Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Allah like this, y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
We had quite a night, didn't we. This is Divorce
Proof Club, Okay, season seven. I got Jamila and Orlando
from the podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Let them know your podcast real quick again so they
get over there and get it all.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
We are Jareal Orlando of the Love Like this podcast.
We talked about the before, during, and after falling in love,
having conversations about our own love and experiences, and being
an example so that other people can see how we
love and customize their relationship to their own perfection that
they need for themselves.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Right, you guys are at week number eight. For those
who don't know me, my name is Kenya K. Stevens.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I am the best love coach on this planet. I
run the Divorce Proof Club. I've written up level communication
and nine expressions of love with my delicious husband of
thirty years this summer.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Kyle.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Y'all got to meet him tonight in our club. I'll
tell me all the good Tell me what you thought
of my husband, Orlando. Hey, he took the guys to
one side, right, and then I took the ladies. You're
gonna give us some secrets of what happened over there
or at least tell us how it was.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Carl is a gem, I'll say that much. He was great.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
He's he's very good at explaining in a calm way
that like really cuts through everything and like you can
get it. And then like even after his explanation, like
his with your follow up questions, he's very good like
navigating how to like.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Get you to get it.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
And yeah, yeah, he's just a really good conversational list
I can see why, like, y'all, communication is really good
because he can really sit and listen and also repeat
and explain very well. So it was really good.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Oh my gosh, he's my best friend on the planet.
And it's just it's been credible to have children. I mean,
just think of a household like we. It was just
it's been wonderful. I'm so glad you got to experience him.
And who's that, Oh, that's say him coming, you're coming
on our podcast. He's coming upstairs to my room. You know,
(02:19):
we have separate bedrooms. My husband's bedroom is on the
third floor. My bedroom's on.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
The fourth floor.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
And yeah, anyways, so how was it for you, Jamila
to get with the ladies tonight?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
We separated the men's and the women folks. It was nice.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
It was nice to hear, you know, women talk women's stuff,
and to compare our our batteries and our roles and
what's difficult for us and why and compare. We're all
in different places in our relationship, I feel like, so
it was nice to just see where our common spaces were,
to hear from you, to hear from them, to support
(02:58):
each other.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
So it was nice.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
That's good. You all know that.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I love the fact that you're here and getting these tools,
because now you're gonna have the decision making tool. Tonight,
we did battery everybody. So I'm gonna just show them.
Y'all already know, but I'm gonna show them a little
tidbit of what we worked on together. I do have
wonderful slides that I always uh, you know, when I
(03:27):
was little, Jamila, I used to always be the teacher.
Remember y'all play teacher. I was always the teacher. Did
you think that rubbed off or like, I don't.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Know, nearly it stuck. That was a really manifestation.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I've manifestive being the teacher. Now I actually get to
make slides.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
But the importance of decision making in relationships did y'all
know that most of us.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Don't have a decision making thing? Like, who made the
decisions in your home growing up? Orlando?
Speaker 4 (04:11):
My mom. I was raised with a single mom, so
she made all the decisions.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
So how did that affect you as a man or
a boy or a man? I guess growing up? Like,
did you expect women to make the decisions in your relationships?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
No?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
It affected me like quite negatively because like my mom
has have answers for things that she didn't have any
answers for, so she kind of just like she just
had to do something, and I just I guess I
saw how like one person having to do everything isn't
isn't the way to go about things, and how it
(04:54):
could justive negative be the impact not only yourself but
anybody else that's like close around you, because we none
of us have the capacity to do it all.
Speaker 7 (05:05):
Okay, well, who made the decisions in your house, Jamila,
because that doesn't sound what you went through, Orlando sounds
like you need a total rewire.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yeah. Yeah, that basically that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I had to rewire and structure or actually come up
with my own way of going about things that I
didn't have anybody to show me like how to go
about it, so a new decisions had to be made.
I just didn't know how to go about it. So
I just had to go through life and just figure
and like put together my own structure or way of
like making decisions or going about things in life.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Which is why I.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Love that we're doing the battery, because I finally get
some type of like orbital structure and how to go
about things more decently.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, Jamila, who made the decisions in your house? Growing up?
