Unmasked: Thriving with Autoimmune

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mumhm mm hm m h.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
R asweeded.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Your street up.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
M m.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
M m.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
M m mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Hello you guys, Thank you for tuning in to another
wonderful episode of Lupe's has Slow Faced podcast where we
talk about real life, real problems and.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Why did I just get breakfall? Listen? Out of our careters?
What are these days like I breakfall?

Speaker 1 (01:39):
So many things have happened since I'm on my way
to the studio is insay.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
I'm gonna tell you all about it in a minute.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
But beyond Lupis and beyond I'm your host, Savannah Birth
and we have our lovely guests.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Michael d is in the building today all away from
the A. How you doing. I'm good, queen, And.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
I tell you my much is going right now. Today
is going right now. I'm still trying to calm down.
My toe is thriving, but we're here. We're here, so
we're getting a job done. So all that being said,
thank you, So listen. She don't I've told her before,
I'm gonna tell you again. You make me so nervous,
Like every time I'm in your friend, I'll be nervous,

(02:21):
and I don't know why. It's like you bring like
the little kid out of me. But I don't care.
I'm not ashamed to say I don't care why you
look up to somebody you and somebody I still look
up to to this day. I love everything that you're doing.
I love everything that you did. I love the things
that I was blessed to be a part of and
the things that I wasn't able to be a part of.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
You know, I'm like, what.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Like, I'm like, no, I gotta stand on your neck.
But that's a little bit, you know that I have
to give, y'all, But you are my girlfriend real like.
I love you a whole bunch. And oh you still
just make me nurse. I don't know if that was
brainfall or just my nerves. I'm gonna have to keep
it real. Thank you so much. I don't take that lightly,
you know what I mean. I appreciate that. I really do.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
So I don't know which Onune it was, y'all, but
we're gonna get to it. So we got Michel all
the way from the A. I literally just text her
and asked her when she can be on the show,
and she hit me right back. So the star is
literally aligned and she was in the in the city today,
so I had to bump one of my other guests
to a different date just to get my girl because

(03:27):
I've been trying to get her for a minute. So
you know, time has a line. I was like, I
was like, you know what, put me on.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
The map, queen. I got you.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
I was getting all the information. I was like, well,
you know, we're gonna have to reschedule you because she's
coming all the way from the A and I've been
trying to get her. So yes, and shout out to
your team, baby, because they had that turned around on
Flyers this that. I was like, okay, they better, Yeah,
thank you, thank you, shout out to Tom, thank you,

(04:00):
Depth Radio in the Building, TDR podcast.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
He does treat me very very well.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yes, them turn around, them turnarounds, don't be turned around.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
And like that.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
I was like, ooh, especially with somebody of your caliber,
we had it. Not that I lack on anything that
I do, but I didn't have time to pub you
at all. I normally start pubbing on Sundays, so only
how not.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Even twenty four hours to publish.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
So it was like quick, yes, mister Tom, Oh my god, yeah, yeah,
because no flyers in the promo, I was like, yeah,
this is very elite style like and I appreciate that.

(04:47):
That's how I like to be represented, you know, and
I love seeing my people grow. But it's like, yeah,
this is what it is. This is how our flyers
supposed to look. It was amazing. I didn't have any
complaints And normally I'll be sending things back y'all shout
out to my hobby like that's the market at Guru.
So I find little but that I'm like, oh, this
is flawless. Let's get to it.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Let's go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
That makes me happy. That makes me so happy because
we are is one. So thank you so much, Tonge.
Keep doing what you're doing behind the scenes matters, So
we gonna jump right into it. So MS Michael, can
you tell us about your journey? What inspired you to
become a therapist and create Boss fly Girls. Yes, my journey,

(05:30):
my journey. I'm still journal journeying, you know. But what
made me just start what wanted to become a therapist
is one mental health rown big in my family. I
didn't really understand it, you know, I didn't understand it
at all. I just knew some people in my family
were a little different. I remember a few of my
cousins I looked up to, like I used to watch

(05:51):
them get their makeup done, do their own makeup and
used to be like, oh, I can't wait talking where
they healed, and just seeing them transition because they was
diagnosed later with the fronty of so seeing them transition
to someone that used to be models and videos and
all of that and then transition to be as teens
at that time, it is just seeing them talking to

(06:11):
theirself in the middle of the street.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
Because a lot of my cousins at the.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Same time start transitioning their minds and start like having
diagnoses of some type of mental health diagnoses. I didn't
really understand it. And I also remember growing up when
my aunts used to have skis the friends, so she
used to talk to herself a lot, and I remember
my mom telling me like this runs in the family,
trying to educate me. But back then they used to

(06:35):
call it demons, so they used to try to cast
out the demons and my at and stuff like that,
or pray over her. And when I started being a
mentor and really understanding mental health on a deeper level,
when my youth wor was like some of their care
coordinators would suggest that they was taking medication and the
parents really didn't understand it, like, no, we ain't giving

(06:58):
them no medication. Depression all depressed, we from the hood,
everybody depressed and not understanding that there's a difference between
being depressed and being like severe depression. You know, it
was just beat her ass if she didn't want to
go to school.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
And I really understand it, and I.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Get it, I get it, but not really understanding her
brain literally would not allow her to. So I say
all that to say, I'm like, you know what, I
need to understand this on a deeper level. Being a
mentor was not just enough for me. I wanted to
really understand the brain and how that works, like what
made you do the things you do? And I went
to school and when I went to school, I went

(07:36):
back to school.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
And I always tell the story.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
I'll never forget the teacher writing different scenarios on the board,
and we were supposed to say if they was high
stressors or traumatic events for an example, have you ever
heard a gunshot when you were in your room? I'm like,
stressor have you ever like so much stuff with stressor
and when she revealed the answers, I'm like, my life
is traumatic, Like all this stuff was normal, It's so normalized.

(08:03):
And that's when I knew, like, no, I need to
be a therapist because I need to speak my people
language so they can understand that we're living in a
war zone that we don't.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
Even know, like looking at statistics.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
And when I got really deep in it and understanding
the things in the inner city of Milwaukee that's normalized
to us. It's worse than somebody who visited Iraq, and
we just normalized it. So that's what made me first
become a therapist. But what made me get serious in
therapy is when I have my own therapist and I
saw how it was really helping me think different in

(08:35):
my mindset was changing, and I'm like, oh no, I
got all my people got to know about this. So
it made me really get heavy in it. And then
I answer, there are a second question about boss fly
girls being a therapist, So now boom, I'm a therapist.
I'm doing my thing being a therapist. I didn't realize
how much women men too, but women specifically these was

(08:57):
boss women's boss women. I would say yeah, and I'm
like you you don't even know who you are.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
You don't know who you are, and it's some blockage.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
So that's what made me like, I want to do
a movement with Boss fly Girls where I can really
help women understand what got them stuck, Like you don't
have to pretend to be this you don't have. You
can get over imposter syndrome. You can really own who
you are. It's just this blockish that's holding us back.
How do I know?

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Because I had that blockash that I had to get through.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
So that's what made me start the movement Boss Fly Girls,
because I know there's nothing like women when they ignite
their power.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
And if we do that together, maybe the world can't
do nothing with else.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
I was just gonna say to go back to that
like it had to. You had to shed it all
off you in order to even create that movement because
you think it and you just like oh, because people
will look at you and be like, she's such a boss,
but not even knowing you dealt with your own quote
unquote demons and you overcame that and now you're reaching

(09:57):
back out for that absolutely, And if I'm being one
hundred funky, I still fight demons. You have to fight demons.
What I'm doing is I'm not trying to because we're
taught in society that no one suffers. Everybody got their
life together. You're supposed to have this by age X,
Y and Z. And that did something to me mentally.
So when I went through my own therapy and when

(10:17):
I went to really tappen to God and really understand,
like what is about what this world is all about,
and I really start getting connected, I realized how much
society trick us, like really trick us to make us
think this and this all so in that I was
okay with looking at my demons and I still I
learned to dance with them instead of running away from them.

(10:38):
So I want to be transparent for those who watching,
you never heal, you just you can heal through some things,
but you're you never arrived, you never's never not a
fight anymore. So for me, you are absolutely correct. I
have to start transforming myself. I know now, especially after
doing Ted Talk, the of tense training they take you through,

(11:00):
I had to become everything I was saying. And I
didn't know when I first wrote my speech that I
was fin to go through this. So much, but now
I get it. Only the transform can transform. I don't
have to speak confidence now, although people from Afar will
look like, oh she is. But now when you're in
a room with me, you just feel it even if
I open my mouth, because of me going through the transformation,

(11:22):
like you said, she sheddy. So now when I speak
to a young lady, I can speak from a different
power because now I know what you've been through because
I've been through it.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
But I also got through it.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
So let me hold your head, let me meet you
where you are so you don't feel ashamed on those
things society say we can't say out loud. Let me
say on first, all out so you can know it's okay,
so you can not suffer Jesus. Yeah, I feel like
we need a whole episode like different break Yeah, because
you touch it on so many different things. That was
just the first question that even ask she we are

(11:53):
stopped second in thing now seriously, Like I'm gonna just
touch a little bit on it and I'm gonna move along.
I don't want to. But when you say the norm,
it's crazy how people no? Okay, So I'm gonna want
you say people never heal right, So for me, answer

(12:13):
me if I'm wrong or whatever. I feel like people
choose not to heal if they keep reliving the same thing, right,
I feel like they're not doing the work they choose
and not to break through and do the homework to
get through it. Now, I do understand to your point
of view when you say it never be heal, because
it's always gonna be something that you're going through and
if it affects you and hurts you or break you down,

(12:35):
you gotta get over that and you gotta heal from that.
So I do get that. Am I receiving that the
proper way.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
You're receiving it?

