May 1, 2025 • 58 mins
In this raw and emotional episode, Adam and Danielle Busby open up about the unseen struggles that nearly tore their marriage apart during the height of their fame. From the unexpected weight of raising quintuplets in the public eye to battling male postpartum depression, identity loss, and the constant pressure to “keep it all together,” the Busbys share how faith, community, and surrender kept their family from falling apart.
🔥 SPONSORS:
Good RanchersLock in your price and support American farms with 100% U.S.-raised meat delivered to your door.🎁 Use code BUSBY at goodranchers.com to get $40 off + FREE meat for life on select items!👉 Or grab the Busby Box at goodranchers.com/busby
Cozy EarthTreat the moms (or yourself) to the softest, coolest bedding and PJs we’ve ever owned.🎁 Use code MORETHAN at cozyearth.com for 40% off your order — perfect for Mother’s Day or anytime comfort!
If you’ve ever wondered what life was really like behind OutDaughtered — this is the episode.
💬 Topics we cover:
🙏 Plus: encouragement for couples walking through hard seasons.💡 Real talk. Real faith. Real marriage. This is More Than Reality.
🔥 SPONSORS:
Good RanchersLock in your price and support American farms with 100% U.S.-raised meat delivered to your door.🎁 Use code BUSBY at goodranchers.com to get $40 off + FREE meat for life on select items!👉 Or grab the Busby Box at goodranchers.com/busby
Cozy EarthTreat the moms (or yourself) to the softest, coolest bedding and PJs we’ve ever owned.🎁 Use code MORETHAN at cozyearth.com for 40% off your order — perfect for Mother’s Day or anytime comfort!
If you’ve ever wondered what life was really like behind OutDaughtered — this is the episode.
💬 Topics we cover:
- The toll reality TV took on our marriage
- Male postpartum depression and identity struggles
- Losing ourselves — and finding God again
- Why we almost quit everything
- How we’re fighting for each other every day
🙏 Plus: encouragement for couples walking through hard seasons.💡 Real talk. Real faith. Real marriage. This is More Than Reality.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and daniel Busby.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
What's Up? Welcome to episode thirty one and More Than
Reality Podcast with Adam and Danielle Busby. And today was
I mean, not just today, this past week. Give a
little update for the week. So Danielle had remember the week.
I know it's probably a blur for you. It's probably
(00:46):
a blur for both of us. So like what you
left on Wednesday?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Oh? Yeah, I went to women's retreat.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, so there was like a women's like a spot.
It was kind of like spawn Sard by our church.
There's a big women's retreat. But first, we want to
thank one of the sponsors for our show today, which
is Good Ranchers. And we're going to talk a little
bit later in the episode about a new exciting offer
(01:17):
which means a discount, an even bigger discount maybe maybe something,
And it actually involves a lifetime discount, which is crazy.
I was actually shocked whenever I read it. I was like, wait,
is that right? Yeah, lifetime discount, So thank you Good
Ranchers for sponsoring this episode. Stay tuned later in the
episode for the details the big offer. But good Ranchers
(01:43):
is one American born, raised, harvested meat.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Delivered to your door.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
All in the US, which means terror free. Yeah, and
that's a big deal right now. To be terror free.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
We have a complete if you're not terrified of your meat,
you can be tariff free.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
That's a good one. So thank you Good Ranchers. You
can go to good ranchers dot com and then also
good ranchers dot com slash busby for the Busby box.
But now we're gonna get back to the episode. Good
Ranchers American meat delivered.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
So I joined up on the Women's Admin team and
so kind of like helping with women's ministry things. That's
where like my heart passion are women's ministry, and so
I jumped on board with helping out with some of
the getaway retreat planning.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
So it's really good. It's really fun. Time.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I went up a day before to kind of be
with the team and get some stuff set up and
just kind of have like some time together to like
pray together and just chat and kind of like look
at the property and like look at everything and stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
So it's really fun.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
It was an interesting property too, compared to like pass retreats.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah not yeah, I mean it was it was it
was at so it was at Margaritaville, which seems weird,
but honestly.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
This woman Interrotrey has grown so much every year that
the place that they had last year could not even
support it anywhere.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
And it's a place that they've been for years, and
so we had to outsource to a different location. And
so this place was great. And I know it sounds
weird when you say like Margaritaville, but honestly it was
so good because I think the season of time it
was not like summer or like a holiday. It was
just like a mid week into the week kind of
(03:41):
like event. And so there was barely anybody there like
else there was.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Don't go in there like in the middle of a week.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
But it was nice. I mean they had like a
lazy river.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
They had like pools and just like for moms to
like be out there and like we were on a lake.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It was water.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
What do you mean then a pool?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Of course there's a pool.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
It was a water warm Oh I thought you said
they had a water one, and I'm like, of course
there's water there. So it's up on the lake, so
Lake con Lake Congra, which I had never been up
there before, like this far out, and so it's really pretty.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
So there was like a lazy river. There was like
a whole kid area. There was like another pool area
hot up. They had like pick a ball courts because
you know how to play pick a ball. They had
like put putt. I mean, the rooms were great. The
rooms were big, Like every room was like had like
a mini living room with the bed with a bedroom
(04:37):
and so so they were all kind of like sweets. Yeah,
in a sense. So it was I mean, I thought
it worked out great. A little logistic things were different,
and you know, stepping into somewhere the first time. But
I think we had, if not half the crowd, at
least a third of the attendees were first timers, which
(04:58):
is huge.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Why we had to go somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It just shows how much the church is growing.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, but it was really good.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I mean, you know, I think a lot of us
felt big for what was going to happen over those
couple of days at the retreat and just like seeing
God move and heal and tear walls down for people.
And so it was and I love being involved and
just being there for.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And you got to you got to get up on
stage and.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I didn't get up on stage or just got up
in a mic.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh you got up on a mic to share it
was there a stage.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Well not in there, It was like there. It was
a breakout session. I did one of the breakout sessions.
So we did a breakout session on a small version
of like hope on like wondering going through a season
of like experiencing where are you God, to then being
fulfilled with things of maybe whatever season Like to explain
(06:00):
my story of hope is going through a season where
I didn't know where God was and questioned and struggled,
and then overcame what my hope was for and like
what was I looking for? You? What was the struggle
in so like infertility, growing a family, having quits, like
all that season of having a family. And so I
(06:21):
shared my testimony of like walking through trials to have
a family and then to be blessed with more than
I could ever imagined.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
It just fit into the breakout.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
It was just a breakout there was like six breakouts
one day, and so I was in one of the breakouts.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
But yeah, it went really good.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
It was really funny to have something to share within
ten minutes. Speech that's about your testimony is very very hard.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
When Daniel gets starts talking about her story, it usually
takes more than ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Too many details, huh.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
But so it was funny because I like just gave
I mean, I typed it up, I read through it,
and I'd read through it multiple times, and I'm like, okay,
it's five minutes, so ten minutes I should be good.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
When you told when you told me you had to
give your your whole story in ten minutes, I was like,
oh boy, I.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Mean it's not interesting.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
I mean it is interesting because it's God's story, but
it is interesting. I feel like there's so much more
emotion and stuff with more details, and like the heart
of it is it needs details.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Like it took.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
It took more than an hour long podcast, but.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
I just kind of did like a little snippet of
like who I was, and then like got married, wanted
a family, and then when I got to the part
of talking about the quints, I had already been getting
like tapped like times up like two minute warning, and
then I got to the end and she's like.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Really got to wrap it up, and I'm like, okay,
one more second.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
And then I was like, I mean, did that time
include people asking you questions?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
No? So it was very funny.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Is I kind of wrapped it up with just like
a scripture of like just encourage people and hope okay
with Isaiah.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
And so I'm walking, I'm like, get my computer. I
walk off from the la in the crowd.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Goes, wait, wait, wait, wait, but did you have the babies?
Speaker 3 (08:23):
And I was like, oh, I guess I did. See
the story was cut off the suit. I was like,
I did have them.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
They're ten years old and they're perfectly healthy.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, you did have to cut a lot off, I did,
so did you have the baby?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
But it was fun getting to hang around and be
with our community group and a couple other people added
into the group for the for the week. So yeah,
I mean doing things like that builds your community tighter
and it's more intimate and you get to know one another.
And this was the first year that I went to
my third year at this women's retreat with the church,
(09:02):
and this was the first year I went.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
With because we've only been going to this church for
about three years.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Yeah, this is the only time I've gone with like
knowing the people that I'm doing group with. Like the
first year I went with someone I knew, but we
didn't really know each other. Last year I went with
I mean my sister, and then like there were people
I know there, but it's just very different.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
So the people I went with this time.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
We've been in community group and so like doing real,
real realness together and stuff for at least what since August,
so like seven months or something. So it was fun
to like step into like growing our bond deeper than that.
