June 12, 2025 • 42 mins
We’re in the middle of a huge transition—after years in what we thought was our forever home, we’re getting ready to sell the house and step into the unknown. In this episode, we share the emotional and spiritual wrestle behind that decision, how it’s impacting our family (especially the girls), and how we’re leaning on God for what’s next.
We also open up about our differences in processing change as a couple, the weight of leadership as parents, and the peace that comes when we let go and trust God with the future. If you’re navigating big decisions or family transitions, this episode is for you.
Episode to OneLife Podcast Sermon: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WzDTikZGGHm5biOEZq7kc?si=6abcba9fc60c42c6
Welcome to "More Than Reality" with Adam and Danielle Busby, the proud parents of 6 beautiful daughters—5 of whom made history as the first set of all-female quintuplets born in the United States. After 10 incredible seasons of our hit TV show OutDaughtered on TLC, we’re taking you behind the scenes of our extraordinary life like never before. Join us as we navigate the joys and challenges of raising a family of 8, share unfiltered stories from our journey, and explore everything from parenting tips to personal growth. It’s life, love, laughter, and a whole lot of chaos—because our reality is so much more than what you’ve seen on screen.Tune in each week for a candid look into our world, where the real adventure begins when the cameras stop rolling.
We also open up about our differences in processing change as a couple, the weight of leadership as parents, and the peace that comes when we let go and trust God with the future. If you’re navigating big decisions or family transitions, this episode is for you.
Episode to OneLife Podcast Sermon: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WzDTikZGGHm5biOEZq7kc?si=6abcba9fc60c42c6
Welcome to "More Than Reality" with Adam and Danielle Busby, the proud parents of 6 beautiful daughters—5 of whom made history as the first set of all-female quintuplets born in the United States. After 10 incredible seasons of our hit TV show OutDaughtered on TLC, we’re taking you behind the scenes of our extraordinary life like never before. Join us as we navigate the joys and challenges of raising a family of 8, share unfiltered stories from our journey, and explore everything from parenting tips to personal growth. It’s life, love, laughter, and a whole lot of chaos—because our reality is so much more than what you’ve seen on screen.Tune in each week for a candid look into our world, where the real adventure begins when the cameras stop rolling.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
What's up guys?
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Welcome back?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
What episode does it babe?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
M thirty seven?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is More than Reality episode thirty seven. Boom, good job.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
My brain fog is getting better and better. Sometimes.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I was about to ask you in the intro. I'm like, no,
I'm gonna put her on the spot, and I didn't
feel like muting the mics on the intro.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
What's up?
Speaker 4 (00:53):
So? Happy birthday, Adam? His birthday was yesterday, yep.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I told Danielle. She's like, what do you want to
do for your birthday?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Saying He's like nothing, Like that's lame.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
It's rather be low key. I feel like we've just
been so we've made I guess like, no, I mean,
it's kind of been about the same. Like we've been
in like full on like house mode the past a
few weeks now, trying to like, I.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Love how you like look like you jump on a
mic and you just like I'm just gonna tell.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
All No, we've been. I mean we've been looking for
a while, seeing like what the options are, then doing stuff.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Serious conversation with you. I just need to sit you
with the mic stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Been doing stuff like around the house just to get
our house like ready to show and stuff like that,
and like all the odd jobs and stuff that just
from traveling and stuff you just don't get a chance
to do. And so ever since come back from May,
trying to tackle all these like little projects and like
stuff that like stands out like, oh, I've been meaning
(02:06):
to do that but hadn't had a chance to do it,
especially like looking down the road and pretty much the
very near future potentially like putting putting our house on
the market and stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
And WHOA, drop the bomb, Like you're just bringing it
straight out there. I mean I feel like last episode,
last episode, I remember you kind of bringing it up
and I'm like, whoa, we can't talk about it.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Yeah, we haven't shared with the family.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah, we did have a conversation and then we had
the family conversation Saturday. Was it Saturday, Faturday, Friday, Friday
or Friday and the whole family over.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
It's gotten so hard to just like do like get
together we were like every week we used to have
like family dinner with my sisters and kids, and it
used to kind of was like a routine of like
Sunday evening, like Sunday late afternoon or whatnot. We used
to kind of always get together or find a Saturday.
(03:06):
But I mean, I feel like it's getting harder as
all the kids are getting older, because they're getting more
like separated in like the sports life is like real
like as you get older, I guess it's more intense.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I don't know, but.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I mean it's just summer, so you know during summer
that's like a lot of that stuff picks up. Okay,
So it's just harder to get together and coordinate as
a family because there's like so many other things on
schedules and stuff that you have to have to navigate with.
And so you know, we finally like, hey, everybody's free
(03:44):
this one night, let's get together. And it just happens
to be like a few days before my birthday, and
we're like, well, you know, let's just go ahead and
make it like kind of like a busby busby a
birthday thing, just because like, okay, we're not.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Going to see it all on Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So so we did that. We did like cake and
I smoked a brisket swirl.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
That's which, that's your love. What you love to do
is a forty year old man smoke meat. Yeah, I
mean I feel like you need that on a shirt
or something. Forty smoke smoked meat.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, it was good. Picked up a brisket, put it
on the smoker for like seventeen hours. That tragger makes
things so simple, just because you can just set it
and go to sleep.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Set it and forget it.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Was that a commercial or just.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Make sure it's full of full of pellets. It just
makes it nice. You just wake up in the morning.