Speaker 5 (05:54):
I feel like there was a lot of communication issues
in my house.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Maybe my mom did, but then my dad.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Would make decisions behind her back, and so it was
a lot of conflict and communication conflict. One time, my
mom told me I couldn't go to Paris in the
twelfth grade because I was gonna miss school, and my
dad bought the ticket anyway, and I woke up for
school and she thought she was taking me for school
and I only him and I knew that he was
taking me to the airport, and she fucking flipped out.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
But I went to Paris.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
But the point is it wasn't very clear and nobody
was in good communication, so it just wasn't seamless.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Wow, well, y'all have killed two birds with one stone
because we did communication first and now decision making like
complete generational switch.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, you will not carry those generational patterns. That is deep.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Your father fought for you, but I'm sure like that
was still traumatic, like you know, sneaking around going to Paris,
you speaking.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
Around in my household.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Yeah, and then you I guess you can kind of
always feel like there's gonna be some type of detriment
in any decision making that you made, because like even something,
because the decision makings always came across sneakingly and in
a negative space.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
It was never cohesive, it was it was Yeah, my
dad would sneak out like it was just a mess.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
So I can see how like decision making for you
can always feel like a sype of hindrance.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Well I didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah, Oh, where you can start to see like what
what where her patterns are Like, yeah, it feels like
your mother wanted to make all the decisions, but your
dad had to sort of sneak and do what he
But do you feel like you took on your mother's
mantle of I'm in charge.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Yeah sometimes.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
And also I saw my mom also not be able
to make small decisions like call my dad in the
supermarket like smiles, should I get this bean or this bean?
And I was like, come on now, just pick a bean.
And that also frustrated. So it was just like not
very clear she was codependent, but also wasn't in partnership,
so it.
Speaker 6 (08:09):
Disin fragmented.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I don't know, that's deep.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
So what we did with everyone here is we showed
them our decision making tool. And our decision making tool
is called the battery, so it really takes nine archetypes
and takes them through a wheel of decision making. And
this is what the guys and the gals went in
tonight to discover and we don't hear and you guys
(08:36):
can attest to this here at Progressive Love Academy. We
don't care if you have a penis or vagina. You know, like,
if you want to get into more dominant masculine roles
in the decision making Battery, you can. If you want
to get into more feminine submissive, because there's feminine dominant,
feminine submissive, feminine neutral, you can be wherever you want
(08:59):
on this chart.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
But you gotta be in a lane.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
What did you all value most about really discovering these
nine archetypes and the battery.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
I'm just being clear about who is comfortable doing what
and what our roles are, and just overall day to
day things and our goals long term and short term,
and just even separating with you today, Kenya, being more
clear about how I can be more in certain characteristics,
(09:31):
certain embodiments of the devotee. The conservational is the lover
where it lacks, where I'm lacking softness or femininity in ways,
And so just seeing it clearly on paper with definite
definitions is definitely something that makes it easier to.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
No, to like actualize.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yep, and to integrate. I mean, geez, I can't know.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I don't know how we have gone so long not
having these bases, Like, I don't know, because what would
you say to men who are like, what is the battery?
How would you explain it to a man who's just
sort of off the cuff asking you what the fuck
(10:20):
is this?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
This is the proper conversation of asking somebody what do
you bring.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
To the table? This is this is the better way of.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Asking, like, how do you bring to because I really
see a lot online of like just that conversation of like, well,
what do men do? Men protect and provide women they're
nurturing and soft, and it's like yeah, but but.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
What do you do?
Speaker 6 (10:47):
What do we all bring to make the table stand
up with four fucking legs?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah, it just feels very generalized and they could be
like so many different ways to the point now where
I was like, well, maybe protecting and providing isn't the
modern way of like how a man shows up because
we all need to protect each other at the time,
we all need to provide something and so and men
all need to be nurturing in some type of way.
So in what way does this help provide? And how
(11:13):
can you like optimize and use this chart for me personally?
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (11:20):
It was this chart was confirming for us because we
have our own ways of like doing things where Mila
might come with the idea or pick something that she
thinks would looks nice and beautiful and now be the
one to be the soldier or be the one to
like execute and actually put it up somewhere that actually
makes sense. So we all have our roles, but without
like actually seeing it in.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
A healthy way.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
And seeing it out like visually in front of us,
we may just think like, well, you chose the thing,
so you put it up too, and it's like, that's
not really how it works. We all have to like
intertwine and be woven in some type of way to
where you have some you have some roles or parts
in this decision making or coming to this goal. And
(12:02):
I have my roles in this and it's okay to
have roles within this space, and we all.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Just optimize on those roles.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
And I think that if I had like proper communication
or proper decision making or see better examples of that
when I was younger, I would have been able to
optimize on these things earlier in life, and not now
when I'm like thirty four.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
So It'samila, can you imagine, Orlando, can y'all imagine knowing
this all? Everybody knowing this basic stuff from like age five,
and then you get into relationships at thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,
and you're already you know, moving in this and understanding this.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
So at least you know. Because I didn't tell y'all that.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Oh, we're gonna go into it next week. I don't
want to tell you, but just an easy piece of this.
