Episode 7 Autistic Triggers

Eric and Bre are able to help thousands of other married couples around the world who were just like them to become healed, restored, & saved from the brink of divorce! As well as teach them how to develop a happy, healthy, & successful marriage through Christian principles. They are able to do that through their Marriage Podcast called Married With Autism.

Episode Transcript

(00:08):
Ce Be Supremes. Welcome to themarrit with Autism Podcast, a podcast as
designed to help neuro diapert and neurotypicalcouples, quote married and single learn how
to develop a happy, healthy ata set of amriage and Christmas trip supple.
Now, before we jump into theshow with our favorite host, property
is Brief Smilth and Pastor Eric Smilty, please enjoy these words from our sponsors.

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at gmail dot com to obtain moreinformation. Well, good evening, guys.

(01:40):
We were back. We are back. Yes, y'all know how we
do. We're going to start directlyin prayer. But before I do,
you know, we got a chanceto should go see my sister in law
get married last Friday, and thatwas such a beautiful service. Yeah,
yeah, I really, I wasso blown away by it. Yes,

(02:04):
I loved how they did everything intheir ceremony. It was just, like
I said, really beautiful. Soshout out to Alissa and Alex and we
pray many blessings over you guys,and really can't wait to see how the
Lord uses you guys in your marriage, because I know it's going to be
powerful. Amen. But all right, let's go ahead and jump right into

(02:27):
prayer. You want to pray usin, babe, Yeah, all right,
let's go to our Lord and prayer. Gracious Father, we just come
to you tonight, Lord, justtelling you, thank you God, thank
you. For another opportunity that wehave with a fellowship guid I'm on this
podcast God and I just fellowship.We just thank you for the iron and
sharpening iron moments. God in thename of We just thank you for you

(02:47):
and trusting myself and Brionna with thisministry assignment and you know, helping neurodiverse
marriages God, and learning like howto deal with autistic partners and even the
neurotypical man. God. But forthe near diverses ones, I speak lessons
over those marriages and the name ofJesus. Whatever their strife, God,
let there be no unity. Letthere be unity instead of division. God.

(03:10):
Right now, Father God, Ijust thank you for not only our
own testimony, but the many testimoniesthat we will hear. God. Where
like one spouse like didn't think thatthey were gonna make it when they wanted
to give throwing the towel God,but the testimonies you turn things around.
God. Thank you for turning notjust our marriage around, but I thank

(03:30):
you for turning the many marriages aroundthat we will affect them on this broadcast
today and all the broadcasts that wedo. God. So we just love
you God. We honor you.We know everything is sealed in the heavening
realms, and every prayer that wespeak, the angels war on our behalf
God, and we just thank youfor the angels God boring on our behalf

(03:50):
and putting things in action as wespeak them. If it's in your name,
we do pray Amen Amemn. Sotonight's topic God, it's going to
be on autistic triggers. So thisis gonna really help those neurodiverse couples.
If you're dating someone they may haveautism, or if you're already married to

(04:12):
someone who has autism, or youknow you're just new to it, I
think it's very important that you understandwhat their triggers are, right because a
lot of times us people that areneurotypical. So neurotypical means, you know,
we have an normal set way ofthinking things through in particular pattern,
and then neurodiverse they think things throughand we would consider abnormal pattern, but

(04:36):
it's not really abnormal. It's justhow they think. Right. We think
differently than us, and so whenwe see them behave in certain ways,
we automatically like, ooh, whythey got an anchor problem? Like what's
going on? You got too muchaggression, you got this. But I
think it's very important that we pointthings out like this because then you're like,
oh, you know what's the trigger, and you know how to help

(04:58):
and support your part in that.Right. So that's where I talked tonight.
Once again, use my husband alot, because this is the stuff
that happens in our day to daymarriage. But we're just gonna talk.
Like I said, I'm asking questionsand he's just gonna answer. Amen.
All right, So, Eric,so can you tell the people tonight?

