April 17, 2025 • 52 mins
oin Adam and Danielle Busby as they share the realities of surviving “birthday week” with their quintuplets. In this candid conversation, they open up about feeling overwhelmed, dealing with burnout, parenting struggles, and managing the chaos of everyday life. Danielle battles exhaustion from late-night crafting at the quintuplets’ epic sleepover, while Adam confronts deep feelings of dad guilt and spiritual warfare. This relatable and heartfelt episode explores why parenting multiples is never easy—but always rewarding.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
We survived birthday a week the last party. Oh, Welcome
to More Than Reality Podcast with Adam and Danielle Busby.
That's me last what was it Friday and Saturday? It
was like the last of the parties.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yes, so we had a lot of blast. I mean, listen, guys,
I'm gonna sound weird. I'm gonna cough a lot. I
don't feel good right now, but still rocking and rolling
in filming. And so if I sound weird, that's why
sinus allergies and probably exhaustion from the quin's birthday party.
(01:02):
We had a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Of Probably why you run down so much because you've
got very little sleep because you were in your own
room in that but that hits you pretty hard whenever
you don't get a lot of sleep.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Well that and it's just like seasonal, I mean, like,
I mean, this is like the fourth time that this
has happened.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
And we've had a crap ton of pollen.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah, I mean it's I can't stop my eyes water
in my nose. I wake up in the morning and
I lift my head up and it just like like
water straight out. I'm like gross, Sorry guys about that.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah, they did like a little sleepover at this local
Great Wolf Lige. This is like, I mean the first
time that we went to like the water part of
it and stuff like you've gone to, like you've taken
the kids to, like a birthday party there before.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
And that's why they wanted to do well, They've they
have asked for a sleepover birthday party for years. I'm like,
let's just wait till we're ten, we do that. Save
that for double digits because I always wanted like to sleepover,
and I'm like, we don't have enough room for that,
Like you quins, can't have anybody else over if you
want a tint like the like Blake did.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I think she baked for like ten up in the playrooms.
There's not enough room for that. We'd have to like
line them along the banister and walk away and stuff too.
That's what we did for Blakes.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
There was two up there and like the hallway banister anyway,
So we found Great Wolf had like a room that
sleeps like twelve bunk room, like two conjoining rooms and
whatever and couch beds and stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And so those little bunk rooms are pretty cool. Yeah,
they were little kids. I guess they're twin size though. Yeah, yeah,
there's twin sized beds, but a room with like four
bunk beds.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Yeah, I mean they had a blast, Like the kids
had a blast. It was we were staying the night
there and it was me and a friend. Holly came
to chaperone and help with me in the quin girl
room because yeah, no boys allowed, but we still need Adam.
We had a lot of fun late night, early morning, but.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Super early morning. I was in.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
His own room and him and Blake stayed in there,
and Blake's frien Julia, who is her mom, was with me.
But we all hung out and you know, helped and
had fun or whatever. But me and Holly stayed in
the room with the twelve little girls.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
And they were doing like crafts and stuff and making
custom hats, and Daniel had all kinds of stuff lined
up for the kids. But yeah, I got to that
point where like the night.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Came around here, like give me some pizza, I'm out.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, I was like, I think my worker is done,
and so I went back to the room and I
just I laid down in bed, grabbed a book, and
then within like five minutes I.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Was out five seconds submit like text you I need
a charger. I have a phone, George.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I get like three two pages and I'm out. I
don't even know why try to read it. I don't.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
I don't know why you do anything besides just turn
the lights off and close your eyes, because that's what
happens the second you turn the TV on in the
room or you open a book.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, but that's how I go to sleep quick, so
I just keep doing that. Yeah, but we had fun.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
We made the cutest hats, which turns into those craft
projects are always hard because I found this cute idea,
they made it together and.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Make it look so easy on blogs it's Instagram.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
It's that I didn't have enough like glue guns or
matchpodge or scissors.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
You're in a hotel room, so you can't really just like, oh,
let me go run to the other side of the
house and find it.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
And find some Yeah, And so it turns out that
you know they'll pick out and want to do things,
and then me and Holly are there like help them
do this, and they're like, oh, well, then can I
have a heart instead of this? Can I have a
shape of this? And of course they're helping and doing things,
but it takes time like to literally like get everything
on there and set and so they're like, okay, mister,
(05:05):
and you know, here's mine and then here's mine.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
And here's mine.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
So they're all like lined up and they're like, piece out.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
We're going to play, which is fine, but this is
everything I want you to do with the hat. It's
laid out. Yeah, so it.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Turns out so like holy cow, Like now we're up
till like one o'clock in the morning like trying to
finish these hats and half the girls, which I will
say it was kind of nice during a birthday on
like a school night late at the end of the
week because like the girls were exhausted, Like when we
were waiting on pizza Riley Inley, like a couple of
them were like already like laying down ready to go
to bed, and I was like, what in the world.
(05:38):
But then once we had pizza and then we start
the craft, it was fire on again.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah. I went to bed and then I woke up
like always, I woke up at like five thirty six,
and so I just grabbed my laptop and my iPad
and I just went down to the lobby. I was like, well,
I'll just go work down there. Because Blake was still asleep.
I couldn't really make much noise in the room or
turn any lights on, so I just went downstairs. I
(06:05):
have to walk past Danielle's room to get to the elevator,
and it was like six six, maybe six thirty by
the time I was like walking down.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
And I didn't even get white noise on or anything
because I didn't have a phone charger.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
And I didn't have a charge. With the kids, I
was like, oh gosh, they're early.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yeah, they were like one of the girls was like,
I'm gonna get up first. I always get up early.
And then they're like, okay, well you wake me up.
And I'm like, we don't have to wake anybody yet.
But I always sleep with like white noise or like
fan noise and whatnot. Well, I didn't have a phone charger.
I knew I packed it, but I couldn't find it.
(06:43):
And Holly didn't have one either, and we have the
old plug in for our phones, and so if all
the other girls who had like a phone, they was
all like the newer version, and so neither one of
us had a phone charger. I'm like texting Adams, He's
not responding, Blake's not responding this, And then I realized
it was like after midnight. I'm like, oh my gosh,
I'm not going to be able to put that on.
(07:04):
It's gonna draw my battery out.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
So I definitely heard everything, heard everything, But we did
have a lot of fun, even though it was extra
stressful and hard. Yeah, with complications and things that didn't
go as plained, but you know that always seems to
happen in some aspect. But girls couldn't tell that anything
(07:27):
didn't go as perfect as they wanted it. They had
a blast, and I think when we got home, like
all them, moll was just like, my girls are exhausted,
My kids exhausted, Like they can't stop talking about the party.
So I'm like, yeah, love me a good party.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Oh yeah, Because I went, I had like kind of
like a business meeting that night after we got home,
and I took three of the girls with me, which
was brave because which was not smart because like like
I'm trying to talk about some serious like work stuff
and Riley is just like exhausted, And I know, I
(08:04):
was surprised that she even wanted to come. But then
you know, whenever she gets like headstrong about like I'm tired,
I want to leave. Yeah, And I'm like in the
middle of like a serious conversation about some stuff that
I needed to talk to talk about, and she just
wouldn't let up. Finally, like she came to me just
like crying, like she's so tired. She's like, yeah, okay,
(08:25):
I need to go. Yeah, and exhausted. I told her
like go lay down, Like no, you.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Came and oh you. I fell asleep on the couch
and I didn't know if you were still going or not.
And you woke me up. You're like you've been sleeping
for three hours. I'm like three hours. We hadn't been
home three hours. Well it's like eight o'clock. Yeah, but
I've only been sleeping for like forty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
But I but I knew whenever you'd wake up, You're
like you'd be like where the heck are you? And
so like I knew I needed to wake you up,
like Hey, I'm leaving. I'm taking some of your kids,
Like you need a way up, so like you hear me.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
I love how you always interpret the way that you communicate.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
And you're like, why are you so grumping?
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I'm like, you literally just woke me up and I
don't have the correct up grump yeah yeah, And you're like,
I'm leaving, oh blah blah if you've been sleeping for tears,
I'm like, whoa, Like I'm trying to like function right now. Exhausted,
(09:31):
get out of my face, is what I was saying. Bye.
Could have left a note.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, I guess I should have. Okay, we're gonna start
with a couple of connect cards and then we'll get
into the topic. It's full today. I'm SUPPRISU. You're not
looking at them as you're shuffling, and I'm not looking
at them this time. All right? What if something you
wish we could share that we don't hobby relationship memory.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I mean it's been twenty something years. I feel like
we've shared more things than not. I used to love,
like the photography and kind of stuff, but it's taken
a whole nother level of.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Business is complexity. Yeah, and it's not.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
It's not it's not fun to me because if I
if I'm ever holding a camera or whatever, I get critiqued.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
So or if I got to take a photo, you're
like one up me.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Every time I go take a picture with my phone,
You're like, let me do it with my phone, Like,
oh my gosh. But to I mean, I used to
love doing stuff like that, like family pictures and stuff.
But I, let's say a lot of the things that
we've always we've shared, adventure and things together.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
This is that we don't I know, what do we
don't What do we do that we don't share?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Maybe I wish I shared the same interest in the
space of I kind of wish to do. But then
I'm glad I don't like the politics and the media,
news and like that world of knowledge.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
But you because you're learning more and more than a
lot of other people that we know wives know a
lot as well. So what are you saying about me?
