July 10, 2023 • 20 mins
In part three of the Men Loving Well four-part series, Dr. Jim Slaughter explores how to make your wife feel equal, drawing from Genesis 1:26-29 and 1 Peter 3:7. Learn to set aside ego, listen actively, respect her judgment, and make decisions together to foster a thriving, faith-filled marriage. Discover biblical principles for treating your wife as an equal partner. Tune in to strengthen your relationship! #MenLovingWell #EqualityInMarriage #ChristianMarriage
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https://www.drjimslaughter.com/
https://www.menlovingwell.com/
https://www.lifesolutionscoachingandcounseling.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.jimslaughter
Be sure to like and subscribe to my social media page.
https://www.facebook.com/lovingwellshow/
Don't forget to check out Dr. Jim Slaughter's Book - MASTER THE ANGER WITHIN:
http://www.dpztechnology.com/store.html#!/Jim-Slaughter/c/128630254
Visit Dr. Jim Slaughter's websites at:
https://www.drjimslaughter.com/
https://www.menlovingwell.com/
https://www.lifesolutionscoachingandcounseling.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.jimslaughter
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Grace and Truth. Radio dot Worldproudly presents life coaching for men improving their
relationships with their wives and learning tocommunicate for a more fulfilling and satisfying marriage.
And now men Loving Wealth with Christiancounselor, author and relationship coach,
doctor Jim Slaughter. Hello, everyone, welcome to part three of this four
(00:27):
part series about principles for loving ourwives well husbands. This is especially for
you, and it's also for me. It took me a long time,
probably decades to think through these principlesand just am really having a great time
sharing them with you. Principal numberone Part one was make her feel loved.
Part two make her feel Safe.The title of part three is make
(00:51):
her feel Equal. Now, theremay be a lot of questions you may
have about this, but I'm goingto focus in on something in particular that
I think is crucial for us tounderstand when we're talking about how to make
our wives feel really loved and verycherished. As we look at the topic
today, it's really important to havea biblical foundation under our feet. I
(01:11):
mean that's always the case, Iknow that, but in taking up this
topic, I think it's especially important. So I want to begin by going
back to the beginning, to God'screation of the first man and the first
woman. We're going to talk aboutthe equality between the husband and the wife,
the man and the woman, andI'll explain what I mean by that
(01:33):
as the scriptures, we'll just followit through Genesis won twenty six through twenty
nine, and this is what weread. Then God said, let us
make mankind in our image, afterour likeness, so they may rule over
the fish of the sea and thebirds of the air, over the cattle,
and over all the earth, andover all the creatures that move on
(01:56):
the earth. God created mankind inhis own image, in the image of
God. He created them male andfemale. He created them. God blessed
them and said to them, befruitful and multiply fill the earth and subdue
it. Rule over the fish ofthe sea and the birds of the air,
and every creature that moves on theground. Then God said, I
(02:20):
now give you every seed bearing planton the face of the entire earth,
and every tree that has fruitless seedin it. They will be yours for
food. Now, I want youto note that both the male and the
female are made in God's image afterGod's likeness. The plural pronouns they and
(02:40):
them that follow the statements in thepassage we read make this point clear.
Both the man and the woman shareGod's image and likeness. The word image
in verse twenty six is used ofthings like statues and models, and we
might say images or even picture.Sometimes essentially it means replicas. In more,
(03:02):
the idea of a model or astatue. Likeness is from the word
that means just that, to belike or to resemble something or someone.
But God has no human form right, but humans share in his nature,
his life, his personality, theideas of truth, in fact, the
(03:23):
realities of truth and wisdom, andlove and holiness. Image of God would
then be the God given mental andspiritual capacities that enable people like you and
me to relate to God and toserve Him by ruling over the creation.
As you might say vice regents.Both the male and the female have God
(03:49):
likeness and personality. The female versetwenty seven is made in God's image and
likeness, and so as her husband. She is blessed in verse twenty eight,
and so is her husband. Shereceives the same command, be fruitful
and multiply fill the earth and subdueit. She receives the same authority rule
(04:10):
over the fish of the sea,the birds of the air, and every
creature that moves on the ground versetwenty eight. She receives the same gifts
every seed bearing plant and every treethat has fruitless seeds verse twenty nine.
