Keeping Your Identity While Also Being Open

In this episode, I share how to keep your identity while also remaining vulnerable and open. Visit https://www.masteringdating.com/ for more information about the podcast or to join the club! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Mastering Dating, broadcasting to eighty five countries worldwide.
With a wealth of experience as a seasoned dating coach,
your host at Mastering Dating has empowered clients globally and
now she's here to share valuable insights with you. So
sit back, relax, and get ready to dive into today's episode.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Hello, and welcome to Mastering Dating. We'll be talking about
the things that you can do to bring more of
your authentic self to the table, to bring your authentic
self to your first date, or to the relationship, or
to the fifth date, whatever the case may be. The
same principles apply every time. How do we tap into

(00:45):
this authentic natural state of being when we are on
a first, second, third date, or when we are in
a new relationship or an older relationship. How do we
stay in our most authentic self without sacrificing who we are,
without overconsuming ourselves into this new relationship or this new partner.

(01:09):
Because there is a line that we don't want to cross.
We want to be authentic, we want to give, we
want to be vulnerable, but we want to do it
without losing ourselves completely in this new connection. That's crucial
because if we lose ourselves completely. This is when we
stop wanting to do other things, or stop wanting to

(01:29):
be with other people, hanging out with other people, family friends,
doing our hobbies, going after our interests. There can be
this kind of like this pause where we put everything
on hold for this new person. Right, we put our hobbies,
our interests, our friends, time with family, all of these
things on hold as we are enjoying and just bathing

(01:49):
in this new love that we have in our lives,
which is perfectly fine, but we don't want to lose
ourselves completely. And the best way to do this is
to have boundaries. Create boundaries that keep you in check.
Where you are vulnerable and you're open to this new love,

(02:12):
this new person in your life, or this person that
you have reunited with. If that's the case, you're open,
You're vulnerable, but at the same time you are maintaining boundaries,
which means you still spend time with family and friends.
You still do the things you love to do on
your own or with your loved ones that have nothing

(02:32):
to do with this partner. Your interests, your hobbies. You
don't give those things up. You simply find a balance
between this new partner or this reunited love and your
life and the things that you do and the people
you usually hang out with. In order to have this
balance that keeps you heading in the right path, you

(02:54):
must create boundaries. So how do we do this? Well,
you decide what you're comfortable with. You decide what is reasonable.
You decide who you want to spend your time with.
So if you have a best friend and you have
a mother you like to spend your time with, you
make sure that you give your time to them a

(03:17):
certain amount of time every week or every month, whatever
your norm usually is before this new love or this
reunited partner came back into your life. Right, So, create
these boundaries and decide how much time you want to
divide amongst all the different people in your life with
whom you want to spend time with, and decide how

(03:38):
much time do you need for your hobbies and interests.
Sit down and think about this. How much time do
you want to spend painting, reading a book, exercising, or
drawing whatever it is that you love to do. How
much time do you want to spend doing that every week?
And how much time do you want to spend with
your partner? Write it down, keep a journal, and so

(04:00):
by having these boundaries, you will stay on the right
path and you will not lose yourself completely in this
new love or this reunited partner who's back in your life.
You want to always maintain your own identity, right, You
will have your identity and they will have their identity.

(04:20):
You don't want to blend it and get lost with
each other. You want to enjoy this love and put
your whole energy into it. Put your vulnerable energy into it,
and be flexible and be open minded, and be authentic
and be natural and be genuine. Don't be something that
you're not, don't be someone that you're not. Be your

(04:42):
most authentic self. But at the same time, you maintain
you keep your own identity separate from that of your partners, right,
and they keep theirs. Having boundaries helps you to create
the balance you need to keep your identity. It will
help you to keep your identity. Okay, So just remember

(05:04):
that boundaries are important. They're always important, even if you're
someone who doesn't have problems with maintaining their own identity
and not getting lost in a new relationship or love
any kind of love in general. Even if you're not
that person, having boundaries is essential. We all need them
with our loved ones, with our friends, with our families.

(05:25):
Everybody needs boundaries. We need to create personal boundaries and
decide what we are comfortable with and not comfortable with.
Decide what is your obstacle? Think about what your obstacle
is and decide what you can do, what kind of
boundary you can create to help you deal with this
obstacle in the most effective way possible. Just remember that

(05:46):
and that will keep you on the right path. Be
sure to come back again for another episode. Hit the
subscribe button if you haven't yet, and I look forward
to seeing you guys again. Bye in it next days.

(06:15):
AG