Speaker 1 (12:40):
But let's be clear, I'm not saying like no one
ever heals. You can heal from something. But when I
say people never heal, I'm saying you never arrive. Sometimes
we're fighting this fight of becoming our ultimate self, and
we think, oh, I'm gonna become my autimate self.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
No, you're your awesomate stuff.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Now you just need to massage her and be a
better version of her and walk into her. Because if
you're waiting for this arrival moment where you're healed all
together and you have become and became you're lying to yourself.
It's always evolving because I can be healed from one thing,
but now I opened up a new vessel when I'm

(13:17):
getting closer to you. So you might do something that
I thought I was healed from that used to trigger
me from my old best friend in high school, and
I'm like, and now I'm acting funny or we're to you,
but I'm thinking I'm healed. No, you be put in
different situations that would trigger certain things. So can people
heal from situations? Absolutely? I think about it like this.
I'm an EMDR expert, right, So that is a form

(13:38):
of us a tool that we utilize when you're a
trauma expert or you're working on the brain and things
like that. If you're a therapist, that's one of the
tools the lens we look at the world from. So
everything that we do is called your therapeutic orientation.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
So that's mine. That's like, how do you view therapy?

Speaker 1 (13:56):
It's EMDR What EMDR says, You're not the thing that
happened to you, it's how your brain processed. So let
me take you back to the thing that happened and
help you reprocess it. For an example, if you have
an absent father, and who wasn't in your life an
absent father. You may have told yourself that no one
loves me, I'm not good enough. Can you heal that

(14:18):
part of you?

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (14:19):
If we go back and we say your father being
absent had nothing to do with you, and I trained
you on that and he just wasn't shit.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
They ain't got nothing to do with you. Now, does
it hurt still? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (14:29):
But you won't now try to go after people to
get that love because you will understand that it's self love,
not from somebody else.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
You know, so you can.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Help that part, But it might be somebody else that
you go over and beyond for that's a different type
of trigger. So that's why I say you never fully
healed because things trigger us.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
It's just being aware.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
That's my goal as your therapist to make you aware
and provide you with tools so when you are attacked
with it, you now.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Know what to do.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
I love how you broke it down because that's exactly
what I was getting at with it, because so many
people be like, well I went through this, and they
pause a life for so long or forever and never
do exactly what it is that they want to do
because they always go back to who hurt them and
what they went through. And so you broke it down
exactly how I need it, for you to break it down,
for the people to receive it to actually move on.
So I think you've heard that, thank you for asking.

(15:19):
When you hear the word unmasked, what comes to your mind? Personally,
when I hear the word unmasked, what comes to.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
My mind is being the real you, being the real.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
You, unapologetically authentically, and being in a situation where you
are okay with being vulnerable.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
And that's what I mean.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
And sometimes when I say unmasked, a lot of people
think that wearing a mask is something bad.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Wearing a mask is not bad.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
That's our brain's primary job is to protect us, so
sometimes we need to wear a mask. However, when you
wear a mask so long and you mistake your personality
for that mask, or you forget to take the mask off,
that's where the problem happens. So when I say unmask
to me, that's giving yourself permission just to be you,

(16:14):
so you can now understand that you are enough. That
mass is just was supposed to protect you. It wasn't
supposed to become you. So when I say unmasked, I'm
saying baby, unmasked. It's okay to be you. That's what
I mean when I say unmasked. So is it fair
to say when people take off the mask? And for
those that do not understand what a mask is when

(16:34):
they say fake, how does that go about? I think
that wearing a mask is not necessarily don't mean you're
fake when I say masks. Masks are things that our
brain developed for us. For an example, some of us
wear a mask of survival. Growing up in inner City

(16:55):
five three two o six, I had to wear a mask.
I'm a sweetheart.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
I'm nice.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
However, being nice in the inner city it's gonna come
with some consequences.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
If you're too nice, you know.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
But I have to word it's tough masks, and I
have to do what I have to do. When I
had to do it, that wasn't being me being fake.
That's what my brain developed for it to protect me.
I'm every bit of Mickey as well, though I just
created the mask. I'm not being fake. That's the part
of who I am as well. Fake to me is
just something different. Fake to me is when you are

(17:27):
being something you're not. You know, I believe that the
mask are things that we internally developed for protection.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
I don't think that it is being fake.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Thank you for that, because I feel like people, we
have different parts of us and that still makes up
who we are as a whole. Fake is something totally
different outside of that. We are not who we are
five years ago, but that's a part of us that
made it, part of our character, our growth process, our personality,
all of that. Yeah, to me, fake is when we

(17:58):
think about fake and then we think about maths. To me,
in my opinion, this is not my therapist had on this,
not an expert. Okay, my opinion, my professional opinion, not
fact based. Is when you're being fake, you are aware
of who you are and you don't like something about
you so much that you have to pretend to be

(18:19):
something that you are not. A lot of the times
people wear masks because they are afraid to be to
sit with theirselves, like it's trauma or our brain want
to protect it, so it's.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Something you feel you have to do.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
To me, when people and it's a thin line, but
to me, when I when I say someone is fake,
it's it got to do with like lies, and you're
presenting an entire different image than what you're not.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
A mask is a part of you.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
You're just putting on that mask for protection, Whereas when
you're fake, where's the protection. You're being fake because society
told you that you're supposed to be this and that
to be considered successful in this, so you're lying about
it so you can fit in that fake. Being fake
is being in a role where, say, for an example,
say of me and you beefing and tone invited me,

(19:07):
I might put on the mask like, hey, how you doing.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Being fake is being in your face telling you I'm
gonna invite you here, I'm gonna do that.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
That's that's where you draw the line.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Okay, So that's the difference to me between being fake
and then when it comes to mass I love how
you broke that down. So we're gonna move on to mindset.
As one of your favorite things that talk about, you
often talk about how everything begins on mindset. Why is
cultivating the right mindset so crucial for people living with
auto conditions or not. Everything starts with the mind. Everything

(19:41):
starts with the mind. Your mind tells you when to eat,
Your mind tells you when to sleep. Your mind tells
you what to think. Your mind tells you to put
one foot before the other foot so you can walk.
Your mind, the way you perceive the world is all
in your mind. So it starts with the mindset a
lot of the times, because you know, I'm a transformation
coach and I started off as a business coach, and

(20:02):
some people.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
Will be like, well, what's the difference?

Speaker 1 (20:04):
Because I realized as a business coach, I can give
people the tools, but if your mind is not there,
you're not going to be receptive to any of it.
It starts with the mind. The mine is the engine.
Can you start a car without an engine? No, you know,
unless you got a test on something like the regular cards.
You know, it's so fancy now that with the regular
cars you can't start without an engine. So why do

(20:24):
people think that you can start anything without protecting or
understanding the engine inside of your body. You can't start anything.
You can't start a car without an engine, So why
do you believe you can start all these other things
without making sure you can crank up your mindset. So
with individuals who may be exposed to autoimmune disease or

(20:46):
any type of mental health or any type of dilemma.
And it's I always say to mind, the mine is everything.
The mind controls everything. So for an example, if you're
saying to yourself, I got this disease, now becomes you,
and every symptom that that disease have it now becomes
you because that's what you told your mind. Your mind

(21:06):
gonna do what you tell it to do. But if
you like, that's not who I am. I am who
I am, and I'm someone who experienced this this disease
and you have it like that, then that disease won't
become you.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
It won't be your reason why you can't. You you not.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
You're gonna make your brain be a survival mode when
it's like, oh me, I have this disease. Now.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
Don't get me wrong, it is a lot dealing with it.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
You know, I've experienced some things throughout my life where
I had, you know, with space, with some just life
threatening situations. However, your mindset, because if you tell your
mind that you're better and you're gonna heal and you're
gonna do you're gonna do better, then guess what you
start behaving that way, You start acting that way, you
trick your mind, and sometimes your mind won't even remember.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
You had oh dang.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
For an example, last week, in my mind, I was
a twenty year old and I was dipping a little low.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
The next day. Why am I learn because something years out?

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Why Because before I went into that event, I was like,
I'm gonna have a good time, like I'm learning not
but then the next day. So it's that's why I'm
so important with mine, because I learned that on my own.
It does start with the mindset. If you tell yourself
you don't have it or you can't do it, you
block yourself for even thinking about the possibilities of the world.
For sure, I can speak a little bit on that,

(22:25):
like just I'm gonna speed it all the way up
to when I when I met you, I used to well,
I still do the hard work now, but before that,
I was doing the hard work, and I was I
got played a lot when it came to business because
going into what it trust, I feel like for my
moto is I gotta trust you before anything. I don't
want to learn to trust you because then I will

(22:46):
never trust you because you want to always do something
to make me feel uneasy. That's just human nature. For me,
So I trust you until you do something for me
not to trust you. So I got played when it
comes came to business a lot. And so now I'm
just like, pay you to do it, you know what
I mean, I'll pay you to do it. But when
I ran into you, you like, no, I like doing that.
You got time to be so frustrating with you. I

(23:09):
just like why you just can't do it? Like I
can't you just do this for me? Like but she
wasn't having it. But you also taught me something very
very important because within that year I was went through something.
I went through a lot too, having somebody run my
business to the point where they knew my business more
than I knew my business.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
And when.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
That person was deleted, I didn't know anything. So it's
like I didn't even know my business. All I did
was show up and present and I'm like, dang, So
I get it now and I thank you for that.
But so it does all start with the mindset. Now
I can just spit it out with ease, with my
eyes clos Before it was I had somebody else doing

(23:52):
it for me. And it's like, now, you know, when
you reach the point of having money, some things I
was still like to hold close to me because when
you run your own business, and when you know your business,
how you know your business, nobody can mess you over
because you can always overlook everything that somebody else's is doing. Yes,
so yeah, I love you said that because it was

(24:14):
so funny.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
It used to be. I'm like, I don't care.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
So the reason why I was doing that because I
could have took your money and did it. But then
that's not the type of coach I am. I understand.
I gotta higher purpose. I'm gonna teach you how to
do it. And I used to be like, you either
gonna pay me this or I can teach you, and
then you're be like, h okay, but look what happened though,
Now you can run your business, because what service if
I get hit by a bus or something tomorrow and

(24:39):
now you don't know how to do anything.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
I get my reward. I believe in good karma deat
for real, for real.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
A lot of things I do for people, I get
paid in the back end from God. So I'm like, no,
it's bigger than money for me. If that was the case,
I go sign a contract with these others. It's always
been bigger than money.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
For me.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
It's you, seeing you transformed, seeing this setup, seeing the
flyer saying I'm smiling like she get it, She get it?
Because if we pay everybody to me, that's fraud. Like,
how are we gonna speak on the mission? And that's
what it is, glow. How am I gonna speak on glow?
But I pay everybody to do everything for Glow and
I'm just speaking on statistics. No, put me in front

