"Handbook for Mortals" by Lani Sarem

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It was like it was like the author had heard show,
don't tell, but heard tell, Tell, Tell Tell.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Horrible content because.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Maul's quickly make you tired and cranky quickly.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
A bad author who might be a legitimately bad person.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
She is love Lord. That's like her background would be interesting.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
And a crazy amount of drama surrounding this book that
is even more interesting than the poorly written book.

Speaker 4 (00:33):
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Mean book Club. This
week we read Handbook for Mortals by Lanny Saramoo.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Booky maybe.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
A handbook even not don't book that goes in your hands?

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah? What the fuck is the title?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
I love the title?

Speaker 4 (00:57):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 (01:00):
A book to the book? What is in the book?
There is nothing. It's not like it's format, there's no information.

Speaker 4 (01:06):
It's not informational yet it's not. Yeah, it doesn't make
any sense.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Oh yeah, the book is horrible.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Nobody just doesn't even match the title.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
It doesn't not at all.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
And as we learned, there is unfortunately another same named
book that is about how to cope with terminal illness.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Yeah, this book isn't easy to find, but we'll get it.
We'll get into that first. Let's introduce ourselves as always,
I'm one of your hosts. Sarah Burton.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Hello, I'm another host, Clara Morris.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Good morning or good afternoon or evening. My name is
Jonas Grabis. Hello.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Hello, Hello, this is Raina B.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
Jordan. Oh, almost sounds like you said, Raina B. Jordan.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
This is Raina B.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Jordan.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
You might catch me on the TV show Nashville, my
sister Andy.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
And Nashville again. One of this one of the settings
of this book. So what a perfect time, guys. Let's
uh find out why the hell we're reading this book, Johanna,
can we find out? How do we? Who recommended this
to us?

Speaker 2 (02:21):
This book is thanks to Miles May, And I just
want to say that this is the absolute perfect book
for me and book club. I feel like we have
never had a recommendation that was so dead on in
terms of horrible content, a bad author who might be

(02:43):
a legitimately bad person, and a crazy amount of drama
surrounding this book that is even more interesting than the
poorly written book. So, Miles, I mean, for me, this
is the best wreck we have ever received.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
Wow aho, Wow, that's big. I was just gonna say,
Miles May, sounds like you know an actor model name,
and I I'm just thrown that out there that, Yeah,
it's an incredible name, a credible name.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
I'm having a hard time believing it's even real.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
Does sound sort of superhero?

Speaker 4 (03:17):
What did Miles say?

Speaker 2 (03:19):
So? Miles recommended handbook for mortals if You're not familiar.
Now I'm beginning to quote if You're not familiar. This
book rather infamously knocked The Hate You Give off of
the number one spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
By all accounts, the author essentially created her way onto
the bestsellers list, and quite frankly, the fact that she

(03:41):
was able to knock The Hate You Give off the
top spot feels insulting. Even without that fact, it is
one of the laziest and most poorly conceived young adult
novels I have ever read in my life, and the
author herself might be one of the most appropriative and
racist glory hounds I've ever heard of, desperate to give

(04:05):
give herself unearned fame and glory while not caring that
she's drowning out the voices of I assume I cut
something off of drowning out the voices of I'm Gonna say,
actually women of color who were writing books that were

(04:27):
on the New York Times bestseller list, that this book gives.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
A good idea.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
And she does this while describing herself with a term
that is actually a slur for Romani people. As an aside,
if the fact that this was an investigation into this
novel's placement on the bestseller list eventually led to it
being removed doesn't fit your qualifications, I understand and will
recommend something else. Now, I will say I did not
read that part until after we had selected this.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
Oh, I said it.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
But I do not feel that it it disqualifies the
book at all. It was a New York Times bestseller,
no matter how short a time, no matter how ill gotten,
it was on the list.

Speaker 4 (05:08):
It was on the list. There's screenshots I.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Prove it, like, yes, which is more than we can
say for our book last That's true.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
That's true, it's certainly. And also learning a little bit
about how how this whole story I know John is
going to get into about how Lanny got it on
the New York Times bestseller list. I don't doubt that
we've read books that have employed similar means in the past,
Like I don't doubt that we have.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
I can't imagine any offense.

Speaker 4 (05:42):
Well, perhaps perhaps this is the most drastic, but I
just feel like I'm like, I think that she just
went too hard. I think she was she you know,
by knocking off the hate you give and becoming the note.
Like if she came in at number ten, people will
be like, oh, what's that book?

Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah, you might be right.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
I feel like I feel like she just overplayed the hand.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
I will say an adult book.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I will say for a fact that we do have
another author that did this employ this exact tactic. Who
do you think it was. I'll give you that hint.
It was a self help book.

Speaker 4 (06:21):
It wasn't The Secret No, no, never had the word
fuck in it or something. No.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
But it had a ghostwriter, but it was I'll give
you another hint. This may narrow it down Brady quite
a bit. Not Tom Brady. This person was the president
of the United States. They are the president. Oh yeah,
the part of the deal purchased its way on.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
I forget. I forgot we did that one?

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah live even right?

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Yeah right, yeah, I think we did it for show.

Speaker 4 (07:00):
Oh my god, did we What is life?

Speaker 2 (07:03):
I don't really think we did it live. We did
Deal Carnagie lived, We.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
Did the Art of the Deal live. It was Get
the Pit.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Okay, yeah, good for us. Oh yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yeah yeah, good for us, good for us? All right,
all right, So how did you guys consume this book?
I think I might have an idea, since we had
to all talk about it beforehand.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, I'll say I tried really hard to find it
at the library, at another library, on Amazon, in bookstores,
and eventually I found a PDF online. And I'm I'm
not convinced that I did read the book, because I

(07:45):
know it was so bad that I just like can't
believe that it was the book.

Speaker 4 (07:52):
I agree. We didn't go to the Wizarding conventions. She
claimed to sell them out, and that was part of
the issue, I'm sure. But I I had this PDF
that you sent, Sabrina. Thank God for it. I hate.
I did not want to read the pdf. I read
some of it and I said, I can't do this.
I needed audio and I had to find an app,

(08:13):
do a free trial, some app that would read the
book to me in a computer voice.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (08:19):
So I did. I did. Yeah, I know it. I
think it maybe made it worse speechify I downloaded speech.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
It couldn't have made it worse, Sarah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
It was pretty bad, but that's how I did. Clara,
what are you gonna say?

Speaker 2 (08:35):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, I somehow meant like I had a memory of
Sabrina texting the PDF, but then when I went to
find it, I like accidentally downloaded the joke one that
was about.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
To remind fuck this.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
So I had enough credits. You know how with Amazon
you can be like, Okay, I'll wait a few days,
and it gives you a credit for ebook. So I
use my credit to get it, and I'm sort of
glad I did. Because now so I like use credits
to buy it from Amazon as a kindle for kindle book,
and I'm sort of glad it did because I know

(09:12):
that this is the official book. This is a weird
quote one quotation mark in the middle of the page.
It's just part of the book. Like I had just
done a free PDF, I would have assumed that was
some sort of pirting issue issue. Yeah, that is just

(09:34):
the book.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Wow, Or like that you didn't follow up text and
try to get I was just.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Like, I must have missed. I must have made a mistake.

Speaker 4 (09:47):
Now what she did it, we still were able to
consume the book without paying for it, but also we
would have maybe paid for it had it been possible,
like I couldn't even I.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Would have accidentally paid for it. So i'm and i'm
I've never been more glad I didn't pay for.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
A book than yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
And that the library doesn't even carry it, Like good
for that?

Speaker 1 (10:08):
It's crazy.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, it's not crazy, it's.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
How did our library know that? Like who read it
and told the library?

Speaker 4 (10:20):
Like?

Speaker 3 (10:20):
How did the library know this wasn't a real book?

Speaker 4 (10:23):
I don't think the library ever had this book. I
think that they was never never, just never was there? Jana?
Are you doing you doing? Janna jabs about the book?

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Oh yeah, so I actually I swear this wasn't just
to be lazy, because look at the outline. I did
a lot of work, Okay, a lot, I see. Yeah,
but I wanted to read the summary right off of
Wikipedia because it was so funny, Like, you don't need

(10:56):
me to gussie this up for you. This is the
official she'll like on Wikipedia if you look for this
book summary. Okay, okay, okay, any idea how to pronounce
her full name? So the main character's name is Zaid.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
I know it's not it doesn't end in zaide because
I feel like the way you say that name or
I read somebody be like it doesn't make sense because
the full name. So, the full name is pronounced differently
than this nickname.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Her name is s c h e H e r
A z A D. So I'm gonna just pronounce that
how I think.

Speaker 4 (11:35):
It is here sure Shahara's odd Shaharazad.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Okay summary from Wikipedia. The novel follows the adventures of
Shaharazad Zadi esther Holder, a twenty five year old woman
who comes from a family of folk magic practitioners in
a small Tennessee town. She leaves home to join a
Las Vegas troop of eccentric stage magicians, where she forges

(12:01):
romantic connections with several men, including Carrot Top, and relishes
in how many men quote constantly fawn over her. The
one exception is zeb Zeb, a magician with whom she
is at odds. Despite her allure to men, Zadi questions

(12:21):
the prospects of a quote mixed relationship with a mortal
and fails to get along with Sophia, one of the
female performers whom she calls ugly during a magic show, Zaid,

(12:41):
what was I saying?

Speaker 4 (12:42):
Zadi Zady? Okay?

Speaker 1 (12:44):
During a magic show.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Jade Zaid performs a stunning illusion, but then falls into
a coma after exerting herself without her anchor and lover, Mac,
a fellow performer who suspected that Zadie was having an
elicit affair with the elderly head stage magician, Charles Spelman.

(13:06):
This has proven to be false, particularly as Zaid discovers
that Charles is actually her father. Oh my god, it is.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
I feel like she must have written it, because it's
written the same way the book is written.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
So I think that as well.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Oh, if it were written the same way the book
is written, that last sentence would read. This is proven
to be false, particularly as Zaid discovers that Charles is
actually her long lost father, which means that he was
her father.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
She looked at herself in the mirror, and her vibrant
green eyes flicked back at her. I'm not like the
other girls, she said.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
To herself in the mirror. Every piece of information you got,
you heard the same exact words twice.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
Oh my god, no, And she uses idioms and then
like uh, explains what idiom, like the idiom means, but
not like in a clever, funny way. It's always just
it's just like incredible. It's like they're they're idioms because
like idiots get them, like you don't need to explain them.
Like she's just like she's just going And I don't

(14:19):
know who told her she needed to hit that word
count because it was it was long. Yeah, like it
didn't need to be that long.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
Can I give you I know we're not here yet,
but can I give you my favorite example of her
needing to explain a joke because it's so incredible? Yes, Okay, Okay,
I'm gonna rev up to it because you just need
to get a sense of the writing of this book too.

