I speak. You
also you speak in bullet point conversation, but you're also
not very clear. I try.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, you think that, which is great.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I'm happy that you think language.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Yes, because when I'm trying to explain, which is yeah,
because you speak in these bulletpoint conversations and feel like
you can short sentence things, and because you understand it
that I'm just gonna get it by the way that
you say, and I don't.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I don't get it, And then when I have to.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Ask you to repeat it or we have to, I
have to dive into certain details so I can fully
understand where you're coming from, so that after you tell
me what you got to say, there is no mistakes
on my part because I fully understand where you're coming from.
Then it seems like the conversation is going longer than
it needs to. But really what's happening is you're speaking
in this bullet point formation and there's point there's details
(23:22):
missed in these in this formation, in this conversation, so
I don't understand that, and then now I have to
ask more questions, which makes.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It go further further. The conversation go longer than it
needs to, and I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
But you're not seeing that the thing that you don't
like and the thing that's avoidable is being brought on
by yourself, how by bullet point conversations or not I'm not.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
I'm speaking I'm not. I'm speaking directly and clearly and you.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
From your point of view, and which is why I'm
saying that, because you think that you're speaking clearly from
your point of view, it's not very clear because they're
or details missing in what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
There was not a single detail missing in anything that
I was talking.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
About in your opinion, your point of view, which is
what I'm trying to make you understand.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
In the future, I have a solution.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
I think we discussed this before, but we haven't discussed
it lately, and it is maybe there is a.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Were you reaching for something for you to finish there.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Maybe there's a.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Lot a argument safe word where the argument just ceases
at that moment, was it not?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Avocado avocado?
Speaker 4 (24:41):
So that we can just take a hard stop reset
and maybe come back to it in person or an hour,
and so we can think it through, dissect clearly what
we're both taking from the conversation, because obviously in these
instances we were taking two totally different things.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
From the con But I also want you to recognize
that the grace and patients that you're asking for from me,
I've given, which is why when I've come to understand
how you speak and how you go about communicating.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
So you've asked me for grace.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
And this patient and when you don't, when you're giving
information and you're having conversation and I'm not even really
clear about what you're trying to say or is not
very clear about what you're trying to communicate to me,
I've taken instead of just going like yo, you're not
making any sense or stopping at you, I've taken the
extra steps to go, okay, well, can I ask you
a question about this so I can understand more, so
(25:36):
I can understand fully, because trust me, when I say,
it is not as clear as you think it is.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
You know how many times I've been around you, even
saying stuff that I totally am like what the fuck
you're saying, and other people are like, that's literally not
what you said. I think that you don't recognize so
much sometimes when you're not.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Getting to the point okay, but you are, I can
understand that you feel like I'm not getting to the point. Cool,
But then if you don't feel like I'm getting to
the point, yelling or being reactive is not going to
get us to the point any faster.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Okay, well, avocado, We're gonna go with avocados in the
future when there was a point of contention or a
conversation that's gone too far left, we can do the
one of us can do the neutral thing of dropping
the A word emergency. A emergency is good and save
(26:39):
the argument, save save the conversation from becoming an argument
with the emergency a word, because I do have a
fuse and I'm not saying I'm perfect, but there's like,
and I've just been around a lot of niggas that
talk in circles trying.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
And I'm like, I need you.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
To get to the point, Mila, in a space where
we're going to be together for the rest of our lives.
And that's the other thing you need to stop. I'm
not comparing remembering, okay, but then you need to work
on realizing that you are not in the same situations,
which takes me back to our sponsor of recognizing where
(27:24):
you are and being present to write this down, being present.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
The emergency right down.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
We're going to make We're going to make a digital
a digital purchase, and it's called how to how to
resolve an argument quickly clickly the emergency Kit.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Emergency Kit, Argument Emergency Argument Emergency Kit a E c'm
ak ae K.
Speaker 6 (27:52):
The Argument Emergency Kit will be available at your nearest
online store in fourteen to thirty days because this is
something we all could use, including us.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
The Argument Emergency Kit sponsored by f y C.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
What was it was?
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Ky C?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Keeping your cool?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
It's like jelly.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Keep the conversation lubricating. You don't want that drash. Don't
row dog the conversation. Luber it up with ky because
as soon as it gets hot.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
You got burned.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You're looking, you know that.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
You know what the argument STD.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
The one that stays at you forever.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
When you know what happens when an argument STT stays
with you forever, you can't get.
Speaker 5 (28:46):
Rid of it.
