Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
As we got some special news tothat, you get some very pretty cool
(00:03):
news. We found out recently.Every year Universal Studios has Halloween Horror Nights,
which, as most of you know, is an event where everybody dresses
up in a little Halloween monster costumesand they come and they chase you,
and there's mazes and you could ridethe rides and it's pretty cool. But
this year they have something special.This year they got something kind of epic.
(00:23):
It's a whole screamatorium of Blumhouse.When it just so happens that some
of the junk they have there arethe actual Fanaff costumes from the actual Fanaff
movie, and we're gonna go seeit tomorrow. Look, I'm glad you
(00:45):
actually had news to share. Iwas just saying that to see what you
had come up with, Well,it is kind of big news, it
is. We were very excited aboutit. Yeah, the second I saw
it that, I was like,Okay, we need to go to Universe's
like, where is this? Whichone is the Universal? Oh, we
gotta get tickets. Immediately were like, hi, Kellen, I know it
does Kellen. Kellen was like,no, either way, I'm excited the
(01:07):
movie comes out. So guys we'vebeen talking about If you've been following along
the podcast, it's weird. Fromthe very start, we've been talking about
five ments of Freddie's and Saw Xand they're both coming on. Like Saw
it comes out in like a coupleof weeks. So yeah, Saw was
coming out this month and then fiveminutes of Freddie's is coming out next month.
Kind of this is a stacked month. This is kind of like and
it's like the one anniversary of ourpodcast coming in. Yeah. Yeah,
(01:33):
we've recorded episodes as far back asFebruary, but it took a still September
to Uplood's January almost at twenty twothousand subscribers. Whoa, we're gonna have
a big old one year like hollabalooza. Yeah, it'll be kind of awesome,
guys, so stat tuned. Yeah, So before we started this podcast,
Mark was listening to this guy liketalk about Creepy pastas. I was
(01:55):
gonna ask you, you know what, Okay, she can, so I
was gonna ask you the same thing. I was like, Okay, if
we're talking about anything, I wantto talking about Creepy past is because I
was really into them as like ateen. I didn't know shit about creepy
pastas until like years ago. Really, and my first my first exposure,
I guess to creepy pastas was myfriend telling me about squid Words suicide and
(02:19):
he was like, you want tosee the picture of squidwards suicide. It's
really scary. And I was like, no, I don't want to see
that. Actually, I don't wantto see a scary squid words. What
do I was like twenty, Iwas like, I don't want to see
scary squidward. No, thank you, Yeah, I would see that.
I think I've said this before,maybe not in the podcast, but I
was terrified as a kid of aMarkuppler thumbis. It was when he was
(02:40):
playing right, Yeah, the MickeyMoyes where he's like, eyes are all
bloody, put the put put theMickey mouse. He honestly, that is
like there's a reason why that's themost common horror like fist to do.
No eyes like the smile eyes staring, the beady red dot eyes that look
like blood's coming out of it.Yeah, that's like the big thing.
Okay, it's like give me,give me your fake new creepy pasta like
(03:05):
icon thumbnail what would it look likethere goes there it is, guys,
I'll drive I describe it right now. You gotta have a smile like an
open marf smile with no teeth andno tongue. But it can't be like
a perfect happy smile like open smile. It has to kind of like be
like non symmetrical, you know whatI mean, Like a really big crooked
(03:28):
smile. It's gotta be like notoverly crooked to where it looks cartoony,
but it has to be just enoughto where your mind is like, that's
not right, not what I thinkup. I think of the new Sonic
dot exe where they redesigned him withtwo little red bed bed eyes that appears
a split second before the image getscut off. I imagine that most creepy
pastas are obviously based off of likerealish kind of things that make it scary.
(03:52):
So I would want my creepy pastamonster to look like someone who had
been curb stomped. So it's justlike an overbite with like jagged teeth,
and like the bottom jaw is completelylike broken off, so it's like mouth
is like a gape, kind oflike Golden Freddy. But then it looks
like it's like dangling there, butit's it's not really dangling there, you
(04:12):
know what I mean. You can'treally tell because it's also like distorted a
little bit. It's kind of likemy creamy pasta would be a photo taken
that is like a police photo,police criminal photo that they took like evidence,
right, But it's kind of blurry, and it's a man who had
gotten curbs dumped. But in hiseyes you cannot see the white of his
eyes and you see the red littlethoughts. Maybe one of those stories where
(04:32):
like the creepy pasta is like thepolice report, like I saw ye intern
for a police station and this isthe pot the only photo that took it.
