2x05 | Pri dos Santos, Somos Madrastras

Una conversación madrastrica, como dice ella, que es una delicia. Profesional del balonmano, al que empezó a jugar en Brasil porque daban galletas. Y así, jugando, llegó a España, se enamoró del que ahora es su marido. De él y de su hijastra. Ahora es madre también y ha creado en España Somos Madrastras, una plataforma de acompañamiento a todas nosotras, las madrastras. Es corazón puro. 
¡Bienvenida al reino, Pri!

Conviértete en un seguidor de este podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/madrastra-sin-hijos--5829144/support.

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Madrastras without children, a podcast ofclear mountains or welcome to the Holy Prido

(00:37):
Kingdom as well. Thank you verymuch, very pleased to be here.
Thank you for opening this kingdom.Not for me too he hears thank you
so much for coming, because youcome from far away. I think she
' s the person who comes fromfurther away, because we had a girl
who lives in Germany, but shewas here to see the family. I
mean, it was circumstantial. Butyou came here on purpose I really appreciate

(00:58):
Bennido for recording the podcast, andI' m really looking forward to having
that conversation with you and seeing whatcomes out of here, from this madrastric
conversation. Total. Totally, well. You go we always start at the
beginning and today I want us tostart at the beginning of the principles.
But first let' s say thatyou' re the captain of and we
' re stepmothers. But then youtell us well, like the whole story,

(01:23):
then let' s go to whatI said at the beginning of the
principles. You' re not.You' re not born in Spain.
You don' t notice a littlebit from the accent tell us how you
end up here is worth so Brazilian. It all starts with the handball.
Not because he' s coming toSpain to play handball. Check to see
there, there begins my life inSpain, but my life begins in the

(01:47):
Balomano and my city, in myvillage, in Bargia. Then I didn
' t start the Balomano, simplybecause I liked it, but in the
town hall of my city we doget good. A friend told me pri
Mira that I loved cookies, asI told you before, and my mother
had no money to buy. Imean. I mean, I curled up
other things, which was the mainmeal of the day. And I remember

(02:12):
this friend told me pri Mira.I' ve heard that the City Council
now has a project for children todo sports and not be on the street
and not using drugs. And this, then, is what they' re
going to give cookies and tokens forso we can play sports. I have
signed up for Balou Mano and Ilike very much you want to come and
I, of course, I meanson juice cookies, because I sign my

(02:35):
cookies, I want to be here. I don' t care and I
had about ten years, but I' ve never tried the baloman. So,
as she told me this at school, chance arose to test the sport
for the human bullet in school.Yeah, and I loved it, I
mean, I started playing. Forme to make gool with my hands.
It was like a pass, Imean, I don' t know why.

(02:57):
I haven' t tried it beforeand of course I was left-
handed and tall. Then it caughtattention. It was easier to say to
attack, because for the person whodefended me, if I was right,
it cost him more. Then Istarted playing for the cookies and just happened
to start on the project. Allof a sudden, the city takes the

(03:20):
cookies off. Then I got reallyfrustrated, but I already liked sports.
Then I went on, you werealready hooked, I was already thinking and
that' s where my life started, because I realize that the sport is
taking me very far. Then hestarted to stand out in my city and
then in the province and then hestarted playing in the province selection and traveling
a lot in Brazil and I seea great opportunity to do, for example,

(03:44):
a race. Then you study therapyin Brazil. Also that to me
it is something that in my family, that is to say I saw it
I had no reference whatsoever, thatis, no family of mine had completed
a career and a university. Andalso that now he has reminded me that
my stepmother, like I was fromCastro. My stepmother was also the first

(04:05):
person I saw not being formed andin a career was pedagogue yes and to
be able to see this achievement,to see there studying, to be able
to see in this process for mewas a very important reference. So she
was telling me a lot about studyingwhat was important, you were telling me

(04:25):
to play, but you have tostudy, because the Balumano is going to
be a passenger, so you're not going to play all your life.
Then I made the race. Ididn' t finish it. It
was five or years of grade,but right in the last year I realized
that reconciling sport with college cost mea lot and I thought and well,
now is the time to take anotherstep, that that was Europe, not
because many people already told me tocome and play. Yeah, then I

(04:49):
' m going to Poland. Icame up with a chance. There I
go without the English, without Polesor anything super mother of mine, I
' m going for Handball. Yes, and it was a brutal experience because
I gave him a city called Keltze, which there the Balomon is very strong.
Then there' s a team playingChemponsleague, the male. So,

(05:11):
I saw a coach who had alreadyreeded Champions Leagues several times and who was
training and who was there by myside. No, but the team that
I was was a team that hadjust gone up to the first division.
Then I get there like a Brazilianstar, not like it looks like Brazil,
good in the city of Handball,and then they greet me super well.

(05:34):
I had that belief that there peopleare colder and I haven' t
seen and I' m seen thatpeople have really received me super well.
I learned English because it didn't touch me, I mean, I
didn' t have another other thing, of course, and I learned a
little bit from Polish. It wasalso very enriching in that sense and then

(05:56):
I wanted to sign up for anotherteam. There I didn' t have
the opportunity and I came up withthe opportunity to come to Spain to play
in beravel Then I was told thatit was the best team in Spain and
I put good why I don't look at the city San Sebastián,
that is, pincho, the perfectastronomy, because it is already there,
but as soon as I get thereI hurt myself, that is, first

(06:17):
week they do an exercise in thegym. I mentioned and it was like
wow I mean, I was there, like coming up clear, trying to
get to where I wanted and allof a sudden, an injury, an
injury and a country I don't know. He didn' t speak
any Spanish. When I read here, people said calmly, that Spanish you
are going to learn super fast,because Portuguese Spanish looks like a quarter and
I, that is, four monthshere I didn' t know anything.

(06:40):
You know how please, and thenI kept training. Well, I kept
training, I' d already injured, but I was passionate about a malism
phase, as I told you,I was injured by myself. I knew
practically no one apart too and thatin the rehabitation part I had a very

(07:02):
bad time because I had no professionalsupport, that is, from the team.
I felt a little lacking in this. So I put in Google,
that is to say I invest no, because if I don' t have
realization, I have to invest inthat of course, because my fear was

(07:23):
to spend the season and then staymy team or have to stop playing for
the slesion. So I put inGoogle rehab or sportsman or whatever, and
it comes out to me that he' s my husband now and well I
got there was how it was veryfunny, because I don' t know,

(07:44):
I mean, I don' tbelieve much without romantic movies. I
' d comment on Netflix. Idon' t believe any of this,
but this day he went through anarrow that was brutal, that is,
the first time I saw him butof course he gave me a little respect,
because Sergio is older than me.We' re going to cadi that
fifteen years of difference. Then inmy head he gave me, as a
matter of fact, since Sergio alreadyhad a partner or he was married.

(08:07):
What I know yes and apart alsothat I was going or what I was
going to recover. That one wasfocused, too. Then he spends some
time talking to him and I rememberone day he told me super motivated,
I mean, I' m goingtalking here. Yeah, yeah, sure,
yeah, yeah, perfect whatever youwant, but yeah, yeah,
yeah. Then we go down thiswhole thing, I run it down.

