2x02 | Piluca Arseguet, fue madrastra y sigue queriendo y tratando al que fue su hijastro. “Siempre estaré para él”

Piluca nos cuenta cómo fue madrastra sin hijos al principio. Luego madrastra y madre y ahora sólo madre. “Cuando me separé perdí también un hijo”
El primer beso se lo dieron gracias a su hijastro. Después de nueve invitros llegó su hermano. Con el tiempo, se separó. Nos cuenta si tiene relación con él, cómo se sintió al separarse y cómo gestiona la vida con los niños.

¡Bienvenida al reino, Piluca!

ALERTA: mencionamos a los Reyes Magos

Conviértete en un seguidor de este podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/madrastra-sin-hijos--5829144/support.

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Madrastras without children, a podcast ofClara montesinos or welcome to my kingdom pilucar

(00:36):
seguet how about. Thank you verymuch, Clara, so very pleased to
be here. At last we cansit down that in the end you'
ve done almost all that we liked. But here you are. Here it
is because when I met you,I knew that it wasn' t that
you were stepmothers, that I hadbeen stepmother, that I had been stepmothers

(00:57):
without a son, and then Iwas stepmother with a son. And now,
with both stages, now you're a mother, now you'
re a mother without being a stepmother. So I' m really interested in
that part of how you suddenly stopbeing a stepmother, because of course,
when we' re not good atit, because just like when you get
married and have kids, you thinkthat' s going to be forever and

(01:19):
we all know what' s mostnormal is that you' re not,
because when you' re a stepmother, you' re also clear. Then
let' s go to the beginning. Tell me how your story of Madrastra
begins, for it is a verycurious thing, because I really, when
I knew the father of my sonand the father of my castro, we

(01:40):
went out very often with the boy, that is, when we were having
lunch on a Sunday and so wewere going with the child, we were
getting to know each other, wewere not a couple or anything. Yeah,
and the first kiss we gave itto each other because the boy came
and brought us together sometimes, butyou want to kiss now, I mean,
it was tremendous. I said well, yeah, we didn' t
have everything else or four times andhe liked me super good from minute one.

(02:01):
I was four and a half yearsold and I wasn' t five.
It was small yes, and thetruth is that it was he who
started and you are boyfriends and yes, yes, there are times that children
perceive yes and because they don't have the exact filter. I can
' t say this or here youcan see that there' s going to
be a topic, but that's what they say more is that I

(02:22):
remember perfectly. In a restaurant thatgot up, I was sitting next to
his father, he was in front, he got up and put us like
this with his heads together and sayingcome give you a little kiss that it
is and it was our first kisswith the child and because he brought us
what the strong one is. Heis very discreet, but I sit down,
after all, and then I meana child, I loved the very

(02:42):
handsome child, the child, inaddition, the first years that he gave
little and he had it all dayin his arms. Yeah, the whole
holy day in your arms. Iremember we were going to my in-
laws' house and my sole saidthat this child why he loves pi Luca
so much. I' m alittle jealous, because it' s true.
It was put on my arm andit was clear there. And there
are times when very affectionate that in- laws, that is, families don

(03:07):
' t understand that relationship, butthey don' t have to be true,
it' s not their story andthey don' t have to get
involved. Yeah, but they're other clear generations. My father-
in- law' s mother-in- law was very bad, they
' re good she' s awhole living, they' re very old

(03:29):
and they didn' t even conceiveof the fact that their son separated from
his first wife. Sure, thenSure. That was a trauma to them,
and then I showed up and it' s a good thing. I
know that with me they were delightedand so, but it took me a
little bit to get in there.But when the child saw how he was
with me, he was flipping andthe child with me always very well and
with the child' s mother verywell. Yeah, that' s what
I was gonna ask you, becausewhen they split up, when the kid

(03:51):
had a little boy, he didn' t get a year to a year
and a little, so the kiddoesn' t really remember his parents,
pictures together, of course, hismemories. It was with you and her
mother, yes, of course,and with the mother she introduced her to
you. Yeah, we met atfirst. Yes, it' s true
that a little tension that I haveafter I have been a mother and understood
it, but the one I saynow appears to me with anyone and I

(04:13):
say to see that he will bewith my son, of course and more,
when the child is so small.My son is older now. But
yes, at first a little bitof tension could be noticed that he ended
up saying where he will go already, but right away, right away,
good vibe and the truth is thatwe took phenomenal. Then I' ll
tell you about Europe. Okay Ikeep it and the good time passes you

(04:34):
will live together. Yeah, we' re leaving right away, too,
very fast,' cause we've already had it set. That'
s why we' re wasting ourtime. We' re already going to
leave together, the enchanted child,the child, so it' s true
that I didn' t have sharedcustody. Then it wasn' t even
set up and we had it alternateweekends already some day during the week.
What happens is that in the end, because of the work of the mother

(04:55):
and so, she started to bewith us almost every weekend, the mother
dedicates restoration, of course and thenclearly it was complicated and we kept it
almost every weekend. But very wellyour relationship with him. Well, you
' ve always wanted to be amother or you always do. In fact,
my son is the ninth in Vitro, that is, I pawned,

(05:15):
I pawned was you, you hadhim to get, yes or yes,
so much my husband who was myshot. So, as I was very
committed to being parents and we wentfor all of them and with your stepson.
At first, I mean, youwere a stepmother first and then you
went to see clearly what relationship youhad to educate him or when he was

(05:36):
home. That was the hardest part, I mean, I was the one
who gave him the most. Yes, yes, because never to see yes
that educated him, because the typicalyou are at the table and do not
open your mouth elbows outside the table. The same thing my son recorded exactly
the same. I sat with himto help him do his homework, because
that kind of thing I always did. But it is true that when there

(05:58):
was one of my own with thereal child I kept the margin. He
preferred it for the parents to solveit, because, for example, if
the teacher calls that yes the child, obviously the parents go to the school
of the meeting, because it wasa bit big at the time. But
then I didn' t say anythingat home either, I said. I
don' t know if I calledDad account, I don' t know
what you have to change. Buta little more then I didn' t