She has made, we might say, an indispensable companion. The text really
says helper corresponding to him. Thisdoes not imply subordination. It doesn't say
(04:36):
anything about inferiority. The scriptures nevereven imply that. God often is called
helper himself, the one who doesfor us what we can't do for ourselves,
the one who meets our needs.And here that term he rereates her
connecto a helper corresponding to him.Here the term is used of the woman.
(04:59):
She will apply the man what islacking in him in the design of
creation. He will supply what she'slacking. The obvious example would be the
bearing of children, be fruitful andmultiply, God says, But that's not
the only thing. There are manymany other things that the woman supplies that
the man lacks, and vice versa. What the man supplies that the woman
lacks and I want to talk aboutthat today. Adam responds in a kind
(05:25):
of two sided response. He says, finally, this now, at last
is bone of my bones and fleshof my flesh. She shall be called
woman, for she was taken outof man Genesis to twenty three. Now
there's something in this may be ofthe frustration that Adam must have had in
(05:46):
trying to name the animals. Youimagine God bringing the animals on the earth,
the different kinds of animals before Adamand says, I want you to
name these, Adam, you namethem. And Adam goes through the whole
process naming these animals and even findone just like himself. Now his frustration,
perhaps with that is over, hemust have been delated also and relieved
(06:10):
at God's gift of one who isperfectly corresponding to him, we could say,
one who fits him perfectly. Adamis not naming the woman here.
He is observing her close relationship tohim and referring to her according to that.
He may be anticipating that she willbe given an appropriate name based on
(06:31):
the discernible similarity. In Genesis threetwenty Adam will name his wife Eve,
which means life, giver. Thelanguage of the Hebrew text reveals the equality
of the woman to the man.Physically, in the broad sense, of
course, she has a human form. But spiritually and emotionally, and to
(06:51):
a certain extent mentally, she's likeGod, and so is the man.
In the New Testament, the apostlePeter emphasizes to husbands how serious it is
if they fail to treat their wiveshonorably, respectfully, and with deference as
spiritual equals in God's eyes. Andhere we move from Genesis over to what
(07:14):
Peter talks about in his first letter, First Peter three to seven. I'm
going to give you a couple oftranslations here. The first one is going
to be more literal. The secondis, well, it's really just as
literally, except it just says itin a different way. The first one
is this, husbands, Peter says, in the same way, live with
(07:36):
your wives according to biblical principles,rendering honor to the weaker feminine partner as
being heirs together with you of thegracious gift of eternal life, so that
your prayers may not be hindered.And here's another way of saying it,
Okay, husbands, in the sameway, treat your wives with consideration as
(07:58):
the weaker partners, and show themhonor as fellow heirs of the grace of
life. In this way, nothingwill hinder your prayers. Now, Peter
does something interesting here. He's reallyexhorting men, the husbands, to treat
their wives well, and he addsat the end that the reason they should
(08:18):
is because they are fellow heirs ofthe grace of life. We could say,
perhaps even eternal life. These arefellow journeyers, fellow fellows on a
journey together towards heaven, if youwant to look at it that way.
And I want you to underscore inyour mind, guys, especially the last
part of this verse, as Iread at first, so that your prayers
(08:41):
won't be hindered. The apostle addsa warning to his instruction to husbands.
It could be that my prayers willbe held up in some way. In
the Roman era, this word wasused of an army destroying a road behind
them to slow down a pursuing enemy. So maybe my prayers will be slowed
(09:01):
down, or maybe the answer tomy prayers will be just longer in coming,
maybe they won't be answered at allat any rate. I don't want
to take a chance. I wantto treat my wife as an equal,
showing her respect and deference and honor, even when she may be upset or
irritable, because I don't want anythingcoming between God and me. And besides,
(09:24):
my wife deserves the same honor andrespect and deference that I would like
for myself. Guys, your wifeis the one who corresponds to you,
the one who fits you perfectly.She's your coequal on the journey to heaven.
So make her feel equal. First, make your wife feel equal by
(09:45):
get this putting your ego on theshelf. Put your ego on the shelf.