I was on a ride along withour local police station, thinking I
would get a better understanding to howthings are working, or to snap one
of the photos that took. Butit's a little blurry. Sorry, and
that's that. That's the that's all. They didn't they didn't know I took
(04:53):
this photo. They didn't want ustaking photos. It would be like it
would be like he was in ourjail cell for weeks, but he never
moved like at all. He justset there like taunting us. Yeah,
I'd like to believe that it wasa case where this man was just so
unhinged but so like inactive, thatit caused psychological distress onto those who would
working who are near him, thatwould cause him to like want to like
(05:15):
kill him, which is why he'scurb stomped, but he can't ever die.
There you go, guys, someonewrite it up and if someone writes
that, we'll read it on that. Yeah, you know what, here
is an email. Boom, here'san email. Write us your creepy pastas
and we'll read them. If youdon't want to have it be about that
thing in particular, just write acreepy past Yeah, just write anything,
(05:36):
I know, pologizing. Yeah,you will look at it. We will
copy past that. Yeah, wewill copy pasta this creepy pasta if you
copy it. You know it wasa kid always mostly scared by. Yeah,
the ones be a staff stuff Iwould know. I would always like
get scared by. Then be likeI can never watch one of these.
They're so scared. And then itcomes like night time and I'm like,
I want to look at creepy pastis okay? And less than fifteen words
(06:00):
described to me Ben drowned. Disclaimerfor Ben drawn fans out there, I've
never actually read it or really like, I never I never cared about it
Zelda as a kid, so Inever really paid attention to Ben Drawn.
But for my understanding, Akarina ofTime cartridge, Karina of Time cartridge,
all fucked up, all fucked up, link dies brutally, neam, says
(06:28):
Ben drawing on the title screen summaryof guys are right, rate one out
of ten Babba buoys in the comments. You're watching that at nighttime in bed,
lettening? Do it on your earphone? Would you be scared?
The one that sucked me up themost was the Teals Doll as a kid.
(06:49):
That's right, I remember you tellingme this. Yeah, I think
I made a video about it once, not the one on splash jash,
but I made a video on mymean channel about it. I never showed
you. Yes you have. It'sa video of like me when I'm like
sixteen talking about Hi. I waslike terrified of the Teals Doll as a
kid. Mark never likes watching hisold videos. It's my voice is so
(07:10):
weird. But then people would arguemy voice is weird and are Yeah,
No, I I made a videowhere I would talk about it. But
it like I'm trying to think aboutthe first place I would have seen it.
I think it was just like SonicR you know, Creepy past Is.
I would I would see it onYouTube. It would be like YouTube
videos of like people reading the stories, you know, word for word going.
(07:30):
So your introduction Creepy Pastas was throughlike YouTube videos, gotcha, And
it'd be all these different tealstall ones. And then I think I saw like
an AMV that had like a tealstallanimation in it for a bit or it
was like a Teals doll amb andthere was one shot that really scared me.
And you know what's interesting, I'venever told you this, but there
was one song by Two Door CinemaClub that would error around the time I
(07:58):
saw that. It was like advertisingtheir d that's all ongo those was.
And it was the song the musicvideo where they're playing the guitars and three
of them and they're kind of likelaying on a black like sheet and like
all these little like things like comein the the frame. Darn. I
don't remember. Maybe if I showedyou we saw it, if you played
it, I could look look guys, I'll show you this is this is
(08:18):
the song, that's the song andthat that would air, and there's them
being in like the black kind ofvoid. There was some word they were
singing that I associated with the mV because the song that played kind of
was like a creepier version of somethinglike that. Not of that song literally,
but of a song kind of likethat, you know, where it's
(08:39):
like the guitars and all gringing stuff, but it's like demonic. So it
was playing that and it had likeso I just intrinsically associate that with the
Teal's Dog, But in your headdoes it cross wires with like in between
Ers? And like I never watchedin between Ers as a kid around that
time. Oh I watched that onetime. What about now? What about
now? When you hear that song? Now? Do you think of in
(09:01):
between Ers or do you think ofthe Tails Doll? I don't think of
the Teals Doll when I hear thatsong because as a kid, I could
not remember the song. But wheneverI see the music video, I think
of the song Teals Doll. It'sconfusing, but I feel like it's weird
how your mind associate yeah stuff,I also associate it with Star Wars.
It's the one where they neat Jobof the Hut because my dad was playing
(09:22):
that in the background while I wason like the family laptop watching what do
you mean the one where they meetJob of the Hut the movie Star Star
Wars movie. Yeah, but itwas like lego Star Wars is like The
Clones the movie, like like thefirst like the Old Ones, Yeah,
the Old Ones. He was playinga game or he was playing he was
watching it in the background. Hewas playing it. So I was trying
(09:43):
to figure out what I'm playing it, like, yeah, I know what
you mean. Yeah. So Iwas really scared of it that that music
video in particular, and I cannever find it. I think I find
it once, or at least Ithink I did, but I never see
a music video to what AMV?Like the Oh the Tails doll am V.