Speaker 5 (14:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Hey, they're sleeping, beauty Cam said softly, after lightly touching
my shoulder and sitting down next to me. By the way,
the context here is she's like it's her first day.

Speaker 4 (14:48):
Of work and she was not falling asleep.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
But yeah, at work, Okay, looks like you met everyone
that works here today. The line to say hello to
you after your performance resembled in autographed signing by.

Speaker 4 (15:00):
A boy band.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
I don't really know what the latest one is but
Backstreet five directions, one second of Winter ninety eight, Celsiuso
City and sink boys or old Kids on a curb
or something like that. I laughed hard at his combo
of wrong boy band names and his clear indication that

(15:22):
he knew all the boy bands, Sami Colon, he purposely
had made the small wrong switches in their names.

Speaker 4 (15:34):
That's a good one.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
God, that was a good one he purposely had made,
he says Grice. I want to puncher.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
I have so many quotes from this book though.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, me too. I think it should just be a
quote fast.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
It probably could be a quote best, because it is
just like amazing, like we can give you these. I mean,
I guess I'm like, did the summary tell you what happened?
Kind of like, because.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Not much happens mentioned that she's a witch.

Speaker 4 (16:08):
I don't think she's from a family of fault magic
with a K, but for some reason, it's not spelled
that way in the Wikipedia. Yeah, so basically, wait, where
are we in this in our outline?

Speaker 2 (16:20):
We we have not even gone through the book yet.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
All right, let's let I'm we're jumping ahead. Let's go, Johnna,
what's the wine? Parent.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
So I I'm going with kind of a mix here
of one thing from folk magic Homie and then one
thring thing from Vegas. So for the folk magic practitioners,
we've got Natalie's carrot ginger turmeric apple juice, which feels
like it's something that will help activate my magical witch powers.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
And then for Natalie juice it's good.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
It was six dollars, Clara, it's expensive, was it for good?
I bought a gallon of milk as well and it
was only five It felt like milk sky.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
And then that has a nice orange color. And one
of the times that you were drinking and just out
of the corner of my eyes thought you were emptying
on a pill bottle on.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, it gives your lips a nice like pinky glow too,
like natural. So that's very yeah, if you want to
look like really nice and have like a peachy orange lip.

Speaker 4 (17:34):
Then for the.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Vegas side we're having it's called the black Stump Charras
and it's just the wine that I had open, But
I do think the name's kind of fun. The black stump.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
Okay, it does sound like poison made from a black stump.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, So put all this you could take a little
sip of your orange drink, okay, and a little sip
of your wine.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
That's usually how drinks. Bartender serve your drinks. Just have
a few and take a few tips of each of you.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Here there, back and forth, and you're good to go.

Speaker 4 (18:08):
Switch them around, mix them like a mortal and a magic.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Person, like a wine and a cherry coke.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
Okay, that's normal. And people we did this conversation forgot
about that.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
It's not the last week Sarah had wine and chery
coke had angered Johanna. Yeah, I want to try it.
I can't believe I forgot about it.

Speaker 4 (18:31):
Do you guys know there's a new coke with orange?
Have you guys started orange cream? I haven't tried it?
Pretty good, I thought it's pretty good. I want to.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
I want to try it. I mean, who doesn't like
a creamsicle?

Speaker 4 (18:42):
Exactly? I don't.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
Johnny, you were just drinking a creamsicle practically.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
No, No, it's orange.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
John You had a choice between a creamsicle and nothing.

Speaker 4 (18:54):
Nothing, nothing, really insane, This is true insane.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
I would rather never have deserted to get my entire life.

Speaker 4 (19:01):
What then, ever?

Speaker 2 (19:02):
Have one creamsicle?

Speaker 3 (19:04):
Did you like throw up a creamsicle?

Speaker 4 (19:08):
But you like orange? Do you like vanilla?

Speaker 2 (19:10):
I like vanilla?

Speaker 4 (19:11):
Do you like ice cream? Some?

Speaker 2 (19:15):
I'm not gonna go crazy.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
This is an adding up. This isn't adding up.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
I'm getting mad.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
I don't believe you ever had creamsicle.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
And orange drink, so I must love creamsickle. Okay, stop
putting me in your box.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
Creamsicle tastes good. That's what.

Speaker 4 (19:34):
We thought you might like to enjoy something for what
season of life? All right?

Speaker 2 (19:39):
I have a long list of things that I would
rather never have blank again than have to have that
version of it, Like kettle chips, for example, I'd rather
never have tap chips to get in my life than
have to eat kettle chips.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Well, those cut the top of your mouth, Yeah they're stupid.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Public specific Well, kettle chips have never cut the top
of my mouth, so I don't have to scream. Maybe
I have a more delicate palette than you. I don't
know if that's a grip.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
It you rip off the roof of my mouth, both
of you.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
Pot I don't know.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Yeah, sorry, I forgot about old ramshackle palette like yours
that I could just put.

Speaker 4 (20:14):
Anything in my dick sucking palette shot up.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
And she forces us to move.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
I can't even respond, Okay, the book, the book, but
there's so much to say, Like, there's so much to say. Okay.
This book received attention for its New York Times bestseller
status in twenty seventeen, which right away people are like,
this is so weird because you can't buy it in
a store and you cannot buy it on Amazon on

(21:01):
so and the author had never published before, and there
was no buzz about the book. So basically, this author,
Phil Stamper, great name for an author. We already know
that you like the fixings of books and things that
are related to paper. He showed that the book's placement

(21:21):
was achieved through manipulations such as unusual bulk ordering, and
I want to say, I looked into it and it
was extra sneaky because basically, if a bookstore like Barnes
and Noble receives an order for more than thirty of
the same book, it's considered like a bulk order, and
they don't report it to the New York Times. But

(21:42):
if they receive less than thirty or like thirty or under,
then that's just counts as a sale. So basically someone
was going around to like me, yeah, definitely, all of
the Barnes and Nobles in New York City, for example,
an order was played for thirty copies of this book

(22:04):
and did that like all over the country, so that
every one of these little mini ball orders was reported
as a sale.

Speaker 4 (22:13):
I also heard that she was calling like ahead, she
would like call and be like, do you report because
not everyone reports New York Times, so she would like
first be like, do you guys report your book sales
team times? And if they did, then she would put
the order in. That was like, and so did Shander
pay for it? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah, but it gets so spicy from here, Okay. She
had somehow, along with the publication of the books, arranged
a deal where as long as the book became a
New York Times bestseller, it was going to be produced
and made into a film. So I didn't know that

(22:52):
this early investment in her mind of like shelling out
for these books was like, it's okay, because the whole
point is that we're going to sell the film rights.
And guess who's going to play the lead role.

Speaker 4 (23:04):
It's land Lee, Lady Lanny whatever.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Lanny is.

Speaker 4 (23:10):
In the.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
Blake Lively.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
That'd be incredible if only she cast herself as the
heroine who will soon learn is the most beautiful woman
who has ever set foot on earth, and I love
And she's also twenty five Okay.

Speaker 4 (23:27):
I think lady's a little older than that.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
So not only was the book fraudulently put on the
New York Times Bestseller, the cover art was also plagiarized
from a book called The Knife Thrower three. It appeared
to have been traced over and recolored. The author stated, so,
once the book goes on the New York Times Bestseller

(23:52):
and everyone's like, what the hell is happening, she goes, well,
I sold five thousand copies of the novel on my website,
and thirteen thousand cops these through appearances at wizard World
at people found this really it's basically a like comic
con convention. And people found this unusual because even the

(24:15):
most prolific authors such as George R. R. Martin would
only sell hundreds of copies of their novels at a
comic con convention of comic con, So to say you
sold thirteen thousand copies and George R. R. Martin sold
like for you.

Speaker 4 (24:36):
Did you see how she said, like why she claimed
she was? She like doubled down and was like, I
was able to sell these because I was selling them
at this famous actor's booth who everybody wanted his you know,
no sing sure, and it was oh my god, Thomas

(24:56):
Ian Nicholas, who, of course you guys all know might
want to do a little goog right now because you don't.
He was in Rookie of the Year and The American
Pie and I don't think anything else. Oh I do recognize,
but that she was claiming that he was. But apparently

(25:19):
he is a part of this whole thing because she
promised him I guess one of the roles in the
movie that was definitely going to be made.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
But that makes me feel correct, doesn't make me feel
so the year, Yeah, it was a great movie.

Speaker 3 (25:36):
And now he's so desperate to get into a movie
that he'll get canned.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
Yeah pretty much. Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
The direct from her is that we published the book
with the film rights already in place. It will start
in the lead role yours truly, alongside my producer and
co star Thomas. Yeah, that's it all goes well.

Speaker 4 (25:58):
So I don't think you that they actually worry he
I don't think he's a big enough name to move
that kind of those numbers.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
No, maybe if she maybe in the wizarding circles, maybe
he bigger.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
Maybe it's funny because that has wizards. It's like, why
is he even there? Well, i'll tell you what.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
New York Times did not think that he was big
enough to move twenty thousand, because they did remove the
book from the bestseller list.

Speaker 4 (26:29):
Yeah. Fair.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
I also fun little fact is that the author used
to manage the band Blues Traveler and Blues Traveler band
member John Popper Great Name commented on the media coverage
and her prior employment with the band, stating that he
found all of this and keeping with his experiences with her,
and those experiences had led to her being fired.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
Wow. Yeah, I've got to say that it is telling
that a woman does this little self promotion and she
gets canceled, and a man does it and he becomes
pressed president.

Speaker 4 (27:07):
It's fair.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
I guess that's a good point.

Speaker 4 (27:12):
That's saying a lot of people, a lot of people
do it. I think she just did it. She did
it a little too hard.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
Like, yeah, I think part of the problem, like maybe
comparing art of the deal, right, like right, there are
other good or good or bad? Like there's an audience
for that book, and I'm just not sure the same
is true of Handbook for Mortals?

Speaker 4 (27:38):
Can I can I read no audience for it? Excerpts
from the Vulture article about it. Yeah, that's good because
they interviewed her, so she's it, says adapting the screenplay
was challenging. My grammar isn't always the greatest, she told me.
Sarah had hired three different editors to help pull the
book into shape. She took pains to make sure mirrored

(27:59):
the script is as much as possible. According to a
person who read both the scripts of the.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Book, so she she originally wrote this as a screenplay,
which we didn't. We left, and then she's like, actually
it's a book.

Speaker 4 (28:12):
Yeah, because somebody told her that books to TV move,
which I've heard, you know, so she said. According to
a person who read both the script and the book,
Saram said she had promised Carrot Top apart in the film,
therefore she had to include him in the book as well.
Wait till you.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Guys, I want to do the Carrot Top scene as
an act out, and I actually scripted it out for us.