(05:20):
I'm about what things trigger you?What things will like set you off or
you know that will get you tolike a point I call it like an
autistic rage sometimes or a meltdown.As you call it a meltdown. We
would think of it as an adulttinture tantrum, but they consider them autistic

(05:42):
meltdowns, right, And so,Eric, what types of things trigger you
to get to that point? Ithink of the main things that trigger me
are definitely like changes in my youknow, structure and like my routine.
Like if it's something that I don'tagree with, then I feel like,
hey, why is the chance comingdown like that? And it's just altering,

(06:03):
like how I do things. Itend to say something about it and
I'm like, nah, this ain'tright. I don't feel right about it.
And especially like when it's like aleadership thing and they're like, oh,
take it or leave it, andthen I'm like butting heads with them.
That causes more triggers. And anotherthing that triggers me is being overwhelmed
when I'm like trying to focus inon one task and trying to do one

(06:27):
thing at a time, and likeI always put these boundaries up and say
like, hey, like let mefinish this first, and then I'll like
get with you on that or canyou hold on that? And then once
I finish the task I was finishing, then I'll like go to that.
Because if you're trying to do toomany things at one time, it really
throws your brain off. It's like, oh, what was I doing?
Like or like if you're like inthe middle of something and then like you

(06:50):
get interrupted when something comes up orsomebody asks you to do something, then
it's like, oh, yeah,I forgot about this or this is still
laying aside. But I know forme, I like I'm very compartmentalized,
like I'll do this thing here likeall right, this is done. I'll
go the next thing and I'll doit like that, because it's it's an

(07:10):
organizational tool that us, some autisticpeople use, like being very organized,
very strict, straightforward with how thingsare done, and when it's out.
We we're different people and it andit shows in different ways, right right.
Can you talk about like other thingsthat trigger you. I know you

(07:33):
had talked about name calling things suchas, you know, areas of finance.
Can you can go into those alittle bit? Okay, So definitely
the finance piece and I'll go inthat first, and I'll go to the
name call the thing. So whenit comes to finances, I get very
triggered a lot. And my wifewould know about that because like when something's

(07:56):
not right and I'm like, oh, we don't have this money, and
I'm looking at you know, theaccount like, oh man, we don't
have this now, and that's whenI'm when that's when I got to know
come back, you know, thedevil with the word of God and say
no, this is this is notwhat it is. Eric. The Devil's
a lie. When you look atyour bank account statement and it one says
like sixty four cents or what haveyou. Not that it says that now,

(08:18):
but just just a hypothetical example.And when it comes to that,
that's when I feel, you know, less of a man. But God,
you know, he reminds me that, hey, you're doing the best
you can for your family, Eric, and you're you're doing you know,
at least you're making that effort todo it. And you know, this
stems from you know, at sixteenseventeen years old, seeing my father work

(08:41):
work at a job for eleven years. He loved the company, he loved
what he was doing. But thenthey started, you know, doing shady
stuff. They were acting shaky,and they they were like, oh,
you're a good guy, but we'rejust gonna have to lay you off.
And then that time came where youknow, he had to get you know,
a kidney removed because he had atumor. So we you know,

(09:03):
my father actually had one kidney stillstill living, praise God to that.
And you know, seeing him notbe able to work for some time.
You know, it took a fewyears from not working and then you know,
seeing that we couldn't do the thingsthat we once did as a family,
that really put a damper on myspirit because you know, I looked
up to him. I'm like,yeah, Dad can't work anymore, and

(09:26):
things are just different. Of coursethat was two thousand and seven, two
thousand and eight great recession, andso that that's why, you know,
that triggers me, you know,when it comes to things like that.
And of course we just you know, two years ago went through pandemic stuff
and any economic head when I feellike I got to like cover myself and
protect myself because I'm like, nope, this ain't happening. I know what

(09:48):
happened there. I'm not letting ithappen again. I'm very very protective of
myself. And as for the namecalling thing, like I get triggered,
like when I get called names byothers because I think they think, oh,
he's You're just putting a label onsomebody, and that's not you know,
their identity. And when you puta label on something on somebody,

(10:11):
it really does it really does damageto them. And oftentimes I would do
damage control and situations like that whenand I didn't know it, like if
I, like, you know,either call the names back or if I
you know, act out like ina physical way, not when it comes.
I don't. I don't consider myselfan aggressive person, but like if

(10:33):
someone says me the wrong way,yeah, it's not pretty because I like
to protect you know, not justmyself an identity, but even those that
I love. But like, whenit comes to name calling, it's it
just goes to show you that peoplejust don't respect what you have to offer
in life. So that that's definitelyanother trigger for me. And not just

