Episode 2 Married With Autism with Eric and Bre "The Dating Phase"

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Episode Transcript

(00:08):
Ce Be Supremes. Welcome to themarrit with Autism Podcast, a podcast as
designed to help neuro diapert and neurotypicalcouples, quote married and single learn how
to develop a happy, healthy ata set of amriage and Christmas trip supple.
Now, before we jump into theshow with our favorite host, property
is Brief Smilth and Pastor Eric Smilty, please enjoy these words from our sponsors.

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(01:41):
welcome to another episode of Married withAutism with Pastor Eric Smith and Prophetess Breece
Smith. We are so excited foryou guys to be listening in tonight.
So tonight we're actually doing it onstream yard because we were having some issues
with zoom. Who knows we mightstick with this, but yes, yes,
yes, again, Welcome to marryanother episode with Married with Autism.

(02:02):
We cannot wait to just share moreabout our journey with you guys. We
are very, very very excited justto even hear more marriage testimonies and just
hear more about what's going on withyou all. So we're excited about that.
But you know how we do.We always like to jump right into
prayer, and then we want tojump right into tonight's topic. A man,

(02:25):
all right, so you can goahead and start this. Unlet's buy
our heads for ord to prayer,Father God and the namages we just come
to you tonight just telling you thankyou, first and foremost, thank you
for allowing us to come on thislive once more God, and to share
our testimony and our experiences God,Father God, I just pray for couples
out there that are either dating rightnow or that are like very close to

(02:47):
being married God, or that arealready married, and that they can hear
like our stories and know that hey, if they've gone through those, then
I can get through these this storyguys. So right now, Father God,
I just thank you for this opportunity. We don't take this lightly.
I don't take this lightly. Briannadoesn't take it lightly. We are just
being obedient to you God, likesharing our own testimony and giving tips on

(03:10):
how to help you know, especiallythose like in the dating phase when they
know that you know the individual thatthey're with their spouse. And I just
thank you follow God for just thewisdom and not just the experience, but
just the revelation, like after goingthrough these experiences on our own, and
may may may our words and thatthe words that you guide us with guide

(03:32):
us with them from our mouths beyour words, and we decrease, so
you increase, God, so rightnow, follow God. We just surrender
our will and our and our owndesires to you, and we just let
let you God what we say andwhat we do. Tonight, I love
you, and I honor you,and it's in your name we pray Amen.

(03:52):
Amen. All right. And sotonight, like I said, we're
just going to talk a little bitabout our dating phase, right, and
then we're gonna give a scripture.So the one scripture we're gonna be basing
this off of tonight is going tobe First Corinthians chapter six, twelve through
twenty. So once again, I'mvery excited about that. All right,

(04:15):
So with us, you know,so my ended off last week talking about
how me how God had told mehe had told me that Eric was my
husband, I think within our firstmonth of dating. And I know he
did that, like I said,because he wanted me to stop, you
know, pursuing other people and reallylike focus in on the one relationship.

(04:38):
But I did not tell Eric,like I said, I did not tell
him right away what the Lord said. I just kind of let everything play
out and watch the fruit of that. Well, anyways, we are I'm
gonna lie. So when we weretalking, you know, I was excited
at that point. You know,you excited when the Lord says, oh
my god, such such as yourhusband. Right, So at that point
in time, that's when the factuationgrew. Right. So I'm sitting here,

(05:00):
you know, you know how youknow how you do with your boot
when you first get together with them, y'all excited, y'all googly eye and
stuff like that. That's how itwas with us constantly talking on the phone.
How long are you talking? Uponher? I would go to work.
I remember going to work because Iwas working third shift, and we
would I would go to work aboutnine o'clock, so we would be on

(05:21):
the phone from like nine. I'msitting here trying to get my shift workers
together, and then we wouldn't getoff the phone till like but midnight,
Yeah, by midnight exactly. It'sfunny, I mean now it is looking
back on that, but that's justhow you know, intense we were in
our pursuit. Well, anyways,when we first met, we ended up
meeting on our first date. Atthe time, I was living in Richmond,

(05:44):
so he actually lived in Manassas,and Manassas is two hours away from
Richmond, so I remember him drivingdown do you want to talk about that.
Yeah, we're getting ready to jumpinto that, and then we'll jump
into when we actually Yeah, Someeting Brianna, like I had to make
sure I was on top of things, and yeah, I know she clowns

(06:08):
me about like how I addressed atthe time too. But the thing that
I take Friday in the most waslike how my car was the day day
before. I literally and my motherwill remember this, so I literally had
my car shined up, put itin the garage, and then she asked
me, like, what's that cardoing in my space? Because you know
she can she huge the only onethat parked on you know, that's side

(06:30):
of the garage. My dad,you know, overtook the other side with
his tools. But anyway, anotherlater down the road, another story.
But yeah, I had had itcleaned up, you know, had the
wheel shine and everything, and Itold her I'm meeting a young lady.
And then the day day after that'swhen I came down met a met Brianna.
We you know, like like shesaid, we met at Richmond because
she lived at Richmond at the time. And then next thing, you know,

(06:54):
I'm just in whild I think Iwas getting something to drink or I
don't know what I was doing.And then I see her and I'm like,
hey, you must be Brianna,And I didn't know what to say
because this was like the first timeseeing her in person, like, oh,
this is really Brianna, trying tomatch her up with the picture that
she had at the time, andthen she saw me and then we just

