Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers & Frankenhooker

We’re exploring the seedy underworld of chainsaw welding and sometimes undead hookers. First up, we really want to join a chainsaw-worshipping cult in HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS. Then, we find out what it’s like to be put back together and still looking for a date in FRANKENHOOKER.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:14):
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Speaker 1 (00:37):
Drive away your worries and cares at this drive in theater.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
That's why.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
To familiarize you with the movie rating symbols which will
be used.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
By this theater, we present the following guide for parents
and young people.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
X No one under seventeen admitted.

Speaker 4 (00:56):
Even here. Tell you, okay, it's just really quiet. By quiet,
I mean just not saying anything.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
Oh yeah, we know what the word quiet means.

Speaker 4 (01:10):
Brian, Well, no, I just meant it wasn't It wasn't
that your MIC's aren't working. Oh that's that nobody's talking.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
Well we had all our conversation before you got here, so.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
Well that's the problem.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, to fill you in, I said, where is Brian
and Noah said, I don't know those.

Speaker 5 (01:33):
It a conversation complete.

Speaker 4 (01:36):
Trying to get your cat to stop a rubbin on
my microphone.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
It feels like it ought to be in you anddo
but I don't think it is.

Speaker 5 (01:47):
Y house.

Speaker 4 (01:50):
Everybody's weak.

Speaker 5 (01:52):
Yeah, pretty good. I survived getting my eyes laser.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
So I saw your wife said you were napping after
getting laser surgery, and your cat's apparently stick guard at
your bedroom door.

Speaker 5 (02:04):
Yeah. Yeah. It took a while to chase them all
out of the room so that they play there without
being bothered. That was an interesting experience.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Yeah, I'm assuming it worked.

Speaker 5 (02:17):
Oh yeah, OK, yeah, I can see now, so I
can see about as good is I could with my
glasses on. But what I'm told is that my vision's
going to keep getting better for like three months. I do.
I only have one Yeah, I only have one little

(02:38):
side effect, but apparently that's a pretty normal thing. That's
if I look at like bright lights, they have like
a halo round them. But apparently that goes away over
time too. The surgery is like, all right, it's crazy
that you're awake through the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, it's

(03:00):
pretty freaky. I'll tell you what. The freakiest part is
when they peel your cornea back, because it makes your
vision go fucking crazy.

Speaker 4 (03:10):
Like, no, I wouldn't like that at all.

Speaker 5 (03:16):
How I open they so they clockwork orange you okay,
and they give you Well the crazy thing is then
they give you like a little target and they're like
keep looking right here, and you're like, I'm trying, but
you're like bringing things at my eye.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
Yeah, like I was able to finally get to the
point where I could put contacts in when I was younger. Man,
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah, like when I get my eyes tested, they blast
like they put drops in and then they blast like
air into it or something really difficult for me to
deal with, so m yeah, I blink.

Speaker 5 (04:02):
The crazy thing is just that there is absolutely no pain.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
I've heard there's no like nerve endings in your eyeball.

Speaker 5 (04:11):
Yeah, yeah, they put numbing drops and stuff in it. Well,
but see that's not entirely true because I've had my
like corneous scratched before and that are really bad. In
this I have a giant circle cut my corneas and
it doesn't hurt. So how the fuck does that make sense?

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (04:27):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
It's almost like the doctors know things that you don't know.

Speaker 5 (04:33):
I don't know something well. And then so you have
I have like these wetting drops that I have to
put in pretty frequently, and then I have like steroid
antibiotic drops that I have to put in, you know,
every few hours, and those the steroid winds. You put
them in your eyes and there's about a five second
delay and then it's like stings really fucking bad. And

(04:57):
it's just weird that it gives you just enough time
to get them in both eyes and then it fucking
lights you up.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
Yeah, m I don't know if I can do it.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Why do they have to keep you awake?

Speaker 5 (05:10):
I have no idea, but very literally, before you go in,
they give you two tile and al PM and two advil.
Then they put some drops in your eyes, and then
they walk into a room and put you under a
machine and they're like, Okay, now we're gonna put this
thing in your eye.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
I feel like I'd prefer it if they would just
give me something to make me go to sleep and
then I just wakes out.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
Doug would prefer to get hit over the head of
a giant hammer and then.

Speaker 5 (05:35):
Yeah, I would also have preferred to be asleep, but
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
Part of the problem is I've seen whatever Final Destination
movie that is that doesn't help me.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
I mean, yeah, the whole thing. I couldn't. I can't
because they wanted to give me like a hard contact
lens from my eye condition, like a solid plastic contact lend,
and I just told them not to bother. I'm like,
I'm never putting that in Like, I'm just like, and
they're like, well, it's like the only thing we can
think of that might help right now. I'm like, well, then,

(06:08):
I guess it's I'm just gonna live with it like this,
just because.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
I will never do it on my own fight whoever
shows up to my house and trying to force me
to do.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
I said, like, we can go through the process of
like because it's like you have to have it specially
made for your eye and stuff, and we go through
that whole process, so it can just sit in my
bathroom on a counter. I don't know if there's any
real point to that.

Speaker 4 (06:31):
Oh, getting to the point where I have to take
my glasses off to read some things now, which is
not fun because that just makes you feel really old.
Glasses off to read, Yeah, because I'm like nearsighted, so
I can see stuff close up, but any glasses for
stuff to see stuff far away. And apparently my vision's

(06:55):
changing enough that my glasses on. Sometimes if I'm reading something,
especially on my phone, it's hard to see. If I
take my glasses off, it's much easier to read.

Speaker 5 (07:06):
It's because the lindsay, your eyes getting hard.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
You gotta do the like, get the bifocals going.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
Probably it's probably I'm due for some new glasses. That's
probably what's gonna end up happening. I'm really gonna feel old.
Not that that's not a constant every day thing already.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
All right, that's a pleasant start to the podcast. Really
important that we have these depressing old man conversations.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
No, were you worried they were gonna pull out a
chainsaw to operate on your eye?

Speaker 5 (07:39):
Uh No, that's that's fucking awful.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
That's absurd. I don't know why anyone would even think
of that.

Speaker 4 (07:47):
Yeah, well, sometimes hookers in a very specific region of
the United States, I would use one to chop up people.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Sure do.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
By the way, we're talking about hooker movies, one of
which is Hollywood chains hookers. Uh, I don't know, Doug,
do you want to tell us about Hollywood chain sockers.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
Hollywood chance sockers. It's a it's your typical film noir
about uh typical. You have like a private detective who
is trying to track down this girl who's run away
from home, and in sort of like the tradition of
films like you know, eight millimeter, he's like, oh, he

(08:35):
finds out she might be involved in the sex industry.
He finds her stripping.

Speaker 4 (08:43):
I like that. You went to a movie that was
made like fifteen years after this movie.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
I was gonna say hardcore, but I couldn't remember if
that was made before or after this movie.

Speaker 4 (08:54):
All the same time at least.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
Yeah. So anyways, it turns out she has joined a
a cult of hookers who worship chainsaws, which is run
by Gunnar Hansen. By sheer coincidence, I'm.

Speaker 5 (09:07):
Sure of ancient Egyptian chainsaws.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
Yeah, And so he's trying to rescue her from that cult,
only to find plot twist. It turns out she is
infiltrating the cult to get revenge because the cult sacrificed
one of her friends. So now he kind of joins
her on our mission, and they end up battling a
cult of chainsaw wielding hookers, and we get to witness

(09:35):
their chainsaw worshiping what do you call it? Dance party?
That's sure, And every now and again we just cut
to a scene where a hooker picks up a john,
takes him to a room, gets him on the bed,
and then she just proceeds to wave a chainsaw around
while a production assistant throws body parts and blood at

(09:59):
her while she's standing there get holding a chainsaw.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
Fred Olin Ray was like, I know what the boys want.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
It's not really it's not really a.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
Surprise, all right, watched for anybody?

Speaker 3 (10:19):
That was for me. I think I think I've seen
parts of this, but I'm not sure it was for me.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
I feel like Noah has this on a loop in
his bedroom.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
Probably, yeah, I definitely do.

Speaker 5 (10:29):
Not I have seen it before, but I wasn't sure. Weirdly,
for a movie called Hollywood Jane Saw Hookers, you'd think
that I would know whether or not I had saw it,
And it took me a few minutes to be like,
oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, yeah, OK.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
Because it seems like everything noahould want, like slimy exploitation
movie people getting chopped up in like the eighties style
with chainsaw and Lena quickly topless.

Speaker 5 (11:00):
Yeah, yeah, I wish. I kind of wish they would
have tried to play parts of it a little straighter,
which would make it funnier.

Speaker 4 (11:08):
You didn't like it when he made the shadow buddy
on the wall.

Speaker 5 (11:12):
I think, I, honest to god, I think the funniest
joke in the whole movie is that pop up at
the beginning of the movie that says about, you know,
the chainsaws used in this movie are real chainsaws used
by professional which is very, very dangerous, So don't do this,
And then like it pops up and it says, my
conscience is clear.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
It says, it says, don't don't do this, especially if
you're about to engage in sexual activity or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's really funny. So that that popped up at the beginning,
and I paused so I could laugh before the movie started.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
The first time watched. For me, I had heard I've
heard about this movie, yeah, but I just never watched it.
And I think I even remember reading, like back in
the day we used to get like a TV guide
and in the back, they would have all the movies
that were listed on all the movie channels alphabetically, and

(12:12):
sometimes I would just go through that because we didn't
have cable, and I would just go through that and
read the descriptions of the movies. And I think this
was one of them. And I think the idea kind
of freaked me out a little bit, as like, you know,
maybe like a six or seven year old where I'm
just like, there's women that just chop up people with chainsaws.
That's fucked up. Cut to forty years later and I

(12:34):
finally watch it and I'm like, oh, this is the
most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. So of course it's so.

Speaker 5 (12:40):
Good though, and it is great that like this movie's
just like the same thing over and over again. Yes,
it's like, yeah, it's like woman naked woman, naked woman, chainsaw.
Then time with our detective guy doing his shitty I'm
pretty Pokert impression, where the fuck he's doing jitty jokes?

(13:04):
And then woman naked woman, chain saw.