The monk coming up with what we want, what is
our objective, and the visionary coming up with how to
achieve it.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
That's a basic.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Balance of power between what we think of as masculine
and feminine.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But how many of.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Our fathers thought that I'm the man, I'm supposed to
know what we're going to do and how we're gonna
do it.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Right, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah, So the battery, guys, we can't say much about it.
They know, Like, I'm not even showing the page because
I don't want to be irresponsible.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
If you want to know.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
About the battery, Like, if people watching this want to
know about the battery, what this is, you got to.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Come and get it.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I don't like giving it to nobody who don't know
up level yet, because you're gonna argue about your battery
if you're not using, if you don't know when you're
ego speaking. So in that way, our tools sort of
fit together in a certain order. But you guys have
done the work. It's I don't have much to say
about it this week. I just am happy that you
(13:59):
guys are here. Next week we're moving into your next tool.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
So I don't know. I don't know what questions to
ask her, what to say?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
What do you guys want to say before we go
as the after party?
Speaker 6 (14:14):
Hey, I have a question. Would you say that the
nine like deits or characteristics or how do you say?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Like?
Speaker 6 (14:26):
No, like, what do you call these?
Speaker 4 (14:28):
These?
Speaker 6 (14:29):
All these characters.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Archetypes, All these archetypes are archetypes of the higher self.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
They're archetypes. Archetypes are all three. I mean, you guys,
think of the way they did archetypes and pammet it
was an animal head a human it may be a
human body, and it's a divine trait.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
Okay, all of them because we're all okay.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, so they didn't like animals as negative like your
animal is a negative thing.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
It was a part of your godliness.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
So yeah, it's all three and ego animal, higher self
represented in each archetype.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I will say that I think this specific tool will
be most helpful for men because I think that we
we work very well when we can have something that
we can actually take and implement in our physical world
and in our relationship, Like we can say, hey, this
(15:35):
is your role, these are my roles. We're gonna play
to our strengths and we're gonna get to whatever goal
fast as we can, as best as we can, and
really optimize on it. And another thing that we were
discussing when we're doing the men's group was how how
customizable it could be. Like one of these archetypes were
(15:56):
was the was a leader, and so a leader I
feel more. I feel really aligned with the leader where
I can be like the manager and see like, okay,
you you do this, you do this, like this is
how we're gonna get to this goal. But I was
also saying in the in the men's group that I'm
(16:17):
like a majority owner in that archetype for being a leader,
so I can come up with the decision making.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
At the end of it, I can.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Hold the responsibility because I made the decision, but I
will still come to Mila and ask her input and
asks her opinion on things.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
So it's not like, hey, this is your role.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
You take hundred percent of that role, and when you're
finished with the role, then you come to me and
it's like, no, we can all have like our percentage
of like how much we're intertwined into whatever whatever archetype
it is. So like if she's she's mostly like the
lover and she can see like how brain and beautiful
it is. And if she comes to me and goes, hey,
you know, I really love this idea. It's so amazing,
(16:56):
it's so beautiful. We should really go forward to it,
and I'm like, okay, yeah, that is cool. It's like
she didn't hear no. So she's like, you know, you
don't love it as much as I think as much
as I hear you loving it, but I know it's
a great idea and this is my space, so we're
going to go forward.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
And it's like, well, it's your decision to go forward.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
This is your archetype, and regardless of like my opinion,
if you truly believe in it, then when it comes
to me being the visionary next that I'm gonna take it.
I'm gonna see it because I believe in you being
the majority owner of that archetype, and I believe in
what you're saying. So you kind of have to also
believe in the process of like your own partner and
(17:36):
the archetype that they own a what archetype they feel
strongly too, and they also have to believe in your process.
But you can have a moment of like still taking
their opinion or to taking their suggestions within your own archetype.
So it's beautiful that it can all be customized in
whatever way works best for you. But having the foundation
(17:58):
of this chart is really is so good.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Do you remember all the time that we spent it
was just maybe a short period of time with men
saying men and women aren't equal?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Do you remember that little short period in red Pill?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yep, it's a little I mean it may have been
like eight months, you know, are going back about.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Who who, who gets the firm, who chases the firm,
who needs who makes the baby, who makes the sex?