It's rout where you needed to be. Woke up in
the morning, wrapped it up, put it back on the
smoker for the rest of the day. And it was like,
I think I planned the timing almost perfectly, so that
I mean with meat and stuff. Yeah, like the cook
(05:02):
is important and the smoke is important, but like letting
the meat rest it is very important. Also, I'm so
glad you're sharing this with So I have like a
little I have like a little sleeping bag for my meat.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Oh my gosh, that's what that thing was.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Insulated sleeping bags so it can rest.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Because man, you're you really love this meat.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I mean a lot of people will stick in the
ice chest. I don't. I don't want my meat sitting
in an ice chest though, And then I don't want
my not cold.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
But yeah, because like like.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
My yetty ice chest and stuff will keep things cold
or hot. It'll just it just insulates. But like, I
don't want my ice chest smelling like meat because if
you put like ice and stuff there to eat with,
like meat flavored ice, Yeah, I don't have just like
I would consider like a throwaway ice chest for just like, hey,
(05:59):
let me rest.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I don't think you know how to throw anything away.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I mean anything that just sits in the garage.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Though.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
It's like Texas heat just gets to it after a while,
and so that's throwing it out.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
I'm looking at Gus laying outside this door, rub my belly,
Rub my belly. But the girls put a little blue
bear in his arms and it looks like he's hugging it.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
So yeah, So this weekend smoked smoked a big brisket
came out perfect, and then we celebrated birthday, and then
we did it again last night and just like out
of the blue, Like I went to the gym and
I'm like, huh, what kind of smoke today? I was
(06:43):
kind of throwing the smoker just to have it ready
for tonight. So I did some beef Dino ribs because
those are like just so simple.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Is anybody gross out about ribs besides me? Like, I
don't like the fact that it's a rib, Like it's gross.
So one, you took all the meat off the bone
and you got the brid of the bone. I was like, Okay,
now it looks like a brisket. Yeah, but it was good.
I like the brisket better.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, but I was going to give the bone to
the dog, but I just don't like them smelling.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Like well, also, we don't want bow having diarrhea all
over the house.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Bo has tummy issues.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Yeah, it takes after his moment, so we.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Have to pay attention to what he puts in his mouth.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
Gus on the other end is he thinks everything Adam
cooks is for him.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Oh my gosh, Like you do anything in the kitchen,
like go to open like it's just like a random
like ziploc bag. Like he gets in the milt and
he's like ooh, food treat and he just comes running.
He's such a mood. Yeah. Or you touch that, you
get near the microwave and he comes running.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Yeah. It's like this is for me.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, because the girls trick him and they'll like, so
do you. He he thinks that he's not allowed to.
It's almost like he's like the submissive one between him
and Bow, and so he doesn't like to eat while
Bow's eating, and so he'll just sit by his dog
bowl and wait for Bow to finish and whimper, and
(08:23):
so the girls will try to entice him to eat faster,
and so they'll they'll trick you, yeah, and they'll they'll
go up, they'll they'll put his food in his bowl,
and then they'll walk up to the counter and then
grab like a spoon and act like they're putting something
in the bowl and they'll stick it in the microwave
for like two seconds. Yeah, and then he's all excited
about it and then walk up. Dang it, I've been
(08:45):
tricked again. Yeah. All right, so you're forty three, now
what is your well would you like to see happened
this year? In forty three years? I mean, just like
in the same dame of like what we're what we've
kind of been wrestling with, wrestling with a change and stuff,
and just like getting more into that, like what this
(09:06):
change is in our life and our family potentially, like
our location, like where we end up, just to get
like settled and get into a routine and a new
location potentially and like kind of focus on like like
purpose and stuff. I mean, it's always you know, wrestling
(09:29):
with something new, Like I just I wanted I want
to get fast forward to like Okay, it's real. Now
we're here, we're settled, Like what does this new life
look like in a sense, and and get settled into
this new chapter. You know, I'm looking forward to that,
not looking forward to all the stuff that needs to
(09:53):
be done in order to get there, but you know,
I'm excited about it. It's kind of put me in
this like weird. I mean, maybe that's why I wasn't
wanting to do much for my birthday. I just feel like, man,
there's so much and like rolling around in my head
that I feel like needs to be done, Like I
don't want to just do something.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Hey, do you remember like a couple of months ago
when I came in here and I was like, hey,
I think we need to sell the house, and you're like,
get out of my office.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
We ain't selling.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
We ain't not.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Get out of my office.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Get out of it, Get out of here, a woman.
You're like working on im Like, hey, you're freaking crazy.
Yeah you are, Like you're crazy, we ain't selling this house.
And then look where we are. I mean it has
been thinking about probably trying to wrap our minds around
like probably I haven't wanted to admit it to you,
(10:50):
but it's been in my mind for a while, like
I feel like this is but like I wrestle with
that in my head of like, man, in order for
this to happen, Like I'm just not I don't look
forward to like all the stuff that needs to be
done in order to do that, and so like I'm
just like, oh nah, I'm not. I don't want to
(11:11):
think about it. Yeah, I mean it's been and then
I just kind of like block it out. But like
it's been like stirring in me that this just isn't
the place for us right now. And you know, I
did envision this house being, you know, for a while,
like our forever home, and you know, whether it was
(11:35):
like making the changes to this house that we needed
to or whatnot. Just eventually we would do get to that.
