Sitting Pretty an episode of Lux Radio Theater

Please enjoy Sitting Pretty a great episode of the legendary Lux Radio Theater - A Classic Old Time radio Show.

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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Lux Presents Hollywood Leeber Brothers Company,the makers of Lux Flakes, bring you
the Lux Radio Theater proudly presenting PhotoplayMagazines Gold Medal Award picture Sitting Privy,
starring Robert Young, Marino Harra,and Clifton Webb. Ladies and gentlemen,

(00:26):
Your producer, mister William Keeley,readings from Hollywood, Ladies and gentlemen.
This is the big night of theseason in the Lux Radio Theater because tonight
we present the picture that you,the moviegoers of America, have chosen as

(00:47):
the one you like best in nineteenforty eight. It's that delightful comedy Sitting
Pretty, selected by you in anationwide poll for Photoplay Magazine. Our stars
are Marino Harrah, Clton Webb,and Robert Young, the original cast which
made the picture a hit for twentiethCentury Fox. After Tonight's performance, Sitting

(01:07):
Pruddy will receive Photoplay magazines coveted GoldMedal Award, one of Hollywood's highest honors.
We had an idea some time agothat Sitting Priddy might win this award,
because every male has brought requests forit. These letters told us what
you thought of Lux Flake's too,and I'm sure that if we could take
a poll of housewives, their goldMedal award would go to lux Flake's.

(01:32):
Here's the curtain going up for Actone of Sitting Pretty, starring Clifton Webb
as Lynn Belvedere, Robert Young asHarry, and Marin O'Hara as Tasy and
Hummingbird Hill is a typical suburban communitywhere everybody knows a little more than just

(01:55):
the little about everybody else. Forexample, the neighbors all know that the
Harry King's housekeeper simply up and quittoday, leaving that nice Missus King with
that big house, those three noisychildren, and that terrible dog to take
care of all by herself. Yes, the news went through the community like
a flash, cheaply because of ClarenceAppleton. Mister Appleton lives on the corner

(02:19):
and has very little to do exceptgrow iris and mind other people's business.
Why what are you doing with that? Father? I am endeavoring to obtain
some pollen from these iris? Whyare you tilar flowers with a feather?
I am not tickling, young men, I am gathering. I have your
mother's permission, so just run alongto bother me. Why just does what

(02:40):
you're doing? Have you boys everwatch the bumblebee flitting from flower to flower?
Sure will, I'm doing just whatthe bumblebee do? Flash? Can't
sting to run away and play?No? No, wait, just a
minute. A housekeeper left today,didn't she She shouldn't? Did you share

(03:02):
her kill? Indeed? Tell him? Minute? What did you say?
Boom? This bicycle in the driveway? I guess the parts? So how
many times do I have to tellyou kids never to do that? Today?
No? I didn't lose another casein court today. I guess it's

(03:24):
the heat and missus Maypole quitting somehousekeeper. He sure was a drip pert.
Maybe you've got something there. Well, how are you fellas fine?
What's wrong with Roddy? What's hecrying for? This time? I'll tell
you something. Pull off of me? Can't you kids train that big ox

(03:46):
not to jump on people? Hejust glad to see your part, wahed
dog, He's glad to see everybody. I'll look here, Henry Harry,
Hello, honey banda. I'm sorryabout missus Maypole. Oh, Harry,

(04:08):
she knew we had three children anda dog when she took the job.
Now, don't worry, honey,you'll find somebody else. Say, isn't
that Clarence Appleton in the garden?What the devil was he doing? Oh?
That, well, it seems thatwe have a very healthy male iris.
And he asked if he could havesome pollens so he could breathe one
of his own. No, say, well, at least we should get
our choice of the litter. Oh, Harry, please, now about missus

(04:30):
Maypole. Well, I've decided thatwe just can't afford a regular housekeeper anyway
on this of course you got thatraise. Well, no, not yet,
but being invited to the boss's housefor dinner is a hopeful sign.
Who'd you get for sitter tonight?I didn't, Harry, you didn't.
But we're due there in an hour. Oh, I phone at least fifteen
of the little darlings. They're alltied up sitting. Oh it's no use,
Harry. Just phone mister Hammond andhelen that we can't come. Okay,

(04:54):
Tasey, he'll probably fire me,But okay, sometimes I wish he
would fire you as soon as youstop letting mister Hammond kick you or in
love for the last time. There'smore to starting a law practice than just
hanging out a shingle. You haveto make contacts and the only way you
can do that is with an old, established outfit. You know I'm right,
don't you. Well, I knowyou're a lot brighter than mister Hammond
thinks you are. Thank you.Now, what are we going to do

(05:14):
about a sitter? I mean forthe future. I'll tell you what we're
going to do. We are goingto advertise. I'm going to put an
ad in the paper for a well, a residentitter. What a resident babysitter?
Someone who can live in the spareroom. I'm crazy. Oh I
knew you'd say that, But justyou wait and see. There must be
someone we can get. Missus Kingand missus Harry King. Yes, a

(05:44):
good evening. I am Lynn Belvidere. You're you're who I'm the party who
answered your ad in the paper,Lynn Belvidere. But you can't be Why
not have you ever seen me before? Oh no, no, of course
I haven't. Very well then,well this is quite a shock, you
see we well, we advertise fora sitter, and naturally thought we thought

(06:05):
you were a woman. In yourlesson your advertisement, madam, of which
I have a copy makes no mentionof sex. Possibly not, but it
was certainly implied. I need someoneto help with the housework and sit with
my children, Missus King. Ihappen to dislike all children intensely, but
I assure you that I can readilyattend to their necessary, though unpleasant once

(06:27):
h Sorry, I've just had along and very trying journey in the day.
Coach. May I see my room? Your room? But my husband
isn't home yet, be if Imay say so? Is a matter of
competing difference to me? I takeit you are not retaining my services to
sit with him. But he's atthe station. He's looking for you.
I left the station twenty minutes ago. Well, he's expecting a woman.

