July 8, 2024 • 25 mins
¿Os pasa a vosotras también que os volvéis más asociales con el tiempo? ¿Será cosa de la edad? Antes hacíamos amigos con la misma facilidad que respirar, y ahora... se nos hace una montaña jejeje. Una de nuestras miles de conclusiones en este podcast de mierda es que creemos que al "madurar" nuestro aguante para la gente que ni fu ni fa baja a -100 jajajaja. ¿Y tú, qué opinas?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It was good for everyone. It' s been two weeks for you,
but five minutes for us. We' ve paused to put on some stems
and here we continue to talk aboutthe issue that I think a lot of
people are going to feel identified,which is about the laziness that it provokes
when you' re meeting new peoplefor years. I want to refer to
(00:22):
that as well as the fact thatI do like to meet new people,
but it gives you more trouble,it gives you more, because jolin,
to have a good friendship or tomeet people, you need time, you
need dedication and many times you areat ease with your circle of friendships and
you say they have to be likeI have to come very well to meet
someone and deepen in friendship, thenwe become like a little bit more,
(00:46):
as reluctant more when we turn outto be more lazy, as we are
more dull. I don' tknow, I think I' m more
bland, which is kind of cool. Ah like and I' m the
first one that I love to knowand talk, but then, like I
' m going to dig deeper,I' m going to continue to presume
with those I have and very rarelywith people in I' m going to
also plan and besides, I thinkthis does have a lot to do with
(01:08):
age, because people, that is, I, for example, considered myself
the super social, super friendly zonethat has conversation with everyone. I mean,
it' s not like I've always been a person who gives
a shit about people, but eventhough I' ve always been like that,
it' s like now, asnice as it gets. Whatever it
is literally gives me laziness. That' s what you said, that'
s not what I care about whatlife, that is, I know that,
(01:29):
especially in this kind of relationship thatyou have that you know if they
' re sporadic. When you meetsomeone at a party or you' re
cool and maybe jaya, but you' re saying that, honestly, you
' re not gonna make it,I mean, I don' t have
time or I' m not gonnasee you again or what I' m
gonna make an effort for. Wevalue it there in what the effort of
a good friendship. So c whenyou' re eighteen, you think everyone
' s a literal friend to me, so what happens now that you suddenly
(01:52):
say join there' s really nicepeople, there' s super hot people,
but then at the moment you saybuah to be my friend, because
I don' t know you orwhat to do in time. I have
to meet him. You know thennow we' re not so predisposed to
spend that time with people anymore.It' s about adding. And I
also believe that when we are small, or small, when we are seventeen,
(02:13):
eighteen, or sixteen, we areless formed in the sense of characteristic
filters. I mean, we're a little bit more fluffy, we
adapt to anything, and then we' re able to have very different friendships,
to meet very different people, andeverybody get into that sack. What
I have noticed as the years havepassed, is that I have become so
(02:36):
much, so much more exquisite,because it is, as I have already
become more clear how I am,I am clearer what I want. I
' m more clear about who Iwant to spend time with. Then it
' s harder for everyone to filter. I mean, if before the filter
of my friendship was passed by fifteenpeople, now it' s passed by
two or none I explain And it' s already more or now I'
(03:00):
ve just added someone, to mycontact gobiesta, to the possibility of knowing
if it' s someone with whomI literate, I have a crush because
there are still people that you know, you don' t have like own
a spectacular connection of how I breakup with this person. It' s
just, literally everything fits. ButI would even dare to say that it
is no longer only at the levelof meeting new people, but friends we
(03:23):
had four years ago. Now life, that is, is not that anything
has happened, nor do you haveto get rid of that person, because
literally you don' t share absolutelyanything. So when you have, when
you' re young, when Joe, when you' re younger, you
don' t care if you don' t share, well, you go
(03:44):
out to party, you see yourselffrom time to time now that now you
already say if I don' tshare anything, the time I have that
is also smaller, because we work, because we have commitments, because I
don' t know what, Idon' t know how many happens to
say. Well, then, I' m going to dedicate myself to someone
that I' d like to bewith at least has something to talk to.
I' m interested in your life, because it' s also something
else, it' s just thatbefore I was there, tell me that
(04:04):
I' m really interested in thelives of people I really want or don
' t trust that I don't care about other people, but you
know we' ve been a while. The leap from quantity to quality plan
no longer needs to be the mostpopular and have three hundred and fifty-
eight friends, because I think that' s one thing you understand. So
I was going on about the morepeople coming to my birthday, the better,
the more friends I have the coolerI am and now it' s
(04:27):
like from my point of view,and I don' t care exactly.
