Episode 3 Married With Autism Til Death Do Us Part

Episode #3-Til Death Do Us Part

Episode Transcript

(00:08):
Ce Be Supremes. Welcome to themarrit with Autism Podcast, a podcast as
designed to help neuro diapert and neurotypicalcouples, quote married and single learn how
to develop a happy, healthy ata set of amriage and Christmas trip supple.
Now, before we jump into theshow with our favorite host, property
is Brief Smilth and Pastor Eric Smilty, please enjoy these words from our sponsors.

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b R E. S M I, T H G L O B A
L at gmail dot com to obtainmore information. Well, good evening,

(01:40):
family, Welcome to another episode ofMarried with Autism with Pastor Eric Smith and
Prophetess Brace Smith. So we justwelcome you guys back again tonight. As
promised, this episode, episode threeis called to Death Do Us Part?
Yay? Right, So we areliterally excited about like always, we're excited

(02:06):
to just hear like I said,hear you other guys's testimonies out there.
I know, we've been running acrossother couples who have who are in a
neuroleover's relationship. So it's very interestingto see some people are just starting their
journey, like I said, somepeople were in their journey or at the
end. But which is very interestingto meet other couples out there who are
going and dealing with the same thingswe have dealt with. Right, so

(02:29):
y'all know how we do. We'regoing to open up with prayer and then
we're gonna jump right into tonight's topic. Amen, all right, go ahead,
babe, all right, let uspray. I leave follow the name
of Jesus. We just come toyou right now just telling you, thank
you God, thank you for thisvision. God. We just thank you
for allowing us to run with thisfor married with autism. God, we

(02:51):
just thank you for the couples thatare listening across the live that are,
you know, finding out like moreabout not just our own testimonies, but
they're like applying our stories to theirown testimonies and going back with the word
of God. So, Father God, I just thank you for your word,
for you know it for you cancorrecting and teaching us and in our
areas. God, I just thankyou God for it being the source,

(03:15):
your word being the source God thatyou know stands above all. It is
the rule book that is above all. It is the law of the land.
So right now, Father God,we just treat we are we take
your word for what it is,and we use that as a lot of
land over everything, including our marriage. God. We just glorify you,
We honor, honor you with theinstitutions that you know created in and the

(03:37):
respect that we we should put uponno marriage since it is, you know,
a covenant that you got, youknow, made know from from heaven
God. So I just thank you, I glorify you, and I honor
you, and let tonight be amessage that just propulls the heart of others,
no other whatever you have to do, it's in your name, we
do pray. Amen. Amen.All right, So kind of picking back

(04:01):
up where we left off last week. So I started kind of talking a
lot about the topic this week,but it's all good because we're going to
go back over it. And sopicking back up, so as you know,
Lord had already talked to me andEric and was like already kind of
convicting us, especially he was convictingme as a prophet because he was like,
you have to be holy, beholy, Brian holy, and so

(04:23):
at that moment in time, itwas like I ain't gonna I started kind
of dropping hitsteric. We need tostart making you know, doing right by
doing right by God, doing rightby each other, and actually go ahead
and make this official right And soEric, if you want to, you
want to talk about okay, talkabout that portion gladly will like she said,

(04:44):
like at the end of our lastepisode, we were you know,
we were deep into fornication and herheart and my heart too. A God
was convicting me through a past mentorthat I've mentioned on the last podcast that
A you should just go ahead andget married because the longer you do it,
the more like in sin you'll be. And and I just thought about

(05:05):
that, and I was like,Okay, yeah, I really like Brionna.
I'm really into her, so Ishould just go ahead and marry her.
And that was the Holy Spirit withinhimself within me, telling me,
hey, you need to go aheadand know marry her. And I was
no planning, you know, outthe engagement part, you know, the
engagement how it was going to looklike, how I wanted to do it.

(05:26):
And in my mind, I waslike, how would I I think
I should surprise her in this way, you know, in a way to
where like I'm just declaring my lovefor her, and I'm like okay,
And I you know, planned itout. And at the time, I
planned it out with our former pastorsat the time, you know, and
the night before the ceremony, Iwent I literally went and met them in

(05:48):
the church. You know, atthe time we was in another building because
you know, the church it wasno, their building and it needed to
be rebuilt due to a buyer.It was. It was just like yeah,
yeah, at the time, itwasn't in big fire. But like
I remember going to you know,speaking to them and I'm like, hey,
I really liked to propose to Brianna. And I was talking to the

(06:12):
husband pastor at the time, tohim and I share names similar name,
and I'm like, yeah, justI finally want to do it, you
know, this time and propose her, you know, because I know she's
like one of your own members.So I just wanted to make it right
by God by doing that. Andnext thing, you know, as we
will get into it. That washow it happened. But the day after

(06:34):
I did the surprise, and youknow, it wasn't you know, doing
a church service and at the timeshe was the youth leader of the church,
and I was getting involved in themessages. Like how they did it.
I could tell there was like areoccurring theme and I remember the theme
that was about legacy, building legacy, and it was like, Okay,

(06:55):
this is your time to do this, Eric and I had it mapped out
and God could and did it,you know, in a better way,
and like yep, it's your timeto do with Eric and right at the
end of the message. So fromthere the rest was history. That part
the engagement, right, And it'sto kind of backtrack just a little bit.