(06:49):
We just assume that you wear awoman. You have made that painfully clear,
Missus King. Now may I pleasesee my room? Why? Well,
I guess so. It's it's upstairhere. Thank you? Boys?
What are you doing to stay?Love? Now you go back to your
ruin, go to sleep. Hearbabysitter? Gee? Will these are my

(07:13):
sons, mister Belvedere, Larry andTony. The babies asleep. Well that's
a blessing, isn't it? Mylittle They seem to be quite fascinated by
you, mister Belvedere. The fascination, I assure you, is not mutual.
Oh well, this is the room, mister Belvedere. We well,

(07:35):
we tried to fix it up asnicely as we could. Of course,
since you're a mister and not amiss. Well, one or two things
are obviously a little out of place. The flowers. Yes, I cut
them myself down. I'll just stopthem here in the waste basket. For
my work, Missus King, Irequire an atmosphere of spotting simplicity. And

(07:57):
may I ask what your profession is? Certainly I am a genius. Oh
oh well, well, good night, mister Belvedere, Good night missus King.
Harry, Harry, is that you? You and your cock eyed classified
ass? You never even got offthe train. Well, darling, darling,

(08:22):
I've got something to tell you whenyou were gone. Well tell me
I'm afraid to you suck me king? Oh, yes, before I retire,
And may I enquire a time yousaid breakfast? Hm? I am

(08:45):
about seven point thirty. Thank you. Perhaps I should tell you now I
like fruit juice, coffee and finnysliced jute and bread toasted. I'll try
to remember, thank you good night. Who Who in the heck was that?
That? Darling? Is? LynnBelvidere? Uh? Jac it's a

(09:07):
man, he Harry. Must youread your paper at the breakfast table?
Huh? I always read paper breakfast? Roddy you seria, Harry? Please?
What are we going to do aboutmister Belvidere. It's very simple.
As soon as he deigns to joinus at breakfast, I'm going to kick

(09:30):
him out right on his ear.Yez Pa, I think mister Belmidere's kind
of killed me too, he says. He says he's a genius. Well,
I don't think he's cute and geniusare no genius. I'm going to
see mister Belvidere right now. OhI better go up with you now.
You boys stay right where you areand finish breakfast. Oh and help the
baby with the cereal? Oh dear, how you Roadie? How you doing

(09:52):
with the cereal? I did?God? He's square, this fool?
Are you better? What shell?You? Wasn't your cereal or me?
Would you right? Why? That'sme? He's just your cereal, Lilian,
your base. He wizzy my hair, mister Belvidere kindly opened your door.

(10:16):
Belvidere, not sound, Harry.He's probably still asleep. I will
soon find out. Good morning,Oh Harry. Look he's standing on his
head. Good morning you. Youare standing on your head, aren't you?
I am. Oh. We're sorryto dash in on you like this,
mister Belvedere, but we did knock. I don't doubt missus King,

(10:37):
when I practiced my yoga. I'mcompletely out of this world. I take
it. Breakfast is ready. Now? Look here you When I talk to
somebody, I want to look himin the eye, not on the foot.
Well say something. It's no useto hear. He's out of this
world. He told you so.Come on, Harry, that's so silly.
I never heard of such a thing. He's standing on his head.

(10:58):
Of hole. Here's your coffee,mister Belvedere. Thank you. Oh Roddy,
No, now, put down thatspoon. Roddy all over mister Belvidere's
sleeve. Don't do that, littleboy now, uh, no care,

(11:20):
Belvidere. A joke is a joke. But this can't go on. Kindly
be more precise, mister King.What can't go and you're staying here?
That's what I'm perfectly willing to carryout my end of our agreement. I
see no reason why you should havefault on yours. But it's impossible you
couldn't do the things we require.For example, could you bathe roddy,
missus King. For many years Ihave successfully bathed individuals of all ages and

(11:43):
sexes, and I've never had anycomplaints. Little boy, don't do that
again, that fello Roddy. I'llstop it, mister Belvidere. My wife
tells me you're a genius. Thatis correct. Well, if I'm not
too inquisitive, do you mind tellingme what form it takes your genius?
I am, in my way thephilosopher. Oh, I see you.

(12:05):
You just sit and think, misterKing. If more people just sat and
thought, the world might not bein the stinking mess that it is,
well, maybe you've got something thereand you can really handle children. Henry.
I believe you mentioned only three children. Henry's the dog is a great

(12:26):
Dane, probably the only great Danein the country. He would rather chew
my shirts than chew a bone.I dislike dogs intensely, mister King,
almost as much as I dislike children, and your children, if I may
say so, have peculiarly repulsive habitsand manners. However, I assure you
I can cope with them successfully ifgiven a free hand. Gisn't height Tony?
Larry? Sit down and finish yourbreakfast, Stacy. I'm going to

(12:48):
the office, dog kids, seeyou to night by Stacy. Would you
mind walking to the car with me? Oh? Excuse me, mister Belvidere.
Then where do you boys think you'regoing? What good place? You
will? Ready mein seated? Huh? Sit down? Then the show,
breakfast and chew each mouthful twenty eighttimes, not twenty nine June or twenty
six, but twenty eight times.As for your baby brother, come,

(13:22):
oh, what do you think,Tacy? Should we give the guy a
horror maybe for a day or two? Oh? I suppose so. At
least the boys seemed to like him. Roddie, what's happening already? Don't
you tell her? He's been hurtyscreaming totally? What happened to the baby?
Horry? Look cereal? Ronnie's gotcereal all over his head? Yeah,
bull and all? Larry. Ifyou told Roddy to dunk is cereal

(13:46):
on his head? You may seenfive hours June night. So yeah,
me too, twenty eight times.The King, as you can observe by
the condition of my face and clothing, your youngest son has been pelting me
with cereal ever since I sat downto this grizzly meal. Huh. Therefore,
I decided to teach the child anobject lesson you dumbed cereal on his
head. I did precisely that,missus King, and you will note that

(14:07):
he didn't like it. I guaranteethat he will never throw cereal at me
or anyone else again ever. MisterVelvedere, consider yourself highed. He's done
that to me too. You knowyou've got something I couldn't agree with you,
Mam mister King. You might evensay I've got everything. Hi fellas,