So and then I led one of the activities, which
was pickleball, which was supposed to be blowing the dark pickleball,
(09:46):
but it wasn't glowing in the dark because.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
The court lights were on and it was really bright.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
And then I couldn't play because I was sweating and
there was a lot of glare with the lights. But
I was like, it's okay, I'm trying to run this
pickleball thing, so to get you replate that, man, uh.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
But it was fun.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Then right back left early Saturday to go straight to
Darby's baby shower and then to party, and then we
were supposed to go see a hired Watson that.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
We had to wake up. We wanted to go, uh
buddy of ours, Aaron Watson. He's a Texas country singer,
and I texted him earlier in the week and said, Hey,
we're going to try to come. And because normally he
plays at like honkey Dongs and like bars and stuff,
plays like the whole Texas country.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
This was like some festival.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, it was like a beach festival. And I was say, oh,
that's it would actually be super cool because like this
is like an event that I can take the whole
family and so like you can meet the kids and
like see the kids and stuff like that. But I
just started thinking about it and and Ava and Parker
had a volleyball tournament the next day, and we had
(10:58):
church and everything. And typically how concerts go, they say
the concert starts at eight, eight pm, and he's got
an opener, and so usually it was concerts never start
when they say they're gonna start. It's usually like an
hour after. It's like, what did you do that? So
concerts starts at eight and then it doesn't start till
(11:19):
nine and then usually the opener goes for forty five
minutes to an hour, and then there's probably a forty
five minutes to an hour break while they like swap
out all the gear on stage, and then he's gonna go.
So I'm like, man, he's probably not gonna start to
like ten pm, and that's gonna be a lot to
like keep the kids up after they've been playing, like
(11:39):
they went to a skate party, you know they're gonna
be exhausted roller skate roller skating. And then knowing we
got to be up early the next morning, I was like, man,
it's just I feel like that's gonna be too much,
And so we didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
But it was a busy weekend, and I know that
I was sad not to go to the little what
do they call it was a beach party beach.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
It was Sylvan Beach Festivals.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
But it was packed. It would have been fun.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I saw all the pictures and videos and there's a
ton of people there.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Yeah, tons of people. But yeah, it's a busy weekend.
Now back into.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
It was funny because like the day I think we
told the story about Hazel's glasses breaking, and so literally
the day Danielle leaves, kids get home from school and
one day.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
We're going to get those glasses fixed. But we fixed them,
and they they work for a couple of days.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Isn't it week?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, and then we like epoxy epoxy and them back
together over Easter break in Louisiana. And it was just
like a just an epoxy that Dad had in his garage,
which I don't think it was like the best epoxy
to use for that case, because even whenever I was
like taking it apart, it was still kind of almost
like a really hard hot glue. I feel like it
(12:56):
just wasn't going to hold up for a while. And
then sure enough, like Hazel came and grab me. It
was like at six thirty, She's like, Dad, I forgot
to tell you I broke my glasses today at PEM
Like oh goodness, and she like but she was still
wearing them. She takes them off and they're like duct
taped like around the around the end. I was like, hey,
(13:20):
so why didn't you tell me? I left earlier to
go to go run to the store to pick up
food to like cook or whatever, so I could have
ran to the store and grabbed that, and so like
I just stop what I was doing, leave again and
go get like a really strong apoxy and bring them
home and like mix it up and try to try
to fix them. But I knew they weren't gonna be
(13:41):
ready for the next day because they have them they
take like twenty four hours to like harden well.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
But those glasses like have like warranty on them, and
like I don't have to pay to get them fixed.
But I can't give them the glasses without her having
a pair of glasses.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
So I finally ordered a pair of glasses, and I
was like.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Oh, these are pretty cheap AMST good order too with
these prescriptions, so I can actually send hers off because
she needs another pair to wear around and then like
some sung like the sunglass ones. But anyway, so I'm not.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
A fan of it. Like the glasses she has right now,
did you get them?
Speaker 3 (14:20):
With this? She loves the translim it's not a fan
of it.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I mean because it's crazy and it's convenient. She's got
the transition lenses, but it sucks whenever we're like taking
family photos.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
And yeah, so that's why I got another pair that it.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Just looks like Hazel's wearing sunglasses. It's like all of
us are like looking at the camera's mile and Hazel's
just over there in her sunglasses, Like, hey, take that
kid sunglasses off, But but she can't help it because
it just automatically transitions in the light.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Yeah, I got her a pair that's literally just like
just clear lenses that way good and won't do that
the other ones will switch.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
That's what that's I mean, she loves me photographer brain. Like,
that's why I don't like transition lenses because like they
can't do anything about it. The glasses just turned dark
and it just doesn't look good in a photo.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
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Speaker 4 (15:11):
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Weirdest feeling, like when we first get into it, Like
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Speaker 4 (18:19):
Moms deserved the best, don't forget all right, So what
are we talking about today?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
So today we're gonna be talking about it's kind of
we're gonna kind of be taking like a little trip
down memory lane and just talk about like how God
has shaped us through probably the toughest seasons of our lives,
and like what we learned through it, what we learned
about ourselves through that season of just coming through things
that we've never been exposed to and never knew before
(18:47):
that season, and you know how how it affected us
then how how it had affected us personally, our marriage,
our family, and then you know how we kind of
how we overcame those situations and you know, and allow
God to like shape us through that to like where
we are right now.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
I mean, if we jump back like before like Public
Life and Quint's, I would say that the season of
just like.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Feeling normal, just like this normous, normal people.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Normal people that didn't drive a bus and you know,
I had six kids whatever, anyway, the normal average family
first little through bedroom home, you know, have a daughter,
have the two dogs, a house, and the reality like
both careers, our faith was like strongest that had ever
been going to the trial of like trying to have.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Blake is where it kind of all like really got
to its height.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, I feel like that that was like one of
those pivotal moments in our life that like drew us
near to our faith through through the through the trying
times of infertility when we're trying to have Like that's
what that taught us a lot about just faith and
you know, God's timing on things, and you know, life
(20:08):
doesn't really necessarily always go how you just envision it
in your head of like, oh, we're gonna do this
and we're going to get married and we're going to
have kids, and and then all of a sudden, like
once disappointment hits, it really like kind of it tests
you and shows you like who you really are.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
You know.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
And I think that through that season it like built
us stronger, you know, as we look back and then
you know, we're blessed with having Blake and then the
journey and desire to you know, ask for another child
from God and be like, hey, we want more, like
can we do that?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Can we ask for that? And then speed that up.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
I think between the time we had Blake until you know,
find out we were pregnant with the Quince was we
were still very strong in our faith as far as
you know, what we were doing as far as you know,
church involvement and ministry and just our surroundings of people
in our life. We were good and just even healthy
(21:10):
physical wise. That was the best shape after I had Blake.
That I will always say that was the best ship
I've ever been in. And I think, and I know,
as I look back, I say that was intentional, Like
God intentionally placed us in that season, and we had
desires and stuff for that so that my body, I feel,
(21:33):
could go for what was being prepared for, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Yeah, And I think it kind of goes along with
like the topic of last week's podcast is just like
you know, just taking that next step and getting to
like that next level and the spiral kind of quoting
a book from Leave Out Lusco about Blessed are the
Spiraling and so like, you know, us having Blake kind
(21:59):
of like got us to that next level of like
our faith and stuff. But I think there through that time,
like there was still so much that God wanted to
show us. Yeah, you know, and so you know, you
get through that season, you're like, oh, yeah, like we're good,
and God just like showing like, no, I want to
(22:20):
show you just how much you need me, and you're
gonna much more you need me, yeah, yeah, and how
much you should be depending on me and.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Stuff, and like, because I think whenever you're at the
height of where you feel you are spiritually sound and strong,
there's still more. There's still more that God can do.
There's still more that He can do to amaze you
in your life. And it's never ending. And so you know,
saying like we were, we were, we were healthy physical
(22:51):
and sound spiritual mind, and then going up and then saying, Okay,
we want another you know, we want to pray about
expanding our family and having another child and a sibling.
For Blake to find out you're pregnant with quintuplets, you're like, whoa, whoa,
this is definitely and love our faith too, because it's
(23:14):
another level and this is something we know we can't
do on our own and we can't do without God.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
And then you know, obviously you know the story of
us going through just all the trials and everything surrounding
just Danielle getting through the pregnancy, and you know, all
the things that the doctors were saying to us about
you know, reduction and all those things, well, you know,
(23:43):
finally culminated to here we are, you know, now we're
home with this family of eight now and you know,
reality TV starts, you know, and there is so much
you know, we're so much change. We were so naive really,
you know, because it was I mean, how I mean,
(24:03):
there's nothing that you can really do to prepare you
for reality TV life.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Yes that is true, but also prepare you for relie
to be life.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Prepare you for quintuplets, prepare you for everything in your
life change, like everything was all at one time. And
so if you look at the statistics of the world,
would say we should have failed multiple times in what
keeping up as a family of structure and health and
(24:37):
appointments and all that, and just like the health and
well being of the family, and we should have not
been here today in our marriage. We should have left
the world of entertainment destroy everything, because that's what happens, right,
That's what happens.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
And so that question that we get asked all the
time is that.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Or statement stills this day get made and people have
their own judgment and whatnot. But you know, this is
going to rip you all apart, This is going to
tear you apart. But like we we know, we know
that is what the world says, but the one thing
that we feel like we had very differently and maybe
not different than everybody in reality TV, but we felt
(25:21):
very strong about But we have Jesus in our hearts
and like we know where our identity is like found,
and like that's what keeps us solid. Doesn't mean it
was easy, doesn't mean that we didn't have fights and
arguments and trials, and that's something that we're going to
talk about today, but like knowing that no matter what,
like that was the core of it all. It kept
(25:44):
everything together, even in the not want to be held together.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Even you know, just like this pressure cooker of and
there was good and bad that came from that. I
mean like good as far as it brought so many
like opportunity unities for our family whenever we were just
like how are we going to do this and stuff,
and you know, it allowed to give a little bit
(26:09):
of like breathing room for us to like figure life out.