Speaker 4 (28:35):
Oh wonderful. Sorry, keep going, you keep going. I have
another quote from that, but I will share. Go ahead,
all right, I'll just do this one. So the writer
of this article is. I asked Nicholas and Sarah if
they felt discouraged by the recent uproar. Short answer, no.

(28:56):
If I listened to the word no, I wouldn't be
in the entertainment business for third one year, is said Nicholas,
and then Sarah added, if we listen to people telling
us no, women probably would not even have the right
to vote.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
It's justificatione.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
So she's comparing herself to like what she's what she
did was like women a suffragette suffragett. Yeah, it's a
suffrage incredible, what a hero.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
A little more about the author my about the author section,
because you know a lot already. I'm just including two
bios that she clearly wrote for herself because I love
it in her voice, it will tell the story the best.
So this is her bio from Instagram. I spin stories
and I'll act them out for you. I've made magic

(29:46):
music and moving pictures. I am the girl next door
dot dot dot if you live and never never land.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
God actually better written love that.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
I love it, and then her bio on Goodreads, which
I'm also one hundred percent certain was written by her.
Lannie Saram basically grew up in the entertainment industry. She
began acting at age three and continued to perform through
her early years. She began writing scripts when she was eleven.

(30:21):
Over the years, she's become a jack of all trades
in the entertainment business. She became a rock and roll
gypsy at fifteen and started fans and working on festivals.
She toured with everyone from Ryan Adams Canceled to Narls Barclay.
She also became one of the youngest female managers in
the business and managed bands like Plain White Teas, one

(30:43):
hundred Monkeys and Blues Traveler, in which.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
She's also in. The books are all.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
And they also the guy from one hundred Monkeys and
the guy from Blues Traveler both spoke out against her controversy.

Speaker 4 (31:00):
She has appeared in.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
Films like Mall Cup Too, Jason Bourne, and Trailer Bark
Shark Handbook for Mortals is a debut novel of a
series of books which are also being made into feature films.
So It's gonna be a series of books and they
are all of them being made into future films, And

(31:23):
I want you to know. I went to her IMDb
and I was like, is what's been going on? She
says she's an actress. Like her current Instagram is like,
I'm an actor. She was recently in something. And this
is a little bit of an ask the author, but
I want to do it right up top here because
we're talking about her career in movies and stuff. So

(31:45):
as recently as twenty twenty three, she acted in a movie.
She played someone named Stacy, who I think is like
a secondary character. I want you to guess the title
based on the log line. Okay, young down on their
luck couple settle for a cheap apartment that seems too

(32:05):
good to be true. Little do they know something lurks
in the drain of the bathtub, something that's thousands of
years old and it is hungry.

Speaker 4 (32:18):
So wait, what are you asking us to get?

Speaker 2 (32:20):
I'm asking you what is the name of the movie
that this jack of all trades Hollywood starlet is in
as Stacy dre Now, Oh nice, really good.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
Tub creep, Tub creep.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Creep is really good.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
That's good. Tails from the hair Monster, good Okay, I
would say, I guess Sabrina is closest. The answer is
movie that she is in is called Bathtub Shark Attack.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
It was a shark that threw me off with how
old it was?

Speaker 4 (33:12):
Yeah, ancient shark and ancient pipes. This must have been
around Shark Nado when they were like, let's just make
everything be shark totally.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
What else could we put a shark?

Speaker 1 (33:25):
I don't know about After looking up pictures of her,
the image of the woman on the cover of the
book is clearly a stylized version of her.

Speaker 4 (33:38):
Right because she does the hair thing she yea at
the bottom. Wow.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Before we get into the book book can did anybody
else read the foreword?

Speaker 2 (33:52):
I did because I thought it was part of the book,
and it was so fucking pissed that I read the
four What else I'll say is I think it might
have been worse than the book. Really, really, it was
so bad.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
It was like this author thought it was a time
to talk about themselves by the author, I mean, like
the person writing the foreword, and it like starts out
of like how they met and how they didn't know
how to pronounce Lanny's name at first, and they go

(34:26):
through a couple of different iterations of what they thought
might be the pronunciation, and then it's it's like, you know,
I typically don't like books of this style, but Lanny
asked me to read it, and I told her that
I thought that I liked this more than other books
of this genre that I had read before, and I

(34:48):
actually personally have written incredible books, and I'm really excited
that you get to hear my voice in this forward.

Speaker 4 (34:57):
The end is that her? Was it her as well?
Someone else? Guy? Who's that?

Speaker 2 (35:08):
Wait?

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Okay, this is this is a quote I told Lanny. Yeah, Lanny,
that I enjoyed this book far more than other books
of the genre that i've exploded exploded. No that that oh, sorry,
explored I can't read that have exploded.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
That wasn't idle talk or a friend telling another friend
something nice so as to not hurt their feelings. It
was real and it was honest. Like that's so dumb.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
It is like most book reviews are fake, and I
know that, and I just want you to know that
even though this one seems fake, it's real.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
I gave her my thoughts on the plot, characters, and
important points, and that was that he didn't read.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
This person also left a five star Goodreads review, one
of the few I did you know? I had to
find my five star Goodreads reviews that they were like seven.
They're like seven.

Speaker 4 (36:05):
Good. Well, I look forward to that. Yeah, wow.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
Wow, Okay, you just let me know when we're ready
for me to read seven hundred quotes from this book.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
I guess let's get into it, like I, yeah, however,
you I think this should just be a quote fest
because it's incredible.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, okay, I'm I'm totally happy to kick it off.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
I have one question before, who was making this into
a feature film?

Speaker 4 (36:38):
Like?

Speaker 3 (36:39):
Where did she get this deal?

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Was it?

Speaker 2 (36:41):
That's a good question that did not come up. And
I wonder if it was like the way like it
was like step one of getting a movie made in Hollywood,
which is like you had a conversation with a producer
that didn't say no.

Speaker 4 (36:58):
I'm I just did Google. AI tells me, okay that
Chris Kenner, who worked on David Copperfield, will produce, So
I don't That's the only name other than like the
Thomas and Nicholas was mentioned. So I don't really feel
like this was very This was like a real deal.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
It wasn't like Netflix said if it's no.

Speaker 4 (37:21):
I feel like they were just like, hey, so and
so who has money said that they would give us
money to make this film.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
I think that's all that they Yeah, this feels like
my neighbor is Maggie Jillenhall, and I put my script.

Speaker 4 (37:34):
In her mail.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
Baw, I know she's gonna make the movie.

Speaker 4 (37:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
She said if it's a New York Times bestseller, she'll
make the movie.

Speaker 4 (37:44):
It's like somebody was like, this will not what happens,
I'll say this yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
It's like, wow, that's a good question.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Said when pigs fly, So I keep throwing.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
That said Kieran Coulkin's little acceptance speech where he said
my wife, oh yeah, that we would have four kids
if I ever won an Oscar. He was like, well, well,
well I guess you just won an oscar. It was
pretty fun.

Speaker 4 (38:12):
It was pretty fun.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Clara, did you not see it?

Speaker 2 (38:15):
No?

Speaker 3 (38:15):
I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
Do you know who Kiaren Colkin is?

Speaker 3 (38:18):
Yeah? You know Kieren Coulkin is.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Okay, do you think it's Macaulay Culkin?

Speaker 3 (38:23):
No, it's his little brother.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Good, yeah, Okay, Karen's name Sarah.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
Were for Karen Calkin. This is the same.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Yeah, his acceptance teach was really good and cute.

Speaker 4 (38:36):
Yeah, it was funny.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
It was really He was like, I have to tell
a story, and I have. I told my wife that
she was I told her I wanted three kids when
I won the last award. She said I could have
three kids, and then I was like, I actually want four,
and she was like, win an oscar And he was like,
and I haven't brought it up until this exact time.

Speaker 3 (39:03):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
It was great, Yeah, she wants four kids to it,
didn't she didn't?

Speaker 2 (39:11):
She said no, And I guess a lot she is
bearing the brunt of it.

Speaker 4 (39:18):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's pretty cool to have
that kind of success.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
Yeah, yeah, that's anything.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
So yeah, definitely really soon, really really really soon, because
we all now have the confidence to write a book
that will become a bestseller because we read this book.
Let's go quotes, let's do it.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
Okay, all right.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
It starts out, let's go see down, let's go round
robin like boom.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Boom boo boo ohkow. This is when she's describing where
she's from. She says, it's a little called town center
called Center Town. Yeah, it's about an hour or so
outside of Nashville, smack dab in the middle of the state,
hence the overly obvious name center Town. Just want to
reiterate that, she said the name twice, like it's Center Town.

(40:13):
It's obvious because it's in the center Center Town.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
Clara, Okay, I just had Okay.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
It was a big, heavy door that made a hard
pounding noise when it shut. I don't think pounding means
boom boom, boom boom, You know.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
What I mean.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
Yeah, I've got a couple of descriptions of of Zaide
or Zadi. Can I give a Can I give a couple?
According to my Sunday the reading the Robot as like
these are all within the same like chapter. I'm not kidding,

(41:00):
I'm not kidding. Okay, Mike, my perfectly cut bang stayed
unaffected by the wind.

Speaker 4 (41:08):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
My favorite highwaisted Levi's dark denim skinny jeans, ripped in
all the right places, made a swishing noise as I
lifted my legs, and my perfect flowy Lucky's top that
I wear far too often billowed around me. I rarely
think this, but I wish a photographer I had taken
my picture at that moment, as the outfit and the background,

(41:38):
and I may have pretduced a cool looking photo. We
need to be explained to why she would think she
needed her picture take it. It's not just that she
thinks she should have her picture taken, which is so arrogant,
but also because my outfit and the background and I

(41:58):
people tell me I'm pretty all the time, beautiful, even
I'm not sure what they see. I think I'm more
of a cute girl. I'm slender, but I do not
believe I would be what most people would call skinny,
not hot girl, skinny at least. I mean, I have
long legs that are toned, but I think my thighs
are a little large my favorite. Due to my dyslexia,

(42:19):
I could write things perfectly but backwards.

Speaker 4 (42:27):
What a cool I am just trying to It's so
hard to pick stuff. So this is also just to
give people. Like the first chapter zero. Chapter zero opens
with her being like, I'm leaving Nashville and my mother

(42:47):
because they have a fight that is nonsensical, and like,
I mean, we could honestly spend like an hour going
over the first scene. I feel if we wanted to, don't,
but we're not going to do. She ends up in
Las Vegas. There's no explanation of why or how, and
she's just auditioning for a big time magician. And that's

(43:08):
most of it is after she is now in this
magic show, and then it's some reason we're talking about
a love triangle. Okay, Sabrina, go ahead, tell us where
we are within the book. And pretty early on in
the book, she's in her car.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
I turned on the radio right after I threw my
car into drive, and the most appropriate song came blaring
through the speakers of my car. It was the opening
lyrics to the Dixie Chicks song Wide Open Spaces.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
That is the beginning.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
I couldn't help but laugh, and how truly that was
my anthem at the moment. I took a sign that
I was doing the right thing as I drove away
and sang along to the song, which she then proceeds
to give all the lyrics to.