Speaker 3 (13:09):
I gotta repeat, I will, I will cut you off
a little bit. Though, I'm going to defend the private
detective guy. I think he gives a wonderful wonderful performance,
like you need something, you need a break from the
chain sawing in order for the chain song to have
an impact. And I think he does a really fun
job of like parodying like a traditional detective in a film,

(13:34):
and it's like his whole thing of like every time
he walks into a bar and tries to cool and
no one thinks he's cool, and he's like he's constantly
trying to like find people and everyone's just basically telling
him to shut up the whole time. I really enjoy
it every time he tries to a cool in front
of the cops and like, what the hell do you want?
Just tell us what you want and go it, like
because nobody else is in a nineteen fifties film, so

(13:56):
the rest of them don't have time for shit. And
I enjoy that.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
Did you enjoy when his description his noir voiceover would
not match what was actually going on in the scene.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
That's fine, didn't need to Are you talking about the
times where he intentionally didn't ye Because there was times
where it was just.

Speaker 5 (14:18):
Where he's talking about the girlfriend, he's like, you know,
she told me to have a good day, and she's
clearly telling him to fuck off.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
Yeah, stuff like that I enjoyed because it's like it's
it's just funny, and it's a nice like it's a
different type of funny than the funny of watching people
get chopped up with chainsaws, you know, So it's a nice,
nice breather in between chainsaw scenes. It's funny that he
goes to that bar, and like the I love the

(14:46):
I think it's an intentional joke that he just goes
to that bar to meet that one girl, and Lennay
quickly happens to be stripping at the bar. I don't
even think he knew it was a strip club when
he walked in. It's just like I think so, but
I mean, of course Lenaa quickly plays that role. Like
I didn't say that in my plot description, but everyone knew, right,

(15:08):
It's nineteen eighty eight, a young runaway girl turns out
she's a stripper who's joined to cult. Yeah, it's Lenae quickly,
the second most obvious casting in the whole movie.

Speaker 4 (15:20):
The funny thing is I read that she constantly told
her parents not to watch any of her movies. Yeah,
obvious reasons. Yeah, and even would go through the TV
guide and erase when her movies were playing, so they
would know when they were on or whatever. Apparently she
said she was so proud of this movie that she
brought both of her parents to the premiere. That makes

(15:44):
no sense.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
I don't understand, but sure, it's fine. She's good in
the movie, Like I have no like we I find
we're saying this about her a lot. But it's she's
good at what she does, Like there's a reason why
she kept getting these roles. Like anybody can dance around
on the thong, right, Like it's not that hard. But

(16:06):
the actual acting is the part that she can pull
off in a way that other actresses can't. Think she
can make a movie like this work because let's be honest,
this movie in the hands of the wrong people would
be terrible. It'd be bad trauma. Right, yeah, it's but
this is an AI picture. It's the director is somebody
who works a lot. The actors are good. You know,

(16:28):
maybe Gunner Handson's not good, But who the hell else
are you going to put into.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
If you can get leather face from Texas Chansaw Masses.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
It's not like it's a one hundred percent stunt casting. Like
it's just like obviously it has to be him. The
weirdest type casting in the world where it's like anytime
somebody dances with a chainsaw in a movie, he has
to be in it.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
Yeah. I was reading the trivia about this movie, as
you know, at the very beginning as it was starting,
and multiple posts about this the famous dual chainsaw virgin
dance at the end or whatever, and they kept going
to like multiple kept referencing it like this scene must
be crazy, And then when it came to it, she

(17:14):
literally is just like barely moving around while she's holding.

Speaker 5 (17:18):
Two Yeah, I mean she kind of The only way
I can describe it is like the Fonzie A but
extended a.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
Listen, would you hit two chainsaws working chainsaws to like
an actor and be like, hey, you're gonna be mostly
naked and you're gonna dance with these. Just work with
the choreography and see what you can come up with
to do safely. That's what they came up with.

Speaker 4 (17:43):
Well, the funny thing is because she comes out of
like this coffin sarcophagus thing, yeah, with the two chain saws,
and apparently she would start both the chainsaws and then
get into the sarcophagus thing, and then they would you know, action,
and then they would go and then she would emerge
and do the thing or whatever. And apparently the exhaust

(18:04):
coming out of the chainsaws, she started to get like
light headed after a couple of times. Yes, she was
like dying of carbon monoxide poisoning. But I'm just like,
why do they have to be running for this scene?
Like she's not like engaging the actual chainsaw so that
it's moving.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
Listen, it's important for realism. He wants this to be
as much like a real chainsaw worshiping cult as it
could be.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
Oh so weird.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
She's dancing there, the guy's tied down and he's like,
oh fuck, they're gonna like kill me with those chain
saws the whole time when we get the girls fighting
with the chain saws.

Speaker 5 (18:49):
And apparently it's pretty good.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
And apparently places didn't realize that she was wearing body paint.
I think they thought she was wearing like a skin
tight like and so they would just play those clips
to advertise the movie on whatever, like on TV or whatever,
not realizing that she was like actually naked.

Speaker 5 (19:12):
Yeah, that is very fucking funny that.

Speaker 3 (19:16):
That's my favorite piece of about this.

Speaker 4 (19:18):
Movie and apparently she was even shot. She's just like
they keep showing those on TV and stuff, but like
I'm naked topless at least.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
Like my personal opinion is good for her and good
for them, because agreed, that seems like one of those
little victories. Remember like when you were a kid and
you'd hear a swear word on the radio because they
forgot to edit it out of the song. This would
have been so cool to see just the naked chick
on there and you know what everybody else thinks, she's dressed.

Speaker 4 (19:51):
Also, my big takeaway from this movie is, man, they
had not perfected breast and plants yet. No, No of
these boom jobs are terrible.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
It's yeah, those eighties breast implants are something else, you know,
whatever we're to judge, but.

Speaker 5 (20:08):
Where they're where it makes their tits so far apart
for some reason, Yeah, a lot of distance between those tits.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
Like I mean, it's it's funny because it's just like
it doesn't even remotely look natural, and it's awkward to
see now because now like like even if a girl
has a shirt on, you can tell in those ones. Nowadays,
I think you can kind of do them so that
if they have, if they're dressed, you certainly can't tell.
But you know whatever, that's that the technology has advanced.

(20:39):
You know, that's what happens. It's the same thing as
like when they use CGI in old movies and it
doesn't look right now.

Speaker 4 (20:47):
Uh and then uh. A couple other pieces of trivia
that may become Duck's favorite's Triviall. Oh, the Temple set.
I read two different pieces that are kind of contradictory,
so I don't know which one if either one or true.
But the first one is that part of that set
is from the movie Vamp that if you look, you

(21:08):
can still see Grace Jones's face on one of the
statues or whatever.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
Oh interesting, I.

Speaker 4 (21:15):
Was looking for it. I couldn't really see it.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
But that's not my favorite piece of trivia.

Speaker 4 (21:21):
Well, the other piece is that the Temple set is
actually from the temple part in House to the second story.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
Oh that might be. That's pretty good. I haven't seen
House two since we covered it on the show.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
Yeah, so maybe I don't know.

Speaker 5 (21:38):
I was gonna say that one sounds true, just true.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Yeah. The only question which is in House to like
nineteen eighty five, or am I mistaken?

Speaker 4 (21:49):
I'll have to look.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
Yeah, it just it feels like it could be a
bit earlier. But I might be mistaken on the year
or two. I don't do the thing where I look
stuff up. I just go off memory.

Speaker 4 (22:01):
All right, Hollywood, Chainsaw Hookers is eighty eight. Yeah, in
the house To is e seven, so they're one more apart.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
So this is starting to feel like it's almost a given.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
Yeah. And then Vamp was eighty six, So I don't know,
it seems more likely to be house To. I wanted
to be house To, so I'm just gonna say it's
house Too.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Thaten's more more likely, I would think.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
So h and then the last piece of trivia that
I thought was pretty hilarious is apparently there's some real
prostitutes possibly in this movie.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
Why not?

Speaker 4 (22:43):
I think during the last scene when they did there's
a bunch of extra women just hanging out.

Speaker 3 (22:47):
It was just cheaper and higher prostitutes than extrass.

Speaker 4 (22:50):
Well, from what I read, they just went around town
asking the girls on the street, like, Hey, do you
want to be in a movie? Apparently they were like okay.
But it's kind of funny because I think Dunner Hansen
was quoted as saying, like, yeah, they drank all the
beer at the rat party and then just left. I

(23:11):
mean I just like that show up, drink all the
beer and like, yeah, we're out.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
I mean that seems fine to me. You know, if
you hire prostitutes to play prostitutes in your movie, I
mean that seems like that's what's gonna happen. You need
to know that going in. Did you guys look into
the director at all?

Speaker 4 (23:31):
Uh, the name is very familiar. I cannot because.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
He has like one hundred and seventy credits or something.
And my favorite thing I read was that he got
started in doing like low budget horror and sci fi,
but then he he's almost almost like complaining, you know
when when the kind of the budgets for those types
of things dried up and it was harder to make

(23:56):
those movies, he had to transition into making like TNA
movies to be sure, on late night television. It's wait
a minute, like this is what you made when you
were making a horror. I don't know that you're allowed
to complain about making T and A movies for late
night television.

Speaker 4 (24:10):
Like, uh, well, you know what he does now.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
Are he's doing TV stuff, now.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Doing TV stuff, but it all looks like those fucking
Hallmark movies Royal Christmas Holiday.

Speaker 5 (24:24):
I'm so happy that the person who mad Texas Chancellor
Hookers is doing homework.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
I am going against my own refuse to do refuse
to do research thing and actually opening it up and
seeing like, yeah, moon Maidens, wait, moon Maidens, and then
a Royal Christmas Holiday. Why does one of those sound
like a porn in? One of those sounds like a
Hallmark movie.

Speaker 4 (24:46):
But then in twenty twenty two he made Piranha women
and a Royal Christmas on Ice.

Speaker 3 (24:53):
This Royal Christmas thing is a trend like ballet.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
There's a holiday these guys on franchise.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
Royal Christmas on Ice, Royal Christmas Engagement. So that's hilarious.
So he's doing like fucking Hallmark movies. And then when
he gets a break, he doesn't something called The Killer
in My Backyard. That's hilarious.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
I bet those are like Lifetime movies like scorned wives
that kill their husbands.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Maybe yeah, see a movie.