If you are not going to findthat now unless you like remember I
(10:05):
specific there's one MS specific part Iremember. But anytime I see it now,
I'm like, that's not it.It's it, but it's not it.
You know, it doesn't it doesn'tget it. You sure, it
wasn't like somebody else's like re uploadedMV that just like took the like assets
from other things. Maybe this wasthe part of it that was like they
played this but really fast, whereasthe usual clip is really slow. It's
(10:26):
so cute though that No, thatterrified me as a kid. It looks
so cute. I love his littlelies. I I give up a Teals
Funko pop for the Teal's doll.Whenever Funko pops first came out, I
didn't know what they were. AndI saw them and then I was like,
well, there's a Sonic one andmy dad was like, do you
want it? And I saw therewas a Teals one too, and he
was like, do you want thatone? And I was like, I
don't wanted to kill me, soI didn't get it. And now it's
(10:48):
worth like three hundred dollars. Wow, little tails doll. Yeah, it
looks horrible. You you wouldn't thinkthat, like sleeping with the Tails dollar,
I wouldn't kill you, like huggingit like I showed it compassion and
love and now this little guy lovesme. No, I was tearing.
There was a flash game I wouldplay on New Grinds, and it was
showed me that it was like,yeah, it was Teal's nightmare. And
(11:11):
it ended with like a little cutscene of him waking up and the Teal's
doll like on a shelf, itlike rises from behind his bed's right,
and then I my family would bewatching stuff, so I'd have the volume
all the way dying, so Iwouldn't hear. There's like a little joke
where Teals is like like, oh, it's you and then like kicks the
shit out of him like sign effects. But I never heard that. I
just saw him like rising above theback of his bed. Then it cuts
(11:33):
to black. That's like, ohmy god, he's gonna kill me.
Yeah, So I anytime I entereda room for like two years, three
years straight as a kid, likeI'm trying to think of the age like
seven, maybe anytime I would entera room, I would always look behind
the sofa or look behind like mybed at nighttime when I was going to
bad. You know, my parentsused to have this large I think I've
(11:56):
said this before on the podcast.I don't know if I have, but
if I have, than whatever.My parents needs to have a large crucifix
of Jesus Christ on the wall.And it was like the most graphic looking
crucifix ever. Here's a picture ofwhat it looked like. I bet you
I can find one, because theysell him at every fucking Mexican type grocery
store. Yeah, because that's whymy parents would have gotten it. Maybe
(12:18):
one of you guys have it too. Yeah. He's like gray, and
his knees and every he's like bloodiedthe fuck up, and you can like
see where he was like speared,I'm pretty sure, and like those hands
are just bleeding and he's like anagony like oh, like being on the
crucifix, right. And around thistime, I would was going to Catechism,
(12:39):
which is like Catholic school, andwe had to play the crucifix game
where everyone stood on a square andhad to put their arms out like this,
and whoever can hold their arms thelongest like wins a candy, right,
And so we had to learn howJesus Christ was like tortured. That's
pretty smart, yeah, for teachingpurposes, Yeah, pretty clever. Like
(13:01):
I remember, our teacher was like, everybody, go home and look at
your guys's crucifix and see the detailsof like how he was tortured. So
it was the first time I evernoticed to that crucifix that they had,
and it was really big. Itwas like this big, its huge,
and it was right above their bedand I was terrified of it. It
was definitely a scared of it.And I was like, oh my God,
(13:22):
I'm going to hell because I'm scaredof Jesus. Oh my God.
That reminds me of this Halloween decorationwe've had. I think I've talked to
you about it before. It's likethe witch. This is I vaguely remember
this we had for years. Itwas a weird like peeper machef statue of
a witch and she looked freaky onher own. But was it homemade or
(13:45):
was it like your mom bought ata store. It was like Homie had
bought at a store, but not. It didn't seem like it's the kind
of thing that was produced on afactory, you know. And after a
couple of years, the moth brokeoff, like the bottom jaw, so
my creepy pasta. Yes, itwas just kind of like paper, you
know, you could just see thepaper. But we'd still take it on
every year and we would always wehad it. The way my host was
(14:05):
whenever I was a kid, wasit was really long. It was like
one story but really long. Sowe had a big hallway that was like
all the bedrooms in the bathroom andstuff. Then like a big like hallway
or not hallway like me, androom of the host like the entrance,
and then like the kitchen and everythinghere. And so if I'm getting up
(14:26):
at night now I want to goto the kitchen, I have to like
walk all the way down that hallway, go through the whole host basically,
and right beside the door where theywhich was the entrance to the kitchen,
they would have the little witch likeright beside it. So I was always
like fucking terrified that I would goto like reach to open the door and
it would like grab my hand,you know that. Yeah, but she's
(14:46):
probably cool. She probably wants tobe your friend, you know what.