(07:15):
took it from there. So thatwas how I am. That's his that's
that's his experience. So for me, you know, I'm not gonna lie
like I was excited. I'm excited, right. You got to understand,
at the time, I was stilltraveling in my corporate job doing remodels,
setting up stores, everything like that, because I was project manager, and
so I was able to come backhome, and at the time, I

(07:35):
only could come back home once amonth, so I got to meet him
during mine. We called it downtime, our vacation time, or whenever we
were off the road, because wewere on and off the road all the
time, and so I ended upgetting back home. I'm excited. We
planned to meet in a neutral placebecause I'm like, I don't know you
do like that, dude. Sowhat we ended up going to Wildwi I'm

(07:56):
meeting. I was like, I'mgonna meet him at the wild while like
near me, but not too close, because like I said, I don't
know you like that. And soI end up meeting and the first thing
I thought was, oh my god, this dude got a long head,
like like you got an egg shapehere. That's what I thought. I
mean, I know, but likeyou know, And I was like,
but he's still cute. I said, I'll deal with him, right,

(08:18):
And so from there we ended updriving to the movies. I don't know
how he did that. I don'tknow if if if we ended up driving
like separately to the movies or ifI think we did because we were like
driving our own vehicles, so wedrove separately, so I think he followed
me across town. We went tothe movies. I don't remember what movie

(08:39):
we saw. I know its somethingwith Tarajer p Henson in it at the
time. But it was funny becausewhen we were ordering the popcorn and stuff
and me, I'm not one ofthem girls I love to eat. He
knows what foody was. He knowsI'm gonna eat like I'm not gonna be
sitting there let me get a salad. It's a lot like, that's not
me. So I decided I wasgonna get some popcorn, right. I

(09:03):
was like, okay, let's getsome popcorn. And we got a medium
bag. I didn't get a large. Now we know better we get large,
but we got a medium bag tosplit. And then you know,
we got two drinks. And sobefore the movie start, I literally was
eating the popcorn and I had gotdone eating half of min and I will
never forget to look on Eric's facebecause Eric was looking at me like this,

(09:24):
I really just eat this hop likeeat half this bad. But I
was like, we said we wasgonna split it. I'm like, here's
the rest for you, right,and he was like, nah, you
keep that bag and he ain't gonnaThat was so funny to me, and
like I said, completely funny.Absolutely adored it at the time. And
like I said, our relationship atthe time, even though I lived in

(09:45):
the state, it was still verylong distance. I mean even with him,
like I said, he lived twohours away or we lived two hours
away from each other, and likeI said, I was always on the
road, traveling all the time.And so at that particular moment, in
time, like I said, andyou know your your feelings are starting to
grow. You got deep infatuation forone another. But I remember ever a

(10:07):
time where I ended up asking Lord. I was like, all right,
Lord, you're gonna have to showme this man because what I don't want
is I'm in this relationship with thisman, I end up marrying this man
and then once we get married,it's like boom, the cats out,
the bag, the shoe drop,and I will and I'm not prepared for
it, right. So I rememberspecifically praying for that, And I think

(10:28):
it's very important that couples do that, not just the wife. I believe
that the husband. I mean,y'all need to be praying this during your
dating phaith so that you're not caughtup when somebody when you like, wait
a second, I didn't know youwas like that, or you have these
issues and all this stuff, right, because you got understand we're not we're
not perfect people, right. Andanother thing I know I would always tell,

(10:50):
especially women, because like I said, we have these long lists of
demands and standards and and and andand that times I'm like, man,
the only person who's gonna reach thislist, baby is Jesus, and Jesus
ain't gonna come down and be withyou like that, not on that level,
right, And so it's just likeas women we have to learn.

(11:11):
I'm not saying, don't have yourstandards not high, because like I said,
we don't want no man chaild livingin our house. All he doesn't
sit on is behind all day playvideo games. He ain't contributing to the
household. He won't. You know, let's be real, because it's a
marriage ministry. He wants sex fromyou. You got kids, You take
care of your kids, but heain't doing nothing. They to me,

(11:31):
that's a problem. That's a realproblem. And so we have to get
to that place like, yeah,we need the hashids, But like I
said, your standardshipn't be so high, right, I love it somebody,
Especially when I was going through mydating place, I would watch a lot
of people talk about, you know, when they would meet their partners and
stuff like that. But they wouldtalk about how you want somebody that's on

(11:52):
your level. Okay. So forinstance, if you want a man,
So this is just for ladies,So if you want a man, you
want this business owner. Okay,you want this man that's a business owner,
he's a six figure earner, hegot a he got a nice,
fabulous body. You know, heloves his family, gorgeous, laugh,

(12:13):
you know, smile, all thistype of stuff. You you expect him
to be this. You know,he has really good characteristic manners, all
that integrity. But you have toalso understand that that same man is gonna
want somebody on that same level.And so the problem is a lot of
us want people that are that areat a certain level. And I'm not
saying that we cannot get that,but we have to understand are we ready

(12:37):
to meet those expectations as well?And if we're not, then we need
to stop saying, oh, yeah, you gotta be like this, because
if not, you're setting yourself upa failure. Right, And then what
you don't want is you're dealing withwhat's it, uh, count I can't
even think of it. It's thatsyndrome, counterfeit syndrome or something like that,

