August 10, 2025 • 27 mins
In this episode of The Weekly Roundup, Father Malone and Ms. Ripley Jean touch on the legacy of Robert E. Howard's 'Conan the Barbarian,' including its adaptations and influence in pop culture. They also highlight the new body horror film 'Together' with Alison Brie and Dave Franco.
00:00 Welcome Back Midnight Viewers
01:35 Patreon Shoutouts and New Shows
05:13 Diving into Conan the Barbarian
14:38 Together
25:41 Closing Remarks and Upcoming Episodes
Father Malone
@Midnight_Viewing
FatherMalone71@gmail.com
patreon.com/fathermalone
Nightmare in Vegas
https://nightmareinvegas.com/
A YEAR IN HORROR
https://a-year-in-horror.simplecast.com/
CONAN THE CIMMERIAN fan film
https://youtu.be/uoQAE6iRmmg?si=DaiC36gJPur4X6Uk
00:00 Welcome Back Midnight Viewers
01:35 Patreon Shoutouts and New Shows
05:13 Diving into Conan the Barbarian
14:38 Together
25:41 Closing Remarks and Upcoming Episodes
Father Malone
@Midnight_Viewing
FatherMalone71@gmail.com
patreon.com/fathermalone
Nightmare in Vegas
https://nightmareinvegas.com/
A YEAR IN HORROR
https://a-year-in-horror.simplecast.com/
CONAN THE CIMMERIAN fan film
https://youtu.be/uoQAE6iRmmg?si=DaiC36gJPur4X6Uk
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Weird, weird.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Welcome back midnight viewers. Been a while. I'm Father Alone.
Sit next to me and her codependent glory is Miss
Ripley Jean. Yes you are, Yes, we are. You need
me for food and shelter, and I need you to
wake me up after I've been asleep for twenty minutes
to let me know. You definitely heard a monster lurking
somewhere in the vicinity. That was one time, and it
(01:17):
was a goblin, which are more pests than anything. But
you're right. You're a good guard dog, just a potato
with legs and all other regards. Let me ask you something, Pittsburgh, Hi,
you sleeping anyone? Remember King Kaiser. I realized I should
retitle the show to simply the round Up, but I'm
doing my best y'all. Twice a week is serious business.
Speaking of that, thank you to all my patrons. I
(01:38):
didn't realize that there were that many of you. I
just show up and post a new episode and hope
you're enjoying, and you seem to be. That's Patreon dot
com slash fatherm Alone. We've got new shows only available there.
And of course everything early, and I'm not talking day
before early man, unless I just finished it and it
comes out the next day. Of course, I'm talking weeks
in advance, speaking of new shows or legacy sequels. Chris, you,
(02:00):
our frequent collaborator here at Midnight Viewing, has an all new, reconfigured,
primed and pumped, fresh coat of paint version of the
Culture Cast, debuting a much more personalized version of the show.
I've heard an early episode. Check him out. He's got
a Patreon too. Everyone's got a Patreon, And since we're
talking Patreon, I'm so excited to announce I'll be featured
(02:21):
on a Patreon exclusive show with Paul Waller, the host
of a Year in Horror podcast. It'll be on his
Patreon feed, and then once the entire series is complete,
will be available to the non paying public. But that's
like a year off at least. The show is called
Little Old Lady Got Mutilated Late last night? Can you
guess the subject? If you can, you're cool if you can't.
(02:44):
It's a werewolf show. We're looking at like aanthropy through
the Ages, starting with mister Lon Cheney and the wolf Man.
We've already got a couple of episodes done and they
are a fucking blast. If you want to hear what
that will sound like, you can check out Paul on
a previous episode of Midnight Viewing where we discussed George
Romero and Stephen King's and I think might be my
favorite movie of all time. Sorry, don of the Dead,
(03:06):
You're still in the family. Creep show. And if you
head over to Paul's show, A Year in Horror, the
best horror podcast out there, better than this yep might
be this month he is looking at the works of
Wes Craven and I'm on the first episode talking about
my main man swamp thing. And check out episode four
of his West Craven series. I got to Paul before
(03:28):
he went to press, and he graciously allowed a rebuttal
on his show. He is fucking awesome. A Year in
Horror is fucking awesome. You know what else is awesome? Halloween,
and it's coming every year. The spooky season begins a
little earlier than Skeletons and ghosties start popping up for
purchase in the late July, but the actual witching season
is October. And to start the festivities right, come to
(03:50):
Las Vegas. We don't have leaves changing or a chill
that seems down into your bones. But we will have
hot rods in horror every witch away. Mark that calendar.
October fourth and fifth, twenty twenty five, at the Silverton
Hotel and Casino, the Nightmare in Vegas Convention and Car Show.
They've got guests, they've got vendors, they've got blood and
(04:11):
gore and so much more. And this year they've got
midnight viewing. That's right, We're going to be on display
for both days of the convention. Stop by and argue
with me about Tales from the Crypt. It's bad you're
blinded by nostalgia. That message is for Lono specifically, but
all of you, really, And it won't be just me,
Oh no, no, no. Winging in from Beantown will be
(04:33):
mister h P. Come to the booth and make him
compose you a diddy. He's quite good at that. Also
joining us will be the aforementioned Chris Stash you from
the Culture cast, winging in from Wheatville. Isn't that what
Nebraska is known for? Just a whole state designed to
murder me? Not featured Mike White because he's selfish, Detroit
versus everybody, indeed, So come down to the Silverton Casino
(04:57):
on October fourth and fifth, Nightmare in Vegas. Let me
tell you something, Las Vegas in autumn is fucking heavenly.
I'll push no more, but I will put links in
the show notes to all of this Malarkey. Hit these
people up and let him know Father Malone sent you. You
know where it isn't fucking heavenly. The High Borian Age.
That's where I've been spending too much of my time lately.