I have the photo of it.Do you we're coming up to, like
what it's September ninth, We're comingup to like twenty one when you went
more days of September until it's theHalloween Festival. What is something that you
really really look forward to this Halloween? Aside from the Five Nights of Freddy's
(15:09):
Movie, nothing really really Halloween Halloweenjust doesn't do it for me anymore.
You know, as a kid,it was so like cool, and the
build up to it was so likeamazing, And there's something like weirdly nostalgic
about like certain Halloweens to me asa kid. I remember I would like
it was really colder on that timebecause it was like getting winter, and
I'd always go to like my myGreek granny Sauce after school and like do
(15:33):
my homework and watch fairly add Parents. Then I go home and plus Sonic
Adventure DX on my Xbox. ButHalloween, I is like, who even
celebrates Halloween? Like what kids celebrateHalloween anymore? Sons of kids celebrate Halloween.
I thought like Halloween themed drinks,Halloween themed costumes, candy, I
mean celebrate Halloween. The night wewere I was expecting to be like massive,
(15:58):
and no one we saw, noone all the like dressed up or
anything. So it was like itdidn't even feel like Halloween. I feel
like the same thing towards Christmas here, but I guess that's just like a
weather thing. Christmas didn't feel likeChristmas though, because we were like at
my parents house doing fuck all andlike Christmas decorations. Our home was more
Christmas Eve than our like our Christmasactual day. Yeah. We saw Babylon
(16:22):
with Veronica's parents. Yeah that's whatyou want my mom. My mom really
wanted to go see Babylon and itwas released on Christmas. So I was
like, okay, let's go seeit. And it was okay, but
I liked it. I was workingin the ice Park video. I got
the ice Park video done like twodays before Christmas. The ranking one right,
and so I was I had beenstaying up like all night, like
for two nights streets. So onChristmas, we like went we went to
(16:45):
Denny's with your family because then itweren't doing food that year. And then
we weren't doing food that I know. That's why I forgot you guys don't.
Yeah, we made Tamali's mark.That's what a Mexican Thanksgiving Christmas because
we don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Ireland.We have our Thanksgiving dinner on Christmas.
Well, everybody has Christmas dinner,but is that like turkey and then like
(17:08):
these people a cooked goose for everyone? You see Christmas Carol the Big Dinner,
He's Mickey Mouse Christmas. I guessit is just because you're Mexican.
I don't know. I was talkingto someone about it and uh no,
you're right, you're right. Yeah, the regular Americans everyone has Christmas dinner.
I'm just Mexican and we eatmis Yeah, that's that's what was weird about
it. But it was. Itwasn't. It was a very very lame
(17:32):
Christmas because we didn't do any traditionsthat we normally did except making tamillies.
That's what. Yeah, we camehome from our we came up from Denny's,
and then we fell asleep for likefour hours until we had seen Our
sleep schedule was like super fucked up. Yeah, well you were doing the
South Park video, but I wasstaying up because my sleep schedule. Our
sleep schedule was just fucked. Yeah. Callen was like, you know at
(17:53):
Veronica, if you stay up untilnine or yeah, stay up until nine
pm all day. Hey, ChristmasDay, I will pay for your next
plane ticket or pay for half ofyour like your next plane ticket to Ireland.
Because we were originally gonna, wewere gonna, but we we couldn't
or whatever, but I ended upmaking it, so Kellen, I'm holding
(18:15):
you to that next time, Kellen, have you ever had any fears that
you've gotten over over time? Imean I used Everyone knows I used to
be terrified of the don kyon Countrygame over. I mean, I've gotten
over it, but it still freaksme out, like still creeps me out,
you know, deep down inside.I don't know. When I was
younger, I was kind of alwaysI was kind of a scaredy cat.
(18:37):
Like I was very much afraid ofsomeone kidnapping me at the store, like
getting lost to the grocery store.Or I was afraid of like scraping my
like scraping my knee and then havingto have my leg amputated off. You
know, I was, I was, but it didn't stop me from doing
anything. But I still had thatirrational fear. And I think as I
grew up and got older and likedid a lot of more reckless and dangerous
(19:03):
things, I've kind of like becomeblissfully unaware of those normal fears people have.
Yeah, I feel like I've nevergotten over any fear. I've just
been like I don't care anymore.Yeah, Yeah, that's it. Even
spiders slowly for me. You're tryingto become like I just don't care.