Speaker 4 (25:23):
Called yeah, Killer in my Backyard, A Mother's Secret.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
That's a bunch of different Christmases that are in different
that are in different states. It's like just there's Vermont
Christmas and whatever other Christmas is just yeah, that's hilarious.
I love that he's doing that. So funny. This is
how he got his starts.

Speaker 4 (25:46):
Just gotta make your money somehow. Oh he did one
called baby Dolls Behind Bars that does not look like
a Lifetime.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Movie that is video not TV, so.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
As is Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills or Dirty Blondes
from Beyond.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
I like fucking like he used fucking aliases for some
of these as well.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
Bikini Jones in the Temple of Arrows.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Alright, alright, I'm I'm glad we looked this up because
I'm glad to know all this, But I don't think
we need to read all one hundred and seventy credits titles.

Speaker 4 (26:28):
The titles are so good. So yeah, he's definitely a
name I had heard before. But again, I think this
might be the first time I've ever seen one of
those movies.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
I think I was like scanning it earlier today and
I don't think I had seen anything. But there's so
many that I don't know like he does. Like I
will say, like it's he has a talent, Like, it's
not because this movie could be bad, Like based on
everything we're saying, I could be complaining or I could
be really happy. Like there's no middle ground, and I'm

(27:00):
very happy that we watched this. It really it nailed that,
just that perfect tone, you know, like it understands what
it is, but it's not. It doesn't cross that line
into making fun of horror movies. It's still just having
fun with them, which is like a really silly thing
to say, but it's true.

Speaker 4 (27:20):
By the way, we have covered another one of those
movies on the show, Oh which one attack of the
sixty foot centerfolds.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
Oh that was terrible.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
It wasn't terrible. Yeah, this is one of those movies.
I looked it up to see if there's like a
It's Cool release because I'm curious. This is definitely a
movie I would want to watch like a making of
documentary about because I just want to hear all the
stories about making this movie.

Speaker 3 (27:50):
Oh, Like I want interviews with the studio heads who
are like, yeah, if Gunnar Hansen refuses to be the
cult leader, the movie just doesn't get made, Like it's
why is he such a good actor? No, he's actually
like not to not to be overly critical, but I
think he's like the worst performance in the film. And

(28:10):
it's like that's not like it's not because like we've
definitely done movies with the way worse performances in it.
But oh yeah, compared to everyone, everyone else is quite good.

Speaker 4 (28:22):
M he's all. He also said that people had been
after like they keep asking him if he would ever
do a sequel this, yeah, because you know, it's like
a cult classic, so you've got to cash in. But
he said he would if they paid him up front
for the production costs of the movie, and it's salary

(28:42):
because apparently he he said that he got royally fucked
on this movie as far as like taking any money
off of it.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
They do tease a potential sequel at the end. Yeah,
and we although we see Gunner Hansen get chainsaw, we're
told that they refined his body, so you never know,
it could still happen. It could still happen.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
You can get Andrew Bernarski. Now he's falling off, falling
off of anybody's radar, so he'd be cheap enough.

Speaker 3 (29:13):
It'd be hilarious to do a remake of this and
put him in the role.

Speaker 4 (29:16):
Really funny.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
I mean, it's probably not a good business move, but
I don't necessarily recommend it, but it's pretty funny.

Speaker 4 (29:24):
Yeah. I don't know if there's a market for Hollywood
chains lookers too anymore.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
But I mean I'm I'd be there one hundred percent.
I Like, I gotta say, like going into this movie,
it's one of those ones where I'm like, you know,
it's almost a homework movie, where it's like I've heard
about it for so long that I should watch it.

Speaker 4 (29:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
I couldn't have been happier with the way it turned out.
They nailed it, and it's I was because I got
like when the AI logo popped up at the beginning,
I got a little nervous. I'm like, oh, I don't
know if that's right for this type of movie. But
it turns out, Yeah, that that sort of lighthearted tone
that they were quite good at suits this very well.

(30:04):
And like I say, getting a director in there that
can have fun with the horror industry without making fun
of the horror industry, having actors who will take stuff
like this seriously and actually try like it's just just
taking this utterly absurd premise and like making a real
movie out of it instead of just like like, it's

(30:26):
not just a collection of scenes. It's not just you know,
the same room with different girls chainsawing guys each time
or whatever. It's not you know, reused shots and all
the crap that you expect to see in a nothing
budget film.

Speaker 4 (30:40):
So I was Doug, you found the real artist intent
in Hollywood Chainsawhookers.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
It's stupid, but it's true.

Speaker 4 (30:59):
Alright. Else they want to say about Hollywood chainsaws, it's.

Speaker 5 (31:05):
Just fucking delightful. I don't know the scene. Would you
get the second chainsaw scene with the guy who's like,
I need to take pictures from my work. They're like,
are you gonna sell pictures? And he's like, no, no,
I sell baseball bats. It's for a calendar, a newty calendar.
Baseball bats. Kids love it.

Speaker 4 (31:27):
Could you take this picture? Sure? Cut to just a
shot of her, just a ban over ass up.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
The whole thing is absurd because she goes through all
day where she's holding a bat and like posing with
it like she's gonna swing, and it's like she has
those breast implants that Brian was complaining about earlier. So
it's like she couldn't swing a bat even if she tried.

Speaker 4 (31:54):
Chest is locked into place, can't move it very well.

Speaker 3 (31:57):
So it's like the whole thing is very serve and
very enjoyable. And it's such an eighties idea too, because
you're like, you know what, I would buy my baseball
bat from a guy if it came with a free
nooty calendar. That's that's the deciding factor if you need
a new bad anyway.

Speaker 4 (32:15):
Oh, the first kill in the movie when she puts
on the music and then she covers up the picture.

Speaker 3 (32:24):
Of Elvis like Dexter style, but all she protects is
her picture of Elvis.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
So she was dancing to a real Elvis song. Yeah,
and apparently the song that they played on set they
couldn't they couldn't get it because it was too expensive,
so they had to get a different Elvis song. But
I'm just baffled that the Elvis estate was like Hollywood
chainsaw hookers. Yeah, sure, so we'll clear we'll clear usage

(32:54):
for that. Why not.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
Just all that tells me is that nobody gives a
fuck by not that for his death. That they're just like,
send the check for this amount here and you can
do whatever you want with her, That's exactly what that is. Yeah,
but she starts because when she starts hanging the plastic,
and I'm like, it is very Dexter, Like I think

(33:16):
this was a heavily influential film on Dexter. And I'm like,
I'm watching her do it, and I'm like, she gonna
put plastic like all over the room. And then it's like, no,
just the picture. I mean, you could just put the
picture behind glass and be easy to wash off after
take that up, that plastic up and put it down

(33:37):
every time it was I will point out in the
storytelling of the film though, there is like there's an
element in movies like this where sometimes the men that
are hiring the hookers are the bad guys and we're
happy to see them get killed, but they don't. They
want the hookers to be the bad guys. So that
like opening kill that guy is like on from out

(34:00):
of town, I don't even know what, I'm just here
to have a drink. And then she's like pressuring him
to and eventually he kind of goes, oh, wait, you're
like a hooker. He's like it's like his neat La
experience that he met a hooker and stuff, and so
then so he's like just like this kind of somewhat
innocent guy, Like he's still going back to a hotel
room of the hooker. But you know, it wasn't like

(34:20):
he's some scumbag who was going to abuse her or
try not to pay her. He was just you knowing
out of town guy, a businessman on travel, you know,
And and she like manipulated him to get him back there.
So it's like it's a fun way to set up that. Like,
I don't know, the chainsaw hookers are the bad guys
of the movie, don't.

Speaker 4 (34:36):
Worry, just in case we need to differentiate between Yah.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
It's important to know who you're rooting for when a
hooker is chainsawing a guy? Am I happy to see
him get chainsawed? Like I am when Jason kills people
or you know on his side. So, and at that point,
we don't even know there's a chainsaw cult. So that
big plot twist has occurred yet. Oh we know. What

(35:05):
we haven't talked about is the nonsensical scene where they're
in the police station and one of the cult members
has been arrested. It's not relevant to the rest of
the Yeah, it's not relevant to the rest of the
movie at all. We're just like, there's just a crazy
girl in the thing, and the cops just casually mentioned that, like, yeah,
while she was here, she we were we left her

(35:26):
alone in the room with the chainsaw, and she killed
two officers. So it just casually dropped that. You're like,
I know, this.

Speaker 4 (35:36):
Movie is ridiculous. It was a lot better and I
thought it was gonna be though.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
I'm so happy with this movie.

Speaker 5 (35:43):
Hour and ten is the perfect length for this.

Speaker 4 (35:45):
That's also true. It is very short.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
It's yeah, it's an hour fourteen and like.

Speaker 4 (35:52):
Very long opening, very long opening and closing credits too. Yeah,
the actual movie itself, it's pretty short.

Speaker 3 (35:59):
Yeah. Ava a little for free on several different apps
if you're looking for it.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
So all right, Noah, do you want to go from
hookers that chop people up to a hooker that has
been chopped up and put back together?

Speaker 3 (36:19):
Sure? So excellent, Brian very well known.

Speaker 5 (36:25):
So Frank and Hooker is about a genius who everybody
the best thing is freaky dookie, weird science kid who
everybody acts like it's normal, Like they're like, yeah, he's
been kicked out of several schools, and he's a genius

(36:48):
doctor who failed out of med school and now works
for the power company.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
And has a pet human brain that he keeps in am.

Speaker 5 (36:57):
He has a pet human brain with an eyeball, and
we but he keeps going, what is it? And he
keeps going, I don't know. He has his fiance and
they are at the fiance's dad's birthday party. His gift
is a remote controlled giant, super dangerous lunmower, in which,
during the demonstration, his girlfriend runs herself over with the

(37:20):
remote control lawnmodes. Yeah, his only recourse is, of course,
to steal her head in one hand and I think
a foot and store her in a bathtub filled with
pinkish purple water for an undetermined amount of time, maybe

(37:40):
a year, we're not sure, during which he's gone even
more mentally ill. He has a great conversation with his
mother where he says, you know, I'm kind of losing
grip on reality and I'm becoming more and more immoral
every day, and she's like, okay, you want pie.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
She's not a particularly helpful mother.