But then also you know, on the other side of it,
you know, it's just NonStop people around in your face,
always feeling like you're on and that that's like twofold
(26:31):
and you know it's good and bad. I mean you
always feel like you're on which is kind of exhausting,
but then also like, what's.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Funny if I think about what what what little? What
little has you know?
Speaker 4 (26:45):
For ten seasons, the little bit of our life or
a lot of I mean a lot of our life
was captured, but a little bit is shown, right, And
so that's where that dynamic of like you're under a microscope,
but it's really only subjective to like what is wanting
to be put under the microscope?
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Yeah, but that's also I mean, what's.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Gonna draw attention, what's gonna draw in viewers, what's gonna
draw in?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
It's this caricature of your life that's under a microscope. Yeah,
but people don't really people don't really see the full picture.
They don't really see everything. And but then that's what
you're being judged and critiqued, and you know, your life
is based off of as like this little bitty snippet, snippet,
(27:36):
snippet of what people are allowed to see on TV. Yeah,
and also you know that's the whole reason why you know,
here we are ten years later, and we decided to
do this podcast because I feel like there's so many
gaps and holes in our story and our journey that
like you guys never got to see and you never
(27:57):
really got to understand the full picture or the real
are the full picture of like who we are in
our life because over the course of you know, say
to film one episode of TV, it takes about ten
days roughly. Can you get to see ten twelve twelve
(28:17):
hour days of filming condensed into about forty minutes on TV?
And so, you know, then they're just like picking things,
and you know, so they show you what they want
you to see based off of, you know, entertainment value
and stuff like that. What's going to be the most entertaining,
what's going to be the most like dramatic with you know,
(28:38):
all this stuff, and you know, and that was good
or good and bad, but it wasn't the full picture, yeah,
you know, and so but then you know, you're under
this microscope and just life based off of this one
little aspect of your life, and nobody understands tis aspect
(28:58):
that got shown.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
You're like, what was That're like, oh, really, that's what
That's what we're going to dictate or pick on, you know.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
And and and that comes into play whenever you're just
you know, here we are we're naive. We don't understand it.
You know, we've shared and we tried to share and
portray like the good and the bad on our TV show.
It wasn't always you know, I feel like it was.
It was shown good and bad, yes, uh, but you know,
(29:35):
we didn't understand the scope and the gravity of just
life in the public eye also, and and it was
all the while all these changes are being are happening
in our personal life, in our home and and so you're,
you know, all these changes were happening, all these changes
(29:55):
were being made while you're you know, under this microscope.
All right, So we're gonna take a little break for
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I think the I read a stat and it's like
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Speaker 2 (34:25):
All right, So I had a good shut the door
because the kids just got home from school. But you know,
so we're under this microscope. But also like all these
other things are changing in our life. I'm working full time,
Danielle's not working anymore. There's a TV crew pretty much
full time in our house. And you know, here the
(34:48):
TV show has kind of taken this life of its own,
and you know, we're seeing it as oh, you know,
this isn't just oh, we have a TV show and
like stuff's happening, you know, and capturing our life, but
also like this is now, like this is now a business.
And you know, whenever you start thinking about social media
(35:08):
and YouTube stuff and like all these other facets of
just like life and business, while I'm working full time,
starting to go through like this season of male postpartum
depression and just like having all these like feelings of
just being burnt out and tired and like lethargic. And
(35:29):
you know, through that time, whenever I was going through
this season of depression, you know, you you later learn,
you know, things in your life that are escapes, things
that like you will run to for like a cheap
high or whatever. And so like one of those things
became like just like social media and attention just because
(35:55):
it was like this cheap high and I didn't know
what to do with it, Like I didn't like I've
all of a sudden like everything's just been thrown at you,
you know, and so you just you kind of run
to the thing that like, oh, like all these people
are like love us and all these things and so
like and you just kind of like grab onto that
and and it affects you in this weird way, and
(36:21):
you know, and it sent me down like this road
that didn't know quite how to handle, you know when
you say, I'm like kind of.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Yeah, I hated this, Adam, Yeah, I hated that. Adam
well hates a little strong word. We it brought and
this is where this is where like that reality of
reality comes in and you see the power of what
quote unquote fame can do to something or someone in
(36:55):
her family or like whatever. Because there were days and
I remember just being like, dude, like that that is
that has become like your priority, yeah in a sense,
and like that is what you're filling your time with.
And we all know whatever you put your time in
is where your heart is, yeah, you know. And it
was a it was like a false, false identity.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
He was like an idol. Idol, Yeah, when you look
at you, like the Bible and like anything that comes
before like you and your faith and God and and
stuff like that, and it's like an idol in your
life and it's just something that you know, I feel
like the devil was like using against our family because
you know, I was weak in this in this season
(37:39):
of my life. I was weak. Oh, and he will
stomp on that because you know, here I am going
through like all these like weird emotions that I've never
felt before, just feeling down and depressed. But then you know,
you look to social media and all of a sudden,
it's like, oh, like you know, I love you guys,
and you know all these like people singing your praise
(38:01):
is good. I mean good and bad too, because like
even like the negative stuff would put you in like
a really negative headspace, but because you didn't know how
to deal with that yet. Obviously it still it still
bothers me every now and then. But you know, you
you learn to, especially being in the public eye and
like being a public figure like on social media and stuff,
(38:22):
you just learned to like let stuff roll off of you.
And because there's always negative people out there. Being that
early on in our careers on reality TVs. You know,
you just don't understand that, you don't you don't know
what that's like until you're faced with it. And you know,
(38:44):
so here I am going through this season of depression
and then just trying to find anything out there that's
going to like make me feel a little bit better.
And so then you just start pouring your time into
whatever it may be. But was working, you know, full
time on television, full time in my career, and you know,
(39:08):
at home with our family, and you know, so all
these changes were happening in my life and I wasn't
I wasn't juggling any of it well, and you know,
and it became it came in between our relationship, It
came between our family, and you know, and I think
(39:32):
like later on, like seasons down the road in our
TV show, well, I think a lot of I.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
Think I think in that season two, there's this narrative
that we tell ourselves. I think where the enemy like
really wants to take over and start to tell you, like,
this is what you need to do, this is where
you're going to find joy, this is where you're going
to find happiness and and it distracts you from from
the true, the true desires of your heart.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Right, Yeah, because I was in that season, like I was,
I was struggling to find my identity. Like I felt
like after having the Quints, I completely lost my identity.
Like everything in the world started revolving around and we're
just trying to keep these babies alive and and keep
food on our table and all this other stuff. And
(40:23):
like I felt like the person that I was before
the miraculous surprise of the Quints, it was a completely
different person and I and I had, in a sense,
like lost my identity. So like I'm running to anything
that gives me some sense of like fulfillment and like
makes me feel a little bit better because I'd kind
(40:43):
of lost that and so like I'm just grabbing to
whatever and and usually it's like the easiest thing, you know,
at the time, it's just like cheap highs.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
And you know. Yeah, So it was a very.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
I think when I look back at that season of life,
I would say that I don't remember a lot of it.
And you, as someone who is involved with all these
things in your life and the drastic change of life,
I too had a lot of change in life, but
(41:20):
I couldn't.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
I didn't have them the.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
I guess because I was always home and you in
the beginning, like you would leave and trying to keep
up with things but wanting to be helpful at home
and like, and I never left the home place. So
it's very hard for me to think outside of yeah,
(41:45):
outside of this.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
And when I felt like every single thing that I
was having to keep on my plate was like everything
outside of me and I couldn't juggle at all, and
like I wasn't doing anything well and I was just
like I felt like and it kind of put me
in even more of a dark space because I was
I felt like every single thing that I was trying
(42:08):
to keep afloat going in our life, like I was
failing at And but yeah, you couldn't stop. It's like
you're on this hamster wheel and it just it's not
going to stop turning, and so you just got to
keep feeding the beast. And you know, ultimately it culminated
(42:29):
in us taking a break from the show and like
walking away from that for close to three years.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Right.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
I think it was a mix of I mean, it
was a mix of a lot of things.
Speaker 4 (42:47):
I think that you were coming going through that season
of like depression and coming out of it and all that,
and then.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Probably a year of like praying on like what's what
do we need to do for our family?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
How do we make a change?
Speaker 3 (43:04):
And how do we make a change?
Speaker 4 (43:05):
And then we walk through that and then stepped away
from the time. Yeah, and you stepped away from your career,
which was a huge test of faith too, with a
little bit more security around, you know, insurance and constant
paycheck and a lot of things. So then speed up
(43:28):
and you know, COVID happening, and you know the weight
before COVID. I would say, those those years of like
marriage or really we're really challenging, you know. And and
if I look back and like put myself in where
we were, I mean, anybody will look at it and
say like, oh my god, how did you overcome that?
Speaker 3 (43:48):
How did you do that? How to do that?
Speaker 4 (43:49):
In the moment, it was I didn't feel that way.