The Apostle Paul is clear when hewrites, don't think of yourself more
highly than you ought to think Romanstwelfth three. For example, don't always
think you have the best idea.Don't always think you have to be right
just because you're the man. Don'talways have to have things your way.
(10:09):
Don't think your preferences are better thanhers. In other words, get over
yourself and realize your wife is hereto help you. You should let her.
Here's just a second way to makeyour wife feel equal. Make her
feel equal by listening to her Theway I look at it is this,
(10:30):
Remember the adage that we were taughtwhen we were liking I don't know,
the first grade or something, whenwe were trying to cross the street and
we were told to stop, lookand listen. That's a pretty good way
to think in terms of listening toour wives. I think, stop what
you're doing, put your phone down, turn your laptop around or turn it
off, turn off the TV.Stop what you're doing. Look, look
(10:54):
her in the eye, give hersome focused attention. Look or in the
eye. Stop, look, andthen listen to what she's saying. You
know, sometimes husbands aren't very goodat this, are we, But it
may be the very one thing yourwife needs most from you. Our wives
along for this kind of connection withus. But it's more than just what
she says. It's what she means, and that's the hard part. The
(11:18):
meaning behind the words is crucial.So you look for emotions in her eyes
and body language. Are there tearsor tight muscles, frown or maybe a
smile To help understand what she means, respond to her with some brief statements
or questions. For example, she'stalking to you and you've stopped and you're
(11:39):
looking at her, and you're seekingto understand and hear the words behind her
words, and so you may saysomething like, help me understand what you
mean by xyz whatever it was,Or you might say something like, what
happened? Then keep going? Youseem upset? What's happened? Well,
(12:01):
that's a great idea. Where doyou think we should start with that?
That had to feel really bad.I'm so sorry they treated you that way.
It seems like she's drawn to you. Is this someone you'd like to
be friends with? Or sometimes youjust say how can I help? Active
(12:22):
listening like this, which is whatthis is. This is called active listening,
responding, replying, interacting that helpsus get to the meaning behind the
words. It creates a deep connectionthat a wife needs from her husband.
When you listen carefully to her plansor ideas or dreams, you're honoring her
and treating her as you're equal.Number three, Make your wife feel equal
(12:48):
by being willing to follow her advice. This is hard for guys. Sometimes
make her feel equal by being willingto follow her advice. Sometimes guys don't
feel like they're in the home insome way if they aren't. Always give
me advice and expecting their wives tofollow theirs. Guys, we need to
(13:09):
realize that often our wives had betterideas than we do, especially in areas
where they're gifted and talented or skilled. Genesis twenty one. It's just an
incredible passage at verse sixteen, andone of my professors a long time ago
brought this to my attention when wewere talking about this. In Genesis twenty
one, Abraham had become distressed becauseof the rivalry between his sons Ishmael and
(13:33):
Isaac and between their mothers Hagar andSarah. There was deep resentment there.
Abraham and Sarah disagreed about what todo. Then God says shockingly in a
way to Abraham verse sixteen, listento whatever Sarah tells you and do it.
Here God tells Abraham directly to listento his wife and do what she
(13:56):
says. God is telling him tofollow his wife's advice. This is very
important for us to hear, becausethere are times our wife knows better than
we do what to do. Trytaking her advice. Do it her way,
don't argue, don't try to win, just follow her lead. Say
okay, let's try that. Nomatter how things turn out, your wife
(14:20):
will appreciate that you trusted her andtreated her as you're equal. Number four,
Make your wife feel equal by makingdecisions together. Husbands aren't the only
ones who have a head on theirshoulders to think with. Our wives have
one too. We should include ourwives in every major family decision, and
(14:43):
in most of the smaller ones aswell. We decide together where to live,
whether to move. We decide togetherhow many children to have. We
create a budget together. We decidetogether on major purchases. We consult each
other on new job opportunities. Insultone another. We don't just come home
(15:03):
one day and announce I've accepted ajob in Florida and We're moving to Orlando.
We talk about these things and wedecide together what's the best thing to
do. We should respect our wivesand expect them to have important input for
us. When we decide not topush our own agenda, but are committed
to working together to make the bestdecision for the best outcomes, we will
(15:26):
be a healthier, happier, andmore successful couple. Be aware there may
be times when two people have togive up on their own ideas though,
and seek a workable compromise. Compromiseis not a bad word if we use
it in the right way. Capturingthe middle ground can be important, sometimes
identifying an acceptable alternative. Sometimes it'swhat we have to do. We must
(15:50):
find it or risk lingering resentment.And I told you so's number five.