(08:28):
But don' t worry what I' m going to see. So,
Sergio restored you well, very well, the important focus. That first thing
I got was efficiency. He workedvery well and one day he tells me
how sorry I have to go outfive minutes before I' m going to

(08:48):
eat with my daughter and I'm very happy and I think I'
m weird not to mean, thathe' s so happy, but with
his daughter something I mean, somethingfor me not, no, no good,
yes, and then I ask himwhy he was so happy and he
tells me that he was divorced andthat he had a three- year-
old girl. And then for meit was like he' s divorced,
I mean, I got a chanceto date him. No, and there

(09:11):
I started to give more openness toothat I was interested and so was he.
We started making plans together and itwas very nice that process because to
know, I mean, I imagineI was injured, I got Sebastian,
I was alone and then there aremany mountains. I don' t love
going up the mountain and telling Sergio. He also likes it very much,
and the other plans were to walkthree, four or five hours. Then

(09:35):
we talked a lot of time,of course, and we made a route
out of Zumaya, which is atown that is there in the north towards
the must that is five or sixhours walking. I mean, we'
ve talked a lot about this day. Of course, I remember that I
was already tired of my social drums, I couldn' t stand them anymore

(09:56):
and I really liked their maturity.Things he' s told me about his
life are him or there. Ithink she was going more than connection,
not because the potion was before andthen it was there toon I think that
that was, I mean, I' m already there and I really passed
our story. And then, well, I' m still focused on handball,

(10:22):
you recovered and you could play.If I could play, I played
again. And of course and she' s another too because I was already
with Sergio. I met my stepdaughter, who' s from Ellis, who
' s three years old. Well, he was three years old and now
he' s gonna turn nine.And it was, as you know,
the falling in love. I lovekids. Well, there' s nothing

(10:45):
wrong with her having children. Itwas all very nice and time went by.
Then I was like having the mixedfeelings that many more races commented that
it is a challenge to me.It was a very big challenge and a
very lonely one, because I didn' t know any clear stepmothers. And
that' s like I was herelike a very in love high and then

(11:09):
I started to come down living realitya little and seeing things that cost me.
Not that everything is not so easy, neither so proto nor so clear.
It wasn' t just love oflove. Sodo is not clear.
Then I realized that I had tohave uncomfortable conversations, I had to express
my emotions, I had to setlimits and I didn' t know how

(11:31):
to do it. Anyway, thenI keep following the branch a little bit.
I took a lot of love withhim. It' s a lot.
I' ve been rehabilitated and I' ve said forget the handball.
I mean, now I feel thatright now I want to stay here,
I want to build my family,and that' s all I want to

(11:54):
say. There was me, Sergiositting in a movie. I represent him
by saying you' re pricela andI do want to make you a proposal
here Now a team came up inLanzarote and I would like to and told
me the super interesting proposal. Yeah, and I don' t. Thank
you very much and blame oyster thenserge, tell me who it was and
tell me and tell me but itis Lanzarote and what they told you then

(12:18):
started to tell the proposal and tellsme, Love, you have to go
and I don' t. Please, not again, and of course,
I already had a lot of affectionfor them. Sure and what happens then
it was like, I do whyI don' t want to be away
from my husband and you' renot far from the girl either. And
I remember that there I started toquestion a lot about this relationship of stepmother

(12:41):
stepdaughter will be that I can reallywant this point there while the doubt and
relationship to my professional life, whetherit is worth it or not you know
how I felt a lot of guiltfor feeling that because I wasn' t
their mother already notice, of courseit' s like all the things that
we think all mothers happen that don' t have why you know that there

(13:03):
are mothers who have their professional careervery clear and their daughter go for it
and they go for it and it' s not that they love them less,
but they love them otherwise. Butthere was also a romanticized belief that
the mother loves very much and Ican' t want to like that of
course I' m not her mother. How can I love a person like
that if I' m not hisexact mother, because it' s that
also, that is, the goodthing about telling our stories is that people

(13:26):
see mostly stepmothers see that of courseyou can love it' s like you
have an adopted child. You don' t want it, you want it
like it' s yours I wantit like it' s mine. But
I' m very clear. Idon' t want to be her mother
or you' re being a motheror me. My place is this and
my place is full of love formy jastro and it' s an amplified
love. You know what it's worth. You have his father,

(13:48):
he has his mother and he hasme and he also has a stepfather,
which means he has love for four. That, that has a lot of
love, of course, and then, with that panorama, that' s
what you' re going through there. That' s me and I'
m excited because I get there thesuper nice girls. He deserves to see
the beautiful island super well. BuahI mean I' m happy in this

(14:09):
part, yes, but every time, I mean, every week I'
m adapting there, I miss mystepdaughter so much, I miss Sergio so
much, too, that I knowI' m going to see I'
m going to get a little bitof what I miss, but it was
something I didn' t know howto play. I mean, it was
something that scared me to look atthis part of the day You know,

(14:33):
and I let the time pass andI remember we were talking on a phone
call. Sergio called me his mother. She also called me to talk to
her and I was super happy andshe saw a picture of her, notice
that I didn' t have theidea because sometimes, since I wasn'
t a mother, I still wondereda lot when Sergio got a picture of

(14:54):
her that got super happy and whenI got a picture of her, I
was happy to be away and missher and I kept playing. But I
kind of keep this one I wantto take root. Then it' s
my senior year. I' vegiven my best I enjoyed very much,
I mean, I' ve alsomanaged to prove to myself that an injury

(15:15):
was not going to stop me.Then I got to play very well again,
of course, but I didn't want to anymore. Then I
went back to Donosti and that's where my life begins with the project.
Also when we' re stepmothers.Yeah, and start all that adventure,
my mother, what a story,but it' s that good.
Now we' re going to pullall the centuries, because when you started

(15:37):
playing handball, how old, whenyou signed up for cookies was. I
think eleven years or so twelve yearsis super small. I really did get
six years I went to live inanother city alone for six reals. He
proposed to me the team. Sixreals is equal to twenty euros. It
may be oysters and I also remembereating the same eggs every day, but

(16:00):
I wanted it to be very clear. I mean, the handball, I
really enjoyed it. I liked playinga lot, but I' ve seen
as more of a chance to achievea career, to meet people, to
travel. I mean, for me, a lot of people would tell me

(16:21):
you' re left- handed,you' re good. I played very
well, but I didn' tenjoy so much just for handball love.
I had as many goals to improvea family situation. My mother, the
divorced mother, I believe myself practicallyalone, with no pension, nothing.
Then my idea was to change thehistory of my family a little and the

(16:42):
handball trained me as a person theneconomically, professionally and also socially. Of
course, the people I' vemet also contributed a lot to me,
like the Balohuman opened up to youall the possibilities you wouldn' t have
had otherwise is that sport also encouragesso many things. Sport, that is,

(17:03):
that boys and girls practice sports,you get into a team. Yesterday
with my coach, we were talkingabout learning to be more disciplined because they
have to reach an hour of training. They' re part of a team.
No one' s waiting for youis accurate. You have to organize
well, because when you' reolder, you have to study and,
besides, you have to go totraining. Then you can' t be

(17:25):
getting dizzy. You have an exactcommitment. I have this time for this,
I have for this and then yousee all the possibilities that in the
end it is not only to stayin the handball or the sport that is
in your city, but you saythat I can travel, I can know,
maybe in our case, the ValencianCommunity, or I can know the
country or I can go outside.That' s it, that' s

(17:45):
it, and for me, ifit wasn' t the balomal, I
don' t mean, I'm clear who wouldn' t have a
chance, that is, me andmy mother weren' t clear about studying
a career. I don' tknow if I would get it, because
really, I mean, it wasn' t a poor family, but we
didn' t have the conditions tomake way, i e, the fight
of life. It was nothing elsefor us. I mean, they were

(18:07):
very simple, but we were veryhappy. There was also a lot of
love. Then I also believed thatall those values that I had my family,
my upbringing, having a lot ofpeople, that is, my mother,
has seven sisters, then growing upthere with those women that also had
a daughter, of course they aremy cousins and I have seen the girls
grow up For me it was verynice and that was what pushed me.