I didn't feel like that in the moment because that
because my waking breath was babies, babies, babies, and there
wasn't a lot of Adam Danielle's wife husband that kind
of thing. But it was a season, but we did
very much still try as best as we could always
(44:12):
and I feel like we've always tried this even when
we didn't want to. Was making time in any aspect,
even in times of like fight, it was like we
all we still have to talk and you know, and
so it wasn't like we were like distant distant, but
there was a there was a broken distance in between,
you know. There was like this really deep valley that
(44:34):
we were having, like trying to meet each other in
which caused for your personality and your love language, you
to struggle more than I did, because I am like
a task doer and so I'm constantly like fulfilling those
things all.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Day, just in a different way, just keeping busy, just
keeping busy, you know. And so with me, like I
see that as distance, which makes me like even go
deeper into like a.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
Whole yeah, And I'm like, what you want me to
stop and just sit here like no.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
So it's like once again we were talking about this before,
like our love languages and communications are very opposite.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
So we're speaking two completely different languages at the time,
and like we were just I mean through like marriage counsels.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
We're still trying to figure out how our languages work together.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
Still so just since nineteen years, you.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Know, and just speaking through and talking to different marriage
counselors and stuff. We were never even whenever we would communicate,
we're just like like, just not it's not connecting. It's
not a hard topic the way that question, Yeah, about
anything to try to.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
Answer my question, I'm like, because we just I didn't
hear it that way.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I don't know so many marriage counselors they were just
like you two are the most polar opposite people we've
I've ever met, Like every person that we sat down with, like, wow,
you guys could not be any more different.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
So if there is some encouragement here, it's coming from
two of the most opposite communicated and opposite love language.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
Walking through drastic changes of your life.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
The biggest pressure cooker you can go through. Yeah, and
we're still here, and we're still here, and you know,
so you know, it took us, you know, taking a
break and just like walking away from TV and just
trying to figure out life, reconnect, get to know each other, yeah,
and just really and then just dive.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
You know.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
We we started going to a new church. We you know,
and just kind of uprooted so much in our life
so that we could navigate this change of like, okay,
we're not things aren't how we want them to be, and.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
And I think God figure it out.
Speaker 4 (46:58):
I think God has been there throughout all this, all
all along, because when we started our marriage, we started
our marriage as a covenant with God. And so I
think even on days, which let's just be honest, I
think every marriage goes through days we're like, dude, I
just don't like you today, Like, yes, we still love
each other, but like I don't like you.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
I don't like you, and I'm going to be mad
at you and I'm upset with this. I'm upset with that.
Speaker 4 (47:22):
So I think even on the hardest of horrors, where
it's gotten, where it's like I'm just I.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Just want to be done. I just want to be done.
I'm over this, there's always this conviction.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
There's always has been this conviction in my heart, like,
but God's desire is not this, So how do we
get back on track?
Speaker 3 (47:41):
How do we get back on track?
Speaker 4 (47:44):
And He's been holding it together And I think that's
what's different is that our marriage isn't just held together
by Adam and I. Our marriage is held together because
we keep clinging on to God. It was just us
we would have a long a long time.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Ago, Like God has been so faithful and our marriage
and just just continuing to just like come running to
us and draw us in and and bring people. And
really it's been bringing people into our life to speak
blessing us with people. It would pray over us and
speak into us and give us, you know, godly wise
(48:22):
counsel you know, through through just tough times and just
to give us insight about marriage and parenting and just
navigating relationship and stuff and like how we communicate.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
And I remember going through a season of just like
being so far like feeling you know, feeling like unimportant too,
you know Adams, like I wasn't an important factor to him.
And I just remember like God always was there reminding
(48:59):
us with tiny little like windows of like oh yeah,
oh yeah that and that, but also praying for like God,
you know, remind me, remind me, remind me, show me,
show me, make evidence to me, make evidence to me,
make those desires stronger, like pull Like like I went
(49:21):
through a long time of like praying for that to
be like I'm so distant.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
But I know this is not what I want, not
what he wants for us.
Speaker 4 (49:31):
So I'm praying specifically for those things. Give me desires
to want X y Z. Give me those desires to
want to go hang out with him or sit next
to him, because I'm mad at him, you know, And
that's real, Like, that's real and I and I know
I'm not the only wife who's ever felt like that.
(49:52):
I just have chosen to not cling on to those
deep emotions of it's all about me, me, me, and
cling to God and saying, but Lord, change me, make
these desires yours desires, and like, help me see what
you see and bring me back on that journey. And
it doesn't mean it came quick. It doesn't mean it
(50:15):
came the next day or the next hour. It can,
but that's what has kept it still here, and the
trials and the journey that we've been on. And you know,
the pressure cooker like wants to pop and blow often
out of twenty years of being together, twenty plus years
(50:36):
of being together and the pressures we've been under, Like
it's wanted to explode quite a bit. And you just
got to bring down your selfishness offered grace, ask for
patients and pray for patience, and and everything that you
desire from your spouse, spouse that you want for him
(50:59):
to do for you or you like vice versa. Like
those two are the things that you need to be
doing for the other person. So talk nicer to me,
act this way, like I too need to do that,
I too need to be what I'm wanting.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
I guess you know understand you know your relationship as
you know, constantly reminding yourself of I'm not fighting her
right now, like it's us fighting whatever this problem is
or whatever this feeling is, Like we should be fighting
it together. Yeah, because it's it's combating against us, like
(51:38):
seeing us as one and daily and yeah, and it's
just it's a daily it's a daily reminder, a daily fight.
Whenever you just want to get short or you assume
a lot on just like in communication, like you like
on stuff that you do all the time, but you
(51:59):
just leave to assumption and you don't communicate things well.
And so you know, always to get back to the
root of Okay, what's what's the real problem here, what's
this underlying problem? How do we how do we combat this?
How do we fight this together, okay.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
And then taking action upon that. So and I think
taking action upon whenever you say, okay, it's not me
against you, it's us against the problem and come together.
But then for a prime example to show you as
that communication solves different a scheduled detailer atoms like won't
write a thing down. So on episodes of the show,
(52:41):
you would see us talk about like calendar, share calendar,
put it on the calendar, put it on the calendar as.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
Something Adam was not good at, but something that I like,
run by a calendar.
Speaker 4 (52:51):
And so if if one action is going to make
it better for the family, yeah, whoever is it has
the harder time with it has to deny themselves and
do it because it's going to help the family.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
So it's harder still for this day to.
Speaker 4 (53:06):
Add them to like be like calendar calendar and I'm like,
it needs to go on the calendar because you might
remember it and you might schedule something that I'm not
involved in. But we also have six other people in
the house that are also needing utilization of our calendar.
And so sometimes we get like single minded when we
(53:27):
have to look at family minded. And so even even
at times where it's like something that might be harder
for me to do, I have to be like, oh
my god, yes, but this is going to make it
easier for everybody else in the house, not just it's
annoying for me to do this.
Speaker 2 (53:44):
So big things, having a family calendar. But also be
mindful because what happens to me a lot is because
I deal with like multiple other companies and multiple other
groups of people that like invite me to meetings or
zoom calls or or I've got stuff going on, and
they'll send a calendar invite and I'll respond to it
and it'll go on my calendar, but she doesn't see it,
(54:06):
and so like, but I just look at my phone
and it's on the calendar.
Speaker 4 (54:10):
That's why I want that big calendar. It's going to
join all the all the work calendars.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
I noticed that today, like that had added like a
couple of things this week, and they're on my calendar.
I'm gonna keep it in your office. But they're the
wrong color, Like yellow is our family color, and there
was purple on mine and there, Yeah, that's why it's
wrong because should be purple. And so so I just
look at it. I'm like oh, it's on my calendar,
(54:35):
but she doesn't see it. So you assume back to assumptions,
You assume that one thing is one way, and then
you're just not communicating fully.
Speaker 4 (54:47):
And I think a lot I think a lot of
this is a dynamics of a of a couple working
together and entrepreneurs and and we're not back on the
day where like Adam would leave for work and I
wasn't involved with the refinery petrochemical world, like that was
work for the days. But now we do a lot
(55:07):
of things that cross paths and everything, so we have
to be like joined on the calendar.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
So that is something that is that's.
Speaker 2 (55:16):
Hard for couples that work together or work from the
home together, because.
Speaker 4 (55:21):
Not every couple can relate to this because like I'm
a teacher and he's a lawyer. Well, I wouldn't say
you're working calendars need to be the same because you
go to school from seven to five, like whatever, you know,
But advice from us is working together families and entrepreneurs
and husbands and wives that work together. That is something
(55:41):
we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (55:42):
So it's better communication.
Speaker 3 (55:44):
And just yeah, I think to kind of like close
this podcast out because we keep going.
Speaker 2 (55:53):
But I know this podcast is long.
Speaker 3 (55:56):
Yeah, but just kind of close it out. I mean
something I think that.