(25:19):
of the camera, ask me anything about youth statistics.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
What's going on? What's this? I'm gonna know it because
that's my heartbeat.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
So if it's your heartbeat, you gotta always stay connected
to the business. Now, I don't do all the things
I used to do because you gotta grow. You know,
you gotta grow, and you can't focus too much in
the business and not work on the business, so sometimes
you gotta. However, I'm still over checking once a week
with this person that person because that show her. You
gotta always stay connected otherwise somebody will be able to

(25:45):
snatch it away. And I don't want to do that
to you. I wanted you to know the value of you.
You are someone who is the face of this not
because you're just a face. Not because God gave it
to you only, No, it's because you also experienced it.
You're gonna be able to say things and present it
in a whole different lens than somebody else. So that's
why I used to be like, no, Savana, you're gonna

(26:07):
have to do this. You're gonna have to all right,
I'm gonna start it now. You pick is it a
B or C. I ain't doing that part.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
I just get off that bout you, just like, oh,
she gets on the glass.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
But then I tell y'all, sometimes you're gonna love me
and sometimes I'm gonna get on your nerves because I
know it. But I respect you so much for that
because it turned me up in a whole other way.
Like I be like, can't nobody tell me about my business?
Can't nobody speak on nothing? Even though my team is dope.
They don't run, they don't do nothing unless they run
a pass. And I love that space now, but I

(26:37):
got you to think that for it, and then you also,
I'm getting.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
A little bit off top of y'all, but I'll be
back give me a second.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
I love being connected with you because you have introduced
me to some real authentic women. When I say real
authentic women, they are true to themselves. They are hard workers,
they don't get key, they are just the energy is there.
You know what I'm saying. It's unmasked, so it's for me.

(27:05):
It's like words can't really describe it. You have to
be in the setting so to be to have somebody
literally like you how they say you know one person
making and they bring it up you literally actually is
doing that. And I've been knowing it seemed like I've
been knowing you forever, but I've been knowing you for
such a small amount of time.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
But you have.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
Grown like razy, I'm talking about crazy crazy.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
I'm like, whoa you know?

Speaker 1 (27:28):
And you never left your team behind and you are
always watching how you say. Your word has always been
your word and with that alone, like it's just hats
off to that. So I appreciate that for real, like
I appreciate it. I appreciate that you saying that because
I even remember, like in the beginning when I was
first because you was like one of my first core
horse of coaching where I'm like, okay, I'm really about

(27:50):
to and I just remember telling y'all like take notes
from me, cause it's gonna be a time if y'all
ain't here, then you're not gonna have this access like
you used to. I'm not gonna be like like I
am right now. I'm not gonna be that. Watch me grow,
because this is how you're gonna have to grow. You're
gonna have to have a team people. You're gonna have
to separate the access people have to you, because one

(28:11):
thing I did learn is when you take your super
cape off, everybody can't receive that the same. What do
I mean by that? I have some people I let
go because I let them in too close and they
saw cause I am very transparent, especially after doing the tell,
I have no choice but to be more authentic and
vulnerable and say I'm not okay when I'm not okay,

(28:32):
and not be embarrassed about life.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
It's life, right. But some people I.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
Allow in prematurely, and when they saw a version of
me who wasn't this boss what I am on social media,
they kind of start stop respecting me in the sense
of I'm still not her, I'm still her. I'm just
sad today and I'm not in a good move today,
and they mistaken that, so they you have to be
mindful of who you allowed to see what your cape

(28:58):
off because some people will get you fucked up and
then you got a show them real quick. So for me, sure,
it's just it's that balance. It's really that balance. So
for you to say that, I love it because you
have also respected the growth, like, okay, I respect where
you are now.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
You know what I'm saying, because you got some people
be like who she thinks she is not.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
I mean, I'm at a point I don't care no more,
but I used to didn't be like that, but you have.
You've always respected where I am now and where my
journey is now and how I got Like I don't
like to do it, but I gotta stick to this,
like this was the deadline.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
I can't be texting everybody like come on, y'all have
two more. I ain't doing that.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
I'm gonna put it out there, first come, first served,
So thank you and return. This is what I'm saying
for respecting my growth and understanding where I am now
because you do have to keep that separation and everybody
can't come with.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
You, and that is true.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
And I'm gonna say one more last thing and move
on like you had a private talk with me.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
We was out of the states.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
But because of our relationship and because of the certain
parts that I sent to you on how we are
with each other publicly, privately, every like that, I received
it without any like, you know what I mean, And
normally it don't be like that for me. So that
just told me a lot about myself too, and I

(30:13):
was okay with I was okay with that because I'm
like that in a lot of ways too, And I
want people to be okay with how I come at
them in that way and respect it and just do it,
because if you respect me, you're going to do it.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
So I should be able to come to people like
that if they love you like there's no way. And
I had to grow to be this person. But in
my circle, my girls keep it real with me. So
I'm at a point out if I can't keep it real.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
With you, no shame. Cool, But you're going over there.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
You can't come to my circle because my circle tell
me when I'm doing too much. My circle tell me
what that's not a good look. I know you want
to make comedy down, that's not a good look. We
need you to go up in there like that, like,
my mama in a minute, like some stuff happened recently
with my son and I have to call some people,
have to talk to him some years and.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
She was like, don't be mickey. Okay. I know you
don't like these people, but Mickey, don't be Mickey. Okay.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
So the whole time I'm on the phone with this
person and they ears I don't even want to talk
to them. But my mama was in my head like,
then say something, I'd be like, don't be mickey.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
So you need those people, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
And if you true to who you are and you
really authentic and you really want to boss up and
be whoever you're supposed to be able to receive that,
if you can't, you got some healing to do. Nope,
y'all in tom be your mom in my head. You
be your mom in my head. Like it's y'all have
said plenty times like oh, it's not just be like

(31:45):
and it's not easy and it's just raw, like I'll
be wanting to talk me be like you're good, You're
gonna be good.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Okay, I'm gonna talk to you there.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
I'm yes, let me let you sit in that Okay,
I'm gonna talk to you in a minute, right and
I'm gonna let you later.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
But I love you for that though I love I
love all my people.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
That's been authentic for that because I like to be
who I am, and I always say like I should
not have to pretend like if I'm peed right now,
that's what I am. If I've said I need to
have a talk with you, that's what we need to
have a talk. Don't avoid me, like that's just what
it is.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
So it is. See, you got me going because.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
I remember, like my lawyer, I had told her, I said,
look because she used to see a therapist, Michel d
And it was a case that I'm in with my
assessment with the kids, and I just snapped and she
was like, I'm not used to I said, you need
to get used to her, because if you're gonna be
my lawyer, I need you know all sides of me.

(32:44):
And then you let me stay at how I feel it,
and then we're gonna you're gonna tell me how it
needs to go in this courtroom, and we're gonna do that,
and then we're gonna get through.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
We gotta get through. But I'm not finna pretend no more.
I am me. This is something that's hard for me.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
This we're talking about my kids and somebody who potentially
is on spectrum for something.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
I won't say it and throw it out, but this
is what we're dealing with.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
And y'all talking about my kids and you think I'm
gonna still be therapist Michel d No, I'm not. Y'all
got me effed up, and this judge got me effed
up if they ain't saying through this. And I need
a lawyer that know how to say and lawyer talk
that y'all got my girl fed up.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
That's reality.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
Oh my god, I need you back. I need you
back here on the show because, oh my god. Okay,
so listen, I was in public. Matter of fact, I was.

Speaker 2 (33:35):
I was.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
I was at an r and my sibling, older sibling
and a niece was there, and my mom was there
and I don't talk to you know, and I was
going there to figure out what was going on.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
She wait, Now, we got everybody there.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
People come up to me nowadays that know who I
am off of everything that I'm doing, So I don't
know who knew me in there.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
I god, I went in there. Haven't talked to her
in years.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Hi sat down, just she sit up here and say,
you know, well, you said you couldn't have No. My
niece asked me, do you think my Grandma'm gonna be okay?
Which is my mom? And I said, well, I don't
know her care plan of action. I haven't seen it.
And then that was right for the other person to
jump in, all right, because you don't have access to nothing,

(34:26):
all right, because you said we bant you. I'm like
you did. So she called the facility. Oh, it's such
and such. What she say, it's my name? Did she
try to get any information? Can you give her any information? No,
we cannot give her any message m saying you did that.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
But no, she didn't stop there. I want to last time,
how you been up there? So it just turned into
something very loud, very hinged, you know, cameras everywhere, and
it was just like I couldn't take it no more
so that Savannah professional side. No, oh, the other side
of me came out because you're playing in my face
right now, and I couldn't take it no more. So.

(35:05):
I totally understand that, and my nieces like I can't
believe you did that. What your mom is about to
hit me? So I was just sit there and let
her hit me, Like no, no, but everybody's on my
cotel like you're not supposed to be acting like that, says, oh,
you know.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
What I mean.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
So I totally get where you're coming from. But people
need to understand. And I was so hard on myself
after that, but it went in my favor after, you know,
the law enforcements and all that stuff got involved. They
seek that she was antagonizing me. So you know, I
say that to say, like, just because people are professional
does not mean they don't got the other side.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
You can it ain't that.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
To weep more mindful because when you're a light and
you have a calling on your because I used to
be like all professional, be professional. You can take my
therapist license, you can take the name glow, you can
take all of that. At the end of the day,
I still serve God, I'm still a lighting. You cannot
have that. So I stopped saying, oh, I can't be
professional and start focusing on me as a like God

(36:06):
qualified me. Y'all said I was not qualified. God qualified me.
So that is the person I gotta speak to. That's
the person I understand the things. However, when those triggering
situations happen, then I reflect like why did this bother
me when he said that? Why did I really feel away?
And once you realize that and you get to that room,

(36:26):
now they can't even do it because there is power
in not responding when somebody do it, not because you
gotta just be like ooh, you better.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Not but really not caring, really getting to that point.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
But in order for us to do that, we first
have to say, hmm, what really is the reason why
I snapped out like that?

