December 3, 2025 • 41 mins
Listen as Milah & Orlando discuss their experience with pre-marital coaching.
Social: @Milah_Mapp @Wh_orlandoroye @Hoochiemomanddad @Progressive_love_academy
Patreon: Patreon.com/LoveLikeThis
Social: @Milah_Mapp @Wh_orlandoroye @Hoochiemomanddad @Progressive_love_academy
Patreon: Patreon.com/LoveLikeThis
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Like this. All right, guys, we are live again.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
It is Thursday night, and yes we have some couples
from Divorce Proof Club. We are going to do our
after party because we already did the club.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
We meet every.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Thursday night at seven pm with twelve couples. We always
start out with twelve couples in Divorce Proof Club, but
sometimes the work gets heated and some people may not
want to continue for the whole twelve weeks. Why we'll
talk about that tonight. My name is Kenya K. Stevens.
I am the world's best love coach and I love
(00:42):
to work with couples, stop divorces and sure up marriages
that would otherwise without tools all apart. We don't need
y'all following apart. That's why I'm here cotin you for
the whole twelve weeks. And I really do love what
I do. So what we do tonight and what we
do every Thursday night is we interview Jamila and Orlando.
(01:03):
They are part of Divorce Proof and they are at
week number.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Ten now, so they are on and popping.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
They have they have gone through the hard parts out
and we have a special guest couple. We got Chris
and Shanny and I am just exuberant that they are
here with us as well.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
So we got two couples from Divorce Proof Club.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Now, y'all know, you gotta put your your questions into
the comments and I will make sure that they hear
your questions.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
But go ahead, let's talk y'all. Tonight was a big night.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It was like a transitional night where we moved from
just communication into the technique, the tectonics, the tectonics, the
underpinnings of relationships. What was your major takeaway from tonight, Orlando.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
That I think tonight was like the oh, now I'm
seeing how it all comes together.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Like, oh, now it all like it's just like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
The I think when somebody in the and the Girds
guys said it like he had like his like the
switch went off, like now he's trying to see and
then you can see where all the teachings from before
it all start to connect and see what you're saying about,
like how you get to disconnect from the western state
of mind and really also buy into not really buy
(02:28):
into because this is actually what you need, but really
see the importance and the strength and power of the
things that we've been saying, and so that's what that's
what today kind of felt like.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I'm so glad.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Did you feel like you would ever have that kind
of aha moment? Because I think some people and Shanny
and Chris can talk to after well, I want you
all to introduce yourself. But Orlando, when you see people
in relationships and the relationships are failing, you probably have
friends who had that. Do you feel like they think
there's some hope out there or some new way to
view things, something that might make a change, because usually
(03:03):
in my view, people be like, is.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Not we can do? And I'm like, why are they
saying that? Like they have tried nothing, you.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Know, except maybe a therapist or reading a book. I mean,
talk to us about that, Orlando.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I think the hope has always been in like this
thought of like there's one person out there for you,
Like the thought that, like there's somebody that's out there
that's gonna make this whole thing, everything that you're worried
about be okay, and then you can just lean on
that person and things is going to be fine. Like
the thought of, like hey, everybody's looking for love, to
look for that one person out there, and then when
(03:35):
you find that one person. There's so much pressure that
you put on them. You take all the things that
you're bringing with you and then you place it on
this one person. They just come into your life and
it's just like there's a lot of shit for me
to like clean up and clutter, like just just in our.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Like beginning of our meeting.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
So and then that also goes into putting the pressure
on somebody instead of realizing the pressure that's being put
on you is coming from like the system that you're
in and not the press. So the glory of the person,
but also all the blame goes to that one person
is really kind of unfair. But what I like about
like the things that we've learned here, especially today, is
(04:11):
that kind of for me, it's like kind of confirming
because I've always wondered, like, hey, you know, I think
it's better if like we play a role and we
all like play to our strengths instead of just feeling like, well,
you should be able to do all of these things
for me, and I should be able to do all
of these things for you, and then if it doesn't
work out, then fuck it.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
You can't do it. You're not the white person. Let's
keep going like, wow of pressure.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Now, if you guys want to hear more from Orlando
and Jamila, you know they're very open with their lives
on their podcast that Jamila is about to tell us
about and this she's going to tell us her takeaways
from tonight.
Speaker 6 (04:49):
Our podcast is called Love Like This.
Speaker 7 (04:52):
It's just about health, constructing your own healthy love and
what that looks like, interviewing other couples, other married couples,
other dating couples, paul couples, all the type of couples
that say, what the fuck.
Speaker 6 (05:02):
Are you doing over there? Is it working?
Speaker 7 (05:03):
And let's take notes? So that's going over on Love
Like This. It's on all podcast platforms and on YouTube.
Today's takeaway was like, first of all, while Kenya really
is that bitch, she's she's really shape shifting and shifting
people's perspectives. And I don't know, I just feel like
(05:26):
removing the cloak so that there's more in this.
Speaker 6 (05:29):
Today's class about the battery.
Speaker 7 (05:33):
It's really about the partnership I feel like, and how
we work in partnership. A lot of you know, in
today's time, everyone in twenty twenty five, it's like it's
my partner. It's not like your boyfriend or your husband
no more.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
It's the partner.
Speaker 7 (05:45):
But we lack the understanding of what that really, what
that looks like in movement and in action. And I
think a lot of times we like make roles in businesses,
but we forget to create roles in our relationships.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
And then execute those roles.
Speaker 7 (05:58):
You know, if you at work and somebody actually do
some shit that's not your job, you're gonna be like,
I'm bitch, asked Jenny, that's her job. But in relationships,
we tend to have like there's tends to be ego
and we're like I can do this and this, and
I was just telling her, like you know, and there's
always these very rigid roles around what role is for
women and what roles for men, And there's here there's
(06:19):
like I want a woman who knows how to listen
and who's probably eighteen and a half because she don't
talk back, But is do you want to fucking do
you want to blow up doll? But the reality if
you want partnership and you want a successful partnership or
successful entity or business, you have to know your roles
and respect and trust the person and the other role.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
And today that was really brought to light.
Speaker 7 (06:40):
And we had some couples today that I was concerned
aren't going to make it, and they were really they
came to the other side today and.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
I was like, right, Jesus, that is that bitch than us.
Speaker 7 (06:52):
And you see how the energy just shifts when people
start understanding each other and respecting each other's roles versus
telling each other.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
What to do.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Right.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
So it was it was beautiful.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
And just it's a tipt It really showed the how
the program helps build like that trust and how much
trust that you have to having somebody to be like
I'm letting you go and then.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
You take over this spot.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Because I think a lot of a lot of issues
that me and Mila had in the beginning when we
first like moved in together, was can I trust you
to get this done?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
And I can't trust you to get this done?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Is why I got to like micro manager, why I
gotta do some of it also, And it's like just
chill you, like realize this not only is an exercise
or something that can help you with like getting to
a goal, but it also can help you build trust
with each other.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Listen, I am excited to bring Chris. These are volunteers, y'all, Like,
like you said yourself, Jamila, this week watching those couples
come back, can you believe has a kaya and and
y'all say, I mean because last week we're all like,
oh gosh, we.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
We know, we don't know, but we know.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I know I've seen it and it's Danielle and Danielle
and Tie.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
You know it's just beautiful. So yes, we love that.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Chris and now Shanny on this call with us. That's
another advancement. Tell us, y'all, what's up? Introduce yourselves, tell
us how you've been in the club, and why you
decided to be in Divorce Proof Club, and why you
decided you're gonna go public tonight.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
What's up?
Speaker 5 (08:36):
Well, so we started off.
Speaker 8 (08:41):
And I'm Chris and we just two people trying to
make it work. However it works, and this is something
that we found at work. Everything else so far it
has its good size, but nothing seen to click like
this before.
Speaker 9 (08:58):
You keep It's like we have a deep love and
we've always known that very early, and we weren't ready
to get rid of it. We didn't know how to
maintain that with all the responsibilities of just becoming an
adult because we've been together since teenagers, so it was
a very hard transition. And we try, like you say,
a lot of things and I pass it back to you, baby.
