Overworking Ourselves: Juggling Motherhood Entrepreneurship and Invisible Illness

On this episode of "Lupus Has No Face," host Savannah Burks and special guest Vee Taylor dive into the raw, truth about juggling it all. From the tear-jerking emotions of a child's first day of school to the physical toll of overworking, they're not holding back. They get real about how to find balance as a "serial entrepreneur," the importance of self-care, and why you need to listen to your body before it forces you to sit down. This episode is a must-listen for any mother, entrepreneur, or anyone fighting an invisible illness.

Thank you for tuning in to "Lupus Has No Face," a podcast dedicated to sharing real stories and insights on living with Lupus and other invisible illnesses. Join your host, Savannah Burks, as she explores the struggles and triumphs of individuals navigating their health journeys, all while juggling life's many challenges. Don't miss an episode! Subscribe, listen, and share on all major podcast platforms. For more content and updates, follow us on social media and join the conversation.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:07):
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Speaker 1 (00:22):
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(01:20):
You glad to get into that. Thank you, guys for
tuning in to another wonderful episode of Lupus Has No
Face where we talk about real life, real struggles and
the power behind Lucas and beyond. I'm your host Savannah
Verse today and I do have our beautiful special guest, Ms.
Bibi is in the building. Hi. How you doing, baby?

(01:42):
I'm great. Thank you for asking, Thank you for having me. Absolutely,
we will be discussing overwork, mothers while juggling and invisible illness,
motherhood and balancing entrepreneur that we are all entrepreneurs in
some type of way shape er fash right in this city.

(02:05):
We all are. We do something, okay, okay, So just
to break the little ice whatever before we start. I
don't know if this is appropriate or not. You guys
don't come for me, please, but I have made my
manager and my best friend, my producer my tone a
hookah hort. He'd just be smoking hooka now. I could

(02:27):
not get him to smoke hookook to save my life
before I smelled as soon as I came in. I
was just like, I mean, you know, I just had
a kind of like tell me what's going on behind
the ton, but we're gonna drive back to it over here,

(02:47):
over here. So how was your daby before you came
to the studio. You want to know the truth for
you want to know the life politically correct, and we
want to know the truth. Oh okay, I didn't know
what kind of room this was, you know, I was
just making sure. Okay. Today has been very emotional because
I took my child to my child took my baby

(03:11):
to open house. She's starting school tomorrow, so this was
my first time seeing her in a school setting because
she doesn't go to daycare, and it was like heartbreaking
but refreshing. So I went through a lot of up
and down and like emotions and then I'm getting all

(03:32):
these calls from people checking in on me. So then
it just like reopened the wool. So yeah, one of
those days. Listen, First, I would like to ask, is
this your first child? Yes? Yes, my husband I'm a
bonus mom as well. My has swim boys and they're twelve,

(03:53):
so I am technically a mom of three. But Nola
was my first baby. Yeah. Oh my God, I know
that was scary. I remember going through that first time.
I kind of like wanted to be there for the
whole entire days. That's how you felt. Yeah, like literally,
So I was there because it was just open house.
So she got a chance to like pick up see
her cubby and put you know, and she got to

(04:14):
play around with the different stuff. So it was, you know,
it was a lot. And she actually said bye, mom,
go to work, because I've been like pressing her for
like a month. And when she said bye, I'm like
what that? So now how that's supposed to go? Like,
let me get my independence over here? It was a lot.

(04:36):
I bet I remember going through that. But I can
say she's it's gonna teach her her independence. I love that,
and you're gonna love it and she's gonna love it. Yeah,
I'm ready. I think I know what you're gonna get through.
And it's good that you have good friendship circle group

(04:57):
that was shaking in on you. Yeah kind of balance. Yeah,
that was that was helpful. And everybody wants to go
because tomorrow was the actual Thursday, and everybody's like, what
time we gotta be here? I said, no, y'all are
gonna make it so traumatic for her because she'sn't I'm
gonna go with y'all because I know y'all about to
go eat or something, So what's up. I want to
go with y'all. I want to go to Denny's or whatever.
You know. So no, I told them no, I'm not

(05:18):
even gonna take my mom tomorrow. It's is gonna be me.
That is, No one can go with me, not mom,
not dad, nobody. Oh wow, I think I'm going to
do something cute, like an ice cream something at like
seventeen hundred or something for her. So yeah, I haven't
put it together like tomorrow, I'm gonna put it together again.

(05:40):
I have to send out a text message. But yeah,
I'm gonna do something to celebrate her first day because
they all couldn't come. That is so dope. I wish
I could have read it, but tomorrow ONWN fully would
and it's so last minute. Well I'll let you know
if we do something this weekend. Okay, yeah for sure,
for sure. Yeah, yeah, we're literally cousins. Yeah, before we

(06:03):
get started to shout out to family and friends, shout
out to all the guys. I don't know if it's
six or eight of you guys. But y'all put on
such an amazing event. It was such drama free. It
really felt like a family reunion. I loved everything. Everybody
was giving and open to receiving. And I'm talking about
giving out expensive pool too. No literally, like shout out

(06:26):
to seventeen hundred. That fish was so good. I was like,
how much did these plays called? She was like, girl,
if you don't go over there and get something to eat,
I'm like, say less, yes. But it was some beautiful
people there, beautiful vies, beautiful tents. Like the whole thing
was just super super dope and it was so liberating,
Like I had so much fun, Like that was the

(06:49):
most one I had for a long time. And I
love to go out. That was like a different type
of bon I haven't been going out a lot, so
that for me was so refreshing. Oh I'm coming back.
Oh god. I was on my way out. My girlfriend
was like, you're gonna come and I'm like my shoes,

(07:11):
messing my shoes up and they got green marks all
on my shoes. But it was my hands all read.
I said, let me let it go before popping out.
Can have it one and one is tied. So next year, Yeah,
we gotta do something, so let's jump right into it.
Can you share a little about your journey, who you are,

(07:32):
what you do, and what inspires you to step into
entrepreneurship while balancing motherhood and marriage. Well, I am V
Taylor Tatee. Now, I mean, my real name is Ernie.
She you know me for real, So that's why you
can call me Bernicia. But I am a I guess

(07:54):
it's called a serial entrepreneur. We have a couple of
group homs. I'm an author. We do have a day program.
It's gonna be opening up pretty soon. What else do
I do? I used to do Airbnbs, don't do it
no more. I used to have a spot, Don't do
that anymore. Transportation, all all these things that I've dibbled
and dabbled in, and I'm just like, I'm not doing

(08:16):
that anymore. But I like to consider myself an expert
at all those things. Like I truly mastered everything that
I've done, and then I just move on. Hi flaky.
Why some people call it flaky? I just call it, Yeah,
a stereo entrepreneur. I got I got bored with it, right,
But I truly just kind of go on to the

(08:38):
next best thing, kind of like with juju pas, that's
become a thing because it's like the anniversary of it now,
so it's coming up in everybody's memory. So everybody's like,
where's our toothpaste. I'm like to tell people that you
make a chargo toothpaste is like you do what? Like, yes,
I have a whole studio. I make the toothpaste, I

(08:59):
bag it myself, I sell it all that because for
me when I buy it and the story really works. Yeah, yeah,
it's amazing. It really is. I mean, charcoal is the
main ingredient for me and it and it truly works,
you know. But I put all these little things together
that just with the best parts of my favorite stuff
that I use, and I put it together right and yeah,