(12:58):
yes, imposter syndrome, right,because then you're thinking like, oh,
man, you know, you don'tthink you're good enough when you get
in a relationship and all that,and then you know theer it can go
into a whole narcissistic thing where oneperson has power and abuse because they don't
feel like they're loved or they feellike they're wanted. And so I think
it's very important that, like,you know, stuff like that is discussed

(13:20):
during the Dayton phase. And Ilove it too. I know we've liked
a lot of people like talk aboutpreflow dollar or really don't listen to him
a whole whole lot. But therewas something that was triggered online where he
was talking about during the dating phaseand types of questions you should be asking
a partner, and he was like, if you were to die tomorrow,
can you pay you have life insuranceto pay for your own funeral? How's

(13:46):
your credit school? Do you liketo cook? Do you exercise? Can
I see you without your makeup?You know what I mean? Just different
questions, you know what I'm saying. Stuff that's very important because a lot
of people, like I said,they get into these relationships and you know,
when you first because you know whatI'm talking about, when you first
get in a relationship with somebody,you always gonna put your best foot forward.

(14:07):
You ain't gonna let nobody see youknow your bad habits and your bad
character traits, you're gonna always putyour best foot forward. And so,
like I said, I think it'svery important that you're just open and honest
during that particular portion or pt duringthe sticular portion of the dating base.

(14:28):
And like I said, as wellas asking the lord to uncover, to
reveal different things that are going on, right, that is very important because
if not, and like I said, you end up blindsided, you gonna
end up being angry because you didn'tdo your due diligence during the dating phase.
And so with that being, someonepass that part to my husband too,

(14:50):
so he can discuss a little bitabout that and then we'll jump right
into the next thing. Yes,like with the dating, I forgot someone
said at one time, but whenit comes a dating, when you're dating
a particular you're a potential partner,you're just gathering data on them. And
when I thought about that, whenI first heard about that, like you're
just learning about you know, theircharacteristics, like what they like, their

(15:13):
dislikes, how they are with certainthings out they you know, react with
certain things, and you you gotto like, you know, it's like
a testing trial. And I knowfor me, when it came to dating,
and this is how Jack of theWorld is because I'm not gonna lie.
I'm gonna call the world out orwhat it is. When it comes
to like dating and romance, relationshipsall that stuff, the world just has

(15:37):
a They just put the one sizefits off with the dating. And when
you dating, like seek someone inGod's way, God will reveal like who
that person is, like their strengths, their weaknesses, and even like they
passed. And I know, likelike when her and I talked, like
she revealed like everything to me,Like it was like, why is she
talking to me about this right now? And and at first I'll get like

(16:02):
she liked it. Now I don'tknow how she really is, but you
know I learned, you know,later on. That's another episode of Another
Day. But like when you whenyou gather data on somebody, you're like
learning like who they are, andthey're learning who you are as well,
like and it's really important, likeyou know, for the fellas, like
really really guard yourself up from youknow, the dangerous ones, the ones

(16:26):
that just want to use you andabuse you. Because I've I've had experiences
you know with that like before,as I you know, shared in the
first podcast, like I was usedby you know, my ex girlfriend when
it came to us dating, andshe potentially wanted to go on vacation with
me and just get a free ride. Girl didn't drive, and I'm like,
nope, I can't do that.And then you know, by the

(16:48):
time I came to Rihanna, likeshe she had certain things established and you
know, her working driving on theroad. Yes that the long distance was
hard, but at the same time, I just think out there that first
experience had to happen because like Igot a data on somebody before and the
data wasn't in line with what youknow, it was for me and what

(17:08):
God had for me. So Godwas like, okay, so I'm gonna
provide Frianna for you. Little didI know that she was my wife at
the time, even though the Lordspoke to her before. And I'm like
okay, and I just started youknow acting. You know, we just
started off as friends, because youknow, starting off as friends and easing
into it that that is how Idid it. And I just advised,

(17:29):
like the fellas, just start offas friends, like you don't have to
like for every guy out there,you don't have to just say, oh
yeah, I like this girl.Oh yeah, I want to you know,
you know how it goes fellas,you now, it goes when you
just when you have those thoughts,because you gotta respect them too, because
they're the God's precious people. God'sGod created, you know, his daughters

(17:52):
for a purpose. Like they're notthey're not you know, pieces of me,
they're outside pieces or nothing like that. No, he created them just
as much is he created us,fellas and the unique roles that we have
on this earth. But that's justmy psa right there for the gentleman with
fellas like, treat them with respect, treat them with respect them, and
then they'll treat you with respect atthe end of the day, because after

(18:15):
all, we like to be respectedto like us as men, right right.
And you touched on a lot ofgood points, Fade. I remember
praying to God that Lord send mea man to where I can't open up
enough to him to let him knowabout my past and what I've been through,
but allow him to be able toto kind of help me and not

(18:38):
judge me based off my past,right and can still love me through it.
And that was and I hate tosay it, it's almost like I
was testing Eric, because I waslike, okay, lord, you said
it's my husband. But I alsoknow when I prayed to you, I
wanted a man that, like Isaid, I can open, I can
have an open, honest conversation andhe not run away. You see what

(18:59):
I'm saying, because it's a lotof people couldn't handle. Oh man,
you grew up abuse. Listen,girl, I don't want to hear that.
I don't want to hear that.I don't want to hear about nothing
you got going on, you knowwhat I mean. And so with that
being said, you know, especiallyyou know, and then dealing with the
relationships I'd been in and things likethat, you know, so I was
I felt free. I was okay, like this dude really just listens.