(06:21):
try. Don' t put mein there too much now and you'
re going to live together. Yeah, right away and the relationship very well,
we really started looking to be olddads or something. And besides,
José Bueno' s name is Josethe little boy, he told me he
also wanted to have a little brotheror sister. It said I want to
have us. Yes, if wewere there, time was spent and it

(06:44):
didn' t happen and nothing cameout and then, like, for example,
Christmas and all those times that isfamily together like you say it,
because I think we keep doing itthe same. Christmas Eve we would meet
in a house usually they would coordinateon Christmas Eve your Christmas and I they

(07:04):
would coordinate so, in fact,we now coordinate like this with my son.
Of course it is quite comfortable,instead of all Christmas with one and
the kings with another, as thereis every night good New Year' s
Eve Christmas New Year' s Eve. We do it that way too and
so really you have it every Christmas, but enjoy both houses everything, everything
exactly, anyway, both Joseph,who also my husbands is named Joseph as

(07:26):
I and I believe that with hisfirst wife we have also been as very
permissive. In other words, wehave failed enough to tolerate the agreements of
the sentences, always on the criterionthat it will be good for the child
and that it will be good foryou, because we all come a clear
life. So yes, it wastrue that it was good for me,
it was good for José to havethe boy or not to have him,

(07:48):
because he talked to his partners,with his wife and there were continuous shifts
changes, and that we continue todo it anymore I did not pay to
change them. You pick it upand you pick it up or you pick
it up and you pick it up. In fact, now my living super
close to him is worth in asmall village in Jev healing for comfort also
for the child that you can fromone house to the other walking goes very

(08:09):
well, of course in the vicinityof your school friends. That' s
it, the perfect thing. I' m a good relationship. The convention
is really for when you look.I just can' t talk to the
father or the mother and the agreementthat says this. But according to the
children they are also getting older thatthey are already going alone from one house
to another or go alone to school. And now you want to be here.
Well, Bents, that' sthe bad part. We leave him

(08:31):
a little bit also the one hechooses, not obviously keeping the shifts,
and that his father, but isthat he is delighted with his father,
with his brother, with me,that the boy is happy where you leave
him and when you finally had yourson, there is what his reaction was
like. What was very nice,very nice, very nice, was when
we told her that we were pregnant, that we were finally going to wait

(08:56):
because, as it cost us somuch, we waited for the guy to
be there enough, although I wasat rest and he started to cry At
the emotion, he started to cry. Well, he' s super happy
and we' d say but why. I' ve been very happy.
Year he ten ten years old hadand adores his brother and well, they

(09:16):
adore each other, of course,but yes, yes, what happens is
that yes, it' s truethat equal to the beginning, as I
listened to him a lot, ofcourse, suddenly, I have a baby
already. Then he went a littlebit in the background, of course,
but well, like an older brother, like any exact older hand, and
I think that' s where hestarted a little bit with his wonderful brother,

(09:37):
because it' s always been.We' re really babysitting with him
and we' re going and Ilove that he has that older brother my
son, but I think that inour relationship there he deteriorated a little bit.
I don' t know if itwas a matter of jealousy, I
don' t know if it wasalso age entered adolescence or for everything together,
a little, everything, a littletogether. But that' s where
I really started to go to bed. I was saying I can' t

(09:58):
deal with him and I remember seeingmy friends, my mother was saying that
the kid made me. Look.What he said. I know, I
don' t know what to do, but of course, I think it
was a little close enough at thechild' s age and suddenly seeing that
it was no longer the focus ofattention. Of course, it' s
a bit of a truncated class,of course, of course, of course.
Despite that, well, I lovehis brother and he says he loved
him very much and he noticed whenhe was Baby continually holding him in his

(10:22):
arms. It helped me well tobathe I never wanted it clear. Of
course or any adult too that maybeor I don' t care about anything.
It' s true. It's true. And then you either
split up. Yes, he separatedme when Hector is five years old and

(10:45):
the truth is that Connector is sowell normalized the issue of divorces. We
were so afraid to tell him,but we all got together. There we
met the elder, the brother,we met the three of us and we
told him my time I spent whoto separate. Such and such a short
time before he had told me thata friend of his was very rough because
he had two houses. And thenlook at that and I said to her

(11:07):
you remember that you said that hewas very morrito out there you say,
yes, he says, because youtoo and I tell them what he said,
but what I stay with I sayto do with Mom initially, but
you will have because I have custody, because for the work of my husbands
you could not take full charge becauseand I at that time had a job
that allowed me enough to be everyafternoon after school with him. And so

(11:28):
very well now not before. Ofcourse, the thing is, from the
moment you split up, you havea scenario that, like life, is
changing and changing, of course.But now with the work that I have,
that I have had for two yearsand it is true, that it
is not that it does not giveme life as it is said now,
but I have a lot of supportfrom the father and thanks to the fact

(11:50):
that we now live so close,because much better. Of course that'
s very comfortable. Then you sitdown, tell your son and then your
stepson how you do it. Andthen we told you. He' s
got a bad taste too. Iremember what he said and I' ll
have to go from the house tothe other one too We said no.
Of course, there I am theone who really divorces my husband at that

(12:13):
time, but I also lose aclear son to see I don' t
lose him because I haven' tlost him. Hey, I have a
fabulous relationship with him, less thanI' d like. I would like
it to be more intense, butit is also true that the child is
twenty- two years old and thatyou make his life is completely normal as
we ate together last Sunday. Somedayhe comes home to eat, but well

(12:33):
less than he didn' t want, but also because I don' t
have time. And the other day, he was actually telling me you owe
me a cool noodle, uh,' cause he loved my ideowas and he
says you haven' t made mea noodle yet. I mean it'
s true, it' s true. You have to come because he'
s ever come home. We've done barbecue or we' ve done
yes and then he hasn' tdone it. I owe him bracideba,
so here he gave it to him. Yeah, it' s on tape.

