Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Love Light and Wisdom with your host Shashawa.
Love Light and Wisdom inspires listeners to tune into their
authentic selves and create a happier and healthier life, take
control and experience true happiness. So please welcome the host
of Love Light and Wisdom, Shashawa.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello everybody, my name is Shoshana Auberbach, and welcome to
Love Light and Wisdom and you're watching me live on
Bold Brave TV. Today, we're going to continue our series
on the Inner Child and reclaiming the Lost Parts. Specifically
today in this series, we're going to continue our discussion
(00:51):
that we started in the last show about roles.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
That people play.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
They can be adaptive in childhood and when they continue
into adulthood they are mal adaptive. And we have different
parts of ourselves, different voices telling us different things, and
when we're not in harmony, then it manifests itself as depression, anxiety, moodiness, discontent.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Somatic complaints.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
So in today's show, we're going to continue our discussion
about how to harmonize these parts and understand the roles
that perhaps one or more roles that you played in childhood,
or maybe you know someone else.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Who has and to.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Better understand ourselves and where these parts are coming from
and the voices, and to give you tips and techniques
how to deal with them so that you can live
your happiest and healthiest and best optimal life.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
You deserve that, right.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So we're going to go to the next slide place
with the content of let me introduce myself. I'm a
music therapist and excuse me, license music therapist in the
State of New York.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I'm social worker and licensed music therapist in the State
of New.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
York, an adjunct psychology professor, and a certified practitioner of
the Emotion Code, body Code, and Belief Code. I'm also
a student of the Kosher any injury healing program called Moodtech.
So look me up on my site www dot Authenticadiance
(02:35):
dot life, Authenticradiance dot life and be.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Sure to like, subscribe, and comment.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And if you have anything you'd like to share during
the live show, please send us an email or.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
A chat or after the show you can do that
as well. We'd love to hear from you. So the next.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Slide Place, so again, today's topic reclaiming lost parts of
your inner child and using the emotion Code, will have
a very brief demonstration of the emotion code to free
yourself from maladaptive childhold roles so that you can be
authentically yourself. Understand how the parts of you got lost
(03:20):
in childhood in response to trauma, and how they continue
to affect your life as an adult until they're healed.
Understand the childhood roles you played in your family of
origin that shaped you as an adult, and using the
emotion code in tips that may help you to heal
(03:40):
and integrate those lost parts for a happier, healthier life.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Let's move on.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So what is the happy child? First of all, what
are we aiming to be? Optimally, that's how you were
supposed to, quote unquote opposed to be. You were meant
to be so resilient, playful, happy, feeling good about yourself
and your life.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
And feeling a secure bond.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
With your caregivers and the people around you, knowing that
consistently enough they were going to respond in a caring,
supportive way to your needs.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Let's look at the next live place. We're going to
do a.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Brief review for those of you who have been not
yet been following us so in this series about the
inner child and reclaiming your lost parts. We're looking at
who is really ruling the roost. We have a person
in an adult body with an adult mind, but it's
the inner child part of them that needs to be healed,
(04:50):
and that's the really the background operating program in the
adult mind. Especially when a person lashes out or get
triggered for so called no reason, that's your inner child speaking,
and that's why we're here today to help you understand
what that is and how it can be healed with
(05:13):
God's help. Let's look at the next line as we
review the lost parts of ourselves as the inner child
within all of us. It's the part of us that
feels emotions and is playful, intuitive and creative.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Let's look again. We're just going to flip.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Through for some review for those of you who haven't
been with us, and if you if you haven't been
with us, I encourage you to look at the previous
two episodes.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Let's move forward.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
John Bradshaw also was a speaker about the inner child
and reclaiming.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Those lost parts.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
He said, I believe that this neglected, wounded inner child
of the past is the major source of human misery,
and the healed inner child becomes a source of vitality
and creativity, enabling us to find new joy and energy
and living.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Let's look at the next line as a review, we.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Also looked at different attachment styles attachment between child and caregiver.
Are they and how they play out from adulthood and
growing up as I'm sorry, how they play out in
childhood which forms the type of personality of the adult.
(06:40):
And again this can be maladaptive in childhood. That with
healing and persistence and the right helping people in God's help,
you can heal from this. So again I encourage you
to look me up at www dot Authentic, radiance dot life.
(07:01):
Let's move forward. And why do these need to be reclaimed?
Because our system was designed by the Creator for holding,
homeostasis and balance and we are not.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Meant to be living in stress all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
But these parts are calling out for holding and harmonizing
and integration. They want to be heard and valid validated.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Witnessed, let out and expressed.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
And until they are healed, they will remain as the
background program and can contribute to dysfunction in adult relationships.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Let's move forward. So what happened to these lost parts?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
They got stuck as trapped emotions in the body, which
is what the emotion code, body code and belief code
explore and help to identify and release. They got pigeonholed
into a role by choice or by other people, and
they can come out when you least expect them because
they're lurking in the background, and when you get.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Triggered, you lash out or you may respond in a
way that.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Is uncharacteristic, but it's coming from somewhere and it's not
for so called no reason, and that's why we're here
to explore this.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So what we I also want to point out.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
That David Kessler, who is a grief expert and educator,
said what you avoid comes back at you, and what
you confront transforms you. And that's why we're here on love,
light and wisdom to help you in this process and
support you. Let's go to the next slide place and
(09:01):
what happens when those lost parts can't speak up? They
come out as somatic complaints, bottlenecked emotions, indigestion, depression, irritability, headaches,
neck aches, backaches. It's an awkwardness with speaking up, a
lack of self empowerment. But they do speak up verbally,
(09:23):
and nonverbally.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Also, sometimes people are just inhibited.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Maybe that's the response that they got from caregivers when
they dare to speak up and assert themselves, or maybe
it's a more rate a way of that culture or
family culture will call it. You don't get angry, especially
at a person of authority, And how can I be
angry at the.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Person I depend on in need? It's a very conflicted,
stimy kind of feeling.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
So this is what happens when those lost parts can't
speak up.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Let's move on.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
We also discussed in the last episode emotions and unmet needs.
This is Maslow's hierarchy of needs triangle, and when those
physiological and safety needs are not met, and that includes
emotional safety, how can we go on to feel good
(10:26):
about ourselves and go up the triangle and have peak
actualized experience when we are lacking those base needs at
the base of the triangle, such as love, validation, physical
safety of clothing, and shelter. Let's move forward as we
(10:49):
continue a brief review and some expressions of emotions and
unmet needs may include frustration, futility, depression, anxiety, deny, magical thinking,
wanting to harm oneself, negative thoughts, about oneself, self deprecation,
self harm, bypassing, and even abusing others.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Many people who grew up being the victim of an abuser.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Often become the person who abuses other people. So this
is how these unmet needs may manifest themselves outwardly in behavior.
But again, these can be changed with conscious awareness and
emotion code, body code, and belief code are some of
(11:38):
the modalities that I practice and that can be helpful to.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
You or people you care about. Let's move forward.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
We also looked at five trauma responses fight, flight, bond, flop,
and freeze. These are how people most frequently respond when
there's a trauma, and that depends on what I would
call their wiring. So if you're not happy with the
(12:11):
way you're responding, or it's a trigger, or it's not you,
or it's not who you want to be, again, this
can be changed over time with fortitude and vigilance and
conscious awareness. So please look me up at www dot
Authentic radiance dot life for more guidance and support about that. Okay,
(12:38):
let's move forward. We also looked at emotions and unmet needs.