Speaker 8 (09:16):
Yeah, we try a lot of things. And I mean,
I've had my feelings about the club. She's she's pretty
much been more in it than I have. But it's
been nothing but positive. Like and that's the best thing
I can really say. If it really teaches people how
to love, how to listen, how to allow, how to
(09:36):
feel like man, and once you really get that on
all levels, when everybody is running on all levels like that,
it just becomes a beautiful dance with your partner, like
you just dancing away life. And that's the best part
of it. You just you can you can accept so
much more about yourself and your partner.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Thank you Seanne and Chris for joining us tonight. So
takeaways from tonight You all are now stepping into battery
and I just love that you all. Well, let's show
the screen a little bit because people are probably like,
what the hell is she talking about?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Battery? What is battery? What is battery.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And this goes back to what I was saying with Orlando,
like people don't know that there are ways and things
that can be done differently than what we've learned in
the West. I feel like a lot of people are,
as Jamila said, focusing on the trad wife, like if
she were just a traditional wife, then we would be
(10:34):
able to do things, if she would submit, if she
would just you understand, like they think that the gender
war is about women not agreeing any longer to the rules.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Would you say that that's true? Shanny? May you repeat
the question one more time? Oh?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
No, I was just I wondered, did you hear the question, Jamila,
because it was Jamia point. She said that what's happening
today is it feels like men are saying that this
gender war would be over if women would just participate
in the traditional norms.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Do I agree with that?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah, I mean I do feel about that, about.
Speaker 9 (11:21):
That you're learning your decision making process through the battery
before that, I don't agree with that. I just feel
like we're not seen and the things that we bring
to the table, like Jamila said, are just not recognized
as it's powerful, just as powerful, you know, but in
your battery, it kind of shows like, hey, when you
are in your feminine, when you're relaxed enough and know
(11:43):
someone will be in the masculine to show up for
you in that way, you are able to kind of
relish in that role and it really supports your partner
or your lover in a different way. So the Western
way is I feel like it really suppresses and represses
who you are. But in this battery, in this structure
really helps you really to shine and to show up
(12:04):
for your family or for yourself in beautiful ways.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So that's my good good.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, So the battery for those who don't know, you know,
and again Orlando Sea, people don't know what's out there,
and they don't know that there is other alternatives. This
is an alternative to the thought that if you have
a vagina you should cook and clean and be submissive
to the man.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
I don't even think people know what that means. I
don't even think people know what submission means. Submission means
willing to learn, that's all. It means that you're receptive
to taking in information. But anyways, the battery is what
we're discussing tonight. It's a decision making tool that I
teach here at the Divorce Proof Club, and it supports
(12:49):
us in understanding the various spectrum of masculine energetics that
you can see here at the top. Because some people
talk about masculinity as if it's one thing. We think
of masculinity as a spectrum of energy. Right when you
learned about masculinity, Orlando, what was it that you thought
(13:10):
masculinity was?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
If it's if it's one thing?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
So when I what was the beginning part of it?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
When you learned about masculinity? What did you think that
it meant?
Speaker 3 (13:23):
I actually thought, in man all the things that make
you a man, honestly, because like these are the these
are the bullet point of things that you have to
cover and then once you cover that, you're a man.
Speaker 6 (13:33):
What were those things?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
What were they?
Speaker 5 (13:36):
I wonder?
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I want Chris to answer this too.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
It was very like physical leading things like make money,
be good at sex.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Uh, like be.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
A leader even though they don't really tell you, like
what you have to lead at or Rice was to
be leading, make sure nobody brings in your aggression to
you or your family, like be able to fight like
it's just whatever is leading in the physical world, be
dominant and be number one in that and you're man.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Wow, did you get any different messaging than that Chris
for about masculinity.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
I liked what he.
Speaker 8 (14:18):
Said about kinda. I like what he said about it's like,
check these things off and you're a man. It's really
like this kind of step by boom and then okay,
this makes it. And but I would say for me,
I did kind of have a little bit different because
my dad was so like I knew from an early age,
my dad all okay, so given what Orlando said, that's
what's like socially accepted.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
But my dad, he was so different than that.
Speaker 8 (14:43):
And my dad was so the epitome of a man
for me that I never bought into it because I
loved my dad so much. So like, I really did
get a different perspective on that. Like my mom was
such a strong, respected person and she typically took leadership
roles that.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
I kind of saw. I kind of saw that.
Speaker 8 (15:02):
I saw it the opposite like when we but when
I when we first dated, I will always think I
was too feminine and she's been yeah, I'm like I
would tell like, I'm like, I'm more femine than most guys,
and she was like, no, you're not.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
I'm like I think I am.
Speaker 8 (15:14):
But over the course of this I found out I'm
really kind of androgenis but she feels.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
M h, yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
So the androgenist spectrum of energy is here and it's
well respected as well within this framework. So androgyny is great.
That means you have access, right. I always struggle with
men who feel like they can only be in the
masculine archetypes, like you have all nine of these.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Everyone does, and.
Speaker 8 (15:43):
That's he I'm sorry, but that's because of the social
accepted understandings of masculinity.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
I always thought something was wrong with me. So that's
what I kind of see.
Speaker 8 (15:53):
Yeah, I thought something was wrong with me because I
don't feel and I don't feel it.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
But it's like I don't I know, I'm different.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (16:01):
Yeah, it's so structured in what you're supposed to be
at the masculine mail.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Wow, well, Jamila, when you think of now, what we
broke down in the class guys is that we got
these spectrum of masculine, but we also got a spectrum
of feminine because for us, we didn't learn that like
women thought.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
We learned. What did we learn about what it means
to be a woman or to be feminine.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Be nice and nurturing.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
Yeah, I think what you're asking me what I learned
how to be feminine? I think it's confusing.
Speaker 7 (16:35):
It was to be soft, to be nice, to cook,
to like clean, to be like docile. I didn't come
from a mom that's docile. She didn't make the best decisions,
but she is from Philly, so that is not the
upbringing that I came up with. Like my mom will
(16:56):
curse you out in five minutes. So I am kind
of that way. And I would be really hurt when
I would be in relationships with men and they're like,
you're not feminine, you're not soft, And I was like,
just because I can curse your fucking ass out and
tell you about yourself, I'm not soft, and it would
be like painful for me. But I think it's also
very confusing when you come from a society that says,
(17:17):
like Bee Betty Crocker, bake a cake and clean the house,
and you know, don't don't talk about sex in public,
or don't talk back or just take everything for fucking
whatever this nigga says, just follow that is, you know,
that is what society tells you. And then I come
from a mom who is also i don't know, like
not necessarily socially very feminine, and then I'm just fucking confused.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
So I think it's a confusing. What I've adopted was like, I'm.
Speaker 7 (17:44):
Trying to be soft because that's what my friends and
TV says to find a man, but also like I
like to show my tits and I curse, and also
what the fuck are you talking about? So I was
always like, damn, I wish I could be more this way,
even though I show up more this way and come
instantly finding a struggle with it and also feeling like
(18:04):
a lot of those traits that they portray as feminine
traits are weak, and even having to get over that,
like some of the things that being soft is not
being weak, And like even last week in our trying
to simulate Devotee, it was difficult, you know, like it
felt fake because I haven't been taught to just take
what a man says to face value and trust it,
(18:26):
because there's been a lot of men in my life
that are not trustworthy. So, you know, just re discovering
what that meant for myself and even through this, you know,
these these archetypes, just being able to lean in more
and release what other people have said about me and
just be like, if I am more masculine, then that's
fine too, and being okay with that.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
That is so deep.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I mean, we have twelve couples in our club, and
we learned that we've we've all learned like similar messaging.
I'm more with you, Jamila, where mom was tough, but
I was told to be nice and da da da
da da. I didn't see that really in my house,
but I guess that's feminine and maybe my mind, you know,
it's like it is a confusing piece. But what we
(19:09):
really did discover with the archetypes is I think this
is it. We celebrate Mother's Day. That's devotee, that's the
nice and done receptive and da da da, but it's
no conservationist day like be in your shit, be in
your magic, be in your power. Understand like there's no
celebration of that type of femininity. And then this type
(19:31):
of femininity, this is the sacred whr. You know, the
sex goddess. You know she likes showing tits. You know,
she wanted to be you know, she wants to be
fucking she wants to be and so and that's her power.
We're not taking there's no day for that. But we
do have the Mother's Day objective Mother's Day. A long time,
I was like, fuck Mother's Day. Why only celebrating this
(19:54):
aspect of feminine. I don't want a celebration because we
took how ween to make this day where all women
dressed like slepts on halloweend.
Speaker 6 (20:05):
Sex Goddess Day. I need that day so I can
wear my kids.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
We made that Halloween like women do that.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
That is Halloween.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
But we need a sex god this day. We need
a deep, powerful spiritual.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
And then we need this this also, this feminine who
creates strategy. She is a genius and she's a spirit
connected genius bringing wisdom from the inner.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Planes to give to the leader.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And yes, so these are areas that we talked about
in Divorce Proof Club. What were you gonna say, Shanny,
I see you talking down there.
Speaker 9 (20:46):
I literally was gonna agree with everything Jamila said. I
did have an aspect of growing up with femininity.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
My mom is from Miami.