(12:56):
But of course, it' strue how you go through that duel,
because in the end, yes,of course, the child understands that
suddenly he goes to his father's house and to his mother' s
house and I stay out of itand I don' t see his brother
either. Yeah, when he's at the father' s. Sure,
sure, the father organizes it insuch a way that always, always,

(13:16):
whenever he goes to Hector and sonsex yes, this josé very well,
always and whenever they are left thereare the three and in fact they
will blow me all together. Theyhave the passes, of course, and
not the father. That' swhere he' s organized it so he
' s always in an gone.Well, sure, yeah, yeah.
And then it' s very nice, because at first it doesn' t,
because Hector the little girl, butfrom a couple of years to this

(13:37):
part, that everything already has itsown motive. Every night they talk on
video called to all three, evenif they go to see each other the
next day. Yeah, yeah,yeah, so the three of you talk
on video call, even if it' s a minute, already because there
are times when the oldest I haveto tell myself I don' t know
clearly, or the kid' swith other things in me and oh not
that I leave you, but atleast for a little while. They always
talk by video call, because that' s very good, because it'

(13:58):
s really like, family nucleus.It is not lost even if they are
in all the houses the bond,that is not lost clear, of course,
yes and you, when suddenly itis that I imagine in my case
not that suddenly you say well,you had a son, I my callo,
I do not have, but howyou transit the duel suddenly do not

(14:20):
have Joseph. To José Yes itis true that since it was a stage,
it was the bad cover with José. You know you said I almost
rested, and he looked at me, he cavio a temporaditas to rest,
and in fact, when Joseph wasolder and one of the days we ate
together or he came home. Idon' t remember very well he told
me to put you a little bit, uh, I say a little bit

(14:43):
by bit, in the end alittle bit. It is also true that
I believe that they perceive that youare not well with their father, that
everything and everything influences, that thechild, that there is another child,
influences the age of the teenager orpreteen influences that they clearly hold the little
one, no, but yes,of course, but you the relationship with
his father and it is no longerwhat he was. We weren' t

(15:03):
so much fun at home anymore,there' s more seriousness, there'
s some discussion and they all perceiveit. So they are, they notice
that. And it is true thatwhen there are times when there is a
bad answer or there is an anger, really and especially the children, don
' t know in I mean,they get angry because there is something.
They get angry because it' sthe way they have to express, express
themselves. Yeah, I don't understand anything, I know something'

(15:24):
s going on and I get angryand I get an answer. But in
fact, it' s not theanswer. It' s okay why it
' s happening to you. What' s going on, it' s
clear, and then there' sno one who can' t feel guilty
about saying it and it would bemy fault that they' re like this.
Of course, yes, yes,yes, of course to say has
never, almost never. There isnothing to see, at least in my
case, no, no, butit is also true that children and especially
adolescents, believe themselves the center ofthe world for good and for bad.

(15:48):
And then many times that everything thathappens around me is my fault, no,
but of course you take it toyour ground, that is, your
clear story And then, like fromthat time I screwed you up a little
bit, you go to separate housesand there' s a time when you
come back, when we go homefor seasons. I haven' t seen

(16:11):
José al Chiquillo for quite some time, because besides, the father came to
pick up Hector, but he cameto pick him up just me. When
we broke up, I went tolive in a little pool in Valencia.
He lives outside. I had myrented bachelor flat. Then I had to
talk to the tenant to say yes, please, of course I needed it.
I reformed it. I mean,it took me almost a year to
go home and I remember you stillliving. I mean, it doesn'

(16:36):
t take a year, of course, months, but living. In the
rental episode one day, so Itold José hey, I want to talk
to him. Jose clear to Josemix yes talk to the boy. I
want us to stay how about thenwhat I took advantage of, because he
' s doing great with my nephew, my sister' s son, who
takes months or a year at themost, and then I took advantage of

(16:57):
and organized a meal. I saidcome the tros to eat already if you
see each other oh yes long agoI see Rubén, I don' t
know what and I put them togetherand we ate in a burguesería by under
the house and there we already startedto take back a little bit. I
told José, I can' tlose you I mean, I want to
stay there and be a part ofyour life. Of course more, he
knows what he needs is for.I' m sure that' s what

(17:18):
I' ve said many times andthat' s what keeps you being told.
You know it' s good,but it' s good, too,
every now and then you remember records, tarlo, yes, of course,
the only thing gives me. Thankyou so much for telling me Pilu
how you see me with a beard. I don' t like it.
She' s also left a barbiteand I say it' s because you
' re all bearded. And nowI say you look more handsome without a
beard with how handsome you don't come across your face. Yes,
yes, and now of course,now the relationship, for example, before

(17:42):
we talked about Christmas, no yes, now how you do the same.
We keep doing the same thing.It' s true that I don'
t see Jose at Christmas, notwhat I see and it' s a
coincidence that I' m going homeor coming to pick up. Yeah,
that' s true, as healready drives now it' s him coming
many days he picks up was brotherMira very well you know or I even

(18:02):
call him. I tell you,Jose, I have a meal, I
don' t know what came upwith something. Oh, I' ll
take the baby. He spent theday with him two or three weekends ago
I went to Madrid with some friendsand I hadn' t counted. The
boy didn' t remember me andI went back and forth in the day
and the brother picked him up inthe morning. They spent the whole day
together out there. Then I thinkit was yes. I think it was

(18:25):
a Mestalla day, which was aMestalla yes, because it ended late and

I at 11 (18:27):
30 when I returned from Madrid, yes, I passed
by José' s house, fromwhere he lives with the mother and I
picked up my son. I mean, there' s a relationship. What
I told you at the beginning notas much as I would like, of
course, but also for lack oftime, because I, at the end,
at the weekend, always mess upwhen I have the baby, that
if something familiar, that if Imake a way out with him, with