(05:17):
You remember the high Borian Age, between the times when
the ocean strank Atlantis and the rise of the suns
of Arius. It was an age undreamed of. I'm talking,
of course, about Robert Howard's Conan the Barbarian. Have I
been watching the movie on a loop for weeks? Or
have I been going back through the novels and fragments
of novels and trying to separate that fucking villain El
Sprague de camp. I hope I mispronounced that from Howard's
(05:39):
original work. Maybe you might not know this. Robert E.
Howard was a Texas lunatic who wrote a ton of
pulp adventures featuring a ton of diverse characters in supporting roles.
In the main role, he kept recycling and reusing the
same hero in different garb, bound by the different rules
of the different ages, the true distilled version being Conan,
the Conan, the Barbarian, Conan, the King. If I'm being
(06:03):
totally honest with you, Conan is my second favorite Howard
hero I'm a sucker for a pilgrim fighting demons, which
is a fascil way to describe his righteous puritan Solomon Kine.
They made a film about him a few years back,
with James Purefoy in the lead. He was okay. The
movie was okay, which is a drag because it has
some fucking great moments in it. It was an abandoned
(06:24):
and or shelved production and ultimately relies too much on
cgi that never had enough time or money to sustain it,
though it is worth a look. It almost gets the
spirit of the books, which is my way of saying,
read the Solomon k novels. You can read them all
in a couple of days. They're great stuff. Anyway, Robert E. Howard,
did you know he was pen pals with H. P. Lovecraft.
(06:45):
It's true they had spirited discussions about their individual created universes,
Howard's Hyborian age and Lovecraft's old God Mythos. You should
read those two. So Howard ekes out in existence, ekes
out in existence, and it all ended horribly. But his
human drama was just the fucking appetizer. Because Howard is
dead in nineteen thirty six, his father continues publishing the
(07:07):
books through the forties to pretty great success. The editor
of those novels is the prick I named el Sprague
de Camp. When the popularity of Conan was apparent, to
Camp and a few others began expanding the Adventures of Conan,
which is fine, extended universes are what they are. But
de Camp started engaging what is euphemistically referred to as pastiche,
which is a ten cent way to say he rewrote
(07:29):
a lot of Howard's original work. The motivation supposedly was
to get the character more in line with all of
the future adventures. Well, fuck that, man, you're not George Lucas.
This ain't Star Wars. It's stupid shit too, Like adding
the numbers of armies there were three thousand Volusians. Oh thanks,
I'm sure Howard, meticulous in his own writing, left that
(07:50):
out accidentally. Not only that, De Camp then suppressed all
of the original work from being reprinted. That way, he's
drawing a salary and has control of all of Conan
and the motherfucker wrote a biography of Robert Howard that
is less than charitable anyway. No, I haven't been watching
the movie or rereading the novels or watching the TV series.
Remember that Conan the Adventurer. They figured another muscled guy
(08:13):
with Germanic name equals instant Conan incorrect or the cartoon.
Have you seen the Conan cartoon? I mean cartoons plural.
That first animated film was another Conan the Adventurer that
was in ninety three. That one was such a huge success.
I mean we're really all still talking about it. That
the very next year they released Conan and the Young Warriors.
(08:33):
They are terrible. Actually, there's a fan made a tribute
film on YouTube called Conan the Sumerian by a fellow
named Alan Segwin. If they made that into an animated series,
it'd be something special. Check the show notes. I have
neither been engaged with any of that media, nor have
I been reading the many many comic books. You ever
hear Quentin Tarantino talk about Conan, it's usually in the
(08:55):
framework of the John Millias film, But any talk of
the character outside of that is completely and utterly rooted
in the Marvel comics of the seventies. He seems to
have no other frame of reference. It's super weird. So
not them. Not the board games. Oh my god. Remember
the Conan Unchained module for D and D. No, you don't,
(09:15):
but it was great. He had his own role playing
game in eighty five. No, I'm talking video games, and
there have been a lot if you were unlucky enough
to be a Conan fan. Back in eighty four we
got Conan The Hall of Volta, which was basically a
mashup of Donkey Kong and Jungle Hunt. What a crashing disappointment.
Then I want to say ninety one there was a
(09:35):
top down gauntlet style Conan, which was a little better
because at least the figures resembled humans. Most recently we
had Conan Exiles. There are a lot of proponents for it.
I have still yet to dip my toe because somehow
I'd missed out on the two thousand and seven Xbox
three sixty game simply called Conan.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Mother nature can be brutal when she wants to be. Huh,
I knew a man once who thought he could take
her power use it as his own. Imagine that. Perhaps
tonight I'll tell you a new story, her story of adventure,
dark magic and Conan. Listen, I will tell you a
(10:14):
tale of an age undreamed of, When shining kingdoms lay
spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars.
Hither came Conan, the Simarian, black haired, sullen eyed, sword
in hand, a thief, a weaver, a slayer, to tread
(10:39):
the jeweled thrones of the earth under his sandaled feet.
Conan's lust for adventure in gold led him to Balmoria,
a solitary island lost to the far western sea. He
made his way toward a long forgotten tomb on the
(10:59):
high peak, and there he did.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Back Where in crom have you been all my life? Look?
Conan is Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is Conan. If
you asked anyone to describe Conan, you're getting Arnold. And
that trend continued in that TV show and the remake
with Jason Momoa muscle Bound Conan slashing through the wilderness.
But that's not how he's described, and most of the
(11:23):
early illustrations have a pretty fit looking fella. But the
reason I'm convinced in the character's continued popularity through the sixties,
thus propelling it into the seventies when filmmakers became interested,
were the illustrations done by mister Frank Frizetta. Now, he
is no slunch when it comes to over muscled behemoths,
but his Conan wasn't that. He's the ideal of physical perfection.