Because like that's something you never really cared about and
I still don't. And then like we'll be in a
conversation with a group of people and I want, who's
that necessarily be about politics? But it may just be
(11:41):
like what's going on in the news right now or whatever,
And Danielle's just completely oblivious, and everybody's like kind of
having a discussion, and he's like.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, I don't care, it doesn't bother me. But if
there's something that.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
But you at least want to kind of feel like
you're in the know, yeah, possibly you can hold the
conversation or keep it going.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
No literally exhausts means, and I'm like, can we please
change this subject? But if there was something that I
wish I had a desire to connect with you, but
then I think that would only make it worse for you.
Why because when you start on a rant of it,
it's like never ending. So could you imagine if I
(12:22):
was ranting on certain things too, it'd be like never ending.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Sounds like a fun night, It doesn't all right? Doing
one for me?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
What are some of the things that we've done together
that you're proud of? I mean, I mean it's a
pretty obvious thing of just like kind of done this life,
which against really all odds. I mean, you know, we
(12:55):
hear so much about like not many couples survive of
what we've been through, you know, for one, being parents
to high order multiples, You got the cards stacked against
you because it's like high stress, high pressure situation. Couple
that with running multiple businesses and companies and trying to
(13:18):
keep business afloat. Couple that with having a television show
filming every bit of it that's super high stress, and
then just having a very public life on social media
and stuff like that, and just like you know, they
just the typical critiques of the world that.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
You know, still they don't necessarily bother you. I mean,
they still get under your skin every now and then
just because it's just like, Okay, it's stupid that people
would like say something or whatever, but because like half
the half the things that people say, they it's stupid,
like ridiculously ignorant comments that they just don't know, you know.
(14:02):
So like all of that kind of piled on top
of us, and we've still i mean, here we are
ten years later, like still together, just started a podcast
like super open about just our wins our losses are
you know, just opening up to the world and stuff
(14:22):
and like showing you like this is this is real,
this is who we are and not just like living
this like kind of fake life of just like faking it.
So I mean, I'm proud of that. I'm proud that
we've beat all the odds and doing what we're doing
and being able to you know, kind of just still
like sustain our family in this household and raising our kids,
(14:45):
you know, in the church, and you know, keeping that
keeping that Christian godly influence as a priority in our
in our own marriage and on our kids' lives and
stuff like that. I mean, it's hard to do. It's
hard to do nowadays, you know. So pretty much sums
it up. I mean, I'm pretty proud that we've been
(15:08):
able to like do what we do, what we've done,
and some days it feels like the world's rooting against you. Yeah,
are just like already assumed that, like you're going to
fail and you know you're just going to end up
like everybody else. You know, that's kind of been in
our shoes before. Still rocking rolling.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
So what are we talking about today? Buzz Speaking of buzz,
I told Blake, I showed her that id Buzz Bulkswagen,
but so cute. I want the green and white one
so bad. It's really mean, but it's called the Buzz.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I even looked into it. I even looked into it like,
would this be a feasible option to even like replace
the bus that we have. It's not. We'll never get
rid of the actual suckers paid off. We could I
want to drive that sucker to the wheels fall off.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
We could get rid of the drug and get the idea.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
But I did tell Danielle. I was like, I would, actually, no,
you would look weird in that. I actually trade my
truck in for that thing. And it's called buzz No,
it's like meant to be. Come on, Volkswagen, give us
a little sponsorship beer. Give me a six.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
The green and white one specifically, I don't. I saw
the orange. Which color do you like?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Either the all white or the white with the blue?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
No, yeah, you gotta have the color on it. I
love the green one. I saw the orange one on
the road the other day and I was like, that's
so cute. But Blake's like, I would never be seen
in that. I said, yeah, you would, and she's like, no,
I would walk to school.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
The thing that kind of made me scratch my head
with it because mini vans and this isn't it's like
a mid sized van, but many vans they're kind of
rated by how many cup holders they have, Like that's
a big deal for a mini van, like to have
a lot of cup holders because you're transporting a lot
(17:09):
of people all the time, Like everybody needs a place
to put their drink or whatever. And this van VW
made for some weird reason, they did not the middle
row of seats right behind the drivers passengers there's no
cup holders. Like so people like get in the car
(17:29):
with like whatever.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
They not even like them center console like or anything.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
No cup holders. There's cup holders in the third or
of that and the driver passenger have a cup holder,
but the middle road there's not a single cup holder. No,
that's weird. It is weird. Let's maybe scratch my head,
like why would they go through all the thought into
this vehicle and not put any cup holders in the
(17:53):
middle row. Yeah, it's interesting. I would have never thought
about that. I wish wear that. That almost turned me
off like that right there, like turn me on weird
And I would never even sit there. But like I'm
just thinking about my kids getting in it and they're
trying to find a place to put their cut, Like
if we had to stop for fast food or whatever
(18:14):
on the way home.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
The seat, how the armor, like the seat metal thing
comes down between the two. Nope, none, it's weird. I've
never known a card and not have cup holders in
the middle like in the backseat.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
But they got cell phones sliding pockets and behind the seats.
Well maybe you can slide a cup in there. Yeah,
you're super thin. So today's episode we're going to talk
about when life feels overwhelming. I think we kind of
like touched on that a little bit last episode. You
(18:47):
didn't say what episode it was. This is the last
episode was twenty eight. This is twenty nine, Yeah, because
we we hit on that a little bit, just talking
about peace. Yeah, and I feel like our life does
get overwhelming pretty easily, you know, like just there's just
the amount of stuff that we have to juggle. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
I mean, like, for instance, like right now, like we're
approaching this phase where bathrooms are important. We've got a
teenager who's fourteen, and then five ten year olds, and
we're jumping into this stage of no one really showers together.
They want to be by themselves, they want alone time
in the bathroom, which makes it share take way more
(19:30):
time than it used to. Yeah, and so like that's
a big deal. So thinking about Okay, well, what do
we do about this? How do we how do we
make this work? How do we start baths right after school?
Like no, you know, it's just it's complicated. So like
when one thing changes, yeah, a milestone, chang's a lumpsome
(19:52):
all at one time. So for a family being like
oh okay, yeah, like they don't want to share a bathroom,
that's okay. But when you've got five of them that
are like all the same age, they all same grade,
they all need to go to bed the same time,
like so they're on this same like routine and schedule,
it's just really challenging whenever we don't have enough bathrooms
(20:13):
to accommodate. And this might sound so what's the word
something stupid to complain about.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
First world problems?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Yeah, and I mean yeah, so hey complain about it,
but it is it's so frustrating in what we where
we are in this level of understanding that like everything
is getting more independent and more divided versus things still
being together. And so even like even in our bathroom,
we have like a shower and then a tub separate
(20:44):
and it's like, well she's in the shower.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Well go get in the tub. Like it's fine, we
all got the same parts.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
And I'm like they're going through that phase where they're
starting to like not necessarily want to be like seen.
And I'm like, girl, we all the say except your daddy,
and those limits have been cut offul years and years ago,
like no one goes in the bathroom and Daddy's in
there or and you know, and so it's like that
embarrassment they're starting to learn that or like I don't know,
(21:15):
and so there's just a lot of things that we're
stepping into which is overwhelming.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I mean, I have like a few little like bullet
points or whatever just to like hit on, but one
of them is how it feels to be stretched then
as a parent and a business owner. And it gets
it gets overwhelming some days because like you know, whether
it's like days where you need to be out of
the house most of the day because some stuff going
(21:42):
on up at the up at the store, or you
get so involved in like so many different things because
you have stuff going on at the store, you have
stuff going on with church and like women's groups and
activities and Bible studies and stuff and like juggling all that.
But then I mean, for the most part. Most days
I am able to do what I do from our
(22:06):
home office. You know, there's a lot of things I
can still do, but there's days where I have to
be Like i may go out on a photo shoot
and I'm gone for literally hours before the kids need
to leave for school. I got to be out of
the house and then you know until five or six o'clock.
I mean I'm walking in the house right at dinner time.
You know, those make for very stressful days. And then
(22:28):
especially if we have like kids with sports or extracurricular
activities after school and stuff, you know, things just get
overwhelming and you feel like you're so stretched thin. You know,
in a sense, like you feel a little bit of
like guilt. I do. I think you've kind of come
(22:49):
to the understanding that you need that time and you'll
prioritize the time. But like I, for some weird reason,
like I still have this like guilt about just like
having me time or you know, separating time for myself
or you know, I'll tell people know a lot. I
think it's just because like that that sense of like
overwhelmedness creeps in, like I feel like I'm not doing enough.
(23:14):
But like on a day where I have to be
out of the house all day and work, I feel
like I'm missing out and I feel like I didn't
contribute that day. And that's what I felt like a
lot whenever I went, you know, and I stepped away
from my career, because I mean that was like one
hundredfold like what that feeling is now. But you know,
I felt anytime I'm not in the house, I feel
(23:35):
like I'm not there to help with something or something
gets overwhelming or you are.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Do you think that's a you thing or do you
think that other dads and men can relate to that?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
That's a good question. And I was actually just thinking
about that, like is that me just like my temperament
or my character or it's just our situation as a family,
Like I know what it takes to like run this house,
Like whenever I'm not able to be there, you know,
(24:12):
on a given day, like I just feel it's not
even foma, like I feel guilty, Like I feel I
feel bad for not being home. And I don't know,
I don't any any other dads or any other wives
that are like hearing this. I'm like, oh yeah, like
my husband's voice that or any other dads that are
(24:33):
watching this, like do you have those same feelings? Yeah,
But a lot of that stuff too comes down to,
like I have a lot of forensic like no problem,
Like they'll leave and they'll be gone all day and
they'll play golf and do that all the time and stuff,
and like they'll ask me, I'm like, no, I would never, like,
like I do that maybe a few times a year tops. Nowadays.