(18:48):
some friends from the college, hisgroup of friends. When I don'
t have a baby, because Istay with my friends, of course,
it' s logical to go toyoung people, man, that' s
what shared custody is for. Sure, so you can when you don'
t have it have your life thereexactly, exach of course, not stay
at that one' s house.Then the father was also on a trip,
he couldn' t and the brotherlet' s sting he hears,

(19:08):
because that' s wonderful. No, and besides, sector with his brother.
The only thing Mom sometimes says thatsucks me bothers her. Well,
like all brothers, we must bea fight. No, you don'
t fucking do it. A daggertells him to give you a kiss and
I hit him in the nettle andit was me, Hector, he did
it to me half every once ina while I say look what makes me
the tit very valid, not theceiling. Yeah, and what your stepson

(19:30):
calls you. He calls you forthe no pilu, piluca, pilupitally pilo
and with the mother he has alwayscalled me pilo already with the mother that
you said was very good relationship.Yeah, see, it' s true
that I' ve lost her alot since we got divorced. We used
to see each other from time totime I picked up the child or she
brought me as I told you,she worked in a restaurant and sometimes because

(19:51):
in a mall and she passed byand said that we eat tar and we
stayed there to eat in her restaurant, that is, that there has always
been a very good relationship. Andthe fun thing was when we divorced my
husband I that she called me,I don' t remember. If she
called me, I called her,I don' t remember what it was
like, but she told me itwas too long. That was very funny.
Welcome to me, it took youso long, he says,"

(20:14):
Hey, let' s see ifwe' re together one day, as
I say yes, yes, wheneveryou want, and then my son'
s brother Jose says you have tocome one day and eat a house that
Mom told me, and it wasreally funny because I went to eat at
his house with my son" Ofcourse I don' t know about her
and the biggest of course they wouldhave then, because fifteen sixteen years old
told me to leave something with aphoto that I' m going to send

(20:37):
to the dad who' s goingto be horrified, that he' s
going to scare himself that he knowsthat we' ve always gotten along well.
And he also had his things,because like all the separations, at
first you are always a little tense, but then he also took great with
her and then he took the picture, he also put on, in fact,
we did. Her first couple isa woman and we sent her to
her and she said my mother,my mother, because the first one,

(21:03):
the mother. Yeah, he's got a couple, too. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, and then, in the end,
it' s all together in harmony. Sure, sure, sure,
I think it' s okay andgood, they' re married and they
all didn' t have kids.Yes, but yes, yes, he
has a partner and besides, Josephalso adores her mother' s husband and
her relationship with your son is good. Or, like, she' s

(21:27):
good to see not with me.They have never been together, I mean,
being present, but I know that, as my son has been several
times at his brother' s house, yes, at the mother' s
house. Of course when the motheris there we go, I know that
they love him, that they pamperhim, that they give him things and
when he comes back from his brother' s house, ay mom from the

(21:49):
TT mom and the TTA and hetold me and not very well I know
that he has a very good relationship, but it is true that except that
day of the meal, we havenot gone back together. That, that
was the good one. Sure.I' ve ever seen him when we
went through the mall at work,he comes in to say hello and so
on, but now he' snot even there anymore. He' s
left, he' s changed hisprofessional course, and he' s not
even there anymore. So I've already lost it, I' ve

(22:11):
got it untraceable, good for movir, but in the end you get into
three things and not clear, no, no, the relationship you don'
t feel bad about a being there' s not me either clear or a
habit of staying, and there aretimes when the new son, so to
speak in the former couples, likethey feel very good about us. You

(22:32):
know then there are always times ofno there, because it is not your
brother that yes, that is brother, of course, they are brothers of
parents, but that is to sayhe is not stepbrother, without coincidence or
father or mother or brothers actually fewpeople, you know then there are times
not that, because it is no, no, they are not brothers,
they are brothers. And then thereare times that it is a focus of

(22:52):
good, of conflict of jealousy becauseperhaps, because it has not closed well
the everyone has not closed its chapterwell. It didn' t happen here.
I remember one day Toro came backfrom school crying. You are listening
to stepmothers without children and they hadgone to pick him up days before his

(23:36):
brother and his father to school,because whenever they went to pick them up
or they went to pick him upto school, they both went together.
And I remember he came crying everyday and what' s wrong with you,
he tells me I' ve beentold that the guy isn' t
my brother. I' m notgonna be your brother. They don'
t say he' s my stepbrotherI say no. No, no,
no, no, not your brother. Of course more, brother of blood

(23:56):
is that of course, the onlything that you do not share is the
mother of itself, of course,then yes and he was because they had
said because other children of the colleagueclearly who was the one that came my
brother, your brother, your motherhas says it is not of another mother,
it is not your brother, andthen he has it wrong. There,
I explained to him that it wasn' t like that. Of course
and well I understood Today he hasnever talked to me about it again.

(24:17):
I' m very clear that yourbrother. Of course, when that time
as young children can do a lotof harm with comments about it, that
is, what can hurt them.Sure, I have my core, I
' m very clear, that it' s my father and my mother and
my brother What do I know?And my brother has an exact mother,
he has another mother. I know, and this is all very stable.

(24:38):
But of course, a child arrivesin the playground of the ad school and
asks you clearly, that disassembles andthe child thinks that you may have lied
to him that of course no,yes, yes, yes, but no,
and then now the relationship is verygood, very good. He'
s got you a little bit ofsupport or whatever, if anything happens to
him, call his mother, callhis father. No, no, no,

(25:00):
it' s very independent, no, I don' t think it
' s true when we see eachother, because that' s because of
the weight bullshit, how the beardlooks. Or you' ve seen this.
I don' t know what,but it' s not very independent.
I think I' m a veryyoung man. Yeah, not even
that he doesn' t have aproblem, thank God. I don'
t work with the father, besideswhich they' re very close. Yes,
and I do sometimes go to theoffice, because for anything in the

(25:22):
suitcase in Lenedil I do not knowwhat has been left such a step through
the office and I take it clearand sometimes usually in the end it is
with the child, with the clear, but more than with his father,
lately with those things. But Idon' t think that in support of
me, you know what you haveme. But I think she' s
here before I' d talk toher mother if she had a problem with
her own father, and, well, she' s already met with friends.