Speaker 4 (43:59):
She had to pay for that.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
She had to pay for that, right. I don't think so.

Speaker 4 (44:07):
No, I think you still have to pay. I feel
like she had to. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
It was fucking crazy word count.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
Okay. I'm also to explain why it related to her
so stupid. Okay. So this is this is a quote.
These are quotes from like a little later. This is
more just about the character because this is like her
main love interest and she's being measured, I guess for
And this is the first time that we're switched up POV.

(44:40):
We're in her PREOV and then suddenly we switched to Mac.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
Because that's just something. Three quis away through a book and.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
It says he raised his hand to knock on the door,
but as he clutched his fingers together and bought up
his hand to make a fist, the door opened, just
a crack. It hadn't been closed all the way. Mac
could see Zade standing and nothing but her lace underwear
and a brawl as Lil pulled a feasuring tape around
her narrow waist. Both pieces were black and nude with

(45:10):
lace trim in The pandies, which were a high waisted cut,
framed Zaide's body nicely and showed off her curves and
small waists. Little made a note on her pat of
the measurement and moved down to Zade's hips. Under the
bright light, Zaide's skin looked porcelain white. She was beautiful,
She wasn't super model hot. There was something about her
that just made her stand out. Mack couldn't quite put

(45:30):
his finger on it, but there was something there. He
tried to push the thoughts out of his head. He
didn't want to like her. He couldn't like her. Zade
was the enemy. We don't really know why at this point. Okay,
he tried to repeat that to himself. He took a
deep breath and kept telling himself he should just turn
and walk away. He had forgotten why he was even
standing in front of the wardrobe door. He had something
to do with Zaid in our first day, but he

(45:52):
couldn't remember anything beyond that now. Mac was just not
the kind of guy to just forget things, and it
made him frustrated that looking at her seemed to do
it too him. Despite the frustration with himself, he still
stood there staring for quite a while. Sorry, he's basically
this love as like the biggest creep in the world.
I don't know I.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Multiple times in the book, she complains that her skin
is too white and it's just like Jesus Christ Lady Girl,
especially considering that this book bought its way onto the
best seller list to push the hate you give off, Yeah,
and another book by a woman of color off the
list entirely. It's just like, I'm so white under these

(46:37):
bright lights.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
I like, even the start of that quote was like
what he did? What he clutched his fingers together and
made a fist. Oh, knocking on the door.

Speaker 4 (46:51):
She does describe things like an alien like it's like,
there's a simple way to say these things, but you're
choosing the longest round. Yeah, it's part of my brain.
There were so many times where I was like, and
this might have been not because I was doing my
invented audiobook, but I was like, wait, what's happening here?
What just happened? Like they're just talking about like a feeling,

(47:13):
but there must have been information that was given, and
I had to go back and back and it was
just like rambling nonsense for pages and pages.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
There's way too much information in some respects and so
not enough clothes. There's not like like the start of
it where it was like the door was cracked. It
hadn't been closed the whole way. We didn't think that
there was a big check through it that it had
been like cracked, like someone took it to the door.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
Also, it's this book that is about like magic and
Las Vegas and performing in this like incredible show. And
chapter three starts this is This is a direct quote
the first second of chapter three. It took about a
week for human resources to process my paper an employee. Okay,

(48:09):
I had to do a background check. Worked out well
for me though, because I had to find an apartment.
Luckily the first week I was allowed to stay at
a hotel. I also got some furniture. Jesus Christ. I
need to escape these things. I don't need to hear
about the difficult legistic Okay's cross country move.

Speaker 4 (48:27):
But in her defense, the first chapter with her fighting
with her mom is all about how like you read cards,
people think we're weird because of that. Uh, I want
to be normal, and so now she's getting normal.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
This is normal. No, she's not normal, And nothing about
the way she talks or things is normal.

Speaker 4 (48:46):
This is her.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
This is her description. It's her and Mac. So Mac
kept incessantly tapping his sharpie on the side of his
clipboard and shifting his weight between his feet. I stood
up slowly and calculated looking him square in the eye,
which probably surprised him a bit since he was at
least six feet tall. I've always enjoyed the luxury of

(49:09):
being a tall girl and five foot nine inches inches,
and so while I don't usually tower above any guys
I know, I can definitely look them directly in the eye.
I'll say it a second time. Most girls who at
five feet five inches parentheses, which I believe is average

(49:31):
height for a woman to look up like, So that's great. Also,
if you are five nines, you are not looking someone
who is six feet tall square in the eye.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
It's like she explains it, but she doesn't interesting does
so she understands it for the people who are five
to five.

Speaker 4 (49:55):
I'm sorry, this is another just like kind of like
descriptor this is later I guess in there camping or
some shit I don't even remember. But he goes. She
says she's describing what Mac is wearing, which also I
should say, there's a cam which is just Mac cackwards,
And I was like, why the fuck the.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Same zeb Mac? Yeah, why would you have two Z names?

Speaker 1 (50:19):
Yeah, they're all bland. If she's dyslexic and only reads
things backwards, like is Cam Mac?

Speaker 4 (50:25):
I think it was.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
I think it was always always, and then she yeah, yeah,
I agree, because Cam was hot anyway.

Speaker 4 (50:34):
So there's a long I always don't even I guess
I'll just read it. Mac had on a slightly puffy
jacket with the collar turned up, and he looked rather
abercrombing Fitch leaned up against the tree. I realized this
was the first time I'd seen him outside of his
work attire, his standard black diggies and black buttoned down
his show blacks. She's describing what he's not wearing, or

(50:55):
his occasional car arts, if he was doing something more
mechanical that day. Instead, he was wearing fitted Levi jeans
with the bottoms of the leg slightly rolled up, and
a long sleeved red blue and yellow linen plaid shirt.
Earlier in the day, I noticed that he had the
plaid shirt unbuttoned, showing a white ribbed fing a shirt underneath.
In the South, these types of white undershirts are called

(51:16):
wife beaters. It's a horrible name for anything, really, but
especially a shirt. Though in every movie I've ever seen,
the redneck wife beater wears one and without a doubt.
You call it that and people instantly know what kind
of shirt you are speaking about.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
A movie is like a TV show, but you see
it on a big screen with other people around. Other
people are other humans. Other humans are the beings that
live on Earth.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
At the end, just you say it and people know it's.

Speaker 4 (51:50):
A word you say.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
It needs no further explanation.

Speaker 4 (51:55):
It's incredible.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
Quick one.

Speaker 4 (52:00):
Yes, okay, uh okay.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
So she's at the mall. She needed to get more
clothes because malls quickly make me tired and cranky. Quickly
figure that deserves lemonade. I've got another quick one, Editors,
this is why I'm glad I don't have a free PDF, because.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
I know that this was what she want it is.
It's really like I think if if you told me
that she was a lemon when she wrote this, I'd
be like, okay, job. I wouldn't even think she did
a great job.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
I would encourage the kid. I'd be like, I'm proud
of finished a project. I wouldn't be like, yeah, what
a writer. I'd be like, it's good to when you
say you're going to do something, to do it good
for you. Wait, I have to share more. So we're
gonna die. They're so crazy. Yes, yes, she has. When

(53:04):
she gets to the Las Vegas place to be part
of the magic show, she gets a costumer who like
her name is Lil, and she like does her outfits
for her. This is her description of Lil. She continues
to ramble on in her fast, chatty way, and pretty
soon I tuned out the random gossip and focused on
my reflection in the mirror. Okay. Then like minutes after that,

(53:27):
Lil compliments her and is like, you did a good
job in the show, and Zaide says, what do I
say back? You measured me? Well, God, what do I
say back to this person about their job? Oh, you

(53:49):
were too stupid to perform, But I guess you used
a ruler.

Speaker 4 (53:55):
Thank you be a humane, be a human. Oh but
so that's part of it. Also, like how vaguely things are.
Information is given to us about the fact that she's
like not doing like her whole the whole shtick is that, oh,
she's auditioning to do magic and she won't tell anyone

(54:17):
how she did her tricks because she's actually using real magic.
And it's kind of it's like a funny premise. I
guess but it doesn't. It doesn't really sustain. I wouldn't
say no no.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
And it's also like, you know, if you're in a
situation where you're in a group show and people are
performing together, like those aren't typically the people that you
hide the tricks from, uh right, the people their safety
that need to know details like there are ohsha regulations

(54:55):
and things like that which seemingly needlessly brings up.

Speaker 4 (55:00):
I read it that Lanie Laney lot with Lanny Lanney,
you're just like Sky Turner. I am just like Skytner.
Lannie briefly did work for at a magic show, and
so I guess that's where she got her She must
have made.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
She thought it was so novel that people wear show
blacks and shows.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
This is something they do.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
Yeah, they don't perform constantly.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
They have dark days, and there are legal that run
around behind the scenes. It's not just the performers on
stage that are working.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
It is so crazy. It's like it's like the level
of detail of like describing a magical world, because you
have to do like this whole world building. It's like
you have to tell us about vampires and where they
come from because they aren't real and so we don't
have this basis of information. But she's doing that for.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
The real world. Yes, but like accurate, we do this,
we know for magical people who don't like live somewhere else.
That's what it feels like.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
This is for this is a book about muggles for magic.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
Yeah, it's actually a handbook.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
Wait, a handbook for wizards.

Speaker 4 (56:32):
Yeah? Did she do for?

Speaker 2 (56:33):
Holy shit?

Speaker 4 (56:35):
So this is genius?

Speaker 2 (56:37):
So this is actually hold on.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
Wait are we Is it the New York Times bestseller for?
What is what is the Wizarding World bestseller list? Is
it on? That?

Speaker 1 (56:47):
Is she magical?

Speaker 4 (56:51):
She does?

Speaker 3 (56:54):
She explains the magic a little bit, and I have
a quote for that. Just hearing about I'm just talking
about your guides. Your guides are the little voices that
tell you to slow down or buy bread, or take
notice of the cute guy in line in front of
your guide.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
You know how your guide tells you that when they're
not from driving into an intersection.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
She uses magic at like such random times, like making
a tent, you know, like it's pretty barely the dumbest shit,
it's very the dumbest shit.