(24:56):
I used to do it more often, but no, I'm
not just gonna go like yeah, but also thing it
hanging out a golf course for six, six to eight hours.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
It also depends on the age of kids too. Yeah,
you know, like we're in a busy we're still like
in a busy season with their.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Kids, have to be like really hands on, still.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Still having to do for them a lot. And so
that's that's one aspect. But I do think that do
you think that just being home is contentment and you're
here because a lot of times you are here, but
you're not here, you're just working.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Is that the same thing? But I'm like here if
like something happens or somebody needs me, so like I
can like stop what I'm doing and step out. But yeah,
I mean, even if I'm home, you know, I may
have to do some work or whatever where I'm at
my computer till six o'clock because I'm in the middle
of something or I have a deadline, but I'm still
(25:56):
home to where like if something happens or things get
too chaotic or two out of hand or whatever, I
can like set this down and go like tend to
it instead of just like completely not being here and
feel like I've let the family down in a sense.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Well, it's interesting. I mean, it's interesting to hear that
from you because I think that those thoughts are lies
that you're putting in your head and telling yourself. Because
I don't think that those I don't think that in
a sense that when you're gone out of the home
(26:36):
that you're not contributing in a way. I mean, and
this goes back to like old school of like the
men work and the mom stay at home and yadi
yady audio.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
It's like and it could be are I mean, I
hear you, And honestly, that could be like how I
was raised and like my dad, like my mom stayed home. Well,
my mom worked up to a certain point and then
she retired from teaching and then she stayed home and
then you know, my dad was sole provider, and I
don't know, maybe that's just like the that was like
(27:08):
ingrained in me.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
But I feel like we we are capable of the
level that we live in the work that we do.
We're flexible a lot, and that's something that we've been
very fortunate to have because of having six kids, in
the need for both of us to juggle all that
right and the desire in the hearts that says we
(27:30):
want to be the parents who are the ones doing
I don't think it's wrong for you to not be
in the home when it's something that's involved with work.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, And then I also go back to like when
like there is certain periods of time, like in what
I do in my job, where like coming up in May,
I'm gone more than i'm home, literally in another state,
gone more than I'm home of that entire month. And
(28:02):
so it's in a sense like I think I think
of all those times that because you know, I have
to be there, and so it's almost like my guilt
is almost like making up for like me being away.
I don't know, I'm kind of just fleshing out thoughts
(28:23):
in my head as I'm as I'm talking, but but
are you?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
But I'm trying to understand, like where where you feel
like you have guilt because babe, I'm badass, let me
just say it.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
And I don't know why you think that. I don't
know if other if other dads like feel this way honestly,
But that's that's the curious thing. I think dad's that.
But even like some of my other friends that I
do hang out with and do do stuff, their kids
are mostly different stages of life where they're a lot
more independent and like not really need to be his
(28:55):
hands on, so it's easier for them. In my opinion,
it's easier for them to like step away and god
do stuff because their kids are so self sufficient, no
big deal, Or I just have our Maybe it's like
PTSD and like flashbacks from whenever like I went through.
I don't know, Maybe I just haven't completely worked through
stuff and I still have that like guilt of.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Not being around when they were yeah babies, early one.
Maybe so we should look into that.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Maybe it's like a PSD PTSD thing.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Because I don't think it's true because like we talk
often about how important it is, like just like for
mental health too, just to have our quality time as marriage, couples,
quality time, as family, quality times, as Danielle quality times.
Is Adam like separate and how it might not replenish
(29:50):
you in a way to be like going to play
golf with the guys, But guess what that is something
you do need. You do need to still be Adam.
You still don't need to be Adam the friend. And
you're not just Adam Danielle's husband, dad to six girls.
You also are a brother, you're a brother in law,
(30:11):
you're a friend, and those are important too. You still
need community, and we speak a lot about how community
is so important, and if you're not making time too
to involve in those type of things, then you're slacking
on that community aspect that other people can feed into
you and as you can feed into others. And so
I do think that there's something else underline that's keeping
(30:34):
you from saying like you're the guilt of it. But
we know the guilt doesn't come from the Lord, and
so it's not true what you're feeling. You just have
to work through why do you feel that way about
this scenario? And we both are very different when it
comes to stuff like that. I mean, I have fomo
and missing out on anything when it's like with the kids.
But we've also had to juggle a lot of divide
(30:56):
and conquer and we rotate, and so that's been okay.
But there's a lot of times like if you know,
I had to work a Saturday and you know, there
was a soccer game or there's volleyball this or whatever,
and you can't go, and it's like that sucks.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
But I know that it's not all.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
The time, and so this one time, hopefully they don't
remember that I'm not there this one time, but they
remember every other time that I was there, and how
important that is. Try not to look on the which
this is from Vanmore's reality.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
You are very much.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
You shoot for the negative and analyze before you see positive,
and I look at the positive and encouragement and to go.
You would dwell on the fact that you're missing this
one thing, even if it was for something you wanted
to do.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
You want to go like all.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
These things, versus knowing that you've had countless number of
times with the kids on these events and whatever, and
you know, I mean, we can't be here every beck
and call, you know, I mean we do have to
financially support our family and have to divide and conquer
and do things that we know we have to do.
(32:11):
But I don't want you to feel that you can't
do that, because I know it's important, how much I
need it. I know you say it doesn't mean the
same thing to you to go out like hang out
with the guys or whatever. But it's still important. Yeah,
still important to all your dad's out there too. It's
still important in new wives and new moms.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah, it's still it's hard to remind yourself and tell yourself,
like how beneficial that is to have other men in
your life that you can confide in and bounce things
off of and just have fun with and just like
put your guard down and people that you can trust.
And you know, it's so beneficial for your own sanity
(32:54):
and stuff. I don't quite do it as much as
I should.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I know that no lot of a lot of your work,
A lot of your work involves a lot of fun
guy time.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Sure, true, that and that and that could be it too.
I mean I have we always make fun off we're working. Yeah,
I'm fortunate to where like my my job allows me
to do some very fun stuff. And so it's like
like whenever I'm not working and there are people you
want to hang around too, so and yeah, yeah, so
(33:26):
that could be it too. It's like I almost feel
guilty sometimes whenever I'm working but I'm having fun at work.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Absolutely not that's the best.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Because you don't, because I feel like, no, they don't.
They don't think I'm working.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
You know, if you're not having fun at work, then
we don't need to be working.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, what else we got? What do we do whenever
we feel like we're burnt out? Dude, I'm like, leave
me alone when I'm stressed out.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
When I'm burnt out, I like, just I need.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Nobody to talk to me.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
I want to escape to like quietness, like and then
when I'm burnt out, I'm like, if somebody else asked
me for one more thing, I'm going to blow up.
So I'm like, just don't talk to me, leave me alone.
That's what I do. Yeah, you do it in a
(34:25):
certain way, but I will verbalize. I just can't right now.
I need some time. I need I need a long time, Like,
nobody talk to me, leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I'm going in the room.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
I'm closing the door. And you'll just go in your office,
closed the door and not talk to us.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
But then I also like, I mean there's there's been
like certain things that are in our life that I
used to think we're such a big priority because I
put these expectations on us and our businesses and even
like our like YouTube channel. I know, I used to like, Okay,
we got to put up one video per week and
(35:02):
like stick to that schedule and stuff. And whenever I
was doing a lot of that solo, like I got
burnt out because I was doing that TV show also
business and I got you know, us through the season
of like working, you know, i'd go work.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
That's when you turn into the one man team.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Yeah, that's when of my turn into like I just
like get.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Really to do everything by yourself and and then it's
everybody else's problem.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
But I did realize, like you know, a while back,
that things that like expectations that I put on myself,
it's okay to not do that. And so right now,
like we haven't posted like a YouTube video and probably
a month and a half, two months, it's probably been
a month and a half, And I'm okay with that
(35:50):
because I know whenever I get into that mode, because
there's gonna be seasons where you know, we need to
like buckle down and do some stuff, you know, and
bang out some content. But I have so much going
on that I don't make that the priority. You know,
I'll let those things slide to like save my sanity,
(36:12):
save me, and I'll go to the gym. Make sure
I'm going to the gym and making sure that I'm
hitting those things, and that's what kind of replenishes me
and fills me back up. So you you like that today,
like I went to I went up to the office,
and I came home. There was nobody here, and I
knew that, like there's some stuff that I need to do.
(36:34):
But I mean I literally took thirty minutes and I
sat in my office in this chair with the lights out,
nothing on, like my cell phone was over there, and
I prayed for thirty minutes. And just like I listened
to this podcast this morning, and just like talking about
(36:55):
just in a sense, like I feel like I'm in
a season of like just filling hacked, and like there's
just I feel like there's a lot of stuff like
attacking us right now and kind of coming at us
from a lot of different angles and and I literally
just sat here and just like tried to listen to
God and what do you say, Uh, did you hear him?
(37:19):
One thing scared me And I don't know what it meant,
but you're you gonna say it on this microphone. No,
he didn't say it. Like it wasn't like God speaking
to me. It was just the podcast. Like I had
this picture come into my head like scared me to
the point where like I started screaming. And uh, because
I'm just sitting there like just like trying to just
(37:43):
be here in the presence of God us as believers
in Christ, like he is within us, he is part
of us. Just trying to just like focus and meditate
and like on that. And then all of a sudden,
I just saw this like rush of just this face
like right in my face, like just with like clenched teeth,
(38:04):
just staring like straight into my eyes. And I just
like jumped back and like it gave it gives me
chills right now, and I just started screaming. I don't
know what that meant or if it was like whose
face was it? No, it just what I would have
visioned a demon. Dude, that's scary. Yeah, and like it
(38:28):
freaked me out. Do you feel like you've had that.