But like now it's just like, okay, I don't think
this is where yeah, so you know, accepting that, yeah,
just accepting it. I don't I don't really like change.
(11:56):
I mean, who really likes change? So I just realized
that wats like doctor.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Oh man, I like have a headache. So I was
enjoying like the dimmer light. I definitely wasn't gonna say anything.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I was like shooting past this. Do we look so
much better? All the way back in the corner.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Maybe that's why I said did you move the chairs?
Because I felt like that was like yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Yeah, I think like I don't think anyone really loves change,
but I know that, Like I feel like, if I'm honest,
like there's a difference between like discernment and like a
feeling of a step forward that I receive faster or
(12:53):
quicker than you. And I can make a decision quicker
than you on a lot of things because you analyze
and process, and then we get in a fight because
you don't answer my questions.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I just had a question. We think something through rather
than like just act on it.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Yeah, but that might take like fourteen months, and sometimes
we don't have enough time for that. I mean, our
life is so fast, don't you don't take time to
putting a focus on constantly you dwell, you dwell on it,
but you don't try to overcome the.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
What could the change look like? And how would you
get there?
Speaker 4 (13:35):
And I'm the opposite where I'm like, you know, I
work better under like I can make decisions quick, work
better under stress like high level, and I can make
like quick decisions that are normally pretty healthy decisions. But
I also feel that like in times when I so
(13:58):
like if we're talking about all these whole change and
moving and how like whatever is next, I just get
I feel like I'm I stay more in tune with
my spirit quicker in looking for where I've learned over
this last year to like really trust in my like
my the spirit to kind of like guide me and
(14:21):
lead me. And I think as I look back at
months ago when that popped in my head and it
was something that just came up to me on my
phone and it was like it started, I see that
as like a god moment, Like hey, I would have
never ever thought about us like moving or selling. But
(14:41):
like I'll get like a vision or like see somebody
like we should possibly process this or talk about this,
and so I bring it to you really imprompt two
times that you're ready to focus.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, but we found like a couple houses that would
look like really good and then like right, whatever, hold on.
I'm saying things like kind of fall through the crack
or like not fall through the crack. Things don't pan out.
It just doesn't pan out. Like like once we start
like kind of seriously processing it, all of a sudden
(15:15):
you get a call like oh they have an offer
or it's under contract, and you're like, okay.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Well listen.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
I'm bringing that up, the fact that we process and
think and discern differently because I know that there's a
lot of relatable couples that can understand that well.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I mean with me, I feel like like I try
to focus on like the here and now I'm present
because especially with like everything that happened with Grayson B,
I feel like there's so much more that I like,
more weight that falls on me that it's just it
(15:52):
adds a lot of pressure and so I'm you know,
so then it becomes you know, with me thinking about
a change I'm thinking about, Oh, but I still have
to continue to maintain all this other stuff, and so
it just seems so overwhelming to me because like I
get really overwhelmed or worked up about like, yeah, this
(16:14):
needs to be done, and then I'll end up talking
myself out of it because I'm like, well, but I
got to still keep all these other balls in there,
and it just like I get really overwhelmed, like with
all the other things that need to be done. I
don't know, it's just it falls. I feel like there's
a lot more weight on like everything that I'm doing
(16:37):
right now.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Yeah, and that's where that's where we talk about like
how we process and think differently and communicate differently, and
and how I can like how I'm a verbal processor,
so I need to like hear myself talk and talk
through things. And you're an internal processor, so you internalize
(16:59):
that the communication of not wanting to communicate is more
natural to you where it's so it's more of a
challenge for you to one process it in a fashion
that you know could lead to a decision, maybe sooner
than it needs to be or maybe not, you know,
(17:20):
but then the communication of you know, as you're getting older,
since we're talking about your birthday and we're not like
you really got to focus on like when I'm feeling
these ways or when I'm feeling these overwhelming thoughts, I
have to share it with my wife because she can
(17:42):
help with quicker discernment and decision making and those things.
But so I'm saying this to say, like the people
who are listening who can relate to our communication style's opposite.
We process differently. We can't like it's just a fight,
it's just a struggle constantly through out things. And there's
a lot of things that we do really well together
(18:03):
that we partner well, when it's parenting or discipline or
like a lot of things. When it comes to the
high level of like when you overall look at like
this umbrella of like our life, that's overwhelming, but you
just got to like dissect it and say, like, okay,
let's process and talk about this one part and not
(18:25):
think of all of it.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Like as husbands, you know, husbands, fathers, there is there
is an element of like we carry heavy things, you know,
as a man, as a provider, as the husband, Like
we carry heavy things that we don't want to burden
our wife or our family about. And that's why we
(18:46):
like kind of you know, I think it's like across
the board with like a lot of men in general.