Speaker 4 (56:01):
Just some encouragement for the listeners, is that an advice
that we give is just like surrender. Surrender daily is
you know, whenever you have an issue or a struggle
or whatever, like you just almost need to slap yourself
in the face and say, like, Okay, God, show me
what I did wrong, or tell me how I need
(56:21):
to overcome this or walk through this. Trust in God
even when it's hard, even when you don't know the outcome,
you know. I think that people walk through seasons, and
seasons are beneficial and the hearts are going to test
you to help you persevere and help you like build
(56:44):
endurance for the next season to come, you know, And
so don't waste those seasons. Those seasons are building you
up for what is to come. Invest in your marriage, communicate, date,
have fun together, go away together, have family time. Invest
in your family, but more so invest in your marriage
(57:08):
because that sets the platform of like how are you
raising your family and your kids see that your kids
see what is evident to them, and you can see
the relationship between mom and dad is going to build
security in them, and it's not just by words, it's
by actions and how you live. So Proverbs three, five
(57:30):
or six, trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understandings because your
own this isn't in there, but your own understandings will
most often fail you. So hope this episode was encouraging
and you got to hear a little bit deeper part
of our more than reality hearts.
Speaker 3 (57:50):
So thanks for listening, yep, and we'll see in the
next one.
Speaker 5 (57:53):
Thanks guys, all right, State scho
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and daniel Busby.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
What's Up? Welcome to episode thirty one and More Than
Reality Podcast with Adam and Danielle Busby. And today was
I mean, not just today, this past week. Give a
little update for the week. So Danielle had remember the week.
I know it's probably a blur for you. It's probably
(00:46):
a blur for both of us. So like what you
left on Wednesday?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Oh? Yeah, I went to women's retreat.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, so there was like a women's like a spot.
It was kind of like spawn Sard by our church.
There's a big women's retreat. But first, we want to
thank one of the sponsors for our show today, which
is Good Ranchers. And we're going to talk a little
bit later in the episode about a new exciting offer
(01:17):
which means a discount, an even bigger discount maybe maybe something,
And it actually involves a lifetime discount, which is crazy.
I was actually shocked whenever I read it. I was like, wait,
is that right? Yeah, lifetime discount, So thank you Good
Ranchers for sponsoring this episode. Stay tuned later in the
episode for the details the big offer. But good Ranchers
(01:43):
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Speaker 3 (01:49):
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Speaker 2 (01:50):
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Speaker 2 (02:07):
That's a good one. So thank you Good Ranchers. You
can go to good ranchers dot com and then also
good ranchers dot com slash busby for the Busby box.
But now we're gonna get back to the episode. Good
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Speaker 4 (02:23):
So I joined up on the Women's Admin team and
so kind of like helping with women's ministry things. That's
where like my heart passion are women's ministry, and so
I jumped on board with helping out with some of
the getaway retreat planning.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
So it's really good. It's really fun. Time.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I went up a day before to kind of be
with the team and get some stuff set up and
just kind of have like some time together to like
pray together and just chat and kind of like look
at the property and like look at everything and stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
So it's really fun.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
It was an interesting property too, compared to like pass retreats.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah not yeah, I mean it was it was it
was at so it was at Margaritaville, which seems weird,
but honestly.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
This woman Interrotrey has grown so much every year that
the place that they had last year could not even
support it anywhere.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
And it's a place that they've been for years, and
so we had to outsource to a different location. And
so this place was great. And I know it sounds
weird when you say like Margaritaville, but honestly it was
so good because I think the season of time it
was not like summer or like a holiday. It was
just like a mid week into the week kind of
(03:41):
like event. And so there was barely anybody there like
else there was.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Don't go in there like in the middle of a week.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
But it was nice. I mean they had like a
lazy river.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
They had like pools and just like for moms to
like be out there and like we were on a lake.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It was water.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
What do you mean then a pool?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Of course there's a pool.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
It was a water warm Oh I thought you said
they had a water one, and I'm like, of course
there's water there. So it's up on the lake, so
Lake con Lake Congra, which I had never been up
there before, like this far out, and so it's really pretty.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
So there was like a lazy river. There was like
a whole kid area. There was like another pool area
hot up. They had like pick a ball courts because
you know how to play pick a ball. They had
like put putt. I mean, the rooms were great. The
rooms were big, Like every room was like had like
a mini living room with the bed with a bedroom
(04:37):
and so so they were all kind of like sweets. Yeah,
in a sense. So it was I mean, I thought
it worked out great. A little logistic things were different,
and you know, stepping into somewhere the first time. But
I think we had, if not half the crowd, at
least a third of the attendees were first timers, which
(04:58):
is huge.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Why we had to go somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It just shows how much the church is growing.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, but it was really good.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I mean, you know, I think a lot of us
felt big for what was going to happen over those
couple of days at the retreat and just like seeing
God move and heal and tear walls down for people.
And so it was and I love being involved and
just being there for.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And you got to you got to get up on
stage and.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I didn't get up on stage or just got up
in a mic.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh you got up on a mic to share it
was there a stage.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Well not in there, It was like there. It was
a breakout session. I did one of the breakout sessions.
So we did a breakout session on a small version
of like hope on like wondering going through a season
of like experiencing where are you God, to then being
fulfilled with things of maybe whatever season Like to explain
(06:00):
my story of hope is going through a season where
I didn't know where God was and questioned and struggled,
and then overcame what my hope was for and like
what was I looking for? You? What was the struggle
in so like infertility, growing a family, having quits, like
all that season of having a family. And so I
(06:21):
shared my testimony of like walking through trials to have
a family and then to be blessed with more than
I could ever imagined.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
It just fit into the breakout.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
It was just a breakout there was like six breakouts
one day, and so I was in one of the breakouts.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
But yeah, it went really good.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
It was really funny to have something to share within
ten minutes. Speech that's about your testimony is very very hard.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
When Daniel gets starts talking about her story, it usually
takes more than ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Too many details, huh.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
But so it was funny because I like just gave
I mean, I typed it up, I read through it,
and I'd read through it multiple times, and I'm like, okay,
it's five minutes, so ten minutes I should be good.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
When you told when you told me you had to
give your your whole story in ten minutes, I was like,
oh boy, I.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Mean it's not interesting.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
I mean it is interesting because it's God's story, but
it is interesting. I feel like there's so much more
emotion and stuff with more details, and like the heart
of it is it needs details.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Like it took.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
It took more than an hour long podcast, but.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
I just kind of did like a little snippet of
like who I was, and then like got married, wanted
a family, and then when I got to the part
of talking about the quints, I had already been getting
like tapped like times up like two minute warning, and
then I got to the end and she's like.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Really got to wrap it up, and I'm like, okay,
one more second.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
And then I was like, I mean, did that time
include people asking you questions?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
No? So it was very funny.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Is I kind of wrapped it up with just like
a scripture of like just encourage people and hope okay
with Isaiah.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
And so I'm walking, I'm like, get my computer. I
walk off from the la in the crowd.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Goes, wait, wait, wait, wait, but did you have the babies?
Speaker 3 (08:23):
And I was like, oh, I guess I did. See
the story was cut off the suit. I was like,
I did have them.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
They're ten years old and they're perfectly healthy.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, you did have to cut a lot off, I did,
so did you have the baby?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
But it was fun getting to hang around and be
with our community group and a couple other people added
into the group for the for the week. So yeah,
I mean doing things like that builds your community tighter
and it's more intimate and you get to know one another.
And this was the first year that I went to
my third year at this women's retreat with the church,
(09:02):
and this was the first year I went.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
With because we've only been going to this church for
about three years.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Yeah, this is the only time I've gone with like
knowing the people that I'm doing group with. Like the
first year I went with someone I knew, but we
didn't really know each other. Last year I went with
I mean my sister, and then like there were people
I know there, but it's just very different.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
So the people I went with this time.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
We've been in community group and so like doing real,
real realness together and stuff for at least what since August,
so like seven months or something. So it was fun
to like step into like growing our bond deeper than that.
So and then I led one of the activities, which
was pickleball, which was supposed to be blowing the dark pickleball,
(09:46):
but it wasn't glowing in the dark because.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
The court lights were on and it was really bright.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
And then I couldn't play because I was sweating and
there was a lot of glare with the lights. But
I was like, it's okay, I'm trying to run this
pickleball thing, so to get you replate that, man, uh.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
But it was fun.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Then right back left early Saturday to go straight to
Darby's baby shower and then to party, and then we
were supposed to go see a hired Watson that.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
We had to wake up. We wanted to go, uh
buddy of ours, Aaron Watson. He's a Texas country singer,
and I texted him earlier in the week and said, Hey,
we're going to try to come. And because normally he
plays at like honkey Dongs and like bars and stuff,
plays like the whole Texas country.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
This was like some festival.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, it was like a beach festival. And I was say, oh,
that's it would actually be super cool because like this
is like an event that I can take the whole
family and so like you can meet the kids and
like see the kids and stuff like that. But I
just started thinking about it and and Ava and Parker
had a volleyball tournament the next day, and we had
(10:58):
church and everything. And typically how concerts go, they say
the concert starts at eight, eight pm, and he's got
an opener, and so usually it was concerts never start
when they say they're gonna start. It's usually like an
hour after. It's like, what did you do that? So
concerts starts at eight and then it doesn't start till
(11:19):
nine and then usually the opener goes for forty five
minutes to an hour, and then there's probably a forty
five minutes to an hour break while they like swap
out all the gear on stage, and then he's gonna go.