I was praying over our house. I was praying over
like our home and our family and our businesses, and
then all of a sudden, it's just like, yeah, I'm attacked.
Like it's almost like just like showing up, like yeah,
I'm coming after you. That's what it felt like. And
(38:48):
that's whenever like I really started just like yelling and
just like you know in Jesus name, like rebuking, and
but it was it was intense. It was weird. Hm, yeah,
you can get weird sometimes. I've never had a dark image.
The spiritual spiritual warfare is definitely real, guys, and what
(39:09):
you call it like dark spirit spirits, the spirit realm
is every bit is real as this is right here
and like evident today. And then I prayed and I
prayed and I prayed and I stayed here. I like
I felt better, I got I had a peace. Whenever
(39:31):
like a like stopped. God was here and he was
protecting me. I'm freaking you out. I probably shouldn't have
talked about that right now, because like it's still kind
of don't it's fresh. I should have probably spoke with
you about it before bringing it up on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Well, I'll tell you a story after the podcast is over.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
No, everybody's gonna be wondering after Adam just dropped this
crazy demon bomb on us. No.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
Yeah, I've never had like a dark, dark rim imaging
of like I feel like an attack in a lot
of ways multiple times in my life, but I've never
had a something like that. Like I pray, I never do,
but I've never seen visually like something dark.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
It's crazy. Yeah, it's not. It's kind off topic, but
I don't know when to ry yet. But but I
mean the last thing that I had on there is
just like encouragement for people that are going through this
hard time. I think it's something that is very fluid
with us and like how we handle it in certain
times and just like how we feel. And I mean
(40:48):
my biggest thing right now, especially like I feel like
we're in a we're in the middle of like a
hard time and very evident that whether it's me or
our house or whatever, or you know, I just feel
like we're under an attack. I feel like I was
face to face with that today and to spend time
in prayer, spend time in the words. That's what gives
(41:13):
me the relief. Like I'll go through seasons where I
have so much anxiety and just worry about just because
we have so much going on and so many things
to like keep track of and keep in my head
and stay on top of. Where like I'm just like
waking up in the middle of the night and I
can't sleep, and uh really yeah, I mean a lot
(41:37):
of times you probably think I'm sleeping, but I'm not.
I'm just sitting there thinking story. But you know, I
take time out of the day and I just get
quiet and get alone, read my Bible and pray, and
usually that anxiety that I had earlier subsides and I'm
(41:59):
able to kind of go on with the day. That's
like the biggest thing that's helped helped me like through
through seasons of just like anxiety and just feeling overwhelmed.
And for me, that's the only thing that like gets
me through that. Like I'll talk with like a few
like close friends or whatever, and like they'll pray for
(42:20):
me and stuff like that. But like I'll be more
so intentional about just like spending time just like meditating
on the word and just like speaking to God and
just like asking him to you know, just seeking wisdom
and peace and and just guidance through just asking God
(42:40):
just to show me we've we've you know, just a
few weeks ago, like Brian was speaking up on stage
and just like he's not gonna. God is not going
to reveal everything to you. You know, he may just
he may just light your path to take one more
step and uh, and just asking God just like show
me what my name step should be so that I
(43:01):
can take it and I'll pass that test, but like
show me where my next step is. So one step
at a time. Yeah, you got anything? Hang out a lot? Yeah,
I mean I am.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
It's just it's so interesting how different we both are
in one the way that we process, the way that
we communicate, the way that we experience. What's hard for
me is not for you. What's hard for you is
not for me. Like I'm not an anxious worrier, but
I know you are. But you're not very verbal about
(43:43):
a lot, not at all. So you try to still
have like your mane up, act like things are not
act like things are fine. But if you tell me
you're not sleeping in all these things, like you're very
good at hiding it, you know, and so it takes
a while for it to be like exposed in the
(44:04):
world of like for me to see because you know,
your your work is here and home, it's in your office,
it's there's not a lot of different things like you know,
so I would I think that what you need to
do is get yourself more breaks and divide your days
up and then you're out in the yard or like
(44:27):
working on your truck or working in the garage, like
you know when you're on carnivore diet.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
When I was, you.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Still like the weight that you the weight that you're
putting on yourself is not meant to be alone. And
I think that that's advice for everybody is community is
important to walk life with. And if you're struggling in
any aspect, there's someone who I know, whether it could
be your neighb or your sister or your friend, your brother,
(44:58):
someone at church, there's somebody that you a counselor therapist,
online counseling whatever, like, get to talk into somebody because
you can't hold that stuff in or it's only going
to I'm trying to get the word before I make
up my own word. Spiral down with anxiety and the
worry and stuff. And so there might be things that
(45:20):
I like think about or worry about, but I don't
hold on to. I don't feel like I get anxious
in those type don't. I don't really feel like I
ever do. And there's been times, but I do think
that the rim of what we've kind of been, like
God's kind of been revealing to us over the last
maybe like six months or so, and just changes and
(45:43):
overwhelmingness of different paths to start taking. It is a lot.
It's very heavy, a lot of big things that you know,
I kind of even randomly brought up, I think last
week or the week before, Katie's calling me, like what
the heck is going on? I'm like, oh way, what
did I say? But I do I do like this
(46:07):
podcast form just to be able to you know, and
I'll honestly it like it helps I don't have a
problem talking. It helps you talk, it helps you feel.
And if this is and if this is what it is, like,
it's fine. Like number one thing for people who are
struggling is that don't walk it alone, you know, and
(46:29):
even as a married couple. Right here, and he's telling
me some things that I've I know these things, but
I'm not knowing the weight that it's feeling on him
because he doesn't want to show me that in some
aspect as much as you do. At times, you're very
cautious about how you're feeling, probably because I am a
(46:53):
lot more expressive. Maybe you think that you need to
protect that more or not in I don't really know,
but I do think that I probably should have more
time where I'm like more or less asking you the
questions instead of expressing how I feel or what's overwhelming
(47:15):
me or whatnot. But you know, I'm a verbal processor,
so I have to say those things. But I think
that's my biggest takeaway for people struggling is that God's
Word is living words. And when I find myself wrapped
up in scripture and doing Bible studies and having conversations
(47:38):
with other people, like trials just are not as weighted
and they are not as hard because I am reminded
by encouragement from community or people that there's always hope,
and I'm reminded in God's word that He's always there
with me and he already knows what's next that we
(48:00):
need to remain in trusting in Him for the journey
that we're going on. It's never going to be easy,
it's never going to be perfect, it's never really going
to be exactly what we want. And I think that
we're a story of testament to that, like walking in
faith and walking in trust that God will not deny
you and you will not be His sons and daughters.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
If you know our.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
Story and you've heard these podcast episodes where we've talked about,
you know, the trials that we've walked through with infertility
and quintuplet pregnancy and the NICKU and like holding onto
that faith in all those moments of there's nothing I
can do, and whether you're in financial stress, job stress,
(48:43):
relationship stress, whatever that might be, like God is there
to bring you comfort into assure you that like there's
beauty on the other side of whatever He's going to
send you through. Community is good to keep you encouraged
in wreck you back to always say what is it
that we do know? What is it that we do know?
(49:06):
And you have to we have to remind ourselves that
we do know that God is good, and God is just,
and God is hope and God is loving and those
are the things we do know. What we don't know
is what's going on with work, what's going on with relationships,
what's going on with finances, what's going on whatever the
struggle is, Like, we don't know the outcome, we don't
(49:26):
know how to handle, but we have to remain and
know that, like who what we do know? And we
do know that God is good. And so that's something
that I always am reminded and I always me and
my friends we always repeat that back to each other
whenever we're like looking for support or encouragement and you know,
kind of confessing some struggles or whatnot. So, yeah, hope
(49:50):
this podcast was I mean, it was a lot of
it was insightful and open in kind of like, Okay,
it's a different level for me kind of hearing you know,
my husband kind of like share.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
But I love it.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
I love being able to hear you be a little
bit more expressive about things because we talk about these
things that men don't always have to be tough. Even
as much as you say that to preach that in
me too, it's still hard. It's still hard. It's not easy.
So thank you for being a little bit vulnerable there.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, and I feel like you know if there's any
any of you out there that kind of feel those
same things and like those thoughts that I was kind
of trying to flesh out that I didn't really fully
have together. Like if you if you agree with that,
I mean, like let us know, and like you're not
alone you know in those in those thoughts and those
(50:42):
feelings and stuff, and you know there's some feelings that
are just very isolating.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Yeah, And I feel like a lot of men and
dads and husbands can relate to what you're saying, because
it's a very like it's still part of that comes
down to like the stigma of men in having to
feel like hal to weigh that. But what we do
good together is work at a team. Yeah, And we've
always said that. We've always we know when we're a team,
(51:08):
we were good together. And so just be mindful of
that with your spouse too. Is that y'all are team.
It's never you against him, like being united in in
all things and even in the even in the hard yep.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
So thank you guys for hearing us out and hearing
these these things that we probably maybe never verbalized but
just kind of working through. But I feel like that's
I don't know. It helps me because just because I'm
a I'm such an internal processor, but just like I
(51:45):
don't know, being here in front of this mic, in
front of a camera or whatever, it just like forces
me to like just okay, I'm just gonna go and
say it when I don't normally do that. So thank
you guys for sticking around for episode twenty nine. Every
time I asked you a question, I'm just going to
put a mic in your face more than reality podcast.