Speaker 9 (20:53):
Well we're from Miami, so it's kind of different where
we live now in Jacksonville's kind of southern. So I
had like this, I don't to say ratchet, but like
Miami's sexy. So my mom was very sexy. So she's like,
if you're not sexy for your man, someone else will
be sexy for your man. So it's like I have
to be sexy, but I also have to be a virgin.
Like wait, you know, it was a lot of different messages.
(21:14):
So learning, like you said, there are different ways to
be feminine or masculine. To know that I'm dominant, it's like,
I'm okay, Like I don't feel like something's wrong with me.
So everything Jimmia said, plus that little cherry on top. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
That's one thing that we do here in the club
is we make sure people understand that these are the
dominant archetypes. There's a masculine dominant, a feminine dominant, and
a androgyn is dominant. So it's not that dominant means masculine. No,
have you ever seen a dominant feminist. She's a diva.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
She's Mariah Carry, She Whitney Houston. She she dominated. She
walking the room. They say, oh she's difficult to work with.
Oh she's so difficult. You know. Ah, she's a diva.
She her champagne, she.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Want there was a there was a movie where the
blues singer wanted her Coca cola.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Did you see that one? She wanted her Coca cola?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Or she wants singing old blues on the record. That's
dominant femininity. So each of these can be dominant. Now
these are submissive. There's a submissive masculine, a submissive feminine,
and a submissive androgenist.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So we gotta really delete.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Or disconnect the dominant and mascular dominance from masculinity and
submission from femininity.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
They're separate. Does that make sense? Like, I don't know.
These are basic mathematical equations.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
Especially knowing that submission to be submissive is just to learn,
Like I hope both of us can learn some shit.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Right, But when somebody is not submissive they're dominant, it
means they're closed to learning a new perspective.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
There their perspective is it. That's dominance, which.
Speaker 6 (22:57):
Means I don't want nothing to do with you if
you can't learn no new trip.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Well, sometimes that's important.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
If I want to be wealthy, my perspective is that
I'm rich, I'm a rich bitch. Now I'm dominant in
that perspective, But now I'm if I'm dominant in it
and it's not occurring in my reality. I need to
get some submission and learn how to be a rich
bitch and learn about the taxes or the money or
the whatever y'all talking about investments.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I gotta have both. I gotta be all nine.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
And so I worry about men who feel like they
have to be dominant masculine. That means you're you're gonna
learn nothing, You're gonna take in nothing, and you're.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Gonna be what you are today.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Are you satisfied with what you are today?
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Right?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
So there's some concerns.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Now, what do you guys think if somebody was on
the outside saying, hey, my marriage is not gonna work.
I mean, I don't know what y'all are doing in
the club. You told me about the damn club. But
how is our type's gonna help my marriage? How is
battery gonna help my marriage? My wife is never going
to be submissive, she's never gonna be feminine, she's never
(24:09):
you know, people think that what would you tell them, Jamila,
based on your experience is so far here, I.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
Would say, have you given them the opportunity to exist
in all of their archetypes.
Speaker 6 (24:28):
There's a lot of a lot of us.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
There's a lot of pieces of us, a lot of
parts of us, but we're you know, we're only holding
on to two or three. And I was one of
the big parts of me, like falling in love for real,
for oh, I did mushrooms and I looked at him
and I was like, Oh.
Speaker 6 (24:42):
You're just a human. You're just a human person. You're
not what I dreamed of.
Speaker 7 (24:48):
You're not the avatar I created online. You're not like
a checklist of what's perfect for me which makes me comfortable.
Speaker 6 (24:55):
You are just the fucking human that I fell in
love with.
Speaker 7 (24:57):
And if I want to fall in love with a human,
bitch is I'm not gonna come exactly as I as
I fucking.
Speaker 6 (25:03):
Imagine in my head.
Speaker 7 (25:04):
There's not gonna be no conflict, no pack talk, You're
not gonna do everything that I say. It was like
a deep realization that, oh, this nigga is a human
just like me, and I'm gonna fall short and he
gonna fall short.
Speaker 6 (25:16):
And do I still love him?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (25:18):
I do?
Speaker 7 (25:19):
So how can how can we how can we stay
together with that in mind? And I think the battery
gives space for humans to exist in multiple parts of
themselves and to say, like, you're not going to be perfect,
You're gonna do some shit that triggers me, and that
is actually what it's about and actually.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
And understanding, like.
Speaker 10 (25:46):
Sorry, go ahead, just saying historically, and that's the thing
even in this in this class, you know, like Orlando's
my husband, but I have a business partner that's my
best friend who's also my wife before he came in,
Like there was a fucking a very like with non sexual,
platonic wife, which I'm also going through the motions of, like, oh,
(26:07):
I have two very deep relationships and including to my daughter,
and everyone's not.
Speaker 7 (26:13):
Going to satisfy me all the time. Everyone's not going
to do exactly as I would like them to do.
So I'm not going to cut these motherfuckers off. I
can't cut my kid off, and I can't cut this
bitch off. We share a bank account, what how do
how do I exist? And thinking of people who like
existed in tribe settings where we thrived is that there's
no walking away. It's not like I'm divorcing he was like,
(26:36):
you can't divorce. You can't leave the tribe, bitch. You
can't build a check three miles down. You got to
stay here for the food and the weaven and everything
else that we do as a community. And we come
into like a world where everybody is dispen uh, this dispensive, dispensable, disposable, disposable.
But the reality is people are not supposed to be disposable.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
We've created that world.
Speaker 7 (26:58):
And if you really love someone, if you really want
to get to you know, this other plane of the
higher consciousness of your higher self, then how do I
love and accept you as you are and know that
it's not personal to me?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Right?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And I think that everything you're saying requires a way
to house that, Like that's the etherial that people want
to get to and they don't know how to get there.
I feel like that's the work we do at Divorce
Proof Club. But Chris, the people are saying is too
much drama. It's too much drama. Like what Jamala just saying. Ah,
I hear you, Jamala, but it's too much drama. My
(27:40):
party got too much drama. What do you say to that, Chris?
Because we got to get more people to understand that
we can move beyond this, but they're complaining that it's
too much drama to try.
Speaker 8 (27:50):
Well, I'll say, I don't know how far this is
our first time tuning in, but that's what venting and
processing is for it and really understanding that you create
your own life, and every thing that you have is
a trigger and your feelings you are responsible for, nobody
else is, and what you can process and come to.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
What's the step before gratitude.
Speaker 8 (28:10):
I've got ownership and then the gratitude. Then it's like
the devils that are on your heart are cleaned and
then you can appreciate and accept the things about somebody
else that you couldn't accept about yourself, and it opens up.
Speaker 5 (28:27):
It just opens up these doors.
Speaker 8 (28:29):
That you feel like you can you can I don
want to say stare at but like you can look
outside and just see the beautiful picture instead of like
judging it for how it's not how you expected it
to be, and the way you can just kind of
appreciate everything that's coming.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
That's what I think.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Christianstowney have been in my progressive love club for more
than a year and now they just jumped into the
divorce proof club, which takes it up a few notches.
So what do you all think? Are you glad you joined?
Is there the drama? How are you settling it? Because really,
I'm telling y'all, all four of you, I'm sharing with
(29:06):
you that people really do not believe this is possible.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
I'm telling you that that's why they're not staying together.
Speaker 9 (29:14):
So yeah, we always tell you thank you because we
literally were done. Like I get choked up every time
because I'm so grateful. This is where we are now,
like sitting ugly, laughing and here with y'all because we.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Were like and shit, mm hmm.
Speaker 9 (29:31):
Now he literally like was walking out the door and
he said, let's just put on the video you brought and.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
It was your video.
Speaker 6 (29:39):
It was that initial video, and we were quiet.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
Because it was a long video. It's like ninety minutes.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
But the whole time we were dead silent.
Speaker 9 (29:46):
And then we had a conversation and we kept moving
from there, but we were done.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
So I would tell people, just give.
Speaker 6 (29:51):
It a try.