(14:39):
whoa what goes with you two?It's young? Oh it steals well.
He had to relax at you.Well, just be careful you don't
relax so much. Break your necks, Hi baby, Everything under control?
Hello, darling, Oh Harry,he's terrific. He's got kid's out there

(15:00):
standing on their heads, and theylove him. They've been as good as
gold all day. They what hegave Roddy a bath and there wasn't a
peep out of him. Well,I'll be Hey's a dog. What's the
matter with Henry's he's sick, nodarling, but he must be. Look,
he just walk in, laid down. They see. That's the first
time I've ever seen Henry walk.Every other time he's just galloped. He's

(15:22):
not barking, no darling. Itseems that mister Belvidere used to be a
dog trainer or something, and hehad a long talk with Henry this morning.
Henry's been quiet as a mouse eversince. Isn't it wonderful? It's
incredible. But there's just one thing, Henry, Harry, mister Belvidere,
Well, he's sort of mysterious.How do you mean? Well, he

(15:46):
locked himself in his room. Iwent up and listened, but I couldn't
hear a sound. What do yousuppose he does up there? He's so
quiet. Maybe he stands on hishead. That doesn't make much noise.
Oh is he up there now?Oh? Oh, he's out taking a
walk. Then why are we whispering? I forgot. He said he's going
to go out for a walk everynight before dinner. Harry, do you

(16:08):
suppose it would be very unethical ifwe went. But let's go. But
I know it's the right key,Harry funny. It doesn't work, but
the right kid's gotta work here,let me do it. You're wasting your
time, mister King. Hello,eving. Knowing human nature as I do,

(16:32):
I suspected that you might try tosnoop. This is a new lock
on the door, but it cann'tbe. I didn't order a locksmith.
There was no occasion to missus King. I am an expert locksmith. And
now, if you'll excuse me,I will see you both later at dinner.
Oh, Harry, will you Well, you'd better tell the bobbies to
come in and watch. That won'tbe necessary, mister King. They're scrubbing

(16:56):
their grimy little pause right now.I don't know Tacy. He may be
all right, but let's face it, he is a screwball, well a
little eccentric maybe, book father,Since when am my father? Fidy sir?
But I wish you'd see it.Twenty and I are good and clean,
are we? Father? Mister Belvederesays that cleanliness is next to godliness?

(17:18):
Well, dear, need I saymore? I guess he stays Tacy
after a brief intermission, we'll presentAct two of Sipping Privy. What is
that book you were chuckling over?Libby? Oh Chicken Every Sunday? Oh

(17:41):
twenty centry Fox has just made amovie of it, and the picture was
so funny I wanted to read thebook and laugh all over again. I
think Dan Day is great as thedreamer looking for easy streak, and celest
Home makes such a practical wife.She loved the chance to play such a
natural role. Life in mother's boardinghouse provides plenty of human situations. I
remember the scene in Chicken Every Sundaywhere Celeste is washing dishes and then insists

(18:06):
on taking over. Well, theyhad a good many retakes on that to
get it just right. Celast washedquite a pile of dishes all told,
and she was very pleased that thestudio gave her lucks Flakes to do them.
What could be more natural? Millionsof women who care about their hands
never use anything else for dishes.Lux flakes are so mild and gentle.
They don't redden or roughened hands asstrong soaps often do, and yet it

(18:30):
costs so little to use lux flakesfor dishes three times a day. It's
really easy on the budget. Thetiny diamonds of Lux are so sheer they
practically melt into SuDS the instant watertouches them. I've never seen such thick,
rich SuDS. These tiny Lux diamondsare a real triumph of the world
famous Lever laboratories, and the SuDSlast so long. These wonderful diamonds actually

(18:52):
go further aunts for aunts. Theywash up to twice as many dishes as
any of ten other leading soaps tested. They're thrifty. Here's our producer,
William Keeling. Act two of SittingPretty, winner a Photoplay magazine's Gold Medal
Award, starring Marin O'Hara as Taisy, Clifton Webb as Lynne Belvidere and Robert

(19:12):
Young as Harry. Well. Youjust wouldn't recognize the king household any more.
Peace and serenity, like a hero, have settled over the little family,
a blessing directly traceable to the gentlemenin the spare bedroom mister Lynne Belvedere.

(19:33):
Now, on a wintery Sunday morning, mister Belvidere returns from a little
visit downtown round in the corner heencounters the community gossip. Clarence Appleton,
why it's Belvidere. A good morning, Belvidere. You will kindly address me
as mister Belvidere until I gratch permissionto drop the title a contingency which seems
hardly likely, mister Appleton, whois really intended no offense? But tell

(19:57):
me, mister Belvidere, are youcompletely happy with this hurry Kings? Only
an idiot's completely happy anywhere. ButI understand those dear little boys are devoted
to you, and that missus Kingconsiders you quite the treasure. Indeed,
oh my dear mother is very anxiousto make your acquaintance. Mister Belvidere.

(20:18):
Perhaps you could drop in on yournext afternoon. Now I am not a
servant, mister Appleton. My afternoonsare always my own. Oh well,
in that case, drop in anyturn with a glass of shadow. I
just like Sherry as much as Ideplore the habit of dropping in on people
uninvited. But mister Bilvidere, Iam inviting you, and I sir am
declining good day. I don't knowwhy we've got to be so particular,

(20:41):
Tacy. I just thought we couldsurprise the kids with a snowman. If
we're making a snowman, let's makeit properly. Now, you finish the
arms and leave the face to me. Okay, mommy, we all know
you were a great sculptor's before Imarried you. Any face, even a
snowman, must have expression and catter. Well, hurry up, for the
kids will be home from Sunday school, Daisy. Look, good morning,
mister Velvedere, Good morning, goodmorning. Oh I guess you left the

(21:03):
house before we even got off.Yes, well, cold enough for you,
nippy nippy, but it suits me. Well, how do you like
our snowman? Mister King? Youshould have let your wife do the face.
I did the face. Oh well, it'll soon melt. What do
you suppose he's got in that package? Oh? How do I know?
I'm giving up wondering about anything hedoes or has. But I made a

(21:26):
noise. I distinctly heard a sortof metallic ticking, So did I.
If he's doing anything illegal up inthat room, we could get into a
lot of trouble. Harry. Doyou suppose if you climbed up on that
tree and well, maybe crawled outon that limb? Yeah, I could
look right in his window. Tacy, go in the house. Why go
in and watch the stairs if hecomes down, find some way to warn

(21:47):
me. All right, but becareful. All I'm gonna do is climb
a tree. You see anything,Harry, not yet so I'm not high
enough. Stop looking at me andwatch for mister Velvedere. I am watching.
I'll know what he's up to injust a minute now, climbing trees,
mister King at your aid? Ohbetter come out, missus King.