(10:54):
name calling, but also be manipultiveand secretive when you know that you're wrong,
but you do it anyway. Iwill share with you guys in a
minute, you know, an experiencewith that that I just went through.
Yeah, those are you know,to further answer your questions, a babe
about the triggers on those two fronts. Okay, so when you get triggered

(11:18):
by these different things, what canyou walk us through what a typical episode
looks like for you? All right? So I'll just go ahead and walk
intrough it. Like a good examplewas, you know, at my last
job. I you know, itwas a very physical, physically paced job
where I'm you know, riding amachine and putting boxes on it, and

(11:41):
I'm wearing a wearable stanner and wearinga printer, and then anytime those things
don't work, because we was alwaystimed on filling up orders, and anytime
those things don't work, like ifone doesn't work or both of them don't
work, I used to get sotriggered to where I'm like I will start
getting angry. I would start yellingor screaming, or if something or if

(12:03):
the big thing falls after I buildit, you know, messing up my
time clock, it would trigger meto where I would I've had episodes where
I've literally had the storm out ofyou know that building and like go to
my car and be like I'm donewith this, I ain't doing this no
more, and like that, youknow, my meltdown. It just it

(12:26):
did a number to me there.You know, I worked there for six
years and I've it was the triggers. It just maybe especially when I came
finish on time and couldn't finish ontime and I'm staying there longer than needed
for other various reasons, it justmade me feel like, hey, I
wasn't doing enough. So it seemslike, especially for that particular example,

(12:48):
it was it was the time constraint, right the time that you had to
meet that particular metric that you hadto meet for your job, and if
you didn't meet that particular metric,you would literally get upset. Sometimes upset
would look like, you know,crying. Sometimes that exact could be I'm

(13:11):
really angry, I'm going to gopunch the stall until I break the door,
you know. You know. Anothergood example is I can't even think
of it. I don't remember whathappened, but I know a couple months
back, and I could have saidsomething, but it triggered him to the
point where he ended up literally breakinghis cell phone, like broken. I

(13:35):
was mad it was here, yeah, and I was just like, wow,
Like you really got that angry tothe point you have literally just broken
your cell phone. And you alwayscomplain and say that you don't have money
for things, right, or you'realways playing about money and finances, So
why would you break your cell phone? Right? That was a rough season,

(13:58):
So you know, it's just differentthings like that. Now. I
mean, he's never harmed me anyway, because I don't want to think like,
no, my husband's not abusive towardsme. But like I said,
I've seen the point of the rageof him breaking the phone or getting so
upset that he wants to slam doors. I guess in some way they feel

(14:18):
like they have to get that formof aggression. I always tell him go
to the gym, you know,if you need to go, find like
a punching bag and go text somestuff. Yeah, like you need to
go let that out. But destroyingmy house because you're having a moment,
I'm not with that. But Ialso, in my mind as his wife,
I'm like, Okay, what amI going to do? So when

(14:39):
he gets in those moments, andit's so funny because I have nicknamed him
because it's like, you know,you know, Bruce Banner's a cool dude,
y'all. He sit there, hedoes little scientific formulas, he's putting
stuff together. He's a very sweetguy. But the moment he gets he
gets set off what he goes intothat rage, right, And that's how

(15:00):
Eric is. He goes into thisrage. And so y'all know how Bruce
Banner like the I can't even thinkof her name, God bless her.
So but his you know, thewoman that he really loved, right,
she would always come and she wouldalways like, you know, put her
hand on his chest or try tomake some type of contact, so then
that he would like eventually shrink backdown. Like that's what I did.

(15:22):
I ain't allie, I take Itook it out of that. I said,
okay, well, let me justtry to calm him down. Let
me just be like, okay,bab you right, Like I'll try to
get him calm down, or I'lltry to tickle him or something like if
he looks too serious or something likethat, like I'll try to do something
to try to break that up.So it's not like you hope, hope
smash smash smash, It's like no, literally, that's how That's what it

(15:48):
looks like in my eyes if y'allare around. But but yeah, so
that's what I do. And ofcourse you don't praying and things like that,
but I try to I try todiffuse that. And if I'm very
if I'm the point though, wellI'm really upset, then one of us
have to walk away. So eitherhe leaves the house or I go in
the bedroom or something, but oneof us, like we have to literally

(16:11):
get away because if not, wewill be a screaming match. And oh
yeah, you know, but yeah, even like last night we had a
screaming match we did it ain't itwasn't that bad. It wasn't it wasn't
that bad. But I had tolike calm myself down before I did something
or said something I was going toregret, right, But luckily, like