Speaker 9 (29:52):
You are gonna have to face you and that's challenging,
but I want to say thank you because that's nice.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Yes, that's not the first time I've heard that about
that video. I will link that video below. It's called
how to Handle Intense Emotions Without an Argument. It costs
just forty seven dollars. It's like one of my baby
beginner courses. I will put it down here. I didn't
know that story. Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
And so Orlando and Jamila they are you know, they're
here looking at y'all. They y'all are married, they haven't
married yet. So the club supports people and seeing different.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Levels to this shit. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Orlando, Emila, how has it been like hanging around all
us married folks?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
It's been great.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
I've always enjoyed being around married people and people in
relationships and just like people ever since I was young
because my parents were never together. So now I get
to like get some kind of input on like, yo,
how does it work? Like tell me something? Because the
people that that burke me, they ain't got nothing for me,
so please tell me something. So I always enjoyed being
(30:57):
around like other married people and just and not even
really asking questions, but just sitting and just seeming like
how they operate around each other. And my parents weren't
like great examples, but I had like on an uncle
who are like a mother and father figure, and like
just seeing how like they operated. They gave me like
a foundation that I wanted to mimic, and then I
just like kind of molded into my own. So this
(31:19):
really just takes like the foundation and just like puts
things on top of it that you need, Like, hey,
here's the story that you come to for venting, here's
the shopping wall you come to for like your battery,
and like so just having something.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
To to to like build on, right, and.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
You guys, you guys have each other too. How has
it been like with the guys? I noticed the guys
that go around are like they linked up. They they
linked they linked up this time.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Oh, I think last week we had like a men's
only like group and the group that we had split
up into, and that was I think really helpful, especially
for like other the other guys I was there, because
I think a lot of things for us is just
feeling like we're alone in this situation and then when
you realize, n bro, you're not alone, and here's some guidance.
And specifically for me, I didn't have much guidance in
(32:11):
like my teens, which is I think is a pivotal
moment for a man or boy to like show like, hey,
you're about to go into life and these are the
things you're going to come across, and a lot of
us like didn't have that, So now we're like tripping out,
Like am I tripping?
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Am I bugging out? Like? Am I doing it wrong?
It's like, No, you're not doing anything wrong.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
This is just what's what's come up in life and
why you're at the position you're at now. And just
to have like another another thought process coming from somebody
that's similar to you as far as like having to
be in the same gender is what really is helpful
to two men.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Yeah, they're talking about last week they were with my husband, y'all.
My husband comes into the club from time to time
to support the men, and they also have their own
private group where they are supported as well. Jamila and
you know, Jimmy, Jamila and Shanny we all got together
last week too, didn't we tell them?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Tell them about that? What was your experience like with that?
Jamila and Shannon? You go first, Jamila.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
I think it was like clarity that.
Speaker 7 (33:14):
It's not just me that a lot of women have
have a little bit of a problem between a devote
tee and being nurturing and being soft and being inviting.
And I think a lot of us have built that
up because it's survival and like you can't believe everything
and Nigga tells you and you have to be able
to make decisions. And also we've been told that men
(33:34):
are dumb and men are this, and like don't trust
that shit, like you know, check and balance it yourself.
Speaker 6 (33:41):
And so I think that it brought a lot of.
Speaker 7 (33:46):
Discomfort to know that I'm not the only one struggling
in certain areas. And also just from you too, Kenya,
just like understanding the value and the power of falling
back and falling into your softness and falling into your
I would say, like the mothering of the man. I
know a lot of women we talk about like I'm
not his mom and we're not, but there is a
(34:09):
level of nurturing and mothering that men are seeking from women,
like this is the primary foundational sprouting of the opposite
sex love.
Speaker 6 (34:21):
And so a lot of us are existing in.
Speaker 7 (34:23):
Our like our childhood selves, seeking validation for mothers and fathers.
And so if we completely reject those ideas, we miss
the opportunity to really pour into places that our partner's
parents missed and actually like embracing that role and knowing
how powerful it is. When you're like, oh my god,
(34:44):
that's a wonderful idea. I love it everything in my
power to make it work. Oh my god, babe, you
want to go to check E Cheese and do what
I love check E Cheese or whatever the fuck it is,
and not come with like our immediate speculat or like
our immediately that.
Speaker 6 (35:01):
Doesn't fucking work, like what those are? Like what are
you talking about?
Speaker 7 (35:05):
And I recognize how you know, just how the roles
and reinerating how important that power is is and so
I appreciate that from you.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Good.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
That's what she's talking about. Y'all is down here at
the bottom of the chart.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
We practice. We literally did skits to practice.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
The devotee energetic, the conservation is energetic, the lover energetic.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
And the visionary.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
And so that's what we have the women working on
and we have the men working up here. However, men
can be down here and the women can be up here.
It doesn't matter. These are two sides of the brain.
You have both sides. All of us do.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
So that's a big deal here at the academy. I appreciate.
Speaker 6 (35:46):
Yeah, that's funds.
Speaker 7 (35:49):
People are like, do this and it makes sense logically,
but to do it in action it is not fucking
meane the same thing.
Speaker 6 (35:55):
Of course, I know I should be supportive, but like,
how does that actually look and feel?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
So it was beneficial, good what you got to say
on that, Shanny, And I know I'm keeping y' all along.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
We're gonna go soon. Thank you all so much for
this go ahead, Shanny.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
Great.
Speaker 6 (36:10):
I loved the women's only group.
Speaker 9 (36:13):
When we were kind of meeting, it seemed like all
of us kind of relaxed our shoulders. It was like, oh,
the feminine, It's so good to be in this space.
And one of the biggest things I enjoyed was learning
the deities associated with the different type of feminine archetypes,
because like you said, you only learn learn devotee, like
that's the only one that's kind of accepted. But in
the group, the women were so vulnerable and so open.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
And actually so soft.
Speaker 9 (36:36):
I don't know if they believe that, but they were
so open to hearing things and they also encouraged me.
So being in the group helped a lot, just to
learn more and more of Oh, I can be feminine
this way and this way, and actually I'm just as
powerful and just to plug Deva Deep Dive because I am.
I'm taking those as well. I'm learning, like I am
very powerful in these things. And I see how Chris
(36:58):
has changed.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
He doesn't know it I'm doing, but I know what
I'm doing and I feel great and I'm so relieved
and I don't feel a stress.
Speaker 9 (37:04):
So being in the group last week with the girls,
it was just nice to just be around their energy.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
Honestly, it was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
That's so nice she's talking about. She was in a
Deva Deep Dive.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Deep A Deep Dive is a course that we do
here at the Academy that takes you all the way
into lover.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
So the lover. If you want to strengthen your lover,
you need to get in a Depa deep dive.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
This is like where we take the women into actual
you know, what is a sex ritual? What is a sensuality?
Like I'm showing in the videos, I'm doing the rituals
with you and it is really powerful. It really it
helps you to affect your relationship without using force because
force is never gonna work. I mean even when men
(37:50):
use force half the time, it don't work. I mean
it's not it's force alone. It's just such a lonely
energetic it's it's it's really it doesn't work outside of
the community. So here's force forces, soldier, What are you
forcing if you didn't get the objective from the monk,
(38:11):
the buy in from the.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Devotee, the clearing, the strategy, now the king.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Now the king tells you to use force in this
way because the visionary said so.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Now force works.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Outside of a structure. Force is useless, And I don't
know why people think it's so cool.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Well I force, I say it, I'm I'm.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Done with this, but I'm for that's forced outside of
any structure, it's useless.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Chris, I see you shaking your hand. You give me
your insight, conservation is a wizard?
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Tell me.
Speaker 8 (38:49):
And my tripping, Well, that's that's something I learned from
like having kids and stuff and just from like life
growing up. I don't I don't try to force. You
never really get a good result when you try to
force people to do things. When I did my number chart,
it said that I do exist on the dominant end
of the spectrum, however, like it reflects more of a
(39:13):
passive dominance, which to me has always been energetically and
sexually aligning. For me, it's like I don't want to
take from somebody. I would rather them, I would rather
my essence be something that they submit to. And that,
to me, that's the most because you give the person
a choice. And I think that that's something that in
(39:34):
our Western way of thinking about things, we try to
force the women to not feel their masculine side if
I tell them they should be eminent or submission rather
set the dominant or feminine, And when you realize you
celebrate both that plus the plus the other side. It's
like you just let them become their whole entire self.
(39:56):
And the same with men. It's like men were forced
to believe like, you won't be you won't be treaded
value unless you completely embody these dominant masculine roles. But
it's like, nah, you really got to understand and feel
the whole thing. And when you when you when you
have that choice, when you don't, we aren't forced to
be in one area. Then you can just allow yourself
(40:17):
to flow. And that's where everything kind of starts to
come together in by opinion, I think.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
We're gonna get there, y'all.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
I think we're gonna get there, or I know we're
gonna get there, and I think I'm gonna see it.
I think we're gonna see it in our lifetime where
this starts to rearrange itself, y'all. I'm so excited and
so happy and so glad that you're here tonight. We
do have to go, y'all know, I'll be keeping stuff
on a real basic level.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Let people know we're here.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
You guys, sharing your stories is letting people know we're here,
and they're watching. They're watching, they want to know. So
you all are showing up, showing out. Thank you so much.
If you are interested in getting into this type of community,
working on this type of work, please, by y'all means
you the links the Worksproof Club starts again August twenty first,
twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
So if you have friends who need this, people who
are in relationships, let's stop these breakups.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Thank you. We'll see if you go.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Ahead, we'll see you.