So I'm like, man, he's probably not gonna start to
like ten pm, and that's gonna be a lot to
like keep the kids up after they've been playing, like
(11:39):
they went to a skate party, you know they're gonna
be exhausted roller skate roller skating. And then knowing we
got to be up early the next morning, I was like, man,
it's just I feel like that's gonna be too much,
And so we didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
But it was a busy weekend, and I know that
I was sad not to go to the little what
do they call it was a beach party beach.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
It was Sylvan Beach Festivals.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
But it was packed. It would have been fun.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I saw all the pictures and videos and there's a
ton of people there.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Yeah, tons of people. But yeah, it's a busy weekend.
Now back into.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
It was funny because like the day I think we
told the story about Hazel's glasses breaking, and so literally
the day Danielle leaves, kids get home from school and
one day.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
We're going to get those glasses fixed. But we fixed them,
and they they work for a couple of days.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Isn't it week?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, and then we like epoxy epoxy and them back
together over Easter break in Louisiana. And it was just
like a just an epoxy that Dad had in his garage,
which I don't think it was like the best epoxy
to use for that case, because even whenever I was
like taking it apart, it was still kind of almost
like a really hard hot glue. I feel like it
(12:56):
just wasn't going to hold up for a while. And
then sure enough, like Hazel came and grab me. It
was like at six thirty, She's like, Dad, I forgot
to tell you I broke my glasses today at PEM
Like oh goodness, and she like but she was still
wearing them. She takes them off and they're like duct
taped like around the around the end. I was like, hey,
(13:20):
so why didn't you tell me? I left earlier to
go to go run to the store to pick up
food to like cook or whatever, so I could have
ran to the store and grabbed that, and so like
I just stop what I was doing, leave again and
go get like a really strong apoxy and bring them
home and like mix it up and try to try
to fix them. But I knew they weren't gonna be
(13:41):
ready for the next day because they have them they
take like twenty four hours to like harden well.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
But those glasses like have like warranty on them, and
like I don't have to pay to get them fixed.
But I can't give them the glasses without her having
a pair of glasses.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
So I finally ordered a pair of glasses, and I
was like.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Oh, these are pretty cheap AMST good order too with
these prescriptions, so I can actually send hers off because
she needs another pair to wear around and then like
some sung like the sunglass ones. But anyway, so I'm not.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
A fan of it. Like the glasses she has right now,
did you get them?
Speaker 3 (14:20):
With this? She loves the translim it's not a fan
of it.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I mean because it's crazy and it's convenient. She's got
the transition lenses, but it sucks whenever we're like taking
family photos.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
And yeah, so that's why I got another pair that it.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Just looks like Hazel's wearing sunglasses. It's like all of
us are like looking at the camera's mile and Hazel's
just over there in her sunglasses, Like, hey, take that
kid sunglasses off, But but she can't help it because
it just automatically transitions in the light.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Yeah, I got her a pair that's literally just like
just clear lenses that way good and won't do that
the other ones will switch.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
That's what that's I mean, she loves me photographer brain. Like,
that's why I don't like transition lenses because like they
can't do anything about it. The glasses just turned dark
and it just doesn't look good in a photo.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Hi.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
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(16:00):
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Speaker 3 (16:02):
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I would just say they're very soft and cool.
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Speaker 2 (16:57):
Weirdest feeling, like when we first get into it, Like
you get into bed and she's cool. I'm like, but
it was so and to have that cool feeling, but
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Speaker 4 (18:19):
Moms deserved the best, don't forget all right, So what
are we talking about today?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
So today we're gonna be talking about it's kind of
we're gonna kind of be taking like a little trip
down memory lane and just talk about like how God
has shaped us through probably the toughest seasons of our lives,
and like what we learned through it, what we learned
about ourselves through that season of just coming through things
that we've never been exposed to and never knew before
(18:47):
that season, and you know how how it affected us
then how how it had affected us personally, our marriage,
our family, and then you know how we kind of
how we overcame those situations and you know, and allow
God to like shape us through that to like where
we are right now.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
I mean, if we jump back like before like Public
Life and Quint's, I would say that the season of
just like.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Feeling normal, just like this normous, normal people.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Normal people that didn't drive a bus and you know,
I had six kids whatever, anyway, the normal average family
first little through bedroom home, you know, have a daughter,
have the two dogs, a house, and the reality like
both careers, our faith was like strongest that had ever
been going to the trial of like trying to have.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Blake is where it kind of all like really got
to its height.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, I feel like that that was like one of
those pivotal moments in our life that like drew us
near to our faith through through the through the trying
times of infertility when we're trying to have Like that's
what that taught us a lot about just faith and
you know, God's timing on things, and you know, life
(20:08):
doesn't really necessarily always go how you just envision it
in your head of like, oh, we're gonna do this
and we're going to get married and we're going to
have kids, and and then all of a sudden, like
once disappointment hits, it really like kind of it tests
you and shows you like who you really are.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
You know.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
And I think that through that season it like built
us stronger, you know, as we look back and then
you know, we're blessed with having Blake and then the
journey and desire to you know, ask for another child
from God and be like, hey, we want more, like
can we do that?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Can we ask for that? And then speed that up.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
I think between the time we had Blake until you know,
find out we were pregnant with the Quince was we
were still very strong in our faith as far as
you know, what we were doing as far as you know,
church involvement and ministry and just our surroundings of people
in our life. We were good and just even healthy
(21:10):
physical wise. That was the best shape after I had Blake.
That I will always say that was the best ship
I've ever been in. And I think, and I know,
as I look back, I say that was intentional, Like
God intentionally placed us in that season, and we had
desires and stuff for that so that my body, I feel,
(21:33):
could go for what was being prepared for, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Yeah, And I think it kind of goes along with
like the topic of last week's podcast is just like
you know, just taking that next step and getting to
like that next level and the spiral kind of quoting
a book from Leave Out Lusco about Blessed are the
Spiraling and so like, you know, us having Blake kind
(21:59):
of like got us to that next level of like
our faith and stuff. But I think there through that time,
like there was still so much that God wanted to
show us. Yeah, you know, and so you know, you
get through that season, you're like, oh, yeah, like we're good,
and God just like showing like, no, I want to
(22:20):
show you just how much you need me, and you're
gonna much more you need me, yeah, yeah, and how
much you should be depending on me and.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Stuff, and like, because I think whenever you're at the
height of where you feel you are spiritually sound and strong,
there's still more. There's still more that God can do.
There's still more that He can do to amaze you
in your life. And it's never ending. And so you know,
saying like we were, we were, we were healthy physical
(22:51):
and sound spiritual mind, and then going up and then saying, Okay,
we want another you know, we want to pray about
expanding our family and having another child and a sibling.
For Blake to find out you're pregnant with quintuplets, you're like, whoa, whoa,
this is definitely and love our faith too, because it's
(23:14):
another level and this is something we know we can't
do on our own and we can't do without God.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
And then you know, obviously you know the story of
us going through just all the trials and everything surrounding
just Danielle getting through the pregnancy, and you know, all
the things that the doctors were saying to us about
you know, reduction and all those things, well, you know,
(23:43):
finally culminated to here we are, you know, now we're
home with this family of eight now and you know,
reality TV starts, you know, and there is so much
you know, we're so much change. We were so naive really,
you know, because it was I mean, how I mean,
(24:03):
there's nothing that you can really do to prepare you
for reality TV life.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Yes that is true, but also prepare you for relie
to be life.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Prepare you for quintuplets, prepare you for everything in your
life change, like everything was all at one time. And
so if you look at the statistics of the world,
would say we should have failed multiple times in what
keeping up as a family of structure and health and
(24:37):
appointments and all that, and just like the health and
well being of the family, and we should have not
been here today in our marriage. We should have left
the world of entertainment destroy everything, because that's what happens, right,
That's what happens.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
And so that question that we get asked all the
time is that.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Or statement stills this day get made and people have
their own judgment and whatnot. But you know, this is
going to rip you all apart, This is going to
tear you apart. But like we we know, we know
that is what the world says, but the one thing
that we feel like we had very differently and maybe
not different than everybody in reality TV, but we felt
(25:21):
very strong about But we have Jesus in our hearts
and like we know where our identity is like found,
and like that's what keeps us solid. Doesn't mean it
was easy, doesn't mean that we didn't have fights and
arguments and trials, and that's something that we're going to
talk about today, but like knowing that no matter what,
like that was the core of it all. It kept
(25:44):
everything together, even in the not want to be held together.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Even you know, just like this pressure cooker of and
there was good and bad that came from that. I
mean like good as far as it brought so many
like opportunity unities for our family whenever we were just
like how are we going to do this and stuff,
and you know, it allowed to give a little bit
(26:09):
of like breathing room for us to like figure life out.
But then also you know, on the other side of it,
you know, it's just NonStop people around in your face,
always feeling like you're on and that that's like twofold
(26:31):
and you know it's good and bad. I mean you
always feel like you're on which is kind of exhausting,
but then also like, what's.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Funny if I think about what what what little? What
little has you know?
Speaker 4 (26:45):
For ten seasons, the little bit of our life or
a lot of I mean a lot of our life
was captured, but a little bit is shown, right, And
so that's where that dynamic of like you're under a microscope,
but it's really only subjective to like what is wanting
to be put under the microscope?