(07:15):
I know there was some people atthe time they were like, yeah,
shit, y'all get married, youknow what I mean, Like,
you know what I'm saying, becausethey were just like, well, we
don't want you just to get buriedto each other, you know, just
but you're fornicating and things like that. I know what the word says.
The Word says it is better toget married than suburb of passion exactly.
And so, like I said,the Lord had already given me that warning

(07:36):
talk about I needed to be holy. And I think that's that's what's wrong
with the Body of Christ's say,not a lot of people have a fear
of God. And I'm praying thatis my prayer for the entire body of
Christ, that the fear of Godcome back into us, because once we
realize who God truly is and howholy He is, with all this foolishness

(07:56):
that's going on in the body ofChrist, wouldn't happen. But let me
get off my soapbox. And stoppreaching. But yeah, so with that
being said, like I said,I was dropping hints. Eric got the
hints, and I knew the Lordactually gave me a dream because being prophetic
prophetic and being a prophet, theLord had already showed me that Eric was
getting ready to propose. Now Ididn't know when he was going to propose,

(08:18):
but the Lord was showing me like, Eric's getting ready to propose to
you. And in the dream Isaw it when he proposed, I wasn't
emotional or nothing. And I thinkGod was trying to shay like because I'm
showing you this, like you're notgoing to be typical girl day like crying
and breaking down because you know,you kind of want to be emotional on
your engagement day. You know howpeople are like crying because they're all shocked
and all happy. And me andwasn't even like that because I already knew.

(08:41):
So I had went out like Iknew it was getting ready to happen.
I went out that Friday night orthat Saturday night, and I went
and got my hair done. Iwas like, oh, let me get
my hair done. At the time, like now y'all cut off my hair
off but I used to have reallylong hair, so I'm like, let
me get my hair done, youknow what I mean. So I ain't
got my hair done and stuff,and made sure that I stuff for church
because I was like, I justknew it was gonna be that Sunday.

(09:03):
I'm telling you, like it wasits on point. And so I had
winn he had and at the time, like my husband said, I was
a youth leader youth pastor of thechurch, and so I had just got
done doing the sermon net with thekids and the teens and stuff like that.
So when I came back out,it was funny because I didn't even
know that Eric's parents and his littlesister were like hiding in this little cobby

(09:28):
hole in the back, like Ididn't even see. All I did was
I came out, I sat down, and then, like he said,
they were preaching about legacy, andthen they asked me to come up,
and that's when I knew. Iwas like, okay, it's about it's
going down, you know what Imean. And Eric ended up, you
know, pretty much just saying,you know, Rihanna, you know when
you marry me. And it wasso beautiful. It was really beautiful.

(09:50):
But in the dream, just likehow I was in the dream, I
was in real life, so Iwas not shot and Eric was. I
could tell he probably was like manbecause he probably was telling everybody I was
gonna cry. He thought I wasgonna cry and get emotional, but I
didn't because God had already showed me. He's like man, God. You
know, at the time, Ericreally didn't understand about the prophet, like

(10:11):
God, I ain't show you that. Guy, ain't tell you all that.
I'm like Eric, he shows me, like literally, he showed me.
He was getting ready to propose,like I knew it and did so
Eric was like, ah, whatever, he doesn't do that. I told
him stuff. He'd be like okay. But anyways, in the back,
you know, after he got doneproposing, his mom and his sister,

(10:33):
everybody came out and it was beautiful, Like his mom was crying and everybody
was all happy and very emotional,and so it was very beautiful. I
loved how he did it. Itwas very very romantic, and I love
that. And he knew that Iwas a woman of God, and so
the way he did it, likeI said, for me, that's what

(10:54):
I needed. But like I said, you know, men, you know
your woman, like if your womanyou need to I'll be seeing these elaborate
things now where men be sitting there. I saw one dude at the gas
station and he literally looked like hewas the police had surrounded him, like
he's about to get arrested, andhis girl came out of the car and
she was like, nah, youain't. You ain't about to get my

(11:18):
right there, right, and thenhe ended up dropping on his knee and
proposed it. And so I'm like, now that was that was a lot.
But you know what I mean,there's there's people that's out there doing
it. I've seen the church thing. I've seen men propose like like old
school, like in front of fountainson the beach. And I think that's
how Eric's little sister got proposed toher shout out, shout out yes to

(11:39):
they wedding that's gonna be next month. But yeah, so you know,
you're a woman, you know whatshe likes, you know what's gonna really
touch her heart, you know,And I believe that I'm very old school
with that. Women, Please donot be going to these men and proposing
to these men, because you're waitingon this brother to give you a ring
that to me is fool's right.Let him do that. Don't you be

(12:03):
sitting there proposing to no man?Well, we ain't doing that. I
don't care. It is twenty twentytwo and you misindependent, and you got
all that stuff going like, no, we are not proposing to men.
Men are chasers, right, Menare the protectors over us in his family.
That is his job. If hechooses you to be his wife,

(12:24):
then that is his choice. Itis a man who finds a good thing,
right, and he receives favor fromthe lord, and so he has
to find us. But the thingis, we have to be in a
position where we are ready. Butthe thing is, when he finds you,
you should already be a wife,just the same thing with the husband.