(19:22):
And I just love the fact thathe would just listen to me, right,
because a lot of times that's women. It's all you want. You
just want a man that was listento us, right. And so I
really did appreciate that about him.And then another good point that he brought
up was the fact I was establishedright, Like, I had my own
place, I was paying my ownbills, I knew how to cook right,
I have my own vehicle. Iwas, you know, I was

(19:45):
making really good money. I meanI thought for a single twenty some year
old, I was making like closeto sixty thousand dollars a year. And
so for me, it was justlike, okay, lord, I'm ready
for my next like I'm ready tobe married or I thought I'm gonna say
that. I thought I was readyto be married and so and and it
was crazy because, like I said, Eric, even though he didn't have

(20:07):
his own place, because at thetime he was living with his parents.
You know what I mean, hewas living with his parents, but he
had a job, he had acar, he had money. You see
what I'm saying. And that's anotherthing because I'm telling you, like us,
when we'll do all that, buthe's still with his mama. I
ain't dealing with that, you knowwhat I mean. Now, don't now,
don't get me wrong. You knowwhat I mean, Like you probably

(20:29):
don't want that, But at thesame time, like you're going to miss
out on a good man or passsomebody up because they don't have that particular
quality right on your checkliss and so, like I said, that's that's just
our story, right. But evenin that, you know what I mean.
Came the lust, right, Andthis is what I wanted to talk

(20:49):
about tonight before we close, withjust this lust part, because like I
said, we were very much likeinfatuated with each other, very lustful.
And I realized too, you know, I was lustful on my own right,
but I also knew like he hadthis like he had a I could
just sense it, you know whatI mean, Like he had this very

(21:10):
strong lust on him. And Iwas like, what is this? Like
perverse it? Like you know whatI mean, I'm telling you, because
I would just be like, whatis going on with your Lord? Like
something's just not right? And youknow, like I said, you asked
God questions, he gonna slowly revealhim and I found out he was going
to strip clubs and this all kindsof stuff now a lot of y'all.

(21:33):
Like I said, no my testimony, growing up, I was addicted to
pornography growing up, you know whatI mean. I got introduced to that
at a very young age. SoI can never like judge him for you
know what I'm saying. But itwas just like oh my god, you
know what I mean, Like,Lord, you're supposed to be giving us
man to me and he over here. He won't be you know what I'm
saying. So it was it wasvery during that time. It was like,
okay, Lord, you're gonna haveto help me. You saying this

(21:55):
man and my husband, well,you're gonna talk together. Because it was
like the Lord wouldn't even allow meeven though I knew he was going to
strip clubs because that's the profit,I couldn't even address it. I had
to literally go to the Lord andsay, Lord, I need you to
deal with him on that. Andit was crazy because I think it was
right after Thanksgiving, Babe, thatyou had came. I think I don't
know ifhy I went to meet yourparents Thanksgiving. No, it wasn't that

(22:18):
Thanksgiving. We were I don't knowwhat we were doing. I don't know.
I don't remember. I don't rememberif he came to my house,
but it was something that we didfor after thanks Now. I think we
had met up the weekend afterwards forThanksgiving and he was just on the road,
like we were all just driving inhis car and he looked at me
and said, I'm not gonna lieI go to strip club you know,
And like I said, I've beenproud about him because I couldn't. I

(22:40):
felt like I couldn't address it headon because he would have been looking at
me like, how do you knowthis? You know what I mean?
So I had to wait for himto openly have this conversation. And then
it was like once he started talkingabout that, and then too, there
was something else that I found outat the time, Oh around this time
as well. It was the time, you know, I could I kept
noticing them with some things off,like missing pieces of the puzzle. Like

(23:03):
we would have certain conversations and thenI feel like Eric would just harp on
certain subjects and I'd be like,why is this man always talking about cutting
the grass? Or why is thisman always talking about washing his car?
Like I was, I'm sitting therelike I don't care about in my mind,
you know what I mean, inmy man, I'm like, I
don't care about those things, likeI don't care about you washing your car
or cutting grass and watering the grass. And then so eventually, you know,

(23:27):
he was at my apartment one day, and I know you weren't.
No, he wasn't at my apartment, thank you Holy Spirit. He we
were talking on the phone and Ijust asked him, because I said,
I was just like, tell memore about yourself. And so he did
and he said, yeah, Igrew up and he said I had a
learning disability and that's what that's whatdid it. And I said, what
learning disability you had and he said, well, I grew up having an

(23:48):
as Berger, right, he saidhe grew up having Aspergers. And so
at that moment I did not letEric know how I was feeling or what
I was sensing at all. Iwas like very much, just kind of
quiet. I let him speak.And then you know, once we got
out the phone, you know,I'm like, okay, babe, well
I'm gonna talk to you later.I ain't gonna lie, y'all. I
went to the bathroom and I cried. I cried like a baby, because