(18:29):
Not then, my family always supportedme in all my lived decisions and you
told us that you had a stepmother, that you have a stepmother, tell
us that prehistory of yours, thatis, before you were a stepmother,
the stepmother you had lived with youlived with your mother, with your father
they separated when you were little,or how it was worth my parents separated.

(18:52):
I was six years old and well, my mother went on with her
life, that' s the divorcepart. My mother also grew up a
lot in that regard, because shehad a really bad time. Then I
saw my mother separating from my father, like I was very sorry, because
no friend of mine had separated parentsat the time. But it' s

(19:15):
been a while, like, ayear or so. I think I'
ve seen my mother is super happydoing courses, studying or dating friends.
And for me then there I kindof saw the reason for the divorce,
the importance it had for her atthe time. Sure, then my father
had another family. Meet my stepmotherand there were several of them living in

(19:37):
the city. Then they changed andso, but when I met him,
I mean, I saw him awoman like that, it was also like
a crush, I mean, Isaw her, I remember she was black
with green eyes, a smile,beautiful. You' re listening to childless

(20:18):
stepmothers and pedagogue. Then I waseight years old and perfect, perfect clear
and very well with her, veryhappy and she, that is, my
father in that aspect of fatherhood wasalways very absent. I mean, I
don' t judge him because Ialso know a little bit about his story,
but I do recognize that I hada bad time, because I felt

(20:38):
my father very distant, of course, but after he started being with my
stepmother, he was more present,he called me more times, sometimes there
was some money going on and thenI understood that it was her who was
behind doing this part, doing ittrying that Union. That' s not
very good. And then I knowhim and my stepmother then, like I
told you, I didn' tstudy a woman. I saw him wet

(21:02):
intelligent, communicative and I took alot of love with her, but I
saw them very little, I mean, I thought I saw it the same
once a month or so. Andthen, when I started playing Palomon,
here I go to another city thatstarted living near them and then there,
every weekend, I go to theirhouse and I remember setting up a room.
It' s your house for me. I want you to see that

(21:25):
comes from the house that' snot your house, that' s not
your official house, the stepmother orstepfather that should be the father or mother,
but, well, have your space. Yeah, it' s just
that that' s for me itwas like very cozy, very necessary this
and I saw already very active,as I was very clear what I had

(21:47):
wanted to transmit to me you knowthen you have your room, you can
whenever you want, you can callme when I need. I was very
sorry about this then, of course. I never imagined that one day I
would be a stepmother, I mean, I would never think that it was
cool to have a stepmother like that, because one day, if one day
I' m a stepmother, Idon' t mean, I didn'

(22:08):
t imagine and even if it wasme calling him, I mean, it
was my stepmother, I mean,that' s what you plan for,
it' s my mom, youput the Madrastras label on her. Yeah,
that was called Root, which washis name. Yeah, and but
you were saying to my friends,to you at my mom' s house
and I was with my stepmother andwe were out shopping, I mean,
we were having a great time.And also another thing that I realized recently,

(22:29):
that was because I work like dredges. There' s also a lot
of this ay the kid tells methat I don' t know how you
' re not my mother or thatthing we take personally or not. That
is, if the child is tellingme really to hurt me or because his
mother has told him and behaviors wesee that it is really difficult for the

(22:52):
children to locate themselves. No,and I remember that my mother never said
anything wrong about my stepmother, butand my mother knows a little bit about
my mother, yes, but Iremember that when I had a good time
with her, with Ruth, whileyou' re going with that doubt it
' s how I can love hertoo, but for not being able to

(23:12):
have a reference, or not beingable to see two women who are maternal
in the same space, not asin my life. And then I kind
of got stuck in the doubt andI know that I was changing my behavior,
like I was closing down a littlebit more, but not because my
mother had told me something, itwas because I was afraid my mother would
find out wrong, not because Ididn' t see a situation like that.

(23:33):
Yeah, it' s like loyalties, not if I' m having
a good time with my stepmother.I' m being disloyal to my mother.
That' s it and a motherwho wants what' s best for
her daughter. The perfect thing isthat with your mother astra you have fun
for that. But of course itis true that, as it is not
usually said about this. We don' t have references, we don'
t know what I' m doingright, we also want to do everything

(23:56):
right, which is also a bitof a component that we can' t
see being the perfect girls always.But, of course, this is what
this is all about. It's another melon. But of course it
' s funny that, being phenomenalwith your stepmother, suddenly there would be
a knob that is and my mothernever, I mean, I have no
memories of saying anything, but Ithink that' s what I always say,

(24:18):
not the movies, the scenes thatI' ve seen of hysterical women
fighting for their space. So forme it was a little in the unconscious,
because, by surprise, all thosemovies are told by men. Oh,
what a surprise, what a truth. Then the director is man and
the writers are men, and thenthey choose the world. But it'
s not the real world among womenthat it' s always that women get

(24:38):
away with it and two women togetherfight. I remember nothing. The stern
of women, of women you know. I remember a boss that we were
all in an agency, all women, and he told me once I'
m not going to hire more women, because you' re very troublesome look
good Maybe you' re a badboss who doesn' t care whether we
' re women or men. It' s just that you don' t
know how to lead this because it' s group s s s s sure,

(25:00):
so it' s always as clear, because in fact, rest for
them we' re the hysterics thatright away. We set up a number.
No, no, because right awayI never. For example, the
podcast that is focused on women andthat most have interviewed women. You can
' t be more loving You've come from far away. I mean
no. I haven' t seenin real life, rivalry. That'
s what we see in the moviesand that' s what he sells.

(25:22):
It' s not clear what yousee, but it' s clear,
and it' s very important whatyou' re saying. Not to really
understand this because in the end itaffects very much when it comes to living
together. Then there as my madrasa, I kind of had those behaviors,
but then I realized that nothing wasgoing on, and my mother always motivated
me and said to me look atyou having fun helps in the domestic areas,

(25:44):
like that motivated me there and Iwent to catch a lot of affection.
But when I was eighteen, shetook a disease and then started a
very complicated phase, because I wasaway and had a brother. She had
a son, gio, my littlebrother, a sweetheart who is now eighteen
years old is her name. Andthen, well, it was really hard

(26:06):
for me, because she was,like, two months in a coma and
then she recovered and then she gotsick again. Then there, when I
played a game, that is,before I entered the court, I got
the news that she had died andit was very hard because, I mean,
she can' t digest the informationshe was going out to play.