(12:45):
When you find your wife, youshould already be a husband, right,
even though even though you may notphysically on that title yet, the
characteristics your character should already be that. And if your character is not fat,
then don't waste people's time. I'mgoing there. Don't waste people's time
trying to sit there and be inthese situationships or be in a relationship for

(13:09):
ten years. And you know,that your intention is not to be with
this woman when she could have meta brother, because there are all brothers
out there who would have dated herfor six months and been like, listen,
boom, we're about to get married. I'm proposing to you right now
because I know you, my wife. I've seen it too many times.
Men don't know what they want.Ladies. These brothers ain't sitting here waiting
no ten thousand years to get marriedto no woman. If you've been in

(13:31):
a relationship with a brother for tensome years, you didn't have all these
babies bout him. I need youto really think, is he gonna marry
you? He ain't trying to getmarried boo. And don't get me wrong,
I know y'all. I listened toMarcus Houston, who was a song
well, he said marriage don't changesomething but your name that song. Y'all
know what I'm talking about. Butlisten, I'm telling you, no,

(13:58):
we have to get to a placeright where we want to do the honorable
thing. There ain't nothing wrong.If you want to live that single life,
then hey live that single life.But don't do that with somebody who
actually has true intentions and they wantto settle down, and they want to
do the right thing, and theywant to be married. Don't waste people's

(14:18):
time. Women, that's the samething for you. Men, that's the
same thing for you. Don't wasteeach other's time. And I'm tired of
these people being in these situationships.And then you've sitting there like, well,
I don't really know who we are, but I don't know that what
to call us. I'm like,I don'nah. You in a whole situationship.
You getting yourself caught up. Soy'all go in here. They go,

(14:39):
oh, yeah, we're just friends. You messing around, you fornicate,
and you're doing all this stuff.Right, one of you start to
catch feelings, and then the otherone's like, oh, I'm out here
doing me. We ain't. Weain't in a real relationship. So I
can go still talk to Sarah andBecky and Joanna and Susie and all them.
I can do all that while I'mmessing with Brittany here. The thing

(15:00):
is now you messing with her,Or it could be the opposite. The
ladies could be doing that. They'dbe messing with David Terry, Terris right
whoever. And then and then thebrothers, like, man, I really
feeling this girl, I really wantto make something out of this and have
a relationship, and you're not evendoing that because once again, because you're
wasting people's time. Like I said, I understand marriage may not be for

(15:24):
everybody, and that's fine, butdon't waste time with people. Be honest
upfront, Okay, be like,hey, look, this is my intentions,
and ladies, please hear me inthe spirit because y'all know him for
us, I'm for us. Butif a man's sister tells you I'm not
looking for a relationship or nothing serious, don't go pursue the brother he then

(15:48):
told you upfront, I don't wantthatthing serious. I'm not looking for a
relationship, which already might already inyour mind. Should say, Okay,
all he wants from me is sex. That's it. I don't want nothing
else. So you need if youreally want a true relation, and you're
thinking that just because you give himsex, he gonna ooh yeah, he
gonna settle down with me, hegonna be with me. No, because

(16:11):
he told you a friend, hedidn't want to be with you, and
we have to stop and stopped beingin this place where we are delusional,
where we are delusional. And I'mgonna call a thing a fan because y'all
know me, I'm real talk.I'm real, real talk. We are
if he tells you a friend,I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm

(16:32):
not looking for a relationship. Ijust want to be friends with benefits.
I just want to be friends.I wouldn't even I wouldn't even pursue him.
You are worth so much more.Know you're worth. There is somebody
out there, a true king,a true king. My husband is a
king, a true king who isgoing to honor you and respect you and

(16:55):
love you enough to be like youknow what, I'm gonna do right by
this girl. I'm gonna do rightby her. I'm gonna honor her,
I'm gonna respect her. I'm gonnatake her on dates. I'm not gonna
hide her from my family. I'mnot gonna hide her from my friends.
We're gonna go hang out together,were gonna have fun, and I'm gonna
do the right thing, and I'mgonna settle down with this woman. There
are men out there that's willing todo that. Stop Satellite, I'll sign

(17:18):
for jokers. Could you think thatyou less than, like you ain't worthy
enough. It really goes back toyour self work, which means you need
to get healing. But this isnot the episode for that. We're gonna
talk about that next week another time. Ye next week. That is actually
next week's episode. Talking about emotionalbaggage. But I feel like I have
to really minister that because there's somany women out here, and we are
in these relationships right, or socalled relationships with these men, because really