Speaker 3 (57:29):
And then then you just make whatever you do whatever
you want with magic.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Always let's I mean, let's just define the rules. At
the end, she also like tries a trick without her anchor,
which is very dangerous, and she almost dies. And here's
how she describes it. I felt my soul leaving my
body like a feather drifting in the wind, except the
wind was made of light and the feather was made

(57:56):
of me. And that's good because when I read the
part that was I found my soul leaving my body
like a feather drifting in the wind.

Speaker 5 (58:09):
I was like, wait, are you the wind or are
you the feather? Like which was your body and which
one was your soul? Like does a feather field drifting?

Speaker 4 (58:23):
What's the feather made of? Are you the feather?

Speaker 2 (58:26):
And luckily then she did clarify because she knows that
I was a morn.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
Oh my god, Oh my god. So wa, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 4 (58:40):
Okay, it's just talking.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
She's talking about Mac. I grabbed my cell phone and
thought about what I could I message him? Nothing, so
we know she's got she's an Apple user.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
Okay, so strike against where my android head's at now
get nowhere.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Nothing great or clever or helpful was coming to mind.
I finally picked a really sad looking emoji. Then the
emoji is in the book and sentence. I waited a
few seconds for it to go through to his phone,
which I could see was sitting on the table in
front of him. I knew he kept it on vibrate

(59:23):
and never with an audible ring, but figured he wouldn't.
He would hear it vibrate on the table and I
would see it light up there.

Speaker 4 (59:32):
It went almost the setup makes you think, oh something,
it's not going to turn on. It's definitely she's setting
up that it's not going to happen the way you. Oh, okay,
it happens.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
He looked at the light flash and picked it up.
I watched him open my eye message and read it.
I then saw him texting something back. I anxiously waited
for my phone to go off and opened it to
the eye message. It was. It was a slightly different

(01:00:09):
emoji with no text to help me understand what he was.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
He was an alien, and I heard that I couldn't.

Speaker 4 (01:00:17):
I didn't listen to this part, but I read someone
say later that like the emoji itself was actually not
something Apple, you can get it that is here.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
It's so true it's like it's like a crying ghost. Wait,
hold on my background, put it by your face.

Speaker 4 (01:00:36):
Okay, put crying ghost is not not.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
I can't not.

Speaker 4 (01:00:43):
This is not.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
It's not an I message emoji.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Can I tell a quick aside about me having an Android?
Real quick? I know you guys like me about it
and like literally.

Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
That this is you bullying yourself, So go ahead, Well
no it's not.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
It's meeting bullied in the workplace, which feels like an
HR violation. But like every day someone complains to me,
like you have an Android.

Speaker 4 (01:01:10):
Okay, I like it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
I like my little phone. And at work the other
day we were talking about doing using like basically working
with phones and like going to a you Fix It
type store and someone's like, oh, there would be a
lot of androids there. Those people that have androids don't
even speak English, was eventually said in a meeting with

(01:01:35):
like twenty people, and everyone in the room was like, yeah,
they don't even speak English. They won't understand, we won't
be able to use Android us. And I was just
sitting there. I'm so ashamed.

Speaker 1 (01:01:55):
It's that's like it was really not to you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
Yeah, no, I'm insulted. No, not for you, but for
the you know, it's like they might understand comedy, yeah yeah,
speak English, they wouldn't understand comedy.

Speaker 4 (01:02:13):
Figure out yeah, maybe do some more. You know, what
is it? The Blue Man Group type humor?

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
So everyone can physical comedy. If you can make a
baby laugh, you can make anybody laugh, et cetera, et cetera.
They say this book uses the word et cetera. Sometimes
it's like, wait, I have a more piece of like
drama gossip to share.

Speaker 4 (01:02:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
So Zaide is, of course in a love triangle. She's
trying to choose between mac or Cam or whatever his
name was, and Jackson. Mac or Cam is like a stagehand,
and Jackson is a singer, a guitarist in a band.

Speaker 4 (01:02:56):
In the plain white Tea, in a band she used
to but here's the band.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
She was also the manager of a band called one
hundred Monkeys, which was Jackson Wrathbone's band. So it appears
that this is a very real fan fiction about the
brown haired guitarist of one hundred Monkeys, Jackson, that she
inserted herself into, changed his name, and then made him

(01:03:24):
the lead guitarist of a different band that she managed.

Speaker 3 (01:03:29):
It she didn't change his name, she changed.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
It from Jackson Wrathbone to like Jackson miss or something.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
Yeah, okay, okay, that is pretty.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
Didn't she did not change?

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
Wow, it's really crazy to write yourself into fan fix
about someone, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:03:54):
Yeah, it's crazy, very funny and also just like also
we as you guys probably gotten that, Like every guy
just is immediately in love with this character too. Yeah,
so she just has our pick of everyone. Jackson is
like a nice guy who seems accepting he her eccentricity

(01:04:14):
as well. I like the fact that she's into and
her mom does card reading. I'm saying that card reading,
Like that's what it's called Tara reading Tarot card Yeah,
tarot cards. But like Cam mac Mac isn't there. I
don't even understand, Like the it seemed pretty obvious that

(01:04:36):
it was Mac over Jackson, but like she still hung
out with them equally and would just be like, they're
not asking questions. I guess they don't want to know
who I'm picking, and would just go out with both
of them and it was really boring. There was no.

Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
Yeah, she does is simply talk to hang out with
two different guys. I don't know if there's even kissing.

Speaker 4 (01:05:07):
Yeah, I do anything.

Speaker 1 (01:05:09):
I kind of did have to trail off a bed
at the end and get skim. H I had just
skim a bit more, but I did catch that. After
she did that, she did a big trick without her anchor,
and she like lost all of her energy. She got

(01:05:30):
really sick. They had to take her home to mom.
There was a little confrontation between Mac and Charles because
Mac thought that Charles was a part if this love triangle.

Speaker 4 (01:05:42):
He's the old main musician. When was it revealed that
he was? I think I must have missed the reveal
because was it was it much earlier or was it late?
Like when did we find out that Charles was her father?
I found out when Mac and he were talking at
the Okay, all right, that's was that it? Okay. I
was like certain that I had missed it earlier because

(01:06:03):
like it seems so weird for it. Also it makes
it funny her auditioning for she's just auditioning for her dad.
It's like the stakes are so low. I don't know
yet she.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Knew she had found out. No, but then okay, so
then they have to go back to Tennessee and the
mother tells Mac that he has to staber in the heart.

Speaker 4 (01:06:30):
Oh, write like an epi pen, but it's don't worry,
it's like an EpiPen for energy or something. She described
it in the weirdest way. I can't yeah, and also
that yes, and but but before he could do it,
I think the mother had to tell her life story

(01:06:50):
that happened just prior. Was like, sit down, you must
know this before you do it. And then also I
correct me if I'm wrong everyone. It had to happen
at three am, when the church bells told at three am,
which is a traditional time you usually hear church bells
making a loud sounds.

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
For some reason, I yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
This part of the book was also so crazily written
because it was like she said, she personally lost.

Speaker 4 (01:07:28):
Memory of all. She's like out, she's unconscious, so it was.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
What was recounted to her. But then she's just like
she's telling you what was recounted to her. It was
like so it was like the author had heard show,
don't tell, but heard tell, Tell, Tell Tell.

Speaker 4 (01:07:50):
But also like you've had character, you've switched point of views,
like just switch point of views. I don't understand why
she was like no, it must be told from the
POV of the incin just person, as though they were
watching every black and that nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:08:06):
Yes, it's quiet.

Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
I am unconscious, crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:08:13):
Wow, what a what a book?

Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
On page fifty five, there's just a stray quotation mark,
don't I don't know. Our pages probably don't line up,
but there's just I look, yeah, there's no of course,
there's no quotation mark before or after several.

Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
Pages, several pages. Can we do an act out please?

Speaker 4 (01:08:50):
Yeah? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
I want to drive everyone's attention back to the beginning
of the pod, whenever we learned that someone had promised
Carrot Top or roll should the movie ever be made.
So there is a scene where Zaide meets Carrot Top
in the mall, and I verbatim transcribed the scene. Nothing. Okay,

(01:09:15):
there is not one single word that has been added.
This is only what is in the book. And I'll
tell you what. Moving from book to screenplay not difficult,
so it would have been an easy adaptation. So I
need someone to read stage directions. I need someone to
read Zaid, I need someone to read Carrot Top, and

(01:09:35):
I need someone to read inexplicably Wayne Newton.

Speaker 4 (01:09:43):
I'll do za Okay, I'll do Wayne Newton.

Speaker 3 (01:09:48):
Great, I'll do Carrot Top.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
Okay, I will do stage directions. Okay, are we all there?

Speaker 4 (01:09:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
Fade in interior shopping mall day, a busy, well lit
shopping mall. The hum of chatter and distant store music
fills the air. Zade walks alone, scanning the passing shoppers.
Two vaguely familiar looking men walk towards her. She squints,
trying to place them as they near. Of course, Carrot

(01:10:21):
Top and Wayne Newton, both grinning, come to a stop.

Speaker 4 (01:10:26):
Hey, guys, you two are the last people I'd expect
to see walking through a mall together.

Speaker 1 (01:10:32):
Charity event just wrapped up.

Speaker 3 (01:10:36):
Yeah, all right, before you got Here's some guy asked
Wayne when he started dating Riba.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
McIntyre gestures to himself, Ugh, that's amazing. You guys coming
to the premiere in a few weeks.

Speaker 1 (01:10:53):
Wouldn't miss it. Besides, you know, Scott'll show up anywhere
with a red carpet, including the opening of an envelope.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
Scott, my mom didn't name me Carrot Top, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
Wayne points a thumb at Carrot Top.

Speaker 4 (01:11:13):
Oh got it, Scott real name?

Speaker 2 (01:11:17):
Okay, quickly changing the subject, so.

Speaker 4 (01:11:20):
Scott, congrats on winning Comedian of the Decade.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
That's a big deal.

Speaker 3 (01:11:25):
Thanks, come by the luxer and see me anytime.

Speaker 4 (01:11:29):
I will well great boat.

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
Da gives them each a quick hug before turning away.
They walk off, leaving through the crowd.

Speaker 4 (01:11:39):
I can only stand them all for so long.

Speaker 2 (01:11:44):
That's a scene that was in the book, and that's
the fun That kills me the most. Is like when
you become a writer and you're like, I'm gonna write
my first sketch for my first story or anything. The
very first thing you learn is like, hey, you don't
need to start the scene by having characters say hello
to each other, and you don't need to end the

(01:12:05):
scene by having them say goodbye. It's just like it's boring,
it's filler, and it's assumed. The scene starts with hey, guys,
and it ends with well, great seeing you both.

Speaker 4 (01:12:21):
And you don't see these characters again.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
So it's not or before that, right.

Speaker 4 (01:12:25):
Nope.

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
When I read, I was like, did I miss something
worse somehow?