(24:15):
yes I did. I cried,and I remember calling friends on the phone
and I was like, this isnot how my life's supposed to be.
And I know that was probably veryselfish to say, because in my mind,
in my mind, because like Isaid, us ladies, we have
this standard where we think like ourhusbands are supposed to be a certain way,
like our husbands like Superman. Youknow what, I mean like you
got Jus, you got God Jesus, and then you got you know,

(24:37):
your husband supposed to be superman.And in my mind, I'm like I
just had a prophetic word like myhusband, Like me and my husband gonna
be doing ministrure together and he's apastor and I'm gonna be this first lady
and We're gonna just be out herejust blah blah blah, you know what
I mean, Like in my mind, and it just was not that at
all. And I remember just breakingdown rying. I even call my old

(25:02):
pastor at the time and she Iremember I had went to church that following
Sunday, and she was like,the Lord says, I gotta pray for
you, I gotta pray strength overyou. And so you know, of
course every at the time was prayingover me, you know, to have
strength to endure. But at thetime, that's how it felt, because
I was just like, this isnot my life. I did not expect
to be married to an autistic man. I never did that, Like I

(25:22):
said, that would have never.That was never in my plans, let
me put it like that. ButI'm glad it was in God's plans because
God has showed me and allowed meto see myself through that. He's taught
me patience with Eric, He's taughtme how to be a better communicator,
you know. And like I said, we'll talk more about that than in

(25:44):
different podcasts, But I do Ithank God for my husband because, like
I said, a lot of thingsthat a lot of women have to deal
with in relationships, I don't haveto deal with because my husband that like
I know he's gonna be faithful,you know what I mean. Like Eric's
very structured and routine, and sobefore that, I appreciate him because I'm
like, oh yeah, like that'smy weakness. Like I'm not very you

(26:04):
know what I'm saying, Like Icould be structured to an extent, but
the way he is very structured andhas a routine and sticks by schedule,
and you know what I mean,the very integrable person. Just an honest
man, you know what I mean, Like a meek spirit, just just
very pure at heart and wouldn't doanything or really it wouldn't hurt you.

(26:26):
And so for that, God knewwhat I needed. It wasn't about what
I wanted. He knew what Ineeded. And so I'm very much thankful
for that. But I'm gonna letmy husband talk about that and then we'll
jump into tonight's scripture before we closed. Yeah, going back to the like
the strip club thing. I know, for me at the time, I
was influenced and that was my problemas a child. I'm not gonna lie.

(26:48):
Was influenced by you know, otherpeople to do certain things and then
you know I would get in troublefor it. But I was, you
know, influenced by old co workersbecause you know, at the time,
I was like, oh, yeah, bachelor man, let's let's live it
up. Let's let's go drink,let's go have some let's go see some

(27:10):
you know women, and know,strip clubs and stuff like that. And
I'm not gonna lie Like I was. I enjoyed for some time thinking like
oh yeah, I'm gonna keep doingthis thing. When God revealed that to
her, She's like, oh,why this man have a love problem like
this? So he was just goingafter women like that. You know at
that time, I was going afterhim because you know, I was looking
for you know, love and youknow, the wrong ways. Not gonna
lie. Women look for love inthe wrong places and have like abuse,

(27:34):
some crazy relationships. Man, wedo too looking for love in the wrong
place. We think, oh,yeah, we're looking for the superficial and
not the raw. I'm just gonnasay that again. We're looking for the
suit. Yeah, we're looking forthe superficial, but not the raw.
And back to the conversation. WhenI talked to her about my diagnosis,

(27:55):
like I remember like so vividly.It it was like an hour and a
half like phone conversation we had.I remember sitting in my room and like
when I like just poured out myselfto her about my disability. I'm not
I had a lot of labels andyou know, restrictions you know, placed
on me because of what I hadto go through in school with He's only

(28:15):
making like these grades, he's onlylike reading at this level of his social
skills are you know this way?And most of my comments like were not
know the best, like I canremember, if you know anybody remembers like
elementary school, like those you know, big old report cards. My father
he still has a bunch of them, like stored away in the house I

(28:36):
know where, Yeah he does.But those big old report cards where like
the teachers write like comments like ohneeds work on this, and he works
on that, and it's just likeI've let that define me for so long.
And then the moment, like Ilike the moment I was just sharing
myself to her, I just started, you know, falling out crying on

(28:57):
the floor because no one, I'mnot gonna lie, no one accepted me
for my autism and what what myweakness is worth? Like I was,
I was just written off all thetime, especially in like the dating arena.
I was written out so much towhere people women didn't get a chance
to know who I was and whatmy weaknesses were. And you would say

(29:21):
this all the time too. Youwould tell me nothing's wrong with you,
babe, like nothing's wrong with you? And I was thinking so much something
was drawing me like I was,you know, effective deform that I was,
you know, manufactured the wrong wayor whatever you want to put it.
But you know I had to,you know, let myself go and
say, you know what, youweren't manufactured wrong and back to like the

(29:44):
whole lustful thing. God had tospeak to me. And right when I
knew, and it was November whenI knew that, hey, this is
my wife right here. Because Ihad to be ready for that. That's
when Guy's like, okay, Eric, yeah, I give up all that
you know, lustful stuff. We'regoing to going to strip clubs and stuff
because I'm building something in you.I didn't know what God was doing at