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Yeah, but that's also I mean, what's.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Gonna draw attention, what's gonna draw in viewers, what's gonna
draw in?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
It's this caricature of your life that's under a microscope. Yeah,
but people don't really people don't really see the full picture.
They don't really see everything. And but then that's what
you're being judged and critiqued, and you know, your life
is based off of as like this little bitty snippet, snippet,
(27:36):
snippet of what people are allowed to see on TV. Yeah,
and also you know that's the whole reason why you know,
here we are ten years later, and we decided to
do this podcast because I feel like there's so many
gaps and holes in our story and our journey that
like you guys never got to see and you never
(27:57):
really got to understand the full picture or the real
are the full picture of like who we are in
our life because over the course of you know, say
to film one episode of TV, it takes about ten
days roughly. Can you get to see ten twelve twelve
(28:17):
hour days of filming condensed into about forty minutes on TV?
And so, you know, then they're just like picking things,
and you know, so they show you what they want
you to see based off of, you know, entertainment value
and stuff like that. What's going to be the most entertaining,
what's going to be the most like dramatic with you know,
(28:38):
all this stuff, and you know, and that was good
or good and bad, but it wasn't the full picture, yeah,
you know, and so but then you know, you're under
this microscope and just life based off of this one
little aspect of your life, and nobody understands tis aspect
(28:58):
that got shown.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
You're like, what was That're like, oh, really, that's what
That's what we're going to dictate or pick on, you know.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
And and and that comes into play whenever you're just
you know, here we are we're naive. We don't understand it.
You know, we've shared and we tried to share and
portray like the good and the bad on our TV show.
It wasn't always you know, I feel like it was.
It was shown good and bad, yes, uh, but you know,
(29:35):
we didn't understand the scope and the gravity of just
life in the public eye also, and and it was
all the while all these changes are being are happening
in our personal life, in our home and and so you're,
you know, all these changes were happening, all these changes
(29:55):
were being made while you're you know, under this microscope.
All right, So we're gonna take a little break for
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I think the I read a stat and it's like
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Speaker 2 (34:25):
All right, So I had a good shut the door
because the kids just got home from school. But you know,
so we're under this microscope. But also like all these
other things are changing in our life. I'm working full time,
Danielle's not working anymore. There's a TV crew pretty much
full time in our house. And you know, here the
(34:48):
TV show has kind of taken this life of its own,
and you know, we're seeing it as oh, you know,
this isn't just oh, we have a TV show and
like stuff's happening, you know, and capturing our life, but
also like this is now, like this is now a business.
And you know, whenever you start thinking about social media
(35:08):
and YouTube stuff and like all these other facets of
just like life and business, while I'm working full time,
starting to go through like this season of male postpartum
depression and just like having all these like feelings of
just being burnt out and tired and like lethargic. And
(35:29):
you know, through that time, whenever I was going through
this season of depression, you know, you you later learn,
you know, things in your life that are escapes, things
that like you will run to for like a cheap
high or whatever. And so like one of those things
became like just like social media and attention just because
(35:55):
it was like this cheap high and I didn't know
what to do with it, Like I didn't like I've
all of a sudden like everything's just been thrown at you,
you know, and so you just you kind of run
to the thing that like, oh, like all these people
are like love us and all these things and so
like and you just kind of like grab onto that
and and it affects you in this weird way, and
(36:21):
you know, and it sent me down like this road
that didn't know quite how to handle, you know when
you say, I'm like kind of.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Yeah, I hated this, Adam, Yeah, I hated that. Adam
well hates a little strong word. We it brought and
this is where this is where like that reality of
reality comes in and you see the power of what
quote unquote fame can do to something or someone in
(36:55):
her family or like whatever. Because there were days and
I remember just being like, dude, like that that is
that has become like your priority, yeah in a sense,
and like that is what you're filling your time with.
And we all know whatever you put your time in
is where your heart is, yeah, you know. And it
was a it was like a false, false identity.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
He was like an idol. Idol, Yeah, when you look
at you, like the Bible and like anything that comes
before like you and your faith and God and and
stuff like that, and it's like an idol in your
life and it's just something that you know, I feel
like the devil was like using against our family because
you know, I was weak in this in this season
(37:39):
of my life. I was weak. Oh, and he will
stomp on that because you know, here I am going
through like all these like weird emotions that I've never
felt before, just feeling down and depressed. But then you know,
you look to social media and all of a sudden,
it's like, oh, like you know, I love you guys,
and you know all these like people singing your praise
(38:01):
is good. I mean good and bad too, because like
even like the negative stuff would put you in like
a really negative headspace, but because you didn't know how
to deal with that yet. Obviously it still it still
bothers me every now and then. But you know, you
you learn to, especially being in the public eye and
like being a public figure like on social media and stuff,
(38:22):
you just learned to like let stuff roll off of you.
And because there's always negative people out there. Being that
early on in our careers on reality TVs. You know,
you just don't understand that, you don't you don't know
what that's like until you're faced with it. And you know,
(38:44):
so here I am going through this season of depression
and then just trying to find anything out there that's
going to like make me feel a little bit better.
And so then you just start pouring your time into
whatever it may be. But was working, you know, full
time on television, full time in my career, and you know,
(39:08):
at home with our family, and you know, so all
these changes were happening in my life and I wasn't
I wasn't juggling any of it well, and you know,
and it became it came in between our relationship, It
came between our family, and you know, and I think
(39:32):
like later on, like seasons down the road in our
TV show, well, I think a lot of I.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
Think I think in that season two, there's this narrative
that we tell ourselves. I think where the enemy like
really wants to take over and start to tell you, like,
this is what you need to do, this is where
you're going to find joy, this is where you're going
to find happiness and and it distracts you from from
the true, the true desires of your heart.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Right, Yeah, because I was in that season, like I was,
I was struggling to find my identity. Like I felt
like after having the Quints, I completely lost my identity.
Like everything in the world started revolving around and we're
just trying to keep these babies alive and and keep
food on our table and all this other stuff. And
(40:23):
like I felt like the person that I was before
the miraculous surprise of the Quints, it was a completely
different person and I and I had, in a sense,
like lost my identity. So like I'm running to anything
that gives me some sense of like fulfillment and like
makes me feel a little bit better because I'd kind
(40:43):
of lost that and so like I'm just grabbing to
whatever and and usually it's like the easiest thing, you know,
at the time, it's just like cheap highs.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
And you know. Yeah, So it was a very.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
I think when I look back at that season of life,
I would say that I don't remember a lot of it.
And you, as someone who is involved with all these
things in your life and the drastic change of life,
I too had a lot of change in life, but
(41:20):
I couldn't.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
I didn't have them the.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
I guess because I was always home and you in
the beginning, like you would leave and trying to keep
up with things but wanting to be helpful at home
and like, and I never left the home place. So
it's very hard for me to think outside of yeah,
(41:45):
outside of this.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
And when I felt like every single thing that I
was having to keep on my plate was like everything
outside of me and I couldn't juggle at all, and
like I wasn't doing anything well and I was just
like I felt like and it kind of put me
in even more of a dark space because I was
I felt like every single thing that I was trying
(42:08):
to keep afloat going in our life, like I was
failing at And but yeah, you couldn't stop. It's like
you're on this hamster wheel and it just it's not
going to stop turning, and so you just got to
keep feeding the beast. And you know, ultimately it culminated
(42:29):
in us taking a break from the show and like
walking away from that for close to three years.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Right.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
I think it was a mix of I mean, it
was a mix of a lot of things.
Speaker 4 (42:47):
I think that you were coming going through that season
of like depression and coming out of it and all that,
and then.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Probably a year of like praying on like what's what
do we need to do for our family?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
How do we make a change?
Speaker 3 (43:04):
And how do we make a change?
Speaker 4 (43:05):
And then we walk through that and then stepped away
from the time. Yeah, and you stepped away from your career,
which was a huge test of faith too, with a
little bit more security around, you know, insurance and constant
paycheck and a lot of things. So then speed up
(43:28):
and you know, COVID happening, and you know the weight
before COVID. I would say, those those years of like
marriage or really we're really challenging, you know. And and
if I look back and like put myself in where
we were, I mean, anybody will look at it and
say like, oh my god, how did you overcome that?
Speaker 3 (43:48):
How did you do that? How to do that?
Speaker 4 (43:49):
In the moment, it was I didn't feel that way.