Speaker 6 (28:47):
No matter how many times you guys have intellectual intercourse,
it's still looming in the back somewhere. You're nervous, your
anxieties up, and you can't think of anything else except
that motherfucking conversation STD. Argument STD that you you didn't
let go up because you didn't.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Use ky C.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
Baby, Okay, argument emergencies, kid, but yeah, starting with the
safe avocado, sorry.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Safe for Avocado. You're your your starter kit, the Avocado
started kit. All I'm saying is in the grand scheme
of how we're going to be doing this for the
rest of our lives, Babe, there is no rush. There
is no there is no one thing to hurry up
and get to. There is no one conversation that's gonna
(29:39):
succeed and get us to wherever we need to go.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
It's just a conversation. It's just two people talking.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
And honestly, I also am in no fucking rush because
I was so goddamn bored at work today that every
single conversation I had today I stretched to the fucking
limits whatever I could talk about.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Now there's some clarity.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, but I didn't think it was that to say,
hey baby, I'm so goddamn bored.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
I'm doing No, I'm not that one. Call it a homeboy.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Okay, Now I know. I gotta Can we be?
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Can we be?
Speaker 1 (30:17):
What can What I was gonna SAYN could be communicative police,
I can just.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Have other people.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
I could talk hey no, no, no, no, there's no
sex or anything.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
I'm just calling it.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Talk to this.
Speaker 6 (30:31):
This is where this is where we started actually in
our relationship.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
This is actually ringing some bells. First of all, I
know you're bored at fucking work.
Speaker 6 (30:41):
Because you be calling me allday talking about nothing.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
You at the gym, you at homework, and I'm like, hey,
stretching my words, Hey babe.
Speaker 6 (30:51):
I am eighty yeah, man, if you understand about eighty HD, but.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
My mind is moving.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
We gotta get you pose maybe, or we might.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
I need an ADHD couples couple specialists there. I mean, other
than fucking thrive that I might need to get back on. Literally,
when something this is not just you, by the way,
sometimes I do, even with Luna, Like when someone's talking
to me and they're like not getting to the point,
and my mind is literally like all the tabs open
(31:21):
in my brain, or thinking about all the tabs open
on my computer and the things that I haven't done
and what times, and like my brain is moving one
hundred miles per hour. So when someone is talking really
fucking slow or just talking in fucking circles, it is
literally like someone's nails on a fucking chalkboard. For me
(31:41):
to even respond in a manner that makes any sense.
I need you to get to the point rather faster
than I'm bored and I don't have shit else to
do and talk about.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
It is really important.
Speaker 4 (31:53):
And I'm saying this for someone who literally my mind
is moving one hundred times an hour, and I probably
need to invest in meditating more often on a regular basis,
probably three times a day morning, like stretch, tune and
dinner because it is really intense. And I read somewhere
that after a certain age for women, the ADD and
(32:13):
ADHD increases like tenfold, and I feel that and it sometimes, really, honestly, it.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Makes me feel because in your late thirties, shut.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
The fuck up.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I'm in my mid thirties and I'm fine as hell,
And honestly, like I was saying, is it really makes
me feel crazy sometimes sometimes, nigga, is it me or
the person who's bored at work and trying to fucking
take it from No, No.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I'm not crazy.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
No no, no, no, I'm not crazy.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I'm bored, well bored.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Say I'm bored. I just want to talk.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I called you at nine thirty a m. And I
was just chit chatting. That'll that will show you on board.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
The next time I'm gonna say you're bored and I can't.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
But hey, are you bored right now. Yes, maybe I
got shit to do at work at this moment. I
just want to chit and chat to you because I know, guys,
damn well, you ain't doing shit either.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
I'm sleep. Leave me the fuck alone.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
What the fuck do you mean I'm doing lot, I'm
thinking about things.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
I'm doing thinking face.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Go to YouTube YouTube love like this.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I think you want to bubba fucking blood vessel ahead,
leave me alone.
Speaker 6 (33:26):
The amount of times this is all making so much,
but clarity is just rain.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Oh yeah, when you're not having bullet point conversations and
we got some clarity, you get to the details.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
You can keep conversations. I just see people get to
the point. There's another morning at eight am.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
You wanted to bring up some shit at eight am,
and I was like, my nigga.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
It was like six thirty in the morning.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
To seven. I don't know if you noticed.