(22:08):
Bring your role of gauze please,and some adhesive tape. Oh oh,
take it easy, well you that'smy risk trying to keep still. You're
lucky that no bones were broken.I must say that's a very professional bandage,
mister Belvidere. There aren't many peoplewho could do that. That's substantially
but General Pershing told me during theFirst World War you were a doctor to

(22:32):
a bone specialist. Oh no,is there anything you happened? Then?
Yes, Missus King, I've neverbeen an idler, not a parasite,
or have I ever climbed a treeto look into someone's bedroom? Now,
mister King, how did you arristfeel? I guess I'll live. I
hope it's better By tomorrow. I'vegot to go to Chicago. Indeed,
oh I thought I told you,mister Belvidere. Yes, he has to

(22:52):
go to Chicago and business. You'llhave nothing to worry about, mister King.
I shall endeavor to pinch hit foryou at every available opportunity. Tasty,
my hearing things. Something squeaked,Yes, I heard it too,
like like a bird. That's preciselywhat you heard, the twittering of a
bird. The cage is in theliving room, missus King. Where on
earth did it come from? Thatwas my package with you and mister King

(23:14):
stare at so pointedly a little whileago. I'm opposed to the practice of
a changing gifts at any time,but since you were gracious enough to give
me three pairs of excellent woe onsocks on the occasion of my birthday,
I try to get something for youranniversary that would give pleasure to your entire
family. In brief, A canarybird. How very kind of thank you,
mister belvet here. Oh, he'sbeautiful study thing, not yet,

(23:36):
but I shall teach him. Hey, Tasty, go ahead and tell Bill
to lay off that horn, willyou. Johnny, You've got to catch
a train and have been and aredriving you to the station. Nobody's driving
me to the station. I've justdecided I'm not going to Chicago. Why
not? I can't go. Ican't leave you here alone with Belvidere,

(24:00):
alone with Are you out of yourmind? Will you seem to find him
very attractive, Tasey. I findthe Grand Canyon attractive too, But that
doesn't mean that I'm in love withit. You're mad about him? Oh?
I am insane with passion. Now, look, Tacy, I'm not
suggesting that you and Belvidere will carryon while I'm gone. But well that's
done white of you. But youknow how gossip starts. And well,

(24:23):
look, would you feel any betterif I slept at Edna's house while you're
gone? Well, yes, yesI would, definitely. The kids won't
like it. I'll break it tohim gently when they get home from school.
You sure you don't mind? Certainlyon mind, But every night I'll
go over to Edmonton Bales. Now, pick up your bags, darling,
and beat it. Do you wantto get a kiss? No, I'm

(24:44):
a one man woman, and myheart belongs to Belvidere, all for him.
I'm coming beil so long honey,you should be very gratified, Missus
King. Oh, mister Belvidere,if you'll permit the observation, I believe
your husband was actually jealou in hissophomoric fashion. Mister Belvidere, don't you
consider eavesdropping a bit unethical? Unethicalbut fascinating. I particularly enjoyed your comparing

(25:10):
me to the grand Canyon. Nowthere's rugga grandeur. You'll call me,
missus King. It's it's time Igave Ruddy his bath. Wary waity,
wake up, wary wary. I'msick. My stomach hurts. Go back

(25:37):
to sleep and you'll feel better.I can't alerts tell mom? How can
I tell mom? You know she'ssleeping A lady? N I want my
mom. I don't We'll wait,mister Belvidere and running. I don't care,
do I know? Why don't youdown your head the way? Mister
Belvedere sat it? I already tried, but I only threw up. Okay,

(26:00):
okay, Tony, Oh wait,mister Belvedere, But I'm wondering yet,
not like this, moaning Tony.You requested your mother's presence, and
I have already telephoned for her.She'll be here in a moment, and
I Larry, put that bottle down. Honey, said he wanted to drink,
mister Belvidere, a drink of gin. Can't you read, young man?

(26:21):
The label on that bottle clearly saysdistilled London dry gin. Oh.
Oh, that he really isn't jim, mister Belvidere. The regular water bottle
got smashed. Misters ice water.When your mother arrives, she can drown
him an ice water, as faras I'm concerned. Until then, put
the bottle down. Oh are yousure you call the right now? Mister
Belvidere kind incredibly evel enough intelligence notto lose my head in the crisis.

(26:45):
If I'm not mistaken, and Inever am. There's a car turning down
the corner right now there. Now, back in bed and go to sleep.
You'll be fine in the morning.Gosh, Mama, thanks for comming.
Oh did you take his timp,mister Belvidere. No, I'm satisfied
that he simply has a belly ache, no more, no less. Oh,

(27:06):
well, he feels nice and cool. I assure you I could have
handled the situation perfectly well myself.If a child expressed a modeling desire for
his mother. Well, I'm gladyou did, Tony. Are you going
to sleep here more? No,dear, I'm going right back to Auntie.
Hadn't. Oh, And by theway, Dopey, the next time
you find a package of chewing gum, be sure it is chewing gum.