(09:24):
but it's a lot of hard work. Making toothpaste is
not easy, and packaging it and all this stuff. So
I kind of stopped doing that so that I could
do more serious stuff. I guess serious, you gotta take
care of the teeth, beautiful you do too, you do too.
It's hard work, right, you know. But so I'm like

(09:47):
considering getting back into that so that I'm all of
these things, and I'm a new mom. My My youngest
is two, thank you, she'll be three in October. She's
started school tommorrow. I Toober fourteen. We best. Yeah. Yeah,
she's so spicy. My aunt that passed away, one of

(10:09):
my favorite eyes. Her birthday was October seventeenth, so I
kind of see a lot of her, you know, in
a lot of my aunt and my daughter. So it's
fun to see her just be a spicy little something.
So yeah, but what was another question? How do I bet?
How do you manage all of that while entrepreneurship, in
your marriage and being a new mom. You know, I'm

(10:31):
not gonna lie. The marriage is like the anchor, right,
It's like this thing that you can always fall back on.
But because of that, it's the thing that you kind
of let slide a little bit. When I say, that's
the person who we were on the phone the other
day and I was just ranting and I didn't give

(10:53):
him a chance to like say what he needed to
say before I had to move on to something else.
And I could just see it. We were on FaceTime,
so I could just kind of see his face kind
of like I didn't want to hear that right now,
you know. So the anchor is kind of like, no
matter what how much I beat it up, and not

(11:13):
beat him up as a person, but just beat the
marriage up, you know what I'm saying, put it to
the wayside or whatever it is, it's still kind of
like holding us together. So he holds me up and
I kind of just fly a little bit. That makes
you It makes a lot of sense. That is very beautiful.
That makes me. I feel like that's a definition part
of the definition of being married, and being newly married

(11:36):
is hard because we're still getting to know each other.
I learned stuff about him like every day, like oh
you chew like that I didn't join sign that.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Thing.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
But that is funny and it makes me look at
myself too, because it made me realize, like he's seen
this bonded holy T shirt, you know, no makeup person too,
Like I'm not without flaw, so I have to like
like it's it's almost like a mirror, like seriously, like

(12:13):
because you kind of you know when you're like if
you're single, you kind of have like this faside that
you got to keep up right, You're always fresh, you're
always fly, You're always out and about it just your
best self, because you have to represent right or you
should be at least right. Absolutely. I think most women
aren't always like that, but women, I feel like we're

(12:33):
like that. So once I got a chance to like
let it all, leave it out, it's kind of just
I'm like, whoa, I couldn't take this bra and let
my you know, once I got there, it was hard
to like reel it in right because I'm like, oh,

(12:55):
I'm just like not perfect and I had you know,
I've had older women and people married people kind of
tell me like, girl, you can't let him see everything,
like don't get comfort. Don't get comfortable, girl, Like you
still gotta be like show him who he married and
all this stuff. So that's work too, that's work. Like
I know this person is not supposed to leave me

(13:15):
no matter what, but he's seen me on the inside
childbirth and all these days, you know what I'm saying.
So it's like you have to work on that. So
it's a lot to like really and how do I
balance it? I don't know. Prayer, maybe God will make
so yeah, I can believe that. And that's funny. I've

(13:36):
never been married, but I haven't engaged sometimes yes, so
I chose not to get married just for you know,
when you go to bed at night time, it's like
are you really happy? Like things go on every day, right,
but at the end of the night, you are supposed
to be happy with everything that has happened, even the bad.

(13:57):
And I realized I didn't love them the way that
I thought I am, or was loving in love with them,
but I was never in love them. I just love them.
You love them, right, So I end up leaving. But
I say that to say like I keep my best
self when I'm in a relationship, like to the point
where it's like, let me see you just and I

(14:18):
was just like why or want to be in the
bathroom like no, why like asking me do I you
know pooping things like that. Yes, it's just you're yeah, yeah,
you're not area. But it's just like for men, I've
been told like that that makes them like love you
even more when they see the rar. But I hear

(14:40):
that it's kind of like for me, it's like so
this last time around at me being single, I actually
I gonna say let myself go. But I let myself
gain a whole lot of weight versus when I was
in a relationship, I never gained like I kept it
like playing with weird because I can see that. Yeah,
because you're just like together, Yeah, thank you. No, you're

(15:02):
gonna say that you look good, but I appreciate that.
But no, that's dope that you call your marriage to anchor.
And I believe that as long as you both want
it right right, anything in the world world, as long
as you both want it, and as long as you
both want to fight and put in the effort and
come back to the table with uncomfortable conversations, then anything

(15:25):
can work. Yeah. For sure, one side stuff just does
not work. So on the tire. If it's one sided,
it can't stay one sided forever. Because there's gonna be
a time Like I, you know, I talk about this
all the time. My husband is not a talker, you know,
so you gotta kind of pull it out of him.
There's gonna be a time where you have to be

(15:46):
that like figure it out person because the other person
just don't have it in him yet or at this time,
something else, like things go on outside of that little
house that could affect you know, it could be a
friendship like me and have friendship issues too. You know,
something else could be bothering him where it's not like, hey,

(16:06):
we get just fifty to fifty three to get you know,
it doesn't always work like that, so sometimes you do
have to like put in the extra effort. It's not
always gonna be fifty fifty fifty. Oh my god, I
need to do a relationship podcast. Yeah. I can talk
about this all day, and no, I don't have all
day but to speak on that. I never been married,
but I am a person because people like you cannot

(16:27):
speak on marriages if you've never been married. No, but one,
I think that's a lie because you are supposed to
be a wife before you actually get married your husband.
For you actually get married, that ring does not make
your wife or make exactly. So I say that to say,
like we don't know what men go through. And men

(16:47):
they are not talkers, you know what I'm saying. They
kind of just want to solve the situation. But it's
like or ignore it. Yeah, it's like it doesn't get
any better until you understand why does happen? And me
in in tune, you know what your feelings exactly, So
that's that's not that Yeah, Okay, have me, have me
and my husband on there s nothing, but we're gonna

(17:11):
put a lot of him. We're gonna put a lot
of him. Yeah, give him, give him a little tequila.
He may speak a little bit, yeap. When you hear
the when you hear the phrase do it all, what
does that mean for you personally? Right now? It means exhaustion?
For me, do it all? It's so literal for me

(17:33):
right now that it means, oh my god, like everything
like exhaustion. Literally, I hate to be the daddy down
there now. It does not make me feel empowered. It
makes me feel like, yeah, what what is going on
right now? You know? And I can receive that because

(17:55):
a lot of people think having your business is just
the end, be honest, Like you don't understand and the ugliness.
You work more harder being an entrepreneur than you do
your nine to five whatever, is probably less money geat
and less money and all of those things that people
don't understand the ugly side of it. So it's you
said that, like, I don't even want to do this today.
I want to get up to that. I don't even

(18:16):
want to be bothered with. But if I don't it
all falls down, literally, So what keeps you going? My family?
Like I have to I you know, I used to
want to impress my family, Like no, like I'm not
easily impressed by anything. I don't know. I'm just like,

(18:38):
oh yeah, but I just always made it like a
personal goal to like impress my family because I've seen
them go to like these new heights, so I'm like,
I want to do it too. I want to impress them.
I want them to be proud of me. I want
them to see my name in lights or whatever. And
it's always been about that, and now it's almost like

