June 4, 2025 • 45 mins
This hour I host Brenday Weybright from the Santa Cruz Pregnancy Resource Center. Brenda forays into local middle and high schools with presentations for students on the tough subjects - porn addiction, internet safety, sexual consent laws, trafficking, relationships and values, and more. Her program is an amazing public service from the PRC and Brenda has an opportunity to impact our local teens, and be a cool resource, in a significant way. She also offers parents forums to support parents in guiding children through these tough talks. Thank you SC PRC for this amazing community service!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
The California Mama Bears have been forced out of hibernation.
Fierce guardians of our future, Mama Bear's Fight or parents, Rice,
defense of the family, and God given freedoms everywhere. You're
listening to Mama Bear's Radio with your host, the New Normal,
(00:32):
Kristin Hurley.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All right, everybody, welcome to Mama Bear's Radio. Kristin Hurley here,
safe and effective radio, I might add, still and again
gold standard broadcasting. That's what I'm trying to say now,
moving forward and little hat tip to MAHA movement and
taking our country forward in the right direction. So I
(00:58):
was gone last week. I was actually here, but I
think I played some repeats. I'd had a heck of
a weekend, graduation and all sorts of stuff. It has
been NonStop grad parties. Let me just say, I'm a
little I'm a little partied out, and I didn't even
go to most of them, so kind of a whirlwind
couple of weeks. I know it's school's out time for everyone.
(01:20):
I hope everyone's doing well out there, enjoying the end
of the year festivities, whatever that is. And off we go.
I have a guest this hour and studio with me
so I am gonna stop my babbling right now, save
that for hour two if you want to stay tuned
for Kristen Babel, and we're gonna get right with it.
So this is Brenda Waybright. She is with the Pregnancy
(01:42):
Resource Center here in Santa Cruz. And thanks for joining
me today, Brenda. Oh so good to be here. Kristen,
it's a pleasure. Yeah, you're no stranger to the Steamed
radio stations here in town, yep. So I'm glad to
have you on today and we'll get right to it. So, I,
(02:02):
you know, over the years, have been to the PRC banquets.
You know, they're a local organization that really does support
women in all stages of pregnancy, before, during, and after,
women that need support and families that need support here
in town. Super super amazing resource and organization, the PRC.
So I have been at their their annual banquets, which
(02:23):
are fundraising events here in town, and I've heard Brenda speak. Now,
Brenda is out in the schools, so she's kind of
a community facing part of the PRC. And so I'm
gonna let you introduce yourself and talk about what you.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Do there at the at the PRC. Okay, great, Thank you, Kristin.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So again, my name is Brenda Waybright and I am
the education person at the public at the public at
the Pregnancy Resource Center PRC, and I go into the
public and private schools in Santa Cruz County. Mainly we
talk with the freshman health classes and we have a
(03:02):
really if I may say so, and I've heard this
from students and teachers alike, so I'm not just you know,
we're not just tooting our own horn here, but we
have a really excellent program. It's about two to three
hours and length, and we cover all just a myriad
of different topics, everything from social media safety, porn addiction,
(03:23):
legalities of nudes, the emotional and legal consequences of sending
nudes and so forth, and solutions.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
We always try to talk about.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Things that may be problematic, but also bringing solutions to
the table as well. We talk about sexual integrity. There
are just many, many different topics that we talk about.
And the really wonderful thing about the program is is
that it's interactive. So it's not just me as a
talking head, just you know, doing the want want, you know,
Charlie Brown thing, but it's asking kids questions it's letting
(03:58):
kids talk with each other about different things that are
in the program. And so the whole point is to
get them to think about their behavior and the possible
consequences of their behavior and boundaries, healthy boundaries. We talk
about healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships, teen dating, violence. There
(04:20):
are just many, many different topics that we cover, and
it's we also talk about STDs and again, you know,
solutions to all these issues as well.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
That's a lot packed into a couple hours.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
It is, it is, and that's just a freshman health class.
We also talked to middle schoolers and then we gear
that to them.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
That's about a two hour program.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
And then I did have a teacher that asked me
to develop a program on human reproduction and we do
have that for the you know, like.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Say fifth graders, sixth graders, that kind of thing.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
And the early birds and the bees, the early birds
and the bees.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
And then we talk about we have a little fifth
say a little like it's little, it's not.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
It's about a forty minute program for fifth and sixth
graders on strictly at social media, so to try to
get them because a lot of these kids have phones
and we're trying to get them also to think about
what's out there and just how to be safe online
and not to be afraid. But the more knowledge you have,
(05:24):
the more you're able to make better choices.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, exactly, discern, be discerning about what you're doing and seeing.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Well, I asked you here.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
You know, we don't necessarily have tons of children listening.
Maybe we do. I in general, they'd be in school.
But I love this hour of the afternoon. I've always
been on from two to four because to me, it's
mom drive time. Moms are out, school's getting out, you're
going after school activities. You know, it's starting to be
the early drive time. But I really think it's geared
(05:55):
towards the moms out there on the road, myself included
over the years. So I really wanted to have you
on just to speak about what it. You know, let's
go a little bit more in depth. Is the hour
unfolds here into some of the lessons and some of
the instruction you're walking the kids through, just so this
can be you know, instructive for parents. And I think
(06:17):
a lot of parents either are you know, know all
this kind of intuitively, maybe it doesn't really get discussed
at home, and.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I'm guilty of that too.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I think we all are like, there's some stuff You're
just like, I hope they get it that, you know,
based on my opinions and my instruction and other categories
of life. You know, I'm gonna skip this this topic.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
And just hope for the best.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Totally guilty of that, but I just think, you know,
you're unafraid to say these hard topics in front of
kids and classrooms and say those touchy words.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Let's say yes, So you.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Know, why not court parents and you know, families, moms
that might be listening this afternoon and help them either
be encouraged to have these conversations with their kids or
have it on their radar as well. That is a.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Perfect into intro kristin to the parent Forum.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
So one thing that I neglected to mention and that
I'm mentioning right now because this totally plays into it,
is that we do offer a parent forum.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
This is a perfect.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Place to find accurate, up to date information and in fact,
all the information that we give and I'm not trying
to just sound like I'm selling a car or something,
but when whenever we do the programs, I'm following I
subscribe to a myriad of different you know, websites like
(07:48):
the Children Mind Institute, Defend Young Minds.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Enough is enough.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
There's just many different organizations that send me information all
the time. And I and I you know, I read
those emails and it's like, oh my gosh, Wow, the
Take It Down Act just occurred, and that was just
signed into law, you know, like a week and a
half ago, I think, or something like that recent. Yeah,
So there's just so many new things going on. And
here's the beauty of the parent forum, you guys, especially
(08:14):
to you moms out there in the cars.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I was one of them. Is that the parent forum.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I'm the one that has done all the research on this.
So the Pregnancy Resource Center education person has done the
footwork for you. And I do a ton of studying,
a ton of research, watching podcasts, keeping up to date
and everything that's going on, so that you don't have
to me. Yes, of course, you're going to be listening
to what you like to listen to and so forth.
But I'm compiling information, and again it's on those subjects
(08:45):
like I'm going to read you just some This is
a new report finds most teens watch online pornography for instance.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
And why do I bring this up again. I'm not
fear mongering.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
This is just something that's very, very common right now
now in the schools. The report was based on a
national survey of thirteen hundred teenagers ages thirteen to seventeen.
They found that seventy five percent of boys and seventy
percent of girls said they had watched online pornography.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
The average age.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Started at twelve seven and ten admitted they watch porn intentionally.
Four in ten said they'd watch porn, including nudity and
sexual acts during the school day. Almost fifty percent said
they had done so on school owned devices.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Whoops.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Yeah, I mean one time I was talking to this
the student, and he was about I think he was
like seventeen, and he goes, you want to know where
I first got exposed to porn and how old I was,
And I'm like, yeah, sure, Oh I was.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
In third grade. Dang.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
And the kid in front of me turned around and said, hey,
check it out and looked, you know, and I looked
at his phone. Yeah, that's where I first was exposed
to porn. I mean, I've heard crazy, crazy, crazy stories.
Another friend of mine she was exposed or she was
watching pornography in her bioclass in high school, you know,
in the back. I mean, you know, the teachers wouldn't
(10:10):
know what your students.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Oh yeah, everybody's sitting there with the screen in front
of their faces.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
And you try your best, right, I mean, they have
got all these firewalls and they've got this great stuff,
but stuff.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Gets through it.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Just I mean, I dare say, if you're at all
watching Netflix or any of these, all of the content
out there, even if it is just more ubiquitous and
family oriented kind of thing, has sex scenes in it
that makes me super blush and fifty. Like, I just
(10:41):
think the lines have been removed and drawn, you know,
society in general has removed all sorts of barriers to
this type of content. And then of course it's just
at your magic fingertips on the Internet.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
And I think you and I I think we would
be below out of the water of the hardcore porn
the kids are watching.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
It's it's kind.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Of that gives any the Yeah, it really isn't a
crazy place. Of those who watched in the past week
of students in this thirteen to seventeen range of this
particular study, it said that eighty percent said they had
seen what appears to be rape, choking or someone in pain.