(25:44):
That' s right, exactly.Yeah, yeah, but yeah,
he knows I' m here.You don' t know and your family
when you started being a stepmother,how she took it well. Yeah,
it' s true that they toldme they had a son, that is,
there' s so little. Ofcourse, I didn' t come
five years old and I did,but the truth is that he was a
darling who made himself that he wasa lot, he was super, super

(26:08):
cute, he was good, hewas and it' s but, I
mean, the time that everybody goesthrough. Yes, but it was me,
I think my family was also wonright away and in your family it
was like one more yes, andwhen it stopped what happened, it wasn
' t always with us, whenwe were with my family because of the
subject that they were touching us,it didn' t touch us, I

(26:29):
don' t know, but it' s true that since I have a
nephew of almost the same age,he' s a little bit smaller,
because it' s true that whenwe got together, they made us super
friends, we kept getting together andhe was a cousin more, I mean,
he was cousins and but there,for example, the time to ask
for the letter from the Magi allthat. He asked for the same thing
for whatever it was, he madetwo letters, but for your part he

(26:53):
received the same thing as, forexample, your son. Yeah, yeah,
yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, I' m telling you,
of course, yeah, yeah,yeah. Besides, it was them about
everything that I took care of goingto buy them. Now that you both
know, of course you do.And then, I mean, there isn
' t, because well, ofcourse here I hear everything. And then,
since the premieres, for example,imagine that everyone was given fifty euros

(27:17):
and the twenty- five stepson becauseit was like this. Oh, yeah,
yeah, no, no, no, no, no, they'
re tremendous, so what you haveto do is what Piluca does. Not
to see my family. We've never been a premiere. In my
family we have given gifts, butnot new ones. And if you'
ve given him train children when they' re little, give them two little
sureties, three little Europeans, yes, I didn' t want them to

(27:37):
tell him any more. In myex' s family, they' re
brand- new and they' vealways given the same thing. Well,
of course, they' re boththe family, too, and they'
ve always given the same thing.They have not made identifications, yes of
differences, but it is true thatHector, since very little, they gave
the same thing to the others whomight have put a hundred euros and I
said no. No, not yourHector, not the hundred euros. You
give the father that they enter thebill, I mean, but you give

(27:59):
him a neuro all the habits,of course and that he stays and that
he wants to manage it we goto the Kiosk whatever he wants, but
it didn' t seem good tome that the idea on the ticket or
the tickets and that to a childso small, of course and then and
miser, but it is for him. I say yes, but if we
' re going to admit him,he' s going to spend it on
us three years, not four,not five, not six. Sure,
sure, but it' s notlike my family was brand- new.

(28:22):
I don' t think every birthdayand everything was got you and they had
two kids. Yes, on Joseph' s birthdays, yes, it is
true that they usually made two,that is, he celebrated with his family,
with his friends or with his mother, and then he was jealous of
us and my ex' s familyHowever, with my son we do the

(28:44):
same birthday, that is, wehave always gotten along very well. Yes,
you all start with your good husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
birthdays since we got divorced, wedo them together. The brother comes and
all the friends of Hector we goto before, they were ball then they
fight him after that if they fallthe karting with their friends, the dads
of the friends and there are us, then, of course, he celebrates

(29:07):
it in a family title with hisfamily and clear family gratitude to mine,
of course, whether that means thathe celebrates it three times the child.
That' s because, my mother, it' s the same with us.
I think it happens the same inall the houses, of course parents
separated from the end, because neitherdoes he meet the babies of the school,
because it is very easy. Sure, it' s very easy or
if you don' t get alongtoo badly. You just have to be

(29:29):
there. I don' t know, I mean, that' s perfect,
but of course she has the mother, she wants to celebrate with her
family and the father and put allthat together. You say no. No,
I' m not putting all thattogether. No exact need, nothing
else. We usually do it athome. To say very clearly I in
my house say ah do a paellaor a barbecue as is Hector turns thirty
September. It usually makes good weatherwith which we can be outside barbecue for

(29:53):
her or whatever, and no onecomes from the family already. Nor is
it that he is already loaded withwatering the little gifts, already attacked with
friends. He always gets some chandal, some time of course, some little
thing he needs from Grandma, fromAuntie. And that, but little more
is not. And now your familydoesn' t see so ninety come you
don' t see it. Whenyou' ve ever seen him, my

(30:15):
mother, I say thank you.It' s quite a tone, you
don' t see it. Theypractically don' t see it and that,
in other words, they' vetaken it wrong or they don'
t know it. They didn't because they didn' t have that
much contact either. You know,normally we were trying to be with him
when they were both with us,to be with his family more than with
our family with mine. And itis true that there was more bond with

(30:37):
Reuben and my sister. But inthe end, you get in the day
to day and the days go by, and you don' t count the
kids. It' s true thatwhen I told them to get together,
I say if you don' tsee each other, then I do,
that I' m trying to makeone, even once a year look at
it and it' s hard forhim to fulfill my son to come not

(31:00):
only the brother home, nothing else, I don' t want adults,
adults in the sense, but theyare all others, yes parents and others
that come hand in hand and cousinscome, both paternal and maternal, and
together with everyone very well. Andthen it costs me. You don'
t know how to coordinate that andthere are times when I say look no
matter, because two fail, becausewe do it the same. Yeah,
because if you don' t,you never do it again. You wait
to have the perfect, exact calendar, and I' ve been doing it

(31:22):
for you two or three years.And the truth is that phenomenal and it
says that you also see how theyare a pineapple all. Rubén is the
one who stayed a little further away, who is the only cousin on the
maternal side, yes, but ofcourse he disappears a little bit from that
group, although he knows them allfrom little to little, but he stayed
a little further away. Of course, they meet more as a family and
Hector is happy with everyone, ofcourse and when they come home, he