(26:27):
He has competed, he has goneto play and then I went to the
city and so I spent all thefuneral with my father, with my brother
and it was very hard. Andthen there I realized the importance, that
he was a stepmother for sure.I mean, it' s cool,
yeah, or I mean, cool, you actually understand me, it'

(26:48):
s not cool about such a toughsituation. But it' s really when
you see and say wow the wayI wanted it. Not so obviously,
and I felt sorry for whatever itwas like, and there I started to
wonder why I didn' t showhim more times, why I didn'
t hug him, why you don' t know how you got to talk
to her, for example, whenyou felt more distant you got to talk

(27:10):
about it, that is, nothing, nothing about my emotions, nothing,
but it gave me openness. Shewas always starting to get me involved.
Come on, pri let' sdo the. We bought this and I
started talking there a lot, Istarted putting my things together. I felt
very comfortable. But about my emotionsand yes, I mean, she never
asked me anything concrete anymore and Ididn' t mean I had the ease

(27:33):
of saying things It' s notclear that it' s the most complicated
thing. That' s really alsoa part that trains itself, you don
' t get there overnight. That' s right, I' m gonna
open my heart. I did formy stepmother, which is for me not
very new, of course, butI do remember that my mother, when
it was her birthday or, itwas a day I don' t know
about the mother, because she wasalso a mother, bought a small detail.
Look at your stepmother. Then Iwas there then, like it was

(27:56):
learning to show a little affection toher as well. Sure, and then
I' m still on my malomaadventure, and your mother once met your
stepmother in the same place. Yeah, and it was really nice for me.
It was very nice because my brotherhad I think about four years and

(28:17):
they came well, my stepmother livedin another city. Yeah, but I
don' t know why she cameto our town. It wasn' t
to see me, but I thinkto be some of his uni documents and
something like that. And then mymom tells me why you don' t
invite her home and I want youto what. Cool clear and came to

(28:37):
her and bu and sees my motheropen the doors of our house for her
with the smile and she also talkingto my mother and going down there by
the house, they went up toSofa and such and my mother educating my
brother and my mother not quiet lefti e, of all you know yes,
yes, for me it was,i e, it was the best
experience. My father wasn' tthere or if your father had been there,

(29:02):
he would have been different. No. I think so, because of
the way my parents handled their emotions, you know, and it was really
nice. So whatever it is,I' ve been able to live that
thing about girls as a stepdaughter andfor me to feel that work of the
adult people to be well, tobe impatient that maturity, also that maturity

(29:25):
of not containing prices as children.So now I get angry or now I
don' t like it, orsalute, I don' t greet you
that you are saying that I understandthat also that it is difficult. Man,
sure, but if we stay there, it' s hard, because
nothing' s moving forward. Thenit may be difficult, we may have
a lot of feelings that cost us, but we work clearly, of course,
and then it was very nice.I remember my mother playing with my

(29:48):
brother and my brother until today whenI see him because I remember that my
mother went to smell like weird andsaid to my brother she made you or
here and my brother starts laughing.Then my mother looks, I mean,
my mother looking is going to bemy sister. What did you say,
ack? My mother was talking tomy aunt. So my mom' s

(30:08):
going to change him like everything's very natural, yeah, and my
mom starts tickling him and starts playing. Then my brother grew up, then
I left with fourteen fifteen years old. My brother once found me to be
with my mother, my brother tellsmy mother the other day you remember when
I came to your house and sowe played and you said that my underpants
were on a case trial and helaughed and I was what happened. You

(30:32):
remember my brother from this day ontoo How strong, of course? How
strong clear And also good after,I remember also an experience that we had,
since my mother sun was no longerthat it was to spend the night
traveling together with my brother, myfather, also that I went through a
process, a brutal job, forgivemy father and repairs, all that also

(30:55):
for me was important to accept andforgive him in that regard as well.
Of course and today I say calmlybecause how many these things, because I
know team contribute not only for parents, but also because, that is,
I feel safe and that is,it is what I have lived, not
so that, also, as adults, we have the awareness of the influence

(31:18):
that we have in the lives ofchildren, because although we think that we
are adults, we are the decisionsand and there it is, the children
are left with what they see,with what they live, with what they
hear. Sure, it marks anything. It marks them a lot for looking
at your brother something when he wassuper small that if your mother had treated
him badly, she would have keptthat too and grown up in a completely

(31:41):
different way. That' s howgood it is to have planted, that
little seed of good vibe we're all together and so it makes,
because in the end children grow uphealthy and that is, mentally you know
and happy. And he hears,for that in the end, Yes,
yes, well, all as ofrespect and not resentment. Yeah, you

(32:02):
know how to live. This wasvery important to me. Now in my
life it' s like a stepmother, not clear where I want to go.
And when you used to say thatI found it curious that when Sergio
told you that he was going toeat you with his daughter and that he

(32:22):
was divorced, you said he's divorced, that is, you kept
him divorced. I have a chance. You told yourself. He has a
daughter that Brown who maybe other peoplewould have said he has a daughter.
It happened completely from this. Foryou it was me here. I think
that' s how Tintin tintin Imean, I was in peace to be
Guio, of course, and Ididn' t think at all and because

(32:45):
that' s why I think thatseeing my life that having a child wasn
' t happening. So, asfor me it was a very normal thing,
because even though it cost me thisprocess as I told you it'
s not with my stepmother and emotionsthat didn' t make me well,
but for me it was a normalthing, since it' s okay having
a child is already, now,we' ll see what happens and when
the first day you remember, thefirst day you met her, yes,

(33:06):
I remember this first. Funny,of course we were so nervous because,
of course, it was all veryfast. I mean, we met.
Sergio was seeing his parents because hehad left the house where he was with
his ex- partners and there,well, I didn' t have a
team here anymore, I wasn't going to be there to play.

(33:29):
Or Sergio proposes to me that you' re sharing a flat and so we
live together and I' m fine, but I still don' t know
Élis. Of course, I haveto meet him first. So how do
we then Sergio explains to him,i e he had already told me,
i e I had already told himthat he had known me that he had
been talking to him and I wasgoing to reactivate him, that he was

(33:51):
Brazilian and that and I remember thathe said to name me Priscilla and she,
as he spoke in Euskera, didnot speak Spanish, she still said
Pristina, cost him one and itwas very funny to me, that is
to say, he sent me audios, that is to say. Greetings to
Prisilla and she hello Pristina, andI loved it when these audios arrived.
And now it' s worth howwe do it, because I told her

(34:14):
to look, I was already astepdaughter. It' s very important to
me that you tell her the truththat we' re a great couple and
it would be like that. Buthow can I tell you if we started
recently? I don' t knowwhat you' re up to I mean,
it' s your problem You're already, uh, coughing parents,
no, but I was a jastraand I know how important it is.
I know that people who haven't said they were couples, it

(34:36):
' s okay, because then,I mean, then the kids are growing
up, and they' re feelingconfident. Yeah, but it' s
true what we can, not sure, but for me to tell the truth
was fundamental and around here we've been told stories about people who aren
' t friends and from your perspectiveas a boy or as a girl,

(34:59):
you know that she' s nota friend and then, suddenly you say
she' s cheating on me,although what your father wanted was to protect
you, it wasn' t lyingto you, but of course, the
boy gets it from here there issomething that smells, of course, you
know, I think it' sthe clear trust, of course, and

(35:22):
there, Sergio told her the truthand I remember that, but we wanted
to do it in a way likeno impression, so it' s like
an encounter or not, like we' re going to officialize. That'
s it, I mean that's my partner or not. No.
Cesarge explained a little bit about thedivorce she will have, that the girl
will have two houses, that herparents loved you Moton and so And while
of that, I there shaking becauseI didn' t know what would happen.
And then I come up with anidea. There, in the Basque

(35:45):
Country there are many parties for thechildren and I remember that this day,
Sergio had learned that there were likegiant heads that the children love, because
flat, that is, we gothere look, I wait for you in
the peace of bus, you pass, with the car, with the girl
is good. So we pretend we' ve found that we go to the
same place and then we go overand we go over there. Then I

(36:07):
' m standing there parallete in thebouquets. You' re going to Sergia
with him the car and he saysMira that he' s presile there and
he' s uy and then Iget in the car and she does just
like she looks at the window andI don' t look at my face
after the mood of shame and Ihello to him and I' m pri