Make your I feel equal by showingher rspect respect. Following up on our
earlier point, we should respect ourwife's judgment. She does actually have a
(16:11):
fixed sense about things. Because we'reguys. Husbands get caught in those linear,
compartmentalized boxes that can be really limitingin the way we think. It's
the way our brains are designed,and sometimes they serve us really, really
well, but not always. Yourwife's brain isn't confined like that. She
(16:33):
thinks comprehensively, not compartmentally, bringinga myriad of experiences from the past and
present to bear on problems that needssolving. It can be information she pulls
up from years ago, mostly experientialand for all kinds of sources, something
that happened in her own family,growing up, in grade school, junior
high, something at work, somethingabout raising kids. All kinds of information
(16:57):
from all kinds of sources pulled outof her subconscious mind to help solve a
problem. Her hunches are almost alwaysrazor sharp and much more on target than
ours our guys. She may noteven know where they come from. These
hunches of hers. There's just ahunch, but often it's the answer to
the problem, and so we needto listen up. We should never ignore
(17:19):
our wife's hunches or treat them lightly. God gives them to her to help
us think better. So we loveour wife better when we treat her as
an equal, a major principle fordeveloping relationship and coupleness. We do it
by respecting her judgment. It's abig part of our respect for her overall.
(17:44):
Here's some other important things I thinkto consider about respecting our wives.
We should put these in the formof a resolution. Resolved. I will
not demean my wife, belittle her, or make her feel small. I
will only speak well of her toothers. Are you listening? These are
so important? Resolved. I willnot joke about her or make her feel
(18:10):
foolish. Resolved. I will notembarrass her by using vulgar language or by
telling coarse jokes. Resolved. Iwill not require of her anything anything that
would make her feel shame or guilt. Resolved. I will at all times
treat her like a lady. Guys, if I'm going to love my wife
(18:33):
well, I will make her feelequal by treating her that way. I
will respect her judgment, her opinions, and her hunches. I will put
my eagle on the shelf and reallylisten to her. I'll give her a
voice and be willing to take heradvice in both public and private. I
will give her the respect she deservesas my indispensable companion, the helper who
(18:57):
fits me perfectly, and my fellowheir of the grace of eternal life.
(19:32):
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Grace and Truth. Radio dot Worldproudly presents life coaching for men improving their
relationships with their wives and learning tocommunicate for a more fulfilling and satisfying marriage.
And now men Loving Wealth with Christiancounselor, author and relationship coach,
doctor Jim Slaughter. Hello, everyone, welcome to part three of this four
(00:27):
part series about principles for loving ourwives well husbands. This is especially for
you, and it's also for me. It took me a long time,
probably decades to think through these principlesand just am really having a great time
sharing them with you. Principal numberone Part one was make her feel loved.
Part two make her feel Safe.The title of part three is make
(00:51):
her feel Equal. Now, theremay be a lot of questions you may
have about this, but I'm goingto focus in on something in particular that
I think is crucial for us tounderstand when we're talking about how to make
our wives feel really loved and verycherished. As we look at the topic
today, it's really important to havea biblical foundation under our feet. I
(01:11):
mean that's always the case, Iknow that, but in taking up this
topic, I think it's especially important. So I want to begin by going
back to the beginning, to God'screation of the first man and the first
woman. We're going to talk aboutthe equality between the husband and the wife,
the man and the woman, andI'll explain what I mean by that
(01:33):
as the scriptures, we'll just followit through Genesis won twenty six through twenty
nine, and this is what weread. Then God said, let us
make mankind in our image, afterour likeness, so they may rule over
the fish of the sea and thebirds of the air, over the cattle,
and over all the earth, andover all the creatures that move on
(01:56):
the earth. God created mankind inhis own image, in the image of
God. He created them male andfemale. He created them. God blessed
them and said to them, befruitful and multiply fill the earth and subdue
it. Rule over the fish ofthe sea and the birds of the air,
and every creature that moves on theground. Then God said, I
(02:20):
now give you every seed bearing planton the face of the entire earth,
and every tree that has fruitless seedin it. They will be yours for
food. Now, I want youto note that both the male and the
female are made in God's image afterGod's likeness. The plural pronouns they and
(02:40):
them that follow the statements in thepassage we read make this point clear.