(52:05):
Thanks for listening and we'll see you in the next one.
Love you, guys.
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
We survived birthday a week the last party. Oh, Welcome
to More Than Reality Podcast with Adam and Danielle Busby.
That's me last what was it Friday and Saturday? It
was like the last of the parties.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yes, so we had a lot of blast. I mean, listen, guys,
I'm gonna sound weird. I'm gonna cough a lot. I
don't feel good right now, but still rocking and rolling
in filming. And so if I sound weird, that's why
sinus allergies and probably exhaustion from the quin's birthday party.
(01:02):
We had a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Of Probably why you run down so much because you've
got very little sleep because you were in your own
room in that but that hits you pretty hard whenever
you don't get a lot of sleep.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Well that and it's just like seasonal, I mean, like,
I mean, this is like the fourth time that this
has happened.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
And we've had a crap ton of pollen.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah, I mean it's I can't stop my eyes water
in my nose. I wake up in the morning and
I lift my head up and it just like like
water straight out. I'm like gross, Sorry guys about that.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah, they did like a little sleepover at this local
Great Wolf Lige. This is like, I mean the first
time that we went to like the water part of
it and stuff like you've gone to, like you've taken
the kids to, like a birthday party there before.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
And that's why they wanted to do well, They've they
have asked for a sleepover birthday party for years. I'm like,
let's just wait till we're ten, we do that. Save
that for double digits because I always wanted like to sleepover,
and I'm like, we don't have enough room for that,
Like you quins, can't have anybody else over if you
want a tint like the like Blake did.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I think she baked for like ten up in the playrooms.
There's not enough room for that. We'd have to like
line them along the banister and walk away and stuff too.
That's what we did for Blakes.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
There was two up there and like the hallway banister anyway,
So we found Great Wolf had like a room that
sleeps like twelve bunk room, like two conjoining rooms and
whatever and couch beds and stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And so those little bunk rooms are pretty cool. Yeah,
they were little kids. I guess they're twin size though. Yeah, yeah,
there's twin sized beds, but a room with like four
bunk beds.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Yeah, I mean they had a blast, Like the kids
had a blast. It was we were staying the night
there and it was me and a friend. Holly came
to chaperone and help with me in the quin girl
room because yeah, no boys allowed, but we still need Adam.
We had a lot of fun late night, early morning, but.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Super early morning. I was in.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
His own room and him and Blake stayed in there,
and Blake's frien Julia, who is her mom, was with me.
But we all hung out and you know, helped and
had fun or whatever. But me and Holly stayed in
the room with the twelve little girls.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
And they were doing like crafts and stuff and making
custom hats, and Daniel had all kinds of stuff lined
up for the kids. But yeah, I got to that
point where like the night.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Came around here, like give me some pizza, I'm out.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, I was like, I think my worker is done,
and so I went back to the room and I
just I laid down in bed, grabbed a book, and
then within like five minutes I.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Was out five seconds submit like text you I need
a charger. I have a phone, George.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I get like three two pages and I'm out. I
don't even know why try to read it. I don't.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
I don't know why you do anything besides just turn
the lights off and close your eyes, because that's what
happens the second you turn the TV on in the
room or you open a book.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, but that's how I go to sleep quick, so
I just keep doing that. Yeah, but we had fun.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
We made the cutest hats, which turns into those craft
projects are always hard because I found this cute idea,
they made it together and.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Make it look so easy on blogs it's Instagram.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
It's that I didn't have enough like glue guns or
matchpodge or scissors.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
You're in a hotel room, so you can't really just like, oh,
let me go run to the other side of the
house and find it.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
And find some Yeah, And so it turns out that
you know they'll pick out and want to do things,
and then me and Holly are there like help them
do this, and they're like, oh, well, then can I
have a heart instead of this? Can I have a
shape of this? And of course they're helping and doing things,
but it takes time like to literally like get everything
on there and set and so they're like, okay, mister,
(05:05):
and you know, here's mine and then here's mine.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
And here's mine.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
So they're all like lined up and they're like, piece out.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
We're going to play, which is fine, but this is
everything I want you to do with the hat. It's
laid out. Yeah, so it.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Turns out so like holy cow, Like now we're up
till like one o'clock in the morning like trying to
finish these hats and half the girls, which I will
say it was kind of nice during a birthday on
like a school night late at the end of the
week because like the girls were exhausted, Like when we
were waiting on pizza Riley Inley, like a couple of
them were like already like laying down ready to go
to bed, and I was like, what in the world.
(05:38):
But then once we had pizza and then we start
the craft, it was fire on again.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah. I went to bed and then I woke up
like always, I woke up at like five thirty six,
and so I just grabbed my laptop and my iPad
and I just went down to the lobby. I was like, well,
I'll just go work down there. Because Blake was still asleep.
I couldn't really make much noise in the room or
turn any lights on, so I just went downstairs. I
(06:05):
have to walk past Danielle's room to get to the elevator,
and it was like six six, maybe six thirty by
the time I was like walking down.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
And I didn't even get white noise on or anything
because I didn't have a phone charger.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
And I didn't have a charge. With the kids, I
was like, oh gosh, they're early.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yeah, they were like one of the girls was like,
I'm gonna get up first. I always get up early.
And then they're like, okay, well you wake me up.
And I'm like, we don't have to wake anybody yet.
But I always sleep with like white noise or like
fan noise and whatnot. Well, I didn't have a phone charger.
I knew I packed it, but I couldn't find it.
(06:43):
And Holly didn't have one either, and we have the
old plug in for our phones, and so if all
the other girls who had like a phone, they was
all like the newer version, and so neither one of
us had a phone charger. I'm like texting Adams, He's
not responding, Blake's not responding this, And then I realized
it was like after midnight. I'm like, oh my gosh,
I'm not going to be able to put that on.
(07:04):
It's gonna draw my battery out.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
So I definitely heard everything, heard everything, But we did
have a lot of fun, even though it was extra
stressful and hard. Yeah, with complications and things that didn't
go as plained, but you know that always seems to
happen in some aspect. But girls couldn't tell that anything
(07:27):
didn't go as perfect as they wanted it. They had
a blast, and I think when we got home, like
all them, moll was just like, my girls are exhausted,
My kids exhausted, Like they can't stop talking about the party.
So I'm like, yeah, love me a good party.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Oh yeah, Because I went, I had like kind of
like a business meeting that night after we got home,
and I took three of the girls with me, which
was brave because which was not smart because like like
I'm trying to talk about some serious like work stuff
and Riley is just like exhausted, And I know, I
(08:04):
was surprised that she even wanted to come. But then
you know, whenever she gets like headstrong about like I'm tired,
I want to leave. Yeah, And I'm like in the
middle of like a serious conversation about some stuff that
I needed to talk to talk about, and she just
wouldn't let up. Finally, like she came to me just
like crying, like she's so tired. She's like, yeah, okay,
(08:25):
I need to go. Yeah, and exhausted. I told her
like go lay down, Like no, you.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Came and oh you. I fell asleep on the couch
and I didn't know if you were still going or not.
And you woke me up. You're like you've been sleeping
for three hours. I'm like three hours. We hadn't been
home three hours. Well it's like eight o'clock. Yeah, but
I've only been sleeping for like forty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
But I but I knew whenever you'd wake up, You're
like you'd be like where the heck are you? And
so like I knew I needed to wake you up,
like Hey, I'm leaving. I'm taking some of your kids,
Like you need a way up, so like you hear me.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
I love how you always interpret the way that you communicate.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
And you're like, why are you so grumping?
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I'm like, you literally just woke me up and I
don't have the correct up grump yeah yeah, And you're like,
I'm leaving, oh blah blah if you've been sleeping for tears,
I'm like, whoa, Like I'm trying to like function right now. Exhausted,
(09:31):
get out of my face, is what I was saying. Bye.
Could have left a note.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, I guess I should have. Okay, we're gonna start
with a couple of connect cards and then we'll get
into the topic. It's full today. I'm SUPPRISU. You're not
looking at them as you're shuffling, and I'm not looking
at them this time. All right? What if something you
wish we could share that we don't hobby relationship memory.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I mean it's been twenty something years. I feel like
we've shared more things than not. I used to love,
like the photography and kind of stuff, but it's taken
a whole nother level of.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Business is complexity. Yeah, and it's not.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
It's not it's not fun to me because if I
if I'm ever holding a camera or whatever, I get critiqued.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
So or if I got to take a photo, you're
like one up me.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Every time I go take a picture with my phone,
You're like, let me do it with my phone, Like,
oh my gosh. But to I mean, I used to
love doing stuff like that, like family pictures and stuff.
But I, let's say a lot of the things that
we've always we've shared, adventure and things together.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
This is that we don't I know, what do we
don't What do we do that we don't share?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Maybe I wish I shared the same interest in the
space of I kind of wish to do. But then
I'm glad I don't like the politics and the media,
news and like that world of knowledge.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
But you because you're learning more and more than a
lot of other people that we know wives know a
lot as well. So what are you saying about me?
Because like that's something you never really cared about and
I still don't. And then like we'll be in a
conversation with a group of people and I want, who's
that necessarily be about politics? But it may just be
(11:41):
like what's going on in the news right now or whatever,
And Danielle's just completely oblivious, and everybody's like kind of
having a discussion, and he's like.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, I don't care, it doesn't bother me. But if
there's something that.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
But you at least want to kind of feel like
you're in the know, yeah, possibly you can hold the
conversation or keep it going.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
No literally exhausts means, and I'm like, can we please
change this subject? But if there was something that I
wish I had a desire to connect with you, but
then I think that would only make it worse for you.