Priority number one is a person and a person's life
is to get their needs met, and by playing these
maladaptive roles, we think we're getting their needs met and
we might be getting.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Our needs met.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
But as we grow older these are actually maladaptive into
adulthood and then we wonder why we attract certain types
of people, whether that's in a romantic relationship so called
friends sometimes or just unhappiness with ourselves. And this is
(13:25):
the premise of the mongo relationship therapy. A person attracts
the unfinished business in the unconscious mind because again, we
want to be whole and complete.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Let's move on to the next slide.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
We also talked about roles, and we're going to continue
further in today's episode about roles in a family system
and what if.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
You don't like or want your role. Roles have many benefits.
They have rules and behavioral expectations.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I know how to behave I know I'm a good
person when I'm following the rules. Roles also define how
people interact with each other. They can be assigned or assumed,
assigned by other people or assumed by oneself and take
up the slack the void in what's going on. For example,
(14:24):
if there's a lack of stability in the family, many
times the hero shows up and one of the people
in the family, especially.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
In the oldest child, to provide stability in the family.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Roles also create balance in a family system. So we're
going to take a look at these roles in depth
when we come back from our break in two minutes.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Again, this has been Shoshan Amberbach, your hostess.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Of Love, Light and wisd and you're watching me live
on Bold Brave TV.
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Speaker 2 (17:15):
Welcome back, everybody to Love, Life and Wisdom. I'm your hostess,
Shoshanna Auberbach, and you're watching me live on Bold Brave TV.
We've been talking about the inner child and maladaptive roles.
These are actually adaptive in childhood and become they are maladaptive, actually,
but they seem adaptive in childhood and they can continue
(17:39):
to be maladaptive in adulthood until they are interressed and
healed and released.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
So these are four of some of.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
The most common adaptive or maladaptive roles in dysfunctional families.
Dysfunctional families could be suffering, unfortunately, from addiction, alcoholism, mental
health issues.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
So the children who are.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Present in the home often take on the roles of hero, scapegoat,
lost child, clown or mascot, as well as other roles.
So we're going to be taking a look at these today.
We did touch upon the role of the hero in
the last episode, and we're going to take a brief
(18:32):
look at that for review and move forward. I'm sorry,
I do not know the origin of this information here.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I came across it maybe.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
In the nineteen eighties. I did look online. I cannot
find the source of it. So if you are familiar
with that, please drop the align. Okay, So let's move forward.
The hero, the hero, what's on the outside, someone who's
(19:07):
perfect in control, polished, can't be wrong. Smart gets positive
attention for being smart and put together, achiever, high achiever.
But what's underneath it's not a facade, But what's underneath
(19:27):
that finished, polished look is actually a fear of failing
or a fear of being over controlled. So I'm going
to overcompensate by being in positive or.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Sometimes negative control.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
What they do for the family and why they are
playing along with this dysfunction, we'll call it the family
feels we are.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Not so bad because this person is so good.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
It's kind of taking away the attention from the dysfunction
and infusing the positive energy what's needed. Stability, put together,
consistency in terms of positivity, a sense of everything is okay.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
I'm in positive. Someone's in positive control here.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
When things are out of control and consistently inconsistent and unpredictable,
that's very scary, especially for a young child. So without help,
when the hero does not get help for having these
unmit needs, which is where this role came out of
(20:44):
the need for stability and being in control, positive control.
When this does not get healed without help, the person
can become a workaholic, and that can also lead to.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Physical illness, being controlling in.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
A negative way, not very much fun, prideful and shamelessness.
And with help, it's possible to be a high achiever
in a positive way, be a mover and a shaker,
make positive change, make a difference in the world, and
be very successful. This person, as a we'll call it
(21:28):
healed person or healing person.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Has learned to say no and said boundaries, and.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
It's okay to not be perfect, to accept flaws and
be forgiving of oneself. So this is These are some
of the characteristics of the hero dysfunctional family role and
this is known to me, especially as the oldest child.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Thank god, I.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Came from pretty much an intact family, but as every family,
there are issues and that's why we are here in
this world to work out those issues. So, as the hero,
I've had to learn over time to take care of myself,
(22:19):
especially up to self care in a not a selfish way.
But I deserve good things in my life. I'm not
only here as a workhorse. This has been a journey
also to have compassion for myself and to not bypass
(22:40):
my own feelings and to take better care of myself.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
And that's why I'm here to share this wisdom with you.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Right, life is not much fun when you're working, even
if your.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Work is fulfilling, there needs to be a balance, all right.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
So let's move on to the next slide, and here
are some tips and some suggestions, And a lot of
this is from my personal experience. I hope it will
help you awareness of needing to rescue and control and
create safety. So I've gone from needing to rescue other
(23:21):
people to first rescue myself. Of course, unless there's an
emergency situation. And when you're on the airplane, what do
they tell you to do? Put on your own oxygen
mask first. One of my mentors once said to me,
in order to be self less, you first have to
(23:42):
have a self. So this means not bypassing my own needs.
My own needs matter.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Will they all get met all the time?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
No, that's life. But at least I have learned over
time and experience and with some amazing helping people to
at least acknowledge and validate that I have them, rather
than bypassing them. So again, rescue yourself first, unless of
(24:13):
course there's an emergency.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Be the hero for yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
First, Light not and have some fun, have balance in
your life, do something creative, art, music, dance.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
I just feel so enlivened when.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I make an art project, when I write a new song,
and perhaps we'll hear one of them later today. I
am in receiving mode. When I'm on that massage table
I click on in my brain, I am in the
receiving mode.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I am the client.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
I'm not the director, the.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Podcaster, the teacher, the instructor.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I am in receiving mode. Because there must be balance.
Put yourself back in your.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Body, all right.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
That means acknowledging things that are how you feel in
your body. So madic experiencing where am I feeling that
feeling in my body?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
And challenge yourself to be the audience, the guest, the student.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
This is very hardy, but it can be done and
it's very balancing. So let's move on to the next role,
which is the scapegoat, meaning the black sheep of the family.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
What's on the inside.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I'm bad, I'm angry, I'm impulsive, I'm.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Never good enough. This is the one who.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Gets blamed for everything, even if just because somebody has
to be wrong. And that's actually the displacement they call
that in psychology.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
It's not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
The child, but it's the family, the energy and the
family family. Somebody is not functioning right, so it must
be somebody's fault, right. What you don't see sometimes in
the scapegoat or a scapegoated person is hurt, rejection, full
(26:15):
of shame, feels like a loser. That's a lot for
a child to carry around as a heavy burden. What
they do for the family and why they play along
marriage is brought together to so called fix the scapegoat.
The hero feels good because the scapegoat is bad.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
In other words, they have opposite roles.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
We can avoid our so called bad stuff by downloading
it onto the scapegoat, just like in the biblical scapegoat
without help. What happens to this type of a child
in this role? They want to escape. It's very unpleasant.
Why would some want to feel bad about themselves most
(27:02):
of the time, so they dissociate.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
They can become addicts.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
They have trouble with the law promiscuousness because they want
positive attention, but that's often mistake, and actually the negative
attention is often mistake, and for love positive attention it
can get a person in trouble, being manipulated to take
(27:26):
an advantage of they continue to play this role in
jobs and future relationships, and they're constantly in trouble. What
is possible with help is they can learn to be
good and feel good consistently about themselves, They learn to
take appropriate risks, and they can become business owners and
(27:50):
missionary types after all because they had to overcome their
own shortcomings and they know and they have compassion for
people who are suffering. Let's look at some tips for
the scapegoat.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
By the way, before we do that.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
A research study of adults reflecting upon their childhood found
that youth who were placed into a scapegoat role were
more likely to experience abuse and neglect.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
They also often describe themselves as problematic or a burden.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Another study of younger and older adults found that individuals
who found themselves in a scapegoat role in their family
of origin were more likely to experience depressive symptoms. So
that's a hard life. That's feeling not good about yourself
and feeling blamed for everybody's problems and just like and
(28:56):
maybe not having the courage or the ability to seek
up and fight back, or maybe doing so in a
passive aggressive way.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
This is not a healthy relationship. And we're going to
talk more about.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Tips for the scapegoat when we come back from our break.