(11:28):
And again, I'm not trying to put this out here
there to fear monger. I'm just saying this is, this
is what's happening today, and it's pretty disturbing.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
And of course.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Violence that's out there with regard to pornography is mainly women, right.
I don't freight with the actual percentage is something like
ninety two percent or ninety five percent.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
It's it's huge, very very very.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Sad, and so you can imagine if kids are thinking, gosh,
this is what people do closed doors, right, this is
where they're getting their sex education from.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Is no wonder they don't no wonder they're not in
relationships or having you know, more committed monogamous you know,
go and get married type of scenarios and they're not
even dating. I mean, the stats on that are really
really disheartening as well. And it totally makes sense if
you think that's what you're gonna get when you're you're
(12:28):
hooking up with someone.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Right, forget it.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Billie Eilish, which a lot of you know, students like
Billy Aulish and my daughter liked Billie Eilish before she
was popular, I might say, but she said that it
totally she got addicted to porn. She started watching when
she was around eleven, and then as she got older,
she watched watched harder and hardercore porn. And she said
(12:51):
it totally messed up the way that she thought about relationships,
and she it just made her afraid actually to have
a loving relationship because if this is what people are doing, I.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Don't want any part of it.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
I had another girl at one of the local high
schools after class after I gave the presentation, she thanked
me and said, gosh, thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
I wanted to share something with you.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
And she told me that she got addicted to porn
when she was nine, and she said it was awful.
She goes, you know, I looked at my parents differently.
It just totally. You know, you've got a plastic brain
at that age, the plasticity, you know, the brain is
forming and it, yeah, it's just horrific what kids endure.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
And so she was just like, cash, thank you so
much for coming.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
And she got help and she talked to somebody and
she was doing well, but it was it's yeah, I
had another kid in two years one time at another
public high school, and he said he was addicted to
porn and he didn't know what to do and what
resources do you have? And that's when I started coming
out with, oh my gosh, I need to Okay, there's
an awareness level here, but there needs to be solutions
(14:00):
in a while and then exactly, and then that's when
I started coming up with, Okay, what are the resources,
what are the solutions?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Well to wrap up then, and when we come back
from our break, we'll get into some of the stuff
that you know, lessons that you're going to go through
in a classroom with kids.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
But you do.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
PRC does offer through you a parent instruction forum for
all of these things.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
So about two hours.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Long, and that's just if someone has a group of
friends they want to get together. This is just anywhere
out in the community set something up to work with
people's groups or whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Absolute cool. Well, okay, so everybody, we're going to take
a break here.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
My guest is Brenda Waybright from the Santa Cruz Pregnancy
Resource Center, and we will be right back here listening
to Mama Bears Radio, Mama Bear's Radio.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Welcome back to Mama Bear's Radio. Kristin Hurley here. This
is Safe and Effective Radio. We're here on AM thirteen
forty ko m Y, the home of Schoolhouse Radio. My
guest today this hour Brenda Waybright. She's from the Pregnancy
Resource Center here in Santa Cruz.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
She's the educator.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
She didn't quite have a title education lady. But she
goes into classrooms throughout Monterey Berry or Santa Cruz County
County and in freshman health class in middle school, and
she has a many hours of curriculum developed to take
kids through some of the tougher of the birds and
(15:51):
the abuse, tough subjects and online safety and all that
sort of stuff. So I invited her you're here today
just to talk it really about some things that she
covers and encourage listeners and be it parents or grandparents
or whoever, in helping the young people in their lives
talk about or be aware about these you know, rough
(16:12):
and tumble topics that kids didn't necessarily.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Ask for these days.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
It was rough enough growing up in the like seventies
and eighties, and now it's like compounded, and so there's
a lot of landmines out there. So Brenda, let's go
back to you. I mean, I thought we should just
try to cover some of the content that you might discuss, Okay,
you know, in your freshman class or.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
So, okay, guys, I'm gonna just kind of just read
some of the highlights.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
From our outline with teens are saying no, that's task. Task.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
Teens are saying no, like is in knowledge and no
is in a boundary line. Because the thing that I
talked to students about is the fact that the more
knowledge we have, the better able we are to make
the decisions for ourselves that we want, and knowledge's power,
as Francis Bacon said, So, I'm just going to read
you off a few things that we cover. We talk
(17:02):
about social media and impact on communication, social media and
your brain, and we have a great.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Video that goes with that.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
I'll ask the students to watch the video and pick
out maybe like five different facts out of thirteen, and
so I'll just read off a few of these facts
that I thought were kind of interesting in that particular video.
There is deterioration of white matter in regions of the
brain that control emotional processing, attention, and decision making. Now,
(17:31):
if I heard that my brain was deteriorating in any
part of my head. That would kind of freak me
out for a long crazy like we say that. I
just kind of whipped that out. But that's kind of
insane when you think about it. There is deterioration of
white matter in regions of the brain that control emotional processing, attention,
and decision making, which I'm sure all teachers out there
(17:52):
are going.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I real, hello, when talking in perils that way? Actually
it does, it really.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Does, right, It cooperates what we're thinking when talking in person.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Get this, this is kind of interesting.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Thirty to forty percent of communication is about oneself, right
when you and I are talking together. When you're online,
it jumps to eighty percent of that person.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Talking about themselves. Huh.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
So if I'm you know, on my phone my computer,
I'm going to talk about myself eighty percent of the time.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Like what you're posting on it, I'm just gonna be
talking about me. Yeah, me, me, me, me, me, and
me some more. Well, who all right? I like that
so cool? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
There's something else that happens when we're playing games online.
I've got a son who enjoys gaming and a lot
of a lot of students out there enjoy gaming.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Uh, it's there's a compulsion loop.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
And you can bet that these people that create these
online games are doing this on purpose because it's like
it's like being in Las Vegas or something. You know,
it's like that's what it's doing to the brain. Your
body releases, you know, small bursts of dopamine in this.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Get this, This is amazing.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
The same loop, this compulsion loop, deals with behaviors associated.
The same compulsion loop is the same kind of loop
that is dealt with with cigarette addiction and cocaine addiction.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
I believe it isn't that crazy myopia in the US.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Well, actually in Asia, like eighty to ninety percent of
the people are near sighted. And it's because then younger
and younger. Yes, right, and it's going and it's happening
more in the US as well. So anyway, those are
just a few things from that particular video that I
show in class.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Some of the things that we talk about.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
I mean, that's so not to interrupt it, like that's
degradation of yeah, your brain, of your.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Into crine system.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Right, if you're getting your juices, your dopamine, you'or like
you have addiction response. That's stress and wear and tear
on various systems of your body. I mean, this is
a physiological changing of yourself.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yep, yep. I was at homeschool phones im sorry to interrupt.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I was homeschool mom for about ten to twelve years,
and I went to this conference a long time ago
about homeschooling, and there was a psychologist speaking there.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
And he had like three different degrees.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
He read some study about how these kids that had
ADHD when they took them off of their screens and
when they sent them outside to actually shoot hoops and
bowl and do whatever, play football on soccer and so forth,
their ADHD disappeared, like the majority.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Of the raculum of these Yeah, yeah it was.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
And it was particularly I think it was focusing on
boys in this particular study. And this is a while back,
and so that guy said, he goes, I went home
and this is when we was around you remember the week, Yes,
those games and stuff, and he said he just threw
it away. He got his kids tennis rackets and real balls,
and he went and got all this real stuff and
he's like, that's it. We're not doing this anymore. You know,
(20:56):
it's just kind of funny. I thought, yep, we've all
had that.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Chuck this out the way.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Yeah, yeah, I mean that's not that you have to
do that, but that was he was just kind of
freaked out by the study that he was reading.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
So we also talk about nudes and the legalities of nudes.
This really hits.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Students because they don't realize that if that you are
sending what now we call child sex abuse material.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Aka child pornography.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
When you're sending a nude of someone and they're a minor,
that is child porn or child sex abuse material.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
They're trying to change it.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
To see sam because child children cannot consent to having exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
So this is your sixteen year old taking a nude
selfie and thinking she sending it to her boyfriend, right.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Which is yeah, like as common as common gets right now,
you know, in schools, in the public and the private schools,
and so the I give a couple local examples of students.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
That sent nudes.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
And both of these guys that were having new to
the girlfriends were eighteen and they're now registered sex offenders
because they were receiving nudes.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Yeah of legal technically, yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Their children Yeah, and uh and when I, you know,
say that, you can see the student's eyes just kind
of get as big as saucers.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
And the boys usually asked me a lot of questions
and uh, yeah, it's sad, but.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
True, good, good, good, and that has to be on
the radar. Yeah, it does.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
And I'll start it out with, hey, is it legal
in the state of California to have sex? And I'm
just trying to see, you know, and and students are like, well, yeah,
and then some students are like, no, it can't be.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
You know, it'll under eighteen, right, yeah, right? Is it
legally for miners? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:42):
And so anyway, that's how we kind of get into
talking about that, and that's always very interesting and it's
good for them to know because you know, again, with
the more knowledge we have, the better decisions we can make.
