June 24, 2020 • 30 mins
Teresa Caldwell wants women to discover their true worth; she is an activist, self-empowerment speaker, entrepreneur, talent manager, and Author of "I Once Was Her." She is famous for being the Momager or manager to rapper, film, and television star Lil Bow Wow. She is on the show to discuss how this well-put-together woman has had her share of tears and mountains to climb. Her book is a raw look into the dark side of Teresa's life, before the fame and fortune, and tells the story of rejection, abandonment, and physical abuse. Please welcome to Money Making Conversations Entrepreneur and author Teresa Caldwell.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This podcast is sponsored by Better Help Online Therapy. I'm
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T T E R dot Ai. On April four, Dr
Martin Luther King was shot and killed in Memphis. A
petty criminal named James Earl Ray was arrested. Case closed
right James eyl Ray Let's upon for the official story.
(01:02):
Some of the evidence, as far as I was concerned,
did not match the circumstances. This is the MLK Tapes.
The first episodes are available now. Listen on the Heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Money Making Conversation. I am your host with
Sean McDonald. Each Money Making Conversation talk show is about
(01:24):
entrepreneurship and entertainment. I provide the consumer and business owner
access to celebrity CEOs, entrepreneurs, and in decision makers. I
recognize that we all have different definitions for success. So
some it's a sizeable paycheck. Mine is helping people wake
up and inspiring them to accomplish their goals and live
their very best life. These are my passion and that's
(01:45):
what I'm going to do for you. I want you
to stop tripping over small challenges and prepare to rise
above bigger obstacles that life will present to you. The
Money Making Conversation interviews provide relatable information to listen to
our career and financial planning, entrepreneurship, more ovation, leadership, overcoming
the art, and how to live a balanced life. My
next guest wants women to discover their true worth. She
(02:09):
is an activist self improvement spooks to me self empowerment speaker, entrepreneur,
talent manager and author of I Once Was Her. She
is famous for being the manager or a talent manager
to wrapp her film and television star Little By Wow.
Please welcome to Money Making Conversation entrepreneur and author Teresa Cardwell, Hi, guys,
(02:32):
how are you, Thrisa? How you doing? My friend? Oh
my god, I'm so blessed. It's been a long time, right,
it's been you know, it's really interesting. Let's let's go
back and to give a history about how we met.
We met in Los Angeles, Little Bow and by a
thousand people came into the Steve Harvard Morning Shows radio
booth and that was the first thing. Counter we met,
(02:54):
you know, as a rising star and uh in the business.
And uh, I like to believe that Stephen I helped,
you know, fuel his success by supporting him in the music.
But you stood out because you were his talent manager
and and the stand the talent managers today. Correct, Yes, well,
right now, I only managed television and film, and I
(03:15):
do like branding and marketing. Awesome, awesome, So talk about
you know, first of all, you're coming on the book,
coming on show, talking about the book, I once was her.
I read the book a very good read, very fast read,
because of the fact, because of the fact. You know,
if when you read the book, Teresa Um, if this
was a play, if it was a dramatic play, because
(03:38):
you introduced different people who are important relationships in your life,
I would sit. That would put you in the middle
of the room, and I have a spotlight on you,
and the entire room will be dark, okay, and then
a light will shine on Curtis Martin. He stand up,
and he says, and then a night was shown up
on another person. They stand up. Because that's how that
(03:58):
was the feeling that I had when I read the book,
because it felt like various levels of testimonials about not long.
I mean, there's just one of Some of them were
one pages, some of them were two or three pages,
the little and so, but they were important because they
described layers in your life. There the changes in your
life and how they were important. So talk about the
(04:22):
the angle and the thought and putting it that I
described the approach to your book from a theatrical standpoint, right, Yes,
you did, you did, And see what the reason why
I chose to write the book that way. First of all,
I'm not a big reader, right, so I wanted to
make my book different because I wanted to catch you know,
(04:42):
my readers. I wanted them because you know, a lot
of times we read the book, we'll start reading a book,
we'll put it down. But I wanted my book to
be an easy read. So I'm so glad that you
got that. You took that from the book. I wanted
to be an easy read, and I wanted it to you.
I wanted my readers to feel what I went through.
And I wanted each one of my friends to write
something about me, like what did they experience with me
(05:04):
or by me being their friends? And I picked the
I picked the girls who were you know, who are
the closest to me to start each chapter. And I
picked Curtis Martin to do my forward because that's my
brother and he knows everything about me. Right. Well, you
know the thing about the book, uh And I'd say
it's a testimonial, It's a it's a shout out to
(05:28):
UH survival. It's out overcoming the odds, single parenting from
a woman's perspective, choosing the right mate, and also more
importantly the importance of fatherhood. Uh In a young girl's
life because I have a daughter, she's twenty two, and
(05:52):
I always, I always have the firm belief that she's
going to pick a version of me when she gets
out there making her selection sess and so I'm very
conscious in my communications with her. She can talk to
me about anything. I will stop when i'm doing if
she had if she wants my attention, not because I'm
trying to baby her. I just want to know what's
(06:13):
through her mind because she may have a question they
might shape especially when you're young. When you're young, you
just grab information that people don't understand that that information
that people grabs as a young person will hang can
hang through to them for the rest of their lives.
And so and that was you, your your your your
father who's now deceased. You know he was played an
important role in shaping you initially. And let's talk about that.