(19:00):
maintaining what I have, which has been very hard, and
then like leaving something for my children as well. So
that keeps me going. That is kind of shifted a
little bit. That's though, that you are influence your feelings
and that you understand the therapy to get here. How

(19:24):
far to therapy. It's nothing wrong with therapy, no, yeah,
just real quick, when you want to couch, try I
will go to my therapist. I'll just be laying down.
I'll just do that. Yeah. I do the absolute most.
And when I find myself talking to him, I answer
my own questions. Oh you're figuring it out. When I

(19:46):
talked to him out life, I'm like, oh my god,
I got it. You already had it. He just be
looking at me, like you when you walk in the door, right,
He's like, but write the check? That is something. Do
you find yourself doing that? I do. I talk a
lot because I just talk a lot, but I talk
myself through all of almost all of my issues. And

(20:08):
she'll ask like those reassuring questions or like follow up
questions that like help me dig deeper. But for sure,
like by the end of the conversation, I'm like, I've
given the thesis, the answer, the conclusion and everything. It's like, oh,
thank you, see you next week. That is dope. And
I feel like I'm advocate for therapists I love. I

(20:30):
feel like even when you think you are healed or
even I don't want to say heal part because people
lose that use that so loosely. I feel like different
periods of your life, different seasons is going to require
you to have a therapist. Absolutely. I haven't done marriage
counseling yet, but I would like to. I just have
to get my husband. I'm borrowed with it. Yeah, for sure,

(20:51):
he probably just wants you to set. Yeah, I'm gonna
have to tell him. I'm gonna be like, look, we're
going to talk on the podcast. It's just I'm like, okay, okay,
like yeah, no, no, no, no, it's okay. That is
so funny. Okay, we're going to be moving over to
overworking and pressure. What has been your personal experience with

(21:12):
overworking yourself? Have you ever too part question? Have you
ever had a moment where your body or health forced
you to slow down? Absolutely? Right? Now? Right, beautiful, look well,
put together? Do yes? You do? So stress does not
look like anything you guys. So stress for me is

(21:34):
gaining weight and I don't know how or why, but
it's because I'm just eating crappy So I lost all
this weight and then now I'm picking it back up
because I'm not taking care of my nutrition. But also
just overworking and your body feels so heavy and bad
to where it gets to the point where you can't
really function. So I always I used to be able

(21:57):
to kind of like find those little pockets where I
can like travel and reset. I get a lot of
my creativity and ideas from just traveling, seeing people in
the airport, looking at the signs, looking at the different colors,
looking at the buildings and things. You just draws something
up in me. But I haven't been able to I
put myself in like this grid old thing right now
in this year, and I haven't been able to do that.

(22:21):
So I'm like, where am I resetting? But I feel it.
I feel it in my shoulders, I feel it in
my feet, I feel I just feel it. You know,
my blood pressure is high now, so it's not even
manifesting my body. So yeah, it's it's right now for me.
So what do you do to manage that to bring

(22:42):
that down. I'm trying to work on it. I'm trying
to uh not get on the medication because you know,
once you get on it, it's hard to get off
of it. So my doctor said, just start walking, and
I'm like walk to where? Like where am my going?
And when do I have time? So I keep thinking.

(23:03):
I'm like, but I'm going to try to walk in
the mornings with my daughter because I don't do that,
like her sitter takes her out and walks and take
her to the park and stuff like that. While I'm
like getting my little moments in you know what I mean.
But I very real, like if I take her to
the park. We're driving like I'm very really like active,
and it's like it's no literally that's how I always feel,

(23:26):
but it's true. I do have five minutes because I'm scrolling,
I'm making statuses, I'm whatever, I'm checking emails, So I
have the five you know, maybe I can figure out
a way to push the stroller and you know, I
don't know stroll at the same time. But but my
doctor swears that it's not so out of control that

(23:47):
if I just start moving, I would get better. So
I haven't done anything yet. I'm in the like planning
stages up and I've even made like massage appointments and
had to pay for him and not make up. Had
to call my friend and can you please take this
massage deployments already paid for, you know that kind of thing,
And I'm trying. We talked about that before too, But

(24:09):
I have one on the books. I could not make
my last, this last one, but I have one on
the books, so I'm gonna do that and do a day.
But I need like a full weekend of just sleeping
in a nice, plush hotel and just waking up, order
room service, eating, going back and sleep. I need that
really bad. Do it. When you control your businesses, it

(24:33):
won't fall in two days. Because if you don't get
yourself under control, it's gonna make you sit down to
where your stuff is gonna be suffering because you're not
gonna have the people in place that to find that
you need them to have. So I'm gonna do it.
Please do walk because it calms your your body down,
It calms your mind, it really does. It calms your

(24:53):
body down, and so that is gonna help regulate your
blood pressure. You know, just drinking on water, exercising fifteen
minutes for yourself to do it, to do it, because
what's happening is your body is eating from the inside
and that's why you all feel all of that pain.
Some people don't know when they're stressed out, but your
body tells you. Your body tells you when you're stressed out.

(25:15):
So you have five minutes, you have a day, you
have two days. Yeah, it's not gonna hurt when you sleep.
You can't check emails when you you can't when do
I sleep, though you need to that's the problem too, No,
you you right now, I don't know what I'm gonna
say your businesses are running you and for sure to

(25:36):
run your business for sure in place to take some
of that stuff off your hands. I agree, I agree.
I'm with you when you have medicine. Chrisy gonna get
you together. Michel can get you together. Serena can get
you together. I'm so bad with with like training and
stuff though, because think about your day. You don't y'all

(26:02):
at me. I'm doing it me you a man. So
I'm gonna be on your phone now now five in
the morning, you go stretch. Can I tell you a
quick story that you probably won't believe. I don't know
if you're Are you spiritual? I'm very spiritual? Okay. So
a lady I won't say who she is. She called

(26:23):
me on Facebook and I didn't answer. I probably could have,
but you know, she's a sweet lady. You know. I
just was like, I'll call her back, and she text me.
She's like, hey, you need to call me right away.
So I'm like, what did I do? Who did leaked
the nudes? You know, like what's going on? So I
called her back and she's like right now. She told

(26:45):
me her story really quickly. Right now, I'm going through this.
This and that, and you know, I'm in recovery or
she had some kind of surgery, she had some kind
of health issues, and she said, you have been on
my mind for days. She said. I know you don't
know me, she said, but God put it on my
heart to call you and tell you that you need
to slow down and you need to take a break

(27:06):
and everything will be there when you get back. She said,
God told me to tell you that. And she's like,
tell whoever's asking you something, no, tell them no. And
I mean, like now before your body shuts down. She
told me that this is a lady that don't know me.
And when was this I should have been stopped. This

(27:30):
was a couple maybe two months ago. And she checks
in with me sometimes I'm actually gonna check in with her.
But I just have to tell you that because like spiritually,
I was like, oh my God, like God is trying
to like tell me something. So yeah, please do it
because heart attacks come and rhythms come. Yeah, people don't

(27:50):
wake up. Yeah, you think about your families. You think
about your family, right, right, because if I'm not here,
then who's gonna do it? And then he's gonna do it?
And then what you're leaving them. You prepare right now? Hello? No, okayn, no,
where that's at. Yes, I just have to tell you
that because maybe it'll help somebody. It will help somebody