And so hopefully and I give them this think acrosstick,
which uh, let's see he stands for is it true?
(23:03):
H is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary?
And is it kind? And so I have the middle
schoolers actually memorize that, and the fifth and sixth graders
memorize that. Of course I don't do that in high school,
but I just introduced that as like, just you know,
if you just take thirty seconds and think and think
of that across dick at the same time, you know,
maybe that can save you, you know, trouble in the future.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, before you hit send, right, because before you share
what you just say, right.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Impulsivity and pet your past. Yes, yes, so.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
You know, again, trying to help trying to help students out.
We talk about cyberbowling, We talk about grooming. When I
was mentioning grooming at one particular high school that we
got into this year, which was exciting because we hadn't
been there and they.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Were thrilled to have us. The teacher was telling.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Me that, oh my gosh, yeah we had this coach
and he got nailed for or you know, being a pedophile.
And every time I tell a teacher this, we're talking
about grooming, they'll tell me about a story.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah they know someone, yeah, or you know another campus.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
I mean, this has happened on all campuses, because pedophiles
go where children are. Yes, And so I think, again,
this is helpful for kids to know what that looks like.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, where are the lines of like is h you
be having a full on hug from that Perpe right,
that appropriate exactly, And it's happening in person, but it
also happens online.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Mainly it's happening online. But how does that happen online?
What does that look like?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
And it's the same kind of thing where you're developing
a friend with someone that you think is your own
age and then you find out they're not your own age,
or maybe you know that they're not your own age,
but you just think that, oh, hey, it's cool to
have an older friend, and that person is like a mentor,
and they'll take as long as it takes because they're
just going for whatever it is that they want, whether
it's images or physical contact of abusing that child, that minor.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Pretty pretty crazy stuff, but it's good. Again, it's good
for us to be empowered with knowledge, huge, huge, huge.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
We talk about your digital footprint, meaning whatever you know
put online.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Like kids, I remember these one students just this year.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
They were going, so, wait a minute, like people are
going to look at my social media account and I said,
oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Like your employers will look at that. If you're going
for scholarships, be on your best friend, We're going to.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Be looking at your social media if it's of course,
if it's available to the public, which most people, they're
doing that. A lot of students are doing that. Not everybody,
but quite a few. And so there's been cases. There's
a guy who lost a D one scholarship because he
was posting all this nasty stuff online. He's making racist
comments and he was posting himself partying, and he had
(25:45):
a D one scholarship for football. And they called him
up and said, hey, we don't we don't want you
with us, we don't want you representing us.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yeah, exactly, see you you know, oh taking the classes?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
You mean, yes, yes, Brenda, we better posit here and
I could go forever, but we gotta take our break here,
so we'll come back in just a few minutes and
keep going. My guest here is Brenda Waybright. She's with
a pregnancy Freesturce center here in Santa Cruz. We're talking
about her classroom education. She goes into local schools and
helps kids with just to be aware.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Here's some resources.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Here's some instruction on how to navigate the crazy world
we're in. All right, everybody, this is I'm Kristin Hurley.
This is Mama Bears Radio. We'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Mama Bears Radio. We'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
All right, everybody, welcome back to Mama Bear Radio. Kristin
Hurley here, I'm going to get right back to my guest.
I'm super glad to have her in studio with me.
This is Brenda Waybright from the PRC Pregnancy Resource Center
here in Santa Cruz, and we're talking about the lessons
and resources she brings into local classrooms, talking about these
(27:18):
tough subjects with kids, about yes, yes, sucks, and responsibility
and the Internet. And as we were talking about in
the break, trafficking is that what does that look like?
Speaker 4 (27:32):
So trafficking is something else that we do cover in
our programmer presentation. In fact, I was asked by a
middle school teacher over at Scotts Valley Middle School to
begin a to do a trafficking presentation last year, and
then I expanded that out for this year and I
had five different classes for fifty minutes each and again
(27:55):
using interaction and videos and talking to the kids and
educating them on what human traffic as.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
And we were.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
Just talking about that off air, and my goodness, human
trafficking is I give the students stories actually porn and traffed.
Sex trafficking are intertwined, and a lot of times, well
not a lot of times, they do use pornography to
groom children, and.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
It's just we talk about grooming.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
That's another thing that we cover that I talked about too,
And with grooming, they try to either befriend that child
and they'll take as long as it takes, whether it's
a trafficker or a pedophile. Another way that many girls
get victimized is through Romeo pimp and the guy will
(28:48):
pick out a girl, could be in high school, could
be somebody that's working at a coffee shop that's a
young woman, and this man shows interest. He's charming, he's
good looking.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Very polite, probably has money, very kind. Yes, just someone
that like her dream guy. And they call him a
Romeo pamp.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
And this guy's agenda is to get this girl and
it usually works. I listened to a girl on the
radio one time, no it was a well podcast radio,
and she was talking about how this happened to her
in California at a coffee shop.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
She was eighteen years old and she.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Became this guy became her boyfriend quote unquote, and then
after dating for several months, he said, hey, why don't
we move in together, And he goes like, I've had
to place up in Washington and she's like, oh sure. Well,
then some kid that she knew from, like her former
youth group or something like that, her friend of hers.
This guy said to her parents, I think she's being trafficked.
So the parents called the police. Indeed, she had already
(29:50):
been sold to a sex traffick aingering down in Arizona,
and they just hadn't shipped her yet.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Hikes.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
I talked to another I sick. It's sick, yeah, because
they're product.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Yeah, yeah, it's a quantity. Yeah, sad, really sad.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
And then another time I was at the urgent care
and I was talking to a mom, just this mom
that I met at urgent care. I son broke his
wrist and we're talking and she had her little daughter there,
who looked to be about nine or ten. I told
her what I did, and she goes, well, let me
tell you a story. She goes, my daughter was getting
trafficked at a local middle school in Santa Cruz. And
(30:30):
my jaw internally was on the floor. Yeah, yeah, what what?
Her daughter was twelve? She was being trafficked by a
gang member who was fourteen years old. She was finding
like expensive things in her daughter's room and money. She
knew it didn't come from her dad's house, and she
was just kind of like, what is going on?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
She called the police. Her daughter had already been sold
to a sex trafficking.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
Ring and they were just kind of waiting for that
moment to ship her out wherever she was going to be. Yeah,
and in fact, the police told her and they said,
you guys need to just leave the state for a
couple of months, and she actually went out of state
for a couple of months.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
For their safety sake.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
And uh, but yeah, I just was like incredulous. I
just couldn't believe it. In my eyes were as big
as saucers.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
It was like, I mean, that makes it so ubiquitous.
It's like if you can't escape that in your in
like sunny Santa Cruz where everything's is perfect, No, it's
underneath everyone's noses.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Yeah, it was shocking, and so kids need.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
To learn that what this red flag signs for this
kind of stuff online?
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Right, And that's exactly what we do. We go over
like what you know, what do these things look like?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
You know?
Speaker 4 (31:45):
And what what are things to look out for? So
it's it's an excellent program. And we do think same
thing in the parent forum. We help the parents to
help their children determine what are the red flags. And
and then the other thing that we go a little
deeper on with the parents is talking about parental monitoring apps.
(32:06):
There's hardware apps that you can get to filter things
before it comes into the home, and then you can
get like software apps and stuff like that. So every
year I look and see what's the latest and the
greatest technologically speaking, and you know, I make a list
of those and I talk about that with the parents
and give them either free handout or they can you know,
send them something the email and so forth. But yeah,
(32:30):
those are you know, again just a few of the
topics we cover.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Another thing that I think is.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Super important is we talk about healthy versus on healthy relationships.
And if we have time, which hopefully we usually do
with the students, they work on this healthy relationship. It's
like a sheet that has you know, is this a
red flag or not. So for instance, number three says
gets jealous if you talk to someone else and they
(32:57):
work with a partner and they say whether it's a red.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Flag or not.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
And I think you know, there's a lot of kids
out there that don't come from healthy homes.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
When you don't come from a healthy home, so some
of the stuff is maybe normalized.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
And on, and you get into a relationship that's unhealthy
and you don't realize that it's all about power and control.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
You think this is.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Normal, and those are the people that are going to
be most vulnerable to predators, right right.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
It's easy to be preyed upon.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I mean, you could be preyed upon whether you come
from a vulnerable background or not. But the more vulnerable
you are, you know, these people seek out here's a
little target, yes, an easier target, yes, absolutely, So I
think it is important to talk about what does a
healthy relationship look like. We also talk about dating violence,
and I you know, ask students, why do you think
(33:46):
dating violence is there's a higher percentage of dating violence
amongst students or youth than there are adults.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
You know, again, just trying to get so weird, like
I'm looking at you like what yeah that So why
do you think, by just off the top of it,
given that that's even a thing. Yeah, my kids are
just more impulsive there's a direct line from I have
a feeling to I'm going to act it out as
(34:15):
opposed to you know we now we as an adult,
you have blockages on those sorts of reactions.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Right right, your brand new to relationships. Yeah, this is
a new thing, right, You've only been on the earth
for what fourteen fifteen, sixteen years and the brain.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Strikes hot, strikes hot, and hard.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Man hormones are raging, you know and stuff.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
So it yeah, and we don't always know obviously how
to react or act or what healthy looks like, or
that we shouldn't have scared that person by you know,
slamming our fist or I don't know, just doing something
that would be like what did you? In fact, I
was giving this presentation. I was at a local high
school and the police recalled because a guy had slammed
(34:59):
his girlfriend against the wall.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Oh yikes, K teaching moment, Yeah it was. It was
a great teaching moment. It's sad, very sad, but.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Well, and all of that again strikes back to like
what's acceptable, what's not right? And again like is this
applicable to the strange guy you just met online or
some random in the coffee shop? That seems to be
extra friendly. Are they crossing boundaries? What's you know, appropriate
and what's sort of questionable behaviors?
