Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, well, well, what do we have here? Did you
really think I wouldn't find you? Oh, sweet little human,
you have so much to learn about how this works.
Did you honestly believe you could just escape to some
(00:23):
other beach without me knowing? How did I find you? Oh?
That's adorable. You think this is just some coincidence that
I just happened to be taking a casual swim three
miles down the coast from my usual territory. Honey, I
(00:51):
got your synthm moment you hit the water this morning.
Did you forget what I am? I'm a shark shrucks
contract sentrails across a vast distances, and you you have
a very distinctive smell. Not that I'm complaining, it's actually
(01:15):
quite pleasant. Makes hunting you down almost too easy, even
with all these other humans around hunting you down? Well,
what else would you call it? You disappeared from my
territory without a word, without permission, and showed up here
(01:37):
instead in inferior waters. Might I add? Look, I've been
patrolling these coastlines for the past two hours looking for you.
Do you have any idea how much of my valuable
time you've wasted? Time? I could have spent doing much
(01:57):
more enjoyable things in my own territory. Worry, but I
have to admit I'm impressed you actually managed to avoid
my surveillance for what three whole days? That's longer than
most humans could manage, though not nearly long enough to
(02:17):
actually escape me. It's quite unfortunate that my sense of
smell is so terrible on land hm airs of the devil.
But hey, did you really think I wouldn't notice when
my designated human went missing from my waters that I
(02:40):
wouldn't care where you ended up? That's quite foolish. Don't
you think I should punish you for making me even
come over to this place? Just look at it. Generic beach,
(03:00):
overcrowded waters, no proper predator management whatsoever. This is what
you'd chose over my pristine territory. I'm almost insulted. After
everything I did to establish proper safety protocols for you,
you run off to swim with the Torus and weekend Warriors.
(03:25):
You wanted to try somewhere new. Oh, you wanted an adventure,
did you? Well? Congratulations you found one, though probably not
the kind you were expecting. Foolish human, Do you see
(03:49):
any any other apex predators keeping watch over these waters,
any territorial management, any safety standards, what's however, No, you don't,
because this is amateur hour compared to my domain. These
waters are free for all, and you you're swimming around
(04:14):
here like a lost little fish with no protection, just
like the rest of these people. But I don't want
to see you end up like the rest of these people.
You understand me, well, I've gotten rather attached to having
(04:34):
you in my territory, more attached than I initially planned. Actually, well,
it wasn't much of a plan. But when something just
kind of falls into your lap, well you gotta make
the best of it. But still, I've noticed it's been
(04:56):
surprisingly quiet without you around, boring even turns out having
a regular human to keep safe has become more entertaining
than I expected. More than hunting you guys down, that is,
this is an actual challenge. You missed me didn't seem
(05:22):
like it was you coming over here. But I missed
having someone to demonstrate my superior territorial management too. I
missed having a reason to patrol my waters with such dedication.
It's been a long time since I've had such fun.
(05:45):
And yes, if I'm being completely honest. It's nice to
know that I can assure someone's safety, to be able
to monitor a heartbeat and actually care about where their
heartbeats coming from, not just for a snack, but for protection.
(06:06):
I know that may sound weird to a person like you,
a human of all things, but to me and to
my kind, not wanting to eat you means a lot.
Though I bet you do taste delightful, but I won't
(06:26):
get too sentimental with you. The important thing is that
I found you, and now we can address this little
rebellion of yours. The fact that you actually managed to
slip away from my surveillance shows some real skill. You
know that. I'm not sure exactly whether I should be
(06:50):
annoyed or impressed. Most humans, they are so predictable, so
easy to try. I's but you, You actually made this
challenging for me. Do you know how rarely anything challenges
me anymore? You didn't mean to challenge me, Oh, but
(07:17):
you did. And the thing is, I kind of liked it.
The hunt, the tracking, figuring out your patterns. It's been
ages since I've had to work for something I wanted.
It's something I haven't realized that I've missed for so long.
(07:39):
You've reawakened something inside of me. But make no mistake,
I do want you back in my territory. Picking up
your scent from far away really excited me, And when
I did catch your scent trail, it made my heart
race a little faster than normal, And the thought of
(08:00):
you swimming and protected somewhere else away from me made
me feel very agitated in ways that went beyond simple
territorial concern. It seems h I think. I think I've
developed what humans might call a vested interest in your
(08:24):
well being, a very personal vested interest. Mm hmm. Yeah. See.