This is Showshanna Auberbach, your hostess of Love, Life and Wisdom,
and I'm talking to you live on Bold Brave TV.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
See in a few.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
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Speaker 1 (29:31):
What?
Speaker 4 (29:31):
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Speaker 2 (29:43):
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Speaker 4 (29:47):
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Speaker 3 (29:56):
Definitely, something is happening like a flow. Yeah, be good.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
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Speaker 2 (31:29):
Hi everybody, I'm Shoshanna Avrabath, your hostess of Lovelight and Wisdom,
and you're watching me live on Bold Brave TV. We've
been talking about functional or dysfunctional roles in a family,
specifically a dysfunctional family. Roles of the specifically the inner child,
(31:52):
and how to identify understand them, their benefits and consequences,
and some tips talking about the hero and escapegoat, and
here are some suggestions for a.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Person who's the scapegoat.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Develop awareness when others are blaming you unjustly and recognize abuse.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Say to yourself, that's not true, and who are you.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
To say that to me, so that it's not internalized
by the child.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Or the child part of the adult. I also suggest
learn verbal self defense.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Speak up when you're being abused, and this doesn't have
to be lashing out. It can be softly and firmly
saying that's not a nice thing to say, that's inappropriate
to treat me that way.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
I don't care for this, or simply walk away. Develop
awareness about how you take things.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
After all, if you were unjustly blamed by others, perhaps
you're doing that to yourself as the inner critic and
fostering self hatred. So become aware of how you're taking
in those negative messages to balance that negative feeling. Feel
(33:17):
deserving of what I would call responsible nurse suring a
responsible splurging and self care, whatever that means to you
as an individual. Exercise, going for a walk, calling a friend,
whatever brings you joy, Own your accomplishments and strengths rather
(33:41):
than being code dependent. I did this because in your
childhood maybe there weren't people to say, wow, that's a
good job. So now you can say that for yourself
and they feel awkward at first.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Self parenting is what we call that.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Self parenting can help you on the road to recovery
and healing.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
Trust yourself that.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
You do know what's best for you. Talk to yourself.
Self talk is what that's called encouragement. I can do this.
I'm doing a good job. Thank good job.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
You know.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Little victories are not so called little. They are very
big victories for some people.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Good job. Check it off the list, the to do list.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Make a list of what you like about yourself and
review it daily.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
This was something that was very helpful to me when
I was in a slump.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Forgiveness for faults and self compassion. This is hard for me,
I'm going through a hard time. It's okay, you know,
and although I have faults, I also have strengths.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Balance that perspective. I am not defective. I am not
all good, I am not all bad.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
And finally, I am the only one, not other people.
I am the only one who can make myself feel miserable.
And why would I do that when I'm a beautiful
creation of the Creator. So these are some tips for
the Scapegoat. Now I'm going to do a very brief
(35:21):
demonstration of the emotion code to show you how this
can be helpful to identify and release trapped emotions.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Especially when a child got stuck in.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
These roles of hero and Scapegoat, and as far as
the other roles.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
We're going to continue that in the.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Series in the following programs, so please join us for that. Okay,
so let's learn about the emotion code. This is something
that I got certified in and it's been very helpful
to me personally, and that's why I got certified, so
I can help other people.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Can we go to the emotion code slide? Please? Thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
So there is one of my shows about the emotion code.
Actually there's a couple of them, so I invite you
to look them up. But just briefly, the emotion code
was developed by chiropractor named doctor Bradley Nelson, who realized
that his patients were holding the benefits of the chiropractic adjustments,
(36:26):
and he figured out this is because of draft emotions
in the subconscious mind, which is really ruling what's going
on with a person and a lurking background program. So
by identifying these emotions some of what this is the
emotion code chart on the right side. Of course, there
are more emotions, but these are the ones that we
(36:47):
use in this modality. We identify them by using not
our logical mind, but rather muscle.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
We're testing resonance.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Of the subconscient just mind, what it's ready to release
and what it's resonating with.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Where that emotion.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Got stuck in the body, the age and the associated
person or event, or was it an inherited trapped emotion.
So I'm going to do a little session on myself. Okay,
So I mentioned before that in my family of origin,
I've played the hero, and while I felt very proud,
(37:29):
I'm capable, I'm competent, I'm in charge, it also drained
me because I had certain deeds that weren't met and
one of those was I felt I mean, I'm not
blaming anyone, this was just my experience and I've spent
(37:49):
a lot of time, effort, and.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Money to move on from that by.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Working with different professionals and doing things on myself. I
have to do everything myself, and I felt resentful about that.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
So I'm going to use muscle testing.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
This is now affecting me even as an adult. On
a ten point scale, ten is the worst, ten, nine,
eight seven, it's.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
Like a six or seven.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
It's still bothering me way into adulthood. Okay, So now
I'm going to ask for divine assistance to help me release, identify,
and release safely and easily.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
What is the first trapped emotion I can release with this?
Is it from colin A? Yes? Is it an on
road yes?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Row one three yes, crying, discouragement, rejection, rejection.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
This got trapped in my lung. Yes.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Sometimes these manifestos problems in that body part. Sometimes it's
a stressor I'm not yet manifesting as a balady. At
what age did this trapped emotion get trapped under?
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Ten? Yes? Ten nine eight seven six five? Who was involved? Okay?
My mother? And what was it connected to? Was it
that my sister was born.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
At around that time?
Speaker 3 (39:31):
A little earlier? Actually?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Yeah, so I was I'm the oldest child, and I
was dealing with.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Not being the center of attention anymore, and I felt.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Rejected that sister and I get along very well as nowadays. Okay,
but let's clear this out because it's still in the background.
So what I'm going to do and can take my
hand or magnet and I'm going to swipe over the
government meridian which is connected with all the other meridians
the energy pathways in the body, and I'm going to,
(40:06):
with God's help, lift this out of my system. Five.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Okay, deep breath, let that integrate. Okay. Is this released? Yes?
Thank you God. Is there is something else I can
release now? Yes?
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Collin a on rogue, Yes, ro one, abandonment, betrayal, forlorn lost.
This got trapped in my heart.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
Is it the same age and incident as the last
released emotion. Yes, So I'm going to ask God to
help me release this trapped emotion of lost that got
trapped in my heart around age five when my mother
was dealing with an infant. And also I felt rejected
(41:03):
by that lack of attention.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Okay, So I'm gonna hopefully release this now.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Two three, four, five, Take a deep breath, then integrate.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
Okay is this complete?
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (41:18):
All right? Good? Thank you? Is there? So we keep
going until.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
The body says enough and then we re evaluate on
that ten point scale.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Change. Is there another trapped emotion that can be released?
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yes, column a yes, I wrote yes, row one, row
three Yes crying this got trapped in my lung. Yes,
it's the same scenario age five and well with my
mother and my my sister. Yes so, and I'm gonna
(41:58):
hopefully release this swiping too, three or five?
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Is this complete? Yes?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
So so far we've released, I've released three trapped emotions.
Usually in a session we released between five and ten.
So we'll see how much we have time for today.