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Boundary lines, huge, huge, huge, It's important for kids to
know their boundaries. And I always tell them, hey, even
when you're in a relationship, you're if you're in a
romantically relationship, you like somebody, think about what your boundary
lines are before you're in the moment. And I use
that in the very beginning when we're talking about goals
in the presentation, and I say, prethink situations before it happens.
(35:56):
In other words, don't think about things like, oh, if
it happens, but think about it when when this happens,
what am I going to do? And again, that's arming
yourself with just wisdom, right, I mean, that's.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Just a smart thing to do. That would have saved
me a lot of trouble.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
I did a lot of really stupid things in high
school that I wish I hadn't done, you know, And
if I he thought it right, if we had prethought
out those situations ahead of time, or an if adult
said hey, you know, think about the consequences of your
behaviors before they happen, So don't think about when you're
in a hot and heavy moment. I use example of like, hey,
you go to some guy's house, or you go over
(36:33):
I just had someone you're crushing on. I don't use
you know, whatever, gender, but I just like, say you're
crushing on somebody, you go over to their house, and
that you think that the person's parents are home, but
they're not home, and that person grabs your hand and
is leading it to the upstairs bedroom. Well, if you've
already thought about it ahead of time, then you know
what you're going to do a strategy, right. You don't
(36:54):
wait on your heart and hormones to go, oh gosh.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
I really like those person, Oh my gosh, what am
I going to?
Speaker 4 (37:00):
You know, you you already have made that decision when
you were in your right mind, minus the hormones and
you know, the crushing and all that stuff. You know.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, it kind of gets back to having a certain
level of self respect of here's here's how I'm going
to treat myself well right by having kind of a
structured approach to right, Like trouble I could get into
or where where do I you know, how do I
want to look back on myself and think that you know,
I made the right calls in certain situations.
Speaker 4 (37:34):
Which is why the sheet is great, you know when
we're talking about healthy relationships, because it has thirty different
situations on here and it is good.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
And then they're talking about it.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
With another student, so it's not like, you know, they're
answering questions to me, but they're talking to each other.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
They can giggle, but secretly they're kind of you know,
making mental market.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Yes, yeah, it's good stuff. Well, we need to take
our last break here. Yeah, the hour is going to
disappear from us, so.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Everybody stay tuned, says Mama Bears Radio. I'm Kristin Hurley.
My guest here is Brenda Waybright. We are talking about the.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Rough topics that kids need to be talked about.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Brenda goes into the classrooms here in Santa Cruz County
and helps to instruct the kids and and just how
to how to be successful in these kind of rough
and tumble teen years and growing up and a bunch
of hard subjects. Sorright, everybody stay tuned. We'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Mama Bear's Radio Radio. We'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
Negative missions to get with your don't gut just likely
don't stop until we drove crazy.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Barn and nice.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
This line get you all.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Right, everybody, Welcome back to Mama Bear's Radio. Kristin Hurley here,
and my guest is Brenda Waybright, and we're going to
finish off our hour here. There's all sorts of good
stuff to get to, but I want to turn it
right back over to Brenda. We've been talking about instruction
and resources she brings into the classroom for students about
the rougher topics porn, sexual relationships, trafficking, you name it.
(39:16):
So we were talking a little bit over the break
about sexual integrity and advising kids on if you do
get into a relationship, how do you even work that? Right?
Speaker 3 (39:26):
That look like these Yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
So sexual integrity, just trying to teach students what that
even means. You know, what are morals, what is integrity?
And then you add sex to that and you have
sexual integrity and not going into the whole detail of it, right,
but I do go into the detail with the students
because as adults we do know what those things mean.
And so an example of sexual integrity it would be
(39:51):
respecting the other person's boundaries. So obviously there's consent, and
we do talk about consent in the classroom, and that
is like consent to have sex is respecting the other
person's boundaries.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
But there's also the not having.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
Sex and saying I respect that person person's boundaries to
not do that and not to push them because that
is manipulative and that is coercion, and that's an example
of an unhealthy relationship. And that's not respecting someone's boundaries.
So boundaries are huge, and it's hard because in the
(40:27):
classroom and in our society we're so hyper sexualized with
everything that I just.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Every star has their butt hanging out of their their
bumping and grinding, I mean the working that's been around
for a while.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
But yeah, yes, it's.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
It's pervasive, right, It is pervasive, and I think kids
it's very hard.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
It's hard for.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Kids when you're being constantly barraged with sexual messages from everywhere,
and then you've got their new deifying apps too.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Taylor Swift had.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
A deep fake porn made of her, which is a
newifying app, and that's another thing that's going on with
different kids. The exciting thing is, and you and I
were talking about this earlier, is there is the Take
It Down Act, which just came about like what May nineteenth,
I don't know. I already mentioned that, and that was
(41:21):
pretty exciting when a Texas teen was a victim of.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
Fake AI nudes.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
Now the new law requires platforms to remove that content,
and there is also something called take it Down, which
is when a person a minor has sent a nude
and they want that taken down permanently. They don't have
to send it to this company, but they just tell
the company who they are. Maybe they might describe the
(41:48):
image and their name or something like that, and then
they'll say, yeah, I sent it on Instagram or Snapchat,
or it was on TikTok or whatever wherever it was.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
And they now were platforms able to go and take it.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
Down permanently, which is wonderful because sometimes we do these
things when we're you know, again, when does the brain
fully developed, guna, when the brain fully twenty five?
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Yeah, approximately twenty five years old. So when I remember
when that happened with me? Actually, I think mine was
about thirty. For actually, they usually make that joke of
like for guys, I think it's thirty. It's funny.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
Some girl as seriously said that in the classroom. She goes, well,
I think for women it's twenty five and for men
it's thirty. And I was totally laughing as adults know,
you know that's a joke obviously. Yeah, but you know
somewhere really somewhere in the rage, right, Yeah, exactly. So
it is important again when we're talking about sexual integrity
to one not encouraging students to have sex. Because we
(42:45):
just talked about how sex is illegal between miners in
the state of California. The age of consent is eighteen
in California, and we do talk about that with the
kids that different states have different ages of consent, like
Nevada it is sixteen. I believe, Colorado it's seventeen, California
it's eighteen. So in the United States is sixteen seventeen.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
I'm impressed California. What I know is that weird.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
It doesn't make sense Austras.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Yeah, we have so many other oddities in our state.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
But uh, well, and I like, you know, we were
talking about because porn's pervasive, they're getting it when they're nine,
they're getting it when they're eleven in the classroom or
everywhere else. It's like distinguishing between a healthy relationship and
in a porn relationship or that you know, the kind
of you know, bump and grind you're going to get
(43:36):
from a porn world perspective versus what you're gonna have
or what you should have in a in a respectful, right,
one to one human relationship.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
And we do talk about that with the students. You
know what I bring on.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
I found this really excellent chart that talks about porn
how pornography tells lies about sex, and it does a
comparison between healthy sex and porn sex. You know, healthy
sex is loving, porn sex is violent. Healthy sex builds
emotional bonds. Porn sex leads to isolation. Healthy sex is selfless,
porn sex is selfish. You know, healthy sex is uplifting.
(44:16):
Porn sex is degrading. Healthy sex is empowering. Porn sex
is addicting and also poor. And sex is killing men's
sexual performance because they get attached to a screen, all
those hormones are released, they get attached to the screen,
and then when it comes to being in person, quite
often they can't have an erection. And I always tell
(44:37):
the guys, if I were a guy and I heard that,
there you go, that would be my motivation. Yeah, exactly,
to go find those porn addiction apps that help you
to get through or to work through your porn addiction
and beat it, conquer it.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Well, these kids have an uphill battle, and we're gonna
have to wrap up your Brenda. The hour always goes
so quick. I really appreciate the work that you do.
I am sure there's parents throughout the county over the
years that have been grateful for you saying the hard
things to their kids real quick. Just where can people
find you if they want more resources?