Speaker 6 (33:49):
I am not a morning person, just because I'm dropping
your black ass off to work at five thirty am,
which again not not something I would I would recommend
for someone of my nighttime capacity.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
And I am.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
A night crawling night fairy, hot water jacuzzi, hot springs
mermaid type of bitch, okay, nighttime, warm water, species okay,
bullet point communications, diet, carbs and fruit and salads, Okay.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
You don't know my species.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
And I understand your's just a mere human.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
I'm just a.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Man.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
So this is me this.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
I'm happy we're getting here, because when you're dealing with
the feminine, when you're dealing with a divine feminine, you're
dealing with a night fairy witch, hot springs mermaid, there's
certain things that you maybe haven't.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Been fully like comprehensive and my ovulating.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Is my period about six? Is it six am?
Speaker 6 (34:59):
Is it nine thirty A? Did this bitch just open
her motherfucking eyes?
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Did she just say you want I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Hold your car, have a quick conversation. Can I inject
real quick, I'm not gonna hold you that conversation at
six thirty am. I definitely like sat on it for
ten minutes and I was like now the time, No,
I was like, this.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Is not gonna go.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Well whoa, Wow, Like this is not gonna go.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Well, finally here we go.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Let's go.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
It's lying and coming forward.
Speaker 4 (35:34):
Wow, this is what we have to do to get
to the fucking honest cord.
Speaker 6 (35:37):
Truth is sit in front of a microphone. I did
a good media let me hold on. Now, that's what
I say going to Joel past that I knew You're
gonna be fucking irritated, but I proceeded.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
I said, I knew, I knew it was not gonna
go well.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Why thirty the morning and you just dropped me out
that morning too.
Speaker 6 (35:58):
You have to drive back, Ladies and gentlemen. This is
the type of ship that I am talking about. It's
not that I.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Don't have patience or compassion. It's when a motherfucker says,
I know this is probably not gonna go well, but
I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Anyway, and.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Then when they get the fucking reaction that they probably
foresaw coming.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
I deserve. You're talking to me like you know me
like this?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
My mama is it talks to me like this at
six thirty in the morning.
Speaker 6 (36:31):
Don't fucking flap my knee, nigga.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Don't you fucking he oh man.
Speaker 6 (36:40):
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a nigga knowing his
bitch and still proceeding to intentionally piss.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Her the fuck You had to have the conversation.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
No, And like I said that morning at six thirty
the morning, Nigga, I just was with you all the
motherfucking day long and night.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
Why are you choosing?
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah, you were off you like I was with you.
We had sex, we laughed, and now I don't want
three days.
Speaker 6 (37:02):
You're like, yeah, I know it's been seventy two hours,
but you remember seventy two hours.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
No, nigga, I don't why bring it up at the
moment I did. I'm just really recollected. Baby, I'm not
even yelling.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I'm not arguing. I just want to talk.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
You.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
No, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
I need you to have more in the moment self awareness,
and I need you to have more not only self awareness,
but like I need you to take more accountability.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Well, I take account No, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
It's not even it's about the accountability that I recognize
that this conversation probably is not going to go well
for these reasons, and I pers and I proceed to
have them, and then when I react me, when I react,
then there's all this up.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Oh don't it's my favorite one.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to be talk
to you at six thirty.
Speaker 6 (38:01):
In the morning, okay, even on the way to work,
I don't say ship.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Do you notice, Okay, stop listening, It's okay.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
And this is this is the like, this is the
volume in which she cannot handle. Yeah, but this is
my regular volume when I'm just having a regular conversation.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
It is you're nice and sweet and you're kind of
hold my hand. Let's let's connect. You're warm and there's
no you don't need to be that way.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
And then he's like, oh, you're so cold.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Now, no, you are cold, and this you could be
a real bitch. No, come on, stop you and you
know that, you know that when you some.
Speaker 6 (38:34):
One puts baby in a corner and then I'm a
real bitch.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Don't be surprised when you're a real bitch. I'm a
real ass bitch.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
Let's connects connect and I'm I have two parents from
Philly and you've you've.