Is there something else? Yes, calm a yes, Odd wrote yes,
row one, row three Yes, crying discouragement got trapped in
(42:31):
my lung.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Yes, it's the same scenario age five, my mother, my sister.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yes, Okay, God please help me to release this trapped
emotion of crying. And who wouldn't cry when there's such
a major change in one's life?
Speaker 3 (42:49):
Okay? Is this complete? Yes? Thank you? Got Is there
something else that I can release safely and easily today? Yes?
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Callum a yes wrote yes, ro one ro one, Yes, abandonment, betrayal.
I've was such a big change in my life. I
felt betrayed. Now do we carry that into adulthood? Some
people do, And that's why we're here, because we want
to feel happier and healthier and hopefully not feel depressed anxious,
(43:28):
have you know, poor relationships, especially with ourselves, be miserable.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
Okay, so what's going on here?
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Betrayal, the same scenario got trapped in by heart? Yes, okay, God,
please help me release this two three, four five Is
this complete? Yes? So now I released I think about
five trapped emotions if I counted correctly, and I'm going.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
To rate myself again on a ten point scale. This
is now affecting me.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
I have to do everything myself ten nine, eight, seven, six,
five four. So I started at a seven and I
went down to a four just from releasing five trapped emotions.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
So for more information about the emotion.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Code or to schedule a consultation or session, please look
me up at www. Dot authentic radiance, dot life, Authentic
Radiance dot life. So we're going to talk a little
bit more about this when we come back from the break.
This is Showshanna Auberbach, your hostess of love, light and wisdom,
(44:40):
speaking to you alive on Bold Brave TV.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
See you in a few.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
What if there were a super tiny device that could
diagnose the brain and is smaller than a single human hair.
What if you could see inside the brain to help
an epilepsy patient during surgery, or to help the fight
against Parkinson's disease. Doctor Patricia Brodrick is proud to announce
the Broadrick Probe, a biomedical and electronic breakthrough imagine a
(45:11):
probe to help with the understanding and potential cure of
brain related diseases. To learn more, listen live to the
Easy Sense Radio Show with host Doctor Brodrick Wednesday's seven
pm Eastern on the Bold Brave Media Network and tune
in radio. And to help support the Broadrick Foundation, please
(45:31):
go to easysense dot com and learn how with your
help we can fight these horrific brain disorders. That's easysense
dot com to learn more and help support the Broaderick Foundation. Author,
radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveal strategies
(45:53):
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
Hawkins new book, Coached to Greatness Unlock Your Full Potential
with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins reveals strategies
to help readers accomplish more. He believes the book can
coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that the best athletes
(46:17):
get to the top of their sport with the help
of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance that helps
readers reflect on what motivates them. We discover and assess
their core values, philosophies, and competencies, find settings that allow
them to be the most productive, and track their progress
towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John Hawkins My Strategy Saturdays
(46:41):
one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network and tune
in radio.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
Welcome back, everybody.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
I'm show Shawn Aubraba, your hostess of Lovelight and Wisdom,
and you're watching me live on Bold Brave TV. We've
been talking about adaptive or maladaptive rules in childhood that
the inner child took on and into adulthood.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
With healing modalities.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Such as the emotion code that we just saw a
short demo of this can be healed.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
I'd also like to share with you another healing.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
Modality, which is music, and this is one of the
songs that I wrote, and you can look it up
on YouTube or Spotify or and your favorite platform.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Okay, so it's not.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
My fault what happened to me, But I can rewrite
scripts and live a happier, healthier life.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
Let's less him.
Speaker 6 (47:40):
It's not my fault what happened to me, Yet I
can rewrite my stay.
Speaker 7 (47:52):
The past coon not change the I can and will
to forge my.
Speaker 8 (48:01):
Own path and vision to forfill, to forge my own
path and.
Speaker 9 (48:09):
Vision, to fulfill.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
The scars and.
Speaker 7 (48:17):
Barbos branded on me. And innocent girl longing to be.
Speaker 10 (48:29):
Holy love had nothing more confused than her ange.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
She slammed the door.
Speaker 6 (48:42):
Confused and time she slamed badle.
Speaker 8 (48:52):
Taking too hard, trodging through life in diry.
Speaker 9 (49:00):
The pain strengthened by strive. I grew to be strong.
I grew to be tough.
Speaker 11 (49:12):
Yet deep down inside I suffered a lot. Yet deep
down inside I suffered a lot.
Speaker 12 (49:30):
My heart yearned fall love, my solid great peace.
Speaker 8 (49:37):
I turned to God and started to flee. I know
that there's more to life than justice.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
Survival.
Speaker 7 (49:52):
Lander canturn to place, survival.
Speaker 9 (49:58):
Lander.
Speaker 11 (50:00):
Can't to live.
Speaker 13 (50:08):
Show me the Rainbow show me the sun and help me.
Speaker 10 (50:16):
Fuggi all that was done.
Speaker 12 (50:22):
I want to leave with chin in my life. I
want to leave, not only serve.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
I want to leave.
Speaker 8 (50:39):
Not only serve.
Speaker 13 (50:47):
Show me the rainbow, show me the sun, help me
be leave that.
Speaker 10 (50:57):
I then, who transcorms the woods into a give and
gives it to others.
Speaker 8 (51:10):
Saw they can leave and gives it to others sally conly,
It's not my fault what happened to me.
Speaker 7 (51:33):
Now as a woman, I grew to see.
Speaker 13 (51:39):
The past cannot change.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
Yet I did and wild.
Speaker 8 (51:46):
I've brought my homepath.
Speaker 10 (51:50):
And vision too, fol fil.
Speaker 12 (51:54):
I've brought my arm path, pan vision two food.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
So I hope that you enjoyed my song.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
I wrote the lyrics, the music, the arrangements, and recorded
the vocals as well. And I invite you to look
me up on YouTube, Spotify and other platforms and enjoy
more of my healing songs. I hope that today's program
has touched you in a meaningful way. Please share it
(52:43):
with others like share and comment, And if you have
anything you'd like to discuss with me, please contact me
through Bold Brave TV or my website www dot Authentic
Radiance dot life and schedule a session of either the
body code, the leaf Code, Emotion code, or an intuitive reading.
(53:05):
And let's talk about how you can have the best, happiest,
most optimal life. And let's share some love light and
wisdom together. And I'd like to remind you that you
are never too old to have a happy childhood. This
has been Shoshana auberbacht your hostess of Love, Light and Wisdom.
(53:28):
Have a blessed week and I look forward to seeing
you next time on Bold Brave TV.
Speaker 3 (53:34):
Have a beautiful week.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
This has been Love Light and Wisdom with your host Shashwa.
Shashwa's proven approach takes the guesswork out of healing with
user friendly techniques that resonate deeply with her clients. Tune
in to Love Light and Wisdom Mondays at ten am
Eastern to hear Shashana discuss her too techniques and learn
(54:01):
how to apply them in your own life. Be You
Be Happy. Believe music excerpt for My Carry You in
My Heart Forever by Shoshana Offerbach, copyright twenty twenty four.
All rights reserved.
Welcome to Love Light and Wisdom with your host Shashawa.