Speaker 2 (36:43):
Was it because she was coming to me?

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Because she could have came to you in a way
when you was in a great mood, you had your
emotional regulation top tier, you just got out of therapy session.
We could have came to you that same way, and
you want to respond it that way. So sometimes stuff
be a little deeper. But it's what you said the.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
I can't believe you.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
I need you to believe that I would, So don't
try me next week, okay, because I could, because I'm
still me, it would say of me, Yeah, and I was,
And I did that because I was over the situation.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
But it was her standing up for me. So now
you're standing up So now, yeah, your threat.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Our brain primary to protect us, and my brain said
she's about to hit you, protect yourself. Let's stop doing that.
We gotta stop doing that to us quote unquote professional people.
I am human at the end of the day. Period
strip all of that. At the end of the day.
My name is Michael. You understand what I'm saying. So
if you think you're gonna stand up over me a
girl who came from the inner city of Milwaukee, especially now,

(37:39):
y'all think you might have been able to get away
with that a few years ago. But now, because I
know who I am and I said I wish you
would stand over me, you shouldn't have stood over me.
And I'm gonna go with that. I'm not gonna be thinking, oh, therapist,
no thread, That's what it is. And sometimes we don't
got to think about it. Our brain automatically is going
to respond because that's what our brain's supposed to do.
So don't stay Yeah, and that was that. Yes, what

(38:06):
mental blocks or limited beliefs do you see most often
in clients who are struggling to thrive for chronic illnesses?
They don't deserve it. They don't deserve it. I see
that in my therapy clients. I see that in my
business coaches, my business clients, colleagues, myself. Before I have

(38:27):
to heal through that, they don't believe they deserve it.
That's why they're not owning it the way they're supposed to.
That's why they don't step in rooms the way they're
supposed to. That's why it's a facade on Instagram or
social media period like that. But when they go home,
they don't believe it because they don't believe they deserve it.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
And that's what the type of coach I am.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
Now, yes, I'm a licensed therapist, but I want to
operate a transformational coach more now, Why because I want
to help you transform your mind so you know you
deserve that lifestyle that you're going after.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
If you don't believe you deserve it, then it's an afterthought.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
When you know you deserve that thing, when you know
you deserve it, when you know in your heart that
you deserve it, and you make up your mind, no
one can stop you. Now I can coach you the
way I need to coach you. If I can't get
through that that blockage of you believing that you deserve it,
there's nothing. You're wasting your time. I get to the
point now where it's like, here's your money. I'm not

(39:20):
the coach for you because I'm a different person. I
don't coach how I used to coach. That version of
me did coach that way, and I was supposed to
when I was supposed to. However, this version of me
is I'm not your therapist. I'm your transformational coach. And
I don't mind saying you're gonna get some therapy because
that's in me.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
I just love the brand and that.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
However, if it's deeper and I gotta convince you that
you supposed to do your business, I'm not the coach
for you. I need the people who know that that's
their business. But they just need to get the blockage
to be removed, like they got to understand how to
reprocess some things. And then But if you sol trauma
like bound it and you stuck on that and you

(40:01):
don't even think you deserve it at all, there's nothing
to business. You're resting your money. So anybody out there
who have a business coach or a business mentor or
that you're paying or anything like that.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
If you don't believe you deserve it, I would say pause.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
And either if your coach is not a therapist or
a lifestyle type of coach or more like the transformational
coach that can help you get over barriers, you're worsting
your money. You're gonna play it any therapy first, or
a person who can speak from a therapeutic lens. There
are some like my big sister Janine, shout out to
my girl. She's not a licensed therapist, but she's psychology

(40:45):
and she some people get it natural right, and she
is a licensed coach, a life coach. She has the
tools to help you with blockage, so you don't have
to necessarily go to therapy. Just have someone who got
the understanding of brain and blockages and all of that.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
Then you in the right lead. But if you're paying
someone who is this that, do this, do that? You
ast your money. How do I know?

Speaker 1 (41:07):
I'm not saying it from a therapist less, I'm sending
it because I wasted thousands of dollars because I wasn't ready,
because I didn't believe that I deserved it.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
I didn't believe that it was mine. It looked a cute.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
I thought I wanted it, but I didn't believe that
I deserved it. So I wasted thousands and thousands of
dollars after coaches and coach until I found out I
do deserve this. And I got tent to think for
that because I didn't really know. That's why you see
a different coach, because it's like, I deserve it. I
don't care what Milwaukee say. I know I deserve it.
I know the work I put in, I know my

(41:38):
mentors I be around. I deserve it. I believe that now.
So now that's not a lot of people know Less brown.
I'm not afraid to sit it with Less. I was
kicking that with Less at his house now before I
was like, oh my gosh, Less because I didn't believe
I deserved it.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
No, I deserve to be here. I know what God
is doing in my life.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
You know, you remind me on a lot of different
ways up to try only because there's not a lot
of black and brown people telling their story as after
they become successful, and you you ain't just like oh,
yeah I did that and moving on. You like yeah
and yeah and yeah, you know what I'm saying. And

(42:17):
still we want to go see you at the tail.
I didn't know that you didn't think that you deserved
that at the till top. What how you showed up
like effortlessly because by then I knew I deserved it.
But when I first tigned up for TEL, I just
was checking something off my check box, Like I had
a dream to do ted talk one day, So I
put that out in the universe and shout out to.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
My girl Tashima.

Speaker 1 (42:41):
She has part she don't even remember sending me this
lady link like and I'm like, I never forget like
part of the passage to get to where you are.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
And I'm like, yeah, you send me the link. She
didn't have to hold my hand. Did you do it?

Speaker 1 (42:54):
No?

Speaker 2 (42:54):
When she said that, I just did it.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Why because I'm like, okay, God, I did just say this,
Like boom, here you go.

Speaker 2 (43:01):
Working nine to what was that nine months?

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Nine to ten months every single week and on top
of every single week having to meet with your coach,
your face. That's gonna break some things out of you.
Like I'm going through that. I was going through so much.
My son almost like was left for dead. I got
into a situation my oldest daughter was in college, then
left college.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
My kids dad.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
I told y'all with my boss lie girls very transparent
with that, doing petty stuff like wanting me to go
to jail. I'm dealing with all this stuff. It forced
me to be vulnerable. I grew up in the house
my mama, Like, what goes on in my house stays
in my house. I am a private person. People see
me on social media, you don't know me. I'm private
like that. All of those situations and being vulnerable and

(43:46):
happened to open up and really happened to become what
my speech was about, removing the mask.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
That's why I now know I deserve it.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
So when you like I didn't see, that's why because
what you saw was the aftermath, not the nine months
of crying. Plus Natty knows literally because I couldn't even
believe that I was telling people what was going on
in my life. But that's why I'm able to show up.
Like you mentioned, Taraji, shout out to my girl. I'm
gonna talk to her.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
One day too.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
But because it taught me to not run from your story.
You are, Your story is a part of your journey.
Your story's gonna say somebody live. Look how many stories
we read in the Bible, and we commend them and
we look up to them as heroes. But then I'm
supposed to dim my life because I've been through something. No, girl,
you got me all over here, just like to society,

(44:33):
be lying Savannah. Society make us feel so shameful for
going through that. Do you know how many women reached
out to me after seeing myself? You know how many
colleges show my ted talk for classes and all of that.
And that was because I am what I was. I
thought I had to wear a mask present you know
what I'm saying, Like, I thought I had to wear
this mask and sound professional and all that. And when

(44:54):
right before I was for the go ond he was
like these people they running off stet Baby, you go
have to just be you, Just be you. Don't try
to get it, be you. And I was able just
to really show as me. So I received that when
you say like you thank you because it took some work.
It took the work, girl, Man, people don't need you want. Okay,

(45:14):
So we're gonna pall when I paused for a second,
but always time my guests read some of the comments
that's on the screen.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
So you want to read some of the comments that's
on the screen.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
Girl forgot we was on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
Oh yeah, we are on the podcast. Of course that
name was gonna pop out right away.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
And she just was saying, like, such an amazing experience,
amazing journey.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
We're getting our brain.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
It's a robot and we control it absolutely absolutely, yes, yes,
And she just.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
Shared that with her first class last Friday. I'm so,
I'm so proud of you. I could not get that. Seeole,
y'all be so last minute. I need things.

Speaker 1 (45:56):
I just booked my calendar up to November. I'll be
needing things I had time. That's not how y'all worked.
Milwaukee sometimes be on.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
The fly, like and I'm know you weren't talk like
your mama, where's last minute?

Speaker 1 (46:11):
But when you get to a certain you'd be like,
okay in advance, like somebody just asked for me to
do something in February, I'm like, oh no, I'm already.
It's like the more your book, the more you're like,
oh dang, I didn't I should have, but I couldn't
starry girls.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
So that's what it is. But shout out to her, congratulations,
that's my girl.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
To Shima, me and her met at one of my
downest moments where we both was speakers. I was the
keynote speaker. Baby, I showed up with rollers, cryings not
in my nose because I wasn't gonna come because I
was down. But I didn't realize that was the beginning
of God saying show up as you are. You're not perfect,
and it's okay. Me getting there is how it started.

(46:49):
But halfway through my speech, Baby, I was back to
who I am, you know, and so many people was
able to connect to me because I was vulnerable literally rollers.
I told them to get off their phones. I said,
go to Michael D dot com and they went. I said,
that's what y'all thought was gonna show up today, ain't it.
But I'm showing up as me. I just went through
some with this. I just did this. I just whatever.

(47:11):
I wasn't gonna come, but God said just get there.
So sometimes it looks like this. So shout out to
my girl, Sashima. I always just am so proud of
her when I see her. And our brain is our
robot and we control it like for real, we literally
control think about it. Where we are now, every you are,
where you are now based off a decision you made.

(47:32):
Everything that happened in your life, it'd be and we'd
be like, they did this, what about you get.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
For sure it's a decision.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
I've made things that got presented people that I around,
But I did the work. At the end of the day,
I go with home in my own bed, and I
had to choose to continue to do the work.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
And sometimes we don't know.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
So then we got to show ourselves grace because the
type of niggas I used to can I cut, Can
I be real or is this I don't know? Okay,
because we don't, but go ahead. The type of dudes
I used to talk to when I was younger, I
wouldn't dare talk to now. But I gotta show myself
grace because at that time I used to be in
love and we made a baby because I was in

(48:12):
love with that type of dude. And then I can't
cry because he had dead beat You made that decision.
I can cry, But when are we gonna take some
type of ownership? He didn't rape me. I laid down.
I was in love with that nigga. You know what
I'm saying, Like, what are we talking about?