Speaker 5 (38:01):
So he decides he needs body parts, but there's no
good way to get body parts, and if he's gonna
have to pay to get body parts, he might as
well hire hookers and kill them to get the body parts.
We get some funny scenes of how he talks a
room full of hookers into getting together and allow him
to take measurements. A significant portion of this movie is

(38:25):
him inventing a super crack in order to kill the
the hookers.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
It's easier to come up with super crack than it
is for me to invent a way to just grow
body parts.

Speaker 5 (38:39):
Yeah, we're just like that. The fact is crack is
such a big fucking part of this movie is just
it's fucking wild. By the way, distributed by Trump.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
If you kill hookers using traditional methods, then you have
to chop them up the super crack, they just explode.
Problem solved.

Speaker 5 (39:00):
You know, It's a.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Time saver in the long run.

Speaker 5 (39:03):
I do love the fact that he tests the super
crack on the guinea pig. The guinea pig explodes, and
then he goes, Oh, holy shit, this is gonna be
a huge fucking mess, and then he just goes.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
To with that plan.

Speaker 5 (39:19):
Part of part of the plot of this movie, too,
is that he has been drilling into his own brain
to help him quote unquote think, which is, uh, yeah,
it's a thing.

Speaker 4 (39:32):
That's some Jeffrey dahmershit. Sure.

Speaker 5 (39:34):
Yeah. Finally he brings back the girlfriend, along with the
various hooker pieces that he picked out, which is very funny.
I really like the fact that she's got the check
mark on her ass from earlier film.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
That's one of my favorite things about this whole movie.

Speaker 5 (39:52):
Yeah, brings her back, but instead of having the girlfriend's personality,
she just shouts a random hooker things that the other
hookers have said in the last twenty minutes of the movie,
which is very funny.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
What a date.

Speaker 5 (40:08):
She also has an issue where apparently if she sexes
or kisses a person, she passes electricity into their body
and then they supercrack explode as well, So we get
her walking around and exploding people. Yeah. Then we get
the confrontation with the pimp, which ends with the As

(40:31):
it turns out earlier in the movie, when we saw
the lightning strike and it hits the giant vat of
hooker parts that are left over, we get that Checkof's
lightning bolt payoff because it's now filled with horrible Cronenberg
horror monsters. That's a great word for them, by the way,

(40:53):
I mean, there is no other word for it. Who
dragged the pimp in there? During which he gets his
head chopped off? Suddenly he wakes up because girlfriend has
frankensteined him back together, and the joke being that his
formula and stuff only works on female body parts, so

(41:16):
now he is also made of four bits and doesn't
have a dick anymore. Hahaha, very funny end of the movie.

Speaker 4 (41:28):
Is this the first time watched for anybody?

Speaker 5 (41:31):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
It's the first time in fucking over twenty years. I
think it's the second time watch for me. And the
first time was at like a festival screening years and
years ago.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
So I watched this like a month and a half
ago for the first time. Really, yeah, it's just like,
what the hell?

Speaker 5 (41:50):
I So a couple of favorite things from this movie.
First of all, super Crack is very fucking funny and
it's also very very trauma.

Speaker 3 (41:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
Uh, but the check mark on the ass big thing.
The girl who plays the Franken Monster, that fucking uh
Sylvester Stallone lip poll that she keeps doing is so
fucking yeah. I don't know why that is, but her
kicking herr fucking lip to the side like that is

(42:23):
just like I'm like, yeah, you know the assignment you got.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
This overall performance is good, like the way she is
quoting the other hookers and stuff like and walking all
kind of awkwardly, and then like, I mean, the performance
is good. And then the way it's portrayed in the
film where a lot of people are not noticing that
she's a Frankenstein monster. They're just like still like wanting
to hook up with her because she just goes to

(42:47):
where hookers go.

Speaker 5 (42:51):
I love I do love the first guy she sucks,
the little bald dude who it's like everybody's like, what
the fuck, what the fuck? Then he gets to him
and he's like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
She's so excited to be there.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
It seems like I had heard Patty Mullen, who plays
our titular Frankin Hooker. He's been doing conventions and she
still does the stallone lip when she takes pictures with people.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Nice.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
Yeah, apparently she dresses up, she gets the purple hair,
she does the purple outfit, does the whole thing, takes
pictures with people, conventions, Yeah.

Speaker 5 (43:32):
I'm into it. I like her bonus points Also, those
Cronenberg horror monsters are just fucking in a movie where
I would argue everything is skiny about the left field,
those are so fucking far out of left field.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
Oh, completely caught off guard, Like, you know, going into
this having not seen it in so long that I
couldn't remember things. It did not occur to me that
there was going to be horrible little moms coming out
of that freezer. It was awesome. And they're dragging the
pimp back in.

Speaker 5 (44:06):
Yeah, the pimp getting dragged into the thing. You're like, yeah, but.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
Yeah, like the whole movie is every little part is good.
But then also the way it's put together is really good,
where you have, like by making the scientist guy the
main character, that's smarter than making the Franken hooker the
main character. So she's only like Franken hookering about for
a little while, you know, wandering through the village causing

(44:32):
trouble the way that Frankenstein monsters tend to do. She's
only doing that for a little bit. You know. Most
of the movie is about him and doing his experiments
and dealing with the hookers and awkwardly learning how to
deal with hookers. Because there's just that street that's just
full of hookers. That's where you go apparently going a

(44:53):
hooker in New York City. I don't know's I mean
it's frank hennon latter is that you pronounce it. And
you know he's good at portraying eighties New York in
his own special ways. He has a vision of that
city at that time. He likes to put it on film,

(45:14):
and it's not really a positive one. I wouldn't suggest.

Speaker 5 (45:18):
I do love the like ninety percent of for interactions
while she's in Frankenstein mode, is her going you got
any money? And they're like no Ah just pushes them away.

Speaker 4 (45:33):
I will say I was a little disappointed when I
watched it that the actual like Franken hooker part doesn't
come in until about the last third of the movie.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
Oh see, I think that's the right move. I think
you want to do it.

Speaker 4 (45:45):
I hope for a little more.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
I think I think the problem. I think you think
you want more, but I don't think you want more.

Speaker 5 (45:50):
I mean, listen, we' are you gonna cut out super crack.

Speaker 3 (45:56):
You're gonna cut out him putting a check mark a
drawing a CHECKMRK on that girl's ass because it's the
one he wants to use when he builds his Franken Hooker. No,
but I think I think it's like the classic case
of like you think you want more Franken Hooker, but
if that was an hour of her walking around doing that,
you'd be like, it gets lame after a while. And

(46:19):
I don't think I think they nailed it. I think
they did just the right amount. So again, I think
it's it's like when people watch like a show or
a movie and they want the funniest character to get
their own spin off, and you're like, yeah, but would
they be funny if you see him and there's nobody
else there for them to playoff?

Speaker 4 (46:40):
So how did you feel about this as a Frankenstein movie?

Speaker 3 (46:43):
I was actually like pretty impressed with how close it is,
because even the thing with like because you have like
like you have the mad scientist, you have like the
monster comes back not quite right, you have like the
whole thing of him, like trying to figure out how
to collect body parts and stuff. You even have like

(47:04):
the fun twist ending of like the the are quotes
the bride waking up and being horrified, except with like
the role reversal which is fun, you know, so as
like a like as a parody of Frankenstein movies, I
think it works quite well. I think it's a it's
a fun it's a fun twist on the story that

(47:24):
it doesn't go too far again having fun with the
genre and not making fun of the genre's it really
it knows its limits, if that makes sense. So, like
you have him running around in his like medical gear,
like drenched in blood, like trying to find the Franken hooker,
and just when it starts to seem stupid, somebody goes,

(47:45):
wait a minute, why are you dressed like that? It
reminds the audience, so you know, it's absurd that he's
running around looking like this and everybody does notice. It's
just you know, and I think stuff like that is
important in a weird way to prevent it from getting stupid.
So yeah, I think I think it. This is another
another hit. I watched these back to back today. By

(48:06):
the way, this is my whole day. It's like, what
a great day.

Speaker 4 (48:13):
So get a bunchet of dead hookers.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
Yeah, just alone in my house with dead hookers. That's
how I like to spend my time.

Speaker 4 (48:22):
I did like that all the body parts come back
to life, as we mentioned.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
Yeah, that was a fun twist.

Speaker 4 (48:28):
And even like boobs come of life like like like
they're they're like all the parts are like cut up.
So there's just he's kept individual boobs in this pink
ooze and there's just a live boobs bouncing around during
the whole thing.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
Well, because he did, like he did go through every
body part including boobs, with like a fine tooth comb,
trying to find the perfect ones to replace his body with.
Because there is that scene where he he gets his
like whatever that doctor thing is that works as a
telescope and he zooms in on that one girl's nipple
and then boops it. It's right around the time that

(49:13):
he puts the checkmark on that other girl's ass. So
you know, you might have missed it. You would have
been too happy about the check mark.

Speaker 4 (49:21):
I do remember enjoying the out of control remote control
lawnmower too, just I just for some reason, because I
didn't rewatch this. I I guess I watched like a
month and a month and a half ago. I do
remember when that happened, just being like, oh holy shit,
all right, I guess we're just jumping right into.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
It, well, because it's such a weird eighties concept, Like
the film came in nineteen ninety, but it's like the
weird eighties, like oh yeah, I know, like I made
an automatic lawnmower that you can control with this remote
and it's just like a guy that works at the
power company just knows how to do that is such
an eighties thing and then to have it immediately backfire.

Speaker 4 (50:02):
Just does anybody remember the VHS box in the Video
Star that had a little button on it and you
pushed it in the box said you want to date?

Speaker 3 (50:15):
No? No, but there's a.

Speaker 4 (50:18):
Talking Yeah, there was a talking box head her voice
asking if you want to date?

Speaker 3 (50:22):
That's great? Yeah, No, this movie is like a really
good movie as well, Like it's a movie that knows
what it is. It's it is making a parody, but
a smart parody, like not a as dumb as the
movie is. It doesn't cross that line into like just

(50:45):
constantly making Dick convert jokes, if that makes sense.

Speaker 6 (50:48):
Yeah, so it like.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
And then like you know the idea that like at
the end he gets his comeuppance and it's like the
button on the story is like, yeah, maybe don't turn
your girlfriend into Franken Hooker like this, like you know,
maybe this was wrong, maybe that you know. And I
think that that's kind of the difference between this and
like a worse like if Troma had made this film

(51:11):
and not just distributed it, I think that you wouldn't
have gotten those types of little They don't worry as
much about the storytelling. It would have just been the jokes,
and the jokes probably would have been mostly the same jokes,
but without storytelling that it worked for as well for me.