Like you, you know, you're more stoic. You you keep
things to yourself because you don't want to overburden, you know,
with all the things that you have to be responsible
for and think about, like you don't want to I
don't want to overburden you. I don't want to put
(19:08):
that on you, you know, So I just hold it
in and and that's a and that's a bit keep
it tightly. That's a thing that's like a provider thing,
that's like you, you know, it's our responsibility to like
carry like shoulder those heavy things and those burdens, and
and you don't want to, you know, unload and and
(19:31):
so like I do it very in a sense like strategically,
like I don't want to just like unload on you
because I don't want to feel that.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
But God created woman as a helper, as a helper,
so so as the man in the role. And I
agree a lot of men are like this, feel like
they have to carry that burden. But God gave you
a helper, and God gave you a wife to carry
those things with because you can't. You can't do this
(20:04):
life alone. I can't do this life alone. And we've
been placed together to walk this life alone. So what
you carry, I carry, and what I carry, you carry.
And so it's it's getting to a level of like
how do we how do we carry it together instead
of being overwhelmed because I don't want to overwhelm you. No,
(20:24):
if you're overwhelmed, I'm gonna be overwhelmed. And we're gonna
and we're gonna work together because now we're we're a team.
We're a team to accomplish this next task together. Because
you can't make all the basic decisions for the family
and I can't either. We have to come together. And
that's why when we look at like parenting and discipline
stuff like we we know that those are all new
(20:45):
things as we approach level and so we're just like hey, hey,
like we come to each other. But why when we
look at the overarc of like the family, we may
struggle to say like yeah, but that, or yeah but that,
I don't want to tell them. I don't want to
tell her, I don't want to tell him. It's like,
(21:07):
really we're putting that on our own self when God
says you were bonded through marriage and this is your
companion and you are to do life together and that
means carrying each other's weight. So whenever, I mean, we
talked about this in our Whole Family series at church,
you know, like we we walk when when you hurt,
(21:33):
I'm gonna hurt. And when I hurt, you should be
hurting because we're gonna hurt together, and we're gonna be
happy together. We're gonna cry together, and we're gonna have
joy together and blah blah blah all the things. But
it's a it's that stigma of you know, and we've
talked about this in the past two like how we
grew up and like you know, Southern life and like
(21:55):
you men hold their lives together and they're strong, and
it's like come on, Like the the more I think,
the more vulnerable that a husband can be.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
The more the more connect the more deeper connection, which
causes more of like.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
A what do you call that word? Like Johnna blank.
But so here's an example example of what attracts a
woman to a man.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
What attracts a man to a woman.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
There's this level of what I think is there's some
form of confidence. There's a level of confidence of who
I am, who I am in Christ, who I am
in my work, who I am as a spouse, who
I am as a parent, And those things come as
a confidence because when when when you can use those
(22:59):
and say, like, I'm confident in in that, in my weakness,
I still know that I need you. And there's something
that's so attractive about that knowing that, like I can
come to you in a vulnerable state and not be
ashamed of that, and so like changing that world of
(23:20):
like how do you how do how do men get
comfortable doing that? Because men don't need men, but they
need relationships of people encouraging and lifting them up. And
that's that's community, Like we all need that. We've talked
about that a lot, but you know, it is definitely
(23:41):
a relatable topic that I think a lot of marriages
can relate to withf you know, one is a one
is B and we're not gonna do anything unless we're
a B together. And to me, that's the beautiful part
of marriage and like how do you keep that together together?
And all the things that we've walked through in the
(24:03):
almost twenty years of marriage. It's like we've always had
like this one one bond and that's been the center
of like keeping Christ in the center. And even whenever
you don't want to fight, or even when you don't
want to push forward and go, like there's like a
conviction and like this this overwhelmingness that like we know
(24:24):
that's not what God wants for us, and that is
something that you have to think outside of yourself, Like
it's not just about me and my feelings, It's about
how do I feel this way? And how are we
going to deal with it going forward? You know?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, I mean I think just a you know, a
big part of that is just getting into like the
stress and the worry of the burden of the hard things.
You know, in those times, you know, like strengthen yourself
in the Lord and and dive deep into you know,
(25:07):
like in order to be able to discern better. You know,
I think that's like our calling, you know too, to
show our wives like our strength through that. And you know,
just getting getting stronger and in the Word and in
(25:28):
your walk and in your your your prayer life through that.
You know, that's gonna that's going to bring confidence because
you know in that, you know, God has showed us
you know what he is capable of. I mean, you
look at all the stories of like things that God
has carried people through, and look in your own life
of like what God has carried me through, and like,
(25:51):
you know, the insurmountable things in our lives that we
thought were terrifying and scary and stuff that, and looking
back on it, you're like, man, that was like such
a great time, Like look what God did but in
the moment and that it was terrifying.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
And and just instead of dwelling on like the fear
and you know, the anxiety of what has to be
done and and getting caught up and just like the
worry and fear and anxiety to you know, lean into
the faith and look at the promises that God has
given us, given us you know in those times, I'll
(26:34):
never leave you or forsake you. Strengthen yourself in the Lord,
and you know who will carry you through. He's he
is like our helper. He goes before us through those times.