Speaker 4 (41:12):
If you gotta force it it don't fit, or what
if you got to force it it don't fit.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Oh, that's all we were talking about. That's the whole thing.
Don't force it in there. Please put some move on that.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
We love you guys. We'll see you out next week.
Thank you. Byeya alah like this
Like this. All right, guys, we are live again.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
It is Thursday night, and yes we have some couples
from Divorce Proof Club. We are going to do our
after party because we already did the club.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
We meet every.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Thursday night at seven pm with twelve couples. We always
start out with twelve couples in Divorce Proof Club, but
sometimes the work gets heated and some people may not
want to continue for the whole twelve weeks. Why we'll
talk about that tonight. My name is Kenya K. Stevens.
I am the world's best love coach and I love
(00:42):
to work with couples, stop divorces and sure up marriages
that would otherwise without tools all apart. We don't need
y'all following apart. That's why I'm here cotin you for
the whole twelve weeks. And I really do love what
I do. So what we do tonight and what we
do every Thursday night is we interview Jamila and Orlando.
(01:03):
They are part of Divorce Proof and they are at
week number.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Ten now, so they are on and popping.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
They have they have gone through the hard parts out
and we have a special guest couple. We got Chris
and Shanny and I am just exuberant that they are
here with us as well.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
So we got two couples from Divorce Proof Club.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Now, y'all know, you gotta put your your questions into
the comments and I will make sure that they hear
your questions.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
But go ahead, let's talk y'all. Tonight was a big night.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It was like a transitional night where we moved from
just communication into the technique, the tectonics, the tectonics, the
underpinnings of relationships. What was your major takeaway from tonight, Orlando.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
That I think tonight was like the oh, now I'm
seeing how it all comes together.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Like, oh, now it all like it's just like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
The I think when somebody in the and the Girds
guys said it like he had like his like the
switch went off, like now he's trying to see and
then you can see where all the teachings from before
it all start to connect and see what you're saying about,
like how you get to disconnect from the western state
of mind and really also buy into not really buy
(02:28):
into because this is actually what you need, but really
see the importance and the strength and power of the
things that we've been saying, and so that's what that's
what today kind of felt like.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I'm so glad.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Did you feel like you would ever have that kind
of aha moment? Because I think some people and Shanny
and Chris can talk to after well, I want you
all to introduce yourself. But Orlando, when you see people
in relationships and the relationships are failing, you probably have
friends who had that. Do you feel like they think
there's some hope out there or some new way to
view things, something that might make a change, because usually
(03:03):
in my view, people be like, is.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Not we can do? And I'm like, why are they
saying that? Like they have tried nothing, you.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Know, except maybe a therapist or reading a book. I mean,
talk to us about that, Orlando.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I think the hope has always been in like this
thought of like there's one person out there for you,
Like the thought that, like there's somebody that's out there
that's gonna make this whole thing, everything that you're worried
about be okay, and then you can just lean on
that person and things is going to be fine. Like
the thought of, like hey, everybody's looking for love, to
look for that one person out there, and then when
(03:35):
you find that one person. There's so much pressure that
you put on them. You take all the things that
you're bringing with you and then you place it on
this one person. They just come into your life and
it's just like there's a lot of shit for me
to like clean up and clutter, like just just in our.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Like beginning of our meeting.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
So and then that also goes into putting the pressure
on somebody instead of realizing the pressure that's being put
on you is coming from like the system that you're
in and not the press. So the glory of the person,
but also all the blame goes to that one person
is really kind of unfair. But what I like about
like the things that we've learned here, especially today, is
(04:11):
that kind of for me, it's like kind of confirming
because I've always wondered, like, hey, you know, I think
it's better if like we play a role and we
all like play to our strengths instead of just feeling like, well,
you should be able to do all of these things
for me, and I should be able to do all
of these things for you, and then if it doesn't
work out, then fuck it.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
You can't do it. You're not the white person. Let's
keep going like, wow of pressure.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Now, if you guys want to hear more from Orlando
and Jamila, you know they're very open with their lives
on their podcast that Jamila is about to tell us
about and this she's going to tell us her takeaways
from tonight.
Speaker 6 (04:49):
Our podcast is called Love Like This.
Speaker 7 (04:52):
It's just about health, constructing your own healthy love and
what that looks like, interviewing other couples, other married couples,
other dating couples, paul couples, all the type of couples
that say, what the fuck.
Speaker 6 (05:02):
Are you doing over there? Is it working?
Speaker 7 (05:03):
And let's take notes? So that's going over on Love
Like This. It's on all podcast platforms and on YouTube.
Today's takeaway was like, first of all, while Kenya really
is that bitch, she's she's really shape shifting and shifting
people's perspectives. And I don't know, I just feel like
(05:26):
removing the cloak so that there's more in this.
Speaker 6 (05:29):
Today's class about the battery.
Speaker 7 (05:33):
It's really about the partnership I feel like, and how
we work in partnership. A lot of you know, in
today's time, everyone in twenty twenty five, it's like it's
my partner. It's not like your boyfriend or your husband
no more.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
It's the partner.
Speaker 7 (05:45):
But we lack the understanding of what that really, what
that looks like in movement and in action. And I
think a lot of times we like make roles in businesses,
but we forget to create roles in our relationships.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
And then execute those roles.
Speaker 7 (05:58):
You know, if you at work and somebody actually do
some shit that's not your job, you're gonna be like,
I'm bitch, asked Jenny, that's her job. But in relationships,
we tend to have like there's tends to be ego
and we're like I can do this and this, and
I was just telling her, like you know, and there's
always these very rigid roles around what role is for
women and what roles for men, And there's here there's
(06:19):
like I want a woman who knows how to listen
and who's probably eighteen and a half because she don't
talk back, But is do you want to fucking do
you want to blow up doll? But the reality if
you want partnership and you want a successful partnership or
successful entity or business, you have to know your roles
and respect and trust the person and the other role.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
And today that was really brought to light.
Speaker 7 (06:40):
And we had some couples today that I was concerned
aren't going to make it, and they were really they
came to the other side today and.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
I was like, right, Jesus, that is that bitch than us.
Speaker 7 (06:52):
And you see how the energy just shifts when people
start understanding each other and respecting each other's roles versus
telling each other.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
What to do.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Right.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
So it was it was beautiful.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
And just it's a tipt It really showed the how
the program helps build like that trust and how much
trust that you have to having somebody to be like
I'm letting you go and then.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
You take over this spot.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Because I think a lot of a lot of issues
that me and Mila had in the beginning when we
first like moved in together, was can I trust you
to get this done?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
And I can't trust you to get this done?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Is why I got to like micro manager, why I
gotta do some of it also, And it's like just
chill you, like realize this not only is an exercise
or something that can help you with like getting to
a goal, but it also can help you build trust
with each other.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Listen, I am excited to bring Chris. These are volunteers, y'all, Like,
like you said yourself, Jamila, this week watching those couples
come back, can you believe has a kaya and and
y'all say, I mean because last week we're all like,
oh gosh, we.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
We know, we don't know, but we know.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I know I've seen it and it's Danielle and Danielle
and Tie.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
You know it's just beautiful. So yes, we love that.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Chris and now Shanny on this call with us. That's
another advancement. Tell us, y'all, what's up? Introduce yourselves, tell
us how you've been in the club, and why you
decided to be in Divorce Proof Club, and why you
decided you're gonna go public tonight.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
What's up?
Speaker 5 (08:36):
Well, so we started off.
Speaker 8 (08:41):
And I'm Chris and we just two people trying to
make it work. However it works, and this is something
that we found at work. Everything else so far it
has its good size, but nothing seen to click like
this before.
Speaker 9 (08:58):
You keep It's like we have a deep love and
we've always known that very early, and we weren't ready
to get rid of it. We didn't know how to
maintain that with all the responsibilities of just becoming an
adult because we've been together since teenagers, so it was
a very hard transition. And we try, like you say,
a lot of things and I pass it back to you, baby.
Speaker 8 (09:16):
Yeah, we try a lot of things. And I mean,
I've had my feelings about the club. She's she's pretty
much been more in it than I have. But it's
been nothing but positive. Like and that's the best thing
I can really say. If it really teaches people how
to love, how to listen, how to allow, how to
(09:36):
feel like man, and once you really get that on
all levels, when everybody is running on all levels like that,
it just becomes a beautiful dance with your partner, like
you just dancing away life. And that's the best part
of it. You just you can you can accept so
much more about yourself and your partner.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Thank you Seanne and Chris for joining us tonight. So
takeaways from tonight You all are now stepping into battery
and I just love that you all. Well, let's show
the screen a little bit because people are probably like,
what the hell is she talking about?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Battery? What is battery? What is battery.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And this goes back to what I was saying with Orlando,
like people don't know that there are ways and things
that can be done differently than what we've learned in
the West. I feel like a lot of people are,
as Jamila said, focusing on the trad wife, like if
she were just a traditional wife, then we would be
(10:34):
able to do things, if she would submit, if she
would just you understand, like they think that the gender
war is about women not agreeing any longer to the rules.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Would you say that that's true? Shanny? May you repeat
the question one more time? Oh?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
No, I was just I wondered, did you hear the question, Jamila,
because it was Jamia point. She said that what's happening
today is it feels like men are saying that this
gender war would be over if women would just participate
in the traditional norms.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Do I agree with that?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah, I mean I do feel about that, about.