(27:29):
Good night, darling. I'm sureyou'll go right to sleep, mister Belvidere,
whereas I should be plagued with insomnia. I also hope you will forgive
my appearance. I don't usually rushthrough the streets in the middle of the
night in a bath robbin, whoevercould that be? If you go to
the door, you need not conjecture. Oh, mister Appleton, please partly

(27:51):
intrusion. This is king. ButI noticed all the lights go on,
and knowing your husband is away,I just constrained to dash over to see
if anything's wrong. No, thankyou, miss Appleton. Everything is fine.
Well, just a lahbly call,you might say, to offer my
services if needed. I can seethat they're not. And how did you
know our lights are gone on?Did you borrow your mother's binoculars or were

(28:12):
you perhaps looking for pollen and youriris? Put down that bottle, mister
Belvidere, I shall, mister Appleton, I merely intend to have a drink.
Well, well, I can seethat I'm not needed here. Your
vision is remarkably accurate. Evil mindedlittle worm, missus King, do you
know anyone who has a beehive?A good smarm of bees could ruin his

(28:34):
iris? I know, but howcould you get them to swarm? Ah?
Honor, don't tell me you arealso a bee keeper? That is
correct. Well, good night,mis King, good like, mister Belvidere.

(28:55):
Well, I simply had to tellyou who Ratio as Heady King's employer,
as the men he works you willknow on Clarence. What else?
Isn't that enough? Then? Iwas calling on an errand of Mercy Velvedere
and his pajamas and Tacy Kingen ina neglige covorting about and guzzling gin.
This is awful the wife of myown employee. Well, I'm sending for

(29:18):
Harry King at once. Oh,I uh, I don't suppose you let
this get around Clarence. You haven'ttold anyone else, will a hard lady
one? Who is you drunk?Three o'clock in the morning, Miss Adams,
take a telegram to Harry King.Now, if you'll just all I

(29:38):
pose, mister Belvidere. Oh you'renot getting bored, are you? Edna
bored? I'm having a wonderful time, but I do have to run along.
You may not have known it,mister Belvidere, but Tasey used to
be quite a sculpt Hmmm. It'spossible, And I think it's very sweet
view to pose like this and giveher a chance to practice. My motive
is missus Philby are not entirely unselfish. Someday they will need a bust to

(29:59):
knee in the Hall of Fame.The only virtue you like, mister Belvedere,
is modesty. I do not considerthat a virtue, Oh I do,
Harry is very modest. Your husbandhas a great deal to be modest
about. Let me get it done. See at the hot tonight as usual,
rite after dinner. Good Bye,mister Belvedere. So thank you for
going. Now, perhaps we canget something accomplished. I doubt it.

(30:23):
It's your jaw, mister Belvidere.Your jaw is just isn't right. My
jaw is perfect. Come here andI'll demonstrate now if you if you place
your fingertips at the base of myjob like this a little higher. That's
it. There you are. Nowfeel how the orbitularious honors operates over here
at the jaw bone. Well,can't you feel it? Oh? Yes,

(30:45):
yes, well, oh this isa cozy little scene, Harry.
Why Darling, what a wonderful surprise. I didn't expect you till Thursday.
Pretty obvious you didn't. Would youmind telling me just what you two were
doing. I was permitting your wifeto sage my legs, and I might
have mister King. That you're greetingto missus King is scarcely cortial. I'll
greet my wife anyway. I like, Harry. I came back from Chicago

(31:07):
because mister Hammond sent for me.I just came from his office with my
head so full of gossip that Idon't know where gossip about you and Belvidere.
Now look here, Tacy, stopraising your voice. I'll raise the
roof if I want to, Tasty. Look, I'm willing to believe that
all these rumors about a drunken orgywith Belvidere are somewhat garbled. So that's
it. The fine hand of Clarenceapples. But my gosh, tasty.

(31:30):
Just now, when I came intothe house, you were practically holding Belvedere
in your arms. She was merelyfeeling my bone structure. You shut up
and listen. I am listening.All I can hear is a typical suburban
husband reacting in a typically stupid andstuffy manner to a typical tempest in a
teapot. He's right. And asfor that drunken orgy, Tony got us
all up in the middle of thenight with a stomach ache. I dashed

(31:52):
over from Edna's and I wasn't inthe house ten minutes when that horrible little
mister Appleton came snooping around. Ohwell, I imagine it was something like
that. Look, I'll admit it'sall pretty silly, but well, but
what well. I was just thinkingthat perhaps it might be simpler all around
if if mister Belvedere saught employment elsewhere. I see to certify malicious gossips like

(32:15):
your dear boss and Clarence Appleton.You want us to take mister Belvedere out
In a word, yes, ifthat is your final decision, mister King,
Yes, I'm sorry, but that'sfinal. Oh hi, kids,
reason state pay anything you want onit. Please don't send mister Belvidere a
west. That's enough of that.Your father's not the type to be swayed

(32:37):
by sentimental keating. Don't lead hima fare Please, we love mister Belvedere.
Don't go Uncle Lane, little boy, don't ever again as long as
you live there to call me uncle. I know, stretch of the imagination.
Could I possibly be a relative ofyours? My name is, mister
Belvidere. Is that clear? Yes? Yes, sir, Yes, sir,

(33:00):
that's better. What the hell's thematter with Roddy Killer? Are psychic,
mister King? They can sense impendingdisaster? Okay, okay, I
know when I'm licked. You canstay. Roddy stop going, head o
King. You were sent for me, mister Hammond, Yes, Harry,

(33:29):
I did. Sit down, Harry, Sit down, Harry. How long
is it since you returned from Chicago? Oh? About a month, mister
Hammond, am month, Harry.The firm of Horatio J. Hammond and
Associates has a spotless name in thiscommunity. Absolutely spotless. Yes, I'm
sure it has. And as Itold you about a month ago, I
consider it mandatory for all connected withthis firm and their wives never to incur

(33:51):
the slightest gossip of the scandless nature. Oh now, wait a minute,
if you're still harping about those stupidrumors, I do not hot, Harry.
Where was your wife last night?Now look here, mister Hammond,
this has gone far enough. Iagree with you. Last night, your
wife and mister Belvidere were seen togetherat the Crystal Cafe. They were dancing
the roomba. That's ridiculous. Lastnight, Tacy and Edna Philby attended the
lecture at the Women's Club. Youwere with your wife. No, I

(34:14):
wasn't. I I was tired andI went to bed early. I don't
doubt that Casey might have attended thelecture, but I know that after the
lecture she was dancing the roomba withmister Belvidere at the Crystal Cafe. I
saw them they myself. So didmy wife, Missus Hammond. So did
Clarence apple Dedan his mother. Nowfor the details. Oh it hurts me,
Harry, it hurts me deeply,Harry. Were in the kitchen darning.