Both the man and the woman shareGod's image and likeness. The word image
in verse twenty six is used ofthings like statues and models, and we
might say images or even picture.Sometimes essentially it means replicas. In more,
(03:02):
the idea of a model or astatue. Likeness is from the word
that means just that, to belike or to resemble something or someone.
But God has no human form right, but humans share in his nature,
his life, his personality, theideas of truth, in fact, the
(03:23):
realities of truth and wisdom, andlove and holiness. Image of God would
then be the God given mental andspiritual capacities that enable people like you and
me to relate to God and toserve Him by ruling over the creation.
As you might say vice regents.Both the male and the female have God
(03:49):
likeness and personality. The female versetwenty seven is made in God's image and
likeness, and so as her husband. She is blessed in verse twenty eight,
and so is her husband. Shereceives the same command, be fruitful
and multiply fill the earth and subdueit. She receives the same authority rule
(04:10):
over the fish of the sea,the birds of the air, and every
creature that moves on the ground versetwenty eight. She receives the same gifts
every seed bearing plant and every treethat has fruitless seeds verse twenty nine.
She has made, we might say, an indispensable companion. The text really
says helper corresponding to him. Thisdoes not imply subordination. It doesn't say
(04:36):
anything about inferiority. The scriptures nevereven imply that. God often is called
helper himself, the one who doesfor us what we can't do for ourselves,
the one who meets our needs.And here that term he rereates her
connecto a helper corresponding to him.Here the term is used of the woman.
(04:59):
She will apply the man what islacking in him in the design of
creation. He will supply what she'slacking. The obvious example would be the
bearing of children, be fruitful andmultiply, God says, But that's not
the only thing. There are manymany other things that the woman supplies that
the man lacks, and vice versa. What the man supplies that the woman
lacks and I want to talk aboutthat today. Adam responds in a kind
(05:25):
of two sided response. He says, finally, this now, at last
is bone of my bones and fleshof my flesh. She shall be called
woman, for she was taken outof man Genesis to twenty three. Now
there's something in this may be ofthe frustration that Adam must have had in
(05:46):
trying to name the animals. Youimagine God bringing the animals on the earth,
the different kinds of animals before Adamand says, I want you to
name these, Adam, you namethem. And Adam goes through the whole
process naming these animals and even findone just like himself. Now his frustration,
perhaps with that is over, hemust have been delated also and relieved
(06:10):
at God's gift of one who isperfectly corresponding to him, we could say,
one who fits him perfectly. Adamis not naming the woman here.
He is observing her close relationship tohim and referring to her according to that.
He may be anticipating that she willbe given an appropriate name based on
(06:31):
the discernible similarity. In Genesis threetwenty Adam will name his wife Eve,
which means life, giver. Thelanguage of the Hebrew text reveals the equality
of the woman to the man.Physically, in the broad sense, of
course, she has a human form. But spiritually and emotionally, and to
(06:51):
a certain extent mentally, she's likeGod, and so is the man.
In the New Testament, the apostlePeter emphasizes to husbands how serious it is
if they fail to treat their wiveshonorably, respectfully, and with deference as
spiritual equals in God's eyes. Andhere we move from Genesis over to what
(07:14):
Peter talks about in his first letter, First Peter three to seven. I'm
going to give you a couple oftranslations here. The first one is going
to be more literal. The secondis, well, it's really just as
literally, except it just says itin a different way. The first one
is this, husbands, Peter says, in the same way, live with
(07:36):
your wives according to biblical principles,rendering honor to the weaker feminine partner as
being heirs together with you of thegracious gift of eternal life, so that
your prayers may not be hindered.And here's another way of saying it,
Okay, husbands, in the sameway, treat your wives with consideration as
(07:58):
the weaker partners, and show themhonor as fellow heirs of the grace of
life. In this way, nothingwill hinder your prayers. Now, Peter
does something interesting here. He's reallyexhorting men, the husbands, to treat
their wives well, and he addsat the end that the reason they should
(08:18):
is because they are fellow heirs ofthe grace of life. We could say,
perhaps even eternal life. These arefellow journeyers, fellow fellows on a
journey together towards heaven, if youwant to look at it that way.