(36:28):
and I showed up for her andshe didn' t look at me.
Go Sergio say hello and she's with the monkey, as well as
a lot of shame. I hadthree years alone and Sergio where you'
re going and I' m goingto the party. It' s ah,
so we look at what a coincidence. Then there we go and then
Algio leaves us for a little whilealone and we have taken the dog from
Sergio' s grandparents who were thereclose also where he lived. Yes,

(36:50):
and it was a very nice afternoonbecause I saw her as comfortable and with
the easiest dog, because we startedto talk, not because the dog liked
it very much and it was likethere I got loose, not like I
adapted to the moment and from therewe started to meet more times and already
it can be seen that things didn' t flow. Naturally, this day

(37:12):
I was scared, yes, Iswear, I was kind of clear,
yes because you say and if youlike me or yes, suddenly you cross
and I don' t want toknow that I didn' t speak any
Spanish. It is almost good andthe girl is not clear and how I
communicate with her clear, two differentlanguages and is sometimes left as mediator waking
up bua. What a stress.But there it was very nice and already

(37:37):
began the custody as Sergio had it, he had the mother still because it
was like a little progressive. ThenElis came about three times a week with
us and every end of another ship, one with us, others with her.
And for me it was interesting thatprogression too because so we went little
by little, not clear to seethe routine of the girl, the school,

(38:00):
the things she liked to do.And it was very nice this process
and the girl' s mother whatrole she plays in all this. Well,
at first I was very curious tomeet him, to give this space,
but at the same time I wasvery afraid that I didn' t

(38:20):
know how to do it. AndI remember in one of those phases that
I told you it was very difficultfor me like he started all the feelings
there that he saw like he didn' t know what place to occupy.
I remember I felt like very lonelyand one day, in a change we
made. She was the day shemet me and she told me I'
m Maya, not Ellis' motherand I' m pri I introduced myself

(38:44):
and she told me plia. Ellspeaks very well of you and me like
that and started to tell things andthen I talked about things I do with
her. And it was like uffI mean, I have a weight on
me, of course and I rememberthis day she told me, she thanked
me, she said thank you somuch for doing what you do with my
daughter. And for me it waseither way, I was waiting for you,

(39:07):
but at the same time I neededsomeone to see me and someone to
validate you too that was here.Someone saw me what was going on,
I kept this. But then,in the long run, it is true
that we had some conflicts. Ithink it was very difficult for her,
too, because then also in changingcustody, schedules, opinions, different,

(39:30):
different upbringings, then I thought itwas very complicated for us. Now I
can tell exactly how calm we arehere, but I recognize that it has
not been easy. You also knowit' s true that it' s
like a roller coaster a little bitthat there are times when there' s
total calm and you say that there' s nothing going on, that well,

(39:53):
all of a sudden a storm comesup for something but worse art,
because of course, they' relives, of course, they' re
parallel lives prey, many people influencingand also managing something that has never happened
to you, because surely they're the first time they separate, the
first time they separate with a childhow they manage a stepmother comes in.
So it' s a lot ofthings, a lot of them. That

(40:15):
' s for everyone, eggs,everyone. Sure, then it' s
very difficult. And then, especiallywhen it comes to parenting that you said
about different upbringings, it' sthat already in a house with a father
and a traditional mother, you cantrust why you told the child that I
don' t know that if Iwant him to turn off the TV or
it' s already in husband,wife and son, you know then husband,

(40:39):
stepmother daughter and another house, andso it' s very difficult to
make that bootley that I think sometimesyou have to how to lift the foot
of the hearing accelerator. This isgonna come out. That' s another
one. He controlled everything exactly andwith goodwill from all sides. This will
come out somewhere. And besides,it' s very interesting about the conflict.

(41:00):
Not because I remember that I wasvery afraid of conflict and was,
as my mother, a conflict andnow I understand that conflicts are also necessary
to learn with situations. It wasn' t much discomfort, it would fall
too much fear, too much stress. But if you stop to think about
the conflicts you had and that youmade decisions, you learned a lot more

(41:22):
from growing up when you' veovercome a conflict, when you' ve
avoided it. That' s right, that' s right, and that
' s right, and that's what I' m saying, too.
So if you want to bring Sergiohere again another day because of what
you were thinking before. I mean, maybe. After lunch I tell you
to go through the kingdom, becausethat also has a lot of things to
share. I' ve seen abrutal change in him, that is,

(41:45):
because I, that is, Imade a situation for myself. He'
s in my suitcase and he's ready to go to Brazil like that
to get back to what he wants. Yeah, I' m leaving,
yeah, yeah, yeah, andof course, and right now it was
like oysters. It' s notclear to me and it' s very
curious, because seeing the work Sergiohas done is very nice, I mean,

(42:09):
understanding that this relationship is built takesyou away, that is, it
raises a time and it' sgoing to happen. There are complex situations
that are going to happen, it' s not going to stop all the
time because I know that when weare there are moments that we are very
afraid, that there is a lotof anxiety, we think the worst and

(42:30):
we believe in this, we believevery much and we think that it will
always be so. So now havingto put up with that is those conflicts.
I can' t stand it andit' s not really like that,
because if there' s a jobas a team, because it'
s also another topic, because onlythe stepmother is there. I have blackberries
that accompany madras ski have been workinga long time and I have seen one

(42:53):
of the couple that has done nothingand that remains the same and that happens
that is the only one that hasto adapt. Then there seeing a change
is complete. But unless your partnerunderstands you or empathizes with you or knows
how you feel that helps a lot, so that things change and that gives
you your place also because it happensmany times that there are couples who are

(43:17):
more aware of the exo of ex. It' s not that he'
s going to get angry or it' s not that, but I don
' t know how to avoid conflictthere. But the conflict is right here.
It' s from you avoiding somethingbecause you' re afraid or respect
someone else and not the person youlive with, who needs a space,
because this family is being built.So, that' s what we all

(43:40):
have to work together. Sure,sure, and even if it' s
hard for you to accept what person, the father, the mother- in
- law, even if it costsyou the stepmother is there, then the
more you reject, the more you' re going to suffer from that is,
besides hurting this person, or notadapting, you don' t mold

(44:01):
yourself into the new situation. Thenthat' s what you said. It
' s harder now. Of course, of course, then accepting that there
is a role, that there isa person who also participates is also important.
Of course, I mean, nomatter what order came in, that
' s exactly right there, thisisn' t the perp to the second,
that is, it' s there. It' s true. That
doesn' t matter much on theorder of arrival. That' s right.