Speaker 9 (11:21):
That you're learning your decision making process through the battery
before that, I don't agree with that. I just feel
like we're not seen and the things that we bring
to the table, like Jamila said, are just not recognized
as it's powerful, just as powerful, you know, but in
your battery, it kind of shows like, hey, when you
are in your feminine, when you're relaxed enough and know
(11:43):
someone will be in the masculine to show up for
you in that way, you are able to kind of
relish in that role and it really supports your partner
or your lover in a different way. So the Western
way is I feel like it really suppresses and represses
who you are. But in this battery, in this structure
really helps you really to shine and to show up
(12:04):
for your family or for yourself in beautiful ways.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So that's my good good.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, So the battery for those who don't know, you know,
and again Orlando Sea, people don't know what's out there,
and they don't know that there is other alternatives. This
is an alternative to the thought that if you have
a vagina you should cook and clean and be submissive
to the man.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
I don't even think people know what that means. I
don't even think people know what submission means. Submission means
willing to learn, that's all. It means that you're receptive
to taking in information. But anyways, the battery is what
we're discussing tonight. It's a decision making tool that I
teach here at the Divorce Proof Club, and it supports
(12:49):
us in understanding the various spectrum of masculine energetics that
you can see here at the top. Because some people
talk about masculinity as if it's one thing. We think
of masculinity as a spectrum of energy. Right when you
learned about masculinity, Orlando, what was it that you thought
(13:10):
masculinity was?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
If it's if it's one thing?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
So when I what was the beginning part of it?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
When you learned about masculinity? What did you think that
it meant?
Speaker 3 (13:23):
I actually thought, in man all the things that make
you a man, honestly, because like these are the these
are the bullet point of things that you have to
cover and then once you cover that, you're a man.
Speaker 6 (13:33):
What were those things?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
What were they?
Speaker 5 (13:36):
I wonder?
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I want Chris to answer this too.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
It was very like physical leading things like make money,
be good at sex.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Uh, like be.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
A leader even though they don't really tell you, like
what you have to lead at or Rice was to
be leading, make sure nobody brings in your aggression to
you or your family, like be able to fight like
it's just whatever is leading in the physical world, be
dominant and be number one in that and you're man.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Wow, did you get any different messaging than that Chris
for about masculinity.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
I liked what he.
Speaker 8 (14:18):
Said about kinda. I like what he said about it's like,
check these things off and you're a man. It's really
like this kind of step by boom and then okay,
this makes it. And but I would say for me,
I did kind of have a little bit different because
my dad was so like I knew from an early age,
my dad all okay, so given what Orlando said, that's
what's like socially accepted.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
But my dad, he was so different than that.
Speaker 8 (14:43):
And my dad was so the epitome of a man
for me that I never bought into it because I
loved my dad so much. So like, I really did
get a different perspective on that. Like my mom was
such a strong, respected person and she typically took leadership
roles that.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
I kind of saw. I kind of saw that.
Speaker 8 (15:02):
I saw it the opposite like when we but when
I when we first dated, I will always think I
was too feminine and she's been yeah, I'm like I
would tell like, I'm like, I'm more femine than most guys,
and she was like, no, you're not.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
I'm like I think I am.
Speaker 8 (15:14):
But over the course of this I found out I'm
really kind of androgenis but she feels.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
M h, yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
So the androgenist spectrum of energy is here and it's
well respected as well within this framework. So androgyny is great.
That means you have access, right. I always struggle with
men who feel like they can only be in the
masculine archetypes, like you have all nine of these.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Everyone does, and.
Speaker 8 (15:43):
That's he I'm sorry, but that's because of the social
accepted understandings of masculinity.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
I always thought something was wrong with me. So that's
what I kind of see.
Speaker 8 (15:53):
Yeah, I thought something was wrong with me because I
don't feel and I don't feel it.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
But it's like I don't I know, I'm different.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (16:01):
Yeah, it's so structured in what you're supposed to be
at the masculine mail.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Wow, well, Jamila, when you think of now, what we
broke down in the class guys is that we got
these spectrum of masculine, but we also got a spectrum
of feminine because for us, we didn't learn that like
women thought.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
We learned. What did we learn about what it means
to be a woman or to be feminine.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Be nice and nurturing.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
Yeah, I think what you're asking me what I learned
how to be feminine? I think it's confusing.
Speaker 7 (16:35):
It was to be soft, to be nice, to cook,
to like clean, to be like docile. I didn't come
from a mom that's docile. She didn't make the best decisions,
but she is from Philly, so that is not the
upbringing that I came up with. Like my mom will
(16:56):
curse you out in five minutes. So I am kind
of that way. And I would be really hurt when
I would be in relationships with men and they're like,
you're not feminine, you're not soft, And I was like,
just because I can curse your fucking ass out and
tell you about yourself, I'm not soft, and it would
be like painful for me. But I think it's also
very confusing when you come from a society that says,
(17:17):
like Bee Betty Crocker, bake a cake and clean the house,
and you know, don't don't talk about sex in public,
or don't talk back or just take everything for fucking
whatever this nigga says, just follow that is, you know,
that is what society tells you. And then I come
from a mom who is also i don't know, like
not necessarily socially very feminine, and then I'm just fucking confused.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
So I think it's a confusing. What I've adopted was like, I'm.
Speaker 7 (17:44):
Trying to be soft because that's what my friends and
TV says to find a man, but also like I
like to show my tits and I curse, and also
what the fuck are you talking about? So I was
always like, damn, I wish I could be more this way,
even though I show up more this way and come
instantly finding a struggle with it and also feeling like
(18:04):
a lot of those traits that they portray as feminine
traits are weak, and even having to get over that,
like some of the things that being soft is not
being weak, And like even last week in our trying
to simulate Devotee, it was difficult, you know, like it
felt fake because I haven't been taught to just take
what a man says to face value and trust it,
(18:26):
because there's been a lot of men in my life
that are not trustworthy. So, you know, just re discovering
what that meant for myself and even through this, you know,
these these archetypes, just being able to lean in more
and release what other people have said about me and
just be like, if I am more masculine, then that's
fine too, and being okay with that.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
That is so deep.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I mean, we have twelve couples in our club, and
we learned that we've we've all learned like similar messaging.
I'm more with you, Jamila, where mom was tough, but
I was told to be nice and da da da
da da. I didn't see that really in my house,
but I guess that's feminine and maybe my mind, you know,
it's like it is a confusing piece. But what we
(19:09):
really did discover with the archetypes is I think this
is it. We celebrate Mother's Day. That's devotee, that's the
nice and done receptive and da da da, but it's
no conservationist day like be in your shit, be in
your magic, be in your power. Understand like there's no
celebration of that type of femininity. And then this type
(19:31):
of femininity, this is the sacred whr. You know, the
sex goddess. You know she likes showing tits. You know,
she wanted to be you know, she wants to be
fucking she wants to be and so and that's her power.
We're not taking there's no day for that. But we
do have the Mother's Day objective Mother's Day. A long time,
I was like, fuck Mother's Day. Why only celebrating this
(19:54):
aspect of feminine. I don't want a celebration because we
took how ween to make this day where all women
dressed like slepts on halloweend.
Speaker 6 (20:05):
Sex Goddess Day. I need that day so I can
wear my kids.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
We made that Halloween like women do that.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
That is Halloween.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
But we need a sex god this day. We need
a deep, powerful spiritual.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
And then we need this this also, this feminine who
creates strategy. She is a genius and she's a spirit
connected genius bringing wisdom from the inner.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Planes to give to the leader.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And yes, so these are areas that we talked about
in Divorce Proof Club. What were you gonna say, Shanny,
I see you talking down there.
Speaker 9 (20:46):
I literally was gonna agree with everything Jamila said. I
did have an aspect of growing up with femininity.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
My mom is from Miami.
Speaker 9 (20:53):
Well we're from Miami, so it's kind of different where
we live now in Jacksonville's kind of southern. So I
had like this, I don't to say ratchet, but like
Miami's sexy. So my mom was very sexy. So she's like,
if you're not sexy for your man, someone else will
be sexy for your man. So it's like I have
to be sexy, but I also have to be a virgin.