I didn't feel like that in the moment because that
because my waking breath was babies, babies, babies, and there
wasn't a lot of Adam Danielle's wife husband that kind
of thing. But it was a season, but we did
very much still try as best as we could always
(44:12):
and I feel like we've always tried this even when
we didn't want to. Was making time in any aspect,
even in times of like fight, it was like we
all we still have to talk and you know, and
so it wasn't like we were like distant distant, but
there was a there was a broken distance in between,
you know. There was like this really deep valley that
(44:34):
we were having, like trying to meet each other in
which caused for your personality and your love language, you
to struggle more than I did, because I am like
a task doer and so I'm constantly like fulfilling those
things all.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Day, just in a different way, just keeping busy, just
keeping busy, you know. And so with me, like I
see that as distance, which makes me like even go
deeper into like a.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
Whole yeah, And I'm like, what you want me to
stop and just sit here like no.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
So it's like once again we were talking about this before,
like our love languages and communications are very opposite.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
So we're speaking two completely different languages at the time,
and like we were just I mean through like marriage counsels.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
We're still trying to figure out how our languages work together.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
Still so just since nineteen years, you.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Know, and just speaking through and talking to different marriage
counselors and stuff. We were never even whenever we would communicate,
we're just like like, just not it's not connecting. It's
not a hard topic the way that question, Yeah, about
anything to try to.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
Answer my question, I'm like, because we just I didn't
hear it that way.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I don't know so many marriage counselors they were just
like you two are the most polar opposite people we've
I've ever met, Like every person that we sat down with, like, wow,
you guys could not be any more different.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
So if there is some encouragement here, it's coming from
two of the most opposite communicated and opposite love language.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
Walking through drastic changes of your life.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
The biggest pressure cooker you can go through. Yeah, and
we're still here, and we're still here, and you know,
so you know, it took us, you know, taking a
break and just like walking away from TV and just
trying to figure out life, reconnect, get to know each other, yeah,
and just really and then just dive.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
You know.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
We we started going to a new church. We you know,
and just kind of uprooted so much in our life
so that we could navigate this change of like, okay,
we're not things aren't how we want them to be, and.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
And I think God figure it out.
Speaker 4 (46:58):
I think God has been there throughout all this, all
all along, because when we started our marriage, we started
our marriage as a covenant with God. And so I
think even on days, which let's just be honest, I
think every marriage goes through days we're like, dude, I
just don't like you today, Like, yes, we still love
each other, but like I don't like you.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
I don't like you, and I'm going to be mad
at you and I'm upset with this. I'm upset with that.
Speaker 4 (47:22):
So I think even on the hardest of horrors, where
it's gotten, where it's like I'm just I.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Just want to be done. I just want to be done.
I'm over this, there's always this conviction.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
There's always has been this conviction in my heart, like,
but God's desire is not this, So how do we
get back on track?
Speaker 3 (47:41):
How do we get back on track?
Speaker 4 (47:44):
And He's been holding it together And I think that's
what's different is that our marriage isn't just held together
by Adam and I. Our marriage is held together because
we keep clinging on to God. It was just us
we would have a long a long time.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Ago, Like God has been so faithful and our marriage
and just just continuing to just like come running to
us and draw us in and and bring people. And
really it's been bringing people into our life to speak
blessing us with people. It would pray over us and
speak into us and give us, you know, godly wise
(48:22):
counsel you know, through through just tough times and just
to give us insight about marriage and parenting and just
navigating relationship and stuff and like how we communicate.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
And I remember going through a season of just like
being so far like feeling you know, feeling like unimportant too,
you know Adams, like I wasn't an important factor to him.
And I just remember like God always was there reminding
(48:59):
us with tiny little like windows of like oh yeah,
oh yeah that and that, but also praying for like God,
you know, remind me, remind me, remind me, show me,
show me, make evidence to me, make evidence to me,
make those desires stronger, like pull Like like I went
(49:21):
through a long time of like praying for that to
be like I'm so distant.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
But I know this is not what I want, not
what he wants for us.
Speaker 4 (49:31):
So I'm praying specifically for those things. Give me desires
to want X y Z. Give me those desires to
want to go hang out with him or sit next
to him, because I'm mad at him, you know, And
that's real, Like, that's real and I and I know
I'm not the only wife who's ever felt like that.
(49:52):
I just have chosen to not cling on to those
deep emotions of it's all about me, me, me, and
cling to God and saying, but Lord, change me, make
these desires yours desires, and like, help me see what
you see and bring me back on that journey. And
it doesn't mean it came quick. It doesn't mean it
(50:15):
came the next day or the next hour. It can,
but that's what has kept it still here, and the
trials and the journey that we've been on. And you know,
the pressure cooker like wants to pop and blow often
out of twenty years of being together, twenty plus years
(50:36):
of being together and the pressures we've been under, Like
it's wanted to explode quite a bit. And you just
got to bring down your selfishness offered grace, ask for
patients and pray for patience, and and everything that you
desire from your spouse, spouse that you want for him
(50:59):
to do for you or you like vice versa. Like
those two are the things that you need to be
doing for the other person. So talk nicer to me,
act this way, like I too need to do that,
I too need to be what I'm wanting.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
I guess you know understand you know your relationship as
you know, constantly reminding yourself of I'm not fighting her
right now, like it's us fighting whatever this problem is
or whatever this feeling is, Like we should be fighting
it together. Yeah, because it's it's combating against us, like
(51:38):
seeing us as one and daily and yeah, and it's
just it's a daily it's a daily reminder, a daily fight.
Whenever you just want to get short or you assume
a lot on just like in communication, like you like
on stuff that you do all the time, but you
(51:59):
just leave to assumption and you don't communicate things well.
And so you know, always to get back to the
root of Okay, what's what's the real problem here, what's
this underlying problem? How do we how do we combat this?
How do we fight this together, okay.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
And then taking action upon that. So and I think
taking action upon whenever you say, okay, it's not me
against you, it's us against the problem and come together.
But then for a prime example to show you as
that communication solves different a scheduled detailer atoms like won't
write a thing down. So on episodes of the show,
(52:41):
you would see us talk about like calendar, share calendar,
put it on the calendar, put it on the calendar as.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
Something Adam was not good at, but something that I like,
run by a calendar.
Speaker 4 (52:51):
And so if if one action is going to make
it better for the family, yeah, whoever is it has
the harder time with it has to deny themselves and
do it because it's going to help the family.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
So it's harder still for this day to.
Speaker 4 (53:06):
Add them to like be like calendar calendar and I'm like,
it needs to go on the calendar because you might
remember it and you might schedule something that I'm not
involved in. But we also have six other people in
the house that are also needing utilization of our calendar.
And so sometimes we get like single minded when we
(53:27):
have to look at family minded. And so even even
at times where it's like something that might be harder
for me to do, I have to be like, oh
my god, yes, but this is going to make it
easier for everybody else in the house, not just it's
annoying for me to do this.
Speaker 2 (53:44):
So big things, having a family calendar. But also be
mindful because what happens to me a lot is because
I deal with like multiple other companies and multiple other
groups of people that like invite me to meetings or
zoom calls or or I've got stuff going on, and
they'll send a calendar invite and I'll respond to it
and it'll go on my calendar, but she doesn't see it,
(54:06):
and so like, but I just look at my phone
and it's on the calendar.
Speaker 4 (54:10):
That's why I want that big calendar. It's going to
join all the all the work calendars.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
I noticed that today, like that had added like a
couple of things this week, and they're on my calendar.
I'm gonna keep it in your office. But they're the
wrong color, Like yellow is our family color, and there
was purple on mine and there, Yeah, that's why it's
wrong because should be purple. And so so I just
look at it. I'm like oh, it's on my calendar,
(54:35):
but she doesn't see it. So you assume back to assumptions,
You assume that one thing is one way, and then
you're just not communicating fully.
Speaker 4 (54:47):
And I think a lot I think a lot of
this is a dynamics of a of a couple working
together and entrepreneurs and and we're not back on the
day where like Adam would leave for work and I
wasn't involved with the refinery petrochemical world, like that was
work for the days. But now we do a lot
(55:07):
of things that cross paths and everything, so we have
to be like joined on the calendar.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
So that is something that is that's.
Speaker 2 (55:16):
Hard for couples that work together or work from the
home together, because.
Speaker 4 (55:21):
Not every couple can relate to this because like I'm
a teacher and he's a lawyer. Well, I wouldn't say
you're working calendars need to be the same because you
go to school from seven to five, like whatever, you know,
But advice from us is working together families and entrepreneurs
and husbands and wives that work together. That is something
(55:41):
we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (55:42):
So it's better communication.
Speaker 3 (55:44):
And just yeah, I think to kind of like close
this podcast out because we keep going.
Speaker 2 (55:53):
But I know this podcast is long.
Speaker 3 (55:56):
Yeah, but just kind of close it out. I mean
something I think that.
Speaker 4 (56:01):
Just some encouragement for the listeners, is that an advice
that we give is just like surrender. Surrender daily is
you know, whenever you have an issue or a struggle
or whatever, like you just almost need to slap yourself
in the face and say, like, Okay, God, show me
what I did wrong, or tell me how I need
(56:21):
to overcome this or walk through this. Trust in God
even when it's hard, even when you don't know the outcome,
you know. I think that people walk through seasons, and
seasons are beneficial and the hearts are going to test
you to help you persevere and help you like build
(56:44):
endurance for the next season to come, you know, And
so don't waste those seasons. Those seasons are building you
up for what is to come. Invest in your marriage, communicate, date,
have fun together, go away together, have family time. Invest
in your family, but more so invest in your marriage
(57:08):
because that sets the platform of like how are you
raising your family and your kids see that your kids
see what is evident to them, and you can see
the relationship between mom and dad is going to build
security in them, and it's not just by words, it's
by actions and how you live. So Proverbs three, five
(57:30):
or six, trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understandings because your
own this isn't in there, but your own understandings will
most often fail you. So hope this episode was encouraging
and you got to hear a little bit deeper part
of our more than reality hearts.
Speaker 3 (57:50):
So thanks for listening, yep, and we'll see in the
next one.
Speaker 5 (57:53):
Thanks guys, all right, State scho
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