Now you're scared of cockroaches, notyet, not nearly as much as you
(19:25):
though. You know, I'm terrifiedof cockroaches, Like I could kill that
one that we saw that one time. Dude, fucking MVP of the world
killing that cockroach. Oh my god. It was such a like my hero
moment. Oh the other day,Butch Hartman posted a photo of a scorpion,
and I was like, oh,that's cool. He took a picture
(19:47):
of a scorpion. But then helike writes, let me read what he
says. I'm like, wait aminute. I was like, why is
that like scorpion? Kind of likego fucked up? I'm like, why
does it look so weird? Right? He writes, So thankfully this new
visitor was about two inches long andnot the size of a dog, and
(20:07):
Luke ten nineteen tells me I havethe power to trample on them. So
hashtag scorpion, hashtag Luke ten nineteen, hashtag creepy, hashtag weird, hashtag
Bible, hashtag scripture, hashtag Jesus'sSo, I imagine people going on hashtag
scorpion are people who are like enthusiastsabout them? Was a pet I like
them scroll, yeah, scrolling dirtand seems he's stomped on top of his
(20:29):
fucking scorpion. It's like stomped andlike flattened on this dirt road and he's
just like the Bible said, soyeah, but even then, like you
stomp on it, Like why takea photo? Why? That's what I'm
saying, Like there's no deby swishingbug because people don't care. It's like,
okay, well, a scorpion iskind of different because the scorpion is
is a lot more intelligent than justlike a bug. You know. Scorpions
(20:51):
are kind of like a predator.So I would imagine like rather than just
killing it, you would trap itand like let it go outside. You
know that it's just a dirt Itwas just on a dirt road. You
just saw it on the street,stomped the ship driving by at nighttime,
saw it on the sidewalk, parkedhis car, got hut and stumped on
it, lapped it with his bible. Luke night Jean. Guys, this
(21:12):
isn't a horror story, but itis terrifying. Veronika talking about like fucking
busting up her leg earlier reminded meand I we every time he comes over.
We never end up recording, soit's not like he's going to tell
his story ever. But you shouldtell them about the story of how Sonny
fucked up his leg as a littlebaby. Oh yeah, Okay, So
(21:37):
Sonny has this like giant ass scaror gash on the bottom, like on
the back of his leg, Likeit's this big giant scar, right.
Yeah, And I guess when hewas younger in an elementary school, there
was like this open ditch in theplayground that had like a pipe that was
like kind of sticking out, butthe pipe, the top of it clearly
had been stomped on, so itwas like really sharp, had like a
(22:00):
sharp edge to the pipe. Youcan see where this is going. Yeah,
and this kid like pushed him intothe ditch and he fell and it
sliced into his leg like a bighe said he could Yeah, he said
he could see the muscle and bonebeing like just completely his skin just dangling
off of his leg, and hewas like in so much shock he just
(22:22):
didn't even I don't even think hehad much of a reaction because of the
shock. Yeah, But he endedup going to the hospital and his family
sued the kid and he got liketwenty grand, which I would ask for
more. Yeah, twenty twenty grandjust because you mutilated my leg. But
imagine, imagine if that was ourson who pushed another kid and we have
(22:45):
to pay twenty grand, Like,I'd be like, are you fucking kidding?
I would be off at my kid. Yeah, yeah, what would
you do? What what discipline wouldThere's nothing you can do. I probably
would not let them have any formof like entertainment entertainment slash sociability unless I
was like a round. Oh.I would make my kid go over to
(23:07):
that other kid's house every day.I would like try to like have an
arrangement with the other kid, thesonny's parents to be like, hey,
listen, let me make it upto you by having my kid do your
kid's chores. Your kids in acast. Now he's he will do all
your all your chores. He willget the bad pan for sunnyh Yeah.
He will have to give him hisjello. Yeah, you know, like
(23:30):
I would. I would make himdo that, you know what I mean?
Community still give Sunny his depositories.Yeah, he has heat sunny Ship
out of his ass and he spitit in the toilet. Yeah, you
cannot be trusted around other kids.So if you ever want to hang out
with another kid, they have tocome over here, you know, when
(23:52):
you're not law in any room tolock and like closes. See. But
this was a case where it happenedat school on the playground. I would
hope that my like severity towards theirpunishment at home would kind of encourage them
to not fuck a rhynd as theyhave fine eye, I suppose, yeah,
taking away obviously, like yeah,taking away their little I know my
kid wouldn't have an iPad, butlike taking away their Superintendo and they're a
(24:15):
little emulated Raspberry pies. They can'tplay like games, you know. And
yeah, and maybe their favorite Crashbandicoot stuff the animal take that away from
them too, the one who wantedfrom the cloud machine. Yeah, take
that away. You can't sleep withcrash night. Yeah, that goes to
Sammy a bit, like you shouldhave been nice. Maybe you should have
ripped open that kid's leg. Idon't know, true. Yeah, that
(24:37):
that is terrifying, though I've neverhad something that severe happened in my body.