(34:40):
Mister Belvedere has made them making themost delicious salary. I'm glad he's
here. What I've got to sayis for both of you. Tacy,
why didn't you tell me you wereout dancing with this man last night?
Now? What have you heard?Answer my question? Why didn't you tell
me? Well? I tried totell you when I got home, but
you were so sleepy and disagreeable youwouldn't listen. Then why didn't you tell
me this morning at breakfast? Ican be sleepy and disagreeable too, mister

(35:01):
King. Our meeting last night withpurely coincidental, but most enjoyable. Then
you admit it certainly. Moreover herumbles like a saint. I don't care
if he dances like I for Murray. You may be interested to know,
mister King, I talked off forMary I was Your conduct is making me
the last stock of hummingbird Hill.Why mister Hammond said, stop shreading that

(35:25):
Lettuce. Life must go on,mister Kings. Why it's not going on
with you in this house? Harry? I think you'd better pull yourself together.
After the lecture last night, Ednaand I went to the Crystal Cafe
for a cup of coffee. Itjust happened that mister Belvidere was there.
Go on, Tacy, he waskind enough to dance with me. Then
we each had a cock we wentDutch. Mister King, I have neither

(35:46):
the means nor the presumption to buycocktails for other men's wives. So suppose
you apologize to both of us nowfor this apologize I should apologize because of
your indiscretions. Very well, Harry, until you come to your senses and
stop letting mister Hammond run alive.I'm going to say, sit, Ryan,
go home to mother. Go rightahead. It's perfectly all right with
me, oh hair. It wouldbe difficult to tell what you are behaving
more foolishly, but I think youhave a slight edge. Mister King.

(36:08):
You keep out of this well.I thought you were going home to mother.
Very well, if that's the wayyou feel about satisfied, mister Beldedere,
you've just smashed my home. Stupid. It never gives me satisfaction,
mister King. Your wife is right. You owe her an object apology.
I've half a mind to punch youright on the nose. It takes half

(36:28):
a mind to results to such magWhy you I believe you at the door,
mister King, I negted to tellyou that in my youth I was
quite expert in the art of fisticuffs. Yes, mister King, Yes,
I think perhaps it's time I left. Will you pause now for station identification?

(37:01):
This is CBS, the Columbia BroadcastingSystem. Before we bring you Act

(37:28):
three of Sitting for Day, I'dlike to have you meet our special guest,
tellan Western, an ambitious young playerwho spends her free time as well
as her working hours on the twentiethcentury Fox Law. How about that,
Ellen, I just can't keep away, mister Keeley. I get a real
thrill out of watching the star's work. Then, if you saw a Letter
to Three Wives being filmed, youhad a chance to watch three stars at

(37:49):
once. Yes, I did.Minda. Darnell is wonderful, the perfect
glamor girl, and I think AnnSuthern is absolutely right for a smart,
successful career wife. Jeane Crane hasthe most sympathetic role, perhaps as a
young wife who doesn't know how tolive up to the country love crowd.
It was exciting watching those big countrycup dad scenes in a Letter to Three
Wives. They worked on them solong. I felt sorry for Jane.

(38:09):
She said her nylon stood up betterthan she did under the strain of so
much dancing. I'm sure lux flake'shad something to do with that help,
are you right, mister Kennedy.The wardrobe girl told me it's a rule
of the studio always to use luxflakes for stockings, just as they do
for everything marshable. These tiny diamondsof lux are a real economy. Scores
of strain tests on all kinds ofstockings prove it. Washing stockings with strong

(38:31):
soap or rubbing with cake soap makeruns come quickly, But with lux flakes
even shear nylons last twice as long. I do believe that's true, mister
Kennedy. I'm devoted to Lux flakesmyself. Well, then you've probably noticed
how much faster these tiny diamonds oflux dissolve. They bubble up into SuDS.
The instant water touches them make RichardSuDS too, that last and last.

(38:53):
They're such perfect care for stockings.It's no wonder ninety percent of the
makers of stockings recommend these tiny diamondsof lux. Thank you for coming tonight,
Alen Westcott. Thank you back nowto our producer William Keeley. The
curtain rises on the third act ofSitting Pretty. The photoplay Magazine Gold Medal
Award winner, starting Clifton Webb asLynn Belvidere, Robert Young as Harry,

(39:15):
and Marin O'Hara Astacy. For tendays now, humming Bird Hill has had
plenty to stalk about. Tacy hastaken the baby and rushed off to her
mother's. Mister Belvidere has mysteriously disappeared, and Harry is struggling unhappily to keep

(39:37):
together what remains of his home.But now something akin to an atom bomb
has suddenly struck the community. Anew novel has appeared in all the bookstores,
and the critics are raving about it. Unknown A the writes prison satire
of light in the Suburbs, sensationalnew novel hailed as best in ye first
and second printing, sold our entirecountry clamoring for copies. And what has

(40:00):
this work to do with Hummingbird Hill? Slendy. It's all about Hummingbird Hill
and the people who live there,and the author, of course, is
none other than Lynn Belvedere. Thesecond readers the novel holds a particular and
dismaying interest people like Clarence Appleton mothermother. Have you read the second chapter?
It's all about me and about youtoo. Do you see what he
calls us? He calls me mothermother. Speak to me, it's Clarence,

(40:23):
it's your boy, clerk, mother, mother. And then there are
others like Horatio Jay Hammond. It'sslander, that's what it is. Get
Harry King in here right away.Bring me every book we have in libel
laws, Ry, I'll suit myhiat court, in the country, the
whole town with two He's made foolsof everyone here. Lynde Belvedere, her