Speaker 4 (45:14):
Call the Pregnancy Resource Center for seven five twenty two
hundred in Santa Cruz. Give us a call and I'd
be glad to answer any questions or schedule a parent
forum or to talk to your homeschool groups too.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
Yeah exactly whatever he in your schools.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
All right, Well, thank you so much for joining me,
and everybody stay tuned for hour number two.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
I'll be right back. Komy Blaselva Beach the school outred
he pag
The California Mama Bears have been forced out of hibernation.
Fierce guardians of our future, Mama Bear's Fight or parents, Rice,
defense of the family, and God given freedoms everywhere. You're
listening to Mama Bear's Radio with your host, the New Normal,
(00:32):
Kristin Hurley.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All right, everybody, welcome to Mama Bear's Radio. Kristin Hurley here,
safe and effective radio, I might add, still and again
gold standard broadcasting. That's what I'm trying to say now,
moving forward and little hat tip to MAHA movement and
taking our country forward in the right direction. So I
(00:58):
was gone last week. I was actually here, but I
think I played some repeats. I'd had a heck of
a weekend, graduation and all sorts of stuff. It has
been NonStop grad parties. Let me just say, I'm a
little I'm a little partied out, and I didn't even
go to most of them, so kind of a whirlwind
couple of weeks. I know it's school's out time for everyone.
(01:20):
I hope everyone's doing well out there, enjoying the end
of the year festivities, whatever that is. And off we go.
I have a guest this hour and studio with me
so I am gonna stop my babbling right now, save
that for hour two if you want to stay tuned
for Kristen Babel, and we're gonna get right with it.
So this is Brenda Waybright. She is with the Pregnancy
(01:42):
Resource Center here in Santa Cruz. And thanks for joining
me today, Brenda. Oh so good to be here. Kristen,
it's a pleasure. Yeah, you're no stranger to the Steamed
radio stations here in town, yep. So I'm glad to
have you on today and we'll get right to it. So, I,
(02:02):
you know, over the years, have been to the PRC banquets.
You know, they're a local organization that really does support
women in all stages of pregnancy, before, during, and after,
women that need support and families that need support here
in town. Super super amazing resource and organization, the PRC.
So I have been at their their annual banquets, which
(02:23):
are fundraising events here in town, and I've heard Brenda speak. Now,
Brenda is out in the schools, so she's kind of
a community facing part of the PRC. And so I'm
gonna let you introduce yourself and talk about what you.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Do there at the at the PRC. Okay, great, Thank you, Kristin.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So again, my name is Brenda Waybright and I am
the education person at the public at the public at
the Pregnancy Resource Center PRC, and I go into the
public and private schools in Santa Cruz County. Mainly we
talk with the freshman health classes and we have a
(03:02):
really if I may say so, and I've heard this
from students and teachers alike, so I'm not just you know,
we're not just tooting our own horn here, but we
have a really excellent program. It's about two to three
hours and length, and we cover all just a myriad
of different topics, everything from social media safety, porn addiction,
(03:23):
legalities of nudes, the emotional and legal consequences of sending
nudes and so forth, and solutions.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
We always try to talk about.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Things that may be problematic, but also bringing solutions to
the table as well. We talk about sexual integrity. There
are just many, many different topics that we talk about.
And the really wonderful thing about the program is is
that it's interactive. So it's not just me as a
talking head, just you know, doing the want want, you know,
Charlie Brown thing, but it's asking kids questions it's letting
(03:58):
kids talk with each other about different things that are
in the program. And so the whole point is to
get them to think about their behavior and the possible
consequences of their behavior and boundaries, healthy boundaries. We talk
about healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships, teen dating, violence. There
(04:20):
are just many, many different topics that we cover, and
it's we also talk about STDs and again, you know,
solutions to all these issues as well.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
That's a lot packed into a couple hours.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
It is, it is, and that's just a freshman health class.
We also talked to middle schoolers and then we gear
that to them.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
That's about a two hour program.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
And then I did have a teacher that asked me
to develop a program on human reproduction and we do
have that for the you know, like.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Say fifth graders, sixth graders, that kind of thing.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
And the early birds and the bees, the early birds
and the bees.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
And then we talk about we have a little fifth
say a little like it's little, it's not.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
It's about a forty minute program for fifth and sixth
graders on strictly at social media, so to try to
get them because a lot of these kids have phones
and we're trying to get them also to think about
what's out there and just how to be safe online
and not to be afraid. But the more knowledge you have,
(05:24):
the more you're able to make better choices.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, exactly, discern, be discerning about what you're doing and seeing.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Well, I asked you here.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
You know, we don't necessarily have tons of children listening.
Maybe we do. I in general, they'd be in school.
But I love this hour of the afternoon. I've always
been on from two to four because to me, it's
mom drive time. Moms are out, school's getting out, you're
going after school activities. You know, it's starting to be
the early drive time. But I really think it's geared
(05:55):
towards the moms out there on the road, myself included
over the years. So I really wanted to have you
on just to speak about what it. You know, let's
go a little bit more in depth. Is the hour
unfolds here into some of the lessons and some of
the instruction you're walking the kids through, just so this
can be you know, instructive for parents. And I think
(06:17):
a lot of parents either are you know, know all
this kind of intuitively, maybe it doesn't really get discussed
at home, and.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I'm guilty of that too.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I think we all are like, there's some stuff You're
just like, I hope they get it that, you know,
based on my opinions and my instruction and other categories
of life. You know, I'm gonna skip this this topic.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
And just hope for the best.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Totally guilty of that, but I just think, you know,
you're unafraid to say these hard topics in front of
kids and classrooms and say those touchy words.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Let's say yes, So you.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Know, why not court parents and you know, families, moms
that might be listening this afternoon and help them either
be encouraged to have these conversations with their kids or
have it on their radar as well. That is a.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Perfect into intro kristin to the parent Forum.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
So one thing that I neglected to mention and that
I'm mentioning right now because this totally plays into it,
is that we do offer a parent forum.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
This is a perfect.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Place to find accurate, up to date information and in fact,
all the information that we give and I'm not trying
to just sound like I'm selling a car or something,
but when whenever we do the programs, I'm following I
subscribe to a myriad of different you know, websites like
(07:48):
the Children Mind Institute, Defend Young Minds.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Enough is enough.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
There's just many different organizations that send me information all
the time. And I and I you know, I read
those emails and it's like, oh my gosh, Wow, the
Take It Down Act just occurred, and that was just
signed into law, you know, like a week and a
half ago, I think, or something like that recent. Yeah,
So there's just so many new things going on. And
here's the beauty of the parent forum, you guys, especially
(08:14):
to you moms out there in the cars.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I was one of them. Is that the parent forum.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I'm the one that has done all the research on this.
So the Pregnancy Resource Center education person has done the
footwork for you. And I do a ton of studying,
a ton of research, watching podcasts, keeping up to date
and everything that's going on, so that you don't have
to me. Yes, of course, you're going to be listening
to what you like to listen to and so forth.
But I'm compiling information, and again it's on those subjects
(08:45):
like I'm going to read you just some This is
a new report finds most teens watch online pornography for instance.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
And why do I bring this up again. I'm not
fear mongering.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
This is just something that's very, very common right now
now in the schools. The report was based on a
national survey of thirteen hundred teenagers ages thirteen to seventeen.
They found that seventy five percent of boys and seventy
percent of girls said they had watched online pornography.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
The average age.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Started at twelve seven and ten admitted they watch porn intentionally.
Four in ten said they'd watch porn, including nudity and
sexual acts during the school day. Almost fifty percent said
they had done so on school owned devices.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Whoops.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Yeah, I mean one time I was talking to this
the student, and he was about I think he was
like seventeen, and he goes, you want to know where
I first got exposed to porn and how old I was,
And I'm like, yeah, sure, Oh I was.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
In third grade. Dang.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
And the kid in front of me turned around and said, hey,
check it out and looked, you know, and I looked
at his phone. Yeah, that's where I first was exposed
to porn. I mean, I've heard crazy, crazy, crazy stories.
Another friend of mine she was exposed or she was
watching pornography in her bioclass in high school, you know,
in the back. I mean, you know, the teachers wouldn't
(10:10):
know what your students.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Oh yeah, everybody's sitting there with the screen in front
of their faces.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
And you try your best, right, I mean, they have
got all these firewalls and they've got this great stuff,
but stuff.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Gets through it.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Just I mean, I dare say, if you're at all
watching Netflix or any of these, all of the content
out there, even if it is just more ubiquitous and
family oriented kind of thing, has sex scenes in it
that makes me super blush and fifty. Like, I just
(10:41):
think the lines have been removed and drawn, you know,
society in general has removed all sorts of barriers to
this type of content. And then of course it's just
at your magic fingertips on the Internet.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
And I think you and I I think we would
be below out of the water of the hardcore porn
the kids are watching.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
It's it's kind.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Of that gives any the Yeah, it really isn't a
crazy place. Of those who watched in the past week
of students in this thirteen to seventeen range of this
particular study, it said that eighty percent said they had
seen what appears to be rape, choking or someone in pain.
(11:28):
And again, I'm not trying to put this out here
there to fear monger. I'm just saying this is, this
is what's happening today, and it's pretty disturbing.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
And of course.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Violence that's out there with regard to pornography is mainly women, right.