(06:36):
That the importance of a male figure in your life
at an early age. I feel like for me, and
I only speak from my experiences, I feel like me
as a little girl the first man that we will
love as our father. I feel like that love that
(06:56):
we get from our father or a father figure is
so key until a little girl when she grows up,
because that's the type of man that she's going to
search for. So for me, I didn't have that type
of father love. So I I searched for what I
knew and the and I searched for the love that
I that I got from my father, and it wasn't
(07:17):
the best love. So I attracted, you know, men who
treated me kind of like my father, who were verbally abusive,
who felt like I wasn't good enough, who I always
tried to prove to my father that I was going
to be great and it was just hard. So for me,
(07:40):
those are the type of men that I chose, you know,
my younger age, I chose those type of guys. And
then I also chose the type of guys that my
mother dated. And my mother dated abusers, so I watched
my mother get abused. So I attracted abusers because that's
(08:00):
what I knew, and so with me, I had to
stop the cycle. So there was the time I would
never remember. I would never forget it when I got
beat so bad that my ex guide the abuser, he
knocks my I looked like the elephant man's little sister,
Like that's why, Yeah, and so for me, just looking
(08:22):
at my face and just look at my body, just
looking how I looked, and I had to lie to
my son and tell my son that I fell down
the stairs. And from that point, yeah, from that point,
I was just like, you know what, I gotta break
the cycle. Like I don't want to be anything like
my mother, and I don't want to take anything like
the guys my mom dated and I And so that
(08:42):
right there was a wake up call for me. Well,
you know, let's let's talk about that, because I know
when he when he abused you, you even called his father,
and his father came over and he saw what he
had done to you physically, he told him he would
beat him up if he did that to you again.
And guess what, he still did it anyway. And so,
so what people don't understand about abuse. And I'm not
(09:02):
saying I'm an expert expert an expert in abuse. It
is a book, But there's a journey. There's years like
you got kicked out of the house when you were
stiff team because the fact that the boar friend that
was dating your mom at the time was physically beating
her up and your only recourse was to call the police.
They arrested him from the mom, like the most domestic situations,
(09:24):
sided with the man and told him that you had
to go, and you were thrown out with no guidance,
now no support system. If your mom had four sisters,
they didn't want anything to do with you. And the
state of Ohio was not only became a prison for
you because you didn't know what to go, you have
no options. You you might as well have been in
jail because you didn't have any support and so so
(09:45):
so it's got the struggling to find yourself and then
along the way, of course you got pregnant wife. One
of the second child was a little and so love
is really interesting when I read about it in your book,
because there is emotional love and there's physical love, and
then there's loving yourself. Let's let's talk about the emotional
love and let's talk about the physical love in that order.
(10:07):
Because the emotional love of what you were trying to
get from your parents and you didn't get it. Yeah,
the emotional Yeah, the emotional love that I was searching for, Yeah,
absolutely right, was the love that I was trying to
get from my mother and my father and I didn't
get that and then you can continue. Teresa, I apologize. Yeah.
So so so when you when you were searching for
(10:30):
that emotional love, it's really hard where you don't get
that from your your parents, Like I didn't get it, right,
I didn't get it. I kept searching for it, and
it was sad because of the fact that you know
I'm talking just just set up. Everybody was talking to
Teresa Cardwell, she's the author of the new book and
it's you can order pre ordered right now. It's called
(10:51):
I Once Was Her Um. It would be out officially
in June June this year. Uh, it's a good book
to I'll tell people all that now because yeah, she
become a New York Times bestseller based on the pre
ordist boom. You know, I need the system a system
and so. But one of the things that when I'm
when I'm reading the book and we're about to close
out this first break is that you know, as a man,
(11:14):
I felt helpless reading your story because as a man,
I would not have done any of these things to
any woman, not let alone you. So so when you
when you when these men try to play what you
consider an important role in your life and you accept
that they're gonna abuse you. When is the acceptance becomes
okay to an abusing or do you even know when
(11:37):
it's okay you just accepted? Can you answer that question?
You know what from like I speak to my experiences
like you really don't know. I didn't know because I
just accepted it. I accepted it because I felt like
for me, because I saw that going up, I felt
(11:59):
like that abuse, the hits and all that stuff. At
the beginning, I felt like that was his way of
showing me that he loved me. You know, I felt
like that was his way of showing me that he
loved me. Because in my mind, I felt like, oh
my god, because I saw my mother go through it.
I felt like when he hit me and then like
(12:20):
he would apologize and be like, I only did that
because you know, I want you to know that I
care for you, I care about you, I love you.
That's the only way. That's why I did it. So
that's what happens like for me, That's what I thought, like,
oh my god, at the beginning, that he believes me
I was young, but he loves me, to hit me,
to abuse me, he loves me right and to keep
(12:42):
coming back and supporting. It was the blind slide. But
the sad part about it is that you were young.
We have women in the thirties for these fifties and sixties,
they are dealing with these situations. I'm talking to Teresa
car Well, this beautiful, well put together woman has had
her share of tears and mountains to cline. Teresa's book
is a Row Row Look a Row, looking to the
dark side of her life growing up before fame and fortune,
(13:06):
and it tells the story of rejection, abandonment, and physical abuse.
We'll be right back with more. We're talking about her
online taste, online boutique, but more important, a testimony of
overcoming the odds, a testimony of realizing that one has
to love themselves first in order to understand the path
out of the domestic abuse. You have to look in
(13:27):
the mirror and said, look, I am important. I am
the person that should be on top of this game.