Love Light and Wisdom inspires listeners to tune into their
authentic selves and create a happier and healthier life, take
control and experience true happiness. So please welcome the host
of Love Light and Wisdom, Shashawa.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello everybody, my name is Shoshana Auberbach, and welcome to
Love Light and Wisdom and you're watching me live on
Bold Brave TV. Today, we're going to continue our series
on the Inner Child and reclaiming the Lost Parts. Specifically
today in this series, we're going to continue our discussion
(00:51):
that we started in the last show about roles.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
That people play.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
They can be adaptive in childhood and when they continue
into adulthood they are mal adaptive. And we have different
parts of ourselves, different voices telling us different things, and
when we're not in harmony, then it manifests itself as depression, anxiety, moodiness, discontent.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Somatic complaints.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
So in today's show, we're going to continue our discussion
about how to harmonize these parts and understand the roles
that perhaps one or more roles that you played in childhood,
or maybe you know someone else.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Who has and to.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Better understand ourselves and where these parts are coming from
and the voices, and to give you tips and techniques
how to deal with them so that you can live
your happiest and healthiest and best optimal life.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
You deserve that, right.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So we're going to go to the next slide place
with the content of let me introduce myself. I'm a
music therapist and excuse me, license music therapist in the
State of New York.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I'm social worker and licensed music therapist in the State
of New.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
York, an adjunct psychology professor, and a certified practitioner of
the Emotion Code, body Code, and Belief Code. I'm also
a student of the Kosher any injury healing program called Moodtech.
So look me up on my site www dot Authenticadiance
(02:35):
dot life, Authenticradiance dot life and be.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Sure to like, subscribe, and comment.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And if you have anything you'd like to share during
the live show, please send us an email or.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
A chat or after the show you can do that
as well. We'd love to hear from you. So the next.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Slide Place, so again, today's topic reclaiming lost parts of
your inner child and using the emotion Code, will have
a very brief demonstration of the emotion code to free
yourself from maladaptive childhold roles so that you can be
authentically yourself. Understand how the parts of you got lost
(03:20):
in childhood in response to trauma, and how they continue
to affect your life as an adult until they're healed.
Understand the childhood roles you played in your family of
origin that shaped you as an adult, and using the
emotion code in tips that may help you to heal
(03:40):
and integrate those lost parts for a happier, healthier life.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Let's move on.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So what is the happy child? First of all, what
are we aiming to be? Optimally, that's how you were
supposed to, quote unquote opposed to be. You were meant
to be so resilient, playful, happy, feeling good about yourself
and your life.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
And feeling a secure bond.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
With your caregivers and the people around you, knowing that
consistently enough they were going to respond in a caring,
supportive way to your needs.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Let's look at the next live place. We're going to
do a.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Brief review for those of you who have been not
yet been following us so in this series about the
inner child and reclaiming your lost parts. We're looking at
who is really ruling the roost. We have a person
in an adult body with an adult mind, but it's
the inner child part of them that needs to be healed,
(04:50):
and that's the really the background operating program in the
adult mind. Especially when a person lashes out or get
triggered for so called no reason, that's your inner child speaking,
and that's why we're here today to help you understand
what that is and how it can be healed with
(05:13):
God's help. Let's look at the next line as we
review the lost parts of ourselves as the inner child
within all of us. It's the part of us that
feels emotions and is playful, intuitive and creative.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Let's look again. We're just going to flip.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Through for some review for those of you who haven't
been with us, and if you if you haven't been
with us, I encourage you to look at the previous
two episodes.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Let's move forward.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
John Bradshaw also was a speaker about the inner child
and reclaiming.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Those lost parts.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
He said, I believe that this neglected, wounded inner child
of the past is the major source of human misery,
and the healed inner child becomes a source of vitality
and creativity, enabling us to find new joy and energy
and living.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Let's look at the next line as a review, we.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Also looked at different attachment styles attachment between child and caregiver.
Are they and how they play out from adulthood and
growing up as I'm sorry, how they play out in
childhood which forms the type of personality of the adult.
(06:40):
And again this can be maladaptive in childhood. That with
healing and persistence and the right helping people in God's help,
you can heal from this. So again I encourage you
to look me up at www dot Authentic, radiance dot life.
(07:01):
Let's move forward. And why do these need to be reclaimed?
Because our system was designed by the Creator for holding,
homeostasis and balance and we are not.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Meant to be living in stress all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
But these parts are calling out for holding and harmonizing
and integration. They want to be heard and valid validated.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Witnessed, let out and expressed.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
And until they are healed, they will remain as the
background program and can contribute to dysfunction in adult relationships.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Let's move forward. So what happened to these lost parts?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
They got stuck as trapped emotions in the body, which
is what the emotion code, body code and belief code
explore and help to identify and release. They got pigeonholed
into a role by choice or by other people, and
they can come out when you least expect them because
they're lurking in the background, and when you get.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Triggered, you lash out or you may respond in a
way that.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Is uncharacteristic, but it's coming from somewhere and it's not
for so called no reason, and that's why we're here
to explore this.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So what we I also want to point out.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
That David Kessler, who is a grief expert and educator,
said what you avoid comes back at you, and what
you confront transforms you. And that's why we're here on love,
light and wisdom to help you in this process and
support you. Let's go to the next slide place and
(09:01):
what happens when those lost parts can't speak up? They
come out as somatic complaints, bottlenecked emotions, indigestion, depression, irritability, headaches,
neck aches, backaches. It's an awkwardness with speaking up, a
lack of self empowerment. But they do speak up verbally,
(09:23):
and nonverbally.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Also, sometimes people are just inhibited.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Maybe that's the response that they got from caregivers when
they dare to speak up and assert themselves, or maybe
it's a more rate a way of that culture or
family culture will call it. You don't get angry, especially
at a person of authority, And how can I be
angry at the.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Person I depend on in need? It's a very conflicted,
stimy kind of feeling.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
So this is what happens when those lost parts can't
speak up.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Let's move on.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
We also discussed in the last episode emotions and unmet needs.
This is Maslow's hierarchy of needs triangle, and when those
physiological and safety needs are not met, and that includes
emotional safety, how can we go on to feel good
(10:26):
about ourselves and go up the triangle and have peak
actualized experience when we are lacking those base needs at
the base of the triangle, such as love, validation, physical
safety of clothing, and shelter. Let's move forward as we
(10:49):
continue a brief review and some expressions of emotions and
unmet needs may include frustration, futility, depression, anxiety, deny, magical thinking,
wanting to harm oneself, negative thoughts, about oneself, self deprecation,
self harm, bypassing, and even abusing others.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Many people who grew up being the victim of an abuser.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Often become the person who abuses other people. So this
is how these unmet needs may manifest themselves outwardly in behavior.
But again, these can be changed with conscious awareness and
emotion code, body code, and belief code are some of
(11:38):
the modalities that I practice and that can be helpful to.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
You or people you care about. Let's move forward.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
We also looked at five trauma responses fight, flight, bond, flop,
and freeze. These are how people most frequently respond when
there's a trauma, and that depends on what I would
call their wiring. So if you're not happy with the
(12:11):
way you're responding, or it's a trigger, or it's not you,
or it's not who you want to be, again, this
can be changed over time with fortitude and vigilance and
conscious awareness. So please look me up at www dot
Authentic radiance dot life for more guidance and support about that. Okay,
(12:38):
let's move forward. We also looked at emotions and unmet needs.
Priority number one is a person and a person's life
is to get their needs met, and by playing these
maladaptive roles, we think we're getting their needs met and
we might be getting.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Our needs met.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
But as we grow older these are actually maladaptive into
adulthood and then we wonder why we attract certain types
of people, whether that's in a romantic relationship so called
friends sometimes or just unhappiness with ourselves. And this is
(13:25):
the premise of the mongo relationship therapy. A person attracts
the unfinished business in the unconscious mind because again, we
want to be whole and complete.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Let's move on to the next slide.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
We also talked about roles, and we're going to continue
further in today's episode about roles in a family system
and what if.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
You don't like or want your role. Roles have many benefits.