Speaker 2 (48:25):
So again? So many times we go like this and
we don't raally go like this.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Not saying that you gotta be mad at yourself, No,
you show yourself grace. But every decision we where our
life is right now. God has choice. You made a
decision to get you right here, whether you chose to
keep staying, whether you got in that car the first time,
whether you whatever. I'm not blaming you, but I'm saying
it was your choice to do something that got you

(48:50):
right here right now. We are the controllers the brain.
Just to show for sure, I totally agree with that.
Lord jeez, Okay, how can someone begins reframing their thoughts
so they can move for from survival to truly living?

Speaker 2 (49:08):
I love that y'all can join my ABC's.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
Y'all can join my boot camp, you know, shout out,
shameless plug go to dot com.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
But what you can do yourself is pause extra self.
Where am I is it? Okay?

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Let me sow down. What you can do is extra self.
Is this a belief or is this a fact? A
lot of times we operate in life as if our
belief is a fact. For an example, if God cheated
on you right you forgave him and let's say he
right here, he know you doing your show, He get up,

(49:47):
he go in the bathroom for like twenty minutes, you
gonna swear he was on the phone with a girl.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
He might for the rest of the night have an
attitude not saying nothing to him. Is that a fact
or a belief? That's a belief that you think he
was on the phone with the girl.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
However, you operated in your energy as if it was
a fact, like you knew for a fact, because evidence
don't lie. You don't have no evidence. So I would
say to answer your question, it's just pause. When we're
having those thoughts and getting those rabbit holes and if
it's changing our energy and stuff, pause, is this a
fact or is this something I believe? Because we can
challenge beliefs. Facts are facts, and a lot of the

(50:23):
times we operate as if it was a fact. But
if you just pause for a moment and say is
this a belief or a fact and you find out
it's a belief, guess who got the power to change
that belief? Me?

Speaker 2 (50:33):
You? So that would be my question.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
I mean, my response to that is you get to
create how you think, You get to create what you
believe literally, you know, it's so funny, like as being
an adult or just growing or meeting different type of people,
people do not know how to communicate properly. Like they
can be the perfect teacher, the perfect lawyer, but people
do not know how to properly communicate, and they do

(50:58):
not know how to have uncomfortable conversations without calling it
an argument or feeling some type of way afterwards. I
don't understand that for the life of me, and I
ain't one of those people with everybody around me. If
you make me feel a way, I have to have
a conversation with you because I'm not going to be

(51:18):
a feeling the no type of way why you are jolly, No,
I need to know why this came off the way
it did. Now, if that's what you said, then fine,
But I do I'm a very intentional person and I
look and I pay attention to people behaviors and patterns,
so I'm gonna know if you're lying or not. But
at the end of the day, like I do have
those type of conversations with my day to day people,

(51:42):
and I can say some people don't like that at all,
And it's just so crazy how I don't know if
I grew to accept or like uncomforted conversations because of
my illness, I have to be so expressive so early.
I don't know if that's because that's my norm. And
it's like now that I see a lot of people
don't like to have it. They do a lot of

(52:03):
deflection and blaming and finger pointing. It's like, no, stay
on a topic that's at hand. Of course it's uncomfortable.
And again, our brain's primary job is to protect us.
So if you're having a conversation with someone who doesn't
have the capacity to receive what you're saying, they're always
gonna get triggered. So the individuals that you're having conversations,
you could start by saying something like where you at

(52:26):
check their energy, because if their energy is not there
or their capacity is not there, they're not gonna be
able to receive what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
Anyway, you can say the and the like why you
have to say it like that? And let's flip it.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
Imagine how many times somebody has approached you with something
and you like, I know she was saying it?

Speaker 2 (52:42):
Is that a belief or a fact?

Speaker 1 (52:44):
Like even when you say something to somebody and their
energy shift. You might think like, see, I knew she
took that the wrong way, But how you know that
she really just thinking about when her mama told her that,
and she really her energy shifts because she's thinking about
the time where her mama told her something that similar
to what you said, and they don't got nothing to
do with you. We would be so selfish thinking that
the world is about us. Like my son could have

(53:06):
an attitude and I'm like you ungrateful what you walking
around here with a too? That baby could be thinking
about something, a friends situation or something. Why do I
think it's about me all the time? Why do I
think that this hard conversation is because of me? That
got to do with them? But you are right, some
people can't have those Some people can't because they're used
to being around people pleasers and no one's telling them

(53:28):
and holding them accountable. You know, like that son who mom,
he ain't doing no wrong. A woman can't tell him
he's doing wrong. He grew up thinking that he can't
do no wrong. So some of those things are programmed.
We just got to be aware of that. And we
gotta also understand people capacity, because you might come to
me one day. But now I know my capacity. So
if you're calling me and I'm like, I don't have

(53:50):
the capacity for Savannah, I don't care if it's good, bad,
or anything.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
I don't want to talk to anybody. I'm in. I
gotta fill my cup up. I know that about myself.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
Whereas back in the day, if you would have called me,
if you was one of my closest people, and then
my other homegirl, I would have did it for y'all.
But I would have had an attitude the whole time
because I ain't really want to do it.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
If you would have approached me away.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
I ain't trying to hear that because now you forget
everything that's really bottled up from all this other stuff
I'm going through. You just was the icing on the cake,
so I'm about to dump on you. So I think
sometimes we take it personal, but it don't even really
be personal.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
It just be them what they going through in their minds.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
But if you find yourself having conversations and sometimes we
don't know how we come off too, But if you
find yourself having conversations with people who never can take it,
I just believe that those people are no longer in alignment.
Because you should know me and I need my people
where I am now, if you're in alignment, if I
came off wrong, I need you to tell me that
so I could be like, oh, I didn't know, I
couldn't come to.

Speaker 2 (54:45):
You like that. I'll be mineul that.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
But for you to have to say nothing, and we
back and forth and now the world know we into
it and I don't know we into it, that's something different,
very very very very What Roles does self compassion PLA
and building a healthy mindset and letting go of guilt
around rest of action for actioning for help, showing yourself grace,

(55:08):
because if we operate in guilt, we operate in fear.
It clouds our judgment. Remember I'm gonna keep saying this.
Our brain's primary job is to protect us.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
So if we're feeling down and we're bad and we're.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
Thinking this about something, that's how we're gonna look at
the world like we're not good enough.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
We're down.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
I shouldn't have did that. I'm not a good person
on this. How you're gonna operate in fullness in life?
If that's what you're telling yourself at night every single day,
you can't you can't. That's the way you see the world.
And now you don't strengthen that muscle because our brain
is the muscle. So now you don't strengthen that muscle
so much that it believes it. And that's how you
operate in life. Do you believe that whatever it is

(55:49):
that you're doing in life at that point in time,
that you have to feed your mind, body, and soul,
like you have to read it, you have to be
around it. You have to in order for to literally
truly grow how it's supposed to grow.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
The mind is a muscle.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
You can't get the six pack, you want what I
want to the gym and eating right. You can't get
healthy if you're not eating right. So the mind is
the same thing. And a lot of people because we
can't see it, so it's like out of side, out
of mind. We could see our stomach, so we're like,
oh look, even before you came, I was like, do
I gotta like so? So I say that to say

(56:26):
the mind. We can't see the mind, so we forget
about it. Now we gotta get that tool. We gotta
exercise that too. We gotta be mindful of that too.
So absolutely, every wherever you are in your life, you
have to do it otherwise unconsciously and human nature, we
think way more.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
Negative than we do positive.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
So if you're not trying to combat that, then unconsciously
your brain working anyway at night. It don't never shut
off your brain working, So now it's building the muscle
in your sleep of negativity. If you're not purposely trying
to feed it something better, think about it. How you
gonna complain about having diabetes if you go to fast
foods all the time, you eat all those like southern

(57:10):
meals and all that, and you like that's what you're
feeding it though, Like for me, diabetes running my family.
My mom got high blood pressure, my dad had diabetes,
high blood pressure. My brother rest in peace, he was murdered. However,
my brother was ill from having high blood pressure.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
So for me to think just.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Because I'm me, that I'm not gonna have my big sister, like,
why do I think that? I gotta be mindful of
that even though I can't see it. I gotta train
my brain, my body, my soul to do things preventive
work so I don't trigger that. Another example is I
know schizophrenic runs really big in my family, so that
prevented me from trying certain drugs because I didn't because

(57:52):
some of my cousins turned out like that because they
tried the wrown drugs. Some of them couldn't get over
a heartbreak. So I trained my brain that you can
get stuck something. But when I find my mind slipping,
and thank God for my support system who came and
helped me realize, because when your mind slipping slipping, you
don't know it.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
You do not know it all the time. Sometimes girl, no,
that's a whole nother episode. You don't know. So when
they was and I'm like hmm, but I was like,
I never get like that again. I'm gonna feed it.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
So when stuff happened not on strengthens the positive part
of my brain where that ain't gonna knock me out.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
It might make me staggered, but it ain't gonna knock
me out.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
That is so dupe because some people feel like that
they can just show up and perform the job, but
don't understand why their numbers not hitting or why this
is not doing this or not getting where where it
is that they need to be. Because you're not performing
at your potential that you should be at.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
You just showing up just not doing your homework on.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
Yes, that's where that mindset. Remember what you asked me
that question earlier. That's why I believe everything starts in
the mind because when when you transform your mind, or
begin to transform your mind, you think different.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
Now you got to buy in.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Now everything you're attracting is gonna be towards that thing
because you're working on it. It's you, it becomes you.
So now the universe like, all right, I got you.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
Here you go. Oh that's you. Now I got this
for you. Oh that's you.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
Now text Michelle right now and she gonna be on
your show. And you've been asking her for over a year,
you know what I mean, Like you got to become
it because now I'm looking at your stuff and I'm like, yeah,
I love to be on her show.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
You know what I'm saying. It just takes the consistency.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
That's though, because I have just a little bit over
a year and you know, I don't call them problems
or issues because they haven't bothered me. But some people
feel like I shouldn't be in a spot where I'm at,
you know, But I'm like, do they do what I do?
Like I do my homework. I have to have a
conversation before people come on my show. I have to
feel if the energy is there. I have to see

(59:49):
if I can almost make most topic works to bring
on my podcasts if the topic is there, Like I
do a lot before I actually bring somebody here. And
just sometimes it's be like, you know, if you're not
doing exactly what it is that I'm doing, Like how
can you sit here and try to say I don't
deserve that?