Speaker 7 (51:27):
Thanks for calling The Midnight Driving No one is here
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Midnight drive In on Twitter at MMn drive in pod,
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Remember no outside food and drink. Anyone cut performing sexual

(51:48):
accent the drive in will immediately be taken to the
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for calling.

Speaker 4 (51:58):
All right, who's what stuff? Since last episode?

Speaker 5 (52:02):
I actually watched a few things.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
Oh were you supposed to be watching stuff on screens
after getting your eyes lasered? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (52:11):
Yeah, I mean you're you're very literally what they tell
you to do is go home, take a four hour nap,
and then watch TV the rest of the day.

Speaker 6 (52:18):
Oh fair, all right, now I want the surgery.

Speaker 4 (52:22):
That's pretty good.

Speaker 5 (52:25):
So I saw a few things. So I did finally
watch Gaba del Torro's Frankenstein.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
I saw him watching. Yet it's really good. Well, they
keep I keep hearing it's great.

Speaker 5 (52:38):
Yeah. The only the only thing I would change is
I would make the monster even more attractive, because they
still went with the he's kind of stitched up quite
a bit, which is not the way he is in
the book.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
Tell you he was too ugly for you? That's your complaint?

Speaker 5 (53:00):
Yeah, yeah, well yeah, and I don't I don't even
think like they didn't make him as horribly monster as
as he is in a lot of versions.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
No, which is yeah.

Speaker 5 (53:10):
But besides that, it's really good. It is interesting that
they kind of not only do they take out the
incest thing, but they I don't know, they completely changed
the relationship between Elizabeth and Victor, which is odd.

Speaker 3 (53:27):
Yeah, I think what they were trying to do and
trying not to spoil it for Brian, but like, I
think what they're trying to do is show his like
weird obsessive behavior that he has, like the creation of
the monster is also applies to her. But I don't
think they did a good of a job of it. Yeah,
I could have almost taken her out of the movie,

(53:47):
and I might've been better. Not that I not that
I didn't want her in the movie, but I'm not
sure how much. I'm not sure how much she advanced
the plot.

Speaker 5 (53:57):
Yeah maybe, Yeah, No, I think that I think that
makes sense. I really liked the stuff with him and
the old Man I thought was very very good.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
The Christoph Wall's character or the old.

Speaker 5 (54:07):
Man in the Monster the Blind the Blind Man.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
Yeah, I agree that was it was really well done
because it was like I feel like they gave the
old man more of a character in this than he
has in almost any other version of the story I've seen, Like,
like you actually understand why this old man is alone
in this cabin because he refused to leave and like
with his family and all this stuff.

Speaker 5 (54:29):
Right, Yeah, uh yeah, but it was, like I said,
it was very good.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
Man.

Speaker 5 (54:35):
The gory bits are so gory, I know, it's kind
of and it almost catches you off guard because it's
not happening through the whole movie and then whenever it
does happen, you're like Jesus Christ, like Garrimo, chill the
fuck out, Like.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
No, no, do not chill the fuck out. I disagree
with that. It's a when he's in when he's doing
his experiments in the castle, there's just piles of body part,
it's all over the place, and it's like this huge,
beautiful Gothic castle, and then there's just hands over there.

Speaker 5 (55:06):
You're like, sweet, I see, I wouldn't even say that.
That's like the biggest During the encounter with the wolves,
there is a moment in that where it's like Jesus
fucking Christ, what the fuck man?

Speaker 3 (55:24):
Yeah, I mean correct, Yeah, but again, I wouldn't change it.
I think having that in there is beneficial to the
film and beneficial to understanding other people's reactions to what
has happened and stuff like that.

Speaker 5 (55:39):
Yeah. Yeah, And I do love. I do love basically
address like the monster's kind of thought process and motivations
and leg which again is huge parts of the book
that are just absent in every fucking adaptation for whatever reason.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Yeah. No, And it's it's well done and you do
kind of understand where monsters coming from. He's a little
too ragy for my taste. That's just my personal opinion
on it.

Speaker 5 (56:08):
Sure, But in the book, I mean, he's kind of
that's part of the thing is he's trying to process
his emotions unhealthily, you know, because he's got his issues too.
But yeah, and I do I do like the the
stuff that they added in with like really focusing on
Victor's dad and all that kind of stuff to be like, oh,

(56:29):
it's a kind of a cycle of abuse kind of
thing that's going on in some ways.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
Yeah, they did a good job of not overemphasizing that,
but at the same time showing you if you want
to stop and think about it, it's there. You know.
The obsessive behavior and the kind of the pressure he
puts on Victor is sort of the same as the
pressure Victor puts on the monster.

Speaker 5 (56:52):
Yeah, exactly. So again, well, it's great if you're a
fan of Frankenstein or a fan of horror movies. Either way,
you should probably bug and watch it. And then I
watched I'm trying to remember what the exact name of
this is. Hold on, I want to say it's called

(57:15):
Vanessa two thousand.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
What that does sound like a movie? You'd watch.

Speaker 5 (57:21):
It is not what you're thinking.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
It is.

Speaker 4 (57:25):
Disney Channel original.

Speaker 5 (57:27):
No. So actually I got a like a coupon thing
for Dropout, and I was like, okay, you know, I
can get a year of dropout for like forty dollars
drop out. So drop out is the thing that College
Humor turned into. Now they make sort of TV shows
on their own network kind of the same groups of people, okay.

(57:52):
And one of the things they have on there is
a bunch of stand ups they have, like Adam Conover's
stand up and people like that. And I saw this
random one of a woman kind of dressed like a
sex doll and it was called that, and I was like,
that's this has got to be a fucking crazy ass
stand up, So let's watch this. And it is stand up,

(58:14):
but it is stand up in the kind of clown
vein of comedy, so more like a Steve Martin stand up,
if that makes sense. And it's this whole show where
the woman whose name I cannot fucking remember off the
side of my head, is playing a sex robot and

(58:36):
so like there's significant parts of this show where she's
like torquing on stage and stuff like with the camera
zoomed down on her ass. It's it's pretty wild, but
it's very funny and very weird and shifts gears about
one hundred fucking times where you're like, what in the
fuck is happening right now? I would argue not all

(59:01):
of it is funny, funny funny, but that's the way
I feel about people like Steve Martin and that where
it's you know, that fucking stage clown shit. It either
hits or it doesn't, right, But I'd highly recommend watching
it if you're into experimental, weird fucking comedy, because it
is experimental and fucking weird. Then I also went to

(59:28):
the theaters in Saul Predator bad Lands. Yeah, it is
just like I mean, it's a popcorn movie in the
Predator universe. There's a needlessly cute character and it's like
a almost like a buddy cop movie of a Predator

(59:50):
and a half an android going across the planet to
kill a monster. I like, I said.

Speaker 3 (59:57):
You're upsetting me by saying these things.

Speaker 4 (01:00:00):
Just listen, here's what Doug wants.

Speaker 5 (01:00:03):
Here's the thing. If you're wanting to go into it
to see a a rated R Predator one Predator two
style movie, do not fucking watch the movie because you
will hate it. But if you're in it to go.
I used to read the Predator comic books, and I
want to watch something more like the Predator comic books. Sure,

(01:00:26):
I mean, that's it. I mean this is very literally
it is a movie about a predator learning that the
idea of hunting alone maybe is not actually the correct thing,
and that sometimes hunting as a group makes you stronger.
So it's a it is a fucking predator movie about
a predator learning a fucking after school time lesson. But

(01:00:51):
it's fun. The whole thing is. It's fun and ridiculous.
It's a shitty popcorn movie. If you could accept it
to be a shitty popcorn movie, you're good.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
I cannot.

Speaker 5 (01:00:59):
Just so we're clear, man, So they don't watch it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
I'm already mad about it.

Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
Yeah, I mean, Predator. What's what's the thing that makes
the predator species the most interesting? Would you say?

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
I would say the mystery and is learning about them?

Speaker 5 (01:01:16):
Yeah, yeah, so that's part of it. So that's throw
that out the window. And what makes the predator scary
in like the first.

Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
Movie, I mean, it's the fact that they're kind of
an unstoppable force that only has one mission.

Speaker 5 (01:01:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They are the perfect killing machine, right,
that's their whole thing. So this one is about a
predator who is the smallest, weakest predator of his clan.
Go fuck yourself, whose father he is the smallest and
weakest predator For fuck sakes, It's essentially uh god damn it.

(01:01:53):
What was the fucking book they used to make you
read in high school? That's about like the the kid
who set sail and has to like kill an octopus
and ship it from what I'm talking.

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
About, Oh, I think so I can't remember the name.

Speaker 5 (01:02:07):
Of the fucking novella, but yeah, it's that. It's that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
You're so mad I haven't seen it. Yeah, well, I
think what pisses me off the most is like they
made the last one and it's good, so they're like, well,
then we'll let this guy make another one. And then
he is like, I'll do the problem that was with
all the other Predator movies. I'll do that instead of
doing the good thing that I've already done and proven

(01:02:37):
I know how to do. Yep, fucking bullshit.

Speaker 5 (01:02:43):
Anyways, Anyways, that's it. That's all I saw.

Speaker 4 (01:02:46):
What as you watched.

Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
I don't think I watched much this week. I did watch,
sort of in the vein of what we're talking about.
I watched a movie called Splatter University. It's a no
budget splatter film from nineteen eighty four. So this movie
opens up with it's a mental hospital. We're seeing the patients.

(01:03:11):
One of them is talking to a mannequin head. They're
all doing crazy shit. A doctor walks into a bathroom
and somebody stabs him right in the dick, right just
right in the dick, and you're like, oh, well, look
at that. And then it cuts and does like some
flashbacks to the other patients again, and we open it
up and like, clearly it's the patient that stabbed him

(01:03:33):
is like putting on the like the doctor's uniform so
he can escape, but he's like trying to figure out
how to close the coat to cover up all the
blood where the dick would go. And you're like, oh,
this is a great start to a movie. And the background,
the doctor's lay in there and he's like his throat
slit and he's naked except for his tidy weddies which
are covered in blood because he got stabbed in the
dick and you're like, this is so much fun. I'm

(01:03:55):
enjoying this a lot. Ah cut to a year later
and there's like a college campus and there's a new
teacher hired, and a lot of the movie is about
how she can't get her students to sit down and
be quiet and do their work, and I don't that's
not as fun to me, Like why is all this happening?