I mean now I' m veryhappy to have the friends I have,
which are X. But I'm saying fuck it is that the friends
I have don' t trade themfor absolutely nothing. I don' t
trade them for fifty friends, whichI don' t care about fifty friends
more than anything else, because I' m one of those who thinks to
have a friendship. I mean,having a friendship is a job, just
like having a partner. So I, those people who have three hundred and
(04:47):
eighty- five real friends to explainto me how I do it pussy,
it does yes, yes, tomeet each one of them, to light
breads, to worry, to makeplans in plan the agenda and or n
does not give me to have morethan ten friends. And literally it'
s not that one thing is thatby chance, because you find someone ja
and that you' re like peoplewho know that already Elector mipiime told me
(05:10):
over the years you' re goingto know who' s known, how
familiar. The known point when youalready, instead of being old, is
also that you have a beer,uh, and what you have a good
time with. The concept friend thatis very different from known, because known
is like ah levis not known isyou can consider a person who drinks a
coffee, a beer that then maybealready for six months, you don'
t know anything about that person orsuch then that that' s true,
(05:32):
that it' s teaching you lifeand has taught you in the experiences of
who is really known, who isreally friend and who really isn' t
friend anymore, you know then.And besides, I also believe what I
think of friendships before. Yes,before, when we were younger, our
(05:53):
friends were guided by a very concretecircumstance, that is, you, when
you were at school, had yourschool friends if you were going to have
more college, you had your extra- school friends, as you were going
to summer to x place in summeryou had your summer friends yes, you
went to college and you have yourfriends from the University, but what happens
(06:13):
when the COHL is finished, youfinish college, you finish our school and
you start making an adult life thatis unfortunately much more lonely, because life
is much more than that makes friends. Also the only point that you have
a similar alcohol to uni is work. But now, for example, a
lot of people work for you,it' s autonomous, you go his
fucking ball. So it' slike you don' t have those friends
(06:36):
belonging to a group anymore. They' re already the friends you' ve
been forming throughout your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the
ones you keep and the ones youdon' t, but you don'
t have those little groups that werebasically related to something you did, you
totally know. So, of courseit' s not anymore, I have
nothing in common with you. Well, in this case you have the podcast,
(06:57):
but I, who know we nolonger live in the city mint no
longer share a university that we simplyshare nothing. So, if we see
each other, it' s becausewe make the effort to see each other,
and that happens to me with allmy friends. Now yes, if
I see them, it' sbecause both I and those people want to
see me before you give the Universeevery day, then we always saw each
other. Well, you always andyou and I were always out. But
of course, but it' senergy and all the friends of the uni
(07:20):
and we saw them because we werein the U and then, now,
when time has passed, we seethat on both sides the effort is made
to see it, because now wehave to make an effort. Now it
' s not just me anymore Ihave to do something And there are my
friends. No, no, that' s not very clear. And that
' s when you realize who youreally want, who you really want,
(07:41):
and who and what friendship is reciprocal, because you can be that a lot
that you finish a college stage.You try to see your friend from the
uni and you get along great,you see every day and you see that
they don' t get married,they get married in the sense that she
doesn' t want to see you, she doesn' t join the plans.
You know then face up there bynoses of distances. If you don
' t do to see you andthe two people for an effort or not.
(08:01):
No, it certainly says 100 percent? If you and I, for
example, didn' t make theeffort to see each other or so great,
it would have been a very nicestage of college, but there wouldn
' t be anything else anymore.You know, not clear, 100%
clear. And besides, because timeis shorter, we are more elective.
And besides, I think he alsonotices a lot is that before, despite
(08:24):
knowing that surely to personal sayings hewould not see it anymore, he did
put the effort, the effort.And now, if I' m at
a party, I' m ina bar, or, I' m
in a former place with you,external agents make me exactly the same.
That' s why I don't care if we stay at home or
what you do in a country houseor whatever, because I don' t
(08:45):
care about the people around, becauseit wants to be that we do,
and it' s already done ifI' m here to be uniquely and
exclusively with you, if you bringmore of a great one. But that
I explain to myself is not likebefore that we were far more aware of
what was going on around us.From there, look, we' re
going to field what' s goingon and it' s clear how much
I heard invited. I don't know what. You had a desire
(09:05):
and a line to go and meetwhole new people and tell them to see
who' s there. I don' t know what an egg sucks or
is really exactly the same. Look, I' ve got you, too.
I don' t have a bigchange because the first time I messed
up and when Valen was in Dublin, okay and he went to Spain,
and how he organized some sort ofcalendar of the people he was going to
see and such a tremendous burden.I remember the first menda is an audio.
(09:26):
I' m super overwhelmed. Ithink I' ve been battling plans.
He couldn' t even come toMallorca because he already oversaturated everything and
Mallorca for bad in this degree,you know to come here and be with
my family and all good. AndI remember I said wow what happens now,
when it' s organized, notin Dublin anymore, but when it
' s back from Australia, thenthere' s something. I remember he
sent me the plans he had andhe told me to stick to everything you
(09:48):
want and I say hey okay becauseI mean you' re not doing that
crazy either and he tells me Ifeel like it. You told me I
feel like being with those I wantto be with and I don' t
feel like Complicated you know and seethat we haven' t, we haven
' t stopped, but like you' ve even seen a big change in
the fact of prioritizing plans. Youknow, you remember that calendar you sent
me. I' m sure Iwas overwhelmed. I don' t get
(10:11):
it every time, and it's not like we' re talking in
so long either. How long ago, a year and a half ago,
two of you attended Dublin and,obviously, the same thing as now when
you passed this area that you wantedto have a lot of people and such,
but I remember that I messed upwith that calendar, I mean,
I don' t know how yousurvived that much plan, but that'
s why I tell you it willmake super different. This time I don
' t know if you' vefelt more comfortable and quieter. It'
(10:33):
s maybe it' s a lotquieter, because I' ve reduced a
lot more, so look at thisdoesn' t mean that people I haven
' t seen are because I don' t care. It' s like
I' m letting things flow more. It' s clear. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I think ofyou in my head. If I have
to see them, I' llsee them and if I don' t
have to see them, it's okay. I' ll see about
that, but I' m notgonna put my whole life in. Yeah,
(10:54):
like that anxiety to tell you,I mean, I have to take
a course here now and see whodoesn' t know who and how,
but I also realize the people whohelp in that process. There have been
people who have taken flights to comehere and see me you know just like
I have at other times. Andthen people who don' t work hard,
it' s okay, which meanswe' re doing it, so
(11:16):
I don' t know if we' re taking him on a podcast.
Not the fact that nothing' sgoing on. When a friendship goes out
little by little, it' ssad, it' s sad, but
you don' t pass anything abruptly. They are literally stages in pla.
It' s worth a lot thefirst ones you lose and the first ones
you realize about God. You don' t share the same with that friendship
(11:37):
anymore, but the moment you passthat mature click like you see it as
nostalgic, but you don' tsee it. I remember that the first
process of saying buay I' mnot seeing this friend until chida or she
' s disturbing me. And nowwhen I see that a friendship such as
I see it more provokes me alittle scratched, but more like that first
friendship that you lose, because youno longer share anything with that person that
(11:58):
has not happened, never there isanything, but that, because by life
you know then I do not knowwhat we are literal people. When you
start listening to this podcast and suddenlyget on say I loved this podcast,
I' m going to wear onea year ago and something looks. There
' s girls, but as youlove to see she' s gone in
an aquimedia and I don' twant to imagine in two years, I
(12:18):
mean, we' ll be talkingabout I don' t know no,
but that' s literally it.I do have a hundred percent change there
in terms of two different people andmore than anything else, because I used
to give a lot of priority tothe social world and meet people and be
with people and do things with peopleand plans and bomb and boom and bam.