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
Do you believe you deserve it? For sure? Yeah? I do.
Like I do a lot. I read, you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
I follow podcasters now, I follow who I inspire to be,
like all types of stuff. And that's why you're getting guessed.
And that's why it's growing, because you know you deserve it.
You know the work you're putting out. The moment you
stop to tell everybody why you deserve it, that's time
away from you studying.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
That's time away from people. Don't think that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
People don't think I deserve to be a therapist. People
don't think I deserve to be a millionaire because I
was a team mom.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
I used to be a drug dealer. I tried dancing
before and Lord knows.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
If I'm glad I ain't no videos of us because
we had so many game fights growing up. Like I'm
so glad that social media was not popping, Okay, like
all of that. And I say that to say because
people don't. But I know when I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
That's why I actually do you believe you deserve it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
You do and I've seen it in your I feel
your It just shows like I like this is you
like I see it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
You don't even have to tell me you study because
I can just I just know. But when you have
a knowing over your life, people, that's its gonna say
that you gotta just know it. And then you're gonna
go to the point that we're not just gonna say
we don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
You gonna own you don't care. And you're never gonna
even mention it because it comes with the territory.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Yeah, and I wasn't going to mention it, but this
to show for yeah, And you know, the goal is
always for me to get picked up, you know. And
I got tom looking over things right now because two
shows reached out to me to pick up. And my
thing is for if I'm able to keep my creativity
that I have here, then yeah, but if I go,

(01:01:45):
you know, of course he's on because he helped me
with this whole situation, you know what I'm saying. But
he doesn't have me produce hype. Most people think like,
he can't get up here and talk to me. He
doesn't come up with my questions, he doesn't. He can't
make me perform the way I do on camera, you
know what I'm saying. But he does do everything on
the back end. Yeah, And I'm not saying that for
you to say like I said it, because no.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
You know, people say that, so that's I know that, dude.
But listen to what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
I'm saying people say that, but there's going to get
to a point where you don't care so much. Not
because you don't care and you're making yourself not care.
It's gonna be because you cannot deny your life. You're
gonna own it so much that you're not even gonna
be able to hear what they're saying because you're gonna
be so far on it. I'm saying from experience, like
I got to the point where I did care. That

(01:02:30):
was like my biggest thing. I always care what people
think about me, like just growing up period. That's always
been like my thing I needed to grow from. I
always knew that boom. Then I got to a point
where I'm like, I don't care no more, where I
would just say it, but I still care because we're human,
right right.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
But then when you so far in your craft and stuff,
we're human.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
You're always gonna care like this because it's your craft
and you tailor to people, so you gotta care about there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
But let's not make it inside of us.

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
Let's not make what they say become a part of
our beliefs and then question us like, well.

Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
I do this, I do that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
It's gonna get to a point where you ain't even
gotta be like, he do the behind, but I'm doing
the questions or not. But I love that you mentioning
it because you're gonna remember the transitional part to when
you with so much light that you didn't even hear
the naxt stairs anymore. I'm so far gone, I don't
even know what people say anymore. My team don't let me.
But it was a time, baby, I was strolling and

(01:03:23):
you might kise me on the good day doing it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
Number two strolling like what what? Because then they throw
you off.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
I had one white guy not saying like being pressure driver,
but he said something about the ted like he was like, oh,
another one.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
Of those what.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
Instantly my inside said what I got all these people
saying all these beautiful things with that one thing. And
that's when I check myself a stap. I work through that.
Don't let the enemy get I don't care about that
no more or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
Next.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
If we're not careful, we'll get so caught up into
that and we'll forget the beauty.

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
That's the trick of the enemy, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
Yeah, and he definitely keep me balanced because that was
the goal. I'm like, I go, you go, you know,
so that was the goal. So yeah, for sure. And
I I normally only do my show for an hour,
but because it's you, I was just like, listen, okay,

(01:04:21):
So building support building support community. How does mindset influence
the way people set boundaries or create safe spaces for themselves?
Mindset is everything, because if you don't have the mindset,
you will think that you're being mean when you set
a boundary. And if you don't have a certain mindset,
people will manipulate you. To cut your boundary, then you
will be mad and be burnt out and have an irritation.

(01:04:44):
The reason why we get irritated when we do things
for people. When we're irritated, that means they cross the boundary.
That means that you weren't supposed to do it anyway.
You just didn't know how to say no. So it's mindset.
Mindset helps you know I'm doing this for me. It
has nothing to do with you. And if you think
it's something about you, then that's on you. That has
nothing to do with me. I'm not creating boundaries for people.

(01:05:05):
I'm creating boundaries for me because I love me that much.
And if I don't have that mindset, it can trip
you up every time, especially when come to your kids,
your spouse, your girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. Oh them the most
ones who test them try to push your boundaries. And
I had to learn that. Yeah, I like well and
it don't feel good and don't got to stick to

(01:05:26):
a boundary. What when I got stick to a boundary?
Sometimes I go cry because I love people.

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
But I know I got do it for me.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
I like, come on you like no, I'm like.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
Like that, like that, like that, Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
Okay, for those supporting loved ones with LUCAS or any
other autoimmun diseases, what mindset shifts do they need in
order to truly be aligned? Understand them, Ask them, have
conversations with them so they can understand.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
What's going on in their mind, in their brain. That's
what I would say.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
Just really have real conversations and be open to how
they're feeling so you can perceive the world how they're perceiving,
so you can get more understanding.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Case in point, my guy son.

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
He has he was diagnosed with.

Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
This my little thing. My husband have a webinar right now.
But I love you, so I'm yeah, he has sickle
cell and he's in the hospital a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
And I didn't My god sister has stickle sell So
when we used to go you met my god sister Vegas.
So when we used to go swimming and stuff when
we were younger, we didn't understand how sometimes she would
have to leave and go to the hospital, like not understanding,
like we're to us, like what we just went swimming,
But some things would trigger episodes. And then with my
god son, seeing how much my homegirl has to be

(01:06:51):
in the hospital and things like that. It made me
slow down and want to understand it more. And because
I slowed down and understand the more it helped my
mind said differently. And now I'm more mindful of how
to come to them or I'm not as for my
god sins that we've grown now, so I'm not as
hard on her on certain stuff. And then when my
god son, I'm more a little bit not fragile treating

(01:07:14):
him different. But I just have a new understanding. You
might not can get up and play with the kids
because you have a swollen leg, and I think I
ain't playing with the kids. Back in my day, we
all just used to play with it. So it's more
of an understanding, not treating them different. But now you
gotta more of a awareness. You're not gonna expect somebody
in a wheelchair to get up and run and chase you,
right because you have an understanding. You're not gonna baby noming,

(01:07:34):
but you're just gonna be like, Okay, they can't do this,
let them do this, you know. So that's what I
would say as far as mindset, get an understanding, And
that's why I used to tell people or still tell
people to this day, Like when they ask me what
it is, I'll tell them, but I'll like gonna read
because it will stick to you better if you're gonna
read versus me just telling you. I can tell you
what it is all there. You read, yes, literally, and

(01:07:57):
a lot of people don't like to read, so it's
just like they don't know. And I feel like that's
why primarily lupas is not in the forefront like how
it should be.

Speaker 2 (01:08:05):
It should be.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
Like you even made me aware of lupus and doing
one of your events I was speaking at, so I
did some research and I ain't even realize how many
famous people had loopis and they will say like they
were sick or but for some reason, I didn't know
it was lupus.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
And I'm like, oh, she.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
Has lupis, she got loop he got lupus. Like it
just makes and I'm like, why are we not talking
about this? And then you do your research and you
see how much more African American it's like while we're
not talking about this. That's why I love and respect
your show, because people don't read. But people look at
podcasts now, so the shows like this is warning and

(01:08:44):
it's needed so people can be aware of these situations.
That makes me feel so good because even though like
I show up every day and do it, like, it
just makes me feel so good when I get the feedback,
Like I had supported LSU in Illinois for their walk
and people just heard me talk and they came over
and it was not our people.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
They came over and it was just giving me all
the grace.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
And that just do a lot for me because like
I'm a very adamant about it, and I know part
of the reason why we're not getting to acknowledge how
we need to get acknowledged and the people that has
the tools that they have to help us, it's not.
So it just makes me feel good when we can
come together, even on a small level, to do just

(01:09:28):
a little bit of something.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
So I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
Yeah, we're going to move on to personal insight and encouragement.
What mindset help you overcome challenges in your own life
and careers?

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
Being okay with my story?

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
When I start being okay with my story, I'm in
doctorate school.

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
And congratulations God.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
So when I first started, we have to present and
part of it was our story and I'm like, listen,
where I grew up in my background, Baby, listen, if
you look up therapy creditions in my life, baby, they
don't mix.

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:10:12):
So when they had me do that, and it was
in front of a lot of people who don't look
like us, not around our age, probably over sixty in higher.
So when I did that, that shift my mindset because
they didn't shame me for it. They was like whoa,
and you're here, and they that response let me understand

(01:10:33):
the power in my story. So when I realized the
power in my story, I start accepting so much stuff
that I hid and I didn't want to talk about.
And my son, he will put the ice on the cake.
He has saw a journal of mine. My mom keep
a lot of stuff. So he was going through the
basement and he was like, Mom, fuck, this journal knows.