(40:47):
huge cumming Bird Hill as the backgroundfor a wonderfully why book and coming Bird
Hill is speak accept the Hugh residents, such as Edna Philby and her husband
him. I wouldn't be up thenSammy was looking at you. He was

(41:21):
selecting this. You knew that's whathe was doing. Oh no, no,
I mean I've seen the advertisements forthe book, but it's all sold
out here in Fort Wayne. Well, go on in, tell me what's
happened. Well, in the firstcase, Harry has just been fired.
But why for harboring Belvedere under hisroom? Tell her about me? Oh
yeah yeah. And when Bill triedto stand up for Harry, old Man

(41:42):
Hammond fired Bill too. Oh mygosh. And you know what they're gonna
do this afternoon. Some movie companyis gonna make a newsreel right at your
house. The news read they're bringingBelvedere back to get some intimate shots of
the Master the scene of his triumphin put Harry on the phone. I've
just got to speak Harry. Well, I'm sorry, but we don't know
where Harry is for what happened tohim. Probably nothing. He's probably just

(42:05):
out somewhere looking for a nice softshoulder to cry on. Bill Syphide Kacy,
Hello, I have a pot aboutthe nice soft shoulder. Must have
worked Bill ten to one. Taseytakes the first plane home. What's the

(42:28):
matter with you, policeman. We'retrying to make a newsdel in this house.
Can't you keep that mob quiet upthere? Telling our best? Mister
Billingsley, I must be two thousandpeople on here. Half I've won a
shot a man from half I'd wantto kill him, exactly the type of
reaction I anticipated. Well, II guess we're ready to shoot mister Belbny
here. Now. I'll be behindthe camera and I'm going to ask you
a few questions, So just beperfectly relaxed. And I'm a man id

(42:51):
no instructions. I have directed manypictures. I'm sorry I didn't know it.
All right, boys, Now,mister Velvedere, tell us how did
you write this book? I wroteit with a quill. That's a glad

(43:15):
I live here. I guess Ican go into my own house. Lady
hey je, she says, sheloves her. Let her in that way.
Oh you're missus King. I mostcertainly am. And if you tried
to stop me, I'll sue thepolice. Lady. Everybody else in town
has got a lawsuit. Let herthrow out larry towny. Oh you darling.

(43:35):
Oh missed you so much. Ileft him with and and oh it's
so good to see you. Chisdaddy. He didn't say that. Didn't
you watch the movie? We're goingto watch you come, mister Velvedere.
Critics throughout the country have unanimously hailedyour novel as a masterpiece of sheer genius.

(43:59):
That is correct. Well, howdo you feel about it? I
feel they were quite conservatives. Whyhead over there, wait time kt KT
that must be missus King. Itcertainly is. Oh tasy, gosh,
I'm glad to see you I hadto come back, DARNI I came the
minute I heard you were in trouble. Don't worry, It'll all work out,

(44:20):
all right. I've been such adope Tasy you have, indeed,
But there's no need to be emotional, missus King. He won't starve.
Mister Belvidere, I don't quite knowwhether to congratulate you or to strike me
with a baseball best. Yes,it's a move point, mister Goverdere.
Please, we haven't finished shooting.You are mistaken here, man. We
have now run along and take yourlittle help us with you. Edna,

(44:45):
Is that you welcome on? Ian? Ronnie wants his mama Tacy. I'm
sorry, but I thought I betterbring him over. Come on upstairs in
let's get out of the shamble.Yeah, go ahead, dear, I'll
be up as soon as I getrid of this gang. Look, fellas,
enough enough, get all these peopleand cameras out of here. Oh
hey, boys, clap it up. Just one of the penalties of fame,
mister King. Well, I'm notfamous, you will be. My

(45:06):
book has made you immortal. Hey, you can't cry, man, I
am horace you j Hammond and Atoanywhere I please? Where is this Belvidere
question? Oh? Oh, thereyou are. Don't you take your hat
off when you crash somebody's house.Don't you talk to me like I'll talk
to you any way? I likeyou fired me. Remember, take off
your hat, all right, it'soff now. Than mister Belvidere. It
is me the greatest possible pressure toserve you personally with his summons summons.

(45:30):
Well, well, how interesting.I am suing you for one million dollars.
All ball splendid. That's a goodround. Sum I'm gonna show your
toe and me and I'm mister Taylor, my mother and I are going to
sue for another million dollars. Inaddition, we shall see that you are
run out of toe. Excellent,mister Appleton, such a notoriety because the
sale of my book to saw evenhigher, if that is possible, mister

(45:51):
King, mister Philby, would youtwo young men be interested in acting as
my attorneys in least threatened suits?Are you serious, mister King? I
never dest about him. Dollars.Money is the root of all evil,
and I have the greatest possible respectfor it. Okay, mister Velvedere,
we'll be very happy to defend you. I'll say we will. The law
firm of Philby and King will beopen tomorrow morning, and they'll have their

(46:12):
work cut out for them, becausewe intend assume not only you, but
everybody who supplied you with this libellesson to make excellent idea, Mister Hammond,
you should always go to the sauceI intend to. Has it occurred
to any of you, gentlemen,who that sauce might be? Who is
the person who knows all about everyonein Hummingbird Hill? Who is the one
that, for years has made arepulsive habit of snooping and gossiping about his
neighbors? Who is it among us, for example? Who knows all our

(46:34):
little peccadillos with girls in flourish?The girl was merely delivering flowers to that
mottew and they were not orange bossoms, mister Taylor, were they? And
you, mister McPherson, why areyou karrak assured me in this book as
a drinking man, it is notI who counts the empty bottles in your
crush? Can mister McPherson, justone little moment? Are you insinuating that
I let the chips fall where theymay, mister Afferston, but I am.