(01:04:19):
And then there's like a huge mystery going on. And
I won't spoil who the killer is because for somebody
this might be their first horror movie and they won't
figure it out right away. But for the rest of us,
we're gonna know the guy right away who it is.
And there's all this like nothing going on, and she's
like dating a guy, but who cares. Every now and

(01:04:43):
again there's a kill, and the kills are pretty fun.
And one of the girls she gets her throat slit
and they throw her in a dumpster. And then her
friends are like walk them by and they're drinking beer
in a taste bad, so they're throwing their empty beer
cans into the dumpster, and we get this overhead shot
of her laying in a dumpster and just beer ans
rainy count and that's pretty fun. But then they go

(01:05:04):
back to like talking and being boring for the rest
of the movie, which I I don't know why they
did so much of that. They should have just probably
had more killings in it unless trying to do anything else.
I don't know why they ever left the mental hospital
like that should have been we should have flashed back
to there a lot, because that was way more interesting
than this like shitty little budget college they were at.

(01:05:26):
So it's kind of a not recommend, except I would
probably recommend the first few minutes so you can watch
a guy gets stabbed in the dick, because I don't know,
I mean, this is nineteen eighty four too, Like RoboCup
hadn't even shot a guy in the dick yet, so
it's pretty advanced technology. It's like, this is what happens
when you don't have a budget and then RoboCop gets

(01:05:46):
the budget. Now they can shoot a guy in the dick.
So uh, not really a recommend, I don't it's yeah,
I mean again, I watch everything, so why not. But
watching that and then watching something like Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers
and realizing you can do a stupid splatter movie and

(01:06:07):
have fun with it and do it well, and you know,
it turns out not everyone can, so but yeah, that's
the only movie I watched this week. I started watching
a movie called The Vindicator. I got like twenty minutes
in and realized, not only have I seen it before,
but we did it on the show. So it's like,

(01:06:30):
wait a minute, I've seen this before that I like
checked the list, and I'm like, there it is. We
covered this a long time ago, so there's not even
any point in me developing opinions on it. I've already
yelled them into a microphone on a rewatch. I did
not enjoyed it enough to finish it when I realized
I've already seen it. So it's entirely possible that we

(01:06:53):
have way too many shows under our belt at this
point if I can't even remember that I've seen a
movie that we've covered, right.

Speaker 4 (01:07:05):
The only movie I watched is UH. It was up
with my girlfriend and her daughter up in their little
town and they have a new, restored, little UH one
screen theater in town. It does some stuff every once
in a while, and they've been re running a bunch

(01:07:25):
of retro movies, and the night I was there, they
were showing the ultimate director's cut of Rocky four, the
Rocky versus Drago version, the.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
The re done one from a couple of years ago.

Speaker 4 (01:07:42):
Yeah, they re edited yeah, the stallone redd Yeah, where.

Speaker 3 (01:07:45):
They try to make it into a serious movie.

Speaker 4 (01:07:48):
Yeah, And I haven't seen it yet, so I'm like, well,
if I could see in the theater, why not. So
we went to We went to that and uh, yeah,
they apparently took out all the ridiculous stuff with the
robot and uh, I don't know. I want to say
they tried to make it less cheesy.

Speaker 5 (01:08:03):
But it's impossible.

Speaker 4 (01:08:05):
There's still like three music montages within like ten minutes.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
Yeah, but that's way down from the original films. I
actually did the math once on the original film, and
it's like it's over half of the runtime is like
music videos. Basically, it's basically on TV. It's a bunch
of music videos. Some people pop up in between them
and talk a little bit. That's it. It's absurd, but

(01:08:30):
at least there's a robot in it.

Speaker 4 (01:08:32):
Now. I haven't seen the original cut in a while,
but I feel like we got to the Apollo Creed
fight sooner. Like I feel we just kind of jumped
right into that, and I don't remember if that's how
it is in the original one.

Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
No, it takes a little while to get to it
because we're we're sort of exploring Rocky's life at that
point and trying to, yeah, like set up the whole
thing where they're like getting older, having trouble living their
lives properly.

Speaker 4 (01:08:59):
Yeah, it's about the only thing I really noticed. I
would have to rewatch the theatrical cut and.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
See they're quite different in tone, like as different as
they can be when they dress that way and stuff,
because it's absurdly eighties.

Speaker 4 (01:09:17):
I did lean over at one point and told my girlfriend,
I'm like, man, so that's still one. Sweaters are pretty
epic in this movie.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
That's there's one scene. I'm trying to think of what
was going on in that scene. There's one scene where
he's trying to be dead serious and he's wearing this leg.
The only way I can describe it is it's like
what an old lady's coach would look like, but he's
got it as a sweater, and it's like, how are
you going to take him serious? In that thing? It's

(01:09:46):
I mean, and like to be fair, the original movie
was never serious, So to try to take something that's
so not serious and turn it into something serious is
quite an ask, right, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:09:59):
It's The good thing is like this theater like literally
just got re remodeled over the last year. So in
this small town. Soon he grew up in this guy
won the lottery, Like he had moved away, and then
he won the lottery and he came back to town and

(01:10:19):
he bought up a bunch of stuff in the town
to like remodel and stuff, because like they're downtown was
starting to kind of fall apart.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
That's pretty cool.

Speaker 4 (01:10:31):
And so he's bought up a lot of them. He
bought the local radio station and they revamped everything and
upgraded everything. And this it's it's an old this is
an old opera house that is since you know, in
the eighties was turned into like a movie theater slash

(01:10:52):
performance stage because like the screen lowers kind of the
stage and stuff and they can project movies. So they
remodeled every thing inside of it and upgraded everything within
the last year. So like the sound system's brand new.
And I got to say during the last fight, like
that sound system was was paying for itself because the

(01:11:15):
uh the floor was just vibrating. The music was super fantastic,
just like you had this awesome just sense of like,
oh shit, like you're in the middle of this fight.
So it was kind of cool to see it that way.

Speaker 3 (01:11:30):
Yeah, it's kind of neat to visit theaters and stuff too, Like,
I know you're a fan of that. I am.

Speaker 4 (01:11:34):
Oh yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (01:11:36):
Just found out that somewhere in my province is the
world's smallest purpose built movie theater. Really, it's like a
twelve seats in it or something, and I'm like, oh no,
I kind of want to go to that.

Speaker 4 (01:11:47):
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, So, I mean it's if you're
a fan of the Rocky movies. I still enjoyed it.
I do feel like there was a giant recap at
the beginning a part of three, though I don't remember
if that's on the theatrical cut or not, but.

Speaker 3 (01:12:05):
In a while since I watched either one.

Speaker 4 (01:12:07):
Yeah, it was just like a giant montage, but it
was like almost like small scenes playing out from like
even before the first time he fights mister T. So
I'm just like, wow, we're recapping a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:12:19):
Huh. Yeah, I think I might have extended in that cut.
I can't remember specifically though, probably, but yeah, I would
say if you're going to watch one kind of Rocky
for watch the original and just know that you're watching
something objectively absurd and like that's fine, that's what you're watching.

Speaker 4 (01:12:37):
Yeah, And I'm nostalgic about it because I saw that
shit in the theater when it came out. Really, my
parents took me and a friend of mine, and the
idea was because because the theater I grew up around
had two screens, So the idea was, me and my
friend were going to go watch Karate Kid Part two

(01:12:58):
and then my parents are going to go watch rock four.
And Karate Kid Part two was sold out, so all
four of us went to see Rocky four. So I
and I, you know, it's the eighties. I'm like seven,
so of course I love that movie.

Speaker 3 (01:13:15):
Well, And Rocky four is a fun movie, like it's
you can argue whether it's good or not, but it's fun, Like, yeah,
pretty inarguable that it's fun.

Speaker 4 (01:13:25):
And I did point out to Cindy that Sevestia Stalone
Aty and Rocky cures communism. He does because he says, hey,
if I can change, and you can change, we can
all change and communism fell.

Speaker 3 (01:13:39):
The next day, he brought the people together and had
everyone stop fighting.

Speaker 4 (01:13:48):
I guess I did like the juxtaposition of Drago's first
fight was in the United States, everybody boot him, and
then Rocky's fight was and the Soviet Union and everybody
boot him. But of course he won him over.

Speaker 6 (01:14:06):
Because he fought with such heart and soul, because that
matters anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:14:11):
Yeah, there was a simpler time. It was nineteen whatever,
eighty eight. It's it was just it was just an
easier time back when people still gave a shit about
stuff like that.

Speaker 4 (01:14:26):
Then, Uh, you know, I had to ruin the whole
experience for myself. By when the credits rolled we were
getting up, I'm like, well, that's it. That's Rocky four.
It's nice to know that getting a Rocky five. We
find out that he has brain damage from Drago punching
him so hard, and then he loses all of his money,
so now he's poor again. That's great, right, Well.

Speaker 3 (01:14:48):
To be fair, like, I think, if you look at
it from a timeline perspective, he was in the process
of losing sing his money in Rocky Fall. He just
didn't know you brought it on himself. Paulie be in
charge of your money.

Speaker 4 (01:15:03):
Right, Don't ever let PAULI make investment choices for you.

Speaker 3 (01:15:06):
Yeah, it's hard to have any sympathy for him.

Speaker 4 (01:15:14):
Part five. I've only seen it once and I just
remember it being fucking terrible.

Speaker 3 (01:15:18):
It's I saw a video the other day of Stallone
ranking the Rocky movies, and he's very high on himself.
I don't know if you know that about so Leister.
He's not exactly unbiased when it comes to.

Speaker 4 (01:15:30):
Discussing his own films, Like that's why he likes Trump
so much.

Speaker 3 (01:15:34):
On a scale of one to ten, I think like
every movie is like above a seven, except for Part five,
which is like a two. He hates it. It makes
me laugh.

Speaker 4 (01:15:50):
Yeah, m hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:15:53):
But the Rocky movies, for the most part, hold up,
you can. The only reason you need to watch five
is because six is really good, and I do remember
doing it doesn't make any sense if you don't watch five,
Like six is like like one is obviously the best one.
There's no there's not much room for discussion. And then

(01:16:13):
like three and four are fun, and then five is bad,
and then six is like almost as good as one,
and then that's when they Then after that they transition
into the Creed movies, which are actually quite good themselves.