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
Me but right and I'm like, you ain't read it?
And did you? He was like no, I ain't read it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:57):
But then we got to talk and he was like
yeah because at one time, wait a minute if you
ain't read it. And he showed me the power of
my story. He like, Mama, people need to know this
version of you because they do not know. So it
was like simultaneously me going through that class and him
staying that, which made me realize the power of my story.
And I have forgot so much, not because my brain

(01:11:19):
forgot it, because I was so wanted to get out
of it, wanted to get out of it that you
forget because you forget it because society say that's not good.
So when you say mindset, it was accepting my story.
When I accepted my story, I was able to find
the power. When you find the power in your story
and who you are, they can't do nothing with you.
My excess can't threaten me. My people who I used

(01:11:42):
to be cool with can't be like I'm gonna left
the world.

Speaker 2 (01:11:44):
They used to because I didn't want the world to
know a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:11:47):
But if I own my story, how could you make
me feel shame about my story?

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
This is my life.

Speaker 1 (01:11:51):
I lived in my life like, oh, this is my world.
So that was the mindset. When I learned the power
of my story, my mindset shift and I became bolder,
and I became I wish them up. Would I like,
I what you're gonna do? And I need to tell
my story so more little girls can that made a mistake.
Don't think their life is over. It's because it's grown

(01:12:13):
people want to make it seem like we forgot what
we used to do when we used to do what
we used to do, And you're making these little girls
feel so shamed, like we don't go through nothing. Imagine
what they look like. They can see a black therapist,
but imagine the difference when they see a black therapist.

Speaker 2 (01:12:27):
But they know they that she used to live just like.

Speaker 1 (01:12:29):
Them, experience some of the same thing, had to overcome
some of them same hate things that was installed in
my head so deeply, and had to unlearn those things.
She gonna believe me a little bit more where society
told me I should be ashamed. That's inspiring to the
next young girl who I'm waiting to come behind me.

Speaker 2 (01:12:47):
That is just so so dope like you. You are
absolutely right.

Speaker 1 (01:12:51):
Can't nobody do anything what you want you to decide
to own your story. Unfortunately or fortunately, I don't even
know which one to say that I is are going
through things until later on in my life, so I
didn't know the things that I was going through. And
when you know, you apply for things or whatever, that

(01:13:12):
it was a checklist because I had everything all right
and it was never questionable because I wasn't going through
anything to you know, to say no, so to have
all of that, and I called you on that. You
was like, get in front of it, get in front
of it. But everything inmy didn't want to get in
front of it because I'm like, what the heck, you know,
they are trying to destroy my whole life. But I

(01:13:34):
do talk about it more often than not, and I
do bring it up because I just feel like people
should be aware, you know what I'm saying, And it's
not okay to just do malicious things and think nothing
can happen to you. You can do you know, cease
and desist and do all of those things. Like it's
not okay to go through those traumatic experiences just because

(01:13:57):
somebody is upset.

Speaker 2 (01:13:59):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
So I do have something in the works of that
because it's what you do and you don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:14:07):
But at the end of the day, like that was
very like I don't know why. It was shameful. Maybe
because the title.

Speaker 1 (01:14:12):
Of it all, no, you know what I mean, make
us shameful if we're doing anything other than it didn't
matter the title, if we're doing anything other than what
they say that the founder and visionary of Lupis has
no face. If society say you're supposed to be this
anything other than that, you're gonna think that that's shameful.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't I shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
Be taking shots. Oh my gosh, I'm a CEO. If
the pope shot, If that's what I I know that
because God, like you ain't known that this season, then
I ain't known that this season. But you can't like
I get it, and I understand because that was me,
Like man, I wish we had longer, because society really
trapped me and thinking that I was like, you come

(01:14:53):
back out here, when you come back to Milwaukee, because
they really a trick you and think that, Yo, you're
not supposed to this. You not, And it do make
you shameful, and it make you be so scared because
society tress want you to live in fear. If they
if you live in fear, then they got you scared.
To scared wasn't the word being scared or not knowing

(01:15:14):
how to comprehend, couldn't think straight, couldn't nothing. But it
was so crazy because I promise you that's when I
learned weapons formed against me. When I crossed your mind,
Like I always said it, but I never knew what
it meant to that like things coming for you. Like
I feel like the successful that you become, you're going
to be hit with unexplainable things. But I feel like
that's to help you to sustain the success that you

(01:15:37):
get when.

Speaker 2 (01:15:38):
You get it, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
And I feel like success comes with a different type
of level of strength.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
And I just feel that way.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
And that's my opinion of going through those dark times
because this is like how do you we even get
And I was being so blessed in going through that
and nothing touched me. So I was just like God
knew what he was doing. Like I felt like it
was the darkest top of my life, but it really wasn't.
Like it was just like I need to get you ready. Yes,
think about the butterfly and cocoon. Think about the evolution

(01:16:08):
of the diamond. It has to go through so many things.
Nobody wants to cold, but everybody wants the shiny diamond,
but you don't think about.

Speaker 2 (01:16:14):
The all of the hard things they have to go through.

Speaker 1 (01:16:17):
And I love what you said as well, because God
will put us through some stuff, like we'll be like, oh,
I just want peace and didn't expect peace. No, God
gonna put you through some things where you have no
choice but to surrender to peace because.

Speaker 2 (01:16:29):
You don't been through so many things.

Speaker 1 (01:16:30):
Now you know how to deal with things and have
emotional intelligence and not take it so personal.

Speaker 2 (01:16:35):
So now you can definitely live in peace now.

Speaker 1 (01:16:38):
And some of these things I learned from my girl
Sarah Jakes. Some things are qualified attacks. We don't want
to go through anything. We just want the end be all,
and that's what it is. Some things are qualified attacks
because God needs to strengthen you in this area. You
still lack, mikel You still care what people think. So
let me post your son on social media and everybody think,

(01:16:58):
here a fucking murderer.

Speaker 2 (01:17:00):
I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:17:00):
You got all these professionals calls, the all of me
would have been so embarrassed. The new me, y'all late,
this been up, this all we already being God done talk.
We got the behind scenes, but so much was coming
at me. I had to know like, no, this is
this an attack, This a qualified US hack?

Speaker 2 (01:17:18):
Why cause it's strengthening me? And had I not gone through.

Speaker 1 (01:17:21):
What I've been through in my life just in this
transforming through the ted talks and stuff. It would have
hit me different, but now I'm more poised. Now I
can go into whatever room with my last cross with
my son on social media platforms and everybody texting me
still being doctor McHale did. Because it doesn't change anything.
I'm still alike. I still transfer lives, like that's what

(01:17:42):
it is. So sometimes we go through things because it
do it makes us form into this.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
I'm like, that's the best worst thing people could have
ever did to me.

Speaker 1 (01:17:51):
What we're talking about my ex who we were legally
married for ten years, and you want to see me
in jail because I missed three days with the kid tip.
I can't make this life fuck. I cannot make my
life up. People will be like, how are you here?

Speaker 2 (01:18:05):
What we were doing? Women Evolved and we were doing
BFG Evolution.

Speaker 1 (01:18:11):
The first day I went to go tip, our waiter
Sarah just said that sometimes it's a qualified attack. Ten
minutes later, I looked in one of my accounts. It
was negative seven thousand dollars. You're talking about qualified attacks
and I'm like what? And I did some investment. It
was my com with my daughter, you know, and she
had got involved in some scamming stuff, but that was
just that.

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
And here I am day one. This is a fo
they run and.

Speaker 1 (01:18:36):
Godling these women face and talking about how God is evore.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
I want to go beat her up right now.

Speaker 1 (01:18:44):
You talking about some test baby listen, no for real,
like and that's why, like you used to say, like
I'll see you and me, and I said, but like,
I'll watch you close up front. I'm making my business
to a tend whatever it is that you have in
and things of that nature, because like my connection with
you is just so different is you probably would never

(01:19:06):
understand it, but it definitely is different. And so when
you say that, it's just like, yeah, like I seen
you here, there, there and there and everything you said,
it has became and it has evolved, and I'm just
like this girl be talking her stuff and it wasn't
five years, teen years, none of that. Your turnaround has
been crazy quick, has been crazy quick. And then you're

(01:19:30):
talking about qualified attacks. I couldn't understand that for the
life of me. Leaving Sarah Jakes coming back to a
phone call saying I'm shuming just like that. I'm just
like like Christ just supposed to be covering me right now,
like how did you let me come home to this?
You know what I'm saying, but I unders stood it
on a different type of level, Like you know what

(01:19:52):
I'm saying, Like, so.

Speaker 2 (01:19:55):
I just how dare you get poort into and be
crying and surrender to me?

Speaker 1 (01:19:59):
How the enemy? Like a ha ha ha, you're thinking,
was sweet? I got something for you when your land.
I couldn't believe it when I saw I said, yo,
how like I mean not how but how like we
just was having this beautiful moment.

Speaker 2 (01:20:12):
I'm like the enemy you work that fast? You work
that fast? It was.

Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
It was crazy and I developed PTSD over that, literally
I did. But it's just like I'm starting to learn.
Well I've been new, but I'm starting to actually learn
and make sense of it. Like I said, anything that's
glittering glam that we won't We're gonna go through hell
and how waters to get it so we are able
to sustain it when we do get it because.

Speaker 2 (01:20:35):
They've not got it. No, you can't. We ain't gonna
be able to fake like we got glittering glam.

Speaker 1 (01:20:40):
I guess you can't on social media that, yeah, because
that's some stuff that you got to go through to
actually really get it. And then if you really actually
go through the Bible. Not to be saying like that,
but everybody wasn't perfect in the Bible. People stole, cheated,
all types of stuff, but God used it for their
strengths to carry out the duties that he needs to
carry out, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:20:58):
What I'm saying. So that's a whole other thing anyway,
because I.

Speaker 1 (01:21:00):
Talk about that a lot, and I'm like, we we
talk about Jesus the Disciples.

Speaker 2 (01:21:06):
I'm like, do y'all know first off, Jesus gangster?

Speaker 1 (01:21:08):
Do y'all know who squad?

Speaker 2 (01:21:13):
Squad? But y'all want to say I'm wrong because I'm
saying right. So I do get what you saying though,
and it does happen.

Speaker 1 (01:21:24):
It is qualified at texts and people don't know what
we go through behind closed doors. But when you want
to get to that glamour and that glitter and you
do it for real and it ain't just social media. Baby,
can't nobody take that from me. Anybody who see me,
people be like, oh, you like you are on social media? Yes,
I am my brand, literally, like I'm my brand. Sometimes
on social media. I'm like, come on, with me. Y'all

(01:21:46):
know y'all was stupid, Like why would y'all do that?
And I'm gonna say that in person, but I'm also
like you, what up, queen?