(28:10):
to help you help me. Do you gotta be sharing
nothing that you ain't? Then I'm sorry. That was like
confirmation I need to do. I'm taking off this weekend.
Go for you. Do you like swimming? Look, I like
kicking my water, kicking feet in the water and like
put your airs and go get in the hotel. Yeah,
I'm gonna I'm taking off this weekend. I'm gonna make

(28:31):
sure you did promise. Thank you, swear. I'm big on that. Okay,
I'm on you. I'm on you. I promise. Okay. Yes,
you were supposed to be on me two weeks ago.
I know. I'm just okay. Sunday I needed that bad.
It was like we all did. Right. Even that is

(28:54):
good because you're not worried about nothing. That's like I
let my hair down. Yeah, I felt so good. But
I felt so good. The weather was cool, like yeah
they did. They said the vibes were there. It was
grown folks. Folks, Why do you think so many women,
especially mothers and entrepreneurs feel pressure to consistently push beyond

(29:18):
their limits. H I think that social media thing is
really big right now where you're looking at all this
like perfection, and I don't think our brains can really
like process what's real and what's not, or we don't
see like what's behind it, right, Just like I take

(29:41):
a picture. My living room is nowadaycare. But when I
take a picture, I'm scooping stuff, you know what I mean.
I'm like pushing toys to the side, you know, just
to get like that little box of a perfect picture, right.
And sometimes I'll leave something in there just to be
funny and be like, y'all excuse this my mom, and
you know, but for the most part, I don't want

(30:02):
people to see that I have a mess around me,
and I think that's like what's going on and it's
so hard, Like you're like, I want that, I want
that relationship. I want not only do I want that,
but I want people to see it. You know, it's
so funny that it's true and it's so unfortunate that
if you did have all those toys in that space

(30:24):
and took that picture, oh my god, it's viral. People
talking about you but because you took a perfect picture,
nobody wants to talk about the good news. And I
have to shout out again with the family and friends
because that was that's still going on the momentum that
they put down. So that's very dope that that good
news is traveling like that. Yeah. And also to say,
I used to be one of those people that seen

(30:46):
beautiful marriages, right, even have friends that has beautiful marriages,
and I just be like, oh my god, I want
that I want. But as I got older and you know,
more to understanding and learning things like that, I don't
want what you have because I don't know what it
took you to get there, Hella, So I changed my
views on things. I do not want nothing that you got.

(31:07):
What you got is beautiful, yes, but I don't want it. Yeah,
because that's actually because I feel like anybody that's in
a happy space, it took a mess to get there.
That's just what it is. And I do believe that
love hurts, but at which cost? Though, don't be dumb
and in love. You know what I'm saying. You can
have your blinders on a love it you know, things
ain't happen. And he learned this listener. She likes. Her
limit is not your limit exactly. You know what I'm saying.

(31:30):
What she could take, you don't have to take it.
What grandma could take you know, from Grandpa is not
what you may be built like exactly. And I also
learned that having a change in morals and views are
okay because how you were brought up. You're brought up
for people that's not in today's world, meaning that they

(31:50):
were going nineteen forty nineteen six. You know what I'm saying.
That's they understand it life, so they bring it to you.
So I feel like, you know as you learn who
you are. And a lot of people do not know
who they are. A lot of people die not knowing
who they are because they don't take out the time
to learn themselves. If you don't know yourself, you can't
teach another person how to treat you. So I think
that is very important. So it's okay for used and

(32:11):
values to change. I agree. I think they should change.
It changes with you as a person, with the times.
With you know what I mean, You have to change.
If you're not changing, you're not evolving. You know for sure,
you're not growing. And I think are scared of growing,
because growing I put up a status today like being
uncomfortable growing, unlearning, learning, taking, accountability, responsibility, all that you

(32:36):
have to face yourself in the mirror, right, You got
to be truthful to yourself because you're a bad person
if you yourself right, So it shifts layers off of
you know that, and it makes you grow up. And
so that hurts, but it's very necessary to do that.
Like a snake shit, it's it's hurt. Yeah, it hurts.
I wonder does it hurt when the snake sheds its skin?
Because it hurts us, then we got a crime and

(33:00):
be like right, Google, Okay, oh my gosh, okay, have
you ever struggled? We're feeling guilty for resisting or setting

(33:23):
boundaries and how did you work through that? All the time,
I have a very like tug Award type relationship with
my father. Cool guy, but he has a lot of
illnesses and stuff and and he's also very you know, connect.

(33:44):
I'm his baby girl, So I do a lot, you know,
along with my brother. He helps a lot too, but
I'm his point of contact. Right, So when I need
to shut down, I I feel so bad that I
have to say Dad, give me a moment, or not answer,

(34:07):
you know, because if I don't answer, what if that's
the time or what if you know? Then it took
my mom to say, like, you're not God, what you're
gonna do? What are you going to do? Because if
you could do it, or if you can fix it,
fix it right now, put your finger and fix it,
you know, change him, heal them, if you can do
it right, so you can stop it, do it now,
you know, And I'm like, oh shoot, Like so that

(34:29):
kind of helped me to be like, Okay, when you
need a moment, you need a moment where you have
to tune out. You gotta tune out because this is
hard waking up hearing what's wrong with the person before
you even think about what you got to do with today.
Just hearing that in your ear all the time is
like very like heavy. So when I need that moment,

(34:51):
it feels so just like oh man, like this is
time I could be spending with him, or this is
he really needs me right now or something, but it's
like you need you to or your kid need you
or whatever. So yeah, oh my gosh, like your story
is so similar, right, yes, like not to touch too
much on it. But my mother is transitioning and she

(35:16):
didn't raise me, and I'm the baby. And to make
a long story short, it's been so nasty dealing with fam.
I'm gonna say family because I'm around now. And so
because I'm around now, or was around when I got
the call, they like, well why are you here? You know,

(35:37):
questioning and things of that nature, because my mama didn't
raise me. Now, I didn't have a choice if she
raised me or not, you know what I'm saying. But
I am here, and I didn't know that it was
gonna affect me the way that it did because she
didn't raise me, but because she carried me, we still
share something, right, and we're very similar. So when I

(35:58):
was allowed and did take care of her in the hospital,
when I had that chance before they got to doing
crazy things, I appreciated that so now and she loved it,
and she asked for me and all of the things. Right,
But now is that a point where they closed me
all the way out? So I don't know. I won't
know if she passed, and if I do know, it'd

(36:21):
be too late. But I had already said my goodbyes,
she had said what she needed to say to me,
and I told her, like I never hated you were good,
Like just because you produce a baby doesn't mean you're
made to be a mother mother. And I'm totally okay
with that. You know what I'm saying. I grew up
and I'm fine. I'm saying I don't have any mother

(36:42):
of bed, any issues or anything like that, you know.
So I was telling her that and she said that
she was sorry, but I wasn't looking for that. She
needed to say that. So I'm so happy that she
spoke those words. Till a couple of years ago I
have visited her. It was on my heart to like
tell her, like I don't hate you. I don't call
me whenever you you don't want to because I don't

(37:04):
have a connection her. It was kind of hard, but
to say that, to say, like when that time do come,
I'm literally I feel like I'm okay because how things
are going, and I have no choice but to be
okay because it will stress me. Your freak out, you
know what I'm saying. So I get what you're saying,
and you do need to take care of you, because