And I want you to underscore inyour mind, guys, especially the last
part of this verse, as Iread at first, so that your prayers
(08:41):
won't be hindered. The apostle addsa warning to his instruction to husbands.
It could be that my prayers willbe held up in some way. In
the Roman era, this word wasused of an army destroying a road behind
them to slow down a pursuing enemy. So maybe my prayers will be slowed
(09:01):
down, or maybe the answer tomy prayers will be just longer in coming,
maybe they won't be answered at allat any rate. I don't want
to take a chance. I wantto treat my wife as an equal,
showing her respect and deference and honor, even when she may be upset or
irritable, because I don't want anythingcoming between God and me. And besides,
(09:24):
my wife deserves the same honor andrespect and deference that I would like
for myself. Guys, your wifeis the one who corresponds to you,
the one who fits you perfectly.She's your coequal on the journey to heaven.
So make her feel equal. First, make your wife feel equal by
(09:45):
get this putting your ego on theshelf. Put your ego on the shelf.
The Apostle Paul is clear when hewrites, don't think of yourself more
highly than you ought to think Romanstwelfth three. For example, don't always
think you have the best idea.Don't always think you have to be right
just because you're the man. Don'talways have to have things your way.
(10:09):
Don't think your preferences are better thanhers. In other words, get over
yourself and realize your wife is hereto help you. You should let her.
Here's just a second way to makeyour wife feel equal. Make her
feel equal by listening to her Theway I look at it is this,
(10:30):
Remember the adage that we were taughtwhen we were liking I don't know,
the first grade or something, whenwe were trying to cross the street and
we were told to stop, lookand listen. That's a pretty good way
to think in terms of listening toour wives. I think, stop what
you're doing, put your phone down, turn your laptop around or turn it
off, turn off the TV.Stop what you're doing. Look, look
(10:54):
her in the eye, give hersome focused attention. Look or in the
eye. Stop, look, andthen listen to what she's saying. You
know, sometimes husbands aren't very goodat this, are we, But it
may be the very one thing yourwife needs most from you. Our wives
along for this kind of connection withus. But it's more than just what
she says. It's what she means, and that's the hard part. The
(11:18):
meaning behind the words is crucial.So you look for emotions in her eyes
and body language. Are there tearsor tight muscles, frown or maybe a
smile To help understand what she means, respond to her with some brief statements
or questions. For example, she'stalking to you and you've stopped and you're
(11:39):
looking at her, and you're seekingto understand and hear the words behind her
words, and so you may saysomething like, help me understand what you
mean by xyz whatever it was,Or you might say something like, what
happened? Then keep going? Youseem upset? What's happened? Well,
(12:01):
that's a great idea. Where doyou think we should start with that?
That had to feel really bad.I'm so sorry they treated you that way.
It seems like she's drawn to you. Is this someone you'd like to
be friends with? Or sometimes youjust say how can I help? Active
(12:22):
listening like this, which is whatthis is. This is called active listening,
responding, replying, interacting that helpsus get to the meaning behind the
words. It creates a deep connectionthat a wife needs from her husband.
When you listen carefully to her plansor ideas or dreams, you're honoring her
and treating her as you're equal.Number three, Make your wife feel equal
(12:48):
by being willing to follow her advice. This is hard for guys. Sometimes
make her feel equal by being willingto follow her advice. Sometimes guys don't
feel like they're in the home insome way if they aren't. Always give
me advice and expecting their wives tofollow theirs. Guys, we need to
(13:09):
realize that often our wives had betterideas than we do, especially in areas
where they're gifted and talented or skilled. Genesis twenty one. It's just an
incredible passage at verse sixteen, andone of my professors a long time ago
brought this to my attention when wewere talking about this. In Genesis twenty
one, Abraham had become distressed becauseof the rivalry between his sons Ishmael and
(13:33):
Isaac and between their mothers Hagar andSarah. There was deep resentment there.