(30:06):
the time and the course at thefurther, as we got into our dating,
dating phases, you know, wewere very lustful. Like like she
said, we were very lustful.We were we were doing everything, not
not not like that, but likeanytime I was anytime she was off the
road or anytime I worked Monday throughFriday at the time, you know,

(30:27):
at a you know, major corporation, very physical work. Like anytime I
could get out of there, youknow, out of that place and wanted
to see her, I was like, oh yeah, Friday night, let
me go drive the Richmond I'm gonnasee her, see Brianna, or being
hotels things like that, like ohyeah, I'm going for her. And

(30:47):
I desired more of that. Butthen you know, you know, the
word you know, also convicted bothme and her in different ways. And
I remember doing the dating phase.Like one of my old mentors, I
went to dinner with them, rightand like I just shared with them those
experiences like you know, being withyou and why it was you know why
I can't like hold off on likelustible thoughts. You know, as men,

(31:08):
you know how it is. It'svery hard because we God made know
the sex drive for both of us, but he he wanted us to use
that like at their appropriate time,and he the word that he spoke to
me just convicted me so much thathey, you don't need to do that
anymore, not just don't do it, but because you know, it's reserved
for a special purpose. And I'mlike, okay, we need to really

(31:32):
like calm it down here. Evenon the pandemic, when you know,
all hell broke Lue saying the worldwas going to hell, and it's you
know, going deeper and deeper intohell as we all know. And during
that separation period when I was youknow, of course still at my mom
and dad's house and she at thetime was you know, renting room from
somebody like we God had to youknow, refine us and say, hey,

(31:59):
I separating out for a reason,but y'all will be back together.
But it's during that time like Icouldn't see her, like I couldn't even
go like see her there, andshe couldn't see me because people thought that
this virus was lethal and deadly andwhatever other words you want to say.
It is it was at the time, and it was like they hit the

(32:22):
world. Hit the panic button,you know, the panic button on your
car remote, That's what they did. But you know, everything turned around
for the good, and I'm gladit did because it was no mature on
our part we had to do.And yeah, with that said, I
think it's no time we dive intothat scripture right now. Yeah, before

(32:44):
we do that, though, Iwanted to just piggyback off of that what
he said, because it was justyou're messing around, you're doing stuff,
and the Lord's like stop, andit's like you would always get the like
the conviction afterwards, and so Iknow, but I was like, man,
some got to give here, youknow what I mean, Like,
we're gonna have to We're gonna haveto get this right. But the last

(33:06):
time I think was at my oneof my old churches I went to a
couple of years ago. We hada and this is crazy, but he
was from the Philippines, so wehad a Filipino missionary come over to America.
He has literally been assigned to Americato be a missionary, and you
know it's bad if you got tocome, if God got some missionaries from

(33:27):
other countries to America to tell themabout America. Anyway, so he happened
to come to our church and hewas preaching, and he ended up prophesying
over everybody in the room. Andeven though Eric was with me that particular
day, I remember when he calledme out by myself and end up prophesying
to me and speaking all these youknow words over me. But I remember
when he came when I after Ifell out on the ground right, he

(33:50):
ended up whispering my ear and hewas just like God is demanding holiness from
you. All he kept saying,he said, and he doesn't even want
even a man. And at thattime I knew he was talking about Eric.
He's like, he doesn't even wanta man to contaminate you. And
so I was just like, oh, my lord, you know what I
mean. And so at that particularmoment in time, I'm a Robbers kept

(34:10):
having a conversation. I'm like Eric, I said, We're it's gonna to
be the our dialetic. We're gonnahave to get this together because we got
to live right, and so,like Eric said, fast forward, it
was like, mar Yeah, thepandemic happened, now, mind you,
before that even happened December, hehad went ahead and proposed to me.

(34:30):
I did. So. He hadthis beautiful proposal, absolutely gorgeous. He
did it at my old church.He set it up with my old pastors,
and so it was like a partof the service that day, and
it was very like, like Isaid, memorable, his family came down
all that, and so, youknow, so we're engaged at that point.
And I'd always told Eric, listen, the moment you you proposed,

(34:51):
or the moment I get proposed to, within six months we get married.
Like, I'm not gonna be oneof the people that's waiting, no,
two ten years before we get married. I'm getting married immediately. So I
was very serious because I knew me, I'm like, I can't wait.
I'm not one of them people likeso for me that I'm just being honest.
So for me, I just rememberus talking about it, and we

(35:12):
had planned originally to have this beautifulwedding at this beautiful state estate in July,
yeah, with our families and everything. But because of COVID and we
were scared. We didn't want toget nobody infected and things like that.
We didn't know what was going on. We ended up having to We lost
We lost everything. We lost ourmoney money. Yeah, we put a
lot, We put like ten ortwelve grand. We lost all of it

(35:36):
because of COVID nineteen. But anyway, I remember during the pandemic, like
he said, we cannot see eachother. Everybody was scared. Everybody's on
lockdown. He couldn't come to whereI was. I couldn't go where he
was. It was just one ofthose things. And I remember then it
was like if we don't get marriednow, we're not gonna do this,
like we're gonna break apart. Andso we ended up telling our pastors one

(35:58):
Sunday, like, hey, rightafter church, can you marry us?
And they were pool with it.So right after church service we had planned
to get married. We originally stillwanted to keep our other wedding date,
but we had planned to get married, and so we just got married after
church. One said, we justboth dressed up in purple. They got
married. We had a mask onand everybody was laughing. It was like
it's my first zoom wedding, myfirst Zoom wed But anyway us neither here