And now it' s like I' ve learned so much more to
(12:41):
enjoy much quieter moments. Or notjust me, because it' s true
that I still didn' t getto that point that I' m super
good alone, that I' mhaving Joja with myself, that' s
true. But I know I havereferences to people that I' m not
going to say names that know you' re alone very well and enjoy your
time very much alone and it makesme very jealous. Then it' s
average here you' ll talk aboutguachicos. I found the best. I
(13:05):
' m not clear in the middleof traveling alone, I don' t
want to know anything about anyone,no, but it' s true as
it is, because in the end, the person we' re going to
spend the most time with is ourselves. And surely if I get to super
old and you all die I won' t have friends. In conclusion,
it is not true that yes,that is. Finally, I want to
(13:26):
be I want in seventy years tobe there with our sticks taking us there,
in seventy years we' re goingto be ninety- five. I
mean, you haven' t suckedtoo high. So it' s worth
a hundred, fifty, forty worthforty. At the end with ninety-
five recording the podcast of guap thetape and that we understand absolutely. No,
no, it wouldn' t bewonderful, but sor because there are
(13:52):
people who haven' t even hadthis, this change, which has always
been so. And in fact,those people who' ve always been like
this have always been classified a littlebit as weird in a way to look
at this social that I don't want to do anything or such to
vassar a little bit of things.Saga every day now every time I say
bua me yes, like every timeI think we look older and we understand
that these people seem to me,because it seems to me the smartest,
(14:13):
not the total. And because besides, it' s coming to me like
a lot of things, because thistopic is really very interesting. The other
day I was talking to a friendwho knows she' s gone to Madrid
to study a master' s degree. Yeah, and Auntie was telling me
that it' s taking me alot to feel comfortable, and I'
m 100% comfortable with the master' s people and they' re telling
(14:33):
her not to scratch you is thatnow we' re no longer, we
' re not that spongy, thatis, because it takes a lot more
to find the people you' refeeling 100% comfortable with. I don
' t know why. I don' t have the explanation. I don
' t know, but it's happened to me, too, in
Australia that it' s a lotharder for you to be you in any
circumstance. I used to wear youif I don' t care. And
(14:56):
now it' s true that it' s like I realize because I know
when I' m suddenly back tobeing with my old friends and I don
' t always talk about my wholelife. I know we' re five
years old. I mean, I' m rocking a lot of friendly stuff.
For me it' s really thatI' m another completely different person,
without any effort. I mean,I' m and I' m
funny, effortless. I' mnice, without the effort. I also
(15:18):
allow myself not to be nice allthe time, but I can be a
boarder, because they' re theasshole. Instead, it' s like
you' re clear, I'm literal, and when you talk,
I' m with new people.I don' t know I' m
more taken care of. I can' t help being more. I want
to imagine wrong in measure. I' m telling you, he' d
even give me what he' dsay, you' re okay, you
(15:41):
' re in or you' renot, but it' s not true,
right. It' s like Idon' t know. I'
ve lost that ability to but becauseyou have more filter and you say hey,
because of course they' re alreadythere. If I can' t
be, I think it' sa point to say how well you'
re doing. When you' recomfortable, okay and when you' re
not comfortable, I don' tknow why you feel it in the environment
and you' ll have a rejectionof being with that group of people,
(16:02):
that is, you' re notgoing to make that effort like you were
smaller than you were saying. Well, I' m gonna try, well,
I' m not gonna try topull my side out. Funny,
I' ll be more correct andsuch not now is like jon for what?
And if they don' t acceptme or I feel weird, then
until I pass the time I saywhat to do. But then, as
soon as I can, I'll leave with the people who make me
feel comfortable. You know, andwe didn' t think that before,
(16:25):
it was like we used to beunhappy with spoons in any kind of group,
you know, or in any kindof situation. And the natural is
not that. The natural thing is, to be as we are and to
be with the people that we arecomfortable with, then that gives it.
That gives it. I think becauseyou had your friends that worked, because
you were putting yourself in there undera lot of pressure and it cost me
(16:49):
a lot and that those people Imean it' s not that anything happened,
nor is it that you already hadany problems with that grief, but
that suddenly you come up with aday and so many a day, at
a dinner, at such a meetingand you say that you don' t
share anything with that person anymore andyou were trying to make an effort,
(17:10):
even talking about whatsapp. Saying soif I really want to be with malen
having a coffee for what I'm going to try it' s worth.
You know, there are people whokeep taking me now, you know,
no, so it' s somethingthat causes you a lot of pain,
because you say how much hard you' ve done for that friendship,
but that friendship has had as anexpiration date. You know, like,
(17:32):
then I think this three, twoor three years ago caused me more anguish.
Now it keeps provoking me because Iam and a messa that strikes me
a lot, that I worry alot and such, but it is no
longer I am not going to makethe effort. I' m not going
to make that effort. You knowclear then total and I get enough of
their situations, Maria Joge, butit comes to me more before they say
(17:56):
that nothing has happened absolution, butyou do not realize that you do not
share the same thing and it ishard. Uh, it' s because
it' s like it' sa process, it' s not a
bitch, it' s a bitch, but it' s like you'
re getting a little bit more thesame, because you' re already saying
(18:17):
if it' s the same,it' s that I don' t
have time and then also that thegood thing about friendships. Really or as
you want to call it, it' s that despite not seeing you,
despite maybe, not having a contactand I really, when I' m
out with my friends and friends,it' s not that I talk all
the time or much less, butit' s literally those people you meet
again and it' s not alwaysthat it looks like a clisie, but
it' s true that absolutely nothinghas happened. Or and it' s
(18:37):
like you' ve seen yesterday youcatch up, in five seconds watching dad
and that' s how you forgetyou haven' t been. You forget
you haven' t been for ayear or so without seeing each other.
And it' s like wing everythingso normal you know and that with other
people doesn' t happen, thatis with people who are so forced friend,
whatever you want to call it,it doesn' t happen anymore.