And you know, and nothing is too big or too
small for him. And I think a lot of times,
(26:55):
you know, you get caught up. I know I do
personally get caught up in you know, I feel like
I'm selfish. I'm being selfish by worrying about this or
asking God for something, because like this is something probably
so small and insignificant to God, like with all the
things going on in the world, all the things going
(27:15):
on with everyone else, Like why why would he care?
It's almost like I don't want to make God mad
at you for like worrying about something so insignificant. But
you know that's not what the Bible teaches. That's a lie.
(27:36):
You know, He wants you, he wants you to cast
your cares on him, he you know, and and bring
those things to him, bring him your burdens. You know,
he's close to the broken hearted and you know people
that are struggling and stuff. And I think it's just
in those times you have to remind yourself, you know, no,
(27:59):
nothing is to its insignificant for him. You know, he
wants you to draw near, He wants you to depend
on him. And I think, you know, a big part
of like our journey over the last months is just
he wants to grow like this sense of dependence on
him and to show like, look what I can do
(28:20):
for you, and you know, in these scary times, in
these tough times, and in this in these seasons of
doubt where you know, you we may feel like, oh, well,
you know we we did this and we tried this
and we failed. You know, the devil and you know,
(28:40):
the enemy wants you to doubt yourself and to doubt
like what you're capable of, and you know, and that's
just that's just a lie.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yeah, and so and it's hard to it's hard to
get yourself by yourself out of those seasons of when
you're feeling anxiety and fear and weighted with like something heavy.
And I think there's nothing more beautiful than like, you know,
(29:12):
finding someone to talk to, whether that is a good friend,
someone sound Christian, or someone at a church or a
therapist like whatever it might be, like helping process those thoughts.
Really help ease your anxiousness. And you know, God can
(29:34):
bring peace amongst any situation. And you know, just walk
through in like this past weekend at church and just
feeling an overwhelming sense of peace about this change of
moving and I just I it's been kind of like
looking at all these different options and then God just
(29:55):
like totally like hounded in and was like, you know,
because I think I've been mostly worried about like Blake
starting high school and like she's going to have to
switch schools with so much Like a change.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Is so much easier with the Quints because they always
have each other. Yeah, you know, you start a new
school or whatever, they're more than likely there's going to
be at least one sister in the class with them,
and so like they always have each other. They're like
this little wolf pack, and you know they're always going
to be able to walk through this and you know,
if they're feeling down or whatever, they can always go
(30:29):
back to their sister because they're just right there. I
mean even yesterday, like two of the girls are at
one friend's house, two of the others are at another.
Hazel was with another friend and they ended up, like
the four you know, ended up spending the night somewhere.
And then Hazel, you know, they they were out all
day and did a bunch of fun stuff and then
(30:50):
but she wasn't spending the night. And then she came
home and like I was in my office working whenever
she got home and she comes to me, She's like,
I'm bored. She's looking at her She's like, I don't
know what to do because she's used to having her
sisters there and you know that brings like this sense
of comfort and you know there's always something going on
(31:14):
with them that keeps them occupied and stuff. But then
you have Blake that is quote unquote the other one.
You know, that's set apart from them, and she's going
to be starting whether we were moving or not. She's
starting a new school next year. And that's what we've
been struggling with. It's like, you know, this move is
(31:36):
pretty inevitable. I feel like God is moving us to
a different location which we would be going to different schools,
and you know, just battling with that, you know, do
we buy a house, do we rent somewhere? Do we
rent here? Do we rent there before finding some you know,
(31:58):
a potential home of there, and then just like wrestling
with that is like, we want this process to be
as easy on Blake as possible, even though it's gonna
be hard. You know, she's gonna have to put herself
out there, she's gonna have to make new friends in
a new location, in a new school. But next year,
whether she's here and we're still in this house or
(32:19):
still in in this town or in another she's still
starting a new school. But we don't want to, you know,
if we're gonna do this, you know, we need we
would prefer to do this before school starts next year,
where she can start school in a new school.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
With all the other new kids starting school or night.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, because in high school, you know, you if it
feeds in and it funnels in all these other middle
schools around the area, and you know, that circle becomes
very much bigger, and the same thing's gonna happen whether
she's here or there. And you know, so she's gonna
be starting school with all these new kids. We don't
want to start school at one school, and she's having
(33:04):
to get used to that change, and all of a
sudden we then uproot her and put her in another
big location where she's doing that all over again. And
so we've been wrestling with that and struggling with that,
and I know she's struggling with that just because I mean,
she's a teenager. She doesn't she isn't seeing very far.
(33:26):
She's you know, thinking with her emotions for sure, and
you know, just worrying about, well, my friends are here,
and like, but Blake. You know, anybody we talked to
that has moved a lot as a child or parents
have moved them, you know, they look back on that like, oh,
well I moved, you know when I was in middle school,
or I moved multiple times whenever I was in high school,
(33:48):
and you know what, I look back on that and
everything was fine. But as a kid, like you don't
see that right now, like you. That's why we as parents,
and she just worries about her friends right now, and like, well,
my friends are right here.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
And this is what's hard as a parent is that
we don't want to upset our children. We don't want
to like you know, we don't necessarily want to take
her away from what she's built here and whatnot. However,
we as the parents have to make the overall decision
what is best for this family, and we can't base
it off of six girls' opinions. You know.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
It's like we are superior.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
God is giving them to us, and we have to
steward and show them and guide them and lead them.