(37:27):
when you don't take care of you, it comes out
in ways that you are trying to care. It still
shows us frustration, right, for sure, you definitely need to
do for sure. For sure, I'm glad you got those
moments with her. Thank you. Yeah, I'm glad you've made
peace and all of that. That's important. Yeah, people don't understand,
Like people see me on Facebook and they just think

(37:49):
that it's just this perfect thing and it's just like
you have no idea. I'm a very private person, but
I post a lot, so most people probably don't think that.
But it's just like they know you like they think
they know me. Yeah, same person here, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay,
you didn't say how you how did you work through

(38:09):
with them with the guilt, with the guilt, just it's
all it's all a process. So I can't say I'm
completely over because I still have those feelings. But I'm
still able to like kind of push away when I
need to and just be okay with saying or requesting
that time, you know, like, you know, even if it's

(38:32):
just simply you know, hey, I do this in the morning.
I like to pray and you know, spend time with
my baby. Let's try to talk after ten or something
like that. You know, so I try to like set
those boundaries. I'm getting better and better. It's like a
working process. Well, as long as you start it, yeah,
for sure, before we go to the next progress, I

(38:53):
like my guests to read the comments that's on the screen. Okay, okay, hey,
kN oh hi, Hi, Hi, thank you Hi, she said.
I okay, thank you, she said, y'all look good. Oh okay,

(39:13):
I see it up here too. I got these big
old lasts and I can't see right. Thank you. I'm sorry. Okay.
I cried on my way to work after I dropped
my kids off at school for the first day. It
was a completely new school and one of my babies
was going to middle school. Oh, everything is going to
be perfect. I promise, they're growing. We all had to

(39:36):
do it. We all went to school. That's how I
keep telling myself. I'm really talking to me. I'm talking
to you, girl, but I'm talking to me. We all
had to do it, and it's just for the best.
So thank you for tuning in. My lovely She supported
me so well. Doctor Garola, please change your name on
your profile or you. What was the other one's song? Oh?

(40:06):
Just okay her, Yes, it is absolutely I can literally
feel it. So we want to move on to balancing
motherhood marriagure entrepreneurship. How do you particularly juggle the roles
of being a wife, a mother, and a business woman
without losing yourself in the process. I have a really

(40:32):
good like friend circle. My cousin Roe is my best
best friend. She's my real cousin, but she's my best
best friend. So we have a lot of memories that
we can like talk about, a lot of inside jokes,
a lot of like you know things. But I have
a lot of these like little pockets of friend groups,

(40:53):
you know, like that I can like just tones in it.
We have a thin but I can just like go
to them when I need to, they come to me.
We just have like these like cute refreshing moments. Just
like just just hanging out with seventeen hundred on Sunday

(41:14):
was refreshing, you know, like a rese So that reminds
me of who I am, Like I'm a mom, but
I still like created a tent that was like based
off of an erotic movie to show you know what
I mean. I mean, I didn't do it on my own,
but you know what, I was a part of that
and that's like who I am. My mom used to

(41:35):
own the lingerie store, so it was called Razle Me
Dawns when we right across the street from Piece of Shuttle,
so we're right literally right in the middle of all
the like funky stuff. So I grew up seeing everything
and my mom is this quiet, meek person, but she's
non judgmental in all these things. And that's a part
of who I am. So when I do things like that,

(41:58):
you know, just seeing a girl like I'm sitting here
eating ribs with a girl with a throng long you
know what I'm saying, Like, that's me, you know. So
I couldn't do that with my kids, you know what.
I could with my husband, but not like with my
kids around. So, but like that's a part of who
I am. So doing little things like that just like
keeps me who I am. Yeah, for sure, that's so dope.

(42:22):
A lot of people don't know who they are outside
of being a mom wife. Yeah, it's hard to keep
it super dope. I try. I try. I'm very intentional.
I'm the one who pulls everybody together, So I'm the
person in the group chat that's like, okay, y'all I
know we've been throwing these dates out here, but we
need to stick to this, you know what I'm saying.
I'm that person like, hey, we're doing this, or we're

(42:45):
meeting here, or even if I can't, I'm like pulling.
Like me and my friend Dolly, she's always busy. I'm
always busy. We're going to the movies Tuesday. You ready,
I got the ticket, you know what I'm saying. So
I get this chance to spend a little time with her,
go to you know, a thing with another friend, go
to the gun range with other friends. You know, we
kind of just I'm the one who pulls it together,

(43:06):
which can be exhausting. It can be exhausted. I would
love for someone to put in the same effort. But
I love that they're receptive to it too, And I
get my role. That is so dope. A lot of
things you say. And I literally just went through or
have went through shots to my cousin Keith. She was
we we haven't seen each other in a while, and

(43:28):
that's my favorite cousin. And we went to the movies
yesterday because she just booked sick, like right away, I
was supposed to be at like I picked up an
extra ship, so I was supposed to be at work.
I was like, I told my schedule, like, don't put
me on, don't put Yeah, we ain't vibed in a minute,
and normally she didn't want to throw you into at
her house, like she is great at that. And we

(43:49):
haven't set up and watched anything lately, so it was
a dope time. Then Freaky was it Freaky Friday? Friday?
Freaky whatever? It was? Oh, the new one I saw? Okay,
I saw the commercials of that Freaking Friday. They just
made it seem like old people were so disgusted, like what,
But it was so funny. See, I want to go
see that. Now, go see it. It's funny. Gotta watch

(44:09):
the one first one over right? Yeah, okay. I used
to watch the original like with the lady from what
is it Joe Joe and I don't know, but it
was original man, like the seventies. Yeah I'm bad with
them too, but it was like the original from the
seventies or eighties or whatever. I used to watch that one,

(44:29):
So that is so dope. And then JJ too, my
good friend JJ. He was like he texted me or
he called and I texted one, what's going on? He
was like me, Me, that's such and such. I love it.
And I haven't seen him in a while either. So
like my friends and people I love and care about,
they starting to make time, you know. And it was
it was quick, but the moments was great. Yes, so

(44:55):
day and I was I was good on time. Yeah,
said okay, let me go up here real quick. And
then I met my cousin. Yeah, it was. It was dope.
I love that for you. I get those at the
moments sometimes too. Yeah. And I'm not a last manic person.
So the fact that it worked like that, Yeah, I
used to be used. I could like playing ticket the

(45:18):
same day, ridiculousness. Yeah crazy, I couldn't. Yeah, we're gonna
move on to invisible illness and connections. For those living
with loopers or any other invisible illness, overworking can be
extremely dangerous. What advice do you have for women or

(45:41):
men who are battling health challenges but still wants to
pursue their dreams. Oh that's a good one. I think
we are in this like over exposing type of like
we have to tell everybody what we're going through type

(46:01):
of thing. And I don't know how important that is,
like for you or anyone else. But I think if
we kind of get back to like I just said no,
or I just cannot or I'm just not feeling it
today versus no, I just started a new medication and
don't got me feeling right, or this is happening or

(46:21):
that happened. You know. I feel like everyone has so
much access to everybody else, right, we know each other's
families and kids and all this stuff from pictures and
we've been following each other all this time, right, But
if people can just get back to that, like I'm unavailable,
you know, whether it's because you don't feel good or