If you don't ever admit that to yourself, you will
always be in a state of abuse. Not by yours,
not because somebody is giving it to it because you're
accepting it. We'll be right back with my friend, long time,
long time, Teresa card Well. Money making conversation will be
(13:47):
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E R dot ai. Hi. This is Rashan McDonald and
you're listening to money making conversation. They say you can't
judge a book by its cover, and the same is
true for entrepreneur and business mogul. Theresa Cardwell, manager and
mother to successful rap movie entertainer Shad Moss better known
(16:01):
as Wow. I met him when he was little by
Wow and then he dropped the Bible Sad, So you know,
I mean I probably would say Wow, what's about you know?
But but you know the beauty of it. Like I said,
we met in Los Angeles, came into the radio studio,
and uh, I always felt we had a good relationship
because I understood I was a challenged manager for then
(16:23):
Steve Harvey and dealing with all the ins and out.
But you are mom manager, which is a different perspective
because of the fact that you know as a manager,
you you you basically I was the father, priest, accountant, uh, motivator,
crisis guy, and so to have an actual relationship with
a young man like like Bow and then to send
(16:47):
him off at a very early age under the under
the chair of Sugar Knight, under the care and guiding
some snoop dog talk about that moment and all those moments,
because you had to be like a biding your fingernails
on that one. But you have no options, I know,
(17:07):
you know what. Like for me, like it was it
was fun I must say it was. It was fun
um And I recognized early on that you know Boud
was smart. I regize I recognized his talent, and I
also it was his dream. You know, it was a dream.
So what I did was I was like, you know what,
(17:28):
this is something that he wants to do. This is
his gift. So as a parent, I wanted to make
sure he was able to live out his dream. So
I trusted Snoop. I trusted should. Like the relationship that
I had was shod, you know back in the day,
like I didn't like. I had a great relationship with
all of them, and they all looked out for Bout's
(17:48):
best interest even when I wasn't around, you know. So
it was all about trust and it was all about God.
I thought that God was in it. So I feel
like when God is in it, you feel safe. So
I my God was in it and it was his gift.
Well I love it. I loved it. But where Snoop
comes to you go, you know some I'm really not.
I really am not a good example or role model
(18:15):
because I know Snoop and and he Snoop will smoke
some weed. People understand he the brother is a not
It's like America has caught up with Snoop, which is
really funny because he was not gonna change. He confessed
publicly all the time he did it. And now when
you're seeing that it's being being sold and stores for
medical reasons or just clear for just for for sale
(18:36):
with profit reason, you have CBD and all these different uh,
instead of being brought out because of marijuana usage. It's
really amazing. But when Snoop I read that part of
the book, I went that Snoop because one thing about
Snooper there is a there's a business side to him.
He's a family man who if everybody's followers life, you
see he is a family man. Okay, yeah, he is
(18:57):
a family man. And so he came to you and
and anybody know his whole career how he has been
a mentor or I want to stand like a pseudo
father for the community by starting the football league and
many young men he's helped a get scholarships and in
college football has been a testament to him. But let's
go back to you in particular. You know that you know,
(19:18):
like you said, you you started dating hood dudes and
then you started dating pro athletes. You know, and youre
getting into this theme. You went from the hood dudes,
you know, whore out there, you know, beating, you selling drugs,
but your lifestyle was uh, you know, it was there.
You didn't have all benefits of the lifestyle, but at
(19:40):
least you had the lifestyle. And then you went to
the athletes, which is also a confusing world because you know,
it's a competitive world because you know they go from
different city of the city. So let's talk about where
you came from. Okay, at fifteen, you got kicked out
of the house. Then you got pregnant. Unfortunately, sadly, you
lost your first child. Then yeah, about and then you
(20:01):
start raising him, and then all of a sudden you
got this young man was taken care of. He's kind
of like the first far the figure for a bow
wow and uh and but he was into drugs. And
then you decided, hey, you know something, I'm gonna do
it too because I got to pay off this debt.
And we won't get in any more detail. Read the book.
It's fantastic how she is showing you when you cornered
(20:24):
in the state of desperation, you can start crying, but
have a plan while you're crying. Because one thing that
I took away from this book is that you if
you're in a crisis situation, especially in a violent crisis situation,
you gotta have a plan B. And that's what you
say a lot the reason you stayed in so long
you never had a plan B. When you got that
(20:44):
plan B, you got out. I got up. Yes, yes,
that is so true. Um. I I felt like, you know,
when I got myself in a situation, of course I
didn't have a I didn't have a plan, but I
didn't have a plan b RC. So in order to
me to get myself out of this situation, I had
to have a plan. So I stayed in it a
(21:05):
lot longer, and so I got a plan. So once
I got a plan, and you know, that's when I
got myself out. So I went from that, and I
you know what, I don't I don't regret any of
the things that I went through because that the street
life made me understand the entertainment world, because it was
(21:26):
kind of to me back then, it was the same thing.
It was just one was legal and one was illegal.
So that's how I looked at I looked at the
music industry back then, you know, it was it was,
it was brutal, So I looked at it like Okay,
it's the same thing. It was street dudes one and stuff,
you know, I was it was the same. So I
was built for it. You know, when they came at me,
(21:46):
I was able to, you know, to to stand up
for myself because of what I had already gone through.