Speaker 6 (18:24):
Who's more important than like nigga?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
We need both obviously, But it's just it's.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
So cool now that we can feel it as a
condensed conversation that we're all having, and there was an end,
a beginning, a middle, and an inn. Then it was
the next thing we experience time like that now, like
we remember talking about that back in the day like this. Anyways,
during that phase when the women and men are equality stuff,
I was just thinking about the battery.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Like what do they talk about? This is like do
you see now?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
And I think that's why he's saying men would get
do well on this because it's so clear the importance
and the power of these feminine spaces. They are equally
important power as these masculine spaces, which are equally important
in power forwards these androgenist spaces.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Yeah, it is no man or woman or that doesn't
exist when it comes to roles. And if we could
release that, we could honor what we're actually good at,
and then we could come together and create and birth
things that are that matter.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
We need to put each.
Speaker 5 (19:34):
Other's roles and it doesn't have shit to do with
your genitals, per se. And you can just respect your
partner for what they're good at and come together to
birth the things that you both agree to, right right.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Oh oh, And another thing that I thought of was
this is a great way to not burn out and
not be drained because.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
You don't think you have to do it all by yourself.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Yes, yes, because.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I used to be easily in these I mean I
think women, you can easily get up here at the top,
don't you, Jamila.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
That's what we discussed in our group, is that a
lot of the women have who've been functioning so highly
in the top that when it's time to get into
the softer, more feminine devotee lever, it's difficult for us.
It's difficult, and it's hard to release those top those
top archetypes to our men because we've so diligently had
(20:26):
to be in those spaces, and so it is, you know,
it's a reprogramming on our part as well, because socially,
we've all been fucked without having a system, without having
a system that promotes equality, that promotes partnership, that promotes
getting to the next level and birthing something and growth,
I think, and a lot of us don't even realize,
(20:47):
like a lot of these dumbass conversations and propaganda that
we're hearing is intentionally so that we do not come
together and manifest during fucking and get closer to the goal,
because that's how you keep people dumb, broke and dis
and disenfranchised.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
You need to come together and have partnerships. And the
only way you could do that is I respect each other.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
And there's a system in order to to pop out
whatever the fucking envision is.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah, thank you, WHOA both of y'all are on far
with them and oh go ahead.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
A beautiful question that was posed in the men's group
was do you ever feel like when women have to
do a certain amount of this work that it kills
their sex drive? And we were like, yeah, we can
see how it comes up. And something that I post
to the men was that sometimes it's not even the archetype,
(21:39):
it's just something within the archetype that's making them making
that sex drive like be reclused or dropped down. Like
maybe the archetype for a woman. A woman's archetype might
be negotiator with like they're bragging and they're talking about
all the things that we accomplished and really making you
feel good about it. But if she had to do
the soldier before it, then I don't got the time
to be I don't have to and the soldier is
(22:00):
not really here stremp, then I don't have the time
or energy to be to give to the negotiator. So
when you really figure out like what roles and what strengths,
and maybe even within those archetypes and knowing them, you
can figure out what is in that that's really killing
my sex draft Because maybe I love being the soldier,
but there's something within the soldier that's happening that's really
(22:21):
killing it for me. And then I don't have that
part of me to give to my partner. So once,
just knowing all of these really gets you to understand
where it's. This is the issue or is it something else,
Just like all the other things that upload.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
I'm so excited to hear you understand that so clearly.
I mean when you talk about leader, soldier, negotiator, this
is what they learned tonight, y'all. Monk, devotee, conservationist, lever,
and visionary. It is a easy, magical square. You understand,
there's only nine numbers in the whole universe, you know
what I'm saying, and these are it. And so we
(22:57):
just look at them in juxtaposition to each other and
we say, wow, well you understand how do they work together?
They can work like this, They can work like this,
And we just showed them the science of how they
work together.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
More to come. I am so excited.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
As always, I don't want to get too deep into
the mysteries. I just want to say that we are
teaching them proud and loud at the Progressive Love Academy
also at Pantheon, and.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
We love it. Jamila and Orlando love it.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Y'all would love it too, if you're interested to go
to Progressive Love Academy. One thing that I was going
to say to Jamila is she was so surprised tonight
when I was sharing some of the feminine stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
But our mothers didn't. They didn't, Jamila, they didn't. I
don't want to say nothing bad about my mom.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I'm just saying like, they did not teach us the
feminine the powers of those feminine deities, did they No.
Speaker 6 (24:01):
I think a lot of the things we see is feminine.
Have we've been taughtter week?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Thank you so tonight the women got the powers of
those feminine deities, and I'm just so honored. Thank you all.
Per usual, we will see you again next week. We
try to make it short and sweet. Tonight we went
over because at Progressive Love Club, I mean at Divorce
Proof Club, we want success, so we didn't time it.
(24:29):
We just took it to the end, and we appreciate
you staying up so late.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
We'll see you again next week
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Like this