You broken arm, didn't you?Uh? No, I fractured my
jaw and I fractured my wrist,not broke, though. Fracturing and breaking
in the same are they. Yeah, when you fracture something, it's not
snapped in half, but there it'sbroken, so it's still broken. I
(25:00):
guess my mindset was always like Ican't say I broken arm, I fractured
it. I learned that in sportsmedicine in high school. I think you
told it, but really quickly.I was at like a summer sports camp
and I was the goalie and Iblocked like I kicked from a football,
and I like hit my hand andlike bant it backwards, and like I
was in a cast for all summer. And then another time we were on
(25:22):
a he saw it with my sisterand it was like tires under it.
So she like went dwing really hardand it like went against the tyre and
flipped me up in the air.And then I like curved all the way
around and bashed my jaw like themiddle. And so now whenever I like
opened my mouth too much, haveI done this? This feels familiar.
You have done this so gross?Anytime I opened my mouth, it doesn't
(25:42):
like's gross. Sometimes he yawns like, yeah, it looks like a saw
trap. It is like there's likea weird like you get like lock jaw
sometimes. Yes, that has nothappened in like a year or two,
but let's get it got annoying fora while. It happened really regularly for
a while where I would be likeeating something and as I had opened my
(26:04):
mind, my jaw would just likelock and I couldn't close it without like
having to like force it shut.It would really so when you close your
mouth naturally to your teeth align.No, but I think that's because of
my job. But you're also straightteeth. I have straight teeth. But
it's like it's like as if myjaw is kind of like shilted to the
side, you know, would youever get jaw surgery to correct it?
(26:26):
No? I don't care enough.What if it was like it's a story
for a podcast if it's what ifit's like, oh, Mark, if
you keep your jaw too much,you're gonna wear down the bone and eventually
we'll have to like install a metalplate to hold your job. If you've
got corrective jaw surgery, we couldjust do that. Now, I'd stay
sure then of course, well Iwouldn't do it. Here. I'd do
it Newland where it's free. Yeah, but you get a botched job.
(26:51):
It's free, but it's not.They don't They don't consider cosmetics. They
don't consider cosmetically making your face looknormal. They offered me the to get
surgery once for my chest I have. Here is a hole in his chest.
I don't know. He's got alittle hold. Yeah, it's like
a little a little like it's hissternam is is indented inwards, like my
(27:11):
rib key age is going inwards.It's just sternham it's right here. Yeah,
this part of your chest, itgoes inwards, it's like collapsed inwards.
And apparently my dad had it.And my dad told me this story,
which he has kept. Ronnick Getdenies that he's kept it consistent for
years on. And I went andI asked his mum about it, and
I went and asked his dad aboutit, and they both give the exact
(27:33):
Seame story, the exact Sime wherewhere he had that that chest problem.
But when he was a teenager hewent to like, you're a shaman.
A shaman like a gypsy is theword they use. But I don't think
you can say that anymore. Traveler. No, I don't know what it
was. They used the word gypsy. I don't know what that's referring to.
It could be a number of things. She apparently lay him nawn on
his back and then put like apint of like beer island in the hole
(28:00):
drinking up. No, not notlike the liquid, like the bottle,
the bottle on there are not thebottle but the cup, you know,
the pint, the pint cup onhis chest. And it said a magic
spell. And then there's probably someother details there. I'm missing it on
And then he said over time itjust grew back on it. So coincidence,
(28:21):
I think not. I think it'sa fun little story. They just
lied to you about it. Feelbetter? What were you were? Did
he did you? Were you there? Did you see it? Did you
see the hole in his chest?I guess it's almost as if it's made
up. I guess. Asked mydad. There's no fucking way in how
(28:41):
this bitch put a fucking beer bottlepint on your dad's chest and it just
like fixed itself, not immediately,but over time. There's no how how
did you fixed itself over time?But does that happen? I don't know.
I'm not old enough to have it'shappened to me yet apparently, but
I don't. I was offered surgeryto have it fixed, which is the
(29:03):
keys of the brick, your ribkeyage, I'm pretty sure. And they'll
like push it eye like they justthat's forcefully push it eye, and then
they get metal bars and they'll likedrill them into your bone, so would
the rib keyge stay is there.And then they keep those metal bars in
you for like a year or somethinglike that, and then they take it
(29:25):
eye. They have to go intoyour body and take out the fucking middle
bars and then your rib kage isall normal. But my mindset was always
like I'm sitting, I can breathe. You know, I'm not having any
trouble. I don't care that much. So I get and in my mind
it's always like I'm getting rid oflike one deformity of stars and a weird
like not even like decision line.Yeah it's not. It's not gonna look
(29:51):
cool. You would look cool,yeah you would. I don't know,
you look cool with like a battlescar on toe on your chest. I'll
I will get the surgery done wheneverI am physically dying whenever I cannot live
with physically dying at that point,just dying at this point, if I
can't live with I getting the surgery. I see what you mean. If
it's not life threatening, then what'sthe point and what's the point in doing
(30:12):
it at that point? It's justcosmetic. Yeah, yeah, it's just
so you could have like a normallooking chest, which you're not to say
that your chest looks not normal.That's not normal, but it's not.