(11:44):
But it's all coiled and sleek with a mop of
black hair raining down except for his bangs. Yes, Conan
has bangs a proscenium to showcase his ice blue eyes.
It's the best version of the character we're ever going
to get, and it is the model for con in
this game. I'm actually glad I didn't find it earlier.
What a fucking treat to be controlling Frizeta characters in
(12:07):
a Frazetta world, and it's oh so fucking violent. I
found myself doing terrible things. I mean, it's to cannibals
who are trying to eat you and fell beasts from
the Stygian depths, but good lord, the bloodshed and nudity
out of nowhere. Conan is a voiced perfectly by Ron Perlman,
who'd end up being Conan's dad in the Momoa remake.
(12:27):
I keep trying with that movie. There's just something off.
Tell me what it is. Listeners also in the show notes. Anyway,
The gameplay is basically God of War, which is no
surprise given it came out in two thousand and seven.
But I'll take that engine in that style gameplay if
it means I get to battle alongside the Queen of
the Black Sales. That is another cool aspect. Most Conin
games are original stories. This is a Howard original with
(12:50):
a lot of embellishment, but the embellishment seem mostly drawn
from other Conan tails in the Howard's cycle of books.
There's a little too much simple problem solving and carry
this big rock over the stone alter kind of shit.
But when it's cooking, Oh boy, is that why I've
been exhausted every day at work last week? That's right,
But that's okay because I know what's best in life.
(13:10):
By the way, everyone loves that scene. Everyone repeats that
quote Crossia enemies, blah blah blah. The best part of
that scene is the opening, when Conan's swordmaster is speaking
to another across the table, and he says, my fear
is that my sons will never understand me. And that's it.
That's his only dialogue for the entire film. Where's his movie?
Where's his legacy comic book or anthology novel? Anyway? Conan
(13:33):
Xbox three sixty, two thousand and seven, a video game
from twenty years ago based on a character whose continued
popularity is based on a film from forty years ago,
based on a series of stories from nearly one hundred
years ago. I'm keeping things current here at the roundup,
or you know what, maybe I'm being precient. Oliver Stone's
original draft of Conan the Barbarian, heavily rewritten by Milius,
obviously wasn't set in an age long ago. He had
(13:56):
the High Borean age in the future, after we'd wiped
ourselves out. Who knows, Maybe I'm training to be the
next SUBATAI. We'll see the way things are going. I
wouldn't be surprised. Oh man, do you remember the Cone
of the Barbarians stunt show at Universal Studios? That fucking
big set, that fucking laser tunnel like they had in
one of those Frankie goes to Hollywood relaxed videos. How
many videos did you need? Guys? And then at the
(14:18):
end they had a fucking dragon come out. Oh man,
I want to be in that show. Bring it back.
I'll start lifting.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
No, I won't ever stop talking about Conan the Barbarian
hate it HP, Thank you HP. Are we ever going
to get the monkey cam? Body horror? There's been a resurgence?
Was there a resurgence?
Speaker 3 (14:46):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
There was not Body Horror fans, And I'm addressing you
directly now you have my admiration. Truly, I can't do it.
I mean I have and I will continue to, but
I finally had to accept that body horror just ain't
my but those of you who love it, and those
that do really love it. You are a rare breed,
(15:06):
not satisfied with gulies and ghosties, unimpressed with masked mute slashers.
You scoff at serial killers and frown at folksy horror.
To you, the substance was a sitcom. To you, Cronenberg
at Christmas time is completely natural. You've clearly come to
terms with this meat engine strung on bones, with a
fleshy thinking mass trapped in a cranium that we all
(15:28):
inhabit and may crom bless you. Sorry, it just came out.
How else to describe your gillie in watching said flesh
bubble and ooze and mutate and to drip and bleh.
Boy that I mentioned I'm not a body horror fella.
I also mentioned Cronenberg. He is the patron saint of
body horror, mainly due to the fact that, even though
he was mired in exploitation, he never seemed to stoop
(15:51):
to it. Even something as rabbit as rabbit has an
air of respectability to it, so when he started forcing
audiences to stare at the terror contained within the human body,
it was a bit easier to take than something like
Parasite three D or The Incredible Melting Man. I go
so far as to say Cronenberg legitimized the genre when
he completely mutated Jeff Goldblum into a no longer human
(16:12):
monstrosity in The Fly Is the Thing a body horror movie?
It's gotta be well. I guess that makes John Carpenter
the king of body horror. Sorry, Dave, you know I
attended the premiere of Dead Ringers, Cronenberg's twin Surgeon Body
horror film with Jeremy Irons and Genevieve Bougoux. This is
nineteen eighty eight, So I'm fifteen and Cronenberg is in
(16:34):
the lobby talking to someone. So I stand a few
feet off, waiting for an opportunity to say something fumbling
and awkward, And as the conversant finally leaves, I step
into say hello, and his wife swoops in, looking straight
at me and says to him me, we have to go.
And Cronenberg looks at me for way too long and
then turns and walks off, not a word, not even
(16:57):
a what are you gonna do? Shrug? Like I wasn't
even there. So love you, Dave, Fuck you, Dave. John
Carpenter is the king of body Horror. Where am I
going with this? Can I bring it all together? Yes?
I just did. Segs are my speciality. I saw the
new Body Horror film together. Anyone order a trailer?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I love you?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Okay? What's going on? I don't know?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Since the move, Tim and I haven't been on the
same page. Please?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Do you love each other? Maybe we're just complacent, imaginable?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
I think, well, you know, complacency sometimes since we be
happy to give harmony, you know, This could be the
(18:13):
beginning roll over that you're a mayor of something wonderful.
We spend our lives in search of the other half.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
If you think you found.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
That, don't be so quick to let it go.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I think something's happening to us. We've got to get
out of here.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
It's gonna be okay, okay, Elly, why God, he'p yourk
whiskey for the pain boy.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Any chance to hear the Turtles song Happy Together is
a good one. And that's any cover including that one now.