So I went from that to dating, you know, you know, dating, well,
I went from that to being Mary. And then once
I got my divorce, that's when I started getting the
poor athlete you was that you know with with dating
(22:09):
and athletes, like there's good to bad, you know, come
along with that. There's a lot, like you said, they're
gone a lot and not around, but there's a lot
of parts to that, you know. And and and for me,
for me, you know, I can't sit here and um
and really say like bad things about the guy who
(22:31):
I dated. It was just like when I looked back
at everything, like all the relationships, you know, I kind
of like it was the type of girl who was like,
you know, after going through a marriage and divorced, I
was like, I don't want to be married or have
kids or have kids like I had that was made
up in my mind, like I don't want to be
(22:52):
married and I don't want to have any children. So
for me, you know, dating me was like it was
only it was only gonna go with right because I'm
making it known that I don't want to be married,
I'm not having any kids. But you know, it was
good for me to hear that, because that's taking control
of your life to me. You know, that's telling people
(23:13):
I can make a decisions, I can trust myself and
it doesn't have to be determined by a man's being
determined by me. And that's what I you know, I
when I open up, when you when I introduce you
said your your purpose is for women to discover their
true worth. And that's what this book is about. I
once was her. I'm talking to to to to reach
(23:34):
a Cardwell, it's a as a as a memoir about
her life before she was managing. Was kind of like
it slid into when she started when bile Wa became famous,
A little Bible became famous under that name, a little
by wall at the time. But it's really about the
beginning and how I shaped her as a businesswoman because
it was a tough life that she grew up on.
(23:55):
It kicked out of the house of fifteen, had a
baby to think sixteen and that another child which is
all by out today, and raised him. And and what
I loved about is that you didn't allow men to
negatively shape your son's vision because when he had a child,
speaking of Shad, you made sure that he understood his
(24:20):
role in that young girl's life. Talk about that. Yes,
I made sure that when Val had a daughter, because
of how hard it was for me, it was important
to me that I instilled in him that you have
to be a great father, not a good father, but
(24:42):
a great father because you have a daughter, you know,
and so and I told him, like, it is so
important because you will be the first man that she
will ever fall in love with. The way you teach
her and the way you treat her and the way
you raised her and the way you're in her life,
that's going to set the stand for when she gets older,
when she starts dating, the standards are gonna be so
(25:04):
high because she's gonna be like, you know, my father
treated me like this, my father this, my father that,
And I think that, you know, And I told him, like,
I told him that, like it's important. I mean, I know,
I'm probably got on his nerves talking about it all
the time. But I but the relationship that that he
(25:24):
has with his daughter is priceless. Now if you look
at their videos and stuff, you can tell that he
plays a big role in her life and it's all
about love. You can tell, yeah, it's important, it's important.
And then our relationship, like you know, like even with
with my with bal and I like our relationship. The
(25:45):
things that I talked about what we went through a
little bit. I touched on that a little bit in
the book, like how hard that was, you know, um,
you know, being a mom and being a manager and
you know, trying to step away to two. It did
put a strain in our in our relationship. We did
go through some things, you know, because we want was
best for our children. And then you know, like me,
(26:05):
like my fear was I never wanted my son to
be on drugs. That was a fear of mine, you know,
and being in the in the industry, like so much
can happening and drugs are like they give it to
him like and that was a big I feared that.
I tried to protect him. And you did a good
job because your little book you said I had to
want I had to take off my talent manager hand
(26:26):
and put back on my mama had because sometimes you
gotta let him know, Look, I brought you into this world.
I have a different level of passion that dude, well
he just wants ten percent. That dude just want to
start our tickets over there, your mama day one, this
day one, that day one, Mama right here, they want,
and we'll be here in the end when all this
(26:47):
is going on the way, I'm still going to be
there for you. And that's what you that's what you
stated in the book very clearly that yes, I I
did accept the role and the professional role as his
talent manager, but I never lost the mama hat, the
mom and that was really before we get out. I
want to I want to put on that entrepreneur hat
that that you have here Taste Online boutique, tell us
(27:11):
about that. Yes, so I have an online boutique. It's
Taste Online. Well it's shop taste online dot com. That
I've had that boutique forever. Like my passion is fashion
and I'm also an interior designer, so I people don't
know like that's where I came from. That world, Like
I've been an inserted designer for for years. So I'm
(27:34):
back into that full time now. They kind of brought
me out of retirement and I do a lot of
entertainers homes, like you know, a lot of athletes is
like my number one client, So I do a lot
of those homes in my store. Is you know, I
have a passion for fashion. I love to see my
girls feel good and look good in what they wear. Awesome.
(27:55):
The book. I won't recommend everybody to go out, and
not just because of it's not book to read about
the dark side of abused, the drama of being able
to overcome the odds. It's about a person and a
relatable person, a young woman who was thrown onto a
(28:17):
world of darkness. No instructions on how to be a
young woman, no instructures on how to be a young mom,
No instructures on how to be a lady, No instructions
on how to accept and understand why I'm being abused,
No instructures on how to create a B plan. And
she did it and it's all it is, is wonderfully
written book I once towards her. Right now, you can
(28:39):
go and online and pre ordered the book. The book
officially comes out of June. To reach a card well,
I want to thank you for coming on Money Making Conversations.
Thank you, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.
It's so nice to hear your void. I appreciate You've
one of her. More episodes of money Making Conversations, Please
go to money Making Conversation dot com. I'm ras Sean McDonald.