And besides, what I do noticeis that I see it even more clearly
(19:02):
now when I see those situations asa spectacle, something spectator. Yes,
when those situations of wastas people areforcing you to be friends because you notice
a lot, but because, aswe have already gone through that process,
because you notice it and you detectit, but yes, I don'
t know and beyond, also whenyou get older as you also pass situations,
(19:27):
as more like many situations, itis also super nice to really realize
who your friends are and in thefriendships in which they have been like the
good and the bad and not onlyin hij jaha of the University in the
bar you know then that is alsolike that it makes you stay closer and
have the expectations of a much higherfriendship, because I, for example,
now know someone and with the friendshipsthat surround me that I feel that I
(19:49):
am super lucky, because you havea standard here bua until that person gets
standard and is the good in thebad and that you try the same thing
that I try with my friends ufffyou know no longer, but I clearly
already have a very long ra ofthings, that you have good cost,
you know totally, you know hownow is the part of connecting with that
(20:10):
I spend it phenomenal. But youhave to add the part of effort,
of care, of expectations of thatperson, because it is true that before
what we also called party friends,that person that you have super good fun,
ha ha ha, but it iswonderful. It' s just for
the party that that person isn't gonna be there if you have a
problem or not. It' sthe person with whom I am that my
(20:32):
trick to know if a person,that friend of another person or even I
can apply it to myself is thatyou would stay with that person alone to
have an exact coffee before if youwouldn' t give yourself a drink with
that person or a coffee is thatit' s not an inaccurate tumbio.
He' s an acquaintance, aperson you spend time with fromenan jahaja,
but he' s not your fuckingfriend, because I' ve seen her
(20:52):
pass from being in a big groupand thinking that in this group of ten
people I would have three told toGod, alone I' ll have a
coffee and tell me my life.The rest is like they' re filler
characters in this group that and wehave great and such, but yes,
but that you notice and you'd be surprised how many people have asked
this question and with own people intheir group say that I wouldn' t
(21:14):
be alone with some of them andI' m really happy now because my
good group friend group is that yes. You got fruit with all of them,
I' d be alone. Youknow, I don' t talk
to anyone I don' t haveto be alone with for coffee anymore.
You don' t have a goodfilter to know yes. It' s
not true. And I, forexample, also do one thing that already
(21:37):
as a closure came to me thefact of one thing that I love now
is that you have your friends settled. Okay, I' ve got my
friends sitting down, and then theycan come new, and we' re
not here saying we don' twant to meet anyone. But also one
thing I like is your friends,who are very good, I know them
and I, for example, withfriends of yours that I can already consider
(21:59):
friends, would have a coffee.Of course, you' d stay with
my friends That' s a goodpoint and it' s a wonderful thing
because it' s how I wasgoing to forget, wow. But then
the moment you know that you,for example, are very close to me,
then you know that the people Itake with me, as far as
possible, most of them will likeyou because they have it. Part of
me you know is that it's a very cool thing is literally I
(22:22):
was going to say at some pointthat I' ve forgotten that hermetism is
about meeting new people, creating anexception when he' s a close friend
of a caring friend there like he' s already passing Filters, if he
' s already here and seeing aperson I don' t know absolutely anything
about, without any kind of reference. I' m not going to make
the effort. But if a superfriend of Ana comes in and they tell
(22:42):
me, hey, Auntie, you' re living in a city and there
' s this super friend of mine, it' s like I' m
saying, if he' s afriend of Ana' s, you might
not like him. But normally Ialready know that if he' s a
friend of Ana' s, I' m gonna like him. Sure,
and it happened. Yeah, there' s a few friends of yours I
' m fucking with. I havegone to sleep at their homes, I
(23:02):
have done things with them without havingbeen to me I love the moment,
therefore and you have invited my fackingbrother to your birthday and I do not
even go to see that it islike in the end the male, because
it is like bad for me,it is like a sister, but in
the end you take and say,because how I will not take care of
his environment and make it up thatwhat I tell you can be exceptions,
then that yes, but that isthey are very friends of friends if they
(23:26):
are immediately noticed when a friend ofyours presents you very friend of his that
you say it is worth understanding,because those people are friends, because if
I am friends of X I donot know how that I no longer understand
the friendships they are so diverse,because it is that it is noticed when
you do know and the other dayMalene I did it with way of celestials
(23:48):
in friendship we fuck and I havemy best friend in Barcelona. Valen has
one of her best friends in Barcelonaand we said that she has to meet,
that is, she has to meetand they have to do more and
it' s worth aunty. I' m gonna talk like that. Friendship
yes, yes, yes, themost friendly. We' re talking friendship
and it' s like we don' t even paint in this. But
since we know they' re sogood friends of ours, which is how
(24:08):
we need them to meet then,and because you know that since she'
s super friend, mine and he' s super friend, you' re
gonna get along. Indeed, thereis not your aunt, she knows you
get along very well with her andI get along very well with him.
So, as ay perf nothing fails, so it' s true b It
' s like this meeting new peoplething. For me the exception is that
I' m either a friend ora friend. Yeah, there' s
(24:29):
something else there. I put inanother energy, I put in another attitude.
You' re already happy, becauseit' s like a new person,
but already knowing how about then I' m very good when I'
m not interested, because ana isstill given quite better. He does not
me, I have come out likean ass face and I don' t
give a fucking fear to what I' m telling myself. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, like that, I noticea lot of you when you feel
like meeting someone, even though,besides, I have mostly memories in Dublin
(24:52):
of other friends who were also alot more social. Not when it happens
nice, nice and polite. Yesand I am the opposite and it was
always up to them to talk tothe person who spoke in English. I
wanted if I came to someone inthe group that the English truth up your
ass you that that I have seenvaguien putting a face and say already in
(25:12):
plan a little bordé type cut youa little bit, do not put the
face put face of poker face,but do not put a face of perspite
from here is that it allowed meto kill him with the look, that
is to say I had made youthat it was not rays of those greens,
you would have loaded more than anumber such a crunch in the face
of itself canyu wow. But good, but good. I think it'
(25:33):
s clearer, clearer water and nothingto comment on following us on our social
networks, clearer water to podcast Ihope you will cuestte on our set.