I don't freight with the actual percentage is something like
ninety two percent or ninety five percent.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
It's it's huge, very very very.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Sad, and so you can imagine if kids are thinking, gosh,
this is what people do closed doors, right, this is
where they're getting their sex education from.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Is no wonder they don't no wonder they're not in
relationships or having you know, more committed monogamous you know,
go and get married type of scenarios and they're not
even dating. I mean, the stats on that are really
really disheartening as well. And it totally makes sense if
you think that's what you're gonna get when you're you're
(12:28):
hooking up with someone.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Right, forget it.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Billie Eilish, which a lot of you know, students like
Billy Aulish and my daughter liked Billie Eilish before she
was popular, I might say, but she said that it
totally she got addicted to porn. She started watching when
she was around eleven, and then as she got older,
she watched watched harder and hardercore porn. And she said
(12:51):
it totally messed up the way that she thought about relationships,
and she it just made her afraid actually to have
a loving relationship because if this is what people are doing, I.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Don't want any part of it.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
I had another girl at one of the local high
schools after class after I gave the presentation, she thanked
me and said, gosh, thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
I wanted to share something with you.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
And she told me that she got addicted to porn
when she was nine, and she said it was awful.
She goes, you know, I looked at my parents differently.
It just totally. You know, you've got a plastic brain
at that age, the plasticity, you know, the brain is
forming and it, yeah, it's just horrific what kids endure.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
And so she was just like, cash, thank you so
much for coming.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
And she got help and she talked to somebody and
she was doing well, but it was it's yeah, I
had another kid in two years one time at another
public high school, and he said he was addicted to
porn and he didn't know what to do and what
resources do you have? And that's when I started coming
out with, oh my gosh, I need to Okay, there's
an awareness level here, but there needs to be solutions
(14:00):
in a while and then exactly, and then that's when
I started coming up with, Okay, what are the resources,
what are the solutions?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Well to wrap up then, and when we come back
from our break, we'll get into some of the stuff
that you know, lessons that you're going to go through
in a classroom with kids.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
But you do.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
PRC does offer through you a parent instruction forum for
all of these things.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
So about two hours.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Long, and that's just if someone has a group of
friends they want to get together. This is just anywhere
out in the community set something up to work with
people's groups or whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Absolute cool. Well, okay, so everybody, we're going to take
a break here.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
My guest is Brenda Waybright from the Santa Cruz Pregnancy
Resource Center, and we will be right back here listening
to Mama Bears Radio, Mama Bear's Radio.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Welcome back to Mama Bear's Radio. Kristin Hurley here. This
is Safe and Effective Radio. We're here on AM thirteen
forty ko m Y, the home of Schoolhouse Radio. My
guest today this hour Brenda Waybright. She's from the Pregnancy
Resource Center here in Santa Cruz.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
She's the educator.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
She didn't quite have a title education lady. But she
goes into classrooms throughout Monterey Berry or Santa Cruz County
County and in freshman health class in middle school, and
she has a many hours of curriculum developed to take
kids through some of the tougher of the birds and
(15:51):
the abuse, tough subjects and online safety and all that
sort of stuff. So I invited her you're here today
just to talk it really about some things that she
covers and encourage listeners and be it parents or grandparents
or whoever, in helping the young people in their lives
talk about or be aware about these you know, rough
(16:12):
and tumble topics that kids didn't necessarily.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Ask for these days.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
It was rough enough growing up in the like seventies
and eighties, and now it's like compounded, and so there's
a lot of landmines out there. So Brenda, let's go
back to you. I mean, I thought we should just
try to cover some of the content that you might discuss, Okay,
you know, in your freshman class or.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
So, okay, guys, I'm gonna just kind of just read
some of the highlights.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
From our outline with teens are saying no, that's task. Task.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
Teens are saying no, like is in knowledge and no
is in a boundary line. Because the thing that I
talked to students about is the fact that the more
knowledge we have, the better able we are to make
the decisions for ourselves that we want, and knowledge's power,
as Francis Bacon said, So, I'm just going to read
you off a few things that we cover. We talk
(17:02):
about social media and impact on communication, social media and
your brain, and we have a great.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Video that goes with that.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
I'll ask the students to watch the video and pick
out maybe like five different facts out of thirteen, and
so I'll just read off a few of these facts
that I thought were kind of interesting in that particular video.
There is deterioration of white matter in regions of the
brain that control emotional processing, attention, and decision making. Now,
(17:31):
if I heard that my brain was deteriorating in any
part of my head. That would kind of freak me
out for a long crazy like we say that. I
just kind of whipped that out. But that's kind of
insane when you think about it. There is deterioration of
white matter in regions of the brain that control emotional processing, attention,
and decision making, which I'm sure all teachers out there
(17:52):
are going.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I real, hello, when talking in perils that way? Actually
it does, it really.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Does, right, It cooperates what we're thinking when talking in person.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Get this, this is kind of interesting.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Thirty to forty percent of communication is about oneself, right
when you and I are talking together. When you're online,
it jumps to eighty percent of that person.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Talking about themselves. Huh.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
So if I'm you know, on my phone my computer,
I'm going to talk about myself eighty percent of the time.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Like what you're posting on it, I'm just gonna be
talking about me. Yeah, me, me, me, me, me, and
me some more. Well, who all right? I like that
so cool? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
There's something else that happens when we're playing games online.
I've got a son who enjoys gaming and a lot
of a lot of students out there enjoy gaming.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Uh, it's there's a compulsion loop.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
And you can bet that these people that create these
online games are doing this on purpose because it's like
it's like being in Las Vegas or something. You know,
it's like that's what it's doing to the brain. Your
body releases, you know, small bursts of dopamine in this.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Get this, This is amazing.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
The same loop, this compulsion loop, deals with behaviors associated.
The same compulsion loop is the same kind of loop
that is dealt with with cigarette addiction and cocaine addiction.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
I believe it isn't that crazy myopia in the US.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Well, actually in Asia, like eighty to ninety percent of
the people are near sighted. And it's because then younger
and younger. Yes, right, and it's going and it's happening
more in the US as well. So anyway, those are
just a few things from that particular video that I
show in class.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Some of the things that we talk about.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
I mean, that's so not to interrupt it, like that's
degradation of yeah, your brain, of your.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Into crine system.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Right, if you're getting your juices, your dopamine, you'or like
you have addiction response. That's stress and wear and tear
on various systems of your body. I mean, this is
a physiological changing of yourself.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yep, yep. I was at homeschool phones im sorry to interrupt.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I was homeschool mom for about ten to twelve years,
and I went to this conference a long time ago
about homeschooling, and there was a psychologist speaking there.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
And he had like three different degrees.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
He read some study about how these kids that had
ADHD when they took them off of their screens and
when they sent them outside to actually shoot hoops and
bowl and do whatever, play football on soccer and so forth,
their ADHD disappeared, like the majority.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Of the raculum of these Yeah, yeah it was.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
And it was particularly I think it was focusing on
boys in this particular study. And this is a while back,
and so that guy said, he goes, I went home
and this is when we was around you remember the week, Yes,
those games and stuff, and he said he just threw
it away. He got his kids tennis rackets and real balls,
and he went and got all this real stuff and
he's like, that's it. We're not doing this anymore. You know,
(20:56):
it's just kind of funny. I thought, yep, we've all
had that.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Chuck this out the way.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Yeah, yeah, I mean that's not that you have to
do that, but that was he was just kind of
freaked out by the study that he was reading.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
So we also talk about nudes and the legalities of nudes.
This really hits.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Students because they don't realize that if that you are
sending what now we call child sex abuse material.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Aka child pornography.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
When you're sending a nude of someone and they're a minor,
that is child porn or child sex abuse material.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
They're trying to change it.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
To see sam because child children cannot consent to having exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
So this is your sixteen year old taking a nude
selfie and thinking she sending it to her boyfriend, right.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Which is yeah, like as common as common gets right now,
you know, in schools, in the public and the private schools,
and so the I give a couple local examples of students.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
That sent nudes.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
And both of these guys that were having new to
the girlfriends were eighteen and they're now registered sex offenders
because they were receiving nudes.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Yeah of legal technically, yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Their children Yeah, and uh and when I, you know,
say that, you can see the student's eyes just kind
of get as big as saucers.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
And the boys usually asked me a lot of questions
and uh, yeah, it's sad, but.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
True, good, good, good, and that has to be on
the radar. Yeah, it does.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
And I'll start it out with, hey, is it legal
in the state of California to have sex? And I'm
just trying to see, you know, and and students are like, well, yeah,
and then some students are like, no, it can't be.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
You know, it'll under eighteen, right, yeah, right? Is it
legally for miners? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:42):
And so anyway, that's how we kind of get into
talking about that, and that's always very interesting and it's
good for them to know because you know, again, with
the more knowledge we have, the better decisions we can make.
And so hopefully and I give them this think acrosstick,
which uh, let's see he stands for is it true?
(23:03):
H is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary?