(29:00):
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(29:22):
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This podcast is sponsored by Better Help Online Therapy. I'm
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T T E R dot Ai. On April four, Dr
Martin Luther King was shot and killed in Memphis. A
petty criminal named James Earl Ray was arrested. Case closed
right James eyl Ray Let's upon for the official story.
(01:02):
Some of the evidence, as far as I was concerned,
did not match the circumstances. This is the MLK Tapes.
The first episodes are available now. Listen on the Heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Money Making Conversation. I am your host with
Sean McDonald. Each Money Making Conversation talk show is about
(01:24):
entrepreneurship and entertainment. I provide the consumer and business owner
access to celebrity CEOs, entrepreneurs, and in decision makers. I
recognize that we all have different definitions for success. So
some it's a sizeable paycheck. Mine is helping people wake
up and inspiring them to accomplish their goals and live
their very best life. These are my passion and that's
(01:45):
what I'm going to do for you. I want you
to stop tripping over small challenges and prepare to rise
above bigger obstacles that life will present to you. The
Money Making Conversation interviews provide relatable information to listen to
our career and financial planning, entrepreneurship, more ovation, leadership, overcoming
the art, and how to live a balanced life. My
next guest wants women to discover their true worth. She
(02:09):
is an activist self improvement spooks to me self empowerment speaker, entrepreneur,
talent manager and author of I Once Was Her. She
is famous for being the manager or a talent manager
to wrapp her film and television star Little By Wow.
Please welcome to Money Making Conversation entrepreneur and author Teresa Cardwell, Hi, guys,
(02:32):
how are you, Thrisa? How you doing? My friend? Oh
my god, I'm so blessed. It's been a long time, right,
it's been you know, it's really interesting. Let's let's go
back and to give a history about how we met.
We met in Los Angeles, Little Bow and by a
thousand people came into the Steve Harvard Morning Shows radio
booth and that was the first thing. Counter we met,
(02:54):
you know, as a rising star and uh in the business.
And uh, I like to believe that Stephen I helped,
you know, fuel his success by supporting him in the music.
But you stood out because you were his talent manager
and and the stand the talent managers today. Correct, Yes, well,
right now, I only managed television and film, and I
(03:15):
do like branding and marketing. Awesome, awesome, So talk about
you know, first of all, you're coming on the book,
coming on show, talking about the book, I once was her.
I read the book a very good read, very fast read,
because of the fact, because of the fact. You know,
if when you read the book, Teresa Um, if this
was a play, if it was a dramatic play, because
(03:38):
you introduced different people who are important relationships in your life,
I would sit. That would put you in the middle
of the room, and I have a spotlight on you,
and the entire room will be dark, okay, and then
a light will shine on Curtis Martin. He stand up,
and he says, and then a night was shown up
on another person. They stand up. Because that's how that
(03:58):
was the feeling that I had when I read the book,
because it felt like various levels of testimonials about not long.
I mean, there's just one of Some of them were
one pages, some of them were two or three pages,
the little and so, but they were important because they
described layers in your life. There the changes in your
life and how they were important. So talk about the
(04:22):
the angle and the thought and putting it that I
described the approach to your book from a theatrical standpoint, right, Yes,
you did, you did, And see what the reason why
I chose to write the book that way. First of all,
I'm not a big reader, right, so I wanted to
make my book different because I wanted to catch you know,
(04:42):
my readers. I wanted them because you know, a lot
of times we read the book, we'll start reading a book,
we'll put it down. But I wanted my book to
be an easy read. So I'm so glad that you
got that. You took that from the book. I wanted
to be an easy read, and I wanted it to you.
I wanted my readers to feel what I went through.
And I wanted each one of my friends to write
something about me, like what did they experience with me
(05:04):
or by me being their friends? And I picked the
I picked the girls who were you know, who are
the closest to me to start each chapter. And I
picked Curtis Martin to do my forward because that's my
brother and he knows everything about me. Right. Well, you
know the thing about the book, uh And I'd say
it's a testimonial, It's a it's a shout out to
(05:28):
UH survival. It's out overcoming the odds, single parenting from
a woman's perspective, choosing the right mate, and also more
importantly the importance of fatherhood. Uh In a young girl's
life because I have a daughter, she's twenty two, and
(05:52):
I always, I always have the firm belief that she's
going to pick a version of me when she gets
out there making her selection sess and so I'm very
conscious in my communications with her. She can talk to
me about anything. I will stop when i'm doing if
she had if she wants my attention, not because I'm
trying to baby her. I just want to know what's
(06:13):
through her mind because she may have a question they
might shape especially when you're young. When you're young, you
just grab information that people don't understand that that information
that people grabs as a young person will hang can
hang through to them for the rest of their lives.
And so and that was you, your your your your
father who's now deceased. You know he was played an
important role in shaping you initially. And let's talk about that.