(46:43):
whatever it is, without having to like expose what's going on.
And when I say exposed, it's not like I'm saying
hide it. It's just you shouldn't have to write so people. Yeah,
it's like, why can't you work an extra shift? You know?
Why can't you You look fine? You don't look like
anything's wrong. You're here now, you know. But that's just

(47:04):
we have to get back to just respecting people's time
in what they say, you know, because sometimes my family
is like, ain't no sleep? What you're sleeping? For? A
millionaire what are you doing? Like why are you so tired?
You know what's going on? And sometimes you just tire mentally. Yeah,

(47:25):
that's strange. I mean, ever since I've been having blood
high blood pressure, I've been having these crazy headaches that
kind of just like sit you down and it's hard
to like explain, like I got a headache. We'll take
a time of all, come on, get back to it.
You know, what do you do if someone call and
my family calls you at like eight nine o'clock in
the morning and you sound sleep, It's like, oh you sleeping,

(47:46):
Oh okay, let's be nice, you know that kind of thing.
So so I have like this internal thing of I
gotta go, you gotta get up. I gotta make it happen.
I gotta you know, So that's like danger, you know
what I'm saying. It really is like the not sleeping
and just being up and aware and all this stuff.

(48:07):
So I think it's like just setting those boundaries without
having to. I don't have to tell you what's going
on with me for me to just not feel like
doing it or not being available for whatever reason. So
that's dope. Yeah, that is so dope. Like I you
when I was younger and I got diagnosed with I

(48:29):
didn't know nothing about it. I didn't know nothing about
it nobody, so I didn't want to tell people what
I had. And I was very popular when I was younger,
so I'll go in my and I'm lie. You know
what I mean, I'm a lie why I went places.
But as I got older, I'm not the type of
person that's really boisterous about what I need from the

(48:51):
people that surround me. So I started this thing when
I believe in my mother. I thought about my mother.
There was like a journal entry and I just started
doing it on Facebook and I never did anything like
that before. But I'm just like, I don't I know
I need something. I don't know what I need. I
don't know how to tell people what it is that

(49:12):
I need from them. But I know I'm messed up
in this moment right now. But I'm an autopilot because
I'm still doing all the things that I need to do.
But I know I'm messed up. So I would do
these journal entries on Facebook, and to me, it was liberating.
It was so many people that my friends on Facebook
that made time for me off of day time, and
they was very authentic with it, you know what I'm saying.

(49:32):
And still to this day, they're gonna have a piece
of my heart because it's like you didn't have to
so to know that, not only as you following me
and we're friends and you like and stuff, you volunteered
your time for me and that means everything. So I
appreciate them. So for me at this age in my life,
it was like I will text my people like I

(49:53):
will text him, I'll text others, and I erase the
whole thing because it's like I don't know how to
put that into words. I just know I'm kind of
messed up. Yeah. Yeah, so some things I will and
some things I won't. It helped me, like get it out,
get it out, yeah, because I was being in silent,
wasn't it wasn't working. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
I just feel like builds up. It's like heavy, Yeah,

(50:16):
you're feeling in your body and that's the worst thing
to actually do. So I didn't want any flare up.
And then too, like being on all the people that
say like why are you sleeping? You have to take
a step back, rest your mind and come back with
a sharper eye so you can know you want to
change the direction that you want, you want to continue,
you want to like what it is that you're doing. Yeah,

(50:37):
because you studies. Just you could be working all day
and not doing nothing and people don't understand that. Yeah,
it's so hard to explain to people. I try to
start doing this Monday thing on Instagram because I get
a lot of interactional on Instagram. So I'm trying to
do like this Monday thing where I show people what
I do. And I'm like, I'm gonna show people how

(50:59):
I make money, and then I didn't do anything with
like spend money. Like at the end, I'm like, I'm
twenty seven hundred dollars in home right now. You know. So,
like sharing that was like helpful, but it also helped
me to like show like you do a lot and
don't do nothing. Like you're literally running around doing stuff
and then the kids school call or you're you know

(51:21):
what I'm saying, It's like, oh my god, You're doing
so much. But then when someone calls it's like, hey,
where are you doing, It's like, oh, nothing, but I'm
really on my way to Brookfield to the floor in
the coorse store. You know what I'm saying by flooring
or something, you know, so it's like you're not doing
anything they think, but you're kind of holding it together.
So it's kind of cool in a show sometimes. But yeah,

(51:43):
so that is funny doing a lot, not doing nothing,
not doing nothing, I would. I'm in a space now
where I do so much. I'm like, it's something gonna
get done, Like when is it done? Like I've never done,
Like everything is just on going. You have a time
on a bone, yeah, me for me to make sure

(52:05):
I touch all my projects time, right, So when a
timer goes off, I don't no matter where I'm at,
I'm finishing at not finishing it up. I'm just finished
righting myself right or whatever. Yeah, and I'm moving on
to the next project. It helped me to be organized
to touch everything and don't let nothing far by the wayside.
I kind of do that with my days, like I'm

(52:25):
kind of like this business, this business, this business on
each day kind of thing. Even though things spill over
when you're in the people business, it spills over. You know,
anything can happen at any time. So but I kind
of do that, but not like to the minute you're
to the minute. Yeah, I have to be Yeah, i'd

(52:47):
be like, dang, I ain't check my emails. Yeah it is,
but it's okay, you do. You only can do what
you can do, what you could do. That's the system
I came. Well, literally in your time, you need to
make time for yourself. Should should Yeah, just to take
a minute to breathe, because even when I sit down
in the bed to relax, I'm thinking, like I have

(53:09):
started to leave my laptop in the living room or
kitchen or whatever, so that I because when I kept
it in my night then I would always find a
reason to pull it out. And I have literally ordered
like signage and stuff in the middle of the night
at three o'clock in the morning, and it been wrong
and I approved it because you wasn't woke, because I
wasn't wont because I wasn't when I was like sleep,

(53:29):
order and stuff five hundred dollars order? Like what am
I doing? Like this is ridiculous, Like you're your joke me,
I gotta ask you something. So because you are saying
like you are so so busy, right, uh huh? Do
your husband have a problem with that? Do you feel
like you give him enough time? We don't have enough
time for each other right now. We are in grim

(53:49):
old work mode. We do not and it's very difficult.
We are in a difficult season. We're in the I
said this before, we're in the The text messages look like,
don't forget the milk? Did you call him? What's the number?
Send it to me? Did you forget? Where are you? Okay?
Pick up? Those are with instead of Hey, what you

(54:10):
doing baby? You know we're not in that season, and
I know it's a season. I know it's a season.
I know it is a We're just we're in a
space now that I mean, you know it's a lot
to it, but we're in a space and I know
it's a season, and I know we can get through

(54:31):
it because I'm gonna make sure we do. That was
gonna be my next question. Yeah, my last relationship. I
was like that, you know, in a way, and because
I used to be like we got anything plan? He say, no, Okay,
I'm making sure the kid is good. I'm working, Like

(54:51):
if everything is good, I am going to work. And
it was like probably a year passed by, like didn't
want to talk, probably a year past by calling me.
We are in the morning. Well I'm on the shift
saying like when are you going to have as the
time for me? And I'm just like I did not
because for me it was like yes, And for me

(55:13):
it was just like why ask you if you had
anything planned? But I guess I could have been more
like I would like to do something, let's do you
know or something like that, and for me it was like, okay,
we could have go on a trip. I'm about to
do X, Y and Z. And it was just like
attitude like at a two, like when you come at
home when we're gonna have some intimacy time and I'm like, well,

(55:36):
I thought you was like right now, I got an
attitude because it's like you should have been said something
like you know what I mean. So it didn't go well.
So that's why I kind of like asked you. But
then I kind of scaled back and just made the
time like I wasn't. You know, money is not everything
really is not like more money more problems. So yeah,

(55:57):
problem is I mean do I but I don't know?
That's the first thing I do. I know where it
is and it's the love is holding it together. But
I know it's a season that's what was keeping me going?
I know, we don't we are here and here, but
we're headed in the same direction. Okay, yeah, we definitely.