(17:45):
all we doing is just flowing aroundwith them, and then we want to
complain to our girlfriends and say,oh my god, he treat me so
wrong. I don't even get it. But the thing is, if we're
being honest, the brother told youup front, I'm not looking for anything
serious. I don't want no relationship. Now. Don't get me wrong.
There are some brothers that slick.I ain't forgot about them, ladies.
I know there are some brothers thatslick. Then it sat there and said,

(18:07):
na, I do want a relationship. And for some reason, they
want Becky, Tiffany, Britney,Susie and they want all them right because
they got that spirit on them.But once again, you work so much
more than that. You ain't gotto settle with this man, Like I
said, go back before the father, because he ain't gonna lie. And

(18:33):
it ain't a feeling. It's notOh he's so fine, she's so fine.
Oh yeah, that's my spouse.No, no, no, no,
no, what did God say?Did God say that's the person I
chose for you? Now that?Yeah, that's your grace. You can
deal with whatever. You see whatI'm saying. But if he ain't told
you that, I wouldn't even pursueit. That's gonna bean. I'm just
being real. If God didn't tellme that Eric was my spouse, you

(18:56):
think I would have stayed. No, But I had to trust God in
the process, you see what I'msaying. So that's just that's my tip
bit for that. But I'm gonnalet my husband jump in. He got
some points. Yeah, she saidit all. I mean like she was
ministering to the you know the womenon that. But I'm messers with the

(19:17):
you know the guys out here,No know that women are worth more than
just to play things to just pullthem around with them, because we got
it all twisted out here. Guyslike women are so much more you think
of them as like pieces of meterjust like you know objects, and and
I know like this is like withme. And I know I got rid
of a lot of like that typeof music, like you know, hip
hop music. I know, theygot beats and everything, but when it

(19:41):
comes to misogyny, hip hop islike high on that when you think about
it, and I was, Iwouldn't say I was a misogynist. I'm
not that I respect my wife orwho she is, and that's why I'm
with her. But I'm not gonnayou know, think that, Oh yeah,
if I can be with the womanand and I'm you know, listening
and promoting you know, misogynistic stuff, then I'm not going to be that

(20:04):
type of person that you know,what what what what message am I am
I portraying right there? You knowwhat? I mean? What message am
I portraying? If I'm you know, a misogynistic person and I'm you know,
with someone like that just shows that, you know, not only am
I not respecting her, I'm notrespecting myself or what you know. I
want so God, you know,during the time when he was convicting me,

(20:26):
You're telling me, hey, youneed to get married to her,
you need to propose to her,and even though she gave me all those
little hints with the engagement rings andher her sister helped me with that too,
So shout out to her. Butyou know, getting back on subject
here, like I had to likerespect myself and know like what I wanted
because before, like before I waswith Brianna, I was attracting something different

(20:52):
and not saying no anyone's name,I was attracting something different. It's about
what are you attracting? Like,you got to ask yourself that question,
what are you attracting? The typeof spirit? What type of spirit are
you attracting to? And normally youattracting the same same type of spirit that's
on you you that's the type ofspirit you're attracted. I mean, let's
let's just call it what it isthat you are. You're you're attracting the

(21:15):
same type of spirit. And itgoes back and I'm sorry, baby,
but it goes back to last weekwhen I was talking about about how you
know, as women, we havethis list, right, we want this
brother six figures, we want himto have a banging body, he gotta
have a business, all this stuff. But it's like, Okay, are

(21:36):
you his equal counterpart. Do youhave a banging body? Are you making
six figures? You know what Imean? Like, So you gotta you
gotta think like on that level,like birds of a feather flock together.
So if if you want a certaintype of person, then you gonna have
to be that person, mean,on the same level. That's it right
there, That's what it is about. Got to mean on the same level.

(22:00):
Otherwise you're going to keep attracting thesame type of spirits over and over
again, and you just keep goingaround in these circles, and you're wondering,
like why am I not ahead?And like why am I not Why
I need to be where I saidI was supposed to be at twenty five
or thirty five, and I'm stillfollowing for between respectively, between the seconds.
Why am I so falling for littlegirls? Why am I still following

(22:22):
for little boys? You know whatI mean? Like, you got to
you know, find someone that's,you know, willing to be at the
same level that you are, soboth of you can grow together. That's
the only way a relationship and amarriage will flourish. Got to be on
the same level and be willing togrow together. Otherwise you're just you're just
acting like, you know, oneof them is just acting like a parent

(22:42):
to the other. And that's notthe that's not what a marriage is not
at all, or just being abusiveor whatever either way. But but yeah,
so to fast forward a little bit, because I know we've kind of
hoppered on that point for a littlebit, you know. So after he
did propose, like I tell y'alllast week, I had always told Eric