Abraham and Sarah disagreed about what todo. Then God says shockingly in a
way to Abraham verse sixteen, listento whatever Sarah tells you and do it.
Here God tells Abraham directly to listento his wife and do what she
(13:56):
says. God is telling him tofollow his wife's advice. This is very
important for us to hear, becausethere are times our wife knows better than
we do what to do. Trytaking her advice. Do it her way,
don't argue, don't try to win, just follow her lead. Say
okay, let's try that. Nomatter how things turn out, your wife
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will appreciate that you trusted her andtreated her as you're equal. Number four,
Make your wife feel equal by makingdecisions together. Husbands aren't the only
ones who have a head on theirshoulders to think with. Our wives have
one too. We should include ourwives in every major family decision, and
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in most of the smaller ones aswell. We decide together where to live,
whether to move. We decide togetherhow many children to have. We
create a budget together. We decidetogether on major purchases. We consult each
other on new job opportunities. Insultone another. We don't just come home
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one day and announce I've accepted ajob in Florida and We're moving to Orlando.
We talk about these things and wedecide together what's the best thing to
do. We should respect our wivesand expect them to have important input for
us. When we decide not topush our own agenda, but are committed
to working together to make the bestdecision for the best outcomes, we will
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be a healthier, happier, andmore successful couple. Be aware there may
be times when two people have togive up on their own ideas though,
and seek a workable compromise. Compromiseis not a bad word if we use
it in the right way. Capturingthe middle ground can be important, sometimes
identifying an acceptable alternative. Sometimes it'swhat we have to do. We must
(15:50):
find it or risk lingering resentment.And I told you so's number five.
Make your I feel equal by showingher rspect respect. Following up on our
earlier point, we should respect ourwife's judgment. She does actually have a
(16:11):
fixed sense about things. Because we'reguys. Husbands get caught in those linear,
compartmentalized boxes that can be really limitingin the way we think. It's
the way our brains are designed,and sometimes they serve us really, really
well, but not always. Yourwife's brain isn't confined like that. She
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thinks comprehensively, not compartmentally, bringinga myriad of experiences from the past and
present to bear on problems that needssolving. It can be information she pulls
up from years ago, mostly experientialand for all kinds of sources, something
that happened in her own family,growing up, in grade school, junior
high, something at work, somethingabout raising kids. All kinds of information
(16:57):
from all kinds of sources pulled outof her subconscious mind to help solve a
problem. Her hunches are almost alwaysrazor sharp and much more on target than
ours our guys. She may noteven know where they come from. These
hunches of hers. There's just ahunch, but often it's the answer to
the problem, and so we needto listen up. We should never ignore
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our wife's hunches or treat them lightly. God gives them to her to help
us think better. So we loveour wife better when we treat her as
an equal, a major principle fordeveloping relationship and coupleness. We do it
by respecting her judgment. It's abig part of our respect for her overall.
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Here's some other important things I thinkto consider about respecting our wives.
We should put these in the formof a resolution. Resolved. I will
not demean my wife, belittle her, or make her feel small. I
will only speak well of her toothers. Are you listening? These are
so important? Resolved. I willnot joke about her or make her feel
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foolish. Resolved. I will notembarrass her by using vulgar language or by
telling coarse jokes. Resolved. Iwill not require of her anything anything that
would make her feel shame or guilt. Resolved. I will at all times
treat her like a lady. Guys, if I'm going to love my wife
(18:33):
well, I will make her feelequal by treating her that way. I
will respect her judgment, her opinions, and her hunches. I will put
my eagle on the shelf and reallylisten to her. I'll give her a
voice and be willing to take heradvice in both public and private. I
will give her the respect she deservesas my indispensable companion, the helper who
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fits me perfectly, and my fellowheir of the grace of eternal life.
(19:32):
Life Solutions Coaching and Counseling and HasletTexas is a full service wellness clinic providing
individual, group and family counseling,one on one coaching for life and wellness
and naturopathic treatments of medical massage therapycombined with essential oils to ensure you reach
your health and wellness goals. Sessionsare available in person or by phone.
Get started on your new life today. Just call eight one seven two three
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two one three six three or goto Life Solutions Coaching and Counseling dot com
or email them at Life Solution CCat yahoo dot com.
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