(06:36):
That the importance of a male figure in your life
at an early age. I feel like for me, and
I only speak from my experiences, I feel like me
as a little girl the first man that we will
love as our father. I feel like that love that
(06:56):
we get from our father or a father figure is
so key until a little girl when she grows up,
because that's the type of man that she's going to
search for. So for me, I didn't have that type
of father love. So I I searched for what I
knew and the and I searched for the love that
I that I got from my father, and it wasn't
(07:17):
the best love. So I attracted, you know, men who
treated me kind of like my father, who were verbally abusive,
who felt like I wasn't good enough, who I always
tried to prove to my father that I was going
to be great and it was just hard. So for me,
(07:40):
those are the type of men that I chose, you know,
my younger age, I chose those type of guys. And
then I also chose the type of guys that my
mother dated. And my mother dated abusers, so I watched
my mother get abused. So I attracted abusers because that's
(08:00):
what I knew, and so with me, I had to
stop the cycle. So there was the time I would
never remember. I would never forget it when I got
beat so bad that my ex guide the abuser, he
knocks my I looked like the elephant man's little sister,
Like that's why, Yeah, and so for me, just looking
(08:22):
at my face and just look at my body, just
looking how I looked, and I had to lie to
my son and tell my son that I fell down
the stairs. And from that point, yeah, from that point,
I was just like, you know what, I gotta break
the cycle. Like I don't want to be anything like
my mother, and I don't want to take anything like
the guys my mom dated and I And so that
(08:42):
right there was a wake up call for me. Well,
you know, let's let's talk about that, because I know
when he when he abused you, you even called his father,
and his father came over and he saw what he
had done to you physically, he told him he would
beat him up if he did that to you again.
And guess what, he still did it anyway. And so,
so what people don't understand about abuse. And I'm not
(09:02):
saying I'm an expert expert an expert in abuse. It
is a book, But there's a journey. There's years like
you got kicked out of the house when you were
stiff team because the fact that the boar friend that
was dating your mom at the time was physically beating
her up and your only recourse was to call the police.
They arrested him from the mom, like the most domestic situations,
(09:24):
sided with the man and told him that you had
to go, and you were thrown out with no guidance,
now no support system. If your mom had four sisters,
they didn't want anything to do with you. And the
state of Ohio was not only became a prison for
you because you didn't know what to go, you have
no options. You you might as well have been in
jail because you didn't have any support and so so
(09:45):
so it's got the struggling to find yourself and then
along the way, of course you got pregnant wife. One
of the second child was a little and so love
is really interesting when I read about it in your book,
because there is emotional love and there's physical love, and
then there's loving yourself. Let's let's talk about the emotional
love and let's talk about the physical love in that order.
(10:07):
Because the emotional love of what you were trying to
get from your parents and you didn't get it. Yeah,
the emotional Yeah, the emotional love that I was searching for, Yeah,
absolutely right, was the love that I was trying to
get from my mother and my father and I didn't
get that and then you can continue. Teresa, I apologize. Yeah.
So so so when you when you were searching for
(10:30):
that emotional love, it's really hard where you don't get
that from your your parents, Like I didn't get it, right,
I didn't get it. I kept searching for it, and
it was sad because of the fact that you know
I'm talking just just set up. Everybody was talking to
Teresa Cardwell, she's the author of the new book and
it's you can order pre ordered right now. It's called
(10:51):
I Once Was Her Um. It would be out officially
in June June this year. Uh, it's a good book
to I'll tell people all that now because yeah, she
become a New York Times bestseller based on the pre
ordist boom. You know, I need the system a system
and so. But one of the things that when I'm
when I'm reading the book and we're about to close
out this first break is that you know, as a man,
(11:14):
I felt helpless reading your story because as a man,
I would not have done any of these things to
any woman, not let alone you. So so when you
when you when these men try to play what you
consider an important role in your life and you accept
that they're gonna abuse you. When is the acceptance becomes
okay to an abusing or do you even know when
(11:37):
it's okay you just accepted? Can you answer that question?
You know what from like I speak to my experiences
like you really don't know. I didn't know because I
just accepted it. I accepted it because I felt like
for me, because I saw that going up, I felt
(11:59):
like that abuse, the hits and all that stuff. At
the beginning, I felt like that was his way of
showing me that he loved me. You know, I felt
like that was his way of showing me that he
loved me. Because in my mind, I felt like, oh
my god, because I saw my mother go through it.
I felt like when he hit me and then like
(12:20):
he would apologize and be like, I only did that
because you know, I want you to know that I
care for you, I care about you, I love you.
That's the only way. That's why I did it. So
that's what happens like for me, That's what I thought, like,
oh my god, at the beginning, that he believes me
I was young, but he loves me, to hit me,
to abuse me, he loves me right and to keep
(12:42):
coming back and supporting. It was the blind slide. But
the sad part about it is that you were young.
We have women in the thirties for these fifties and sixties,
they are dealing with these situations. I'm talking to Teresa
car Well, this beautiful, well put together woman has had
her share of tears and mountains to cline. Teresa's book
is a Row Row Look a Row, looking to the
dark side of her life growing up before fame and fortune,
(13:06):
and it tells the story of rejection, abandonment, and physical abuse.
We'll be right back with more. We're talking about her
online taste, online boutique, but more important, a testimony of
overcoming the odds, a testimony of realizing that one has
to love themselves first in order to understand the path
out of the domestic abuse. You have to look in
(13:27):
the mirror and said, look, I am important. I am
the person that should be on top of this game.
If you don't ever admit that to yourself, you will
always be in a state of abuse. Not by yours,
not because somebody is giving it to it because you're
accepting it. We'll be right back with my friend, long time,
long time, Teresa card Well. Money making conversation will be
(13:47):
right back. It's finally here, the season of celebration, and
no matter how you celebrate with family and friends, whether
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are going to midnight mass, Coals has just what you
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(14:10):
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(14:32):
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E R dot ai. Hi. This is Rashan McDonald and
you're listening to money making conversation. They say you can't
judge a book by its cover, and the same is
true for entrepreneur and business mogul. Theresa Cardwell, manager and
mother to successful rap movie entertainer Shad Moss better known
(16:01):
as Wow. I met him when he was little by
Wow and then he dropped the Bible Sad, So you know,
I mean I probably would say Wow, what's about you know?