(23:03):
that once I get proposed to,I'm trying to get married within six months
because I know me, right,be honest, I like sex, Okay,
So I'm not gonna sit here andbe trying to wait no year,
year and a half, two years, Like who's doing that? And so
for me, I knew that,like I said, I wanted to be
married right away. And so wewent ahead and we had planned everything out
for twenty twenty. We wound thisbeautiful July wedding. I remember the date

(23:26):
and everything. We had picked out, our colors, we had our grooms
man, we had the bridesmen out, everything, the little the flower girl,
the ringbird, everything, and twentytwenty happened, Yes, And so
when twenty twenty happened, it didcause us though. Thank God, I

(23:47):
mean, I'm not gonna lie.Like the blessings that I saw in that
we were able to take a break, you know. So was that March
to March ay from Mayo month,so we yeah, for two months,
so we were able to order kading, right. It just kind of taught.
But I knew I was like Ihad told Eric, I said,
man, if we don't get marriedsoon, I just felt in my spirit,

(24:07):
if we don't get married soon,like this is gonna pull us apart.
We were already kind of dealing withissues, and like I said,
we're gonna do We're gonna talk aboutthat next week. But and so I
was just like, yeah, thisis like one of those now we're never
type things. And so I rememberjust going to the pastors. We went
to our pastors and said, hey, can you marry us right after church?
And they were like, yeah,come on, just do it,

(24:29):
you know. And so right afterchurch we had planned it. Eric's parence
happened to drive down because they wantedto actually be in the building, and
his little sister was there, andmy mom was on zoom and my older
sister was on zoom, and Ihad some friends we had some relatives,
so it was so funny. Everybodykept joking said, that was my first
zoom wedding, you know, buta lot of people were doing a zoom

(24:51):
wedding in twenty twenty, so thatwas you know, it was good.
It was good. I'm glad thatwe did it, like we were both
matching. We had purple on thatday. I did, but I mean,
I still have my wedding dress.I still plan. We still plan
to do a nice bow renewal.We don't know if we're gonna do five
year, eight year, ten yearrenewal, but we're excited because we do

(25:11):
plan to do a renewal. ButI had told him I want to do
a destination wedding. But that's neitherhere nor there. But some lessons that
we learned from that Poe encounter,because remember we had we had already been
planning for July. I I'm notgonna lie. I'm not really a girly
girl type, and so I'm notunderstanding. And now I know, and

(25:33):
I bet you I'm gonna have onethis upcoming time. I did not know
that you needed like a wedding plannerthat kind of handled your contracts and handled
all that. All I knew waslike, oh, okay, we need
to get a DJ, we needto find a venue, we need to
find the people to cater, weneed to find the photographer, we need
to find you know what I mean, all these things. And so I
told Eric, Okay, we're justgonna start paying for everybody, pre paying
everybody, getting it all set upso then every so everything's there that day

(25:57):
and then we'll just have some likekind of like either your mom or I
had like another friend of the familytype thing that was gonna come in and
kind of be the director over thewhole wedding. But we ended up losing
a lot of money. And likeI said, we lost over like ten
thousands dollars. It was that wewere lost from that wedding. You can't

(26:18):
get it back, no, becausea lot of those businesses were small businesses
and whatever they had in their contracts, it's yeah, and that's because we
did not have a wedding plan.And that's because we did not look over
our contracts. What has all Weshould know this though, right from watching
all these people with these the hiphop artists and the R and B artists
and all that, and the peoplewith their contracts, right, us,

(26:40):
we have to do better, andI'm speaking specifically to the African American community.
Now, we have to do ourdue diligence to make sure that if
we're not understanding what are in thesecontracts, that we either we need to
get some type of legal representation orwe have some type of representation, right,
that is, making sure that they'regoing over these contracts before we put
our name on the dot aln right, because what you don't want is you

(27:04):
didn't sign for something. You didn'tsign for a house, or you just
sign for a car, or youdidn't sign for whatever, and next thing
you know, something happened. Butbecause you gave them this money, it
is what it is. They ain'tfixing nothing, They ain't doing nothing for
us. They ain't gonna refund usour money back, none of that.
And so I learned that, andso we need to need to make sure
that some type of insurance or sometype of emergency calls is built into these

(27:27):
contracts, especially people out there tryto get married. Make sure that y'all
looking at that. I know,COVID on the rise again and praying to
God it never gets back to thelevel where we have to be shut down
right like it was in twenty twenty. But you want to make sure that
you're doing your due diligence and lookingover these contracts. But that's with anything

(27:48):
anything, make sure you're looking overall kinds of countries. I suggest you
get a lawyer and put a lawyeror retainer. I know, eventually that's
my goal is to put it.Have a lawyer, but you know there's
different lawyers for different things. Buthave a lawyer that you can put on
retainer that can do that, youknow what I'm saying. They can look
over contracts and things like that,you know, specific contract so but that
that would be my only advice forthat. And then also to last and