That does not mean send me terrible covers of the
Turtles Happy Together, you fiends, I love that song. Well,
Michael Shanks, that's a name we're going to be hearing
a lot. I suspect he is the writer director of
Together Now. He'd done some shorts and some television work
(19:55):
in Australia, so this is his debut. Fuck you, Michael Shanks.
So much goddamn talent, so much assurance. In previous episodes,
I've mentioned the unwarranted hate of Wes Anderson's productions, because
whatever the content, they're an assured style and that's what
we've been getting lately. Not as mannered as Wes Anderson
of course, but as meticulous and considered Talk to Me
(20:17):
was a fucking home run. If you haven't seen that,
go watch it right now, Barbarian again, go watch here Tic,
stop the show and go watch Though this isn't the
first time we've talked about that Hugh Grant and Sophie
Thatcher shocker. Anyway, Shank demonstrates such a seasoned vision for
the film that I wouldn't be shocked to know it
was his tenth feature and not his first. Style goes
(20:38):
a long way in telling a story, and he's got
that down as well as the storytelling chops. The film
stars real life couple Alison Brie and Dave Franco. I
love Alison Brie unabashedly. She's one of those performers who
is so good in a rolled that the first time
you see them, you assume that is them. Such was
Alison Bree when I first saw her as Trudy Campbell
on mad Men, and actually we all seem pretty close
(21:00):
to that character and enthusiasm. But she followed that up
with a mousey turn in Community and from there it's
been as varied and as interesting as any actor currently working.
And yes, she's fucking adorable, an Elfin Brunette with blue eyes.
She could be a Frizetta drawing. Actually, oh my god,
somebody make an Alison Brie painting in the style of Frizetta.
Speaking of they're making that Masters of the Universe flick
(21:21):
right now. She's playing Evil Lynn. They already have my money.
As I always felt bad for Dave Franco starting a
career in the shadow of the tornado of talent and
creepitude that is his brother James, but he's always delivered
solid comedic performances. Did I say unabashedly earlier? That's also
my love for his flick twenty one Jump Street. I
(21:43):
could watch that movie on a loop and I have
unabashed I say, he's really good in that film, subtle
in an incredibly unsubtle environment. And since then it's been James.
Oh yeah, he's Dave Franco's brother, and fucking good for him, man,
because he and Alison Brie are not only the stars
but the producers of this film. So if his instincts
(22:03):
are leading him here like Shankman, I'm really curious to
see what he does in the future. They're both great here,
by the way, no surprise though, I was wildly impressed
with Alison Breeze flexibility. Jesus she needs no special effects.
They play Tim and Milly, a mid thirties couple who've
decided to say goodbye to their Manhattan life and settle
in the country, where Milli has been hired as a
(22:24):
teacher in the tiny towns even smaller school. I say
they've decided, but really Milly has decided. Tim is a
musician who was once on a label but has fallen
off and now basically attends to Milly while still clinging
to the hope of music stardom. Once they've settled in
their very rural home, the house is surrounded by woods,
not a forest. Woods man deep and dark, and don't
(22:46):
go out there after nightfall. On a hike intended to
rekindle their fallow relationship, they fall into a cave where
all sorts of terrifying shit occurs and gets the plot
in motion. I'd say the mcguffin driving the movie is
ultimately unnecessary, but Shane manages a pretty nifty trick In
each of those sequences. He suffuses his jump scares with dread.
He does it a lot. They're not telegraphed and they
(23:08):
don't feel like a cheat. And if this man ever
makes a movie about nightmares, we are all doomed. Scary
fucking imagery in this flick, brav fucking' oh man. Body
horror has taken many forms and themes over the years.
Hey is the wolfman body horror? American werewolf in London says, yes,
get me, Paul Waller, We've got a new angle on.
(23:30):
Little old lady got mutilated late last night? Can you
tell I love saying? Body horror at its core is
fear of transformation that has manifested as parables, of sex,
of mutation, of addiction, of self loathing, but codependency. Way
to surf the zeitgeist, motherfucker, and what better way to
do it than with an actual married couple just an
(23:51):
extra side of fucked up coleslaw. Melli and Tim start
finding each other completely irresistible, magnetic even and anytime they're
in contact they just can't seem to separate. This results
in the requisite skin crawling and stomach churning so loved
by the body horror community, which is almost entirely done practically.
It would seem though any enhancements made with a computer.
(24:14):
I guess We're welcome because it never felt uncanny. This
is not a spoiler. I'm not trying to spoil this
movie at all. But these two start coalescing anytime they're together,
and it is disturbing and awful and so much fucking
fun seriously and funny. The movie is effortlessly funny, not
set up Joe hahaha, but natural laughs throughout as the
(24:34):
characters interact with each other and their new and unthinkable situation.
Those characters remain strong throughout, exploring all these agonizing themes
of love and commitment and complacency and yeah, codependency. I
myself am wildly codependent. You are listening to a man
who has been in heavy relationships every day since he
was sixteen until about ah four years ago, more than
(24:57):
three decades, so I understand the pull and the need
and the rudderless feeling without And maybe this movie struck
a nerve a little harder with me, but that isn't
why I'm recommending it overall. Codependency as a theme is fine,
and it is a fucking innovation, But the real innovation
here has made the first truly accessible body horror film.
It's got a level of restraint lacking in most help.
(25:21):
Most are just like, look how fucking gross this is.
And while there's no shortage of revulsion tinged moments in
the film, it isn't trying to dislodge your lunch. I
know purists will cry it's like a PG version when
the unrated Triple X Director's cut is available, But have
some mercy on us body, horror people. We're still worried
about the creature from the Black Lagoon. And that's this
(25:42):
week's a round up. Thank you all once again for
tuning in and listening to me ramble. Tune in again
this Friday. We've got Yaucha Fest returning. What's a Yaucha
it's the actual name of the Predator, So HP and
I are cloaking ourselves and running unseen through Predator iiO.