(31:45):
gets as happy as when you tellhim that you let him have a sleepover
with friends, because just as happyhe gets with his hurry, of course
and his brother. And when youstarted that is you, when you started
going out with your ex- you, you call yourself mistress you go to
yourself stepmother or I say I'm Jose' s stepmother, not not

(32:05):
that I said I' m Dad' s girlfriend or as if after joking,
yes, that I told her aboutstepmother, but you know what happens,
that the word stepmother is ugly,because my job is that it'
s pretty, because listen, Ican' t help you much, because
not in the sense that I,when I used it, was a plan
of baldness. Deo to tell youI' m missing the wart with hairs.
I mean, yeah, I'm gonna punish you. Yeah,
yeah, I' m gonna makeyou an exact curse. But that,

(32:29):
that' s a lot to blamefor Disney. Yeah, it' s
all her fault. Disney is avery nice role. I remember a very
nice phrase that Elena Elena Elenas,José' s mother, told me shortly
after we separated, that you toldme you were another mother of my son,
that is, and I know thatyou have been there as a clearer
mother and then that came to mebecause it' s true. I also,

(32:51):
I love him, I have lovedhim very much and he will always
have me there clear and I alwayswhen they tell me, sometimes I speak
that I have two children, althoughhe talks about little when they reach this
age, nor the mothers themselves seethem It is not clear that now it
is a thing of age, butit is true that you have been part
of his parenting life, you willtotally be part of his life, but

(33:13):
of the upbringing also of education.In the end, when they live with
you, you don' t haveit in a rented room, that is,
it makes life and you love him, because you love your partner you
also take love to the child,that is, you have children that this
is so. Sure. That's why my job is because I see
what it is. It' sa very nice love story. Really because
you could have said look. Idon' t get into this garden and

(33:35):
I just want people without kids,I mean, I don' t have
to meet people like that, uh, of course he' s decided no,
he doesn' t have any kids. I don' t want to.
Yeah, sure, well, I' m the same at this point,
I think clearly good not to repeat, I mean, I wouldn'
t repeat. Not this story wouldrepeat it a thousand times, but at
this age I do not want toraise again, that is now that I
start to have my servant clear andI now start to live, I start

(33:58):
to live again. Yeah, butout there the fact just like maybe you
wouldn' t be a mother,that is, clear opposite, I no
longer, of course, and nowagain I have to mess with that or.
Now I wouldn' t come back, I wouldn' t come back,
of course, I did. Ehde dete, Héctor, that even
José mis mecia we had so fastwith another I say, because this has
been a nine I invite that youare telling me clearly and maybe you try

(34:21):
and it is within no no thatI had already stood up at an age
that could not, of course itis crazy, but not now I tried
if I know someone one day Ihave a couple that do not have children,
small children that I want yes,but like mine at least and from
when of twelve fourteen, already theymake more life, already they let you
a little live it clearly yes thatyou have them and have more independence.

(34:45):
And if now a friend tells youI' ve met a boy who has
a three- year- old orfour- year- old who you would
advise her to be her with thekid is that many times I think that
we put ourselves in a position orput in a position that' s not

(35:06):
the right one at all. Imean, you have to do it yourself
with the kid And it was easywith Jose. It will also depend a
lot on how the person is andhow the child is. Of course,
Jose was a very easy- to- wear kid, because he was loving,
he was super cute and I tellyou our first kiss was for him
that he would have arrived, buthe speeded him up and made it so

(35:28):
easy for me. It was impossiblenot to love that child, even if
then we had our more and ourless. What would you advise, for
you would like me to treat youas if you were your own child,
because, at the end of theday, you will live with him and
he will be an example to followfrom that child. Sure, then yes,
because in the end they do whatthey see in adults and even if
they have a stepmother, a mother, a father, a stepfather, they

(35:52):
are their four examples to follow.If you have all four, as Joseph
had all four, of course,yes, yes, he had a very
good relationship with his father, hismother' s husband, and very good
reason with me what phenomenal you wouldn' t tell him, run another direction.
Now, my friends, I've got it, so just today,

(36:13):
yes, today, yes, today, yes, 15 years ago,
20 years ago, not anymore,but today you do hear part of our
age, you already say laziness thatage. I' m not sure there
' s a lot of them.Oh, yeah, it' s true
that maybe now everyone has to bemore or less raised, but more or
less. Yes, I' mone of the ones with the smallest child
in my gang, of course,with all the years I' ve had

(36:37):
a hard time getting it logical,of course, yes, but more or
less, all the countries have kidsalready 20 years old, of course up
you saw older, even older.Of course, that' s ticking your
time. Hey,' cause we' re great. But all of a
sudden you say if this kid isyour son, you' re so into
college, how can it be.And they' re already working and I
' m finished with the race andI' m already in the group We

(37:01):
' ve got everything I don't know. I think it' s
just that your story is super cool. It reminds me a lot of mine
too, because in my case,my stepson is also adorable. Then it
' s very easy that they domore to you. It' s very
easy if you meet an insolent childwho has them clear, rude, insolent,
oysters are there on a good roll, on a hill. Sure,

(37:22):
I understand it has to cost,but come on, it made it very
easy for me. There too,the role of the mother is very important.
Yes, yes, of course,yes, it' s all the
time wrong to get prejudice into youclearly, of course, in the end
the child says oysters what I haveto do. I' ve been told
this is a witch, but it' s super but it' s a
love. But then there is alot of trouble. But yes, the

(37:43):
relationship is normal within it there's always so you' ve separated by
something I mean there' s alwayssomething, but if the relationship is more
or less good. That' swhy me and what I told you about
changing the meaning of the word stepmother, because everyone is a stepmother, bad,
clear, and for me, beinga stepmother is love, because you
don' t have to put upwith that child, and you don'

(38:05):
t have to want to. Imean, you have it out of love
and you do it out of lovefor your partner and, of course,
the child. Sure, and thenyou start loving your partner, you find
out about the kid, and youeducate him because you love him, because
you' d say that. Look, you say this part of your husband
or your exact partner and form afamily all of a sudden, one family
you were, the three of youuntil your son arrived who you want four.
Sure, right now, but wetook a long time for us to