(28:10):
not least, knowing that it's notabout the size of the wedding anyway,
because let's be honest, you're gonnabe inviting all these people out, your
friends from college, friends from maybeif you have still for friends from high
school, friends from high school,childhood friends, and a lot of family
members that you really don't even seeand care for. But you're going to

(28:30):
invite them out and pay for theirfood. And they have all that money,
so you don't spend all this moneyon this big, extravagant wedding for
these people that you're really not gonnasee or hang out with ever again.
For real. Let's be honest.You might, you might catch them on
a holiday, but for the mostpart, not all family get together for
the hours like to spend time withtheir favorite brillidis. Right, And so

(28:52):
I'm just saying, don't be goingout there spending all this money on no
wedding. I'm not worth it.It's really not because, like I said,
and Eric could have took that tenthousand dollars. That's me and Eric
too. We talked about this isthat it could have put a that could
have been a downpayment on a houseright there, on a house. You
know what I mean. It's likeyou really doing a wedding to what to
impress people. No, you getmarried for you, for you and your

(29:17):
spouse, and for God. You'renot getting married for all the rest of
that crap. No, it's notfor show. Like I said. Yes,
I want to have a beautiful valorduel. Like I said, I've
been talking about destination winning. ButI told her, I said, the
reason I want to do a destinationwinning because whoever wants to show up.
They're gonna pay out of their pocketto show up, make the effort to
do it, make the effort.And if they don't, oh well,

(29:38):
me and me and my husband andhopefully by that time some kiddo's right and
we just having us a good oldtime, you know what I mean.
You get two and one, youget a wedding and a vacation. And
so yeah, like I said,just keep that in mind. And like
I said, it's so funny becauseI remember talking to my dad a while
back about weddings and he said,yeah, he's in. Normally, people
who be spending all this money,the striving your weddings, they end up

(30:00):
getting divorced. He said. ThenI'm thinking, like, yeah, who
who it ain't it's not about thewedding. Everybody always plans for the wedding.
It's not about the wedding. Andpast my old pastors for me that
it's about the marriage. It's aboutthe marriage, and it is it's the
truth, because that's the only thingthat's going to last, that is a

(30:21):
lasting company that you made before God. Because your marriage is supposed to reflect
what the marriage between Christ and theChurch. And so we just just just
think about that. Really, reallyhave that in your heart. Study on
marriage, learn what marriage truly is. Because marriage is a ministry. There
is an assignment that God has placedin you and your spouse. There is

(30:44):
an assignment. So just know that, yes I do, I want to
add to that, and I knowwhen I did the Pray for your future
spouse challenge and even learning about marriage. The society takes marriage as as an
idol. With marriage being an idol, I think, you know, with
the fanfare of especially for new couples, I'm gonna give you advice right here,
like for free new couples, newlyengaged couples, like don't don't get

(31:08):
caught up into the fan fare ofgetting married. And what I mean by
that is, as my wife justtalked about, you know, the whole
thing of you know, planning thewedding, making the wedding like the number
one big day. And I knowit's a it's harder for women because you
know, it's it's it's y'all's bigday, and everything has to be perfect
and this and that, and Iknow we had to be like clean and

(31:32):
Chris like for us as men forthat with you know, tuxedos and all
that stuff. But you know thepoint is just that the marriage is what
matters the most, and the marriageis what's gonna you know, we're staying.
The wedding is only one day,and all that money that you've been
on the wedding, you can't getit back. You really can't, like
once you have to be really andthis is this is just me, This

(31:53):
is just how Eric thinks when itcomes to things like that. Like I
think about that right now, andI'm like, that could have been a
down payment on the house. Thatcould have been like a grand investment like
that ten thousand dollars that we lostand we could have been a you know,
a better place. But thank god, we're in a better place now.
By angel, that's a whole othertopic. But still thinking back on

(32:14):
that, if the marriage is onlythe marriage lasts a lifetime and God knows
what your marriage needs. So wegotta stop treating marriage as an idol and
thinking that it's you know, thesethese for show things. Because and I
was just telling my wife this too, Like I had an old college friend
they'll be married for almost ten yearsnext year. I remember going to their

(32:36):
wedding and he even told me thatif I could do it all over again.
Half of those people that you knowwere invited to my wedding, I
don't even see anymore, Like,I don't hear nothing of it. And
it's like that, especially in youknow, African American families. You see
them once in the blue moon relatives. There are the ones you only see
at like of course weddings and funerals, and then after that you don't see

(32:57):
them at all. You don't hearfrom them, like I know some there
like that in my own family.Well, we all have them. But
that's just my advice for you newlymarried couples. Just focus more on the
on your marriage and you know,getting deliverance for like your baggage that you
had, because you know, thewedding it's just a show thing on the
outside, but the inside, y'allgotta work on yourselves internally. We want

(33:19):
to talk about that next week,right, Yeah, I'm just gonna I'm
gonna stop. I was gonna stopit right there anyway, but I know
I could go on with that.We both can mm hm. And another
thing too, when we did getmarried, we both had our own vision
of how the marriage should go.Right. I had this idea that I
was going to be married to thispastor and that me and him were going