(44:23):
And you' ve always wanted tobe a mother. Not because the
sport issue I left me as withthat doubt, as I will be doing,
which will be that I will gowhen I am going to do,
will be that I will get thesport paired. Then I was never very
clear about this, but it istrue that when I started having these emotions

(44:45):
with him, it is also alot of affection and such and that I
have seen as moments that were verybeautiful to me, not of summer growing
up, learning things, sharing thislove. Yeah, that I felt like
those mother- in- laws.Yeah, but at the same time he
got a lot mixed up with thisthing about going to the park and being

(45:06):
sergio with his friends, which isalso about age. I think most of
them were fathers and mothers. Ididn' t agree with someone who wasn
' t a father or a mother, but I felt very unapproached. So,
when I shared some information, Ifelt like weird, like I couldn
' t talk to property. That' s enough, and what' s
going on there. I thought Iwanted to be a mother, because I

(45:28):
really want to be a mother,because just to fit in no longer.
So I was there with these questionsfor a long time and I started talking
to Sarja about it and at firstI was very clear that I didn'
t want to have children. So, for me it was like and now
here I am, because I'm not very clear either, of course,
so I have that desire that hasa doubt. That is and nothing

(45:52):
much conversation, very uncomfortable at first, because they are two different ideas,
two completely different situations. But really, I mean, let' s make
it a point already to talk aboutit so much that it was so normal
already and yes that I have seenalso he is a very nice phase,

(46:13):
that I thought bowl maybe it wouldbe nice to also be able to bring
a brother or a clear sister,and that was how we tried and said
good to me the first one,that is, we were already to Luca
and it was also another challenge,the fears, as the girl will receive

(46:34):
clear, the baby will be allegedhow I will be. And I,
with my relationship with Ellis, wasalso very worrying in that regard. And
now, seeing it, I mean, it was really nice to be able
to see, so, for menow, right now, there' s
nothing more beautiful than seeing this relationshipof brothers, that is, when the
two of you are together that look. Yes, there are moments that there
is a little fight, also good, of course, conflicts, but because

(46:55):
they are brothers, that is normal, it is normal, but to see
these little moments that look at eachother, that laugh, that Luca seeks
him and that he seeks him.For me it' s like my mother,
that is, what a beautiful thing. Then I was not clear and
I was lucky enough to live it, because I also work as odrasas who

(47:16):
have not achieved and who are goingthrough a process of infertility and who also
does not know whether he wants ornot, or that by age they cannot
be then. Yes, in thatsense they are also very grateful and I
am in a very beautiful phase nowof madrastriness and materirity. As a clear
mother and your enchanted stepdaughter with thelittle brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

(47:38):
yeah, they' re pretty close. Your stepdaughter' s mother has
met your son, yes, she' s known, and now she was
just talking to Sergio before yesterday,because before we come on the trip,
we leave him is with his mother. Lucas, he stayed in the car
and looked at him as if lookingat her house and I was wondering what

(48:00):
it is, what he will notthink or when he will be legitating this
moment to who will ask us whatÉlis' s house is or if I
can go to his house, ofcourse he will surely ask, that is,
how it will be. Not thenwe were talking about this, because
I really think it' s thebest way possible. I want it to
be healthy, but I mean,family relationships is very important to me and

(48:27):
I' m super in favor ofworking, that is, differences and building
the best. And then I explainedto Luca, I mean so little I
said look at them go with hismom now and he said mom, mom
and I looked at him mom andI did, his mom. And of
course and then he' s goneor has started to cry clear to the

(48:50):
other one that gives me a lotof penita, of course, but it
' s also a feeling that thenhe will also have to adapt, that
his sister has two houses and thatone week will be and another not clear,
because that for a child, thatis, he will live it in
the natural way, because it's the perfect thing and it will grow.
I think that surely all the fearsthat you have he won' t
even ask himself, because, ashe has grown up with that he will

(49:10):
say if it is normal for mysister to go every x time to his
mother' s house. Maybe so. Maybe so. I too was also
an opportunity for him to live hisemotions and to live here because he does
nothing. If I' m frustratedI' m gone it' s okay
Kari' s gone, he's gone a lot. We can do
something else if you want. Wecan draw a picture for her, I

(49:31):
mean, now she' s notgoing to understand this because it' s
my project, but already thinking inthe long run, I want to let
him live those emotions so then Ican also manage when I' m older.
Sure, because if I' mso afraid that my son will live
this and I limit it to him, that' s something that' s
going to happen, that' snot going to control, of course,
that' s something that' sgoing to happen, that' s going

(49:53):
to happen that' s going tohappen and that' s, of course,
it has to be assimilated. Andwhen you talk a lot about the
work you' ve done and thework Sergio' s doing, you either
work alone or work with some therapistor some psychologist or what that job looks
like. This is a subject becauseI remember that at first we were looking

(50:15):
for professional help was a little hardbecause we were recommended to professional that it
was very well known and such,but I knew nothing about family that spoken.
Then we are disappointed in that sense, because it is really important to
find someone who knows how to teachyou, how to manage emotions and conflict

(50:36):
situations, but also to understand yourrole in the family and how your dynamic
is. Sure. Then I meta psychologist Patricia, who is a love
who was a madrast at the moment, who lived in France, was Brazilian.
Besides, then, to do sicktherapy is for me great and for
me it was super necessary. Imean, it was an angel that appears

(50:57):
in my life. It was likeyou, that' s my life,
like I' ve seen the light. You know what' s good,
when you meet people. So,wonder. I am very grateful for her
and then there I realized the importanceof mental health in our role. Yes,
and then it' s there too, after returning from Lanzarote, from
being like a long time embroidering,because you know that I like to approach,

(51:22):
that I had a lot of ideasand I had gone through things that
I thought oysters. Perhaps other womenmay also be happening, because I will
share what I know from my mood, from my joy, in the way
I played easier. Then I metanother Marica Mardelly, who had him we
are madrassas in Brazil and there arosethe opportunity to bring him to Spain.

(51:46):
But of course I still didn't recognize my role, that is,
in my house. Yeah, andit' s hardly worth it, but
when I saw someone who wasn't very close to saying" Madrastra,
" it was hard for me becausemany times I heard and didn' t
say that, please, that soundsterrible. Yes, I' ve been
told a thousand times by myself,but it' s true. I am
Madrastras and it sounds bad and becausewe have examples, I had and such

(52:09):
horror, but it is reality.It' s just that what I do
sounds like you usually do, that' s what or that' s clear
and for me it was like verydifficult to manage all this, but I
thought something has to be done,because I' ve already seen myself in
situations and come home and cry alot like this, for expressing my relationship

(52:29):
with Elis. And that' show I have to do it. I
mean, I don' t carewhat they' re gonna think. I
' m going to talk about itbecause for Ellis, for his generation to
come more with beliefs, more sometimesmore to see you in that sense and
for adult people mainly to understand thatwe' re not women, that we

(52:52):
' re with a knife out thereripping out children' s eyes. Sure,
please, mine and we' rein the cauldron like this, removing,
no, not totally. This isclear, yes, and this then
created Instagram. We' re stepmothersand she started sharing my thoughts. There
and it happens to me to bequeathstories from all parts of the world.

(53:14):
And clearly, I realize that Idiscover a passion and a purpose, because
I, with the human bullet allmy life I have played, have made
a career of physiotherapy. I haven' t seen myself doing work at stake
physical therapist. Yeah, but thereas it was, I kind of saw
bro in another way, it waslike others, that is, helping people
and helping madras. That' swhat I want to do. This is,

(53:35):
this is, and that' swhere I started to form myself I
made a certification in positive discipline andnow in emotional intelligence, which I think
for me and violent communication too andfor me is the basic thing to be
able to handle situations a little better. But for the madrasas or to have
to form and nothing I thought andwell, at least I share a little

(53:59):
bit of the things you saw,specific issues so you can help. And
that' s when we are bornwe are stepmothers here in Spain, which
is a very good community project thatwelcomes women who become stepmothers and I also
start to do accompaniments. Then Ialso risk talking about my Spanish. Of

(54:20):
course I was very embarrassed and stillhaving a chat. Or whatever. Sometimes
I forget words of question, Imean or say something wrong and someone corrects
me I mean, I can't, but you make it perfect.
That is understood and also completely clearto me. So, for me,
it' s a very beautiful stageof my life, because I know a

(54:42):
woman, that is, since I' ve been alone, I don'
t know any stepmothers. Now whatI know most about seon stepmothers, but
it' s true that you startpulling the thread and suddenly they come out
a lot. That is to say, chisimo, I, when I started
the podcast I said to see ifthere are not so many and then I
said I will ask five and fivealready I can do and then there is
no more, because five episodes havebeen recorded and that is and I am