That's the La based Predator flick with day Any Glover
and the World's Worst actress Maria Cancheta Alonso that is
(26:03):
available Friday. Patreon subscribers have had it at least a week.
Plug plug Okay, I'm gonna get out of here. Check
the fucking show notes. It's gonna be bursting with fruit
flavors for ripley Geen I'm Father Malone. We leave you
now with some wise words.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
I'm howling around your kitchen door.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
You better not get him in. Little old lady again
you related to day last night We're Wolves of Thunder
and again, Wolves of Nation.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Show show, show, show
Weird, weird.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Welcome back midnight viewers. Been a while. I'm Father Alone.
Sit next to me and her codependent glory is Miss
Ripley Jean. Yes you are, Yes, we are. You need
me for food and shelter, and I need you to
wake me up after I've been asleep for twenty minutes
to let me know. You definitely heard a monster lurking
somewhere in the vicinity. That was one time, and it
(01:17):
was a goblin, which are more pests than anything. But
you're right. You're a good guard dog, just a potato
with legs and all other regards. Let me ask you something, Pittsburgh, Hi,
you sleeping anyone? Remember King Kaiser. I realized I should
retitle the show to simply the round Up, but I'm
doing my best y'all. Twice a week is serious business.
Speaking of that, thank you to all my patrons. I
(01:38):
didn't realize that there were that many of you. I
just show up and post a new episode and hope
you're enjoying, and you seem to be. That's Patreon dot
com slash fatherm Alone. We've got new shows only available there.
And of course everything early, and I'm not talking day
before early man, unless I just finished it and it
comes out the next day. Of course, I'm talking weeks
in advance, speaking of new shows or legacy sequels. Chris, you,
(02:00):
our frequent collaborator here at Midnight Viewing, has an all new, reconfigured,
primed and pumped, fresh coat of paint version of the
Culture Cast, debuting a much more personalized version of the show.
I've heard an early episode. Check him out. He's got
a Patreon too. Everyone's got a Patreon, And since we're
talking Patreon, I'm so excited to announce I'll be featured
(02:21):
on a Patreon exclusive show with Paul Waller, the host
of a Year in Horror podcast. It'll be on his
Patreon feed, and then once the entire series is complete,
will be available to the non paying public. But that's
like a year off at least. The show is called
Little Old Lady Got Mutilated Late last night? Can you
guess the subject? If you can, you're cool if you can't.
(02:44):
It's a werewolf show. We're looking at like aanthropy through
the Ages, starting with mister Lon Cheney and the wolf Man.
We've already got a couple of episodes done and they
are a fucking blast. If you want to hear what
that will sound like, you can check out Paul on
a previous episode of Midnight Viewing where we discussed George
Romero and Stephen King's and I think might be my
favorite movie of all time. Sorry, don of the Dead,
(03:06):
You're still in the family. Creep show. And if you
head over to Paul's show, A Year in Horror, the
best horror podcast out there, better than this yep might
be this month he is looking at the works of
Wes Craven and I'm on the first episode talking about
my main man swamp thing. And check out episode four
of his West Craven series. I got to Paul before
(03:28):
he went to press, and he graciously allowed a rebuttal
on his show. He is fucking awesome. A Year in
Horror is fucking awesome. You know what else is awesome? Halloween,
and it's coming every year. The spooky season begins a
little earlier than Skeletons and ghosties start popping up for
purchase in the late July, but the actual witching season
is October. And to start the festivities right, come to
(03:50):
Las Vegas. We don't have leaves changing or a chill
that seems down into your bones. But we will have
hot rods in horror every witch away. Mark that calendar.
October fourth and fifth, twenty twenty five, at the Silverton
Hotel and Casino, the Nightmare in Vegas Convention and Car Show.
They've got guests, they've got vendors, they've got blood and
(04:11):
gore and so much more. And this year they've got
midnight viewing. That's right, We're going to be on display
for both days of the convention. Stop by and argue
with me about Tales from the Crypt. It's bad you're
blinded by nostalgia. That message is for Lono specifically, but
all of you, really, And it won't be just me,
Oh no, no, no. Winging in from Beantown will be
(04:33):
mister h P. Come to the booth and make him
compose you a diddy. He's quite good at that. Also
joining us will be the aforementioned Chris Stash you from
the Culture cast, winging in from Wheatville. Isn't that what
Nebraska is known for? Just a whole state designed to
murder me? Not featured Mike White because he's selfish, Detroit
versus everybody, indeed, So come down to the Silverton Casino
(04:57):
on October fourth and fifth, Nightmare in Vegas. Let me
tell you something, Las Vegas in autumn is fucking heavenly.
I'll push no more, but I will put links in
the show notes to all of this Malarkey. Hit these
people up and let him know Father Malone sent you. You
know where it isn't fucking heavenly. The High Borian Age.
That's where I've been spending too much of my time lately.
(05:17):
You remember the high Borian Age, between the times when
the ocean strank Atlantis and the rise of the suns
of Arius. It was an age undreamed of. I'm talking,
of course, about Robert Howard's Conan the Barbarian. Have I
been watching the movie on a loop for weeks? Or
have I been going back through the novels and fragments
of novels and trying to separate that fucking villain El
Sprague de camp. I hope I mispronounced that from Howard's
(05:39):
original work. Maybe you might not know this. Robert E.
Howard was a Texas lunatic who wrote a ton of
pulp adventures featuring a ton of diverse characters in supporting roles.