And we look to the Lord to guide us, which
therefore is how we're going to lead our children.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
And it's very hard to tell your kids.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
No or this is what the change is going to
be and we're not quite sure yet, but you know,
this is what we feel like God's like telling us
to do and what change we need to make.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
And it's hard. But I did tell her about you.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Know, how I was emotional at church and like how
I just really felt this sense of peace and like
God like audibly telling me like like it's going to
be okay. And that was just like I mean, I
lost it a kind of like overwhelming sense of peace
and like those words being like spoken to me, like
like literally like someone told me in my ear.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yeah, Like I like, I know you're wrestling with that.
I know it's a burden, yeah, And then he just
like spoke that.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
Yeah, and it's and I'm telling you, like, I just
feel so much better about knowing that whatever school she's
going to go to, she will be okay. And so
I shared that with her to tell her, like, you know,
a lot of times we have to lean into our
faith to make a decision, even though it might not
be the decision we want. I said, but I'm telling
(35:45):
you that, like I'm telling you this to hopefully encourage
you to find peace too with the decisions that we're
making as a family because I have a peace about
it right now, and I know that, you know, God's
not going to lead us into destruction. And you know,
we might have trials, we might have a change, we
might have a you know, have to make new friends
(36:07):
or adjust something. But like I'm telling you, because I
have peace with this, I want to encourage you to
know that, like you are going to be okay. And
I believe that it's going to be better than what
it is right now.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
I believe that and you know, but it's it's as a.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Parent, you know, we we have to try our best
to make the hard decisions even if our kids don't
agree with us. And it's super super challenging to deal
with what the outcome of your children's responses might be.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
But as the.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
Parents and knowing that like we we are the leaders
of the family, like God is leading us to lead
these children into like teach them and to you know,
if we need to make a change for the family,
like this is not something that like you know, and
(37:04):
until the people that know about this, we tell them
like do you really think this family of eight wants
to get up and pack up everything and move? Absolutely
not but we really do feel like this is something
God has spoken to us and like is telling us like, hey,
it's it's time to I don't know what the word is,
like it's time for a new and I'm taking you
away from what you've created here in this house. This
(37:27):
isn't the forever place for y'all, and we have something
new and we don't we we are literally leaning in
on faith because like we don't know what that is.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
We have some things that we're working on, but.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Like it is a very scary, very scary place to
like sell everything, sell your house, move somewheres, not knowing
if we should rent or buy, and we're just looking
at all options and just praying like, Okay, God, if
this is what it is, then we're gonna trust that
this will pan out.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
And that's what we're doing.
Speaker 4 (37:59):
And it's hard to be it's hard to have it
together and to be mom and dad to still do
this with a bunch of little girls, and you know,
they have questions of all these things and it's it's
very difficult, but we're trying to prepare them and bring
them in on. You know, this is hard. We don't
(38:21):
necessarily want to do this, but we really feel like,
you know, God wants this for our family, and we're
just going to continue to follow that path, whatever it
might be. We don't know what's next, and we have
to accept that, and we believe that if we follow
the path that God leads us down, and then that's
the path that we will lead to, you know, the
(38:45):
beauty of more than we could ever imagine. And we've
walked that path a little bit in our life and
have to remind ourselves of our own testimony of being
able to hold no, you're not going to make it. No,
you can't have these children know they're not going to survive,
to just say hold on, like our God is bigger,
and like we're gonna we're gonna take a chance and
(39:06):
step into our faith and say we're gonna try. Yeah,
and you know the outcome has been beautiful.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Yeah. Like our our church that we go to here
in Houston, it's One Life Church Houston. They have a
really good series going on right now that's been Uh,
it's been such a blessing to us because a lot
of the things, a lot of the feelings and thoughts
and direction. I feel like that we've been wrestling with
(39:37):
ourselves it's been almost like confirmation like of God, just
like hey, you know, and like every message over the
last few weeks has just been like such a blessing
to us because it's like, man, this is like exactly
what you know, we've been wrestling with the things that
we've been struggling with and you know, just worrying about.
(40:02):
You know, the series right now is called like Family Legacy,
and just like what that looks like. You know, we've
been you know, just super blessed by you know, this
series that's going on. And I mean we can possibly
like link it in the show notes or whatever because
they put it in podcast form. So if you guys,
are you know, thinking about stuff like this along those
(40:24):
same lines as like what we're dealing with, like worrying
about like your kids and your marriage and like what
you know.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
This family, like how do you how do you how
do you have like a.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
A strong, strong, and yeah family and you know that
whole structure and you know the things that like the
Bible teaches about families and like what we should be
focused on most. It's just been really good. It's been
really good for us, and good confirmation for the thoughts
and the the things that we've been wrestling with, and
(40:59):
so yeah, yeah, it's been it's been really good. I
feel like God's just been working and moving and speaking
to us and confirming some of the things that we've
been wrestling with ourselves, and it's just been perfect timing.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
Really, So yeah, I mean happy birthday. Adam just went
on a little good chit chat about family and change
and how we deal with you know, making decisions and
you know, sometimes we can make quick decisions, sometimes we
can need time to process and think about it, but
(41:38):
ultimately we want to lean into our faith and pray
and ask God to like reveal, you know, what is
best for us and how do we how do we
follow that journey? And so hope this spoke to some
of you and thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah, this is episode thirty seven of More Than Reality podcast.