(55:05):
already going for the second season becausethey start, because it is not clear
that every time, that is,it is a reality that I have seen,
you have interviewed a lot of mothers. Yeah, yeah, that'
s why they' re dating.You know stepmothers, stepdaughters who also tell
their experience, who help us alot to stepmothers how, then, just
like to you your experience of beinga stepdaughter and having an extra mother referent.
Yeah, I' m sure he' s helping you a lot right

(55:25):
now in your stepmom role. Notthen and they start going out and they
start going out and the oysters thatseem to stop thinking is that nowadays I
know if you take the statistics.There' s a lot of divorced people,
there' s a lot of newpeople fighting back. My family is,
it' s obvious, no yes, yes, but then we'
re stepmothers. You have Instagram youhave the web and what you do is

(55:51):
accompany good also in instagram. Yougive a lot of advice, because it
is true that the world of motherhoodis full of advice. And for those
of you who are mothers, youhave a lot of advice. But for
us to be stepmothers we have nothing. So there you give parenting tips like
parenting, emotional management, because it' s true that we have parenting associated

(56:14):
with being a mother. But thestepmothers also raised our children, because I
slept my stepson by the arm.I' ve taught him how to eat
with little knives from all the cos. But it' s selling now that
it' s older. Come on, you' re gonna learn, we
' re gonna make an omelette becauseyou' re old. Starting to cook
things is a very important time clearmaking the bed. I know things very

(56:37):
well and besides, I am veryorganized and then I already co. It
is also necessary because the words weeducate also do not, because that question
the madra is educated. Yeah,that educates, sure duke, sure,
yeah. And if not, wealso do not accept cla madra to be
educated, because there we have anotherproblem, because if it goes madrasas,
it cannot educate, because it iscomplicated, because there is a coexistence.

(56:57):
I don' t know madras isthat they' re with the twenty-
seven creatures, four by seven andthey' re kind of cornered that they
can' t say that they're clear. That' s an hour
explodes. I' m dying I' m missing an exact hour. And
there' s another divorce and it' s worth another say. I mean,
you don' t have to workit, you have to accept it
and then, from parenting emotional intelligencecommunication. I' m also trying to

(57:22):
get people to understand the importance ofthe role. Our role is very important,
that is very important, and alsothat we can also build healthier relationships,
not at a family level with ourstepchildren. We have a connection.
There are a lot of unpleasant emotionsthat arise and we don' t even

(57:45):
know how to name them, toname them. Yeah, I mean,
jealousy, for example, is whatI most on board in stepmother groups.
Yes and try to be in away with a lot of humor too and
it' s like the first timethey start expressing is this is uncomfortable.
They don' t say I'm jealous. It' s like my

(58:06):
partner' s been with the kidall day and then I don' t
know what you know like he's going around and it' s like
jealousy and nothing happens. Also thenjealousy and it means that something matters to
you, that is, something mattersto you. But of course, let
' s talk about the movies.Again a woman in a romantic comedy movie,
when she was jealous, what shedid was break one car, was

(58:29):
fight the other by another name.Yeah, so we have this idea that
being jealous is something about me not, so it' s wrong and we
' re gonna blow up sometime andwe' re gonna break a cell phone,
which we' re gonna shit somebody. But not feeling is one thing
and behavior is another. So feeling' s okay, it' s okay.
Now it' s what we dowith this emotion. It' s
not gonna break your cell phone,it' s not gonna work, I

(58:49):
mean, it' s not strategic. So I accept without guilt, I
mean, I' m mothers,because it' s that they win this
role with this connotation. It's already a weight. It' s
like, I' m already thebad guy. So, forgetting this and
allowing yourself to feel those unpleasant emotionsis important. And also and name,
because if I can' t name, I can' t manage. Then

(59:12):
there in the groups I also havethe Digami group as stepmothers, and it
is very nice to see this growth, to see the madrasas from a place
of insecurity, of much loneliness,because it is also important to network.
Yes, because talking to other stepmothers, asking questions, listening to stories,
it is necessary, not clear,yes, and it is what we do

(59:34):
there and also that each one cancontribute what has already lived and with a
lot of knowledge. So it's funny because sometimes they call me pri
today you' re like with alot of theory, that is, we
' re going to talk, soit' s there getting quiet, happy
information, but it' s artthat then tells me oysters. The other
day I told you that, butI put into practice what you had already
said and it worked for me yousee then because so it has to do

(59:59):
that also for you not to beable to teach them to put it into
practice and make it work. Ithas to be like super satisfying. Yes,
and it' s all clear knowledge, i e, I bring authors,
to my advices, i e,knowledge that clear and very visual information,
i e, so that we canreally touch and see where we are

(01:00:23):
going with our thoughts and emotions.Not because the issue here many times is
we are believing in the things thatwe are telling for ourselves and not in
what we are really seeing, ofcourse because of our pains, also because
of our childhood or because of someconflict in our relationship as well. And
there it can affect a lot whentrying to solve the problem with your partner,

(01:00:46):
for example, because if you arevery angry, needing high inflation emotion,
it is very difficult to solve nothingis easier than angryly. There'
s no more reason to be angry, to fix it. Of course and
it happens to me too, thatis, there are still situations that I
find it difficult sometimes to communicate whatI find difficult to identify, that is,

(01:01:10):
it is an eternal process. Idon' t think there' s
a table. No no, becausethis is always happening many times that is
and new things are happening. Andit' s true that all platforms or
tricks and such that there is,for example, parenting for that is,
how to educate teenagers. That's great, but how to educate teenagers

(01:01:31):
who are your stepchildren is a plus. Then there are times when I don
' t. Here' s theinformation. It' s not the same.
It' s not the same,because we each have our story and,
maybe there are angers that come fromwhen the pain comes from somewhere else.
You know he doesn' t havea clear experience or beliefs is a
pass. Also because it' sfunny to me, because Sergio, when

(01:01:53):
I met Sergio, he' sreadaptor, he' s worth a readaptor.
What it does is, we havea real real, yes, a
personal trainer, a trainee character andthe readaptor is that person who, like,
accompanies you on this return to practice. Then you have an injury,
a pain. Then I was aperson who looks at your pain between changes

(01:02:15):
you recover so that you will havea life, a daily life activity,
or do sports or return to yourhigh level. And Sergio always told me,
because how many clients of chronic painworked and such he always told me
beliefs have a lot of influence andI do, it' s true,
beliefs. But when I said beliefs, I connected religion to faith. Yeah,

(01:02:37):
I' m out there and I' m like, well, I
already understood and like, how Ifelt, I didn' t understand.
Then it was passing the time.And Sergio kept saying several times when some
station was passing, because we alsoreally like Cotillears things of life. Yes,
and it tells me beliefs are veryinfluential and I do believe them If

(01:02:58):
I did not understand beliefs, thentoday, as with emotional intelligence, with
what I have studied, I haveunderstood that beliefs have a great influence on
our emotions, then, if I, for example, believe that the person
is not successful if he studies,because if I know my husband who has

(01:03:20):
not studied and who undertakes, becausethere I already have as something that already
influences our relationship, you know ofcourse that he will not succeed because he
has not studied. It' sthe success I consider. My son or
stepchild tells me that he won't study because he doesn' t want
to undertake or that it' sgoing to be something else or that he
' s going to be the artistbecause he likes to paint, so there