Why because when you start on a rant of it,
it's like never ending. So could you imagine if I
(12:22):
was ranting on certain things too, it'd be like never ending.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Sounds like a fun night, It doesn't all right? Doing
one for me?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
What are some of the things that we've done together
that you're proud of? I mean, I mean it's a
pretty obvious thing of just like kind of done this life,
which against really all odds. I mean, you know, we
(12:55):
hear so much about like not many couples survive of
what we've been through, you know, for one, being parents
to high order multiples, You got the cards stacked against
you because it's like high stress, high pressure situation. Couple
that with running multiple businesses and companies and trying to
(13:18):
keep business afloat. Couple that with having a television show
filming every bit of it that's super high stress, and
then just having a very public life on social media
and stuff like that, and just like you know, they
just the typical critiques of the world that.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
You know, still they don't necessarily bother you. I mean,
they still get under your skin every now and then
just because it's just like, Okay, it's stupid that people
would like say something or whatever, but because like half
the half the things that people say, they it's stupid,
like ridiculously ignorant comments that they just don't know, you know.
(14:02):
So like all of that kind of piled on top
of us, and we've still i mean, here we are
ten years later, like still together, just started a podcast
like super open about just our wins our losses are
you know, just opening up to the world and stuff
(14:22):
and like showing you like this is this is real,
this is who we are and not just like living
this like kind of fake life of just like faking it.
So I mean, I'm proud of that. I'm proud that
we've beat all the odds and doing what we're doing
and being able to you know, kind of just still
like sustain our family in this household and raising our kids,
(14:45):
you know, in the church, and you know, keeping that
keeping that Christian godly influence as a priority in our
in our own marriage and on our kids' lives and
stuff like that. I mean, it's hard to do. It's
hard to do nowadays, you know. So pretty much sums
it up. I mean, I'm pretty proud that we've been
(15:08):
able to like do what we do, what we've done,
and some days it feels like the world's rooting against you. Yeah,
are just like already assumed that, like you're going to
fail and you know you're just going to end up
like everybody else. You know, that's kind of been in
our shoes before. Still rocking rolling.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
So what are we talking about today? Buzz Speaking of buzz,
I told Blake, I showed her that id Buzz Bulkswagen,
but so cute. I want the green and white one
so bad. It's really mean, but it's called the Buzz.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I even looked into it. I even looked into it like,
would this be a feasible option to even like replace
the bus that we have. It's not. We'll never get
rid of the actual suckers paid off. We could I
want to drive that sucker to the wheels fall off.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
We could get rid of the drug and get the idea.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
But I did tell Danielle. I was like, I would, actually, no,
you would look weird in that. I actually trade my
truck in for that thing. And it's called buzz No,
it's like meant to be. Come on, Volkswagen, give us
a little sponsorship beer. Give me a six.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
The green and white one specifically, I don't. I saw
the orange. Which color do you like?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Either the all white or the white with the blue?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
No, yeah, you gotta have the color on it. I
love the green one. I saw the orange one on
the road the other day and I was like, that's
so cute. But Blake's like, I would never be seen
in that. I said, yeah, you would, and she's like, no,
I would walk to school.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
The thing that kind of made me scratch my head
with it because mini vans and this isn't it's like
a mid sized van, but many vans they're kind of
rated by how many cup holders they have, Like that's
a big deal for a mini van, like to have
a lot of cup holders because you're transporting a lot
(17:09):
of people all the time, Like everybody needs a place
to put their drink or whatever. And this van VW
made for some weird reason, they did not the middle
row of seats right behind the drivers passengers there's no
cup holders. Like so people like get in the car
(17:29):
with like whatever.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
They not even like them center console like or anything.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
No cup holders. There's cup holders in the third or
of that and the driver passenger have a cup holder,
but the middle road there's not a single cup holder. No,
that's weird. It is weird. Let's maybe scratch my head,
like why would they go through all the thought into
this vehicle and not put any cup holders in the
(17:53):
middle row. Yeah, it's interesting. I would have never thought
about that. I wish wear that. That almost turned me
off like that right there, like turn me on weird
And I would never even sit there. But like I'm
just thinking about my kids getting in it and they're
trying to find a place to put their cut, Like
if we had to stop for fast food or whatever
(18:14):
on the way home.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
The seat, how the armor, like the seat metal thing
comes down between the two. Nope, none, it's weird. I've
never known a card and not have cup holders in
the middle like in the backseat.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
But they got cell phones sliding pockets and behind the seats.
Well maybe you can slide a cup in there. Yeah,
you're super thin. So today's episode we're going to talk
about when life feels overwhelming. I think we kind of
like touched on that a little bit last episode. You
(18:47):
didn't say what episode it was. This is the last
episode was twenty eight. This is twenty nine, Yeah, because
we we hit on that a little bit, just talking
about peace. Yeah, and I feel like our life does
get overwhelming pretty easily, you know, like just there's just
the amount of stuff that we have to juggle. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
I mean, like, for instance, like right now, like we're
approaching this phase where bathrooms are important. We've got a
teenager who's fourteen, and then five ten year olds, and
we're jumping into this stage of no one really showers together.
They want to be by themselves, they want alone time
in the bathroom, which makes it share take way more
(19:30):
time than it used to. Yeah, and so like that's
a big deal. So thinking about Okay, well, what do
we do about this? How do we how do we
make this work? How do we start baths right after school?
Like no, you know, it's just it's complicated. So like
when one thing changes, yeah, a milestone, chang's a lumpsome
(19:52):
all at one time. So for a family being like
oh okay, yeah, like they don't want to share a bathroom,
that's okay. But when you've got five of them that
are like all the same age, they all same grade,
they all need to go to bed the same time,
like so they're on this same like routine and schedule,
it's just really challenging whenever we don't have enough bathrooms
(20:13):
to accommodate. And this might sound so what's the word
something stupid to complain about.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
First world problems?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Yeah, and I mean yeah, so hey complain about it,
but it is it's so frustrating in what we where
we are in this level of understanding that like everything
is getting more independent and more divided versus things still
being together. And so even like even in our bathroom,
we have like a shower and then a tub separate
(20:44):
and it's like, well she's in the shower.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Well go get in the tub. Like it's fine, we
all got the same parts.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
And I'm like they're going through that phase where they're
starting to like not necessarily want to be like seen.
And I'm like, girl, we all the say except your daddy,
and those limits have been cut offul years and years ago,
like no one goes in the bathroom and Daddy's in
there or and you know, and so it's like that
embarrassment they're starting to learn that or like I don't know,
(21:15):
and so there's just a lot of things that we're
stepping into which is overwhelming.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I mean, I have like a few little like bullet
points or whatever just to like hit on, but one
of them is how it feels to be stretched then
as a parent and a business owner. And it gets
it gets overwhelming some days because like you know, whether
it's like days where you need to be out of
the house most of the day because some stuff going
(21:42):
on up at the up at the store, or you
get so involved in like so many different things because
you have stuff going on at the store, you have
stuff going on with church and like women's groups and
activities and Bible studies and stuff and like juggling all that.
But then I mean, for the most part. Most days
I am able to do what I do from our
(22:06):
home office. You know, there's a lot of things I
can still do, but there's days where I have to
be Like i may go out on a photo shoot
and I'm gone for literally hours before the kids need
to leave for school. I got to be out of
the house and then you know until five or six o'clock.
I mean I'm walking in the house right at dinner time.
You know, those make for very stressful days. And then
(22:28):
especially if we have like kids with sports or extracurricular
activities after school and stuff, you know, things just get
overwhelming and you feel like you're so stretched thin. You know,
in a sense, like you feel a little bit of
like guilt. I do. I think you've kind of come
(22:49):
to the understanding that you need that time and you'll
prioritize the time. But like I, for some weird reason,
like I still have this like guilt about just like
having me time or you know, separating time for myself
or you know, I'll tell people know a lot. I
think it's just because like that that sense of like
overwhelmedness creeps in, like I feel like I'm not doing enough.
(23:14):
But like on a day where I have to be
out of the house all day and work, I feel
like I'm missing out and I feel like I didn't
contribute that day. And that's what I felt like a
lot whenever I went, you know, and I stepped away
from my career, because I mean that was like one
hundredfold like what that feeling is now. But you know,
I felt anytime I'm not in the house, I feel
(23:35):
like I'm not there to help with something or something
gets overwhelming or you are.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Do you think that's a you thing or do you
think that other dads and men can relate to that?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
That's a good question. And I was actually just thinking
about that, like is that me just like my temperament
or my character or it's just our situation as a family,
Like I know what it takes to like run this house,
Like whenever I'm not able to be there, you know,
(24:12):
on a given day, like I just feel it's not
even foma, like I feel guilty, Like I feel I
feel bad for not being home. And I don't know,
I don't any any other dads or any other wives
that are like hearing this. I'm like, oh yeah, like
my husband's voice that or any other dads that are
(24:33):
watching this, like do you have those same feelings? Yeah,
But a lot of that stuff too comes down to,
like I have a lot of forensic like no problem,
Like they'll leave and they'll be gone all day and
they'll play golf and do that all the time and stuff,
and like they'll ask me, I'm like, no, I would never, like,
like I do that maybe a few times a year tops. Nowadays.