Like wait, you know, it was a lot of different messages.
(21:14):
So learning, like you said, there are different ways to
be feminine or masculine. To know that I'm dominant, it's like,
I'm okay, Like I don't feel like something's wrong with me.
So everything Jimmia said, plus that little cherry on top. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
That's one thing that we do here in the club
is we make sure people understand that these are the
dominant archetypes. There's a masculine dominant, a feminine dominant, and
a androgyn is dominant. So it's not that dominant means masculine. No,
have you ever seen a dominant feminist. She's a diva.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
She's Mariah Carry, She Whitney Houston. She she dominated. She
walking the room. They say, oh she's difficult to work with.
Oh she's so difficult. You know. Ah, she's a diva.
She her champagne, she.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Want there was a there was a movie where the
blues singer wanted her Coca cola.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Did you see that one? She wanted her Coca cola?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Or she wants singing old blues on the record. That's
dominant femininity. So each of these can be dominant. Now
these are submissive. There's a submissive masculine, a submissive feminine,
and a submissive androgenist.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So we gotta really delete.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Or disconnect the dominant and mascular dominance from masculinity and
submission from femininity.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
They're separate. Does that make sense? Like, I don't know.
These are basic mathematical equations.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
Especially knowing that submission to be submissive is just to learn,
Like I hope both of us can learn some shit.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Right, But when somebody is not submissive they're dominant, it
means they're closed to learning a new perspective.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
There their perspective is it. That's dominance, which.
Speaker 6 (22:57):
Means I don't want nothing to do with you if
you can't learn no new trip.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Well, sometimes that's important.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
If I want to be wealthy, my perspective is that
I'm rich, I'm a rich bitch. Now I'm dominant in
that perspective, But now I'm if I'm dominant in it
and it's not occurring in my reality. I need to
get some submission and learn how to be a rich
bitch and learn about the taxes or the money or
the whatever y'all talking about investments.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I gotta have both. I gotta be all nine.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
And so I worry about men who feel like they
have to be dominant masculine. That means you're you're gonna
learn nothing, You're gonna take in nothing, and you're.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Gonna be what you are today.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Are you satisfied with what you are today?
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Right?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
So there's some concerns.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Now, what do you guys think if somebody was on
the outside saying, hey, my marriage is not gonna work.
I mean, I don't know what y'all are doing in
the club. You told me about the damn club. But
how is our type's gonna help my marriage? How is
battery gonna help my marriage? My wife is never going
to be submissive, she's never gonna be feminine, she's never
(24:09):
you know, people think that what would you tell them, Jamila,
based on your experience is so far here, I.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
Would say, have you given them the opportunity to exist
in all of their archetypes.
Speaker 6 (24:28):
There's a lot of a lot of us.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
There's a lot of pieces of us, a lot of
parts of us, but we're you know, we're only holding
on to two or three. And I was one of
the big parts of me, like falling in love for real,
for oh, I did mushrooms and I looked at him
and I was like, Oh.
Speaker 6 (24:42):
You're just a human. You're just a human person. You're
not what I dreamed of.
Speaker 7 (24:48):
You're not the avatar I created online. You're not like
a checklist of what's perfect for me which makes me comfortable.
Speaker 6 (24:55):
You are just the fucking human that I fell in
love with.
Speaker 7 (24:57):
And if I want to fall in love with a human,
bitch is I'm not gonna come exactly as I as
I fucking.
Speaker 6 (25:03):
Imagine in my head.
Speaker 7 (25:04):
There's not gonna be no conflict, no pack talk, You're
not gonna do everything that I say. It was like
a deep realization that, oh, this nigga is a human
just like me, and I'm gonna fall short and he
gonna fall short.
Speaker 6 (25:16):
And do I still love him?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (25:18):
I do?
Speaker 7 (25:19):
So how can how can we how can we stay
together with that in mind? And I think the battery
gives space for humans to exist in multiple parts of
themselves and to say, like, you're not going to be perfect,
You're gonna do some shit that triggers me, and that
is actually what it's about and actually.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
And understanding, like.
Speaker 10 (25:46):
Sorry, go ahead, just saying historically, and that's the thing
even in this in this class, you know, like Orlando's
my husband, but I have a business partner that's my
best friend who's also my wife before he came in,
Like there was a fucking a very like with non sexual,
platonic wife, which I'm also going through the motions of, like, oh,
(26:07):
I have two very deep relationships and including to my daughter,
and everyone's not.
Speaker 7 (26:13):
Going to satisfy me all the time. Everyone's not going
to do exactly as I would like them to do.
So I'm not going to cut these motherfuckers off. I
can't cut my kid off, and I can't cut this
bitch off. We share a bank account, what how do
how do I exist? And thinking of people who like
existed in tribe settings where we thrived is that there's
no walking away. It's not like I'm divorcing he was like,
(26:36):
you can't divorce. You can't leave the tribe, bitch. You
can't build a check three miles down. You got to
stay here for the food and the weaven and everything
else that we do as a community. And we come
into like a world where everybody is dispen uh, this dispensive, dispensable, disposable, disposable.
But the reality is people are not supposed to be disposable.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
We've created that world.
Speaker 7 (26:58):
And if you really love someone, if you really want
to get to you know, this other plane of the
higher consciousness of your higher self, then how do I
love and accept you as you are and know that
it's not personal to me?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Right?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And I think that everything you're saying requires a way
to house that, Like that's the etherial that people want
to get to and they don't know how to get there.
I feel like that's the work we do at Divorce
Proof Club. But Chris, the people are saying is too
much drama. It's too much drama. Like what Jamala just saying. Ah,
I hear you, Jamala, but it's too much drama. My
(27:40):
party got too much drama. What do you say to that, Chris?
Because we got to get more people to understand that
we can move beyond this, but they're complaining that it's
too much drama to try.
Speaker 8 (27:50):
Well, I'll say, I don't know how far this is
our first time tuning in, but that's what venting and
processing is for it and really understanding that you create
your own life, and every thing that you have is
a trigger and your feelings you are responsible for, nobody
else is, and what you can process and come to.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
What's the step before gratitude.
Speaker 8 (28:10):
I've got ownership and then the gratitude. Then it's like
the devils that are on your heart are cleaned and
then you can appreciate and accept the things about somebody
else that you couldn't accept about yourself, and it opens up.
Speaker 5 (28:27):
It just opens up these doors.
Speaker 8 (28:29):
That you feel like you can you can I don
want to say stare at but like you can look
outside and just see the beautiful picture instead of like
judging it for how it's not how you expected it
to be, and the way you can just kind of
appreciate everything that's coming.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
That's what I think.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Christianstowney have been in my progressive love club for more
than a year and now they just jumped into the
divorce proof club, which takes it up a few notches.
So what do you all think? Are you glad you joined?
Is there the drama? How are you settling it? Because really,
I'm telling y'all, all four of you, I'm sharing with
(29:06):
you that people really do not believe this is possible.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
I'm telling you that that's why they're not staying together.
Speaker 9 (29:14):
So yeah, we always tell you thank you because we
literally were done. Like I get choked up every time
because I'm so grateful. This is where we are now,
like sitting ugly, laughing and here with y'all because we.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Were like and shit, mm hmm.
Speaker 9 (29:31):
Now he literally like was walking out the door and
he said, let's just put on the video you brought and.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
It was your video.
Speaker 6 (29:39):
It was that initial video, and we were quiet.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
Because it was a long video. It's like ninety minutes.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
But the whole time we were dead silent.
Speaker 9 (29:46):
And then we had a conversation and we kept moving
from there, but we were done.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
So I would tell people, just give.
Speaker 6 (29:51):
It a try.
Speaker 9 (29:52):
You are gonna have to face you and that's challenging,
but I want to say thank you because that's nice.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Yes, that's not the first time I've heard that about
that video. I will link that video below. It's called
how to Handle Intense Emotions Without an Argument. It costs
just forty seven dollars. It's like one of my baby
beginner courses. I will put it down here. I didn't
know that story. Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
And so Orlando and Jamila they are you know, they're
here looking at y'all. They y'all are married, they haven't
married yet. So the club supports people and seeing different.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Levels to this shit. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Orlando, Emila, how has it been like hanging around all
us married folks?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
It's been great.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
I've always enjoyed being around married people and people in
relationships and just like people ever since I was young
because my parents were never together. So now I get
to like get some kind of input on like, yo,
how does it work? Like tell me something? Because the
people that that burke me, they ain't got nothing for me,
so please tell me something. So I always enjoyed being
(30:57):
around like other married people and just and not even
really asking questions, but just sitting and just seeming like
how they operate around each other. And my parents weren't
like great examples, but I had like on an uncle
who are like a mother and father figure, and like
just seeing how like they operated. They gave me like
a foundation that I wanted to mimic, and then I
just like kind of molded into my own. So this
(31:19):
really just takes like the foundation and just like puts
things on top of it that you need, Like, hey,
here's the story that you come to for venting, here's
the shopping wall you come to for like your battery,
and like so just having something.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
To to to like build on, right, and.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
You guys, you guys have each other too. How has
it been like with the guys? I noticed the guys
that go around are like they linked up. They they
linked they linked up this time.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Oh, I think last week we had like a men's
only like group and the group that we had split
up into, and that was I think really helpful, especially
for like other the other guys I was there, because
I think a lot of things for us is just
feeling like we're alone in this situation and then when
you realize, n bro, you're not alone, and here's some guidance.