In the main role, he kept recycling and reusing the
same hero in different garb, bound by the different rules
of the different ages, the true distilled version being Conan,
the Conan, the Barbarian, Conan, the King. If I'm being
(06:03):
totally honest with you, Conan is my second favorite Howard
hero I'm a sucker for a pilgrim fighting demons, which
is a fascil way to describe his righteous puritan Solomon Kine.
They made a film about him a few years back,
with James Purefoy in the lead. He was okay. The
movie was okay, which is a drag because it has
some fucking great moments in it. It was an abandoned
(06:24):
and or shelved production and ultimately relies too much on
cgi that never had enough time or money to sustain it,
though it is worth a look. It almost gets the
spirit of the books, which is my way of saying,
read the Solomon k novels. You can read them all
in a couple of days. They're great stuff. Anyway, Robert E. Howard,
did you know he was pen pals with H. P. Lovecraft.
(06:45):
It's true they had spirited discussions about their individual created universes,
Howard's Hyborian age and Lovecraft's old God Mythos. You should
read those two. So Howard ekes out in existence, ekes
out in existence, and it all ended horribly. But his
human drama was just the fucking appetizer. Because Howard is
dead in nineteen thirty six, his father continues publishing the
(07:07):
books through the forties to pretty great success. The editor
of those novels is the prick I named el Sprague
de Camp. When the popularity of Conan was apparent, to
Camp and a few others began expanding the Adventures of Conan,
which is fine, extended universes are what they are. But
de Camp started engaging what is euphemistically referred to as pastiche,
which is a ten cent way to say he rewrote
(07:29):
a lot of Howard's original work. The motivation supposedly was
to get the character more in line with all of
the future adventures. Well, fuck that, man, you're not George Lucas.
This ain't Star Wars. It's stupid shit too, Like adding
the numbers of armies there were three thousand Volusians. Oh thanks,
I'm sure Howard, meticulous in his own writing, left that
(07:50):
out accidentally. Not only that, De Camp then suppressed all
of the original work from being reprinted. That way, he's
drawing a salary and has control of all of Conan
and the motherfucker wrote a biography of Robert Howard that
is less than charitable anyway. No, I haven't been watching
the movie or rereading the novels or watching the TV series.
Remember that Conan the Adventurer. They figured another muscled guy
(08:13):
with Germanic name equals instant Conan incorrect or the cartoon.
Have you seen the Conan cartoon? I mean cartoons plural.
That first animated film was another Conan the Adventurer that
was in ninety three. That one was such a huge success.
I mean we're really all still talking about it. That
the very next year they released Conan and the Young Warriors.
(08:33):
They are terrible. Actually, there's a fan made a tribute
film on YouTube called Conan the Sumerian by a fellow
named Alan Segwin. If they made that into an animated series,
it'd be something special. Check the show notes. I have
neither been engaged with any of that media, nor have
I been reading the many many comic books. You ever
hear Quentin Tarantino talk about Conan, it's usually in the
(08:55):
framework of the John Millias film, But any talk of
the character outside of that is completely and utterly rooted
in the Marvel comics of the seventies. He seems to
have no other frame of reference. It's super weird. So
not them. Not the board games. Oh my god. Remember
the Conan Unchained module for D and D. No, you don't,
(09:15):
but it was great. He had his own role playing
game in eighty five. No, I'm talking video games, and
there have been a lot if you were unlucky enough
to be a Conan fan. Back in eighty four we
got Conan The Hall of Volta, which was basically a
mashup of Donkey Kong and Jungle Hunt. What a crashing disappointment.
Then I want to say ninety one there was a
(09:35):
top down gauntlet style Conan, which was a little better
because at least the figures resembled humans. Most recently we
had Conan Exiles. There are a lot of proponents for it.
I have still yet to dip my toe because somehow
I'd missed out on the two thousand and seven Xbox
three sixty game simply called Conan.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Mother nature can be brutal when she wants to be. Huh,
I knew a man once who thought he could take
her power use it as his own. Imagine that. Perhaps
tonight I'll tell you a new story, her story of adventure,
dark magic and Conan. Listen, I will tell you a
(10:14):
tale of an age undreamed of, When shining kingdoms lay
spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars.
Hither came Conan, the Simarian, black haired, sullen eyed, sword
in hand, a thief, a weaver, a slayer, to tread
(10:39):
the jeweled thrones of the earth under his sandaled feet.
Conan's lust for adventure in gold led him to Balmoria,
a solitary island lost to the far western sea. He
made his way toward a long forgotten tomb on the
(10:59):
high peak, and there he did.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Back Where in crom have you been all my life? Look?
Conan is Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is Conan. If
you asked anyone to describe Conan, you're getting Arnold. And
that trend continued in that TV show and the remake
with Jason Momoa muscle Bound Conan slashing through the wilderness.
But that's not how he's described, and most of the
(11:23):
early illustrations have a pretty fit looking fella. But the
reason I'm convinced in the character's continued popularity through the sixties,
thus propelling it into the seventies when filmmakers became interested,
were the illustrations done by mister Frank Frizetta. Now, he
is no slunch when it comes to over muscled behemoths,
but his Conan wasn't that. He's the ideal of physical perfection.
(11:44):
But it's all coiled and sleek with a mop of
black hair raining down except for his bangs. Yes, Conan
has bangs a proscenium to showcase his ice blue eyes.
It's the best version of the character we're ever going
to get, and it is the model for con in
this game. I'm actually glad I didn't find it earlier.
What a fucking treat to be controlling Frizeta characters in
(12:07):
a Frazetta world, and it's oh so fucking violent. I
found myself doing terrible things. I mean, it's to cannibals
who are trying to eat you and fell beasts from
the Stygian depths, but good lord, the bloodshed and nudity
out of nowhere. Conan is a voiced perfectly by Ron Perlman,
who'd end up being Conan's dad in the Momoa remake.
(12:27):
I keep trying with that movie. There's just something off.