Speaker 2 (01:21:52):
What's up? Ball? And I'm like that because I'm a
girl's girl. For real. People be acting, but I'm not
for real.

Speaker 1 (01:21:58):
You got the test experience that I you off, but
I got the chance to experience that at A don't
know if this is the second event or the first
event she was at, but you really took care of me.
I was the first time that I had a woman
that was making sure my hair is straight, and like
you did it effortlessly, like you made sure it was
no stress, and you showed up bad, like you had

(01:22:18):
your stuff together, your heels on, and you was taking
care of another. I never seen that a damn mouse.

Speaker 2 (01:22:24):
I was doing it for people. I never seen that
a damn life girl right here.

Speaker 1 (01:22:30):
That's why I will always speak Holly and like I
don't care who comes. Can nobody come tell me nothing
about you? Like they just can't. It just won't happen.

Speaker 2 (01:22:39):
But if you think about it, Queen, I'm gonna say this,
and I'm gonna let you we can wrap up.

Speaker 1 (01:22:44):
Yes, but it's so crazy because when you are light.
I saw so many times when I'm light and I
grow to a certain point where my light shines bright
that that triggers people in security and then I'm the
villain in their story. And it took me a long
time to be okay with being somebody's villain because I'm like,

(01:23:06):
what I did this when.

Speaker 2 (01:23:08):
Nobody was there? I'm ni da da da, It won't four.
That was God.

Speaker 1 (01:23:12):
God used me to be there. So it's like, people,
don't wait what you say?

Speaker 2 (01:23:17):
That sound like a word? That part you understand, I'm
gonna lie. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like it would turn
your life.

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
So as you're growing and as you're doing the deeper
and deeper work, I need you to understand that sometimes
people will say things about you. You gotta just know
who you are so much that it don't affect you.
Why because I have duality on me for a reason,
two things could be true in their story. You could

(01:23:54):
be the villain. I was the villain in people's story,
not because they made it up. I was really bogus, but.

Speaker 2 (01:24:00):
It was a version of me. I remember driving one day,
I was cracking up.

Speaker 3 (01:24:03):
I was like, oh, Miquel, you was bogus, Like you
was out of order, our to beat your answerphology like,
but at that time I did not think I was wrong,
Like what you mean you shouldn't have did this?

Speaker 2 (01:24:14):
You was bogus.

Speaker 1 (01:24:15):
So I say that to say, sometimes we are the
villain in people's story, but that don't change who we are.

Speaker 2 (01:24:20):
That don't change it. They hung Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:24:22):
They didn't like that he was giving light and showing
people how you can heal within and you don't need
all this extra stuff. So they ain't like that. They
not gonna like us. But it's okay. We want to
be perfect. We want everybody to love us. We don't
love everybody. Some people's irritating and I'm like, you're too
lovely for me, and in the moved like so you
gotta know that some people don't feel like that about

(01:24:43):
you too. That's their world. It don't have to become
your world. So as I'm transitioning and as I'm going,
I want to tell you because you are a beautiful
queen that is doing the work and you're starting to
get it where you're like, okay, I gotta go deeper
and deeper.

Speaker 2 (01:24:56):
So in that. I just want you to.

Speaker 1 (01:24:58):
Be okay of being the villains sometimes because two things
can be true.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
And their world, you were the villain.

Speaker 1 (01:25:04):
You have no points to prove, give them that that's
their world.

Speaker 2 (01:25:08):
They don't got nothing to do with Savannah world.

Speaker 1 (01:25:10):
In your world, you just so happens to believe you
are light, and those people that you're attracting believe that
you are a light. Keep being that because the moment
you stepped from your light, it's in the proverbs, and
go to their darkness, you gonna get wrapped up in
there because.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
There's a lot of darkness out here.

Speaker 1 (01:25:25):
And just like I like being light, you like being light,
there are some people who just like being dark and
there's nothing you can say that's gonna make them see
light because they've been blind too long. So don't try.
Just be okay with being their victim and let them
go their way. I'm glad you realized I was your victim,
I mean, your villain. So now let me go away
and I'll be the villain and I gotta deal with you,

(01:25:45):
cause I don't deal with villains in my world. If
you my villain, I don't even want to you around,
So I will bow out gracefully and let me go
on my world. I can say being the villain, but
that don't change my life. That's your world that you
gotta deal with me being the villain in my world.

Speaker 3 (01:25:57):
Head.

Speaker 2 (01:25:57):
We living it up. We getting calls where people want
to pick make us up over here. You know what
I'm saying, Like, I love that. So we're gonna wrap
this up.

Speaker 1 (01:26:06):
Where can listeners connect with you or learn more about
Boss Flagirls. Okay, so there is I have therapist mchel d.
My website was mchel d. That's still worse, but now
we've converted it to therapist mckel d. When you go
to therapist mchel d, you step into my world. What
is my world? I am a licensed therapist. However, I'm
that transformational coach. So when you go to therapist mckel

(01:26:27):
d and you want to learn about Boss Flagg Girls,
you'll go on that transformational coach. We have our own
community now, which I'm so I'm so excited about that too.
We have our own private community, so that's how you'll
be able to get access to that. Or you can
just go to Bossflygirls dot com and you'll get access
that way.

Speaker 2 (01:26:44):
And then on Facebook.

Speaker 1 (01:26:45):
We have a private community on Facebook it's bossfly Girls Collaboration,
so you can find us there. But we're transitioning out.
So the best way I would say is Bossflygirls dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:26:54):
Do you have anything that's coming up? Yes, I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 (01:26:58):
So we have pair our Prepare series. My husband and
I do it every year. We do Prepare twenty four,
Prepare twenty five, so we have Prepared twenty six that
is coming out. That's December fourteenth is today. I think
it's a Sunday, So the twelfth or the fourteenth. I
believe it's the fourteenth, but that's coming. And then Boss
fly Girls we are about to roll out for our

(01:27:20):
Boss fly Girls Evolution and for twenty twenty six, so
those tickets will come out next week.

Speaker 2 (01:27:24):
I'm excited about that, look I'm like. But then lastly,
we just launched our private community.

Speaker 1 (01:27:32):
But I'm doing a big launch on October first where
I'm gonna go.

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
It's just gonna be a big thing.

Speaker 1 (01:27:36):
So y'all make sure that y'all follow us on social
media platforms. On Instagram, I'm therapist Underscore mckel d. I
can't wait, y'all. Tap in y'all will not be sorry
tap in, Oh my gosh, and I'm so sorry. And
they'll also start the next month. You'll be able to
pre purchase my book. It's called Moral of the Story.

Speaker 2 (01:27:56):
Waitt Just get that, did y'all again? Moral of the story?
Y'all know I'll be doing.

Speaker 1 (01:28:06):
The story.

Speaker 2 (01:28:07):
So my book is called Moral of the Story.

Speaker 1 (01:28:09):
And I just got the okay from my marketing team
that it was okay to say it because it's launched
in the back office. So more of the story underneath it,
say the psychology behind it, because the reason this book
is so amazing because parts of it is clipped from
my life about just my childhood, growing up and all
of that, and I talk about the psychology about it.

(01:28:30):
A lot of people think moral of the Story is
something cute at the end of my post, and I'm like,
y'all don't understand sometimes that moral of the story.

Speaker 2 (01:28:37):
I sit on that for days. That'd be God like,
just tell it to him like this.

Speaker 1 (01:28:41):
So the moral of the story, I want people to
think different, Like I'm gonna start with moral of the
story because some people go past my long posts just
to see the moral of the story. So I start
with the world of the story and then I break
it down. For an example, it might be moral of
the story. Girl, that ain't shit. Now, I'm telling you
a story about when I had lost when I did
this when not? Yeah, so you can understand the psychology

(01:29:04):
of how you ended up with that dude that you
know you and your gut you was better than you
know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:29:10):
So that's what the book is about. Where can the
purchase it?

Speaker 1 (01:29:13):
Go to therapist Machel almost Fit the same mckeld dot com,
therapist Michel d dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:29:18):
There is a link for you to pre purchase the book.
I'm so excited. I'm excited. We gonna put our orders
in today.

Speaker 1 (01:29:24):
Make sure you guys go there, share the link, okay,
and what is some takeaways that you will like our
guests to take away. Some takeaways is there is a
difference between facts and belief and a lot of the
times where we're like, oh, why this. If it ain't
one thing, it's another. If it's this, you're attracting those things.
Sometimes we operate on belief when we should be operating

(01:29:46):
on facts.

Speaker 2 (01:29:47):
If you operate on belief only, mind you.

Speaker 1 (01:29:50):
I'm not talking about the faith and things like that,
but If you're operating on that negative belief, you're building
a muscle in your brain, so your brain is not
even to open up to know the possibilities. Is thinking
about the problems, You're training your brain to look for
problems instead of solutions every time you're complaining about something.

(01:30:10):
So I challenge you ask yourself if you're feeling the way,
if you're in your bag about something in your body,
about something, ask yourself, is it a fact or is
this a belief? Because if it's a belief, it's something
you made up. And if you made that up, you
have the ability to make something else up in your mind.
For an example, if no one showed up and you're like,

(01:30:31):
don't nobody mess with me? See I had everybody bag,
they ain't nothing. Who told you that? Did somebody call
you and say, I don't mess with you? That's why
I a'mt coming? Is that a fact or a belief?
So that's my biggest takeaway is watch those belief systems
when you're operating in fact, because a lot of us
cost trauma in our lives and we don't even know it.

Speaker 2 (01:30:51):
We don't even know it.

Speaker 1 (01:30:52):
She doesn't drop some jewels for you guys, I definitely
will have her back on this show. Don't be surprised.
Do not forget to book your tickets for the Prepare
twenty five six Prepare twenty six in December and go
get her book. So thank you guys for tuning in.
We are live every Wednesday as six point thirty on
all platforms. If you did miss today, please go to

(01:31:14):
lupa'sa Small Face podcast and while you're there, like, share
and subscribe Til next time

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