And specifically for me, I didn't have much guidance in
(32:11):
like my teens, which is I think is a pivotal
moment for a man or boy to like show like, hey,
you're about to go into life and these are the
things you're going to come across, and a lot of
us like didn't have that, So now we're like tripping out,
Like am I tripping?
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Am I bugging out? Like? Am I doing it wrong?
It's like, No, you're not doing anything wrong.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
This is just what's what's come up in life and
why you're at the position you're at now. And just
to have like another another thought process coming from somebody
that's similar to you as far as like having to
be in the same gender is what really is helpful
to two men.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Yeah, they're talking about last week they were with my husband, y'all.
My husband comes into the club from time to time
to support the men, and they also have their own
private group where they are supported as well. Jamila and
you know, Jimmy, Jamila and Shanny we all got together
last week too, didn't we tell them?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Tell them about that? What was your experience like with that?
Jamila and Shannon? You go first, Jamila.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
I think it was like clarity that.
Speaker 7 (33:14):
It's not just me that a lot of women have
have a little bit of a problem between a devote
tee and being nurturing and being soft and being inviting.
And I think a lot of us have built that
up because it's survival and like you can't believe everything
and Nigga tells you and you have to be able
to make decisions. And also we've been told that men
(33:34):
are dumb and men are this, and like don't trust
that shit, like you know, check and balance it yourself.
Speaker 6 (33:41):
And so I think that it brought a lot of.
Speaker 7 (33:46):
Discomfort to know that I'm not the only one struggling
in certain areas. And also just from you too, Kenya,
just like understanding the value and the power of falling
back and falling into your softness and falling into your
I would say, like the mothering of the man. I
know a lot of women we talk about like I'm
not his mom and we're not, but there is a
(34:09):
level of nurturing and mothering that men are seeking from women,
like this is the primary foundational sprouting of the opposite
sex love.
Speaker 6 (34:21):
And so a lot of us are existing in.
Speaker 7 (34:23):
Our like our childhood selves, seeking validation for mothers and fathers.
And so if we completely reject those ideas, we miss
the opportunity to really pour into places that our partner's
parents missed and actually like embracing that role and knowing
how powerful it is. When you're like, oh my god,
(34:44):
that's a wonderful idea. I love it everything in my
power to make it work. Oh my god, babe, you
want to go to check E Cheese and do what
I love check E Cheese or whatever the fuck it is,
and not come with like our immediate speculat or like
our immediately that.
Speaker 6 (35:01):
Doesn't fucking work, like what those are? Like what are
you talking about?
Speaker 7 (35:05):
And I recognize how you know, just how the roles
and reinerating how important that power is is and so
I appreciate that from you.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Good.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
That's what she's talking about. Y'all is down here at
the bottom of the chart.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
We practice. We literally did skits to practice.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
The devotee energetic, the conservation is energetic, the lover energetic.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
And the visionary.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
And so that's what we have the women working on
and we have the men working up here. However, men
can be down here and the women can be up here.
It doesn't matter. These are two sides of the brain.
You have both sides. All of us do.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
So that's a big deal here at the academy. I appreciate.
Speaker 6 (35:46):
Yeah, that's funds.
Speaker 7 (35:49):
People are like, do this and it makes sense logically,
but to do it in action it is not fucking
meane the same thing.
Speaker 6 (35:55):
Of course, I know I should be supportive, but like,
how does that actually look and feel?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
So it was beneficial, good what you got to say
on that, Shanny, And I know I'm keeping y' all along.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
We're gonna go soon. Thank you all so much for
this go ahead, Shanny.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
Great.
Speaker 6 (36:10):
I loved the women's only group.
Speaker 9 (36:13):
When we were kind of meeting, it seemed like all
of us kind of relaxed our shoulders. It was like, oh,
the feminine, It's so good to be in this space.
And one of the biggest things I enjoyed was learning
the deities associated with the different type of feminine archetypes,
because like you said, you only learn learn devotee, like
that's the only one that's kind of accepted. But in
the group, the women were so vulnerable and so open.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
And actually so soft.
Speaker 9 (36:36):
I don't know if they believe that, but they were
so open to hearing things and they also encouraged me.
So being in the group helped a lot, just to
learn more and more of Oh, I can be feminine
this way and this way, and actually I'm just as
powerful and just to plug Deva Deep Dive because I am.
I'm taking those as well. I'm learning, like I am
very powerful in these things. And I see how Chris
(36:58):
has changed.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
He doesn't know it I'm doing, but I know what
I'm doing and I feel great and I'm so relieved
and I don't feel a stress.
Speaker 9 (37:04):
So being in the group last week with the girls,
it was just nice to just be around their energy.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
Honestly, it was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
That's so nice she's talking about. She was in a
Deva Deep Dive.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Deep A Deep Dive is a course that we do
here at the Academy that takes you all the way
into lover.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
So the lover. If you want to strengthen your lover,
you need to get in a Depa deep dive.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
This is like where we take the women into actual
you know, what is a sex ritual? What is a sensuality?
Like I'm showing in the videos, I'm doing the rituals
with you and it is really powerful. It really it
helps you to affect your relationship without using force because
force is never gonna work. I mean even when men
(37:50):
use force half the time, it don't work. I mean
it's not it's force alone. It's just such a lonely
energetic it's it's it's really it doesn't work outside of
the community. So here's force forces, soldier, What are you
forcing if you didn't get the objective from the monk,
(38:11):
the buy in from the.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Devotee, the clearing, the strategy, now the king.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Now the king tells you to use force in this
way because the visionary said so.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Now force works.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Outside of a structure. Force is useless, And I don't
know why people think it's so cool.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Well I force, I say it, I'm I'm.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Done with this, but I'm for that's forced outside of
any structure, it's useless.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Chris, I see you shaking your hand. You give me
your insight, conservation is a wizard?
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Tell me.
Speaker 8 (38:49):
And my tripping, Well, that's that's something I learned from
like having kids and stuff and just from like life
growing up. I don't I don't try to force. You
never really get a good result when you try to
force people to do things. When I did my number chart,
it said that I do exist on the dominant end
of the spectrum, however, like it reflects more of a
(39:13):
passive dominance, which to me has always been energetically and
sexually aligning. For me, it's like I don't want to
take from somebody. I would rather them, I would rather
my essence be something that they submit to. And that,
to me, that's the most because you give the person
a choice. And I think that that's something that in
(39:34):
our Western way of thinking about things, we try to
force the women to not feel their masculine side if
I tell them they should be eminent or submission rather
set the dominant or feminine, And when you realize you
celebrate both that plus the plus the other side. It's
like you just let them become their whole entire self.
(39:56):
And the same with men. It's like men were forced
to believe like, you won't be you won't be treaded
value unless you completely embody these dominant masculine roles. But
it's like, nah, you really got to understand and feel
the whole thing. And when you when you when you
have that choice, when you don't, we aren't forced to
be in one area. Then you can just allow yourself
(40:17):
to flow. And that's where everything kind of starts to
come together in by opinion, I think.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
We're gonna get there, y'all.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
I think we're gonna get there, or I know we're
gonna get there, and I think I'm gonna see it.
I think we're gonna see it in our lifetime where
this starts to rearrange itself, y'all. I'm so excited and
so happy and so glad that you're here tonight. We
do have to go, y'all know, I'll be keeping stuff
on a real basic level.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Let people know we're here.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
You guys, sharing your stories is letting people know we're here,
and they're watching. They're watching, they want to know. So
you all are showing up, showing out. Thank you so much.
If you are interested in getting into this type of community,
working on this type of work, please, by y'all means
you the links the Worksproof Club starts again August twenty first,
twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
So if you have friends who need this, people who
are in relationships, let's stop these breakups.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Thank you. We'll see if you go.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Ahead, we'll see you.
Speaker 4 (41:12):
If you gotta force it it don't fit, or what
if you got to force it it don't fit.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Oh, that's all we were talking about. That's the whole thing.
Don't force it in there. Please put some move on that.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
We love you guys. We'll see you out next week.
Thank you. Byeya alah like this
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