But but you know the beauty of it. Like I said,
we met in Los Angeles, came into the radio studio,
and uh, I always felt we had a good relationship
because I understood I was a challenged manager for then
(16:23):
Steve Harvey and dealing with all the ins and out.
But you are mom manager, which is a different perspective
because of the fact that you know as a manager,
you you you basically I was the father, priest, accountant, uh, motivator,
crisis guy, and so to have an actual relationship with
a young man like like Bow and then to send
(16:47):
him off at a very early age under the under
the chair of Sugar Knight, under the care and guiding
some snoop dog talk about that moment and all those moments,
because you had to be like a biding your fingernails
on that one. But you have no options, I know,
(17:07):
you know what. Like for me, like it was it
was fun I must say it was. It was fun
um And I recognized early on that you know Boud
was smart. I regize I recognized his talent, and I
also it was his dream. You know, it was a dream.
So what I did was I was like, you know what,
(17:28):
this is something that he wants to do. This is
his gift. So as a parent, I wanted to make
sure he was able to live out his dream. So
I trusted Snoop. I trusted should. Like the relationship that
I had was shod, you know back in the day,
like I didn't like. I had a great relationship with
all of them, and they all looked out for Bout's
(17:48):
best interest even when I wasn't around, you know. So
it was all about trust and it was all about God.
I thought that God was in it. So I feel
like when God is in it, you feel safe. So
I my God was in it and it was his gift.
Well I love it. I loved it. But where Snoop
comes to you go, you know some I'm really not.
I really am not a good example or role model
(18:15):
because I know Snoop and and he Snoop will smoke
some weed. People understand he the brother is a not
It's like America has caught up with Snoop, which is
really funny because he was not gonna change. He confessed
publicly all the time he did it. And now when
you're seeing that it's being being sold and stores for
medical reasons or just clear for just for for sale
(18:36):
with profit reason, you have CBD and all these different uh,
instead of being brought out because of marijuana usage. It's
really amazing. But when Snoop I read that part of
the book, I went that Snoop because one thing about
Snooper there is a there's a business side to him.
He's a family man who if everybody's followers life, you
see he is a family man. Okay, yeah, he is
(18:57):
a family man. And so he came to you and
and anybody know his whole career how he has been
a mentor or I want to stand like a pseudo
father for the community by starting the football league and
many young men he's helped a get scholarships and in
college football has been a testament to him. But let's
go back to you in particular. You know that you know,
(19:18):
like you said, you you started dating hood dudes and
then you started dating pro athletes. You know, and youre
getting into this theme. You went from the hood dudes,
you know, whore out there, you know, beating, you selling drugs,
but your lifestyle was uh, you know, it was there.
You didn't have all benefits of the lifestyle, but at
(19:40):
least you had the lifestyle. And then you went to
the athletes, which is also a confusing world because you know,
it's a competitive world because you know they go from
different city of the city. So let's talk about where
you came from. Okay, at fifteen, you got kicked out
of the house. Then you got pregnant. Unfortunately, sadly, you
lost your first child. Then yeah, about and then you
(20:01):
start raising him, and then all of a sudden you
got this young man was taken care of. He's kind
of like the first far the figure for a bow
wow and uh and but he was into drugs. And
then you decided, hey, you know something, I'm gonna do
it too because I got to pay off this debt.
And we won't get in any more detail. Read the book.
It's fantastic how she is showing you when you cornered
(20:24):
in the state of desperation, you can start crying, but
have a plan while you're crying. Because one thing that
I took away from this book is that you if
you're in a crisis situation, especially in a violent crisis situation,
you gotta have a plan B. And that's what you
say a lot the reason you stayed in so long
you never had a plan B. When you got that
(20:44):
plan B, you got out. I got up. Yes, yes,
that is so true. Um. I I felt like, you know,
when I got myself in a situation, of course I
didn't have a I didn't have a plan, but I
didn't have a plan b RC. So in order to
me to get myself out of this situation, I had
to have a plan. So I stayed in it a
(21:05):
lot longer, and so I got a plan. So once
I got a plan, and you know, that's when I
got myself out. So I went from that, and I
you know what, I don't I don't regret any of
the things that I went through because that the street
life made me understand the entertainment world, because it was
(21:26):
kind of to me back then, it was the same thing.
It was just one was legal and one was illegal.
So that's how I looked at I looked at the
music industry back then, you know, it was it was,
it was brutal, So I looked at it like Okay,
it's the same thing. It was street dudes one and stuff,
you know, I was it was the same. So I
was built for it. You know, when they came at me,
(21:46):
I was able to, you know, to to stand up
for myself because of what I had already gone through.