The next one will be in anotherand nothing will be seen in the next chapter Chao
It was good for everyone. It' s been two weeks for you,
but five minutes for us. We' ve paused to put on some stems
and here we continue to talk aboutthe issue that I think a lot of
people are going to feel identified,which is about the laziness that it provokes
when you' re meeting new peoplefor years. I want to refer to
(00:22):
that as well as the fact thatI do like to meet new people,
but it gives you more trouble,it gives you more, because jolin,
to have a good friendship or tomeet people, you need time, you
need dedication and many times you areat ease with your circle of friendships and
you say they have to be likeI have to come very well to meet
someone and deepen in friendship, thenwe become like a little bit more,
(00:46):
as reluctant more when we turn outto be more lazy, as we are
more dull. I don' tknow, I think I' m more
bland, which is kind of cool. Ah like and I' m the
first one that I love to knowand talk, but then, like I
' m going to dig deeper,I' m going to continue to presume
with those I have and very rarelywith people in I' m going to
also plan and besides, I thinkthis does have a lot to do with
(01:08):
age, because people, that is, I, for example, considered myself
the super social, super friendly zonethat has conversation with everyone. I mean,
it' s not like I've always been a person who gives
a shit about people, but eventhough I' ve always been like that,
it' s like now, asnice as it gets. Whatever it
is literally gives me laziness. That' s what you said, that'
s not what I care about whatlife, that is, I know that,
(01:29):
especially in this kind of relationship thatyou have that you know if they
' re sporadic. When you meetsomeone at a party or you' re
cool and maybe jaya, but you' re saying that, honestly, you
' re not gonna make it,I mean, I don' t have
time or I' m not gonnasee you again or what I' m
gonna make an effort for. Wevalue it there in what the effort of
a good friendship. So c whenyou' re eighteen, you think everyone
' s a literal friend to me, so what happens now that you suddenly
(01:52):
say join there' s really nicepeople, there' s super hot people,
but then at the moment you saybuah to be my friend, because
I don' t know you orwhat to do in time. I have
to meet him. You know thennow we' re not so predisposed to
spend that time with people anymore.It' s about adding. And I
also believe that when we are small, or small, when we are seventeen,
(02:13):
eighteen, or sixteen, we areless formed in the sense of characteristic
filters. I mean, we're a little bit more fluffy, we
adapt to anything, and then we' re able to have very different friendships,
to meet very different people, andeverybody get into that sack. What
I have noticed as the years havepassed, is that I have become so
(02:36):
much, so much more exquisite,because it is, as I have already
become more clear how I am,I am clearer what I want. I
' m more clear about who Iwant to spend time with. Then it
' s harder for everyone to filter. I mean, if before the filter
of my friendship was passed by fifteenpeople, now it' s passed by
two or none I explain And it' s already more or now I'
(03:00):
ve just added someone, to mycontact gobiesta, to the possibility of knowing
if it' s someone with whomI literate, I have a crush because
there are still people that you know, you don' t have like own
a spectacular connection of how I breakup with this person. It' s
just, literally everything fits. ButI would even dare to say that it
is no longer only at the levelof meeting new people, but friends we
(03:23):
had four years ago. Now life, that is, is not that anything
has happened, nor do you haveto get rid of that person, because
literally you don' t share absolutelyanything. So when you have, when
you' re young, when Joe, when you' re younger, you
don' t care if you don' t share, well, you go
(03:44):
out to party, you see yourselffrom time to time now that now you
already say if I don' tshare anything, the time I have that
is also smaller, because we work, because we have commitments, because I
don' t know what, Idon' t know how many happens to
say. Well, then, I' m going to dedicate myself to someone
that I' d like to bewith at least has something to talk to.
I' m interested in your life, because it' s also something
else, it' s just thatbefore I was there, tell me that
(04:04):
I' m really interested in thelives of people I really want or don
' t trust that I don't care about other people, but you
know we' ve been a while. The leap from quantity to quality plan
no longer needs to be the mostpopular and have three hundred and fifty-
eight friends, because I think that' s one thing you understand. So
I was going on about the morepeople coming to my birthday, the better,
the more friends I have the coolerI am and now it' s
(04:27):
like from my point of view,and I don' t care exactly.
I mean now I' m veryhappy to have the friends I have,
which are X. But I'm saying fuck it is that the friends
I have don' t trade themfor absolutely nothing. I don' t
trade them for fifty friends, whichI don' t care about fifty friends
more than anything else, because I' m one of those who thinks to
have a friendship. I mean,having a friendship is a job, just
like having a partner. So I, those people who have three hundred and
(04:47):
eighty- five real friends to explainto me how I do it pussy,
it does yes, yes, tomeet each one of them, to light
breads, to worry, to makeplans in plan the agenda and or n
does not give me to have morethan ten friends. And literally it'
s not that one thing is thatby chance, because you find someone ja
and that you' re like peoplewho know that already Elector mipiime told me
(05:10):
over the years you' re goingto know who' s known, how
familiar. The known point when youalready, instead of being old, is
also that you have a beer,uh, and what you have a good
time with. The concept friend thatis very different from known, because known
is like ah levis not known isyou can consider a person who drinks a
coffee, a beer that then maybealready for six months, you don'
t know anything about that person orsuch then that that' s true,
(05:32):
that it' s teaching you lifeand has taught you in the experiences of
who is really known, who isreally friend and who really isn' t
friend anymore, you know then.And besides, I also believe what I
think of friendships before. Yes,before, when we were younger, our
(05:53):
friends were guided by a very concretecircumstance, that is, you, when
you were at school, had yourschool friends if you were going to have
more college, you had your extra- school friends, as you were going
to summer to x place in summeryou had your summer friends yes, you
went to college and you have yourfriends from the University, but what happens
(06:13):
when the COHL is finished, youfinish college, you finish our school and
you start making an adult life thatis unfortunately much more lonely, because life
is much more than that makes friends. Also the only point that you have
a similar alcohol to uni is work. But now, for example, a
lot of people work for you,it' s autonomous, you go his
fucking ball. So it' slike you don' t have those friends
(06:36):
belonging to a group anymore. They' re already the friends you' ve
been forming throughout your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the
ones you keep and the ones youdon' t, but you don'
t have those little groups that werebasically related to something you did, you
totally know. So, of courseit' s not anymore, I have
nothing in common with you. Well, in this case you have the podcast,
(06:57):
but I, who know we nolonger live in the city mint no
longer share a university that we simplyshare nothing. So, if we see
each other, it' s becausewe make the effort to see each other,
and that happens to me with allmy friends. Now yes, if
I see them, it' sbecause both I and those people want to
see me before you give the Universeevery day, then we always saw each
other. Well, you always andyou and I were always out. But
of course, but it' senergy and all the friends of the uni
(07:20):
and we saw them because we werein the U and then, now,
when time has passed, we seethat on both sides the effort is made
to see it, because now wehave to make an effort. Now it
' s not just me anymore Ihave to do something And there are my
friends. No, no, that' s not very clear. And that
' s when you realize who youreally want, who you really want,
(07:41):
and who and what friendship is reciprocal, because you can be that a lot
that you finish a college stage.You try to see your friend from the
uni and you get along great,you see every day and you see that
they don' t get married,they get married in the sense that she
doesn' t want to see you, she doesn' t join the plans.