(16:33):
I said, that's stuff we hadto learn in therapy, like what is
going to be your coping mechanisms becausestuff is going to happen, And how
are you going to maneuver yourself becauseit's not always going to be like,
oh my god, I'm in lovewith you and oh my god, I
just want to be underneath you allthe time. Some days you're looking at
each other like you don't get upout of my face. Or I'll put

(16:55):
that on about a missing it's aboutto be a missing the report and it's
not gonna be be okay. Ilove like I said, I love Eric,
I love here. But there's somedays though couples know what I'm talking
about. My god, I'll belike, Lord, why'd you put me

(17:17):
in him? But no, forreal, I love you, And so
why do a lot of times whenyou're when you're going through these triggers,
why do you think that you gettriggered? I think I get triggered because
I think it's a lack of controlin a sense, So how I can
how I conframe it is, youknow, the situation happened, whatever caused

(17:40):
me to get triggered. It's likeI've lost control of myself because I don't
have control of the situation and theway that you know it played out.
So what what I end up doingis in order to control it, Like
I know, I feel like Igot to make a point, and that's
when the the acting outcomes, theyelling, the punching of things, the

(18:04):
cursing, like like if something triggersme, like if it's like really severe,
I turned into a different person,as she said, like I turn
into like a really different person.And it's like you don't want to get
on their bad side because Eric willEric will set some things off and it's
not gonna be pretty. I'm tellingyou the truth, Like it'd be like

(18:27):
that. Like thank god, ithasn't been like that lately, where nothing's
been broken like or I didn't youknow, scrape you know, have like
skin that was like messed up onme or anything like that, yeah,
or nothing like that. Thank godthat hasn't happened. But like with those
big triggers, it's like those thingsact like all start to act out on

(18:51):
it because I feel like I needto be in control things when things go
out of control, if that makessense. But this makes a good point
because now you know you yet youdidn't hit something. I feel like it's
about to turn into a therapy sayokay, all right, here we go.
But you just you kept saying control. So you're a type of person
that feels like they need to beat control at all times. Right.

(19:17):
But as a believer, come on, now, this is where you either
have faith in God in these areasor you don't, right, because if
you're a believer or you you know, when you claim to be a believer,
God is the one that's supposed tobe supposed to be in charge.

(19:37):
He's the one that's supposed to betaking the wheel. He's the one that's
supposed to be leading and God inyour life. When you feel like you
have to be in charge of thesesituations, then that you are literally stopping
the Holy Spirit from moving in tothese particular situations, right to allow him
to move and function and flow theway he needs to. Because you want

(20:00):
to hold on and you got tounderstand God as a gentleman. So he
like, okay, well you're gonnahold on, Okay, hold on now
when you crash, and when youask me to come in, I'll come
in and I'll do the rest.But the thing is, it's like we
do that and then it's like,okay, God, I need you out
the driver's seat. I'm gonna continue. I'm driving now. And then guy's
like, but you just saw whathappened. You just crashed back there,

(20:22):
but you want to be okay,let's get crash again. And that's exactly
what the pattern of is real becauseit's real what cous be in and out
of trouble. Yeah, God,I'm gonna doing what you want me to
do. Yep, I do itfor a little bit. I stop,
I go on, I do itfor a little bit. I stopped,
I go on. And we haveto learn to just be like, Okay,

(20:45):
I'm going to have to learn toput my faith and trust. This
is what true faith is built upon. And see a lot of times autistic
people they want facts because their mindis off. It's very factual and scientific,
so they want things to be explained. But when you're dealing with the

(21:10):
supernatural. When you're dealing with God, you're dealing with faith. We don't
see God just like you don't seethe wind, but the wind's there.
And so for them, it's likea lot of times it can be a
little bit harder for them to understandthat concept of Okay, just have faith.
It's like, well, what you'resaying, I gotta have faith?
Faith? And what what am Ihaving faith in? And it's like God,

(21:32):
you know what I'm saying. Andit's like faith in God. Okay,
I believe in God, but faithwe're talking about faith. And so
this has been very like I said, it's been a very interesting journey because
that's all I'll always go back tothat way. You gotta have faith,
you know what I mean? ButI also have to understand that God did
have what doubting Thomas's and so whatdid he have to do? He also