Tell me what it is. Listeners also in the show notes. Anyway,
The gameplay is basically God of War, which is no
surprise given it came out in two thousand and seven.
But I'll take that engine in that style gameplay if
it means I get to battle alongside the Queen of
the Black Sales. That is another cool aspect. Most Conin
games are original stories. This is a Howard original with
(12:50):
a lot of embellishment, but the embellishment seem mostly drawn
from other Conan tails in the Howard's cycle of books.
There's a little too much simple problem solving and carry
this big rock over the stone alter kind of shit.
But when it's cooking, Oh boy, is that why I've
been exhausted every day at work last week? That's right,
But that's okay because I know what's best in life.
(13:10):
By the way, everyone loves that scene. Everyone repeats that
quote Crossia enemies, blah blah blah. The best part of
that scene is the opening, when Conan's swordmaster is speaking
to another across the table, and he says, my fear
is that my sons will never understand me. And that's it.
That's his only dialogue for the entire film. Where's his movie?
Where's his legacy comic book or anthology novel? Anyway? Conan
(13:33):
Xbox three sixty, two thousand and seven, a video game
from twenty years ago based on a character whose continued
popularity is based on a film from forty years ago,
based on a series of stories from nearly one hundred
years ago. I'm keeping things current here at the roundup,
or you know what, maybe I'm being precient. Oliver Stone's
original draft of Conan the Barbarian, heavily rewritten by Milius,
obviously wasn't set in an age long ago. He had
(13:56):
the High Borean age in the future, after we'd wiped
ourselves out. Who knows, Maybe I'm training to be the
next SUBATAI. We'll see the way things are going. I
wouldn't be surprised. Oh man, do you remember the Cone
of the Barbarians stunt show at Universal Studios? That fucking
big set, that fucking laser tunnel like they had in
one of those Frankie goes to Hollywood relaxed videos. How
many videos did you need? Guys? And then at the
(14:18):
end they had a fucking dragon come out. Oh man,
I want to be in that show. Bring it back.
I'll start lifting.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
No, I won't ever stop talking about Conan the Barbarian
hate it HP, Thank you HP. Are we ever going
to get the monkey cam? Body horror? There's been a resurgence?
Was there a resurgence?
Speaker 3 (14:46):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
There was not Body Horror fans, And I'm addressing you
directly now you have my admiration. Truly, I can't do it.
I mean I have and I will continue to, but
I finally had to accept that body horror just ain't
my but those of you who love it, and those
that do really love it. You are a rare breed,
(15:06):
not satisfied with gulies and ghosties, unimpressed with masked mute slashers.
You scoff at serial killers and frown at folksy horror.
To you, the substance was a sitcom. To you, Cronenberg
at Christmas time is completely natural. You've clearly come to
terms with this meat engine strung on bones, with a
fleshy thinking mass trapped in a cranium that we all
(15:28):
inhabit and may crom bless you. Sorry, it just came out.
How else to describe your gillie in watching said flesh
bubble and ooze and mutate and to drip and bleh.
Boy that I mentioned I'm not a body horror fella.
I also mentioned Cronenberg. He is the patron saint of
body horror, mainly due to the fact that, even though
he was mired in exploitation, he never seemed to stoop
(15:51):
to it. Even something as rabbit as rabbit has an
air of respectability to it, so when he started forcing
audiences to stare at the terror contained within the human body,
it was a bit easier to take than something like
Parasite three D or The Incredible Melting Man. I go
so far as to say Cronenberg legitimized the genre when
he completely mutated Jeff Goldblum into a no longer human
(16:12):
monstrosity in The Fly Is the Thing a body horror movie?
It's gotta be well. I guess that makes John Carpenter
the king of body horror. Sorry, Dave, you know I
attended the premiere of Dead Ringers, Cronenberg's twin Surgeon Body
horror film with Jeremy Irons and Genevieve Bougoux. This is
nineteen eighty eight, So I'm fifteen and Cronenberg is in
(16:34):
the lobby talking to someone. So I stand a few
feet off, waiting for an opportunity to say something fumbling
and awkward, And as the conversant finally leaves, I step
into say hello, and his wife swoops in, looking straight
at me and says to him me, we have to go.
And Cronenberg looks at me for way too long and
then turns and walks off, not a word, not even
(16:57):
a what are you gonna do? Shrug? Like I wasn't
even there. So love you, Dave, Fuck you, Dave. John
Carpenter is the king of body Horror. Where am I
going with this? Can I bring it all together? Yes?
I just did. Segs are my speciality. I saw the
new Body Horror film together. Anyone order a trailer?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I love you?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Okay? What's going on? I don't know?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Since the move, Tim and I haven't been on the
same page. Please?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Do you love each other? Maybe we're just complacent, imaginable?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
I think, well, you know, complacency sometimes since we be
happy to give harmony, you know, This could be the
(18:13):
beginning roll over that you're a mayor of something wonderful.
We spend our lives in search of the other half.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
If you think you found.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
That, don't be so quick to let it go.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I think something's happening to us. We've got to get
out of here.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
It's gonna be okay, okay, Elly, why God, he'p yourk
whiskey for the pain boy.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Any chance to hear the Turtles song Happy Together is
a good one. And that's any cover including that one now.
That does not mean send me terrible covers of the
Turtles Happy Together, you fiends, I love that song. Well,
Michael Shanks, that's a name we're going to be hearing
a lot. I suspect he is the writer director of
Together Now. He'd done some shorts and some television work
(19:55):
in Australia, so this is his debut. Fuck you, Michael Shanks.