Thank you guys for sticking around and just like hearing
our thoughts and hopefully you know you picked up something
that you know spoke to you through this and helping
you through whatever you're dealing with right now. So thank
you guys for tuning in and we will see you
(42:17):
in the next one. All right, We love you guys
Speaker 4 (42:34):
Much.
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
What's up guys?
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Welcome back?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
What episode does it babe?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
M thirty seven?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is More than Reality episode thirty seven. Boom, good job.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
My brain fog is getting better and better. Sometimes.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I was about to ask you in the intro. I'm like, no,
I'm gonna put her on the spot, and I didn't
feel like muting the mics on the intro.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
What's up?
Speaker 4 (00:53):
So? Happy birthday, Adam? His birthday was yesterday, yep.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I told Danielle. She's like, what do you want to
do for your birthday?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Saying He's like nothing, Like that's lame.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
It's rather be low key. I feel like we've just
been so we've made I guess like, no, I mean,
it's kind of been about the same. Like we've been
in like full on like house mode the past a
few weeks now, trying to like, I.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Love how you like look like you jump on a
mic and you just like I'm just gonna tell.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
All No, we've been. I mean we've been looking for
a while, seeing like what the options are, then doing stuff.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Serious conversation with you. I just need to sit you
with the mic stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Been doing stuff like around the house just to get
our house like ready to show and stuff like that,
and like all the odd jobs and stuff that just
from traveling and stuff you just don't get a chance
to do. And so ever since come back from May,
trying to tackle all these like little projects and like
stuff that like stands out like, oh, I've been meaning
(02:06):
to do that but hadn't had a chance to do it,
especially like looking down the road and pretty much the
very near future potentially like putting putting our house on
the market and stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
And WHOA, drop the bomb, Like you're just bringing it
straight out there. I mean I feel like last episode,
last episode, I remember you kind of bringing it up
and I'm like, whoa, we can't talk about it.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Yeah, we haven't shared with the family.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah, we did have a conversation and then we had
the family conversation Saturday. Was it Saturday, Faturday, Friday, Friday
or Friday and the whole family over.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
It's gotten so hard to just like do like get
together we were like every week we used to have
like family dinner with my sisters and kids, and it
used to kind of was like a routine of like
Sunday evening, like Sunday late afternoon or whatnot. We used
to kind of always get together or find a Saturday.
(03:06):
But I mean, I feel like it's getting harder as
all the kids are getting older, because they're getting more
like separated in like the sports life is like real
like as you get older, I guess it's more intense.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I don't know, but.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I mean it's just summer, so you know during summer
that's like a lot of that stuff picks up. Okay,
So it's just harder to get together and coordinate as
a family because there's like so many other things on
schedules and stuff that you have to have to navigate with.
And so you know, we finally like, hey, everybody's free
(03:44):
this one night, let's get together. And it just happens
to be like a few days before my birthday, and
we're like, well, you know, let's just go ahead and
make it like kind of like a busby busby a
birthday thing, just because like, okay, we're not.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Going to see it all on Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So so we did that. We did like cake and
I smoked a brisket swirl.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
That's which, that's your love. What you love to do
is a forty year old man smoke meat. Yeah, I
mean I feel like you need that on a shirt
or something. Forty smoke smoked meat.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, it was good. Picked up a brisket, put it
on the smoker for like seventeen hours. That tragger makes
things so simple, just because you can just set it
and go to sleep.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Set it and forget it.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Was that a commercial or just.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Make sure it's full of full of pellets. It just
makes it nice. You just wake up in the morning.
It's rout where you needed to be. Woke up in
the morning, wrapped it up, put it back on the
smoker for the rest of the day. And it was like,
I think I planned the timing almost perfectly, so that
I mean with meat and stuff. Yeah, like the cook
(05:02):
is important and the smoke is important, but like letting
the meat rest it is very important. Also, I'm so
glad you're sharing this with So I have like a
little I have like a little sleeping bag for my meat.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Oh my gosh, that's what that thing was.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Insulated sleeping bags so it can rest.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Because man, you're you really love this meat.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I mean a lot of people will stick in the
ice chest. I don't. I don't want my meat sitting
in an ice chest though, And then I don't want
my not cold.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
But yeah, because like like.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
My yetty ice chest and stuff will keep things cold
or hot. It'll just it just insulates. But like, I
don't want my ice chest smelling like meat because if
you put like ice and stuff there to eat with,
like meat flavored ice, Yeah, I don't have just like
I would consider like a throwaway ice chest for just like, hey,
(05:59):
let me rest.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I don't think you know how to throw anything away.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I mean anything that just sits in the garage.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Though.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
It's like Texas heat just gets to it after a while,
and so that's throwing it out.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
I'm looking at Gus laying outside this door, rub my belly,
Rub my belly. But the girls put a little blue
bear in his arms and it looks like he's hugging it.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
So yeah, So this weekend smoked smoked a big brisket
came out perfect, and then we celebrated birthday, and then
we did it again last night and just like out
of the blue, Like I went to the gym and
I'm like, huh, what kind of smoke today? I was
(06:43):
kind of throwing the smoker just to have it ready
for tonight. So I did some beef Dino ribs because
those are like just so simple.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Is anybody gross out about ribs besides me? Like, I
don't like the fact that it's a rib, Like it's gross.