You know then face up there bynoses of distances. If you don
' t do to see you andthe two people for an effort or not.
(08:01):
No, it certainly says 100 percent? If you and I, for
example, didn' t make theeffort to see each other or so great,
it would have been a very nicestage of college, but there wouldn
' t be anything else anymore.You know, not clear, 100%
clear. And besides, because timeis shorter, we are more elective.
And besides, I think he alsonotices a lot is that before, despite
(08:24):
knowing that surely to personal sayings hewould not see it anymore, he did
put the effort, the effort.And now, if I' m at
a party, I' m ina bar, or, I' m
in a former place with you,external agents make me exactly the same.
That' s why I don't care if we stay at home or
what you do in a country houseor whatever, because I don' t
(08:45):
care about the people around, becauseit wants to be that we do,
and it' s already done ifI' m here to be uniquely and
exclusively with you, if you bringmore of a great one. But that
I explain to myself is not likebefore that we were far more aware of
what was going on around us.From there, look, we' re
going to field what' s goingon and it' s clear how much
I heard invited. I don't know what. You had a desire
(09:05):
and a line to go and meetwhole new people and tell them to see
who' s there. I don' t know what an egg sucks or
is really exactly the same. Look, I' ve got you, too.
I don' t have a bigchange because the first time I messed
up and when Valen was in Dublin, okay and he went to Spain,
and how he organized some sort ofcalendar of the people he was going to
see and such a tremendous burden.I remember the first menda is an audio.
(09:26):
I' m super overwhelmed. Ithink I' ve been battling plans.
He couldn' t even come toMallorca because he already oversaturated everything and
Mallorca for bad in this degree,you know to come here and be with
my family and all good. AndI remember I said wow what happens now,
when it' s organized, notin Dublin anymore, but when it
' s back from Australia, thenthere' s something. I remember he
sent me the plans he had andhe told me to stick to everything you
(09:48):
want and I say hey okay becauseI mean you' re not doing that
crazy either and he tells me Ifeel like it. You told me I
feel like being with those I wantto be with and I don' t
feel like Complicated you know and seethat we haven' t, we haven
' t stopped, but like you' ve even seen a big change in
the fact of prioritizing plans. Youknow, you remember that calendar you sent
me. I' m sure Iwas overwhelmed. I don' t get
(10:11):
it every time, and it's not like we' re talking in
so long either. How long ago, a year and a half ago,
two of you attended Dublin and,obviously, the same thing as now when
you passed this area that you wantedto have a lot of people and such,
but I remember that I messed upwith that calendar, I mean,
I don' t know how yousurvived that much plan, but that'
s why I tell you it willmake super different. This time I don
' t know if you' vefelt more comfortable and quieter. It'
(10:33):
s maybe it' s a lotquieter, because I' ve reduced a
lot more, so look at thisdoesn' t mean that people I haven
' t seen are because I don' t care. It' s like
I' m letting things flow more. It' s clear. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I think ofyou in my head. If I have
to see them, I' llsee them and if I don' t
have to see them, it's okay. I' ll see about
that, but I' m notgonna put my whole life in. Yeah,
(10:54):
like that anxiety to tell you,I mean, I have to take
a course here now and see whodoesn' t know who and how,
but I also realize the people whohelp in that process. There have been
people who have taken flights to comehere and see me you know just like
I have at other times. Andthen people who don' t work hard,
it' s okay, which meanswe' re doing it, so
(11:16):
I don' t know if we' re taking him on a podcast.
Not the fact that nothing' sgoing on. When a friendship goes out
little by little, it' ssad, it' s sad, but
you don' t pass anything abruptly. They are literally stages in pla.
It' s worth a lot thefirst ones you lose and the first ones
you realize about God. You don' t share the same with that friendship
(11:37):
anymore, but the moment you passthat mature click like you see it as
nostalgic, but you don' tsee it. I remember that the first
process of saying buay I' mnot seeing this friend until chida or she
' s disturbing me. And nowwhen I see that a friendship such as
I see it more provokes me alittle scratched, but more like that first
friendship that you lose, because youno longer share anything with that person that
(11:58):
has not happened, never there isanything, but that, because by life
you know then I do not knowwhat we are literal people. When you
start listening to this podcast and suddenlyget on say I loved this podcast,
I' m going to wear onea year ago and something looks. There
' s girls, but as youlove to see she' s gone in
an aquimedia and I don' twant to imagine in two years, I
(12:18):
mean, we' ll be talkingabout I don' t know no,
but that' s literally it.I do have a hundred percent change there
in terms of two different people andmore than anything else, because I used
to give a lot of priority tothe social world and meet people and be
with people and do things with peopleand plans and bomb and boom and bam.