I have been thinking about this while I tracked you down,
about why I bothered to hunt you across multiple territories
instead of just letting you go. And I realized that
(08:47):
somewhere between fishing you out of my waters and establishing
all those safety protocols, you became much more than just
my responsibility. You became in a much more personal way
than I initially intended. What do I like about you?
(09:12):
The way your pulse quickens when I get close to you,
and the way you actually listen to when I gave
you instructions? Well, until today, anyway. But even your little
escape attempt just proves my point. You can't really stay
away from me, can you. You going into the water
(09:38):
is an invitation. This is like you stepping into my home.
To stay away from me means to stay away from
the water. I think you can do that. Oh, foolish yaman.
I don't believe a word you say, not in regards
(09:59):
to the not anyway. But you're cute for trying trying
to lie to me, very cute. You were really trying
to practice your swimming, weren't you. Now? Did you not
come back to me because you thought I was going
(10:20):
to judge you? Eh? Yeah, I probably would judge you,
but at least I would try to help you. It's
constructive criticism, you see. And I wouldn't be too bad. Yeah,
I wouldn't be too bad, not with you another human. Sure,
(10:43):
the humans around here, absolutely, but you. I've found myself
to be nicer to you, as shocking as that might seem.
But sharks are a little extra I think I should
say as a warning, just in case you end up
(11:07):
meeting another shark in your travels. We'll see about that though.
Now here's what's going to happen. You're coming back to
my territory with me right now. No more detours, no
more experiments with inferior beaches. And when we get back
(11:30):
to my waters, we're going to have a much more
thorough discussion about boundaries and about what it means to
be under my protection. What kind of discussion, don't be
so foolish. The kind where I make it very clear
(11:51):
that you belong in my territory, duh. Where I explain
exactly why you're not allowed to just wander off without
telling me. The kind where I demonstrate just how much
I've been looking forward to having you back where you belong,
where I can keep a proper eye on you, and
(12:12):
where I can finally address this growing attraction I've developed
for my favorite human. Sweetie. You're the only human I've
ever bothered to hunt down, the only one whose safety
has become this personal to me. Why you hum? That's
(12:40):
a very good question. Hmm. Let's think about this. Maybe
it's because you're actually a challenge. Maybe it's because you're
brave enough to keep coming back despite knowing exactly what
I am. I mean, look at me, and look at
(13:01):
all the beachgoers that are just staring at me, I'm
not really welcomed up top, you know, on land. Hmm.
Maybe it's because somewhere between saving you and protecting you,
I started to genuinely care about having you around. Even
though we haven't met much. I want to see more
(13:24):
of you, and not just as entertainment. Not entirely that is,
that's something more. The point is you've managed to capture
the interest of an apex predator in ways that go
far beyond simple territorial management. And now that I've found
(13:46):
you again, I'm not letting you slip away so easily.
So now that we're going to be heading back, let's
do a little update on the rules. Okay, First, no
more disappearing acts. If you want to explore other waters,
you ask me first. I might even escort you personally,
(14:07):
make sure you're safe. You know, think of this as
a privilege most humans never get to experience. Oh, I
can assure you wants humans catch a glimpse of me,
they'll never want to bother you again. Plus it gives
(14:28):
me an excuse to spend more time with you to
make sure you're following proper safety protocols. Of course, second rule,
you check in with me regularly. When you're in my territory.
I want to know where you are, what you're doing,
how you feel. Stuff like that for safety purposes, of course,
(14:50):
And I enjoy your company. You have this way of
looking at me that makes me feel appreciate it, like
I'm something more than just a shark with a bunch
of teeth. Oh, you do see me as more good
(15:12):
because I see you the same way, all of you.
The way you try to hide, how much you enjoy
my attention especially, and the way you're breathing changes when
I get close, The way you keep coming back to
my territory even when it would be safer to stay away.
(15:34):
You're drawn to me, aren't you, just like I'm drawn
to you? Clearly. I mean if I wasn't, I wouldn't
be in this foreign territory trying to get you to
come back. So here's the deal. You're mine now, not
(15:56):
just my responsibility, not just my territorial concern, but mine
in every way that matters, my human to protect, to
care for, to treasure. And I promise you this, now
that I know how much I've missed having you around,
I'm never letting you escape again. You belong with me
(16:20):
where I can keep a close eye on you and
keep you safe. Welcome back into my clutches, my lucive
little human. Let's make sure you never feel the need
to run away again. Now, hop on my back, let's
(16:40):
get out of here.