They have rules and behavioral expectations.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I know how to behave I know I'm a good
person when I'm following the rules. Roles also define how
people interact with each other. They can be assigned or assumed,
assigned by other people or assumed by oneself and take
up the slack the void in what's going on. For example,
(14:24):
if there's a lack of stability in the family, many
times the hero shows up and one of the people
in the family, especially.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
In the oldest child, to provide stability in the family.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Roles also create balance in a family system. So we're
going to take a look at these roles in depth
when we come back from our break in two minutes.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Again, this has been Shoshan Amberbach, your hostess.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Of Love, Light and wisd and you're watching me live
on Bold Brave TV.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Say in a few minutes, what if.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
There were a super tiny device that could diagnose the
brain and is smaller than a single human hair. What
if you could see inside the brain to help an
epilepsy patient during surgery, or to help the fight against
Parkinson's disease. Doctor Patricia Brodrick is proud to announce the Broadreidprobe,
(15:26):
a biomedical and electronic breakthrough imagine a probe to help
with the understanding and potential cure of brain related diseases.
To learn more, listen live to the Easy Sense Radio
Show with host Doctor Brodrick Wednesday's seven pm Eastern on
the Bold Brave Media Network and tune in radio. And
(15:48):
to help support the Broadrick Foundation, please go to easysense
dot com and learn how with your help we can
fight these horrific brain disorders. That's easysense dot com to
learn more and help support the Broaderick Foundation. Author, radio
(16:08):
show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveals strategies to
help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals. John M.
Hawkins' new book Coached to Greatness Unlock Your Full Potential
with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins reveals strategies
(16:29):
to help readers accomplish more. He believes the book can
coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that the best athletes
get to the top of their sport with the help
of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance that helps
readers reflect on what motivates them. We discover and assess
their core values, philosophies and competencies, find settings that allow
(16:51):
them to be the most productive, and track their progress
towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John hawkins My Strategy Saturday
one pm on the BBM Global Network and tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Welcome back, everybody to Love, Life and Wisdom. I'm your hostess,
Shoshanna Auberbach, and you're watching me live on Bold Brave TV.
We've been talking about the inner child and maladaptive roles.
These are actually adaptive in childhood and become they are maladaptive, actually,
but they seem adaptive in childhood and they can continue
(17:39):
to be maladaptive in adulthood until they are interressed and
healed and released.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
So these are four of some of.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
The most common adaptive or maladaptive roles in dysfunctional families.
Dysfunctional families could be suffering, unfortunately, from addiction, alcoholism, mental
health issues.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
So the children who are.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Present in the home often take on the roles of hero, scapegoat,
lost child, clown or mascot, as well as other roles.
So we're going to be taking a look at these today.
We did touch upon the role of the hero in
the last episode, and we're going to take a brief
(18:32):
look at that for review and move forward. I'm sorry,
I do not know the origin of this information here.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I came across it maybe.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
In the nineteen eighties. I did look online. I cannot
find the source of it. So if you are familiar
with that, please drop the align. Okay, So let's move forward.
The hero, the hero, what's on the outside, someone who's
(19:07):
perfect in control, polished, can't be wrong. Smart gets positive
attention for being smart and put together, achiever, high achiever.
But what's underneath it's not a facade, But what's underneath
(19:27):
that finished, polished look is actually a fear of failing
or a fear of being over controlled. So I'm going
to overcompensate by being in positive or.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Sometimes negative control.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
What they do for the family and why they are
playing along with this dysfunction, we'll call it the family
feels we are.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Not so bad because this person is so good.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
It's kind of taking away the attention from the dysfunction
and infusing the positive energy what's needed. Stability, put together,
consistency in terms of positivity, a sense of everything is okay.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
I'm in positive. Someone's in positive control here.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
When things are out of control and consistently inconsistent and unpredictable,
that's very scary, especially for a young child. So without help,
when the hero does not get help for having these
unmit needs, which is where this role came out of
(20:44):
the need for stability and being in control, positive control.
When this does not get healed without help, the person
can become a workaholic, and that can also lead to.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Physical illness, being controlling in.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
A negative way, not very much fun, prideful and shamelessness.
And with help, it's possible to be a high achiever
in a positive way, be a mover and a shaker,
make positive change, make a difference in the world, and
be very successful. This person, as a we'll call it
(21:28):
healed person or healing person.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Has learned to say no and said boundaries, and.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
It's okay to not be perfect, to accept flaws and
be forgiving of oneself. So this is These are some
of the characteristics of the hero dysfunctional family role and
this is known to me, especially as the oldest child.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Thank god, I.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Came from pretty much an intact family, but as every family,
there are issues and that's why we are here in
this world to work out those issues. So, as the hero,
I've had to learn over time to take care of myself,
(22:19):
especially up to self care in a not a selfish way.
But I deserve good things in my life. I'm not
only here as a workhorse. This has been a journey
also to have compassion for myself and to not bypass
(22:40):
my own feelings and to take better care of myself.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
And that's why I'm here to share this wisdom with you.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Right, life is not much fun when you're working, even
if your.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Work is fulfilling, there needs to be a balance, all right.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
So let's move on to the next slide, and here
are some tips and some suggestions, And a lot of
this is from my personal experience. I hope it will
help you awareness of needing to rescue and control and
create safety. So I've gone from needing to rescue other
(23:21):
people to first rescue myself. Of course, unless there's an
emergency situation. And when you're on the airplane, what do
they tell you to do? Put on your own oxygen
mask first. One of my mentors once said to me,
in order to be self less, you first have to
(23:42):
have a self. So this means not bypassing my own needs.
My own needs matter.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Will they all get met all the time?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
No, that's life. But at least I have learned over
time and experience and with some amazing helping people to
at least acknowledge and validate that I have them, rather
than bypassing them. So again, rescue yourself first, unless of
(24:13):
course there's an emergency.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Be the hero for yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
First, Light not and have some fun, have balance in
your life, do something creative, art, music, dance.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
I just feel so enlivened when.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I make an art project, when I write a new song,
and perhaps we'll hear one of them later today. I
am in receiving mode. When I'm on that massage table
I click on in my brain, I am in the
receiving mode.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I am the client.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
I'm not the director, the.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Podcaster, the teacher, the instructor.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I am in receiving mode. Because there must be balance.
Put yourself back in your.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Body, all right.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
That means acknowledging things that are how you feel in
your body. So madic experiencing where am I feeling that
feeling in my body?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
And challenge yourself to be the audience, the guest, the student.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
This is very hardy, but it can be done and
it's very balancing. So let's move on to the next role,
which is the scapegoat, meaning the black sheep of the family.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
What's on the inside.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I'm bad, I'm angry, I'm impulsive, I'm.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Never good enough. This is the one who.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Gets blamed for everything, even if just because somebody has
to be wrong. And that's actually the displacement they call
that in psychology.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
It's not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
The child, but it's the family, the energy and the
family family. Somebody is not functioning right, so it must
be somebody's fault, right. What you don't see sometimes in
the scapegoat or a scapegoated person is hurt, rejection, full
(26:15):
of shame, feels like a loser. That's a lot for
a child to carry around as a heavy burden. What
they do for the family and why they play along
marriage is brought together to so called fix the scapegoat.
The hero feels good because the scapegoat is bad.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
In other words, they have opposite roles.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
We can avoid our so called bad stuff by downloading
it onto the scapegoat, just like in the biblical scapegoat
without help. What happens to this type of a child
in this role? They want to escape. It's very unpleasant.