And now it' s like I' ve learned so much more to
(12:41):
enjoy much quieter moments. Or notjust me, because it' s true
that I still didn' t getto that point that I' m super
good alone, that I' mhaving Joja with myself, that' s
true. But I know I havereferences to people that I' m not
going to say names that know you' re alone very well and enjoy your
time very much alone and it makesme very jealous. Then it' s
average here you' ll talk aboutguachicos. I found the best. I
(13:05):
' m not clear in the middleof traveling alone, I don' t
want to know anything about anyone,no, but it' s true as
it is, because in the end, the person we' re going to
spend the most time with is ourselves. And surely if I get to super
old and you all die I won' t have friends. In conclusion,
it is not true that yes,that is. Finally, I want to
(13:26):
be I want in seventy years tobe there with our sticks taking us there,
in seventy years we' re goingto be ninety- five. I
mean, you haven' t suckedtoo high. So it' s worth
a hundred, fifty, forty worthforty. At the end with ninety-
five recording the podcast of guap thetape and that we understand absolutely. No,
no, it wouldn' t bewonderful, but sor because there are
(13:52):
people who haven' t even hadthis, this change, which has always
been so. And in fact,those people who' ve always been like
this have always been classified a littlebit as weird in a way to look
at this social that I don't want to do anything or such to
vassar a little bit of things.Saga every day now every time I say
bua me yes, like every timeI think we look older and we understand
that these people seem to me,because it seems to me the smartest,
(14:13):
not the total. And because besides, it' s coming to me like
a lot of things, because thistopic is really very interesting. The other
day I was talking to a friendwho knows she' s gone to Madrid
to study a master' s degree. Yeah, and Auntie was telling me
that it' s taking me alot to feel comfortable, and I'
m 100% comfortable with the master' s people and they' re telling
(14:33):
her not to scratch you is thatnow we' re no longer, we
' re not that spongy, thatis, because it takes a lot more
to find the people you' refeeling 100% comfortable with. I don
' t know why. I don' t have the explanation. I don
' t know, but it's happened to me, too, in
Australia that it' s a lotharder for you to be you in any
circumstance. I used to wear youif I don' t care. And
(14:56):
now it' s true that it' s like I realize because I know
when I' m suddenly back tobeing with my old friends and I don
' t always talk about my wholelife. I know we' re five
years old. I mean, I' m rocking a lot of friendly stuff.
For me it' s really thatI' m another completely different person,
without any effort. I mean,I' m and I' m
funny, effortless. I' mnice, without the effort. I also
(15:18):
allow myself not to be nice allthe time, but I can be a
boarder, because they' re theasshole. Instead, it' s like
you' re clear, I'm literal, and when you talk,
I' m with new people.I don' t know I' m
more taken care of. I can' t help being more. I want
to imagine wrong in measure. I' m telling you, he' d
even give me what he' dsay, you' re okay, you
(15:41):
' re in or you' renot, but it' s not true,
right. It' s like Idon' t know. I'
ve lost that ability to but becauseyou have more filter and you say hey,
because of course they' re alreadythere. If I can' t
be, I think it' sa point to say how well you'
re doing. When you' recomfortable, okay and when you' re
not comfortable, I don' tknow why you feel it in the environment
and you' ll have a rejectionof being with that group of people,
(16:02):
that is, you' re notgoing to make that effort like you were
smaller than you were saying. Well, I' m gonna try, well,
I' m not gonna try topull my side out. Funny,
I' ll be more correct andsuch not now is like jon for what?
And if they don' t acceptme or I feel weird, then
until I pass the time I saywhat to do. But then, as
soon as I can, I'll leave with the people who make me
feel comfortable. You know, andwe didn' t think that before,
(16:25):
it was like we used to beunhappy with spoons in any kind of group,
you know, or in any kindof situation. And the natural is
not that. The natural thing is, to be as we are and to
be with the people that we arecomfortable with, then that gives it.
That gives it. I think becauseyou had your friends that worked, because
you were putting yourself in there undera lot of pressure and it cost me
(16:49):
a lot and that those people Imean it' s not that anything happened,
nor is it that you already hadany problems with that grief, but
that suddenly you come up with aday and so many a day, at
a dinner, at such a meetingand you say that you don' t
share anything with that person anymore andyou were trying to make an effort,
(17:10):
even talking about whatsapp. Saying soif I really want to be with malen
having a coffee for what I'm going to try it' s worth.
You know, there are people whokeep taking me now, you know,
no, so it' s somethingthat causes you a lot of pain,
because you say how much hard you' ve done for that friendship,
but that friendship has had as anexpiration date. You know, like,
(17:32):
then I think this three, twoor three years ago caused me more anguish.
Now it keeps provoking me because Iam and a messa that strikes me
a lot, that I worry alot and such, but it is no
longer I am not going to makethe effort. I' m not going
to make that effort. You knowclear then total and I get enough of
their situations, Maria Joge, butit comes to me more before they say
(17:56):
that nothing has happened absolution, butyou do not realize that you do not
share the same thing and it ishard. Uh, it' s because
it' s like it' sa process, it' s not a
bitch, it' s a bitch, but it' s like you'
re getting a little bit more thesame, because you' re already saying
(18:17):
if it' s the same,it' s that I don' t
have time and then also that thegood thing about friendships. Really or as
you want to call it, it' s that despite not seeing you,
despite maybe, not having a contactand I really, when I' m
out with my friends and friends,it' s not that I talk all
the time or much less, butit' s literally those people you meet
again and it' s not alwaysthat it looks like a clisie, but
it' s true that absolutely nothinghas happened. Or and it' s
(18:37):
like you' ve seen yesterday youcatch up, in five seconds watching dad
and that' s how you forgetyou haven' t been. You forget
you haven' t been for ayear or so without seeing each other.
And it' s like wing everythingso normal you know and that with other
people doesn' t happen, thatis with people who are so forced friend,
whatever you want to call it,it doesn' t happen anymore.