(56:22):
Yeah that happened to you just got to refocus. But
we well, that happens. He that happens too. I've been
there too, I get it. Yeah, But what misconception do
you think people have about women who look fine on
the outside but are struggling internally with illnesses or burnout.

(56:45):
I think we all experience a little burnout just that
perfect that perfect image, that perfect relationship, that aesthetic.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
You know.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
I think that is harder to deal with than any
I think people that are like really transparent kind of
like what the girl is name, she's kind of she
can be kind of nasty. E Kaine, Right, she's like
the opposite of aesthetic. Right, she takes her wig off
and she's a pretty girl. Beautiful girl, you know what

(57:17):
I'm talking about, right, beautiful girl. Think she's pregnant right now,
beautiful girl. But she's judged for that. People are like
talking about her for just being like kind of gross.
But then on the other hand, you have these people
who have this image that they have to keep up with.
I mean, maybe E Kane has to keep up with
being nasty because it does get her pay, right, but

(57:38):
it does. But then you have like this I don't know,
Operation Nikki, who's super clean and super just like aesthetic
and everything is really pretty. And now I even see
her being like getting all this luxury stuff now, and
it's almost like once you start doing that, you have
to keep up with it. And I think that can
even be like a struggle in itself, being up with yourself.

(58:02):
Like people think, oh, you're in competition, you're doing this
for somebody else. It's like, dude, I'm just trying to
get a bigger bag than I had last year, and
that's what's killing me, not you exactly. I feel like
people shouldn't people gonna talk, you're up down whatever, So
I feel like people need to be it's a mindset

(58:23):
outside noise shouldn't dictate what you do. Move. And it's
funny that you say it's a process of keeping it
with yourself because one of my engagements, I was a
stay at home for two years? Oh wow, did you
like it? The first couple of months was dope shopping.

(58:44):
He shouldn't have to come home to nothing every day
needs to be done, and I didn't like it. Like,
who ever stay at home moms had to talk to
you guys, I didn't do it. So I took away
my identity. I felt like, no, stay at home is
just not for me. Yeah, I got tired of shopping.
I got tired of getting my nails. It was just like,
I'm losing interest in the things that I used to

(59:06):
like to do. So and even my last relationship, I'm
I was always at the mall. I'm talking about if
you said we was going here here, and there are
four different places out of my last seven outfits. Yeah,
I'm talking about from the shoes to the panties, to
the bras to the jery new brand new, brand spanking new, exhausting, exhausting,
not gonna even lie to you, exhausted. And so after

(59:31):
my last relationship, everything got strict from me, Like I'm
talking about strict cars, how everything stript The only thing
I ended up with was my clothes and my Jerry,
and it was driving me nuts, Like you know what
I'm Sayingody, what did I do to get here? But
then at the point of my life where I'm like,
maybe he is taking everything away from me because I've

(59:52):
created this with him right, and but everything was being
took in, but so much was being given to me,
and I wasn't looking at the things and the doors
that was opening up for me. So I gotten this
point now to where I was being very rebellious with myself,
not doing the things that I normally used to do,
like I wouldn't never leave the house without making up

(01:00:13):
my bed. And I started being rebellious because I'm like,
everything was tooking like I don't like, yeah, yeah, I
know who I'm mad at, but I'm mad mad. So
I started being rebellious, not doing the Savannah thing. And
then I've seen this Facebook posts treat the things that
you have even though it's not what it is that

(01:00:34):
you want right now, as if you would for the
things that you had. And when I tell you that
it's with me back into shape, I said, let me
get back, get back on my stuff. So just to
say what you were saying to that, like it is
very exhausting, it is. It is. It's exhausting keeping up
with you know, people say keeping up with the Joneses, No,
keeping up with your meal? Yes, yes, a lot, Yeah,

(01:00:56):
for sure, it's a lot. And I and I literally
just heads off to those who have this you know,
perfection thing going on, because I know that pressure. Not
that I've ever had that kind of image, but just
this just the pressure different, you know, different levels all that. Yeah,

(01:01:18):
before we go into the next category, shout out to
Wayneman Prince. He just joined us. Hey, thank you so much,
appreciate you. We're going to go into particularly strategy and wisdom.
Mm hmm, right with boundaries, with boundaries or habits have

(01:01:41):
changed your life the most? Ooh, with boundaries and habits
have changed your life the most. So the first thing
pops up in my head. I've always been not necessarily
like fashion forward, but just as a plus sized woman,
I've been always been very confident with my body. And

(01:02:04):
you look good, thank you you too. But I just
wear whatever I felt like wearing. You know, when I
went to Disney a few months ago, I think back
in May, I dressed up like winning the Pool because
it was cute. I was like, I love yeah, but
I'm like, I want my little winning to pool elly y'all.
You know, so I do things like that. But bringing

(01:02:25):
back to friends and family, we cut up our shirts.
We had pink shirts in honor of row and we
cut them up. And the young lady who cut them
for us. Uh, she she's always like she's like home, right,
so she's always got her boobs. I'll be like, girl,
want your boobs in my and my wiffles, you know.
But she's she she couldn't help it if she wanted to.

(01:02:48):
But whatever, she's very sexy. So I told her, don't
cut my shirt up too much, you know. And it
was almost like at first, like that would try to
play trick on me because I'm thinking, like, loo could
wear what you want to wear. You're you. You know,
you're still you at the end of the day. But
I had to like think about like still respecting and

(01:03:09):
honoring my husband even though you know, you can't hide this. Yeah,
I can't hide it, you know, but I still have
to have like, like there's a line, you know what
I'm saying, there's a line, and I've never had that line.
And maybe if he was there, I wouldn't have the
line because he's not. He don't give a you know
what I mean. He made like he has said stuff

(01:03:31):
like you know, like one time I had some shorts
on it and I really didn't know they were that short.
But when I started walking, they were Jeene shorts, so
they started going up and I was like, oh, this
is very uncomfortable. You know. So he's mentioned stuff like that,
but he's not like, don't wear that type of person.
But I still want to always honor and respect him, right,
this is like the simplest form of that. But that's

(01:03:52):
like a boundary that I have. Now I'm not, you know,
like in honor of me, just like a wife, like
I have that boundary of I'm not doing certain things.
I'm not sitting in certain rooms. I'm not and not
just for him, but just me, just me as a person.
You know what I'm saying, What is this like? What
we think of? How would he feel about it? That

(01:04:14):
kind of thing. Totally understanding and people that mess with
you shall understand that. For sure. I haven't gotten much
pushback just because, like I said, my circroles are pretty tight. Yeah,
and I think people will understand it. Like some people may,
you know, be like girl, please like you know, but
I'm not wearing a long dress. You know that. I
still I'm still gonna be me, you know, but just

(01:04:36):
like those things, because what are you doing it for?
We're showing it to. We're showing it to you know.
For me, that's that kind of thing. It's like a
church business where it's just a dress call. Yeah exactly
exactly like yeah, I still want to turn ahead or two.
But I don't want a body to think they can,
you know, grope me or nothing like that. You know,

(01:04:57):
I don't know, No, it does. People that dressed like that.
People conversations with some people with kids and the way
they he is dressed, Like, you can't get mad at
the boy. You need to be talking to your daughter.
Why is she just like yeah, like let's cover up
with not to even you know, touch so much on this.