And is it kind? And so I have the middle
schoolers actually memorize that, and the fifth and sixth graders
memorize that. Of course I don't do that in high school,
but I just introduced that as like, just you know,
if you just take thirty seconds and think and think
of that across dick at the same time, you know,
maybe that can save you, you know, trouble in the future.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, before you hit send, right, because before you share
what you just say, right.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Impulsivity and pet your past. Yes, yes, so.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
You know, again, trying to help trying to help students out.
We talk about cyberbowling, We talk about grooming. When I
was mentioning grooming at one particular high school that we
got into this year, which was exciting because we hadn't
been there and they.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Were thrilled to have us. The teacher was telling.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Me that, oh my gosh, yeah we had this coach
and he got nailed for or you know, being a pedophile.
And every time I tell a teacher this, we're talking
about grooming, they'll tell me about a story.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah they know someone, yeah, or you know another campus.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
I mean, this has happened on all campuses, because pedophiles
go where children are. Yes, And so I think, again,
this is helpful for kids to know what that looks like.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, where are the lines of like is h you
be having a full on hug from that Perpe right,
that appropriate exactly, And it's happening in person, but it
also happens online.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Mainly it's happening online. But how does that happen online?
What does that look like?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
And it's the same kind of thing where you're developing
a friend with someone that you think is your own
age and then you find out they're not your own age,
or maybe you know that they're not your own age,
but you just think that, oh, hey, it's cool to
have an older friend, and that person is like a mentor,
and they'll take as long as it takes because they're
just going for whatever it is that they want, whether
it's images or physical contact of abusing that child, that minor.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Pretty pretty crazy stuff, but it's good. Again, it's good
for us to be empowered with knowledge, huge, huge, huge.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
We talk about your digital footprint, meaning whatever you know
put online.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Like kids, I remember these one students just this year.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
They were going, so, wait a minute, like people are
going to look at my social media account and I said,
oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Like your employers will look at that. If you're going
for scholarships, be on your best friend, We're going to.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Be looking at your social media if it's of course,
if it's available to the public, which most people, they're
doing that. A lot of students are doing that. Not everybody,
but quite a few. And so there's been cases. There's
a guy who lost a D one scholarship because he
was posting all this nasty stuff online. He's making racist
comments and he was posting himself partying, and he had
(25:45):
a D one scholarship for football. And they called him
up and said, hey, we don't we don't want you
with us, we don't want you representing us.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yeah, exactly, see you you know, oh taking the classes?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
You mean, yes, yes, Brenda, we better posit here and
I could go forever, but we gotta take our break here,
so we'll come back in just a few minutes and
keep going. My guest here is Brenda Waybright. She's with
a pregnancy Freesturce center here in Santa Cruz. We're talking
about her classroom education. She goes into local schools and
helps kids with just to be aware.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Here's some resources.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Here's some instruction on how to navigate the crazy world
we're in. All right, everybody, this is I'm Kristin Hurley.
This is Mama Bears Radio. We'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Mama Bears Radio. We'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
All right, everybody, welcome back to Mama Bear Radio. Kristin
Hurley here, I'm going to get right back to my guest.
I'm super glad to have her in studio with me.
This is Brenda Waybright from the PRC Pregnancy Resource Center
here in Santa Cruz, and we're talking about the lessons
and resources she brings into local classrooms, talking about these
(27:18):
tough subjects with kids, about yes, yes, sucks, and responsibility
and the Internet. And as we were talking about in
the break, trafficking is that what does that look like?
Speaker 4 (27:32):
So trafficking is something else that we do cover in
our programmer presentation. In fact, I was asked by a
middle school teacher over at Scotts Valley Middle School to
begin a to do a trafficking presentation last year, and
then I expanded that out for this year and I
had five different classes for fifty minutes each and again
(27:55):
using interaction and videos and talking to the kids and
educating them on what human traffic as.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
And we were.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
Just talking about that off air, and my goodness, human
trafficking is I give the students stories actually porn and traffed.
Sex trafficking are intertwined, and a lot of times, well
not a lot of times, they do use pornography to
groom children, and.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
It's just we talk about grooming.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
That's another thing that we cover that I talked about too,
And with grooming, they try to either befriend that child
and they'll take as long as it takes, whether it's
a trafficker or a pedophile. Another way that many girls
get victimized is through Romeo pimp and the guy will
(28:48):
pick out a girl, could be in high school, could
be somebody that's working at a coffee shop that's a
young woman, and this man shows interest. He's charming, he's
good looking.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Very polite, probably has money, very kind. Yes, just someone
that like her dream guy. And they call him a
Romeo pamp.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
And this guy's agenda is to get this girl and
it usually works. I listened to a girl on the
radio one time, no it was a well podcast radio,
and she was talking about how this happened to her
in California at a coffee shop.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
She was eighteen years old and she.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Became this guy became her boyfriend quote unquote, and then
after dating for several months, he said, hey, why don't
we move in together, And he goes like, I've had
to place up in Washington and she's like, oh sure. Well,
then some kid that she knew from, like her former
youth group or something like that, her friend of hers.
This guy said to her parents, I think she's being trafficked.
So the parents called the police. Indeed, she had already
(29:50):
been sold to a sex traffick aingering down in Arizona,
and they just hadn't shipped her yet.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Hikes.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
I talked to another I sick. It's sick, yeah, because
they're product.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Yeah, yeah, it's a quantity. Yeah, sad, really sad.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
And then another time I was at the urgent care
and I was talking to a mom, just this mom
that I met at urgent care. I son broke his
wrist and we're talking and she had her little daughter there,
who looked to be about nine or ten. I told
her what I did, and she goes, well, let me
tell you a story. She goes, my daughter was getting
trafficked at a local middle school in Santa Cruz. And
(30:30):
my jaw internally was on the floor. Yeah, yeah, what what?
Her daughter was twelve? She was being trafficked by a
gang member who was fourteen years old. She was finding
like expensive things in her daughter's room and money. She
knew it didn't come from her dad's house, and she
was just kind of like, what is going on?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
She called the police. Her daughter had already been sold
to a sex trafficking.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
Ring and they were just kind of waiting for that
moment to ship her out wherever she was going to be. Yeah,
and in fact, the police told her and they said,
you guys need to just leave the state for a
couple of months, and she actually went out of state
for a couple of months.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
For their safety sake.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
And uh, but yeah, I just was like incredulous. I
just couldn't believe it. In my eyes were as big
as saucers.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
It was like, I mean, that makes it so ubiquitous.
It's like if you can't escape that in your in
like sunny Santa Cruz where everything's is perfect, No, it's
underneath everyone's noses.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Yeah, it was shocking, and so kids need.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
To learn that what this red flag signs for this
kind of stuff online?
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Right, And that's exactly what we do. We go over
like what you know, what do these things look like?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
You know?
Speaker 4 (31:45):
And what what are things to look out for? So
it's it's an excellent program. And we do think same
thing in the parent forum. We help the parents to
help their children determine what are the red flags. And
and then the other thing that we go a little
deeper on with the parents is talking about parental monitoring apps.
(32:06):
There's hardware apps that you can get to filter things
before it comes into the home, and then you can
get like software apps and stuff like that. So every
year I look and see what's the latest and the
greatest technologically speaking, and you know, I make a list
of those and I talk about that with the parents
and give them either free handout or they can you know,
send them something the email and so forth. But yeah,
(32:30):
those are you know, again just a few of the
topics we cover.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Another thing that I think is.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Super important is we talk about healthy versus on healthy relationships.
And if we have time, which hopefully we usually do
with the students, they work on this healthy relationship. It's
like a sheet that has you know, is this a
red flag or not. So for instance, number three says
gets jealous if you talk to someone else and they
(32:57):
work with a partner and they say whether it's a red.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Flag or not.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
And I think you know, there's a lot of kids
out there that don't come from healthy homes.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
When you don't come from a healthy home, so some
of the stuff is maybe normalized.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
And on, and you get into a relationship that's unhealthy
and you don't realize that it's all about power and control.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
You think this is.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Normal, and those are the people that are going to
be most vulnerable to predators, right right.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
It's easy to be preyed upon.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I mean, you could be preyed upon whether you come
from a vulnerable background or not. But the more vulnerable
you are, you know, these people seek out here's a
little target, yes, an easier target, yes, absolutely, So I
think it is important to talk about what does a
healthy relationship look like. We also talk about dating violence,
and I you know, ask students, why do you think
(33:46):
dating violence is there's a higher percentage of dating violence
amongst students or youth than there are adults.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
You know, again, just trying to get so weird, like
I'm looking at you like what yeah that So why
do you think, by just off the top of it,
given that that's even a thing. Yeah, my kids are
just more impulsive there's a direct line from I have
a feeling to I'm going to act it out as
(34:15):
opposed to you know we now we as an adult,
you have blockages on those sorts of reactions.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Right right, your brand new to relationships. Yeah, this is
a new thing, right, You've only been on the earth
for what fourteen fifteen, sixteen years and the brain.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Strikes hot, strikes hot, and hard.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Man hormones are raging, you know and stuff.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
So it yeah, and we don't always know obviously how
to react or act or what healthy looks like, or
that we shouldn't have scared that person by you know,
slamming our fist or I don't know, just doing something
that would be like what did you? In fact, I
was giving this presentation. I was at a local high
school and the police recalled because a guy had slammed
(34:59):
his girlfriend against the wall.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Oh yikes, K teaching moment, Yeah it was. It was
a great teaching moment. It's sad, very sad, but.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Well, and all of that again strikes back to like
what's acceptable, what's not right? And again like is this
applicable to the strange guy you just met online or
some random in the coffee shop? That seems to be
extra friendly. Are they crossing boundaries? What's you know, appropriate
and what's sort of questionable behaviors?