(21:55):
had what Gideon's When Gideon was like, well, God, if it was
really you, I need you todo this, And then what would God
do? Because God is so cooland patient and loving, Okay, get
in and so he literally has todo Eric like that, like he does.
I'm like me, it's like nah, b you know me and you
got that type of relationship, I'lltell you what to do. You do
it or you don't. But I'mnot about to sit here every step of

(22:17):
the way try to prove some deeperic well God, unless you show me,
unless you show me where's the factlike that, and I'll be like,
oh Lord, please don't strike usdown like I'm that wife, because
I'm like, listen, I'm like, bro, did you just really tell
God? Like God this? Andthen you be wondering why stuff is jack

(22:41):
the times I'm like, stop tryingGod, but because God, and then
God will always come back to meas his wife and say, Brianna,
I created him, I created hisbrain, I created every cell in his
body. I created him. Ifashioned him. I don't need you to
be God. I know how totalk them, I know how to work
things out. I understand him.And it's like, okay, God,

(23:03):
well that's all you got to say. And then and then I have to
move out the way. You seewhat I'm saying. But like I said,
it's just been very interesting in thatI just wanted to bring that portion
out because that is a huge thingfor them, like that faith piece.
And it's like when you keep tellingsomebody's autistic faith? Is that babe?
That bab you know, but somepeople there are people like that that are

(23:25):
saved and they're just downt and youknow they're just like Downtown's just like,
but I need facts and I needthis and I need that, you know
what I mean. Everybody's built differently. Are some people who have strong faith
or some people have little faith?You know, we all have a measure
of faith and then from their rows, right, so you know, but
just wanted to bring that out tonight. Guys, what else you can?

(23:48):
Go? Ahead, babe, sowhat you feel like there's anything else that
may trigger you or anything like thator not trigger you, but what drives
you to be triggered or or isthat just the main point? Just the
self control, just not being incontrol, that's the control thing. And
also of course like with outside events. I know I touched on it earlier
with the finance piece, Like whenoutside events are like going you know,

(24:11):
when it looks like the world's goingto hell and it affects me and my
family one way, and I'm like, because once again it goes back to
this control piece. It does youdon't feel like you're in control and you
want to be in control because youfeel like if you're in control of everything,

(24:32):
then it'll be done right and it'llruns smooth, and then you don't
have to deal with, you know, the bad stuff. It can just
be the way that it's supposed tobe. But that's not life, because
in life you're gonna have what pigtrials and tribulations, peaks and valleys,
and that's the beauty of life,the peaks and the valleys, right,

(24:53):
And not even dare say the stepbackseven though I know it. Time we'll
be like, but we gotta understandbecause sometimes the stepbacks be to catapultars four
right, and so done know aboutit, to get so caught up in
that portion of you know that andgetting stuck there. I'm like, yes,
we need to have faith because right, because honestly, without faith is

(25:18):
it possible? Please God? Right? And he tells us that, But
like I said, I think thebeauty and the fact of him telling me
I know your husband, I builthis mind, I know how to speak
to him. I think that wasbeautiful within itself as well. So I
just want to bring that out.So how long does it take for you
to calm down? Eric? Afterit's all sitting down when you're going through

(25:42):
your triggers. Yeah, So Iguess it depends on the severity of them,
so I rank them. So ifit's something small, it usually takes
me like thirty minutes or an hourto calm down. Then'm like all right,
I'm cool now. But if it'slike something medium, it'll take it
usually takes a dig like most willtake a day. But if it's like
something very severe to where like I'vebeen like hurt deep down the soul and

(26:07):
really trigger, it'll take me twodays to like fully recover, or like
if it was something very severe kindof like what you know, I went
through this earlier this year. Thatinstance took me I think like two months
month and a half to fully recoverbecause I was so damaged from that.
I was like, there comes atime when people are hurt, like they

(26:30):
go on protective mode. And whatI mean by that is the protective mode
is like, oh, this happenedto me, I'm not letting anyone one
else into it again. And especiallywith relationships. I think we can apply
this to relationships as well, becauselike if you know, for a former
couple, yeah that you know havedated and then like they broke up for

(26:51):
whatever reason, the two parties,like, I know, we have our
long ways of doing it as men, and you know, definitely the women
they have their ways of doing itas well. Well. We'll go into
a protective mode and we're like,I'm not letting anybody hurt me anymore.
This relationship is bad that I wentthrough, so I'm not letting that happen
no more. And then it justcomes a time where we got to get
out of that protective mode and like, ask God for that healing, because

(27:17):
how are we gonna heal if we'realways in that protective mode carrying the baggage
from the past relationship? How doyou how do you really move on right?
Right right? And that goes backto my saying, and I'm working
on a book on it. Don'tgo out there and send my book out,
y'all in the process of writing it, but it's called you know,
the only way to heal, Theonly way to heal is to deal.