It doesn't look it's not. Butfor me, it's not that noticeable.
It's not from a distance, especiallyor like a short distance, like if
you were across the room and Iwasn't wearing a shirt. It's the kind
of thing where if you're looking atme straight on, it just looks like
(30:33):
flight. Yeah, you couldn't tellat all. I remember Mark's best friend
Tom was telling me about this themouse dumbass, that right, and I
was like streaming, I think Iwas, Yeah, I was streaming,
and I was like, there's nofucking way Mark has a hole in his
chest, You liar, you're suchyou're so full of shit. And he's
like he does, he does.Wait, just you wait, Marshaton come
(30:55):
into chat and then you came inand you're like, oh, hey,
what's going on? And I waslike, Mark, Tom says, you
have a fucking hole in your chestand you're like, oh, yeah,
I do. I'm like, showme. He like put it like a
video on and he like had hisfist and like put it in the hole
in his chest. I was like, what the fuck. And then I
came to Ireland. I was like, you do have a hole in your
chest. The guys you're not likea joke about it in the Yeah,
(31:15):
okay, it's really yes, Mark, if you were to give any direction
for a Donkey Kong movie, whatwould it be Because they're making new Donkey
Kong stuff, dude, Okay,I was telling Mark. Mark was like,
oh, this guy on Twitter wholike leaked Sonic stuff before, and
(31:36):
was like, correct, is leakingnew stuff about the Nintendo direct Yeah?
And I was like, oh interesting. And he's like he's hinting that there's
gonna be a new Donkey Kong game. And I was like, I bet
you anything, if it's a DonkeyKong game, it's gonna be a Donkey
Kong and Mario game. It's notgoing to just be a Donkey Kong game,
you don't care. You thought theywere adding him to like Mario wonder
Yeah. I was like, oh, are they going to bring him into
(31:56):
Mario one, like the new MarioWonderland. Wonder it's like the one with
Peach and Daisy in them, thatone Mario Wonderland. So I was like,
I was thinking it was either somethinglike that, or it was going
to be the case where it's likeTropical Freeze but it's Mario and Donkey Kong
instead, where it's like a sidescrolling three D platformer, scrolling three D
(32:19):
platform, Yeah, that's what DonkeyKong Tropical GPS. Yeah, yeah,
it's a side scrolling three D platform. Actually, that proper term is two
point five Dan, There's no suchthing as a two point five dimension,
so you're fucking stupid. But Ipersonally think the best kind of Donkey Kong
game would be one where it's kindof like any like a more fleshed out
(32:43):
version of one of the bosses ineither don ke Kong Country one or don
Kuyong Country two, Like I reallywant like that pirate theme back, and
like Diddy Kong being like more ofa main character and being more of like
the main and protagonist rather than DonkeyKong per se would be cooler, just
honestly. And then David Wise comingback with the music. But the music's
(33:06):
got to be jazzy. Can't belike Tropical Freeze where it's got really shit
music and it's still by David Wise, but it's still like, it's not
jazzy like it was in the firstthree games. He would give voice by
sethro Now, no, you saidmy Donkey Kong game, my perfect oh
movie, Oh my perfect Dong Yongmovie. Oh okay, I thought you
(33:27):
meant game. Never mind, Wellif the movie, I didn't. I
didn't realize you're talking about the moviemaking a movie. Sorry, cut all
that out. Okay, Donkey Kong, this change is everything. Okay,
Donkey Kong movie is the story offucking Donkey Kong getting his God Damn Banana's
back. That's the whole point ofthe first game. Why can't we have
it as a movie. Why can'twe have the introduction as King k Rule
(33:49):
as the enemy? You know whatI mean? It would be him going
about the mushroom Kingdom. It wouldbe it would be it would be him
at the Mushroom Kingdom, like he'sliving at the Mushroom Kingdom helping Mario,
like maybe some bullshit like that,or maybe it would be like before Mario
answered the Mushroom Kingdom, like therewas Donkey Kong Kong and it would be
him hanging around in the Mushroom Kingdom, or it would be a thing where
(34:10):
it's like, oh, Donkey Kong'sancestors used to kidnap Princess Peach's ancestors and
you know, to him having tonothing. I don't want to be like
you did. I want to bea party, rocking, awesome ape man.
I want to be a singer.I don't want to be a son
(34:30):
directly follows each other, but youknow what I mean, Like I would
want the Donkey Kong movie to beabout Donkey Kong Country one, and the
simplest idea for the plot is DonkeyKong wants his fucking Banana's back and he
wants King k Roll off his goddamnisland. Okay, but here's the biggest
question. Now, who voices KingCarol and who voices did He Kong?