Why would some want to feel bad about themselves most
(27:02):
of the time, so they dissociate.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
They can become addicts.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
They have trouble with the law promiscuousness because they want
positive attention, but that's often mistake, and actually the negative
attention is often mistake, and for love positive attention it
can get a person in trouble, being manipulated to take
(27:26):
an advantage of they continue to play this role in
jobs and future relationships, and they're constantly in trouble. What
is possible with help is they can learn to be
good and feel good consistently about themselves, They learn to
take appropriate risks, and they can become business owners and
(27:50):
missionary types after all because they had to overcome their
own shortcomings and they know and they have compassion for
people who are suffering. Let's look at some tips for
the scapegoat.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
By the way, before we do that.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
A research study of adults reflecting upon their childhood found
that youth who were placed into a scapegoat role were
more likely to experience abuse and neglect.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
They also often describe themselves as problematic or a burden.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Another study of younger and older adults found that individuals
who found themselves in a scapegoat role in their family
of origin were more likely to experience depressive symptoms. So
that's a hard life. That's feeling not good about yourself
and feeling blamed for everybody's problems and just like and
(28:56):
maybe not having the courage or the ability to seek
up and fight back, or maybe doing so in a
passive aggressive way.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
This is not a healthy relationship. And we're going to
talk more about.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Tips for the scapegoat when we come back from our break.
This is Showshanna Auberbach, your hostess of Love, Life and Wisdom,
and I'm talking to you live on Bold Brave TV.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
See in a few.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
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Speaker 1 (29:31):
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Speaker 4 (29:31):
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Speaker 2 (29:43):
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Speaker 3 (29:56):
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Speaker 4 (30:01):
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Speaker 5 (30:28):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
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(30:48):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for The Caring Generation
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(31:08):
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Speaker 2 (31:29):
Hi everybody, I'm Shoshanna Avrabath, your hostess of Lovelight and Wisdom,
and you're watching me live on Bold Brave TV. We've
been talking about functional or dysfunctional roles in a family,
specifically a dysfunctional family. Roles of the specifically the inner child,
(31:52):
and how to identify understand them, their benefits and consequences,
and some tips talking about the hero and escapegoat, and
here are some suggestions for a.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Person who's the scapegoat.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Develop awareness when others are blaming you unjustly and recognize abuse.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Say to yourself, that's not true, and who are you.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
To say that to me, so that it's not internalized
by the child.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Or the child part of the adult. I also suggest
learn verbal self defense.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Speak up when you're being abused, and this doesn't have
to be lashing out. It can be softly and firmly
saying that's not a nice thing to say, that's inappropriate
to treat me that way.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
I don't care for this, or simply walk away. Develop
awareness about how you take things.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
After all, if you were unjustly blamed by others, perhaps
you're doing that to yourself as the inner critic and
fostering self hatred. So become aware of how you're taking
in those negative messages to balance that negative feeling. Feel
(33:17):
deserving of what I would call responsible nurse suring a
responsible splurging and self care, whatever that means to you
as an individual. Exercise, going for a walk, calling a friend,
whatever brings you joy, Own your accomplishments and strengths rather
(33:41):
than being code dependent. I did this because in your
childhood maybe there weren't people to say, wow, that's a
good job. So now you can say that for yourself
and they feel awkward at first.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Self parenting is what we call that.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Self parenting can help you on the road to recovery
and healing.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
Trust yourself that.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
You do know what's best for you. Talk to yourself.
Self talk is what that's called encouragement. I can do this.
I'm doing a good job. Thank good job.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
You know.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Little victories are not so called little. They are very
big victories for some people.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Good job. Check it off the list, the to do list.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Make a list of what you like about yourself and
review it daily.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
This was something that was very helpful to me when
I was in a slump.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Forgiveness for faults and self compassion. This is hard for me,
I'm going through a hard time. It's okay, you know,
and although I have faults, I also have strengths.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Balance that perspective. I am not defective. I am not
all good, I am not all bad.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
And finally, I am the only one, not other people.
I am the only one who can make myself feel miserable.
And why would I do that when I'm a beautiful
creation of the Creator. So these are some tips for
the Scapegoat. Now I'm going to do a very brief
(35:21):
demonstration of the emotion code to show you how this
can be helpful to identify and release trapped emotions.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Especially when a child got stuck in.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
These roles of hero and Scapegoat, and as far as
the other roles.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
We're going to continue that in the.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Series in the following programs, so please join us for that. Okay,
so let's learn about the emotion code. This is something
that I got certified in and it's been very helpful
to me personally, and that's why I got certified, so
I can help other people.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Can we go to the emotion code slide? Please? Thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
So there is one of my shows about the emotion code.
Actually there's a couple of them, so I invite you
to look them up. But just briefly, the emotion code
was developed by chiropractor named doctor Bradley Nelson, who realized
that his patients were holding the benefits of the chiropractic adjustments,
(36:26):
and he figured out this is because of draft emotions
in the subconscious mind, which is really ruling what's going
on with a person and a lurking background program. So
by identifying these emotions some of what this is the
emotion code chart on the right side. Of course, there
are more emotions, but these are the ones that we
(36:47):
use in this modality. We identify them by using not
our logical mind, but rather muscle.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
We're testing resonance.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Of the subconscient just mind, what it's ready to release
and what it's resonating with.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Where that emotion.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Got stuck in the body, the age and the associated
person or event, or was it an inherited trapped emotion.
So I'm going to do a little session on myself. Okay,
So I mentioned before that in my family of origin,
I've played the hero, and while I felt very proud,
(37:29):
I'm capable, I'm competent, I'm in charge, it also drained
me because I had certain deeds that weren't met and
one of those was I felt I mean, I'm not
blaming anyone, this was just my experience and I've spent
(37:49):
a lot of time, effort, and.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Money to move on from that by.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Working with different professionals and doing things on myself. I
have to do everything myself, and I felt resentful about that.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
So I'm going to use muscle testing.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
This is now affecting me even as an adult. On
a ten point scale, ten is the worst, ten, nine,
eight seven, it's.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
Like a six or seven.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
It's still bothering me way into adulthood. Okay, So now
I'm going to ask for divine assistance to help me release, identify,
and release safely and easily.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
What is the first trapped emotion I can release with this?
Is it from colin A? Yes? Is it an on
road yes?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Row one three yes, crying, discouragement, rejection, rejection.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
This got trapped in my lung. Yes.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Sometimes these manifestos problems in that body part. Sometimes it's
a stressor I'm not yet manifesting as a balady. At
what age did this trapped emotion get trapped under?
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Ten? Yes? Ten nine eight seven six five? Who was involved? Okay?
My mother? And what was it connected to? Was it
that my sister was born.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
At around that time?
Speaker 3 (39:31):
A little earlier? Actually?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Yeah, so I was I'm the oldest child, and I
was dealing with.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Not being the center of attention anymore, and I felt.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Rejected that sister and I get along very well as nowadays. Okay,
but let's clear this out because it's still in the background.
So what I'm going to do and can take my
hand or magnet and I'm going to swipe over the
government meridian which is connected with all the other meridians
the energy pathways in the body, and I'm going to,
(40:06):
with God's help, lift this out of my system. Five.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Okay, deep breath, let that integrate. Okay. Is this released? Yes?
Thank you God. Is there is something else I can
release now? Yes?
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Collin a on rogue, Yes, ro one, abandonment, betrayal, forlorn lost.
This got trapped in my heart.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
Is it the same age and incident as the last
released emotion. Yes, So I'm going to ask God to
help me release this trapped emotion of lost that got
trapped in my heart around age five when my mother
was dealing with an infant. And also I felt rejected
(41:03):
by that lack of attention.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Okay, So I'm gonna hopefully release this now.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Two three, four, five, Take a deep breath, then integrate.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
Okay is this complete?