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Boundary lines, huge, huge, huge, It's important for kids to
know their boundaries. And I always tell them, hey, even
when you're in a relationship, you're if you're in a
romantically relationship, you like somebody, think about what your boundary
lines are before you're in the moment. And I use
that in the very beginning when we're talking about goals
in the presentation, and I say, prethink situations before it happens.
(35:56):
In other words, don't think about things like, oh, if
it happens, but think about it when when this happens,
what am I going to do? And again, that's arming
yourself with just wisdom, right, I mean, that's.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Just a smart thing to do. That would have saved
me a lot of trouble.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
I did a lot of really stupid things in high
school that I wish I hadn't done, you know, And
if I he thought it right, if we had prethought
out those situations ahead of time, or an if adult
said hey, you know, think about the consequences of your
behaviors before they happen, So don't think about when you're
in a hot and heavy moment. I use example of like, hey,
you go to some guy's house, or you go over
(36:33):
I just had someone you're crushing on. I don't use
you know, whatever, gender, but I just like, say you're
crushing on somebody, you go over to their house, and
that you think that the person's parents are home, but
they're not home, and that person grabs your hand and
is leading it to the upstairs bedroom. Well, if you've
already thought about it ahead of time, then you know
what you're going to do a strategy, right. You don't
(36:54):
wait on your heart and hormones to go, oh gosh.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
I really like those person, Oh my gosh, what am
I going to?
Speaker 4 (37:00):
You know, you you already have made that decision when
you were in your right mind, minus the hormones and
you know, the crushing and all that stuff. You know.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, it kind of gets back to having a certain
level of self respect of here's here's how I'm going
to treat myself well right by having kind of a
structured approach to right, Like trouble I could get into
or where where do I you know, how do I
want to look back on myself and think that you know,
I made the right calls in certain situations.
Speaker 4 (37:34):
Which is why the sheet is great, you know when
we're talking about healthy relationships, because it has thirty different
situations on here and it is good.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
And then they're talking about it.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
With another student, so it's not like, you know, they're
answering questions to me, but they're talking to each other.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
They can giggle, but secretly they're kind of you know,
making mental market.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Yes, yeah, it's good stuff. Well, we need to take
our last break here. Yeah, the hour is going to
disappear from us, so.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Everybody stay tuned, says Mama Bears Radio. I'm Kristin Hurley.
My guest here is Brenda Waybright. We are talking about the.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Rough topics that kids need to be talked about.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Brenda goes into the classrooms here in Santa Cruz County
and helps to instruct the kids and and just how
to how to be successful in these kind of rough
and tumble teen years and growing up and a bunch
of hard subjects. Sorright, everybody stay tuned. We'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Mama Bear's Radio Radio. We'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
Negative missions to get with your don't gut just likely
don't stop until we drove crazy.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Barn and nice.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
This line get you all.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Right, everybody, Welcome back to Mama Bear's Radio. Kristin Hurley here,
and my guest is Brenda Waybright, and we're going to
finish off our hour here. There's all sorts of good
stuff to get to, but I want to turn it
right back over to Brenda. We've been talking about instruction
and resources she brings into the classroom for students about
the rougher topics porn, sexual relationships, trafficking, you name it.
(39:16):
So we were talking a little bit over the break
about sexual integrity and advising kids on if you do
get into a relationship, how do you even work that? Right?
Speaker 3 (39:26):
That look like these Yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
So sexual integrity, just trying to teach students what that
even means. You know, what are morals, what is integrity?
And then you add sex to that and you have
sexual integrity and not going into the whole detail of it, right,
but I do go into the detail with the students
because as adults we do know what those things mean.
And so an example of sexual integrity it would be
(39:51):
respecting the other person's boundaries. So obviously there's consent, and
we do talk about consent in the classroom, and that
is like consent to have sex is respecting the other
person's boundaries.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
But there's also the not having.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
Sex and saying I respect that person person's boundaries to
not do that and not to push them because that
is manipulative and that is coercion, and that's an example
of an unhealthy relationship. And that's not respecting someone's boundaries.
So boundaries are huge, and it's hard because in the
(40:27):
classroom and in our society we're so hyper sexualized with
everything that I just.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Every star has their butt hanging out of their their
bumping and grinding, I mean the working that's been around
for a while.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
But yeah, yes, it's.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
It's pervasive, right, It is pervasive, and I think kids
it's very hard.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
It's hard for.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Kids when you're being constantly barraged with sexual messages from everywhere,
and then you've got their new deifying apps too.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Taylor Swift had.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
A deep fake porn made of her, which is a
newifying app, and that's another thing that's going on with
different kids. The exciting thing is, and you and I
were talking about this earlier, is there is the Take
It Down Act, which just came about like what May nineteenth,
I don't know. I already mentioned that, and that was
(41:21):
pretty exciting when a Texas teen was a victim of.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
Fake AI nudes.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
Now the new law requires platforms to remove that content,
and there is also something called take it Down, which
is when a person a minor has sent a nude
and they want that taken down permanently. They don't have
to send it to this company, but they just tell
the company who they are. Maybe they might describe the
(41:48):
image and their name or something like that, and then
they'll say, yeah, I sent it on Instagram or Snapchat,
or it was on TikTok or whatever wherever it was.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
And they now were platforms able to go and take it.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
Down permanently, which is wonderful because sometimes we do these
things when we're you know, again, when does the brain
fully developed, guna, when the brain fully twenty five?
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Yeah, approximately twenty five years old. So when I remember
when that happened with me? Actually, I think mine was
about thirty. For actually, they usually make that joke of
like for guys, I think it's thirty. It's funny.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
Some girl as seriously said that in the classroom. She goes, well,
I think for women it's twenty five and for men
it's thirty. And I was totally laughing as adults know,
you know that's a joke obviously. Yeah, but you know
somewhere really somewhere in the rage, right, Yeah, exactly. So
it is important again when we're talking about sexual integrity
to one not encouraging students to have sex. Because we
(42:45):
just talked about how sex is illegal between miners in
the state of California. The age of consent is eighteen
in California, and we do talk about that with the
kids that different states have different ages of consent, like
Nevada it is sixteen. I believe, Colorado it's seventeen, California
it's eighteen. So in the United States is sixteen seventeen.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
I'm impressed California. What I know is that weird.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
It doesn't make sense Austras.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Yeah, we have so many other oddities in our state.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
But uh, well, and I like, you know, we were
talking about because porn's pervasive, they're getting it when they're nine,
they're getting it when they're eleven in the classroom or
everywhere else. It's like distinguishing between a healthy relationship and
in a porn relationship or that you know, the kind
of you know, bump and grind you're going to get
(43:36):
from a porn world perspective versus what you're gonna have
or what you should have in a in a respectful, right,
one to one human relationship.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
And we do talk about that with the students. You
know what I bring on.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
I found this really excellent chart that talks about porn
how pornography tells lies about sex, and it does a
comparison between healthy sex and porn sex. You know, healthy
sex is loving, porn sex is violent. Healthy sex builds
emotional bonds. Porn sex leads to isolation. Healthy sex is selfless,
porn sex is selfish. You know, healthy sex is uplifting.
(44:16):
Porn sex is degrading. Healthy sex is empowering. Porn sex
is addicting and also poor. And sex is killing men's
sexual performance because they get attached to a screen, all
those hormones are released, they get attached to the screen,
and then when it comes to being in person, quite
often they can't have an erection. And I always tell
(44:37):
the guys, if I were a guy and I heard that,
there you go, that would be my motivation. Yeah, exactly,
to go find those porn addiction apps that help you
to get through or to work through your porn addiction
and beat it, conquer it.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Well, these kids have an uphill battle, and we're gonna
have to wrap up your Brenda. The hour always goes
so quick. I really appreciate the work that you do.
I am sure there's parents throughout the county over the
years that have been grateful for you saying the hard
things to their kids real quick. Just where can people
find you if they want more resources?
Speaker 4 (45:14):
Call the Pregnancy Resource Center for seven five twenty two
hundred in Santa Cruz. Give us a call and I'd
be glad to answer any questions or schedule a parent
forum or to talk to your homeschool groups too.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
Yeah exactly whatever he in your schools.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
All right, Well, thank you so much for joining me,
and everybody stay tuned for hour number two.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
I'll be right back. Komy Blaselva Beach the school outred
he pag
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