(46:54):
And mister Hammond, who is itthat takes a habit of reading his
neighbour's mail? You may, oh, this is outracist? Are you suggesting
that I have been your your collaboration? Don't be so preemptuous. Let me
put it in terms that even youwill understand. You, mister Appleton,
have spread the pollen. I havereaped the harvest. But but, but

(47:15):
this is fantastic. I have beenmore grossly miligned in this book than than
anyone. It is only poetic justicethat a stool pigeon should be roasted.
So you wouldn't want to happen.No, no ratio that does not be
histed out. Hell my toast,Harry coffee, Thanks Daisy. Hey,

(47:40):
take a look at this. They'vegot Clarence Appleton's picture in the paper boy.
What a shiner I have bed itnearly killed him when mister Hammond went
over and trampled down his Irish bed. Well, how would you like to
go celebrating tonight? Hmm? Nottoo. Would you care to take me
dancing? Fancy? Remember I don'tdance as well as mister Belvidere. No,

(48:04):
dear, but you're much prettier.Oh oh, wait a minute,
we can't go anywhere. Who sitwith the kids? I will, mister
Belvidere. The mere fact that Ihave been catapulted into fame does not blind
me to the obligation I undertook here. Mister Belvidere, you're an amazing man.
Just what are your plans for thefuture, my dear missus King.
This book of mine is only thefirst volume of a trilogy. I estimate

(48:25):
the other two volumes will take meat least two years more, and you
you're going to write them here.Posterity will demand that the entire masterpiece be
written under the same roof. Yourhouse will become a shrine. Mister King,
I'm surprised that you even want tostay. It can't be very convenient.
You claim you don't even like children, and that is correct. Now,
if you'd excuse me, Oh well, mister Belvidere, yes, I

(48:49):
think it's only fair to tell youthat before long we're well, we're expecting
another child. Then you will findme of great service. Missus King.
I was also an Obstitucian. Ourstars will return for their correcting calls in

(49:27):
a moment. All aboard for London, Paris, Cairo, Honolulu. But
hurry, it's the chance of alifetime. Don't miss the boat. In
Lever's sensational fifty thousand dollars travel contest, you may win the most wonderful vacation
you'll ever have in your life.Just imagine. First prize is around the
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(49:52):
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dollars in cash. And that's notall. Fifty wonderful second prizes too,
each an all travel expense trip toEurope or twenty five hundred dollars in cash.
Besides all that, there are fourhundred additional cash prizes, each a
crisp meal ten dollar bill. Ifyou win the first prize, you travel

(50:15):
in luxury for one hundred and onedays, the best accommodations everywhere. All
trips are arranged by Thomas Crook andSon were all famous travel agents. Get
in on this exciting contest tonight.Here's all you do. Just finish this
statement in twenty five words or less. I like the large size box of
lux flakes, because send each entrywith a box top from the large sized

(50:37):
Lux Flakes to lever Tour the WorldContest, Box one, New York eight,
New York. Follow complete rules onthe entry blank you can get at
your store. Get your entry inthis week. Sure, this is our
last announcement on the Lux Radio TheaterMail entry to lever Tour the World Contests
Box one, New York eight,New York. Only residents of continental United

(51:02):
States, Alaska and Hawaii are eligible. We return you now to William Keeley.
We know now why Sitting Pretty waspicked as the favorite film of the
year, and here are three ofthe reasons. Robert Young, Marine o'hanna,
and Clifton wet Bill. We'd alllike to tell the audience how pleased

(51:30):
we are by the selection of SittingPretty. And I think Clifton Webb deserves
a special credit for his portrayal ofmister Belvidere, which has won him a
nomination for the Academy Award. Thankyou, Bob. Now, of course,
twentieth Century Fox has starred Clifton inthe sequel to Sitting Pretty. The
new film is Mister Belvidere Goes toCollege. Imagine me in College. The

(51:53):
All American Tackle of nineteen forty nine. I'll probably wind up in the road
rose playing tackle, no picking roses. Well, you'll all be picking up
medals later tonight when sitting Prudey receivesPhotoplay Magazines Gold Medal Award at the Gale

(52:14):
of Dinner at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I understand George Jessel will be the
master ceremonies. That's right, Bob, and our audience can get complete detales
of all the awards in the Marchissue of Photoplay Magazine, which is out
now. I was very pleased tolearn that The Street with No Name has
been selected as one of the tenmost popular pictures of the year. Oh
Bill, Before we leave for thedinner, I'd like to pass on a

(52:36):
personal award of my own to luckFlakes. We always have it on hand
at my home. Thank you,Marin. And now for next week's play.
It's a current success from Universal InternationalStudios, The Unafraid, and we'll
have the original stars of the picture, Joan Fontaine and Burt Lancaster. This

(52:58):
is a hard hitting action drama thatbrings together for the first time, a
new romantic team. Lovely and accomplishedactress Joan Fontaine and the two fisted Burt
Lancaster. You have another hit inyour hands. Bill. Good Night,
good night, good night. I'llsee you all later at the Photoplay Awards
dinner. Leava Brothers Company and makersof Luck Flakes join me in inviting you

(53:24):
to be with us again next Mondayevening, when the Luck Radio Theater presents
Joan Fontaine and Burt Lancaster in theUnaffraised. This is William Keeley saying good
night to you from Hollywood. MarinO'Hara appeared through the courtesy of twentieth Century

(53:51):
Fox, producers of Down to theSea in Ships, starring Richard Woodmark and
Lionel Barrymore Heard and tonight's cast wereGail Gordon as Appleton, ed Begley as
Hammond, Francis Robinson as Edna,and Donald Randolph, Johnny McGovern, Jeffrey
Silver, Eddie Maher, Bill Johnstone, Ken Christy, Bob Griffin, Cliff

(54:15):
Clark, George Neis, Leon leDux, and David Lyte. Our play
was adapted by S. H.Barnett, and our music was directed by
Lewis Silver. This program has cometo you with the good wishes. Of
the makers of Lux Flakes, thesafe gentle care recommended thirty three to one
by makers of Nice Washables. Weappreciate your many friendly letters telling us of

(54:38):
your own experience with our product,and we value your comments and suggestions on
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audience every week for the best indramatic entertainment on the Lux Radio Theater.
This is your announcer, John MiltonKennedy, reminding you to join us again
next Monday night to hear The Unafraidstarring Joan Fontaine and Berg Lancaster. Stay

(55:02):
tuned for my friend IRMA, whichfollows over these same stations. This is
CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.