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (41:18):
All right? Good? Thank you? Is there? So we keep
going until.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
The body says enough and then we re evaluate on
that ten point scale.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Change. Is there another trapped emotion that can be released?
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yes, column a yes, I wrote yes, row one, row
three Yes crying this got trapped in my lung. Yes,
it's the same scenario age five and well with my
mother and my my sister. Yes so, and I'm gonna
(41:58):
hopefully release this swiping too, three or five?
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Is this complete? Yes?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
So so far we've released, I've released three trapped emotions.
Usually in a session we released between five and ten.
So we'll see how much we have time for today.
Is there something else? Yes, calm a yes, Odd wrote yes,
row one, row three Yes, crying discouragement got trapped in
(42:31):
my lung.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Yes, it's the same scenario age five, my mother, my sister.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yes, Okay, God please help me to release this trapped
emotion of crying. And who wouldn't cry when there's such
a major change in one's life?
Speaker 3 (42:49):
Okay? Is this complete? Yes? Thank you? Got Is there
something else that I can release safely and easily today? Yes?
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Callum a yes wrote yes, ro one ro one, Yes, abandonment, betrayal.
I've was such a big change in my life. I
felt betrayed. Now do we carry that into adulthood? Some
people do, And that's why we're here, because we want
to feel happier and healthier and hopefully not feel depressed anxious,
(43:28):
have you know, poor relationships, especially with ourselves, be miserable.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
Okay, so what's going on here?
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Betrayal, the same scenario got trapped in by heart? Yes, okay, God,
please help me release this two three, four five Is
this complete? Yes? So now I released I think about
five trapped emotions if I counted correctly, and I'm going.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
To rate myself again on a ten point scale. This
is now affecting me.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
I have to do everything myself ten nine, eight, seven, six,
five four. So I started at a seven and I
went down to a four just from releasing five trapped emotions.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
So for more information about the emotion.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Code or to schedule a consultation or session, please look
me up at www. Dot authentic radiance, dot life, Authentic
Radiance dot life. So we're going to talk a little
bit more about this when we come back from the break.
This is Showshanna Auberbach, your hostess of love, light and wisdom,
(44:40):
speaking to you alive on Bold Brave TV.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
See you in a few.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
What if there were a super tiny device that could
diagnose the brain and is smaller than a single human hair.
What if you could see inside the brain to help
an epilepsy patient during surgery, or to help the fight
against Parkinson's disease. Doctor Patricia Brodrick is proud to announce
the Broadrick Probe, a biomedical and electronic breakthrough imagine a
(45:11):
probe to help with the understanding and potential cure of
brain related diseases. To learn more, listen live to the
Easy Sense Radio Show with host Doctor Brodrick Wednesday's seven
pm Eastern on the Bold Brave Media Network and tune
in radio. And to help support the Broadrick Foundation, please
(45:31):
go to easysense dot com and learn how with your
help we can fight these horrific brain disorders. That's easysense
dot com to learn more and help support the Broaderick Foundation. Author,
radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveal strategies
(45:53):
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
Hawkins new book, Coached to Greatness Unlock Your Full Potential
with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins reveals strategies
to help readers accomplish more. He believes the book can
coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that the best athletes
(46:17):
get to the top of their sport with the help
of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance that helps
readers reflect on what motivates them. We discover and assess
their core values, philosophies, and competencies, find settings that allow
them to be the most productive, and track their progress
towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John Hawkins My Strategy Saturdays
(46:41):
one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network and tune
in radio.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
Welcome back, everybody.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
I'm show Shawn Aubraba, your hostess of Lovelight and Wisdom,
and you're watching me live on Bold Brave TV. We've
been talking about adaptive or maladaptive rules in childhood that
the inner child took on and into adulthood.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
With healing modalities.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Such as the emotion code that we just saw a
short demo of this can be healed.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
I'd also like to share with you another healing.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
Modality, which is music, and this is one of the
songs that I wrote, and you can look it up
on YouTube or Spotify or and your favorite platform.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Okay, so it's not.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
My fault what happened to me, But I can rewrite
scripts and live a happier, healthier life.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
Let's less him.
Speaker 6 (47:40):
It's not my fault what happened to me, Yet I
can rewrite my stay.
Speaker 7 (47:52):
The past coon not change the I can and will
to forge my.
Speaker 8 (48:01):
Own path and vision to forfill, to forge my own
path and.
Speaker 9 (48:09):
Vision, to fulfill.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
The scars and.
Speaker 7 (48:17):
Barbos branded on me. And innocent girl longing to be.
Speaker 10 (48:29):
Holy love had nothing more confused than her ange.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
She slammed the door.
Speaker 6 (48:42):
Confused and time she slamed badle.
Speaker 8 (48:52):
Taking too hard, trodging through life in diry.
Speaker 9 (49:00):
The pain strengthened by strive. I grew to be strong.
I grew to be tough.
Speaker 11 (49:12):
Yet deep down inside I suffered a lot. Yet deep
down inside I suffered a lot.
Speaker 12 (49:30):
My heart yearned fall love, my solid great peace.
Speaker 8 (49:37):
I turned to God and started to flee. I know
that there's more to life than justice.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
Survival.
Speaker 7 (49:52):
Lander canturn to place, survival.
Speaker 9 (49:58):
Lander.
Speaker 11 (50:00):
Can't to live.
Speaker 13 (50:08):
Show me the Rainbow show me the sun and help me.
Speaker 10 (50:16):
Fuggi all that was done.
Speaker 12 (50:22):
I want to leave with chin in my life. I
want to leave, not only serve.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
I want to leave.
Speaker 8 (50:39):
Not only serve.
Speaker 13 (50:47):
Show me the rainbow, show me the sun, help me
be leave that.
Speaker 10 (50:57):
I then, who transcorms the woods into a give and
gives it to others.
Speaker 8 (51:10):
Saw they can leave and gives it to others sally conly,
It's not my fault what happened to me.
Speaker 7 (51:33):
Now as a woman, I grew to see.
Speaker 13 (51:39):
The past cannot change.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
Yet I did and wild.
Speaker 8 (51:46):
I've brought my homepath.
Speaker 10 (51:50):
And vision too, fol fil.
Speaker 12 (51:54):
I've brought my arm path, pan vision two food.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
So I hope that you enjoyed my song.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
I wrote the lyrics, the music, the arrangements, and recorded
the vocals as well. And I invite you to look
me up on YouTube, Spotify and other platforms and enjoy
more of my healing songs. I hope that today's program
has touched you in a meaningful way. Please share it
(52:43):
with others like share and comment, And if you have
anything you'd like to discuss with me, please contact me
through Bold Brave TV or my website www dot Authentic
Radiance dot life and schedule a session of either the
body code, the leaf Code, Emotion code, or an intuitive reading.
(53:05):
And let's talk about how you can have the best, happiest,
most optimal life. And let's share some love light and
wisdom together. And I'd like to remind you that you
are never too old to have a happy childhood. This
has been Shoshana auberbacht your hostess of Love, Light and Wisdom.
(53:28):
Have a blessed week and I look forward to seeing
you next time on Bold Brave TV.
Speaker 3 (53:34):
Have a beautiful week.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
This has been Love Light and Wisdom with your host Shashwa.
Shashwa's proven approach takes the guesswork out of healing with
user friendly techniques that resonate deeply with her clients. Tune
in to Love Light and Wisdom Mondays at ten am
Eastern to hear Shashana discuss her too techniques and learn
(54:01):
how to apply them in your own life. Be You
Be Happy. Believe music excerpt for My Carry You in
My Heart Forever by Shoshana Offerbach, copyright twenty twenty four.
All rights reserved.
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