(36:22):
nor there, because we're gonna talkabout that board next week for episode three.
But for that I was just oneof those people. I'm like,
we're gonna have to do something inorder to stop. But luckily, like
I said, I felt like theplan in a sense, the pandemic was
a blessing because they didn't cause usto stop. And like I said,
we're gonna jump right into this scripturebefore we close tonight, and it's coming

(36:45):
out of First Corinthians six twelve,and then we're going down to verse twenty
and we're gonna read it tonight outof the amplifi, and so it reads
everything is permissionable for me, butnot all things are beneficial. Think is
permissible for me, but I willnot be enslaved by anything and brought under
its power, allowing it to controlme. Food is for the stomach,

(37:07):
and the stomach for food, butGod will do away with both of them.
The body is not intended for sexualimmorality, but for the Lord,
and the Lord is for the bodyto save, sanctify, and raise it
again because of the sacrifice of theCross. And God has not only raised
the Lord to life, but willalso raise us by his power. Do

(37:29):
you not know that your bodies aremembers of Christ? Am I therefore to
take the members of Christ and makethem a part of a prostitute? Certainly
not. Do you not know thatthe one who joins himself to a prostitute
is one body with her? Forhe says the two shall be one flesh.
But the one who is united andjoined to the Lord is one in

(37:51):
spirit with him. Run away,So this is verse eighteen. Run away
from sexual immorality in any born,whether thought or behavior, whether visible visible
visible, yeah, visual, Lordor written. Every other sin that a
man commits it sound outside the body. But the one who is sexually immorl

(38:12):
sins against his own body. Doyou not know that your body is the
temple of the Holy Spirit who iswithin you, whom you have received as
a gift from God. That youare not your own property, You were
brought with a price, You areactually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus
and made his own. So thenhonor and glorify God with your body right

(38:37):
and me. So you know,I know people, A lot of people
have a difference. They have differencesof opinion, but at the end of
the day, you know, scriptureis scripture, and we know that scripture
is the ultimate truth of the Word. Now, we are all sinners,
we all fall short of the gloryof God. But I do I think
it's a beautiful thing when couples can'twait, and I believe there's a special

(39:00):
blessing and there's a special honor inthe ones that can wait. But even
so, we also knowing scripture.And I don't know what the scripture is
this week, but we're gonna probablytalk about that scripture next week. But
in the Bible where it talks aboutit's better to marry than to burn,
Yes, but I'm gonna say this, only marry the person who God has

(39:22):
chosen for you to marry. Don'tjust be marrying somebody because go, oh
man, I'm having sex and soI'm just trying to have sex with somebody.
Because your marriage is not gonna workanyways, because it's not built on
a firm foundation. It's not builton a solid foundation. And so it
is very important that we learn thatthat you learn that you want your marriage

(39:45):
built on the foundation of Jesus Christ, and you want to make sure that
the person that you're saying I doto is gonna be the person God has
attended for you to marry, becausewhat you don't want is, like I
said, you wake up to youyears later and be like I hate you
or this is not what I wantor whatever, and it's like you were

(40:05):
never supposed to be with that personto begin with. So now you are.
Now you're divorce and you know,God hates divorce, but he ain't
gonna go against nobody's will. Sowe just got to think about it from
that perspective, like, is thisthe person that God chose from me?
And like I said, it's morescriptures, but I just wanted to bring
that out tonight. Now, Baby, you have anything before we close?
Do you want to speak anything onthat roal? Just a few things I

(40:27):
think as she was reading, Versenineteen always gets me. Do you not
know that your body is a templeof the Holy Spirit who is within you,
whom you have received as a giftfrom God, and that you are
not your own property? And everytime I think about that scripture, and
of course verse twenty follows it sayingthat you're bought at a price, like

(40:49):
God knows the that how precious youare to him, and he's like,
never dishonor your body because if youdis honor you know, the body that
I created you in, you're designoringGod like point blank period. If you
you're doing everything all that you wantto do. And I know for some
women they like say my body,my choice and not not you. But

(41:10):
that's a whole nother story. Butwhen they say that too, But like
you just got to like be youknow, wise and know that God,
you know, created you for apurpose and you shouldn't be selling your body
to and even the men too,you shouldn't be selling your body to these
different women that just gonna throw youaway. And know the women you all
shouldn't just throw yourselves away to menthat just gonna use you and abuse you.