Speaker 4 (01:16:26):
I've seen the first Creed movie. I've never watched the
other two. I need to get around to it.

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
First one is by far the best one, same as
the Rocky movies.

Speaker 4 (01:16:34):
It's like, yeah, but now that I've watched Rewatch part four,
I was like, oh, I got to get to the
Creed three with Drago's kid in it.

Speaker 3 (01:16:41):
Creed two has drug was kidding it no good? First three, well,
that's right.

Speaker 4 (01:16:46):
Three has Jonathan Major's in it. Yeah, because I was
actually curious about that one because I thought the storyline
actually sounded pretty good.

Speaker 3 (01:16:54):
It. Yeah, I have my issues with.

Speaker 4 (01:16:58):
It, but yeah, just the idea of them growing up
together and they both got in trouble, but then Creed's X,
you know, Creed's widow comes and bails him out, and
that guy has to go and live on, you know,
live on whatever life they were living together. Yeah, just
how that takes some different places.

Speaker 3 (01:17:17):
It's and it's I don't know, it's all right, except
for the fact that like the implication of like that
somehow this guy was automatically going to be like world champion.
It's like, well, if you remember in the first Creed,
he was like a child when you know, when when
he was rescued, you know what I mean, it wasn't

(01:17:38):
like it wasn't like they were our professional fighters already
and one of them got to move on and one
of them didn't. Yeah, And it was like it is
sort of implied that thinking Creed three, it's like, it's
not that they got in trouble before, it's like they
got in trouble after. Creed was living with Bill Cosby's wife,
who was actually married to Apollo Creed in that movie,

(01:18:00):
and it's like, so he was like living in this
rich neighborhood but sneaking out and going into getting into
trouble with for kids kind of thing.

Speaker 4 (01:18:08):
And it's like, yes, so then because he's rich, he
got off.

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
Yeah, which is like and it's like okay, but it's
also you're like trying to portray him as this like
he's he grew up in this rich mansion, but also
he's also kind of ass he's also like raised in
the hood. From the trouble you Yeah, it's kind of like, well,

(01:18:33):
which one is it? Because if you recall at the
beginning the first screen, he's like wearing a suit to
work every day and stuff and boxing on the side,
and that's the whole thing. Like he got top notch
education and all that. It's like, okay, but also he
was raised on the streets. Just you know, we forgot
about that. We forgot about that part for a while.

Speaker 1 (01:18:51):
Here's a brief glimpse of some of the truly find pictures.

Speaker 3 (01:18:54):
We scheduled him in the air future.

Speaker 4 (01:18:57):
Right next week. So work coming up on the holiday season,
sometimes during real Thanksgiving as we call it down here
in the United States. Sometimes it feels like being trapped
with our family is like being held hostage by terrorists.

Speaker 3 (01:19:18):
You're really working for this one.

Speaker 4 (01:19:20):
And so I'm just like, you know, it'd be better
if I wasn't home, as if I was in an
arena of some sort. Terrorists took that over. I don't know.
This is my way of saying, we're watching movies where
terrorists take over arenas. Oh, and only, of course one
person in the arena could possibly save us. And in

(01:19:44):
that first movie, it's gonna be Jean Claude van Dam
while hockey games going on. In the movie Sudden Death
from nineteen ninety five.

Speaker 5 (01:19:52):
Wait, didn't we already do sudden Death?

Speaker 1 (01:19:53):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:19:54):
And second movie is gonna be uh Dolph Lunder and
saving Everybody as a drummer for a rock band in
Command performance from two thousand and nine.

Speaker 3 (01:20:09):
Oh god, I the Kidneyses will be less mad about
that movie than I am about the Pardator movie. I'm
not seeing so.

Speaker 5 (01:20:22):
I swear didn't we do sudden death? Didn't we do
sudden death with sudden Death? Didn't we do two movies
called Sudden Death Mike Rising.

Speaker 3 (01:20:30):
I think that we might have at one point in
time tried to put that together, but there were so
many movies called sudden death that we could figure out
how to do it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:38):
Maybe uh search results for sudden death. So we did
Savage Streets and Sudden Death. But it's not the same
sudden death. I don't think, Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:20:53):
And then I was thinking we did Sudden Death and
Cliffhanger for some reason, but.

Speaker 3 (01:20:57):
Maybe we did. We definitely did Cliffhanger. What we teamed it.

Speaker 4 (01:21:01):
Up with sudden The sudden death we did it with
was with Savage Streets because they were both rap revenge movies,
which was not.

Speaker 3 (01:21:10):
It's the John Claude van dam One a Rapervene movie.
I can't remember.

Speaker 4 (01:21:13):
No, No, it is die Hard in a sports arena.

Speaker 3 (01:21:17):
I know it is. He kicks a dude wearing skates
I think, and gets slits his throat.

Speaker 4 (01:21:22):
Really, that was not very descriptive about what the movies
were in the post I made back in twenty eighteen
when we did it. This is this week. We're talking
about some raypervenge films, always a feel good topic. Also,
Noah gets mad at Brian and Doug for not being
into Ralph Bashki movies. We get a load of feedback

(01:21:44):
that's definitely changed, And Brian gets mad at Noah and
Doug when they don't care about a dream that he had.
All this and more, I.

Speaker 3 (01:21:52):
Still don't care about the dreams you have, just so
we're clear.

Speaker 4 (01:21:56):
Apparently this is when Scott's podcast Graveyard Duck was still going.

Speaker 3 (01:22:01):
Which one was that?

Speaker 4 (01:22:02):
It was the podcast he did right after he left
last for.

Speaker 3 (01:22:07):
Cast, Yeah, but which one was it? He's done.

Speaker 4 (01:22:11):
He's done like four cents then, just to put it
in perspective, perspective, the episode we're doing right now is
three hundred and sixty seven. I want to say, sure, uh,
The episode we did on Savage Streets in Sudden Death
was episode forty four Jesus Christ. So three hundred and

(01:22:37):
twenty odd episodes later, we're getting around a sudden death.

Speaker 5 (01:22:43):
You gus, You guys, remember, you guys, remember how long
ago it was we started doing this. I can't forgetting
that it's been so long.

Speaker 3 (01:22:54):
We remember how young we were when we started.

Speaker 4 (01:22:58):
Remember when Dog had a complete the different house than
he lived in this this other one burned down and
then they rebuilt it.

Speaker 5 (01:23:07):
Crazy. Time is weird to bring that up right?

Speaker 3 (01:23:12):
I almost forgot.

Speaker 4 (01:23:15):
That's how I measure time now is a Predug's fire
or post Dugs fire.

Speaker 3 (01:23:22):
I was thinking the other day, maybe it's time to
finally buy a winter coat and not just keep wearing
the one that was donated to me. I was literally
thinking about that because it's winter here now, so.

Speaker 4 (01:23:37):
I still have the same winter coat that I've had
for like twelve years.

Speaker 5 (01:23:41):
It's gonna say if it's if it's a nice donated coat,
it's fine.

Speaker 4 (01:23:45):
Every year I'm like, I need a new winter coat
and I never buy it.

Speaker 3 (01:23:50):
Well, we'll see if I fight it or not.

Speaker 4 (01:23:53):
I doubt you will, by the way, Uh, Command Performance.
I believe it's on two b okay Amazon primed down
here in the States, and I.

Speaker 3 (01:24:05):
Will tell you I'm not paying to see a two
thousand and nine Dolf Loundering movies.

Speaker 4 (01:24:08):
So Sudden Death is available to rent wherever.

Speaker 3 (01:24:13):
Yeah, okay, I'm sure it's available free somewhere too. It
feels like he could be on YouTube. It's old enough
to be on YouTube.

Speaker 4 (01:24:19):
Probably. I don't know why you're not excited about this
command performance.

Speaker 3 (01:24:25):
If it was, if you told me that in nineteen
eighty five there was a movie where Dolph Lundering is
the drummer in a band and he has to save
like the princess because she's the concert's taken over or whatever.
I'm all into it. It's the two thousand and nine
of it.

Speaker 4 (01:24:38):
That's the problem. I'm just saying, just give give Dolf
a chance.

Speaker 3 (01:24:47):
Well, I have no choice, so I will.

Speaker 4 (01:24:50):
But I wonder, I wonder if anybody else note.

Speaker 5 (01:24:55):
Is in this movie.

Speaker 3 (01:24:57):
No, that's my guess.

Speaker 4 (01:25:01):
Second, Bill, it is Melissa Mully Molinarrow who yep, uh
you remember Melissa?

Speaker 2 (01:25:11):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:25:11):
No, yeah, I don't recognize a single other person.

Speaker 3 (01:25:18):
No.

Speaker 4 (01:25:19):
I also want to point out Doug you're not only
getting the getting the glory of Dolph Lunder and being
in this movie. Apparently also was the writer director of
this movie.

Speaker 3 (01:25:32):
That's great. I will be going out of my way
to boor you guys to death with Pittsburgh Penguin factoids
during next week's shows.

Speaker 5 (01:25:42):
I mean, when was the last time you saw anything
that said written and directed by Dolph Lunder that turned
out to be bad?

Speaker 3 (01:25:53):
You know what? For all I know he's an excellent
writer director, because I don't know that I've ever I
think I've avoided everything that he's written in directed.

Speaker 5 (01:26:01):
I was gonna say, correct, that's the reason. That's the
reason why that's true, because you haven't ever seen anything.

Speaker 3 (01:26:07):
Why would I?

Speaker 4 (01:26:08):
Uh, all right, you want to hear some taglines for
this movie. I already used one of them, die hard
at a rock concert.

Speaker 3 (01:26:18):
They actually used that as a tagline.

Speaker 4 (01:26:20):
Apparently it's gonna be a killer show. Uh, rock and load.
That sounds like that does sound like a porno. This
show could be deadly. And then my favorite dying is easy,
rock and roll is hard.

Speaker 3 (01:26:39):
That's my that's my favorite, to be honest.

Speaker 5 (01:26:43):
Yeah, I mean that was that was actually kind of acceptable.

Speaker 3 (01:26:46):
They were lazy, though they were real direct to video taglines.
I think the movies we watched this week were better
than the movies were watching next week. That's that's my
official position, without having to even need to watch those
movies first.