So I went from that to dating, you know, you know, dating, well,
I went from that to being Mary. And then once
I got my divorce, that's when I started getting the
poor athlete you was that you know with with dating
(22:09):
and athletes, like there's good to bad, you know, come
along with that. There's a lot, like you said, they're
gone a lot and not around, but there's a lot
of parts to that, you know. And and and for me,
for me, you know, I can't sit here and um
and really say like bad things about the guy who
(22:31):
I dated. It was just like when I looked back
at everything, like all the relationships, you know, I kind
of like it was the type of girl who was like,
you know, after going through a marriage and divorced, I
was like, I don't want to be married or have
kids or have kids like I had that was made
up in my mind, like I don't want to be
(22:52):
married and I don't want to have any children. So
for me, you know, dating me was like it was
only it was only gonna go with right because I'm
making it known that I don't want to be married,
I'm not having any kids. But you know, it was
good for me to hear that, because that's taking control
of your life to me. You know, that's telling people
(23:13):
I can make a decisions, I can trust myself and
it doesn't have to be determined by a man's being
determined by me. And that's what I you know, I
when I open up, when you when I introduce you
said your your purpose is for women to discover their
true worth. And that's what this book is about. I
once was her. I'm talking to to to to reach
(23:34):
a Cardwell, it's a as a as a memoir about
her life before she was managing. Was kind of like
it slid into when she started when bile Wa became famous,
A little Bible became famous under that name, a little
by wall at the time. But it's really about the
beginning and how I shaped her as a businesswoman because
it was a tough life that she grew up on.
(23:55):
It kicked out of the house of fifteen, had a
baby to think sixteen and that another child which is
all by out today, and raised him. And and what
I loved about is that you didn't allow men to
negatively shape your son's vision because when he had a child,
speaking of Shad, you made sure that he understood his
(24:20):
role in that young girl's life. Talk about that. Yes,
I made sure that when Val had a daughter, because
of how hard it was for me, it was important
to me that I instilled in him that you have
to be a great father, not a good father, but
(24:42):
a great father because you have a daughter, you know,
and so and I told him, like, it is so
important because you will be the first man that she
will ever fall in love with. The way you teach
her and the way you treat her and the way
you raised her and the way you're in her life,
that's going to set the stand for when she gets older,
when she starts dating, the standards are gonna be so
(25:04):
high because she's gonna be like, you know, my father
treated me like this, my father this, my father that,
And I think that, you know, And I told him, like,
I told him that, like it's important. I mean, I know,
I'm probably got on his nerves talking about it all
the time. But I but the relationship that that he
(25:24):
has with his daughter is priceless. Now if you look
at their videos and stuff, you can tell that he
plays a big role in her life and it's all
about love. You can tell, yeah, it's important, it's important.
And then our relationship, like you know, like even with
with my with bal and I like our relationship. The
(25:45):
things that I talked about what we went through a
little bit. I touched on that a little bit in
the book, like how hard that was, you know, um,
you know, being a mom and being a manager and
you know, trying to step away to two. It did
put a strain in our in our relationship. We did
go through some things, you know, because we want was
best for our children. And then you know, like me,
(26:05):
like my fear was I never wanted my son to
be on drugs. That was a fear of mine, you know,
and being in the in the industry, like so much
can happening and drugs are like they give it to
him like and that was a big I feared that.
I tried to protect him. And you did a good
job because your little book you said I had to
want I had to take off my talent manager hand
(26:26):
and put back on my mama had because sometimes you
gotta let him know, Look, I brought you into this world.
I have a different level of passion that dude, well
he just wants ten percent. That dude just want to
start our tickets over there, your mama day one, this
day one, that day one, Mama right here, they want,
and we'll be here in the end when all this
(26:47):
is going on the way, I'm still going to be
there for you. And that's what you that's what you
stated in the book very clearly that yes, I I
did accept the role and the professional role as his
talent manager, but I never lost the mama hat, the
mom and that was really before we get out. I
want to I want to put on that entrepreneur hat
that that you have here Taste Online boutique, tell us
(27:11):
about that. Yes, so I have an online boutique. It's
Taste Online. Well it's shop taste online dot com. That
I've had that boutique forever. Like my passion is fashion
and I'm also an interior designer, so I people don't
know like that's where I came from. That world, Like
I've been an inserted designer for for years. So I'm
(27:34):
back into that full time now. They kind of brought
me out of retirement and I do a lot of
entertainers homes, like you know, a lot of athletes is
like my number one client, So I do a lot
of those homes in my store. Is you know, I
have a passion for fashion. I love to see my
girls feel good and look good in what they wear. Awesome.
(27:55):
The book. I won't recommend everybody to go out, and
not just because of it's not book to read about
the dark side of abused, the drama of being able
to overcome the odds. It's about a person and a
relatable person, a young woman who was thrown onto a
(28:17):
world of darkness. No instructions on how to be a
young woman, no instructures on how to be a young mom,
No instructures on how to be a lady, No instructions
on how to accept and understand why I'm being abused,
No instructures on how to create a B plan. And
she did it and it's all it is, is wonderfully
written book I once towards her. Right now, you can
(28:39):
go and online and pre ordered the book. The book
officially comes out of June. To reach a card well,
I want to thank you for coming on Money Making Conversations.
Thank you, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.
It's so nice to hear your void. I appreciate You've
one of her. More episodes of money Making Conversations, Please
go to money Making Conversation dot com. I'm ras Sean McDonald.
(29:00):
I'm your host. In this season of giving, Coals has
gifts for all your loved ones. For those who like
to keep it cozy, find fleeces, sweaters, loungeware, blankets and throws,
or support minority owned or founded brands by giving gifts
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of giving, Coals Cares is donating eight million dollars to
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with great gifts from Coals or Coals dot com. Still
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Auto dot ai that's O T T E R. Dot Ai,
Sticky notes, email alerts, a string around your finger. They're
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Host
Rushion McDonald
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