(27:40):
And you have to learn to dealwith those things that hurt you. You
have to learn to face your fears, you have to learn to confront my
God, what's the word I'm lookingfor? You got to learn to confront
things right, even things that mayhurt you. You got to you gotta
be able to take criticism too,right, because at times, and I

(28:04):
like to call it, you know, constructive criticism or feedback, But at
times, you know it's gonna bethings that people say and they're gonna say
it's so ill weal, but there'sprobably some truth into that. We're like,
Okay, you need to work onthat and it helps you to be
better. Or you might have somebodythat's loving that has your back and they're
saying something, but because you're soused to hearing the haters always saying something

(28:26):
negative about you, you automatically assumethat this person is doing that to you
when all they're trying to do isjust help you to be like, hey,
I'm just trying to help you becomebetter, but you take it as
something negative and it's like take thatand be like, Okay, I'm gonna
work on this. I'm gonna becomebetter. How can I become better than
I was yesterday? Because that shouldalways be our goal, Like how do

(28:48):
I become better than I was yesterday? Right? And like I said that
healing piece because a lot of usare broken people. We walk around broken.
We wound other piece people, Weoffend people. You know, sometimes
we don't even need to hurt otherpeople. But maybe we're in our own
headspace and we're hurting somebody else.Maybe you fit, you went out and

(29:11):
violated somebody, or you did somethingyou know, you battered somebody, or
you robbed somebody. I don't know, you know what I mean? Like
we are always we always have tosit there and just begin to to think
about these things and and and reallybegin to do self introspection because it's in
those times when we can sit thereand say, okay, this is what

(29:33):
I'm doing. But then you haveto ask ask yourself and really this is
really you asking in the Holy Spiritto help you to be like, okay,
Holy Spirit, but what's the rootCAUs here? What? Why am
I really doing this behavior? Whyam I really thinking like this? And
then be able to go in andbe like you know what, and in
the Holy Spirit be like this iswhy? And then you might snap.

(29:56):
It might he might snap you backto a uh something that happened to you
in chat you like, wow,I did not know that that thing in
childhood is still affecting me. Tothis day. And so then you begin
to now that you know where thetrigger's from, now you can be like,
Okay, now, let me beginto work on this to where I
do not allow this thing to triggerme in such a way to where now

(30:19):
I'm blowing up on my spouse,so I'm blowing up on my friends or
I'm in this environment because I've learnedto be like, Okay, I'm allowing
the Holy Spirit to come in andguide me and to help me, and
the okay, Holy Spirit, allowme to get healing in this area,
allow me to forgive those that violatedmy trust or violating me in any type

(30:41):
of way. And then it's like, you know, and sometimes you sometimes
you got to keep forgiving people andforgiving people and forgiving people and forgiving people
and forgiving people right until it trulybecomes a true solid thing, because sometimes
you be sitting there you forgive,and the next day you get mad again
and it's like, Lord, gotto forgive again, And it's like,
yeah, because you haven't really letgo of that thing. But I'm telling

(31:04):
you you gonna eventually let go ofthat thing, because you're gonna, like
I forgive, I forgive and beginto pray over that situation, begin to
pray over the offenders, and evenreframing that at times can really help.
And then y'all know me too.If you can't do it about yourself,
don't do it about yourself. Goout there and get you some help.
Y'all know. I'm a big proponentponent of therapy, especially trauma therapy,

(31:30):
especially because it's in the black community. I think we all need a trauma
therapist where they can't allow us tojust kind of walk through the areas of
trauma in our lives right so thatwe can unpack that stuff little bout little
and begin to work that stuff out. And you're and you're you know,
and I can literally say from myown personal testimony that has helped me because
I was a person that was easilytriggered by everything. I mean, I