(24:56):
I used to do it more often, but no, I'm
not just gonna go like yeah, but also thing it
hanging out a golf course for six, six to eight hours.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
It also depends on the age of kids too. Yeah,
you know, like we're in a busy we're still like
in a busy season with their.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Kids, have to be like really hands on, still.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Still having to do for them a lot. And so
that's that's one aspect. But I do think that do
you think that just being home is contentment and you're
here because a lot of times you are here, but
you're not here, you're just working.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Is that the same thing? But I'm like here if
like something happens or somebody needs me, so like I
can like stop what I'm doing and step out. But yeah,
I mean, even if I'm home, you know, I may
have to do some work or whatever where I'm at
my computer till six o'clock because I'm in the middle
of something or I have a deadline, but I'm still
(25:56):
home to where like if something happens or things get
too chaotic or two out of hand or whatever, I
can like set this down and go like tend to
it instead of just like completely not being here and
feel like I've let the family down in a sense.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Well, it's interesting. I mean, it's interesting to hear that
from you because I think that those thoughts are lies
that you're putting in your head and telling yourself. Because
I don't think that those I don't think that in
a sense that when you're gone out of the home
(26:36):
that you're not contributing in a way. I mean, and
this goes back to like old school of like the
men work and the mom stay at home and yadi
yady audio.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
It's like and it could be are I mean, I
hear you, And honestly, that could be like how I
was raised and like my dad, like my mom stayed home. Well,
my mom worked up to a certain point and then
she retired from teaching and then she stayed home and
then you know, my dad was sole provider, and I
don't know, maybe that's just like the that was like
(27:08):
ingrained in me.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
But I feel like we we are capable of the
level that we live in the work that we do.
We're flexible a lot, and that's something that we've been
very fortunate to have because of having six kids, in
the need for both of us to juggle all that
right and the desire in the hearts that says we
(27:30):
want to be the parents who are the ones doing
I don't think it's wrong for you to not be
in the home when it's something that's involved with work.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, And then I also go back to like when
like there is certain periods of time, like in what
I do in my job, where like coming up in May,
I'm gone more than i'm home, literally in another state,
gone more than I'm home of that entire month. And
(28:02):
so it's in a sense like I think I think
of all those times that because you know, I have
to be there, and so it's almost like my guilt
is almost like making up for like me being away.
I don't know, I'm kind of just fleshing out thoughts
(28:23):
in my head as I'm as I'm talking, but but
are you?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
But I'm trying to understand, like where where you feel
like you have guilt because babe, I'm badass, let me
just say it.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
And I don't know why you think that. I don't
know if other if other dads like feel this way honestly,
But that's that's the curious thing. I think dad's that.
But even like some of my other friends that I
do hang out with and do do stuff, their kids
are mostly different stages of life where they're a lot
more independent and like not really need to be his
(28:55):
hands on, so it's easier for them. In my opinion,
it's easier for them to like step away and god
do stuff because their kids are so self sufficient, no
big deal, Or I just have our Maybe it's like
PTSD and like flashbacks from whenever like I went through.
I don't know, Maybe I just haven't completely worked through
stuff and I still have that like guilt of.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Not being around when they were yeah babies, early one.
Maybe so we should look into that.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Maybe it's like a PSD PTSD thing.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Because I don't think it's true because like we talk
often about how important it is, like just like for
mental health too, just to have our quality time as marriage, couples,
quality time, as family, quality times, as Danielle quality times.
Is Adam like separate and how it might not replenish
(29:50):
you in a way to be like going to play
golf with the guys, But guess what that is something
you do need. You do need to still be Adam.
You still don't need to be Adam the friend. And
you're not just Adam Danielle's husband, dad to six girls.
You also are a brother, you're a brother in law,
(30:11):
you're a friend, and those are important too. You still
need community, and we speak a lot about how community
is so important, and if you're not making time too
to involve in those type of things, then you're slacking
on that community aspect that other people can feed into
you and as you can feed into others. And so
I do think that there's something else underline that's keeping
(30:34):
you from saying like you're the guilt of it. But
we know the guilt doesn't come from the Lord, and
so it's not true what you're feeling. You just have
to work through why do you feel that way about
this scenario? And we both are very different when it
comes to stuff like that. I mean, I have fomo
and missing out on anything when it's like with the kids.
But we've also had to juggle a lot of divide
(30:56):
and conquer and we rotate, and so that's been okay.
But there's a lot of times like if you know,
I had to work a Saturday and you know, there
was a soccer game or there's volleyball this or whatever,
and you can't go, and it's like that sucks.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
But I know that it's not all.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
The time, and so this one time, hopefully they don't
remember that I'm not there this one time, but they
remember every other time that I was there, and how
important that is. Try not to look on the which
this is from Vanmore's reality.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
You are very much.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
You shoot for the negative and analyze before you see positive,
and I look at the positive and encouragement and to go.
You would dwell on the fact that you're missing this
one thing, even if it was for something you wanted
to do.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
You want to go like all.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
These things, versus knowing that you've had countless number of
times with the kids on these events and whatever, and
you know, I mean, we can't be here every beck
and call, you know, I mean we do have to
financially support our family and have to divide and conquer
and do things that we know we have to do.
(32:11):
But I don't want you to feel that you can't
do that, because I know it's important, how much I
need it. I know you say it doesn't mean the
same thing to you to go out like hang out
with the guys or whatever. But it's still important. Yeah,
still important to all your dad's out there too. It's
still important in new wives and new moms.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah, it's still it's hard to remind yourself and tell yourself,
like how beneficial that is to have other men in
your life that you can confide in and bounce things
off of and just have fun with and just like
put your guard down and people that you can trust.
And you know, it's so beneficial for your own sanity
(32:54):
and stuff. I don't quite do it as much as
I should.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I know that no lot of a lot of your work,
A lot of your work involves a lot of fun
guy time.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Sure, true, that and that and that could be it too.
I mean I have we always make fun off we're working. Yeah,
I'm fortunate to where like my my job allows me
to do some very fun stuff. And so it's like
like whenever I'm not working and there are people you
want to hang around too, so and yeah, yeah, so
(33:26):
that could be it too. It's like I almost feel
guilty sometimes whenever I'm working but I'm having fun at work.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Absolutely not that's the best.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Because you don't, because I feel like, no, they don't.
They don't think I'm working.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
You know, if you're not having fun at work, then
we don't need to be working.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, what else we got? What do we do whenever
we feel like we're burnt out? Dude, I'm like, leave
me alone when I'm stressed out.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
When I'm burnt out, I like, just I need.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Nobody to talk to me.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
I want to escape to like quietness, like and then
when I'm burnt out, I'm like, if somebody else asked
me for one more thing, I'm going to blow up.
So I'm like, just don't talk to me, leave me alone.
That's what I do. Yeah, you do it in a
(34:25):
certain way, but I will verbalize. I just can't right now.
I need some time. I need I need a long time, Like,
nobody talk to me, leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I'm going in the room.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
I'm closing the door. And you'll just go in your office,
closed the door and not talk to us.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
But then I also like, I mean there's there's been
like certain things that are in our life that I
used to think we're such a big priority because I
put these expectations on us and our businesses and even
like our like YouTube channel. I know, I used to like, Okay,
we got to put up one video per week and
(35:02):
like stick to that schedule and stuff. And whenever I
was doing a lot of that solo, like I got
burnt out because I was doing that TV show also
business and I got you know, us through the season
of like working, you know, i'd go work.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
That's when you turn into the one man team.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Yeah, that's when of my turn into like I just
like get.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Really to do everything by yourself and and then it's
everybody else's problem.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
But I did realize, like you know, a while back,
that things that like expectations that I put on myself,
it's okay to not do that. And so right now,
like we haven't posted like a YouTube video and probably
a month and a half, two months, it's probably been
a month and a half, And I'm okay with that
(35:50):
because I know whenever I get into that mode, because
there's gonna be seasons where you know, we need to
like buckle down and do some stuff, you know, and
bang out some content. But I have so much going
on that I don't make that the priority. You know,
I'll let those things slide to like save my sanity,
(36:12):
save me, and I'll go to the gym. Make sure
I'm going to the gym and making sure that I'm
hitting those things, and that's what kind of replenishes me
and fills me back up. So you you like that today,
like I went to I went up to the office,
and I came home. There was nobody here, and I
knew that, like there's some stuff that I need to do.
(36:34):
But I mean I literally took thirty minutes and I
sat in my office in this chair with the lights out,
nothing on, like my cell phone was over there, and
I prayed for thirty minutes. And just like I listened
to this podcast this morning, and just like talking about
(36:55):
just in a sense, like I feel like I'm in
a season of like just filling hacked, and like there's
just I feel like there's a lot of stuff like
attacking us right now and kind of coming at us
from a lot of different angles and and I literally
just sat here and just like tried to listen to
God and what do you say, Uh, did you hear him?
(37:19):
One thing scared me And I don't know what it meant,
but you're you gonna say it on this microphone. No,
he didn't say it. Like it wasn't like God speaking
to me. It was just the podcast. Like I had
this picture come into my head like scared me to
the point where like I started screaming. And uh, because
I'm just sitting there like just like trying to just
(37:43):
be here in the presence of God us as believers
in Christ, like he is within us, he is part
of us. Just trying to just like focus and meditate
and like on that. And then all of a sudden,
I just saw this like rush of just this face
like right in my face, like just with like clenched teeth,
(38:04):
just staring like straight into my eyes. And I just
like jumped back and like it gave it gives me
chills right now, and I just started screaming. I don't
know what that meant or if it was like whose
face was it? No, it just what I would have
visioned a demon. Dude, that's scary. Yeah, and like it
(38:28):
freaked me out. Do you feel like you've had that.