Speaker 6 (38:47):
Dated Hella, hood rats from the Bronx and.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Queen Wow, whoa hey, come on or unhood rats all
black women shut up.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
New York women are not soft. East Coast women are
not soft.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Jamaican women at that time Jamaican.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
I am literally all of the above.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
I'm not in that space anymore, which brings me back
to our sponsor you make present my mom. We are
not in that space anymore, but I will I will,
all right, so we're not that listeners, I will say
I would be very honest. I was like, I'm so
happy for a recording today because I know this is
(39:26):
going to go very well and we're gonna fucking be
able to work through this.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Because there's one.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Thing that will help us work through some ship is
fucking podcasting about it.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
It shouldn't have to come to this for you to say, honestly,
I know I did some ship that I knew it
was gonna irritate you.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
No, no, no, no to stop no no no no. I
didn't say I knew I was doing I knew I
was doing something I was gonna irritate you. I said
that I know this might not go well. Still needs
to happen.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
It still needs to happen. It's an important.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
Conversation, listen.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
I mean, let me be clear.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
I want to thank our sponsors today for sponsoring this episode.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
I want to close this and saying my hours of arguments.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Are between no. Please let me know this is very important.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
Eleven am and for thirty pm.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Five hour yep, okay, five and a half.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
Five Fridays through Friday.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Can we push this to six thirty sure? Eleven am
to six thirty pm.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
Thirty six thirty pm.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Okay, because at the six thirty I want to focus
on the gym and cooking food. I don't want to
do none of that dump sure okay?
Speaker 2 (40:31):
All right?
Speaker 4 (40:32):
Also not not for not four to seven days before
my period?
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Who knows when that comes? Where you be fucking acting?
See distant, cold and distant?
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Bring it back? Stay warm. You have to stay connected.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
This is how we You don't be here, got to
stay connected. All I'm saying is all right, fine, eleven
am to six thirty pm. And oh, can I give
a a primp a warning like hey, later on today
I want can you?
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Okay? Okay?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
So I need to I need to contact HR yep, okay,
got it?
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Maybe the text Hi, this is Orlanday.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
We need to create a.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Form argument for argument for requests argument request form.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
You feel this out?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for the before the convers subject.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
We should write that out an argument request form.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Put that down in your notes, put that down in
the thing argument requests for.
Speaker 7 (41:32):
An argument request in the digital downloads. Yeah, and then
it could be it could be the subject the participants
arguing and the safe word, and in a.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Few notes, a couple of bullet points for the points.
Can we get it?
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
That's good. I like this. I like this.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Can you would be so proud.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Of the argument requests argument request form making that tonight.
I need to take cant on ability in the moment
when you know it to be true, and not a week.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Later when well, I can't take an accountability when you
keep yelling at me?
Speaker 5 (42:07):
Why am I yelling? Because you knew to begin with.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
The accountability or the yelling? Which one came first?
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Right?
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Accountability for why I'm yelling?
Speaker 4 (42:21):
I guess we're not gonna talk about camping today.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Everyone willing to thank you so much. This is love,
like this, but before, during it, after and falling in love.
Speaker 4 (42:32):
I'm going to make a hypno meditation for when you
and your partner get into it, get into a conflict
and a disagreement. You guys can just pop that. You
can say your emergency word. You can pop that on
reset and try again.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Listen, no more calling me a gas lighter. Stop that
that is not true.
Speaker 6 (42:50):
That typically gaslighting me today and I realized as the
cancer in the relationship to a lying ass.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I want to thank our sponsors for today's episode.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Your roots to just fucking can fusing Lions, and I
have to pull you out.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
K y C, You guys, you're cool the brand keeping
your cool. Shout out to y'all. Go to KYC dot
com to keep your cool and find out. I also
want to thank our other sponsor, one of my favorite
sponsors of being present, being present, Stay where you are,
Stay where you're at now where you used to be
being present, Recognize how beautiful your life is right now.
(43:23):
Is any of the sponsors that we want to shout
out while we're here and shout out to Mila Mones.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Perfect reset for your argument or.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Day Yes a moon of day keeping.
Speaker 5 (43:36):
Keeps the therapist.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
What the fuck did I say? I said some fire
shit about not dying. It was keep the death.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Anyway. The point is I am Orlando.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
You can follow me on all socials at w H
Underscore Orlando Roy. You can follow my beautiful fiance right
here Mila Map that Mila Underscore Map, listen to her
other main podcasts is just her side Bitch podcast that
she's on right now her main potcast, Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Sign up to the Good Vibe Retreat. They're going to
Bolli real soon. I think they have one spot left open. Yeah, Yo,
(44:06):
get on it, Get on it, Get on.
Speaker 4 (44:08):
So follow us at Houcci Mom and Dad on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
And if you want to watch us on YouTube and
see our hilarious takes and our high fives and moaning
and stuff like that, you go on YouTube at love
like This. Listen to us love like this, Share it
with everybody else.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Love like this.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
This the before, during, and after a falling in love
and we love y'all.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
Bye, peace Lah like this
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