Speaker 4 (01:12:30):
Nope.

Speaker 3 (01:12:31):
Went from being a tennis.

Speaker 2 (01:12:33):
Shouldn't like that a lot aware to knowing.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Being on a conversational basis with chirtup. Why didn't she
tell us about that? I care of her life. All
she does only hang out. She tells us about or
with the show staff.

Speaker 4 (01:12:45):
You're like, something cool happened and you didn't tell us. Weird.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
She's on a conversational basis but does not know his
actual name. Wow, what are you doing here?

Speaker 4 (01:13:00):
Wait? This is a quick This is a quick quote
from I guess this is Max, one of you. But
it said it seemed it almost seemed like it had
been planned that. At that exact moment, Mel, another girl,
Mel who worked for the show, walked around the corner
with a large cake lit with candles, and it was like, wait,
who's the other Mel?

Speaker 2 (01:13:18):
Why?

Speaker 3 (01:13:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:13:18):
Is there Why there's another Mel?

Speaker 3 (01:13:21):
There's no Melt's there might have been in a different draft.

Speaker 4 (01:13:27):
Yeah. It was just like, oh my god, shit like that.

Speaker 2 (01:13:30):
Do you guys know how old?

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
Carrot Top is?

Speaker 4 (01:13:33):
Pretty old? Now, isn't he? Also? Comedian of the Decade
is not a thing. I googled it.

Speaker 3 (01:13:37):
The decade is not incredible, Like, we aren't even talking
about her attempt at humor in that scene.

Speaker 4 (01:13:44):
No humor.

Speaker 1 (01:13:46):
He's sixty, he's sixty years old.

Speaker 4 (01:13:49):
Wow, the the envelope is so bad.

Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
I thought he was like ten years older than us.

Speaker 4 (01:13:53):
I also, wow, know he's been around for a while. Also,
I should tell you thirty my parents who live in
Las Vegas have did go seek Carrot Top like in
the past. Really it was really where it was something
where they're on some lists where like if they're like
they need not seat fillers, but like they what they're
like can get free tickets to shows. And my mom

(01:14:16):
got on it, and so they go randomly and they
saw Carrot Top in that situation.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
Wow, what did they think?

Speaker 4 (01:14:23):
I you know what I should have asked, I don't.
I don't. I don't remember a sparkling, any sort of review.
I'll just text her and see if she it just happened.

Speaker 3 (01:14:32):
It just happened to them.

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
Carrot Top. It looks AI generated, even though I know
he's a real person, but like things look off, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:14:43):
Yeah, I think he's had a little work done.

Speaker 3 (01:14:45):
Yeah, then he definitely dies that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:50):
I wouldn't say it's good, it's noticeable work. It's good
work to you work that's like, wow, you definitely got
work done.

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
No, just to confirm I because I have that kindle version,
I did a control find for Mail and the ins
of mel Is saying mail another girl mil.

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
Oh you know what I do remember this moment now
and I felt like it was just like another girl
because she hates women so she had to be out.

Speaker 4 (01:15:26):
Yeah, she really hates women.

Speaker 3 (01:15:29):
It's Mail Comma, another girl mill Comma who worked at
the show.

Speaker 1 (01:15:35):
Yeah, so crazy, what was this even she does some like.

Speaker 6 (01:15:40):
This.

Speaker 4 (01:15:41):
This book was so bad. Really, it was the worst.
It was the worst writing you've ever read.

Speaker 3 (01:15:49):
I don't know that I need to do the exact quotes.
But when she first goes and sees the plain white
tea's the guy, the guy, Riley is like, oh no,
they're actually really good. The rumor has it they have
a record deal. Then they play a song and she
talks to Riley again and he says that they have
a record deal, and I like went back and was like, no,

(01:16:13):
Riley said the first.

Speaker 4 (01:16:14):
One and it happened during that song clearly, and it
was Which isn't that their biggest song? Yes? Come on.

Speaker 1 (01:16:27):
Also, I like googling this book now and it's like
Reddit threads are like this book is kind of infamous,
blah blah blah, Like this would have never been on
my radar.

Speaker 2 (01:16:39):
I know, how did we miss it though? For so long?
And Miles knew.

Speaker 4 (01:16:43):
I feel like we did. I feel like it was
maybe because it wasn't a real Yeah, maybe we just
had we missed it because it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (01:16:53):
Actually Miles came to our rescue.

Speaker 4 (01:16:58):
Yeah, no, he definitely did. I think we were like being,
you know, like I have it under mean book clubs editions?
Where are you?

Speaker 2 (01:17:06):
Do?

Speaker 4 (01:17:07):
We know how old Lannie is. She's like our age,
I believe, or maybe even older now. But she I
believe was like thirty five when this came out. I
think I read that somewhere because I you know, I'll
give that as a that's just top of mind, so
it could be wrong. It was surprising.

Speaker 3 (01:17:30):
Remember when she gets stuck in the rain on her
motorcycle and she's like cold, she loves her magic.

Speaker 1 (01:17:37):
There's a lot going Oh what No, that's so she
could cuddle up to cam Mack.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
I think she is.

Speaker 4 (01:17:46):
That was one of my.

Speaker 2 (01:17:47):
Sorry favorite I think she's forty three and she lives
in Las Vegas, no matter.

Speaker 4 (01:17:51):
Now she's forty three, okay, so I think she would
have been thirty five right when she wrote it. Though
that adds up. This is this is kind of like
an aside. But that Vulture article I was talking about
earlier in the comments, somebody said this, and I don't
know if it's true, but I really want to share
it because I saw no one else talking about it.

(01:18:11):
Somebody same named Adrian said Miss Saram is a con artist, narcissist,
and literally the most uncaring, selfish person I've ever met.
She caught us in a rental scam. We have lived
in the third world conditions for two years that ruined
our health in a house that she received rent from
us for and had a crackhead and had crackhead neighbors
destroy the property for an insurance scam. We had no

(01:18:34):
running water, they cut the floors and walls out, and
we have been attacked by various critics. Wow, she's cold
hearted and karma is a bit. She's a slumlord involved
in mortgage trod in Nashville. Somebody needs to stop her.
I tried. I was like, is any of that true?
I couldn't find any evidence that that was true, which
is like I just was like, because I was thinking, like,
how'd she get the money? You know, we keep talking

(01:18:55):
about this, like how did she get the money to
buy all these books and that stuff? And I was like, oh,
if she's love Lord, that's like her background, that'd be interesting.
But I cannot say for sure that that any of
that is true. It's just a random comment. But you know,
just that a little color if you wow.

Speaker 3 (01:19:15):
Interesting assume she had family money, the like acting she
must have three seems.

Speaker 4 (01:19:22):
Like I don't think she got parts though. I feel
like in interviews she was like I always lost the
parts to other people, Like I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
Really right, but like, how did she have the money
to buy all those books?

Speaker 4 (01:19:31):
Right? Oh, yes, you're telling how other cand did she
have it?

Speaker 6 (01:19:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:19:36):
And just that seems like the kind of like a
rich family would push their kid into acting at three?

Speaker 4 (01:19:41):
Right? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:19:43):
Well an like you know, being able to manage bands
so young but seemingly not being good at.

Speaker 4 (01:19:50):
It or like a ball right that she has a
level of confidence though that you have to respect in
that in that way, you know, oh, yeah, got herself
into this. We're talking about her, like there are podcasts
of people talking about stuff we've written.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
Guys like do you think Miles may is Lanny Saram?

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
Oh my god, she would hate us so, yeah, this
is not gonna go well for us, but we'd love
to have you on the cast. I'm also looking at
Lanny's IMDb, and you know how she was like I
was in Jason Bourne and Paul Blart, and it's like
Jason Bourne conventioneer uncredited, Paul Blart Mall Coffee Hotel guest uncredited.

(01:20:34):
I guess I don't want to take someone down that's
trying to act. But it is also like there is
a level of confidence and sort of like, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:20:41):
She's exaggerating.

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
Everything's a level of dishonesty.

Speaker 1 (01:20:45):
Yeah, yeah, Anna delvying.

Speaker 4 (01:20:48):
Yeah she is Anna Delving. That's a very good way.

Speaker 2 (01:20:51):
Yes, yes, but she has one upcoming project. Let's see
what it is. Bad men must blease. I know that's
what I was thinking she had there.

Speaker 4 (01:21:04):
I believe there are sequel books. I do believe there
are here.

Speaker 1 (01:21:07):
Okay, my media says book one of the series.

Speaker 2 (01:21:12):
You know what, keep writing. I don't fault anyone for
continuing to write.

Speaker 4 (01:21:15):
Wasn't there a woman who like attacked her with magic? Yeah,
and then never came back. I feel like that's like, well,
that's for the next.

Speaker 6 (01:21:25):
Book, for the next book maybe, But we're going to
get into magic in the next book, or maybe someone
from Oasis will have a maybe from her and that
will be the focus.

Speaker 4 (01:21:37):
Is there aren't there more?

Speaker 1 (01:21:41):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:21:41):
It's hard to tell because it's like like we're telling
you it's just not like nobody bought the book. It
was she just bought the books herself.

Speaker 3 (01:21:51):
And we haven't really talked about how much she hates swimming.
We can talk like it's a bit comical, like every
woman is like vapid, it's ugly, ugly, like uh, I
had a quick stuff and then every man is in

(01:22:12):
love with her. We talked about that. Yeah, when she
goes to Hot Dog on a Stick and the kid
like is staring at her who works there, and then
the girl who works there is like gets in her face,
being like he's mine. She describes that girl as a short,
stocky girl with mousey brown hair.

Speaker 4 (01:22:34):
Yep, she doesn't. She like ruins that girl's life by
doing magic on her. That was like, why why are
you doing that to her?

Speaker 3 (01:22:45):
Especially when you're twenty five and you describe them as teenagers?

Speaker 4 (01:22:49):
Yeah, like just walk away, it's fuck away.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
I also feel like mousey brown hair is like has
become like a standard insult. And let me just say something,
which is like, mice have beautiful multicolored fur, and they
can have all kinds of shades of beautiful brown and
blonde and white and black.

Speaker 3 (01:23:08):
I've never heard of mousey being a color descriptor.

Speaker 4 (01:23:12):
I was the first time.

Speaker 1 (01:23:15):
Okay, sorry, so I true she was like doing bad righting.

Speaker 3 (01:23:20):
So my point of bringing this up is that she
like hates the girl so much. It's like brown the
color of them. I'm like, it is stupid.

Speaker 4 (01:23:30):
So she is a light.

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
It's a real phrase. And the first time I ever
heard it was in I Love Lucy and Ethel was like,
what color is your hair? If you don't diet? It
was like a series of questions, but that's the only
one I remember, and Lucy answered them all in success
in succession, and the answer that was mouse brown hair.