(34:52):
Did he Kong? Michael Sarah?No, did he Kong? That's tough.
I never really imagined a voice forDiddy Kong, even though he has
a voice from the original series.Yeah, would you think of it's something
like the original series. I Iif I could have things my way,
and if this is impossible, butI would have the voice actress who did
the voice of Tales in the animatedlike old Sonic series, the Sonic the
(35:16):
Hedgehog series, really her. Yeah, I'd have her as Diddy because I
would be kind of good. AndDonkey Kong. I would have the Donkey
Kong from the fucking animated series,the mo Cap animated series. He is
the best Donkey Kong. What aboutKing k Rule? King k Rule,
he's the best don Kong because he'scalled Clancy Brown. Clancy Brown. Yeahs
(35:37):
Krabs, not mister Krabs, butdoing a Clancy Brown. I just feel
like would do a good King kRule. That would be good. It
wouldn't be him. That would besomeone like Keith David or not Keith David,
what's his name. It would belike Eadris Elba or someone like that.
You know, it has to besomebody who is who has a very
posh, poised type voice but canalso be performative comedically with it, you
(36:05):
know what I mean, and notin like an annoying way, Like I
feel like, I feel like themo Cap animated series a really good like
comparison to that. King k Ruleis like the werewolf from Scary Godmother.
If you guys remember Scary Godmother,you remember the Werewolf where he's like,
oh, hello, oh, andhe's like, oh, he's very like
(36:28):
over the top over zealous, likeextremely extra. That's kind of how King
k Rule is, and that kindof like trope where it's like a posh
guy but he's kind of like,oh, everything awful happens to me?
Oh, why is me? Andthen falls over and farts in his hand
and like fucking smells it. Youknow, that's just it's just nonsense,
right exactly. It's just nonsense.And so I feel like that's how they're
(36:50):
going to do King k Rule ifthey did. But my version would be
a version where it's like sophisticated yetfunny and you're like, you appreciate the
performance where other than the gag,you know, I feel like they were
trying to go for that and Buyserare with Buyser in the original movie where
it's like in the Maria movie.It was more tasteful though, where yeah,
where he's like kind of you're meantto find him cool. They don't
(37:14):
like make him a joke, butthey still just kind of play him comedically.
But that movie just doesn't have thebest writing, so they don't pull
it off very well. Also,yeah, that movie is not it's not
really heavily based on personality. Yeahreally at all. It's just like the
empty character. Yeah, like,oh he wants Peach, so yeah,
he wants to help Peach. Ohyeah that was a sorry think you met
(37:37):
memorial. Yeah, he's just like, oh he has a crush. That's
the extent of his personality. Wedon't actually really see much of it him
wanting Peach exactly. But I feellike if they did something where it was
King k Rule, like King kRule has to have a personality because he
has to have like a motivation,right, Crystal Coconut, Your general thesis
(37:58):
is if they were to make aDonkeyng movie, it couldn't be structured or
written or even visually look like theMario movie. It would have to be
its own thing. It would haveto be its It have to be its
own thing. It have to bereally dark. You would want to be
Donkey Kong Country the movie. Yes, I would want it to be Donkey
on Country the movie, because thatwould be a Donkey Kong movie, you
know what I mean. If youcould have any movie for Donkey Kong based
(38:22):
off of any of the games,and it would be Donkey on Country,
of course, but I would evengo as far as to say Donkey Konga
would be a good one. Alot of the bosses and Donkey Konga or
Donkeykong Jungle Beat both sick. Yes, they look fucking cool. If it
were a thing where it was likeDonkey Kong having to like use fucking awesome,
(38:44):
fucking banana slam and powers and allthe ware hog looking one. Yeah,
that one was really sick. Itwas so cool because I love that
as a kid, because donk Kongis already so big, but when you're
in like the one v one andfights, they're like they make yes,
yeah, but it's not like overlybig to where they're like unreasonable. She's
(39:06):
like, holy shit, they're fuckingAnd then seeing the amount of bananas that
you get from beating them. Ialways like that that. I loved the
fucking bananas dude, they never whatever. Whatever. I'm not going to get
into the Mary movie. That's whatever. Guys. Wasn't that a fun filled
podcast episode of donkey kongs and scarymovies and creepy pastasig movies and tails doll.
(39:27):
Tune in next time when we're gonnabe drawing. We have the most
perfect turn turner. That's not it'snot a podcast. Yeah, we're gonna
plot some more experimental videos like likewe said last week, but then we
got busy. I think we shoulddo a vlog of us going to Universal.
Sure film, yeah film. Soguys, thanks for watching. Be
(39:51):
sure to light comment and subscribe.But also baba booie