(33:45):
to travel the nations and we weregonna be preaching the gospel and getting people
saved, and we were going totake our kids along. And that was
my plan for my life, likebecause I always just saw myself just kind
of being like a missionary traveling doingthings like that. Right in doing that,
But it's like I got married toEric and I'm sitting there like,
man, his brother don't want todo nothing, Like he really want to

(34:07):
even leave his own zip code,you know what I mean. It's so
I was like, Lord, Sothat was like a very that was a
culture shock for me because, likeI said, in my mind, my
mind, right, I'm thinking onething, Right, I'm thinking about Ooh,
God's putting us together for ministry,but I'm thinking of it in one
aspect instead of thinking about it inthe way that God wanted the ministry to

(34:30):
be. Right, Yes, myvision of marriage, Like we had two
different visions of marriage. And thisis pretty common for two people, like
when they get together, they havetwo different ideas and thoughts of what marriage
is based off of a what they'veseen or B what they've lived through,
like whether their parents were married forthirty eight years or whether their parents were

(34:52):
divorced when they were a younger age. My idea of vision of marriage was
I always knew I wanted a womana God, and I thought, like
was going to be like a womanof God that just just very demure and
like I'm not saying that. No, she doesn't say anything, and you
know how I spoken. She isbut but for a good reason. But
you know, very very with ayou know, cam spirit. And I

(35:15):
thought she was going to be veryAnd when I coming back to your privacy,
like you know, first lady typelike being raised traditional, but I
saw how you were pushing Brehanna andreal quick was pushing the envelope on a
lot of things. So, God, there's a woman you want me to
be with. Because she was veryShe she was very she liked to put

(35:36):
push a lot of traditional walls down, and she she was like very non
traditional, yeah, very non traditionalverrier. She was a she was an
agitator. She was just like Ilike to consider myself a performer. He
considered considers me an agitator. Iguess what certain things. It depends on
the view the right exactly. AndI'm like, God, you want me

(35:58):
to be married to this woman becauseshe too much bro bro and she wanted
to travel and like want me todrop the dime on everything to just go
here and go there. And I'mlike this right. And that's another thing
you had I had to learn,you know, especially with people with autism,
change is not something that they like. They are very much routine.

(36:19):
Do not mess with their routine.Whatever they got going, that's what they
want. They do not like changeyou. The moment you start changing their
whole world. The moment they flipout, they go crazy. And I
saw that the first year, andI was like, oh my God,
Like what did I just get myselfinto? Like, Lord, you gave
me you sure this supposed to bemy husband? Did I hear you right?

(36:40):
Wait a second? Did I hearyou right? You know I ain't
gonna lie, I said, Iask, and even though I know God
already conferred it, but I reallygot to keep going back. I'm like
you sure, you sure that's whatyou've said, Just what you said?
And so but yeah, we hadtwo, like I said, different versions.
He wanted me just to be ahousewife and went to church and and
you know, just loved him andI wanted to be this on fire woman

(37:05):
for Jesus and do ministry and bein the community and do all this stuff
right, and it just you know, but now our two worlds are coming,
we're learning to come together. Weare right, and it's about compromise
too at the end, like you, because Eric knows that this like ministry
is my passion, Like I'm notgoing to stop doing that, because if
I stopped that part of myself,then I mean I couldn't be I'm not

(37:30):
one of them people that could justsit here and be like you know what
I'm saying, I would go insane. I would probably literally become depressed.
Right. But I can't expect himto always, like he said, jump
up and want to go do somethingand all that, because sometimes he just
wanted to chill at home with meand like, okay, babe, let's
just watch a movie. He's popcorn, you know it's And so it's because

(37:52):
getting up for him all the timeis going to be like it's going to
be for him to be like hestarts to get depressed or shut down or
whatever. So just you just havethe learned to compromise and meet each other
in the middle and build a vision. And in therapy we built a vision
that came together that we were bothcomfortable with, right, and so I

(38:14):
love that. And then the scripture. My husband got the scripture for tonight
that we're going to end on.And then you know, yeah, exactly,
so about chapter two Versus two throughthree and amplify and it says,
then the Lord answered me and said, write the vision and engrave it plainly
on clay tablets, so that theone who reads it will run. So

(38:37):
I'll just read a verse three.Okay, yeah, I could have got
on. But yeah, so writingthe vision and making it plain and like
you just talked about, like wein therapy, we had to write make
a vision for our own marriage,like what we wanted, and it went
above and beyond type of house wewanted to live, what type of jobs
we wanted to have, the howwe wanted our kids. It went and

(39:00):
we had to align our vision withGod's vision, with what he wanted for
us. And when and when Godstarted aligning our visions with his vision,
he gets the glory out of it. And he's like, amen, my
son and my daughter have finally gottenit. And I remember, like even
when we did a primo counseling withour former pastor, like she talked about