I was praying over our house. I was praying over
like our home and our family and our businesses, and
then all of a sudden, it's just like, yeah, I'm attacked.
Like it's almost like just like showing up, like yeah,
I'm coming after you. That's what it felt like. And
(38:48):
that's whenever like I really started just like yelling and
just like you know in Jesus name, like rebuking, and
but it was it was intense. It was weird. Hm, yeah,
you can get weird sometimes. I've never had a dark image.
The spiritual spiritual warfare is definitely real, guys, and what
(39:09):
you call it like dark spirit spirits, the spirit realm
is every bit is real as this is right here
and like evident today. And then I prayed and I
prayed and I prayed and I stayed here. I like
I felt better, I got I had a peace. Whenever
(39:31):
like a like stopped. God was here and he was
protecting me. I'm freaking you out. I probably shouldn't have
talked about that right now, because like it's still kind
of don't it's fresh. I should have probably spoke with
you about it before bringing it up on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Well, I'll tell you a story after the podcast is over.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
No, everybody's gonna be wondering after Adam just dropped this
crazy demon bomb on us. No.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
Yeah, I've never had like a dark, dark rim imaging
of like I feel like an attack in a lot
of ways multiple times in my life, but I've never
had a something like that. Like I pray, I never do,
but I've never seen visually like something dark.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
It's crazy. Yeah, it's not. It's kind off topic, but
I don't know when to ry yet. But but I
mean the last thing that I had on there is
just like encouragement for people that are going through this
hard time. I think it's something that is very fluid
with us and like how we handle it in certain
times and just like how we feel. And I mean
(40:48):
my biggest thing right now, especially like I feel like
we're in a we're in the middle of like a
hard time and very evident that whether it's me or
our house or whatever, or you know, I just feel
like we're under an attack. I feel like I was
face to face with that today and to spend time
in prayer, spend time in the words. That's what gives
(41:13):
me the relief. Like I'll go through seasons where I
have so much anxiety and just worry about just because
we have so much going on and so many things
to like keep track of and keep in my head
and stay on top of. Where like I'm just like
waking up in the middle of the night and I
can't sleep, and uh really yeah, I mean a lot
(41:37):
of times you probably think I'm sleeping, but I'm not.
I'm just sitting there thinking story. But you know, I
take time out of the day and I just get
quiet and get alone, read my Bible and pray, and
usually that anxiety that I had earlier subsides and I'm
(41:59):
able to kind of go on with the day. That's
like the biggest thing that's helped helped me like through
through seasons of just like anxiety and just feeling overwhelmed.
And for me, that's the only thing that like gets
me through that. Like I'll talk with like a few
like close friends or whatever, and like they'll pray for
(42:20):
me and stuff like that. But like I'll be more
so intentional about just like spending time just like meditating
on the word and just like speaking to God and
just like asking him to you know, just seeking wisdom
and peace and and just guidance through just asking God
(42:40):
just to show me we've we've you know, just a
few weeks ago, like Brian was speaking up on stage
and just like he's not gonna. God is not going
to reveal everything to you. You know, he may just
he may just light your path to take one more
step and uh, and just asking God just like show
me what my name step should be so that I
(43:01):
can take it and I'll pass that test, but like
show me where my next step is. So one step
at a time. Yeah, you got anything? Hang out a lot? Yeah,
I mean I am.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
It's just it's so interesting how different we both are
in one the way that we process, the way that
we communicate, the way that we experience. What's hard for
me is not for you. What's hard for you is
not for me. Like I'm not an anxious worrier, but
I know you are. But you're not very verbal about
(43:43):
a lot, not at all. So you try to still
have like your mane up, act like things are not
act like things are fine. But if you tell me
you're not sleeping in all these things, like you're very
good at hiding it, you know, and so it takes
a while for it to be like exposed in the
(44:04):
world of like for me to see because you know,
your your work is here and home, it's in your office,
it's there's not a lot of different things like you know,
so I would I think that what you need to
do is get yourself more breaks and divide your days
up and then you're out in the yard or like
(44:27):
working on your truck or working in the garage, like
you know when you're on carnivore diet.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
When I was, you.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Still like the weight that you the weight that you're
putting on yourself is not meant to be alone. And
I think that that's advice for everybody is community is
important to walk life with. And if you're struggling in
any aspect, there's someone who I know, whether it could
be your neighb or your sister or your friend, your brother,
(44:58):
someone at church, there's somebody that you a counselor therapist,
online counseling whatever, like, get to talk into somebody because
you can't hold that stuff in or it's only going
to I'm trying to get the word before I make
up my own word. Spiral down with anxiety and the
worry and stuff. And so there might be things that
(45:20):
I like think about or worry about, but I don't
hold on to. I don't feel like I get anxious
in those type don't. I don't really feel like I
ever do. And there's been times, but I do think
that the rim of what we've kind of been, like
God's kind of been revealing to us over the last
maybe like six months or so, and just changes and
(45:43):
overwhelmingness of different paths to start taking. It is a lot.
It's very heavy, a lot of big things that you know,
I kind of even randomly brought up, I think last
week or the week before, Katie's calling me, like what
the heck is going on? I'm like, oh way, what
did I say? But I do I do like this
(46:07):
podcast form just to be able to you know, and
I'll honestly it like it helps I don't have a
problem talking. It helps you talk, it helps you feel.
And if this is and if this is what it is, like,
it's fine. Like number one thing for people who are
struggling is that don't walk it alone, you know, and
(46:29):
even as a married couple. Right here, and he's telling
me some things that I've I know these things, but
I'm not knowing the weight that it's feeling on him
because he doesn't want to show me that in some
aspect as much as you do. At times, you're very
cautious about how you're feeling, probably because I am a
(46:53):
lot more expressive. Maybe you think that you need to
protect that more or not in I don't really know,
but I do think that I probably should have more
time where I'm like more or less asking you the
questions instead of expressing how I feel or what's overwhelming
(47:15):
me or whatnot. But you know, I'm a verbal processor,
so I have to say those things. But I think
that's my biggest takeaway for people struggling is that God's
Word is living words. And when I find myself wrapped
up in scripture and doing Bible studies and having conversations
(47:38):
with other people, like trials just are not as weighted
and they are not as hard because I am reminded
by encouragement from community or people that there's always hope,
and I'm reminded in God's word that He's always there
with me and he already knows what's next that we
(48:00):
need to remain in trusting in Him for the journey
that we're going on. It's never going to be easy,
it's never going to be perfect, it's never really going
to be exactly what we want. And I think that
we're a story of testament to that, like walking in
faith and walking in trust that God will not deny
you and you will not be His sons and daughters.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
If you know our.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
Story and you've heard these podcast episodes where we've talked about,
you know, the trials that we've walked through with infertility
and quintuplet pregnancy and the NICKU and like holding onto
that faith in all those moments of there's nothing I
can do, and whether you're in financial stress, job stress,
(48:43):
relationship stress, whatever that might be, like God is there
to bring you comfort into assure you that like there's
beauty on the other side of whatever He's going to
send you through. Community is good to keep you encouraged
in wreck you back to always say what is it
that we do know? What is it that we do know?
(49:06):
And you have to we have to remind ourselves that
we do know that God is good, and God is just,
and God is hope and God is loving and those
are the things we do know. What we don't know
is what's going on with work, what's going on with relationships,
what's going on with finances, what's going on whatever the
struggle is, Like, we don't know the outcome, we don't
(49:26):
know how to handle, but we have to remain and
know that, like who what we do know? And we
do know that God is good. And so that's something
that I always am reminded and I always me and
my friends we always repeat that back to each other
whenever we're like looking for support or encouragement and you know,
kind of confessing some struggles or whatnot. So, yeah, hope
(49:50):
this podcast was I mean, it was a lot of
it was insightful and open in kind of like, Okay,
it's a different level for me kind of hearing you know,
my husband kind of like share.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
But I love it.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
I love being able to hear you be a little
bit more expressive about things because we talk about these
things that men don't always have to be tough. Even
as much as you say that to preach that in
me too, it's still hard. It's still hard. It's not easy.
So thank you for being a little bit vulnerable there.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, and I feel like you know if there's any
any of you out there that kind of feel those
same things and like those thoughts that I was kind
of trying to flesh out that I didn't really fully
have together. Like if you if you agree with that,
I mean, like let us know, and like you're not
alone you know in those in those thoughts and those
(50:42):
feelings and stuff, and you know there's some feelings that
are just very isolating.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Yeah, And I feel like a lot of men and
dads and husbands can relate to what you're saying, because
it's a very like it's still part of that comes
down to like the stigma of men in having to
feel like hal to weigh that. But what we do
good together is work at a team. Yeah, And we've
always said that. We've always we know when we're a team,
(51:08):
we were good together. And so just be mindful of
that with your spouse too. Is that y'all are team.
It's never you against him, like being united in in
all things and even in the even in the hard yep.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
So thank you guys for hearing us out and hearing
these these things that we probably maybe never verbalized but
just kind of working through. But I feel like that's
I don't know. It helps me because just because I'm
a I'm such an internal processor, but just like I
(51:45):
don't know, being here in front of this mic, in
front of a camera or whatever, it just like forces
me to like just okay, I'm just gonna go and
say it when I don't normally do that. So thank
you guys for sticking around for episode twenty nine. Every
time I asked you a question, I'm just going to
put a mic in your face more than reality podcast.
(52:05):
Thanks for listening and we'll see you in the next one.
Love you, guys.
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