(01:03:45):
I realize so many things that we' ve seen of girls about things that
we' ve heard and not justabout our parents, about a teacher,
about a friend that we' restaying with that I' ve noticed a
lot in my decision to ask Sergios R. T Ons, for example,
I did, I did, Iasked her for your marriage, and
I asked her too. Yeah,yeah, actually, I bought this ring,

(01:04:11):
which is the order ring, andI gave him a watch I tell
you to put on the ring hebuys me, a order ring. It
' s very nice, that's good, that' s good.
So I mean, I love that, but of course it cost him because
I didn' t start any friendsof mine, because I thought of Boa
to think that I' m crazy, that I' m very much like

(01:04:33):
wanting to break things up and I' ve realized this depression thing we have
and several situations, but that they' re not real, that they'
re pressures that we put ourselves,because we believe how you internal. You
know when you' re gonna makedecisions. There' s that two like
saying and giving you pictures of similarthings that you' ve lived, like
giving there you understand is going tohappen again it generates more anxiety. Of

(01:04:54):
course, there I am with thestepmothers in that very interesting work and the
truth that I am very happy becauseI feel that it fills me, that
is, it fills me I amvery motivated to receive a message saying Mira
pri. I' ve applied thisbecause that' s also another lady who
knows she needs to work it isthe first job and it' s the
hardest thing. Yes, to admitthat because there are situations, that is,

(01:05:17):
to this day I see that thereare many things around that did not
change, but I did change classes. There are people who don' t
change that I do. I seebehavior remains the same, but I don
' t like it, as youknow, and that applies to my professional
life. Do making interesting is whatyou' re saying, because it'
s true that we can' tchange everyone' s life, but as

(01:05:38):
we face it and assume it andlive it with it is that it'
s from night to day, thatis, having a bad day, from
being surrounded by idiotic people to hearing, because I saw so bad. You
know I' m doing it andI have a very good day and people
are the same. That' s, yeah, it' s real and
good I, like I told you, don' t come from a very
simple parenting. I mean, wedidn' t have anything, but we

(01:06:00):
had all the love, of course, and then the work that I do
goes around. When I read amessage to myself, as I told you,
pri, I' ve made myselfgo for an amanaza. She told
me I left little notes in thehouse, for my stepdaughter and it was
like, for herself, i e, she was afraid of the reaction that
even daughters will have, if sheis going to repay herself. I wasn

(01:06:21):
' t going, but she saidlook. I do it because I want
it already, I leave Pri Ifeel so good, I feel confident,
I feel like I' m onit. You know how I' m
working with myself clearly and it's hard, it' s super hard.
I mean, there' s asaying that matters that it is.
If you want something easy, becausethey enter the plan, that is,

(01:06:45):
if you are something powerful in theplane, because on the flan it is
soft, then it is easy.But if you want to achieve anything anything,
I mean a sportsman himself, ifyou want to get to play Olympics,
you have sacrifices a couple. Today, on Instagram or the videos that
viralize the most are older couples whoare in a little play there with the
little monkey together, you' rewatching, they' re watching each other,

(01:07:10):
because it' s something that allpeople want, of course, but
when it comes to putting it intopractice it' s difficult. Then achieving
this is complicated. Then I believea lot in this that it is possible
to do so. For me,family is very important and there I am.
I mean, you' d recommendit to be over. If anyone

(01:07:31):
imagines your brother, when he's a little older, he tells you
I' m going to be astepfather. Either a friend tells you I
' m going to be an adrastra, you' d tell her to run
away, or if you asked methis. Three years ago, I'
d still say yes, because,like, three years ago, I thought,
you know, get out of there, please, and now I say

(01:07:55):
no, because you have a brutalchance to get to know yourself and grow
up personally. I mean, that' s the conclusion I draw today as
a person. I mean, Imean to be his madrass and be Sergio
' s partner. Being in thesefamilies For me it has been a great
opportunity to meet a Priki and Ihad never met and I think maybe I

(01:08:17):
was in another relationship. I'd know another part of Prik, of
course, but it' s beenso many challenges that I' ve learned
so much and now I feel sostrong, clear, as confident as if
no one ever stops me like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and
I' m not talking about success. I' m talking about where I
' m going is the decision I' m making and he' s sure

(01:08:39):
I' m guilty like he doesn' t anymore. That should be the
success really in life, I don' t know how many houses and I
don' t know how many cars. I mean, having success in life.
For me it is to have asecurity, a firmness and be clear
where you are going and that happyin the place that is fruit of a
lot of work, of course,that' s what really counts. Of
course it' s a total success. Yeah, yeah, that' s
true. I' ve misexplained,but I said this, I mean,

(01:09:02):
it' s not a success ofhow you look at life perfectly. No,
I mean, the challenges remain thesame. Of course, what happens
is that it no longer affects meas it affected me before. I mean,
I was clear, I had depression. After I met in stepmothers,
I was already in bed and Ididn' t want to do anything,
you don' t want someone,you don' t want to live because

(01:09:25):
I don' t know, gesturegives everything that came and all of a
sudden, all those emotions, asyou don' t know, manage the
loads and weigh so much that backpack. That' s it, and I
do think it' s because I' m a stepmother, so, I
mean, you don' t havea solution. If I have depression because
I' m a stepmother, thenI have to stop being more. This
is it and then he and hewould have missed a great stepmother, Sergio,

(01:09:46):
a great woman and I the opportunityto work. All of this is
clear. Then life is only livedonce and you have to enjoy it.
I mean, there' s goingto be problems, conflicts, there'
s always going to be because we' re people who think different. Sure,
I' m sure. If wetell you right now. We'
re going on a vacation in Brazil, we' re staying for two weeks.

(01:10:08):
We' ll have a pipe there, but at some point we won
' t agree on a plan.For example, I want to eat sushi.
You want to eat Brazil' scake. Sure, it' s
not gonna match. There' sgonna be a conflict. We' ve
got to work this out. Butif we' re already as a mother,
I have a clear and clear conflict. Or I' m not going
on a trip because I don't want to have the conflict. Then
you miss a lot more. That' s right, of course, so

(01:10:30):
I believe in this a lot.For me, the family is spoken.
It' s a very nice,very interesting thing. I see a lot
of stories of stepchildren coming, Idon' t know where from another couple
and then own children and then incomunechildren and the house full and lots of
very nice situations. Also yes,you can enjoy it. I believe a
lot. That' s nice,because I started this podcast to tell the

(01:10:56):
love story that I have with mystepson, that we' re both in
love with each other, and thenI said I want to tell you not
just the bad part. It istrue that with so many interviews and so
many moments bad things, there iswhat I said and it is very important
to talk about it. Of course, it is very important what you are

(01:11:16):
then, if you want to hearstories, this is the place, if
you want to solve things, youhave to throw we are stepmothers, give
the guidelines and just what you haveto do to solve it. So,
thank you so much for coming tothe Kingdom, for being part of the
Kingdom, and thank you for everythingyou' re doing, that is,

(01:11:39):
really everything you' re doing,that is, all those stories you get
out of here don' t interestyou. It brings a lot to society,
not just by indating a little locationto the madras, to the assembled
families, but also by normalizing ourol It' s a very normal thing,
very important, so I thank youfor things. Thank you. There

(01:11:59):
may be power in this space.Really. Thank you so much for meeting
you. I already interviewed you atthe time. Thank you, indeed,
yes, thank you very much,yes, yes, and much success here
for You too, for nothing.Thank you very much. You have heard
stepmothers without children Subscribe and share thiskingdom so that it will be ever greater,

(01:12:25):
the Kingdom of all