So much goddamn talent, so much assurance. In previous episodes,
I've mentioned the unwarranted hate of Wes Anderson's productions, because
whatever the content, they're an assured style and that's what
we've been getting lately. Not as mannered as Wes Anderson
of course, but as meticulous and considered Talk to Me
(20:17):
was a fucking home run. If you haven't seen that,
go watch it right now, Barbarian again, go watch here Tic,
stop the show and go watch Though this isn't the
first time we've talked about that Hugh Grant and Sophie
Thatcher shocker. Anyway, Shank demonstrates such a seasoned vision for
the film that I wouldn't be shocked to know it
was his tenth feature and not his first. Style goes
(20:38):
a long way in telling a story, and he's got
that down as well as the storytelling chops. The film
stars real life couple Alison Brie and Dave Franco. I
love Alison Brie unabashedly. She's one of those performers who
is so good in a rolled that the first time
you see them, you assume that is them. Such was
Alison Bree when I first saw her as Trudy Campbell
on mad Men, and actually we all seem pretty close
(21:00):
to that character and enthusiasm. But she followed that up
with a mousey turn in Community and from there it's
been as varied and as interesting as any actor currently working.
And yes, she's fucking adorable, an Elfin Brunette with blue eyes.
She could be a Frizetta drawing. Actually, oh my god,
somebody make an Alison Brie painting in the style of Frizetta.
Speaking of they're making that Masters of the Universe flick
(21:21):
right now. She's playing Evil Lynn. They already have my money.
As I always felt bad for Dave Franco starting a
career in the shadow of the tornado of talent and
creepitude that is his brother James, but he's always delivered
solid comedic performances. Did I say unabashedly earlier? That's also
my love for his flick twenty one Jump Street. I
(21:43):
could watch that movie on a loop and I have
unabashed I say, he's really good in that film, subtle
in an incredibly unsubtle environment. And since then it's been James.
Oh yeah, he's Dave Franco's brother, and fucking good for him, man,
because he and Alison Brie are not only the stars
but the producers of this film. So if his instincts
(22:03):
are leading him here like Shankman, I'm really curious to
see what he does in the future. They're both great here,
by the way, no surprise though, I was wildly impressed
with Alison Breeze flexibility. Jesus she needs no special effects.
They play Tim and Milly, a mid thirties couple who've
decided to say goodbye to their Manhattan life and settle
in the country, where Milli has been hired as a
(22:24):
teacher in the tiny towns even smaller school. I say
they've decided, but really Milly has decided. Tim is a
musician who was once on a label but has fallen
off and now basically attends to Milly while still clinging
to the hope of music stardom. Once they've settled in
their very rural home, the house is surrounded by woods,
not a forest. Woods man deep and dark, and don't
(22:46):
go out there after nightfall. On a hike intended to
rekindle their fallow relationship, they fall into a cave where
all sorts of terrifying shit occurs and gets the plot
in motion. I'd say the mcguffin driving the movie is
ultimately unnecessary, but Shane manages a pretty nifty trick In
each of those sequences. He suffuses his jump scares with dread.
He does it a lot. They're not telegraphed and they
(23:08):
don't feel like a cheat. And if this man ever
makes a movie about nightmares, we are all doomed. Scary
fucking imagery in this flick, brav fucking' oh man. Body
horror has taken many forms and themes over the years.
Hey is the wolfman body horror? American werewolf in London says, yes,
get me, Paul Waller, We've got a new angle on.
(23:30):
Little old lady got mutilated late last night? Can you
tell I love saying? Body horror at its core is
fear of transformation that has manifested as parables, of sex,
of mutation, of addiction, of self loathing, but codependency. Way
to surf the zeitgeist, motherfucker, and what better way to
do it than with an actual married couple just an
(23:51):
extra side of fucked up coleslaw. Melli and Tim start
finding each other completely irresistible, magnetic even and anytime they're
in contact they just can't seem to separate. This results
in the requisite skin crawling and stomach churning so loved
by the body horror community, which is almost entirely done practically.
It would seem though any enhancements made with a computer.
(24:14):
I guess We're welcome because it never felt uncanny. This
is not a spoiler. I'm not trying to spoil this
movie at all. But these two start coalescing anytime they're together,
and it is disturbing and awful and so much fucking
fun seriously and funny. The movie is effortlessly funny, not
set up Joe hahaha, but natural laughs throughout as the
(24:34):
characters interact with each other and their new and unthinkable situation.
Those characters remain strong throughout, exploring all these agonizing themes
of love and commitment and complacency and yeah, codependency. I
myself am wildly codependent. You are listening to a man
who has been in heavy relationships every day since he
was sixteen until about ah four years ago, more than
(24:57):
three decades, so I understand the pull and the need
and the rudderless feeling without And maybe this movie struck
a nerve a little harder with me, but that isn't
why I'm recommending it overall. Codependency as a theme is fine,
and it is a fucking innovation, But the real innovation
here has made the first truly accessible body horror film.
It's got a level of restraint lacking in most help.
(25:21):
Most are just like, look how fucking gross this is.
And while there's no shortage of revulsion tinged moments in
the film, it isn't trying to dislodge your lunch. I
know purists will cry it's like a PG version when
the unrated Triple X Director's cut is available, But have
some mercy on us body, horror people. We're still worried
about the creature from the Black Lagoon. And that's this
(25:42):
week's a round up. Thank you all once again for
tuning in and listening to me ramble. Tune in again
this Friday. We've got Yaucha Fest returning. What's a Yaucha
it's the actual name of the Predator, So HP and
I are cloaking ourselves and running unseen through Predator iiO.
That's the La based Predator flick with day Any Glover
and the World's Worst actress Maria Cancheta Alonso that is
(26:03):
available Friday. Patreon subscribers have had it at least a week.
Plug plug Okay, I'm gonna get out of here. Check
the fucking show notes. It's gonna be bursting with fruit
flavors for ripley Geen I'm Father Malone. We leave you
now with some wise words.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
I'm howling around your kitchen door.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
You better not get him in. Little old lady again
you related to day last night We're Wolves of Thunder
and again, Wolves of Nation.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Show show, show, show
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