Speaker 4 (01:23:50):
Yeah, because MOUSEI does mean like quiet and shy, but
also mousey brown hair.

Speaker 1 (01:23:54):
Light like spacific light, unfortunate.

Speaker 2 (01:23:57):
That's like not I think, what is my hair color?

Speaker 4 (01:23:59):
Eyes?

Speaker 2 (01:24:00):
Exactly?

Speaker 3 (01:24:01):
Okay, so you no, no.

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
It is also I want to do a shout out
to exactly one listener, Emily. I found out recently. Sabrina
is a huge is Love Lucy fan? So oh yeah, Emily,
I thought you would be interested in knowing that didn't
know Sabrina was a huge Lucy fan. But now I know,
and now you it's true, and now everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:24:23):
Does well, and we have evidence, and now we have evidence.

Speaker 4 (01:24:26):
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:24:27):
Yeah, I just, you know, remembered that dumb little bit.
Have I ever been friends for thirty five years and
you just found this out?

Speaker 4 (01:24:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:24:37):
I know, it's weird. I've always thought you were very
funny and had great taste.

Speaker 1 (01:24:46):
What's because I am luci o'balleryan Carnival.

Speaker 4 (01:24:48):
Well, that's right.

Speaker 2 (01:24:49):
She died a month before you were born, and you're
pretty sure you might be Lucille ball Is that?

Speaker 1 (01:24:53):
That's part of it too, right that when I was
a kid, I did think that that was true.

Speaker 2 (01:24:58):
How do you feel what peron percentage of you still
thinks that's true?

Speaker 4 (01:25:03):
Not zero?

Speaker 3 (01:25:07):
The month before is good? It took a month of
you know, you get settled and figure out which kid
to go into. Yeah, that makes it more realistic if
it was the danking it was.

Speaker 1 (01:25:19):
It was a little more than a month before she
was she was dead. I was gonna say so in
this April twenty second.

Speaker 2 (01:25:27):
You were born famously June second, So I guess in
this world you were a baby with a soul and
then Lucille Ball was like, I want to be this
baby's body, so she killed the soul that was in
your body and became that soul and then was born.

Speaker 1 (01:25:49):
Maybe I didn't have my soul until just nothing yet
I got it.

Speaker 4 (01:25:55):
Yeah, yeah, that's fair, that's fair.

Speaker 3 (01:25:57):
It's a clear when a soul, it's when celebrity.

Speaker 4 (01:26:00):
Shoot, yeah, we don't know the rules of celebrity soul.
We need a book. We need a handbook for this, the.

Speaker 2 (01:26:07):
Handbook for Celebrity Soul.

Speaker 4 (01:26:09):
Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 2 (01:26:10):
Yeah, so it's the book is all about dead celebrities
who are like picking who they're going to be reincarnated as,
and like where do you want to go?

Speaker 3 (01:26:19):
This book Handbook for mortals, made me less confident I
could write a book, because it's like, really, this is
someone who thought they could write.

Speaker 2 (01:26:27):
I know, I know, I feel the same Clara. She
thought she was writing a book and she was writing.

Speaker 1 (01:26:35):
There's no personality in this writing at all, like at all,
And I feel you would have a lot of personality.

Speaker 3 (01:26:44):
Thanks Sabrina, and I cut you off while I was
making that point you were going to ask about.

Speaker 4 (01:26:51):
Who.

Speaker 1 (01:26:51):
Yeah, we're all of you reincarnated.

Speaker 3 (01:26:55):
I'm pretty sure I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:26:57):
A first go I'm actually confident that I'm a first
because my birthday is the first day of the Aries sign,
and Aries is the first sign. So I'm positive that
I'm a brand new soul. Plus just my personality, my freshness,
my like zest for life, I mean, my my stupidity.

Speaker 4 (01:27:18):
You're not what's that? Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:27:20):
Well I was going to do a joke like your stupidity,
but you did it.

Speaker 2 (01:27:24):
But I took the power away. I took the power away,
and I so, yeah, I think I'm I know, I
know this is I'm me. I'm fresh. So it's like
amazing that I'm as good as I am, you know
what I mean, Like I'm a first time soul. Like
you'd think i'd be out there bar Is Low. Yeah,
I could be doing anything. Instead, I'm choosing to be
a good person. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 4 (01:27:47):
That's incredible. That's just like Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 (01:27:51):
You could just could have been Maybe it was Jesus.

Speaker 3 (01:27:55):
You guys know, I used to joke that Alfie was
Jesus recorded because just makes people happy wherever he goes?

Speaker 2 (01:28:02):
Is that something known of Jesus? But he made people
happy wherever he was.

Speaker 4 (01:28:07):
I don't think that was one of his things. I
don't think people wanted to kill him.

Speaker 2 (01:28:13):
He flipped those tables over at the gambling behavior of man.

Speaker 3 (01:28:17):
People don't like.

Speaker 4 (01:28:19):
Clara.

Speaker 1 (01:28:19):
I feel like you, and I mean this only as
a compliment, were a dog.

Speaker 4 (01:28:25):
Before.

Speaker 3 (01:28:26):
Yeah, yeah, I can say that I don't understand, don't
know anything about Jesus.

Speaker 4 (01:28:30):
I guess I am.

Speaker 2 (01:28:32):
How far along do you guys all think you are?
Because my answer is deadly serious. I really think that
I'm a first timer?

Speaker 1 (01:28:38):
Do you?

Speaker 2 (01:28:38):
I mean, Serena, you know you're Lucille. Do you think
like you had a few runs before that?

Speaker 1 (01:28:42):
You know?

Speaker 4 (01:28:43):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:28:46):
I don't feel certain on how many runs I had,
but I I feel like I have a such a
connection with the universe that there's no way I agree,
even if it's not Seal herself though, I'm sure.

Speaker 4 (01:29:02):
Okay, Clara, Sarah, So who is is someone who.

Speaker 3 (01:29:06):
Makes someone's life better?

Speaker 4 (01:29:10):
We're Roger.

Speaker 3 (01:29:12):
I always called him like the second coming of Christ
and stuff I always called him that because his birthday
was near Christmas.

Speaker 1 (01:29:19):
Mm hmm, yeah, maybe maybe Santa Claus.

Speaker 4 (01:29:23):
Maybe he was maybe Santa I don't know. I think
this is hard because it's not a premise I really
think about. I guess. I guess kind of like a mac.
I don't really think I subscribe to this belief system.
So I don't really think I am someone who's reincarnated

(01:29:46):
by or whatever. So I'm trying to think of something fun.
But I just googled who died the air was born?
No one's coming up. That's really clicking.

Speaker 2 (01:29:59):
Jeffrey diarund what I'm just spitballing.

Speaker 1 (01:30:06):
Well and again, it could be like any time before
you were born, or if you felt like you had
a big personality shift at any point in your life.
Maybe we're jolted.

Speaker 2 (01:30:17):
You think the soul this is my first You think
this is your first side.

Speaker 4 (01:30:22):
I know, I don't. I think I'm just going auls.
I think I'm just going soul.

Speaker 1 (01:30:26):
Liess.

Speaker 4 (01:30:26):
If I'm honest, I think I believe that I don't
have one. I'm just going without, go without.

Speaker 1 (01:30:31):
Okay, Well, you could be you could be Andy Warhol,
you could be Bob Fossey.

Speaker 4 (01:30:38):
These are these random? These are these are objects?

Speaker 1 (01:30:42):
These are people who died.

Speaker 2 (01:30:44):
Clara, I believe this is a first go round for
you as a human. I do agree. I think you
were probably a dog one or two times. But I
think just you're sort of.

Speaker 4 (01:30:55):
Like one or two.

Speaker 2 (01:30:57):
Things you don't know about, like feel like, yeah, this
is your first time.

Speaker 3 (01:31:02):
Yeah, okay, so other than Jesus, what doing not.

Speaker 2 (01:31:06):
Like the fact that you don't like music? Internet?

Speaker 3 (01:31:10):
Okay, so everyone went did someone say Internet?

Speaker 4 (01:31:13):
Yeah? I said Internet. I don't have.

Speaker 2 (01:31:18):
A lot of stuff, just like oh, I explained it
to Clara because she didn't know night.

Speaker 3 (01:31:25):
No, that's bullshit.

Speaker 1 (01:31:26):
Remember remember that time you didn't know how to unplug
your laud The light was like crazy and you were like,
it's I can't think.

Speaker 4 (01:31:42):
I think she was doing a bit. But we didn't
like it. No, yeah, I was.

Speaker 3 (01:31:50):
We didn't like the b but nobody liked it, right,
And I was like, I'll just leave it all the
entire time.

Speaker 4 (01:31:56):
We were mad. We didn't like.

Speaker 3 (01:31:58):
Yeah, my ring lights stopped working.

Speaker 2 (01:32:05):
I'll dare it.

Speaker 3 (01:32:05):
You leave it on all evening?

Speaker 4 (01:32:07):
Sure y, Yeah, that's gonna great.

Speaker 3 (01:32:10):
I don't have to turn it off. Someone must have
turned it off.

Speaker 4 (01:32:12):
No, I died.

Speaker 3 (01:32:15):
Yeah, so the lighting is not great tonight. All right,
well we never have it back there.

Speaker 2 (01:32:21):
You just have it set up like as though it
were on.

Speaker 1 (01:32:28):
Cool.

Speaker 4 (01:32:35):
Guys, do we are we done with this book?

Speaker 1 (01:32:37):
What do we?

Speaker 4 (01:32:40):
Yes? We do? Good good Reads, five star reviews. We
were promised some stuff from Sky et cetera, so I'm excited.

Speaker 2 (01:32:48):
I did write down Sky's review, to be honest, because
it was just like really, it was like so uh corporate,
you know, it was like okay, But I found a
few others. Christy Ricchie, I think, first of all, I'm
just gonna go ahead and say your name is too
close to Christina Ricci. Yeah, so I'd say go ahead

(01:33:09):
and change that. But the review was I read it
within a few hours. I couldn't put it down. It
is slow to start and does have some grammatical errors.
But I enjoyed this story and I'm excited for the
next smiley face with the little dash for the nose
and the bottom part of the smile. Mark Bettard said,
this clearly a good book. I can see why it

(01:33:32):
was a New York Times bestseller. Shame to see a
bunch of envious haters ruining the reputation of this book
and its author. It's a great book, get over it.

Speaker 3 (01:33:46):
So if she called Barnes and Noble and ordered the
books and stuff, what's to keep her from making several
Good Reads profiles. Yea, and this good book or whatever
the little mistake was in the first sentence makes me
think she wrote that reveal.