(31:52):
just slow, I would just bemad, explode. Everything made me mad.
But now to the point where I'mlike, no, now, I'm
not saying like I don't ever getbad, because my husband just told you,
like last night, I was bad, but I'm cool right now.
But back in the day, Istill would have been mad about whatever we
was upset about yesterday. You knowwhat I mean, Like I said,

(32:14):
it would have been mad. Butthat's just that's just the beauty of growth.
And then also too, getting youa deliverance minister and not one of
these people that claim to be adeliverance minister. I'm talking about really that
that really understands and functions and theauthority of a deliverance minister and they can
they really know how to do deliveranceministry, that type of deliverance minister,

(32:35):
okay, because you you know,because some things only can be casted out,
you know what I mean. There'slike levels of emotional keilling. Yes,
there's levels of emotional killing soul healingthat you can get and you you
know, and that's it. Thatwas your release. That's what you needed,
right because your soul needed that.But what about your spirit? You

(32:58):
know what I mean? What aboutthe rest of you? And so it's
like I definitely suggest getting deliverance becausethat was another level that helped to unlock
me and my husband both earlier thisyear when we were able to walk through
deliverance. And this deliverance was tense. We was in there for like six
weeks now, I was like eightweeks and we were faithful weekly. We

(33:22):
were faithful on a weekly basis,but we needed that, we needed to
be faithful in order to get whatwe were looking for. And I'm telling
you, it was like once Igot that that and everybody knows earlier,
especially if you were watched a lotof my pictures and stuff like that.

(33:43):
Yeah, that spirit our rejection cameoff heavy because I was dealing with that.
I had been dealing with that sincea child, and dealing with that,
I mean even I would even sayit even went all the way back
to the womb when I was inmy mom's womb of just rejection and literally
to feel that thing when it cameout, the breaking of it, I'm
telling you, it just it tookme to a new level. That's why

(34:07):
now I'm like, okay, youknow what I mean, Like, look,
some people look at me and theybe like, you know, I
don't like her. I'm like,okay, I don't like you either,
you know what I mean? Likewhatever, you know, I'm moving on
my life. So you know,but hey, we all we all have
to you know, we all haveto go through our own respective journeys and

(34:27):
things like that. Amen. Butbabies are some scriptures you want us to
meditate on tonight. Yes, I'sgonna read them tonight. Okay, all
right, y'all. Eric's gonna readus some scriptures that he wants us to
meditate on tonight and the rest ofthe week. Yep. So the first
scripture I have is a Philippians fourfive through seven, and it says read

(34:52):
an amplified version, and it says, let your gentle spirit, your graciousness,
i'm selfishness, mercy, tolerance,and patience be known to all people.
The Lord is near. Do notbe anxious or worried about anything,
but in everything, every circumstance andsituation, by prayer and petition, with

(35:14):
thanksgiving, continue to make your specificrequests known to God. And that scripture
really spoke to me because the Lordtells us and assism children, don't be
anxious for anything. Kind of goesback to Matthew six a parallel scripture where
he talks about not worrying and whenhe tells us that you know, I

(35:37):
feed the birds in the air,so how much more will I feed you?
Because you know, in life wewere like anxious about especially when it
comes to like, you know,things that affect like our lives like For
I not only speak to those thathave autism like myself, but like anyone
out in the world that hey,you know, you don't have to be
anxious for anything. Like we havea God of the universe that loves his

(35:59):
children, and he protects his children, and he he doesn't want anybody to
perish, not just in terms oftheir soul's salvation, but even naturally on
this earth. So that that justspoke to me. And I also wanted
to read this is a common scripturetwo Timothy one one through seventh, chapter
one, verse seven. Excuse me, Second Timothy one, verse seven,

(36:22):
and it says for God to notgive us a spirit of timidity or cowardice
or fear, but He has givenus a spirit of power and of love
and of sound judgment and personal discipline. Ability is that result and a calm,
well balanced mind and self control.I'm gonna read that section again,

(36:44):
all right. I'll just yeah,abilities that result in a calm, well
balanced and self control, which weall know. Self control is one of
the fruit of the fruits of thespirit, you know, self control.
And I know this spoke to mebecause I'm gonna tell you not just because
I'm in a better environment and betterplace, but I have more self control

(37:07):
now. And it's like, ifI feel myself going into my fleshly ways,
then the Holy Spirit of mind melike, you know, I need
to practice self control. Do'll saythat real quick? And it's like,
yeah, that self control is youknow, so important because that self control
being a gift of the spirit,it keeps us in our character and God