Speaker 5 (01:26:59):
I mean, I'm having serious doubts that there is a
single hooker and or chainsaw next week.

Speaker 3 (01:27:07):
That could be a real problem. I guess they can
edit a hooker into anything.

Speaker 4 (01:27:11):
We don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:27:12):
It's been a while since I watched that John Claude
Bandam movie. I know he's with his kids, but does
he leave them in the seats to go off of
the hooker? I can't recall.

Speaker 4 (01:27:20):
Apparently Command Performance was released theatrically in Indonesia and I
did Arab Emirates Oman Bahrain and kuwait yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:27:32):
It feels right.

Speaker 5 (01:27:33):
I was gonna say, you know what. The only thing
I can remember from the Van Dam movie is that
at some point somehow he switches place with the goalie
in the game and he makes a huge career saving
catch with everybody thinking it was that goalie, and then
he waves to his son.

Speaker 3 (01:27:53):
Like doesn't wave to him. I believe, makes like a
special hand gesture that they yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:27:57):
Yeah, so he know, it's like, yep, that's a thing
that happened in this movie.

Speaker 3 (01:28:03):
It's a great deal of respect they have for professional
hockey players that just a random firefighter can just go
out there and take over for the goalie in the
middle of an NHL game, and no, it'll notice.

Speaker 5 (01:28:15):
Not just that. Part of the plot of that is
that that goalie has been having a horrible, horrible season
and is on the decline, and so he goes out
and makes this huge save and everybody thinks it's a
miracle that this shitty goalie gets the save or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:28:34):
I suspect that even the worst NHL goaltender is still
better than your average fireman at the time.

Speaker 5 (01:28:40):
I also believe that is correct.

Speaker 3 (01:28:43):
I'm not sure if anyone's done any studies on it yet,
so we don't know for sure.

Speaker 4 (01:28:47):
But look, I'm just saying I'm excited for next week.
I don't care. What are you the want of?

Speaker 3 (01:28:54):
You say, no explanation necessary.

Speaker 6 (01:28:59):
I just am.

Speaker 5 (01:29:00):
We're watching a random Dolph movie. If it's shitty, I'm
still gonna have a good times.

Speaker 3 (01:29:06):
Again. Two thousand and nine. I've heard he did this
movie to earn money to fund one of his experiments,
what he actually wants to be doing with this slice.

Speaker 4 (01:29:18):
I had heard because the whole reason this movie was
on my radars because I heard another podcast talk about
how great it was. I heard because he's a drummer,
throws a drumstick in it and pales and one of
the terrorist eyeballs. How could you not be excited about that?

Speaker 3 (01:29:35):
Because because it's two thousand and nine and they're gonna
do it with CGI, That's why I'm not excited about
it again, same premise, everything the same, but nineteen eighty
seven I'm in.

Speaker 5 (01:29:46):
The worst thing is if you told me that Dolph
Lungren is also actually an amazing fucking drummer in real life,
I would be like, that's really true and fucking him?
What the fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:29:56):
Man?

Speaker 4 (01:29:57):
Like I don't I don't know about the but according
to this movie's trivia, he is a drummer in real life.

Speaker 5 (01:30:03):
I just the dude. The dude was the Punisher and
is a like a legit genius and was Drego.

Speaker 4 (01:30:12):
And was he man, and he man. Whether he was
good or not, that's a different story.

Speaker 3 (01:30:17):
He was he man. That's what's important.

Speaker 5 (01:30:21):
Listen, you can't blame golf for that fucking movie.

Speaker 4 (01:30:26):
I mean, sure, the same line deliveries, but maybe that's
the director's fault.

Speaker 5 (01:30:31):
Listen Gwildore and they said it in the real world,
that movie was doomed.

Speaker 3 (01:30:38):
Gildoor is fine. I don't blame Gildor is maybe the
best thing about that movie.

Speaker 4 (01:30:44):
The next movie is also doing to take place in
the real world, which I'm just like, does nobody learn.

Speaker 3 (01:30:50):
They don't. They don't learn. What do we just talk
about with predator movies? They don't. They don't want to learn.
They want to make shitty movies. It's like it's like
a fucking conspiracy to updown movie theaters. It's like, what
if we just make enough bad movies that people stop
coming altogether, We'll keep complaining about it, like it's other
people's fault for not coming, even though obviously if we

(01:31:10):
put a good movie in they'd go to it. Fucking stupid, stupid, cocksucking,
fucking Hollywood. Oh, I'm mad about that he Man movie
being in the real world.

Speaker 5 (01:31:22):
Too, But is it I say, I thought it was
supposed to be the opposite. This time. It was going
to be somebody from the real world getting stepped into Eternia.

Speaker 4 (01:31:31):
I've seen pictures of he man wearing a bright pink
button up shirt walking around the streets of whatever city
he's drawn into.

Speaker 5 (01:31:42):
Yeah, well weep, fuck me, fuck me.

Speaker 3 (01:31:44):
For like, I don't know, man like that again, It's like,
I'm just maybe gonna not go, like, are they gonna
put out a fucking Masters's of the Universe movie and
I'm gonna not see it?

Speaker 4 (01:31:54):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:31:55):
Is that what's about to happen?

Speaker 4 (01:31:56):
I think so.

Speaker 3 (01:32:00):
I wouldn't have thought that was possible.

Speaker 4 (01:32:05):
I was scrolling through some stuff today and was like, oh, yeah,
I never did see that last Terminator movie, And I'm
just like, yeah, they put out Terminator movies and I'm
just like, who cares? What even was the last one,
Dark Fate, the one where Linda Hamilton came back?

Speaker 3 (01:32:20):
Oh yeah, that was shit.

Speaker 4 (01:32:22):
I never saw it.

Speaker 3 (01:32:23):
You know what was shit was all the Terminator movies after, like,
because even three is not terrible. Four is not a
Terminator movie, but it's an okay movie. And then they're
just like, what if we did everything wrong? After that?
Just everything wrong? See?

Speaker 5 (01:32:41):
I feel like the Terminator Franchise is a very good
horror movie, followed by one of the best action movies
are followed by a few decades of bullshit.

Speaker 3 (01:32:56):
I mean, yeah, you're not.

Speaker 4 (01:32:57):
Wrong, You're yeah, you're not wrong.

Speaker 5 (01:32:59):
I mean that's where we're at. And they keep it
just keeps going, just like it doesn't fucking stop. A
few decades of bullshit, people are still paying for tickets.

Speaker 4 (01:33:11):
Well, and even cart out James Cameron to be like
James help us. He comes up with like a like
a story idea. I don't know if he just like
quickly doodles on a napkin is like here you go,
and then they try to make a movie around it
and it sucks, but yeah, Jesus.

Speaker 3 (01:33:28):
He goes as far as to doodle it on a
napkin or doodled on a napkin that like the terminator
was selling carpets or whatever the fuck carpets or curtains
or something I can't remember. They don't want to.

Speaker 4 (01:33:43):
What if because I mean Schwarzenegger obviously he just doesn't
hold the cachet that he used to obviously, But like
if they make like a new Coneyan movie with him,
would you be interested, Like if he's doing the old
Man King Conan type.

Speaker 3 (01:33:59):
Stuff, that concept interests me, I'd have to see trailers.
I'm also not the world's biggest conan.

Speaker 4 (01:34:05):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm just trying to think of Schwarzenegger's greatest hits, Like,
what what could he do that would actually draw some attention?

Speaker 3 (01:34:14):
A Raw Deal sequel?

Speaker 4 (01:34:16):
Agreed? Jim Belushi has just got that fucking pot farm
up in Oregon.

Speaker 6 (01:34:22):
Now, so that's where you said it, just Arnold?

Speaker 4 (01:34:28):
Does the Russian guy coming back over to or that
was Red Heat's Red Heat?

Speaker 3 (01:34:33):
Yeah? No, Raw Deals the one where he he last
we saw him, he was being reinstated into the FBI
because he did such a job murdering people.

Speaker 5 (01:34:41):
So, oh, okay, I's gonna say kindergarten cop.

Speaker 4 (01:34:48):
They did a kindergarten cop too with Dolph Lunder.

Speaker 5 (01:34:51):
Yeah, but the list, now we do three Bring back,
Bring them both back.

Speaker 4 (01:34:59):
There both undercover at the same school and realize it. Yeah,
oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:35:04):
They shoot out in the teacher's loud before they both
realize that they're both guys.

Speaker 5 (01:35:09):
Die die hard. But it's two teachers.

Speaker 4 (01:35:14):
Bring back. Miko Hughes. He's like a teacher at the
school now because he's old enough, but he still walks
around and saying boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.

Speaker 3 (01:35:25):
I mean he's still it's it was considered a given
at the time. Now it's a little bit. Oh no,
he's a statement.

Speaker 4 (01:35:33):
He's a sex head teacher. So he gets to work
it in to work the line.

Speaker 3 (01:35:37):
In he no, no, listen, you make it can set
in contemporary times. He's the guy trying to keep trance
girls off of girls sports like girls. That's the concept there.

Speaker 5 (01:35:57):
I mean you basically turn him into the you can
do it Rob Schneider character, But that's his entire job
is just to pop up occasionally and scream that like
an idiot.

Speaker 4 (01:36:09):
No, what if he's the villain? Now? Yeah, he's the villain.

Speaker 3 (01:36:13):
Obviously, it's obviously this is a whole Hollywood movie where
you're gonna be in favor of the trans athletes being
on the whatever team that they identify as.

Speaker 4 (01:36:25):
Yeah, maybe you live long enough to see yourself become
the villain. He's the villain.

Speaker 3 (01:36:32):
Now what if he learns his lesson At the end
of the movie though, and just as like as the
credits are rolling, he's like, maybe sometimes boys have a
vagina and girls have a penis, and then it just
fades to black.

Speaker 5 (01:36:49):
It really was a kindergarten cup.

Speaker 4 (01:37:00):
Uh, all right, we're we could not do a ship.
We mus a lot to do. The podcast consist end.

Speaker 1 (01:37:07):
Please remember to replace the speaker on the post when
you leave the.

Speaker 8 (01:37:11):
Theater and our folks, it's time to say good night.
We sincerely appreciate your patronage and hope we've succeeded in
bringing you an enjoyable evening of entertainment.

Speaker 4 (01:37:30):
Please drive home carefully and come back again soon. Good Night,