Speaker 2 (01:34:08):
Yeah, yeah, So then this is an odd one and
I don't quite understand the point that that's being made here.
But I mean, like I said, there are only like
seven good reviews. So Brian Hogan says, so stay with
me here. Enter an outsider, outsider who shows up on
the scene with something that garners attention. There's a lot

(01:34:30):
of people on the internet who don't think this person
deserves the attention, and they do everything within their power
to stop the outsider. The media, they buy into the
Twitter sphere and ahead of properly vetted information, attempt to
bury a random element. I get it, though, like it
or not, Trump won's the reveal.

Speaker 3 (01:34:53):
I give he maybe had several things he was going
to put online and copy and pasted.

Speaker 4 (01:35:02):
Like it or not, what is Trump won her winning?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:35:08):
I think he's because he sounded like it could have
been about her.

Speaker 2 (01:35:11):
I think he's comparing the attacks on her book to
the attack on Donald Trump, which is really funny because
it's like, and he definitely seems like a Trump fan.
But it's like her book was proven to be fraudulent,
so it's like, it's totally supporting your argument. It's a
little confusing.

Speaker 3 (01:35:33):
I guess if you deny the fact of it, it's
fake news that she was doing that despite the proof.

Speaker 2 (01:35:42):
It just took a left turn that I liked, and
it was a little It was better than the ones
that seemed body. So that's why I threw it in.

Speaker 4 (01:35:54):
They got there, they go.

Speaker 3 (01:35:58):
It could have also been some sort of that she hired, honestly, yeah,
to do good reviews, Like there's no way who would
read this whole thing, let alone review it.

Speaker 2 (01:36:14):
I'm done, I'm done. Let's get out of here. Let's
get out of here.

Speaker 4 (01:36:21):
All right, all right, guys, Okay by.

Speaker 1 (01:36:24):
Hate Ray zero out of five across the board.

Speaker 4 (01:36:29):
I guess, yeah, I guess zero out of I mean,
I feel like I could give it a one out
of five because I think it did make me feel
like I could write a book, but you guys said
it felt it made me feel.

Speaker 3 (01:36:39):
The obvious that it's harder than I was, like, maybe
writing a book is hard.

Speaker 4 (01:36:43):
Actually yeah, I just yeah, I guess it was like
I fear that this is what it would look like
if I tried to write a book. But I always fear.

Speaker 1 (01:36:52):
I just I've already I've started writing, and it's not
what it looks like when I.

Speaker 4 (01:36:57):
Write a good that's the kind of that's confidence.

Speaker 3 (01:37:01):
I'm sorry. Yeah, I started writing a book.

Speaker 1 (01:37:04):
Yeah, you know, Okay, everyone everyone thinks I'm writing my
own autobiography.

Speaker 2 (01:37:13):
No, whatever, they are correct?

Speaker 4 (01:37:16):
What the.

Speaker 2 (01:37:18):
You can't say what she's told us about it?

Speaker 1 (01:37:21):
Like fifty times, but I can't say publicly.

Speaker 4 (01:37:25):
I feel like it's a biography. When you say she's
told us about it, it's not.

Speaker 2 (01:37:29):
No, yeah, what do you mean what she has talked
about this?

Speaker 4 (01:37:34):
I don't know what you're talking about? What is it?

Speaker 5 (01:37:38):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (01:37:39):
I can't say publicly because I don't want the idea
to be stolen, because it's going to take me another
four years to do it.

Speaker 4 (01:37:46):
At the pace i'm can't. Everyone knows. You can't worry
about that because the way you write it will be
uniquely used. So you can go ahead and tell.

Speaker 2 (01:37:53):
Us I.

Speaker 3 (01:37:57):
Thought we were all going to write a book together.

Speaker 4 (01:37:59):
Yeah, yes, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:38:01):
So I'm gonna reveal I've been writing it for years.

Speaker 1 (01:38:05):
No, please don't.

Speaker 2 (01:38:06):
I'm going to do it because you're pissing me off.

Speaker 3 (01:38:08):
I think, being serious, I don't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:38:14):
It's basically the premises. It's just like young folk magic
practitioner who leaves the Las Vegas to join a sideshow.

Speaker 4 (01:38:24):
Cool.

Speaker 1 (01:38:25):
Yeah, that's it. Her name is Sabrina. That's the change.

Speaker 2 (01:38:32):
It brilliant.

Speaker 3 (01:38:33):
All right, if you were actually magic, would you go
on stage and be like, look at me doing magic.
You guys think I figured out how to do this,
but it's real magic, Like it just doesn't even seem
like a skin.

Speaker 2 (01:38:44):
I would reveal it in the shittiest, dumbest way possible
and everyone in a way where everyone would be like
we already knew, and your magic stupid, because I'd be like,
I'm magic, you assholes. Look I can clean up the stain,
I like clean up the state.

Speaker 4 (01:39:02):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:39:02):
Okay, yeah, I guess you're magic now, and that's how
we learn.

Speaker 3 (01:39:07):
Yeah, you probably could have been helping me with more things.

Speaker 4 (01:39:11):
Ever, give me anything.

Speaker 3 (01:39:17):
Here's a magic Yeah, that's where we are. She's magic.
But she goes shopping at the mall.

Speaker 4 (01:39:23):
Yeah, she's doing dumb ship.

Speaker 1 (01:39:25):
She's doing dumb sh Listen. I can't think about her
any longer.

Speaker 2 (01:39:29):
I agree, let's go. I need to leave, now, go bye.

Speaker 4 (01:39:33):
All right?

Speaker 3 (01:39:34):
They were okay as well.

Speaker 4 (01:39:35):
Guess oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:39:36):
Little fucker, little fucker.

Speaker 4 (01:39:39):
Ah, I guess. I can't say that.

Speaker 2 (01:39:49):
It's it's it's it's it. Oh my god, say it,
it is it?

Speaker 4 (01:39:53):
Oh my god, say it is it. It's gonna be now.
I was gonna say it's my my my baby here
at the beginning, making probably making no.

Speaker 2 (01:40:05):
I loved him being here. He gave the biggest smile.
It was so sweet, you're now my little fucker for
even suggestion it was. He gave the most precious smile.
I mean, people can't see it. They probably could only
hear him going.

Speaker 4 (01:40:23):
In the background at the beginning.

Speaker 3 (01:40:25):
People love sweetheart.

Speaker 2 (01:40:27):
I love babies.

Speaker 3 (01:40:28):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:40:28):
I never thought i'd be one of those people. But
now you got a baby, you're like other ones are cute.

Speaker 4 (01:40:34):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:40:34):
Prior to this, I I did have to like fake
it a little bit oh weird because clar and I
know baby you hav so it's weird that you say
that with others. With other people I cared for, it
left well yeah, well, I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:40:49):
Yeah, unfathomable to think someone wouldn't be so yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:40:54):
No, I just mean with like people you don't know,
like dumb people and dumb babies, not yours.

Speaker 3 (01:40:59):
Yeah, I will say I have actually sort of the opposite.
And it's not not with people I love babies, but
with like a random baby. It's like, like I say,
having Alfie made me less of a dog person, because
like I like Alfie, I'm an Alfie person. Yea, So
now it's like I'll give a shit about some other baby.

Speaker 2 (01:41:20):
Wow, the opposite with dogs and babies. Yeah, all right,
who's that? Who else? Who else we have for a
little fucker.

Speaker 3 (01:41:30):
A little fucker, little fucker. I think I'm also gonna
pick Sarah because she was like, I don't know, that
whole reincarnation thing seemed like she didn't really have to
throw in that. Once she set up my Internet for me,
which was like a nice thing to do, but I

(01:41:50):
didn't know I was going to hear about it for
the rest of my life.

Speaker 4 (01:41:53):
Yeah, it happened several times that I have read.

Speaker 1 (01:41:56):
I like that, although for Sarah too, just out of expedience, see,
because this book has really tuggered me out, and I
wanted to go to sleep, and I really, Sarah thought
I was never going to vote for you because you
have your DSP. That's a dick sucking palette.

Speaker 2 (01:42:15):
Oh my god. Oh I wish I could take back
my vote.

Speaker 4 (01:42:19):
Beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:42:21):
That was really good, but unfortunately is yeah. Yeah, so
unfortunately the tide turned and I had to to Okay,
it's fine, it's fine, all right, do you throw a vote?

Speaker 2 (01:42:37):
Little princess voted? Oh, I mean remember it can only
be it can only be, uh.

Speaker 1 (01:42:45):
Clara basically not just you basically could.

Speaker 3 (01:42:50):
Because the bread the bad thing.

Speaker 2 (01:42:56):
All right, Sure, Sarah can never be a historic.

Speaker 4 (01:43:04):
Than I did just coin d SP. I mean, I
don't want to even get myself on this.

Speaker 3 (01:43:11):
She coined DSP. You know, something I admire about Sabrina
is that she could play both sides, so you know,
she's just very genuine.

Speaker 4 (01:43:22):
All Right, I'm going to say Sabrina in an attempt
to make this.

Speaker 2 (01:43:27):
Princess to say why because she can and then like
giving a compliment.

Speaker 3 (01:43:34):
Now you don't like little princess, Johnny can't.

Speaker 1 (01:43:37):
This is more annoying.

Speaker 4 (01:43:38):
John's exactly how I felt the whole time.

Speaker 2 (01:43:43):
Stupid took yourself out of it, Sabrina, Sabrina.

Speaker 3 (01:43:54):
Yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:43:55):
You can privately text me whatever you're going to say.
That's me great, Okay. What is our book for next week?
What's our book for next week? What the hell is
our book for the next episode?

Speaker 3 (01:44:08):
The calendar?

Speaker 2 (01:44:10):
It is Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Rayburn.
I'm excited.

Speaker 4 (01:44:17):
I think this isn't actually this one.

Speaker 2 (01:44:19):
It continues our string of murders.

Speaker 4 (01:44:23):
I'm excited.

Speaker 2 (01:44:24):
I hope it's great. I need a good one because,
dear God, these last two.

Speaker 4 (01:44:28):
Yes, as always, we are mean book club. Please follow
us on all the socials, and we've got Blake. He's
he's hitting stuff hard. He's showing you stuff that's our
you know, Sharon, fun stuff. You guys know Blake, that's
our boy, Blake. Patreon, please become a member. If you
become a member, we will and you give us enough

(01:44:50):
money we will read your b That's simple, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:44:54):
And ideally meet the criteria of being a New York
Times bestseller. We would love if it were.

Speaker 4 (01:45:02):
We wouldn't, but we were. We're very We are easily tricked. Yeah,
photoshop something, send it attached it at the PDF. We
will not question it. But we book up dot com.
All right, guys, we'll see you next episode.

Speaker 2 (01:45:23):
Bye bye, Losers Shop.

Speaker 4 (01:45:27):
No, we don't recault.

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Episode Transcript

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.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

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