(37:28):
God's character and how we should acteven when things go wrong. It's like,
we got to make that choice.Are we gonna choose to act out
and feel like angry or are wegonna choose to you know what, not
not get angry. You know,deal what you had to do with it
and just give it to God,because given to God is better than you

(37:49):
trying to take it on yourself being, you know, in that controlling position.
Express self control is my new saying. Practice self control, but don't
try to be in control all thetime. That is good Man of God
again. Okay, so practice selfcontrol, but never try to be in
control like that. That's even convictingme myself. As I just spoke that

(38:14):
Amen, that was good. Thatwas really good. Eric. Yeah,
just a revelation from the man above. Amen. Amen, Well this has
been just a blessing. You guysknow that we love coming on here and
just doing this with you guys asalways, and you know, man,

(38:37):
I really don't have much else tosay tonight, but I think tonight was
good. I think it was justan eye opener just for everybody just to
be able to just like I said, to learn more about the different triggers.
And like I said, this isthis is Eric triggers. But I
wanted to talk about triggers in generalbecause a lot of autistic people are triggered.

(38:58):
Some people can be triggered because theyhave sensory issues right, or they
may have you know, too muchsound too much like too many people around
lusty touch, you know, soyou know, you know, so I
always just like to point that out, like people have different triggers, and

(39:20):
I just want Er to talk abouthis trigger tonight, the things that actually
trigger him to get him to thepoint where he's out of character, because
ninety nine percent of the time whatyou see on here, this is how
he is. But the moments thathe is triggered, it's like, oh
wow, it's like a different character. But it's like I don't want anybody
to ever leave and be like,well, really you know, or you

(39:40):
know, if you ever see somebodyyou know and they are autistic or neuroeverse
and they're acting out, you knowwhat I mean, It's just it could
be a part of their actual diagnosis. So don't like prejudge them or you
know, make fun of them orcall them names and things like that,
be because you see this type ofbehavior, right, it's just, you

(40:04):
know, it's a part of theirdiagnosis unfortunately. And so yeah, like
I said, I pray this guy'shelped you tonight as always, and we
are gonna go ahead and pray youguys out and then we will see you
guys next week next week back atthe regular time. Amen, all right,
bebe, I'll let you close usout, all right, that's closed.

(40:27):
Pray Heavenly Father. We just thankyou God. We just thank you
for this message on triggers. God. We just thank you for allowing us
to practice more self control so we'renot you know, out of control and
trying to be in control right now, God, we just surrender control to
you, God. We surrender ourdesires to you, God Father. I
just thank you for tonight the transparencyand the ability to not just share my

(40:52):
own testimony with you know, triggersare God, but also like giving them
helpful points and insign on how wecan combat these triggers are when we're getting
triggered, how we can wheel ourselvesback and be like, you know what,
don't go that way because if yougo that way, you're going to
act out of character. You'll hurtyour character witness. So right now,

(41:13):
Father God, I just thank youfor your holy spirit leading this broadcast tonight,
and I pray for those couples outthere God that you know are you
know, it feels like whatever situationthey're going through, it feels like it's
uncontrollable. But allow them to understandand know that you are in control.
You you wiel them back to eachother because it is you, God,

(41:34):
It is you that get wheels themback to each other. And more like
more more so to you, God, Father, I just thank you for
tonight. I just thank you foryou know, the nuggets that have been
dropped in our spirits, and Ijust thank you for this this message and
being you know, very strong andGod. We just cover ourselves once more

(41:57):
as we have. Let there besweet sleep tonight, let there be protection
around our homes, our finances,our possessions and everything that we hold dear.
And we just asked that you protectus not only as we sleep,
but you know, throughout the restof the days of our lives, as
we do your work. And it'sin Jesus' name we do pray. Amen.

(42:17):
Amen. All right, guys,see you next week. Bye.
Thank you guys for listening to anotherepisode of Mary with Autism. We would
love to hear from you regarding certaintopics that you would like to see a
dressed, life changing testimonies you wouldlike to share, or information on how
you can become against on the show. Please email us at hippo at Marriage

(42:38):
with Autism dot com. As always, we love you all with the love
of Christ. Remember to keep Christfirst and all that you do, including
your marriage, and watch the Lordbegins to transform your life. Be blessed.