(38:29):
get married and it took many yearsfor us to get married, and he
was also super happy. When wetold him we were getting married, I
told us the rings. Yeah,he was smaller. Then we got the
rings. But of course, andthe truth is, yes. There has
always been a very good relationship athome with him, very good, because
as we were married very recently andhe was already older. We don'

(38:50):
t ride any more wearing the rings, or anything, not older. It
' s hard to say when wecomplain, because we do nothing and when
we go out he finally yells ateveryone. Well congratulations such and the at
last. But if it really doesn' t matter, that is, our
day to day, it keeps followingthe same thing, but finally at last,
then it' s a situation,that is, it' s very

(39:12):
similar. You know I' vedone it. Thank you very much.
Of course, I think that myrelationship with Joseph, with the child is
there has been continuity, although notin the amount that we have talked about
before that I would like, butthere has been continuity thanks to the fact
that I have a son, becauseif I had not had a son with

(39:35):
his father, possibly and there isno longer any content with the father,
nor contenuity with any of them,of course, then I believe that thanks
to my son I continue to seemy trail, which is also an ugly
word, but it is the onethat I am eating to Joseph and there
is still a clear relationship. Ifit wasn' t for that I would
surely have lost it completely and maybeyou' d see it once a year,

(39:57):
or even that a whatsapp of what? Such good or not? It
is clear because, moreover, whenwe separated the child had no clear motive,
then it was clear and I wouldhave had no more bond with his
father, we would have had nothingto deal with. You were paid at
that point. Then my son wasalso the one who allowed that Union to
continue to attend. Sure, that' s important. Also, man,

(40:20):
it' s really cool, Imean, it' s really nice that
whole story you' re telling us. That is why, because there is
a child, a happy stepchild withhis mother, his father, his stepmother
and his stepfather who also has ason with whom he understands the whole situation
perfectly and, in the end,they are different types of family, but

(40:40):
what matters that I love you,you love me already that they are as
valid as any other. Of courseand the important thing is that there is
love in the family and that thereis respect and that everyone looks good.
If the advantage is that we allget along clearly that I now meet Joseph
' s mother and we hug her, we give her two kisses and we
call each other, that is,we get along super well. It happens
that we have no relationship anymore,but and with the child, super well

(41:05):
and clear there is no tension thatthere are times when a nex and or
a father and his ex or,whatever, they come together, there are
children who stay, as well asmaemia that will happen here in your case,
not because no no no that infact, I have lived in my
own blood what my good me inwhat it is to have my partner have
a partner, that is my ex- husband, I have a couple and

(41:29):
that my son had to go home. Then of course my son suddenly had
a stepmother for a while. Yesand that and that and I understood very
much about elena, yes and there' s who. That' s how
you' re going to treat myson is the good people. You don
' t give to people I don' t know what. And well,
the truth is that it' sa relationship that of me is husband,
that lasted little and that my songrows more. At first I said more,

(41:51):
but nice how pretty, I knowwhat I say I' m going
very clearly. If the kid comesin talking well, it' s fantastic.
It lasted little at three months.I can' t remember it anymore,
and I' ll take it.He doesn' t listen to me.
I don' t know what Momwas saying, you can talk to
Dad. I went back to thedirty clothes, I say all the dirty
clothes. I didn' t sendit all week and I say nothing happens.
I' ll do it myself andtalk to Dad Dio, I don

(42:13):
' t talk to Dad about thesethings. I mean, it' s
his problem. It' s hisproblem, of course, I say yes,
he' ll treat you badly atsome point when something happens, of
course I want to talk to yourfather, but that' s not the
case. I mean, it happensto me that the relationship has deteriorated.
Immediately, no, no fruit,did not follow and clearly the child noticed
and noticed nothing that already said,because I will not wash his clothes anymore,
but it was for the father,not for the child, of course,

(42:34):
and in fact, they separated immediatelyalready, but it is true that
also and it is a lot inthe part of the parents that he has
to wash the clothes of his sonto be a father. Yes, daughter,
yes, but of course not soit' s clear, but of
course she said maybe I' mnot here to care for a child for
an exact 24 hours you see maybe. She loved her clothes and said the

(42:58):
one about the boy who gave me, but I made it good, sure,
sure, yeah, yeah. Metoo, that is because obviously it
' s the joke, this isa family and it does. In fact
it is managed already and today asthe madra and tomorrow you make it clear
who can exactly, yes, yes, yes, but of course. That
' s why there are times whenit' s not like the stepmother or
this girl who' s come innow with the father, I don'

(43:19):
t know what. Because the fatheris the father and he has to do
it and he also has to takeresponsibility that the person who gets into the
house is a person who will treathis son well and come to you a
little. That' s him personaand this girl was a girl I got
to know and well very vegetate.The thing is, well, the relationship
didn' t work out and theyleft it right away and it' s
already gone. But I was sayingI was mad at me. Poor thing,

(43:43):
he says and I tell him they' ll learn me. He tells
me to do it to me andI say meja boy is that you'
re already eleven, you' renot ten years old and you can'
t get up and make yourself asandwic or take teat a banana, so
you need the girl to be there. Of course, they suddenly start sending
you as the child, too.You' re starting to get sent by
people you say, they' resending me a snack, they' re
telling me my mom or dad,or maybe a stepmother who' s been

(44:06):
with me for ten years, yeah, but suddenly there was someone else.
You mean, it doesn' twork for me. Of course, I
' d rather have it done asa child. It' s just that
I don' t do it tohim. Of course, it' s
just that I make it clear toyou that that' s like the family
dynamics that you suddenly have someone elsewho comes in a little bit. Not
well you know or very much thebeast. All of a sudden this lady