(39:22):
writing, what was it our mission? The mission of our marriage, And
as you can see right here andright now, this is the mission of
our marriage to reconcile nuro divergent couplesfor those that are like on the brink
of the divorce and the wife isnot thinks that the husband's not listening or

(39:42):
doesn't get it, and she thinkshe's like too immature. This is our
this is our ministry right here.And it was about a month ago,
like when we started this, Ifinally started to understand why God put us
together for something like this because hewanted he used our story, like our
own testimonies that we tell on aweek to week basis on here to reconcile

(40:06):
and encourage others that we're in thesame boat as we are or may have
been in that same boat. Andthey're like, Okay, they went through
this, so I can get throughthis with the power of the Holy Spirit
and just relying on God whatever yoursituation is. And marriage to every couple
out there, neurodivergent or neurotypical itgoes either way. It's not just for
one type of couple. But that'swhat we're here for. And I'm finally

(40:30):
understanding our mission for our marriage.Yes, amen, and I agree with
one hundred percent with everything my husbandjust said. It's like now, And
it's funny because I know back intwenty twenty, I had gotten a prophecy
that literally said, you're going tounderstand in two years why the devil fought
you so hard on your marriage.He did, and I know why.

(40:51):
It's because we're doing exactly what theLord put us together for, even though
we had to go through a lotof hell in two years. Right.
Like I said, we've been togetherfour years, so all the four years
that we've dealt with each other.But to see it now, right,
to see where we are now isa beautiful thing. And like I said,
I can't really wait to start tohear you guys' testimonies and you start

(41:15):
sharing and pouring out because, likeI said, this is what it's about.
We're praying that our story helps youin some type of way, like
whether you are in your marriage andyou like man, I'm going through a
tough time, or if you areengaged and you're you're still trying to navigate
it, or if you're just stealin your single season right and you're trying

(41:35):
to figure out who is my spouseand all that. Like, we pray
that at each level, in eachdimension and realm that you're that you're picking
up something, that you're picking upsomething. So we pray that it's blessed
you, right, because it reallyis blessing us as we're learning and pouring
out. Well. Like always,we want to thank you guys for listening

(41:57):
to another episode and tuning in foranother episode of Married with Autism once again,
this has been episode three till deathdo his part. We pray that
it is blessed you, and likewe always do, we're gonna go ahead
and close out in prayer. Butplease join us again next week. You
know we do this every week,So join us again next week for episode
four where we're gonna actually talk aboutour emotional baggage. And that was gonna

(42:20):
be a good episode because it's goingto get a lot of people help delivered
and heal set free hold. Allright, that's the goal. Stay tuned,
but all right, we're gonna goahead and close out in prayer.
All right, So, Father God, thank you so much for just allowing
me and my husband just to continuethis ministry, Father God, Father God.

(42:42):
Right now, I pray that thisword, the words that we spoke
on tonight, just begin to touchpeople's hearts where they are, Father God,
whether they're in their single season,whether they're engaged, or whether it's
marry God, or whether they're anew or diverse or whether they're a neurotypical
couple or individual. Father God,we pray that this touches the lie God
and really begins to transform them andhelp them where they are, God,

(43:05):
and help them to get to theplace of where they need to be God
in you, Father God, inthe name of Jesus, Father God,
we even pray right now that youcontinue to heal and restore marriages on tonight,
Father God, even couples who areon the brink of divorce or even
foul for divorce. Father God,we pray that they'll even begin to turn
around from that and want to reconcilewith their partner, Father God. And

(43:28):
because of the messages that we arespeaking and preaching and teaching through this podcast.
Lord, So, Father God,we pray that Father God, we
even pray for those in their singleseason right now, God, that they
are listening to your voice clearly,and that they will seek you on who
they need to date, that theydate what intention, Father God and the
name of Jesus, Father God,and that they will listen on who you

(43:49):
have called to be their spouse,Father God, regardless of whatever God is
on their list, but they willlisten to you, your voice, and
that you will leave them on whotheir spouse should be. Five God and
Father God. We also pray forthe engaged couples that they will that they
will understand and see the vision ofthe marriage that you have placed before them,
what their ministry is, Father God, how they are to help each

(44:12):
other, how they are to sharpeneach other, but also how they are
to impact the world in the environmentaround them, Father, through their marriage.
And so we pray that that ourmarriage glorifies you. We pray that
other people's marriage will glorify you throughthis Father, and it's in your name
Jesus that we pray. Amen andAmen. Once again, Thank you guys.
Like I said, it's always ablessing to be before you. Till

(44:35):
next time. Bye, Thank youguys for listening to another episode of Married
with Autism. We would love tohear from you regarding certain topics that you
would like to see a dressed lifechange your testimonies you would like to share
or information on how you can becomeagainst on the show. Please email us
at hippo at Marriage with Autism dotcom. As always, we love you

(44:55):
all with the love of Christ.Remember to keep Christ first and all that
you do, including your marriage,and watch the Lord begin to transform your
life. Be blessed, h