And besides, what I do noticeis that I see it even more clearly
(19:02):
now when I see those situations asa spectacle, something spectator. Yes,
when those situations of wastas people areforcing you to be friends because you notice
a lot, but because, aswe have already gone through that process,
because you notice it and you detectit, but yes, I don'
t know and beyond, also whenyou get older as you also pass situations,
(19:27):
as more like many situations, itis also super nice to really realize
who your friends are and in thefriendships in which they have been like the
good and the bad and not onlyin hij jaha of the University in the
bar you know then that is alsolike that it makes you stay closer and
have the expectations of a much higherfriendship, because I, for example,
now know someone and with the friendshipsthat surround me that I feel that I
(19:49):
am super lucky, because you havea standard here bua until that person gets
standard and is the good in thebad and that you try the same thing
that I try with my friends ufffyou know no longer, but I clearly
already have a very long ra ofthings, that you have good cost,
you know totally, you know hownow is the part of connecting with that
(20:10):
I spend it phenomenal. But youhave to add the part of effort,
of care, of expectations of thatperson, because it is true that before
what we also called party friends,that person that you have super good fun,
ha ha ha, but it iswonderful. It' s just for
the party that that person isn't gonna be there if you have a
problem or not. It' sthe person with whom I am that my
(20:32):
trick to know if a person,that friend of another person or even I
can apply it to myself is thatyou would stay with that person alone to
have an exact coffee before if youwouldn' t give yourself a drink with
that person or a coffee is thatit' s not an inaccurate tumbio.
He' s an acquaintance, aperson you spend time with fromenan jahaja,
but he' s not your fuckingfriend, because I' ve seen her
(20:52):
pass from being in a big groupand thinking that in this group of ten
people I would have three told toGod, alone I' ll have a
coffee and tell me my life.The rest is like they' re filler
characters in this group that and wehave great and such, but yes,
but that you notice and you'd be surprised how many people have asked
this question and with own people intheir group say that I wouldn' t
(21:14):
be alone with some of them andI' m really happy now because my
good group friend group is that yes. You got fruit with all of them,
I' d be alone. Youknow, I don' t talk
to anyone I don' t haveto be alone with for coffee anymore.
You don' t have a goodfilter to know yes. It' s
not true. And I, forexample, also do one thing that already
(21:37):
as a closure came to me thefact of one thing that I love now
is that you have your friends settled. Okay, I' ve got my
friends sitting down, and then theycan come new, and we' re
not here saying we don' twant to meet anyone. But also one
thing I like is your friends,who are very good, I know them
and I, for example, withfriends of yours that I can already consider
(21:59):
friends, would have a coffee.Of course, you' d stay with
my friends That' s a goodpoint and it' s a wonderful thing
because it' s how I wasgoing to forget, wow. But then
the moment you know that you,for example, are very close to me,
then you know that the people Itake with me, as far as
possible, most of them will likeyou because they have it. Part of
me you know is that it's a very cool thing is literally I
(22:22):
was going to say at some pointthat I' ve forgotten that hermetism is
about meeting new people, creating anexception when he' s a close friend
of a caring friend there like he' s already passing Filters, if he
' s already here and seeing aperson I don' t know absolutely anything
about, without any kind of reference. I' m not going to make
the effort. But if a superfriend of Ana comes in and they tell
(22:42):
me, hey, Auntie, you' re living in a city and there
' s this super friend of mine, it' s like I' m
saying, if he' s afriend of Ana' s, you might
not like him. But normally Ialready know that if he' s a
friend of Ana' s, I' m gonna like him. Sure,
and it happened. Yeah, there' s a few friends of yours I
' m fucking with. I havegone to sleep at their homes, I
(23:02):
have done things with them without havingbeen to me I love the moment,
therefore and you have invited my fackingbrother to your birthday and I do not
even go to see that it islike in the end the male, because
it is like bad for me,it is like a sister, but in
the end you take and say,because how I will not take care of
his environment and make it up thatwhat I tell you can be exceptions,
then that yes, but that isthey are very friends of friends if they
(23:26):
are immediately noticed when a friend ofyours presents you very friend of his that
you say it is worth understanding,because those people are friends, because if
I am friends of X I donot know how that I no longer understand
the friendships they are so diverse,because it is that it is noticed when
you do know and the other dayMalene I did it with way of celestials
(23:48):
in friendship we fuck and I havemy best friend in Barcelona. Valen has
one of her best friends in Barcelonaand we said that she has to meet,
that is, she has to meetand they have to do more and
it' s worth aunty. I' m gonna talk like that. Friendship
yes, yes, yes, themost friendly. We' re talking friendship
and it' s like we don' t even paint in this. But
since we know they' re sogood friends of ours, which is how
(24:08):
we need them to meet then,and because you know that since she'
s super friend, mine and he' s super friend, you' re
gonna get along. Indeed, thereis not your aunt, she knows you
get along very well with her andI get along very well with him.
So, as ay perf nothing fails, so it' s true b It
' s like this meeting new peoplething. For me the exception is that
I' m either a friend ora friend. Yeah, there' s
(24:29):
something else there. I put inanother energy, I put in another attitude.
You' re already happy, becauseit' s like a new person,
but already knowing how about then I' m very good when I'
m not interested, because ana isstill given quite better. He does not
me, I have come out likean ass face and I don' t
give a fucking fear to what I' m telling myself. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, like that, I noticea lot of you when you feel
like meeting someone, even though,besides, I have mostly memories in Dublin
(24:52):
of other friends who were also alot more social. Not when it happens
nice, nice and polite. Yesand I am the opposite and it was
always up to them to talk tothe person who spoke in English. I
wanted if I came to someone inthe group that the English truth up your
ass you that that I have seenvaguien putting a face and say already in
(25:12):
plan a little bordé type cut youa little bit, do not put the
face put face of poker face,but do not put a face of perspite
from here is that it allowed meto kill him with the look, that
is to say I had made youthat it was not rays of those greens,
you would have loaded more than anumber such a crunch in the face
of itself canyu wow. But good, but good. I think it'
(25:33):
s clearer, clearer water and nothingto comment on following us on our social
networks, clearer water to podcast Ihope you will cuestte on our set.
The next one will be in anotherand nothing will be seen in the next chapter Chao
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