(41:34):
In the above it when you talkedabout sixteen, do you not know
that the one who joins himself toa prostitute is one body with her immediately
thought about negative soul ties. Andwhen I think about you know, negative
soul ties, like when you like, when you get had sex with that
person, you're carrying like their theirdemons, their their traumas or whatever they

(41:55):
went through. You care and thatin you and you're gonna put in someone
else, I'm saying you just likeyou're just spreading it and you we just
can't afford to just spread like noothers demons that you like put like allowed
to be put in you for becauseof your own disobedience. So we just
have to be mindful and careful thatthe person, Like when it comes to

(42:19):
marriage. That's why, like dating, you're gathering data as I spoke earlier
on what type of person they areand who they are. You're like,
okay, And the more data youhave and the more that you know,
the more you can make an informeddecision. Be like okay, And but
the leading of the Holy Spirit thatthis is the person God has for me
because I'm going to you know God, allow God to guide my decisions on

(42:44):
that. And I know for us, like he guided me to bring on
because I knew she was worth somethingand I knew she had my best interests
at heart, and she did too, like on my end. So with
that said, like that, thesoul tie, you gotta be like know
your soul who to connect your soulwith, and you just you just can't
you know, contaminate yourself with othersdemons because like as the Bible says,

(43:10):
when you like when you try toget you know, when you want to
get delivered from it, like seventimes more, you know will like come
on you. And that's a strongman. And you can't let that strong
man keep you bound. So youjust gotta be wise and mindful, especially
when it comes to you know,relationships, and that goes for both men
and women. That you can't justand for men like particularly, you can't

(43:35):
just spread your seed around thinking thatoh nothing, I'm not affected by it,
because you spreading your seed, you'reyou're just spreading like your own demons
into like these different women and womenon the other side too, if you
want to do that when it comesto marriage, like be married to the
right person, to the person thatis really gonna build you up, and

(43:57):
you can build them up and nottear each other down. But that's that's
my my PSA on that one,because I know I make a lot of
PSAs, but they're they're the truth. There are one hundred percent truth and
honest and I'm not not for likebroken morality because the way I was raised,
I come from a strong family familyunit, you know, had a

(44:21):
two parent household. Seeing my motherand father being married for thirty eight years
and having that strong like foundation,it's it's allowed me to like, you
know, build upon my own foundation, from my own household. Yes,
building on a firm foundation, asthe scripture says, you know, building
on the rock, you know,versus building it on the sand. And

(44:43):
we just got a build it onthe rock. Who is Christ, the
one and only Christ, and notknow sandwhich is just all sinking sinking around?
Right? Amen? Amen? AndI just saw someone of just piggyback
really quick before we close on whathe talked about about what the demons.
What he was talking about was onceyou've been delivered, when the demons have

(45:05):
been casted out of you, whenthe house has been swept clean, if
you continue to go back into yoursin, when the and the demons come
back, they're gonna come back withseven times, it's gonna be seven times
more. It's gonna be worse onyou. So you're gonna mean a worse
condition than you were before. Right, And a lot of people, and
I think that's very important. Ineed to actually be a teaching or soul

(45:27):
ties because a lot of people don'trealize that you can have negative soul tides.
I mean it doesn't even have tojust be in relationship. You can
have negative soul tides with friends,family, all that type of things,
right, but specifically in relationships withpeople and specifically sexual relationships because you don't
know, like every time you havesex with somebody, like I said,
they're whatever demons they didn't come incontact with. Now you're coming into contact

(45:51):
with. And every time you sleepwith somebody knew that's it. So then
you wonder why when when you godeliverance service, you got a whole legion
of demons in you. And it'sbecause you prob been messing around and see
what God who God knows what right, and so at that particular moment at
times, you just got to becautious, right, just got to be
cautious and like I said, reallytruly be led by the spirit on who

(46:15):
you need to be dating. Youneed to have a purpose and a purpose
behind dating, not just to belike like I said, I'm dating this
day because I'm just trying to havesex with everybody, Like you should be
dating because you want to eventually settledown and be with someone. Right,
you can spend the rest of yourlife with right, So yeah, that's
something it for tonight. Join usagain next week because we are going to

(46:37):
be doing episode three where we aregoing to be talking about just marriage or
the wedding. I guess I don'tknow how we're gonna do it. I
don't know how we're gonna do it. I don't know if we're talking about
fat or the wedding, but yeah, we're gonna discuss that next week,
so please join in. So we'regonna go ahead and close out in prayer.

(46:58):
Once again. Thank you guys forwatching and listening to another episode of
Married with Autism with Pastor Eric Smithand Prophetes Brief Smith. We do appreciate
it, and so once again we'regonna go ahead and close in prayer.
All right, all right, FatherGod, just thank you for allowing us
to come together on this evening.Father God, Father God. I pray
that this message goes far and wide, and that it gravitates and goes and

(47:23):
to the listener's ear if he's supposedto hear it on this evening, Father
God, in the name of Jesus, Father got our pray that the worst
that we've spoken tonight, we're pleasingyour sight. But most importantly, they
were going They're going to be implantedin the fertile ground of our hearts.
God, of people's hearts. FatherGod, in the name of Jesus,
do not allow the word to bechoked out by thorns and thistles or by

(47:45):
the curves of life. Father God. I'll let the birds of air,
of the air come and take themaway, Father God. But Father God,
allow them to be firmly grounded androoted God in you. So,
Father God, we just want tosay thank you for tonight, Father God.
And it's in Jesus name that wepray Amen, and Amen and Mary.
So once again, thank you guysfor joining us. It's always a

(48:07):
pleasure. So next time we willsee you later. Bye. Thank you
guys for listening to another episode ofMarried with Autism. We would love to
hear from you regarding certain topics thatyou would like to see addressed. Life
change, your testimonies you would liketo share or information on how you can
become against on the show, Pleaseemail us at HIPO at Married with Autism

(48:29):
dot com. As always, welove you all with the love of Christ.
Remember to keep Christ's first and allthat you do, including your marriage
and watch the Lord begins to transformyour life. Be blessed,