(01:05:18):
But I have one or two okay, with one son
and one daughter, and girls do a lot of enticing
things right, and I just feel like they should be
held accountable to certain things that we do because boys,
you know, can get the wrong, I can get the wrong,
or the girl can be too friendly and the boy
can get in trouble. You know what I'm saying. It

(01:05:39):
shouldn't work on short one side. So I'm an advocate
for both because I got a daughter and a son.
You have to be on both sides. Now we're we're
don't get in twisted. We're still teaching our sons keep
your hands to yourself. Yes, I mean yes, no, mean no, yes, yes,
and then when a yes turned into no, it's no

(01:05:59):
completely you know, whether it's touching or whatever. So we're teaching.
I was saying, I get it, I totally get it,
but it's still like respect yourself. Freaking exactly. I used
to tell my son at a very young age, don't
touch nothing unless you you are invited, right, check, get
a signature, you need it. Nowadays, I agree, I totally

(01:06:22):
agree that that conversation is deep, but that was a
boundary for me, like just the you know, presenting myself
in a certain way. You're not wrong, Yeah, kudos to you.
Go ahead, go ahead face. How do you personally practice

(01:06:44):
self care and what does it look like for you
as a busy on a busy day. On the busy
I don't have any self care. I just was talking
about my chipped the toenails. I went to friends family
with that chip toe. Now too, I'm like, they know me,
they know me. Nobody nobody looked at my toe. Literally,

(01:07:10):
they probably made it worse that powhole. But self care
for me, like I said, I like to get massages
and things, but truly, my friendships re just like rejuvenate me.
I feel so good when I can steal those little
moments the girl meet me a cheesecake factory and I
have a sagree. You know what I'm saying, like sheep,

(01:07:30):
quick and easy. That is so dopey because when you
got the I made a post about that today too,
when you got a good friend circle. Yeah, it's just liberating.
It is. It's very liberating because sometimes you don't even
need to talk, you just need the energy, the sitting
there silent. Yeah, I get. What advice would you give

(01:07:51):
to another woman who is feeling like she has to
choose between her dreams and her help? Oh, dreams in
her Oh I can. I can speak to myself a
little bit now. I would say, choose wisely, because chasing

(01:08:12):
something that you won't be here to see is pointless.
Say it again, chasing something that you will not be
here to see, it's pointless. That just crosses everything out.
So choose wisely. Yeah, take my own advice. As I'm

(01:08:33):
sitting here on my back, crouched over, I forget you
before we close out for today, I do want to
let everyone knows that you offer Causeille carry classes once
a month and cbr F classes that is currently two

(01:08:56):
hundred dollars into the end of the year. Yes, so
it's say once a month. So for cassel carrying, did
they did it just pass this month or cantil? Yeah,
so I've had it for August already. We did July August,
so all those are gone. So we won't have one

(01:09:16):
in September because I'm just focusing on the kids in
my day program, so we're not doing that. But I
will have one in October and moving forward. If you
see me promoting something Conceal and Carry, it's a partnership
that I'm doing with someone else. But as far as
my classes go, we won't have any Canal Conceal Carrie

(01:09:38):
for September. Cbr F is always running. Our classes are
full up until October, so that works out. But I'm
shaking things up two hundred dollars. You can't find it
for two hundred dollars anywhere else in the city. You show, Okay,
I want to know how very upset like or what

(01:10:00):
are you doing giving back to the community. I'm trying.
I'm trying really hard. So my website is live in
Color m k E dot org, so you can find
me there the vibe curator dot com as well, but
the links are all on live in Color m k
E dot org. Beautiful website. Thank you. So you're gonna

(01:10:23):
have a beautiful sexy instructor shoe and the laws of
it and you want to post some money in your podcast.
It is not a bad thing to have. Yeah, I
feel like if you have the time, you know, it
takes literally like four days to get these certifications and
they can get you in the door to anywhere for
a side gig or you know, changing career or whatever.

(01:10:46):
Just having that is helpful for sure, Like especially when
you know, uh, these companies are closing and people off,
you will have that to make you some money, right
because it is always need in health care before you
get back to where you be. So that's definitely something
to happen during COVID with me just having group homes
and stuff. During COVID, it was very hard like staffing

(01:11:09):
because people would get sick and things like that. But
we never didn't get paid, We never got shut down.
They literally begged us to make sure we're taking people
and keeping this whole world running because we're in healthcare.
So health care never freaking stop, never stops. Besides beautiful
classes that you have going on to you got anything
else coming up? And where can they find you? Drop

(01:11:30):
your tags? All right? So on Facebook, I am at
V Taylor Tate. I do have a subscription on there.
We do really cool things. You get all kinds of
free stuff. You can get cupons for the classes. I'm
actually in octold her I'm trying to come up with
the date where we're going to do like a meet
and greet dinner style, you guys are invited. Of course,

(01:11:53):
you gotta have a special thing if I come. Oh okay, yeah,
it'll be a slash birthday thing for you to So yeah,
I'm gonna come up with the day for that and
I'll be advertising. But subscribing to my page is only
twelve dollars for the whole year, but it's it's worth

(01:12:13):
so much more. You get the books, you get the cupines,
you get all the stuff, so it's worth it. What's
tom drop that link because I'm gonna describe after this
twelve dollars, I mean, yeah on Facebook, okay, yeah, it's
our pace, but you subscribe to my junk food. Yeah,
I say that all the time. That's why I tell
all my friends. I'm like, why are you guys not subscribing?

(01:12:33):
We spoke to you every day. Click the link and
stop playing with me for sure, So y'all make sure
y'all subscribe, whether y'all want the information or not. Support
twelve dollars. I mean, were making twelve dollars in our sleek.
Come on, so go support this beautiful queen and close
the remarks. If you could leave the listeners with one
piece of wisdom about balance, boundaries and self care, what

(01:12:55):
would it be? Oh? Okay, you have to put yourself first,
you know, after God? Right, sure, after God, you know
God will lead you in the right direction. But keeping
yourself first actually just helps the whole ship to sail. Right.

(01:13:17):
So taking care of yourself, I'm telling myself this as
I'm speaking, But taking care of yourself, you have to
do it for you first, right. You gotta hold yourself
up so that you can be the best you for
your family, your friends, your business and all of the things.
So we dropping a mic. I don't even have anything
to say after that. That is perfectly said. Thank you

(01:13:37):
so much, beautiful for coming on to Lucas podcast. I
want to invite you back. Okay, so I cannot wait.
Please keep me updated on the things that you have
going on so I can share it in or tam say.
And thank you guys for always tuning in to support
Lucas has on Face podcast. If you missed it, please
go to Lucas has on Face podcast on YouTube and
while you're there, make sure you like subscribe. I mean

(01:14:00):
we could respond back until next time.