(44:30):
says because she' s sending meto make me a sandwich. You know,
I complain, he doesn' tmake me a snack, and then
you say man thinking well, too, maybe he told you maybe the woman
was doing anything else and she sayschi how much you did? Sure,
listen, you do it in someexact milk, that is, a hundred
handymen and they can make things.And besides, it' s good that
if they' re going to bemaking it, we' re making fools.
But it' s true that italso depends on who tells you and

(44:52):
it depends on why there' sa lot there, there' s a
lot of things, all of asudden, there' s a lot of
exact elements, of course, ofcourse, and then when, but your
ex- husband told you I havea partner or not, suddenly yes,
yes, yes. He called me, he told me, he told me.
I wanted him to know nothing,which is that I have a partner
and they know he was going toturn home and I say already, I

(45:14):
say look how we took very shortalso to go to see to save together
and he says yes yes, Idon' t know what I say it
is worth, because nothing phenomenal andI how will it be? What will
it be like? And with Elenayou got to talk about this situation.
I didn' t understand you rightnow. Or no, no, no,
no, I got to talk aboutit. The truth is, I
didn' t get there with thatfood. Or I remember. Besides,
I think the first day I knewElena, physically it was a day I

(45:37):
had not that I had to bringthe child and I was home and the
father had not arrived. Then hecalled me. The father tells me he
' s going to Elena to takeyou to the baby that came up to
him. I don' t knowwhat and he brings it to us.
I say mamale okay I say Iwas more nervous to meet the kid'
s mother and I remember I camedown and already came with him with the

(46:00):
baby and a tupper and I callmyself the tape. I' m saying
this is the palacena in baby sayshe makes you a broth. You know
for some noodles, I mean yes, but no, I mean yes,
yes, he gets noodles, Isay nothing, I think, of course,
but he didn' t know whohe was going to meet anymore.
And besides, I' m alot older than her. I didn'
t know who he was going tomeet anymore. And of course, he

(46:22):
said I don' t know.This girl will know how to make dinner
except the boy who has a plateof noodles and then I' ll make
her an omelette or something. Bringme the beaten egg, already beaten to
make the tortilla. But, well, it was that first time I understood
her perfectly, too. I didn' t know who I was leaving with
anymore. She had to rely fullyon her ex- husband, since the
person she was leaving her son incharge of was running and the wife said

(46:45):
I was carrying the Caldito. Iknow my son is going to have a
good dinner, the Caldito is doingso allows many thanks. You know how
to make noodles. I say yes. That' s where we get to
more and you say you' reolder. Obviously, more we go to
her at least ten years, soyes I am much older than her.
And then after that delivery, thenyou call nothing. Then already for very

(47:07):
functional people who knew how to putvideos you know yes well. Besides,
there was even an event that wewere all family that was the Communion of
Nne O, clearly not, andI with her has always been very well
with me. Or that yes,Mother and Communion well role in Communion,
that is, in my Communion wealso did the same. Not my role

(47:30):
in Communion with his father, thatwell, I don' t remember very
well that he does a lot.I do not remember very well if in
the end the parents sat together orwe sat for families more, yes,
we sat for families and the childrenat was a table as we did in
my communion. Yes, it wasgood for me, we didn' t
do the same, but more forfamilies than for us. But I eat
with mix every now and then Icouldn' t do anything and when we

(47:52):
have to deal with something of thekid, and that, well, we
stayed, we talked well, homeI tell him you want a beers person
to throw us so quiet. Hh In fact, you don' t
know what has helped me in thenew house in a thousand things that well,
since putting things in the house andmaking holes remove weeds from the garden

(48:13):
piece, i e I' vedone a thousand things, putting curtains on
that well, yeah, yeah,it helps me a lot I mean,
for your son it has to bea good thing to see that he can
come home to see the dad helpingyou. Of course, another Mania and
quarrel not, no, quite thecontrary, quite the opposite and our community
more equal. He sat with hisfamily at a table, I with mine
at a table and the children ata clearing for him child enjoy his day

(48:35):
and the child is better with hisfriends than when we did when we were
little sitting there with the parents.Yeah, and it was boring. Of
course, no, I don't know common, that is also the
family, it is a family andanother, but all together oyanter salon at
a table that you pass it,then they start to run already and it
is already accurate and all wonderful.That' s good, and now your

(48:58):
stepson, in the future I'm getting married I' m going there,
very good thing invite me, I' m going, of course,
of course, of course, that' s what I wanted to know,
man, I don' t thinkI' ve left myself up, no,
but I' d invite you,sure. Yeah, if you'
d say, sure, of course. Of course, the first one there
like the one that goes. Idon' t know where I' d

(49:20):
think, but I was going.Or is it really a ta stepmother relationship
one thing is, well, theone you had with your ex is o.
It didn' t come to anything, nor did we give him the
exact title of Madras, I don' t command it, he didn'
t win it, but of course, when you' ve been so long,
of course, you' re alreadypart of that person' s life.
Yeah, plus, I' vethought about it a lot. I

(49:43):
say oysters, so when she getsmarried I want to be there. I
' ll be clear, of course, not anymore. I happen to be
that you know the age of twenty- two, that many times I tell
him good and girlfriend that I knowclearly, I don' t have,
I don' t have. Ihave a desire that I say the day
I beat you I see them say. I want to see her, I
want to meet her and you comehome, to have dinner with her at
home and I' m going toshow her pictures that make you pass cocky

(50:05):
ah yes, yes, yes,good. Of course we don' t
have it, we can clearly clearhow good. Hey, Piluca, thank
you so much for stopping by theKingdom. I loved it. I love
your story. We want to knowmore when time is passing, when you
go to the breast at home wewant to see if what fil you'
ve been to at which table.Everything there, but where exactly did it
sit, but knowing what you're going to be? I love that

(50:27):
being with him all the way.Of course I do. What. Well,
nothing. Thank you so much forstopping by the king, thank you
very much. We' ll seethe next one. Thank you very much.
Come to you You have heard Motherrastraswithout children, subscribe and share this

(50:49):
Kingdom so that it will be evergreater, the Kingdom of all