So one, you took all the meat off the bone
and you got the brid of the bone. I was like, Okay,
now it looks like a brisket. Yeah, but it was good.
I like the brisket better.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, but I was going to give the bone to
the dog, but I just don't like them smelling.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Like well, also, we don't want bow having diarrhea all
over the house.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Bo has tummy issues.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Yeah, it takes after his moment, so we.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Have to pay attention to what he puts in his mouth.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
Gus on the other end is he thinks everything Adam
cooks is for him.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Oh my gosh, Like you do anything in the kitchen,
like go to open like it's just like a random
like ziploc bag. Like he gets in the milt and
he's like ooh, food treat and he just comes running.
He's such a mood. Yeah. Or you touch that, you
get near the microwave and he comes running.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Yeah. It's like this is for me.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, because the girls trick him and they'll like, so
do you. He he thinks that he's not allowed to.
It's almost like he's like the submissive one between him
and Bow, and so he doesn't like to eat while
Bow's eating, and so he'll just sit by his dog
bowl and wait for Bow to finish and whimper, and
(08:23):
so the girls will try to entice him to eat faster,
and so they'll they'll trick you, yeah, and they'll they'll
go up, they'll they'll put his food in his bowl,
and then they'll walk up to the counter and then
grab like a spoon and act like they're putting something
in the bowl and they'll stick it in the microwave
for like two seconds. Yeah, and then he's all excited
about it and then walk up. Dang it, I've been
(08:45):
tricked again. Yeah. All right, so you're forty three, now
what is your well would you like to see happened
this year? In forty three years? I mean, just like
in the same dame of like what we're what we've
kind of been wrestling with, wrestling with a change and stuff,
and just like getting more into that, like what this
(09:06):
change is in our life and our family potentially, like
our location, like where we end up, just to get
like settled and get into a routine and a new
location potentially and like kind of focus on like like
purpose and stuff. I mean, it's always you know, wrestling
(09:29):
with something new, Like I just I wanted I want
to get fast forward to like Okay, it's real. Now
we're here, we're settled, Like what does this new life
look like in a sense, and and get settled into
this new chapter. You know, I'm looking forward to that,
not looking forward to all the stuff that needs to
(09:53):
be done in order to get there, but you know,
I'm excited about it. It's kind of put me in
this like weird. I mean, maybe that's why I wasn't
wanting to do much for my birthday. I just feel like, man,
there's so much and like rolling around in my head
that I feel like needs to be done, Like I
don't want to just do something.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Hey, do you remember like a couple of months ago
when I came in here and I was like, hey,
I think we need to sell the house, and you're like,
get out of my office.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
We ain't selling.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
We ain't not.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Get out of my office.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Get out of it, Get out of here, a woman.
You're like working on im Like, hey, you're freaking crazy.
Yeah you are, Like you're crazy, we ain't selling this house.
And then look where we are. I mean it has
been thinking about probably trying to wrap our minds around
like probably I haven't wanted to admit it to you,
(10:50):
but it's been in my mind for a while, like
I feel like this is but like I wrestle with
that in my head of like, man, in order for
this to happen, Like I'm just not I don't look
forward to like all the stuff that needs to be
done in order to do that, and so like I'm
just like, oh nah, I'm not. I don't want to
(11:11):
think about it. Yeah, I mean it's been and then
I just kind of like block it out. But like
it's been like stirring in me that this just isn't
the place for us right now. And you know, I
did envision this house being, you know, for a while,
like our forever home, and you know, whether it was
(11:35):
like making the changes to this house that we needed
to or whatnot. Just eventually we would do get to that.
But like now it's just like, okay, I don't think
this is where yeah, so you know, accepting that, yeah,
just accepting it. I don't I don't really like change.
(11:56):
I mean, who really likes change? So I just realized
that wats like doctor.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Oh man, I like have a headache. So I was
enjoying like the dimmer light. I definitely wasn't gonna say anything.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I was like shooting past this. Do we look so
much better? All the way back in the corner.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Maybe that's why I said did you move the chairs?
Because I felt like that was like yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Yeah, I think like I don't think anyone really loves change,
but I know that, Like I feel like, if I'm honest,
like there's a difference between like discernment and like a
feeling of a step forward that I receive faster or
(12:53):
quicker than you. And I can make a decision quicker
than you on a lot of things because you analyze
and process, and then we get in a fight because
you don't answer my questions.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I just had a question. We think something through rather
than like just act on it.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Yeah, but that might take like fourteen months, and sometimes
we don't have enough time for that. I mean, our
life is so fast, don't you don't take time to
putting a focus on constantly you dwell, you dwell on it,
but you don't try to overcome the.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
What could the change look like? And how would you
get there?
Speaker 4 (13:35):
And I'm the opposite where I'm like, you know, I
work better under like I can make decisions quick, work
better under stress like high level, and I can make
like quick decisions that are normally pretty healthy decisions. But
I also feel that like in times when I so
(13:58):
like if we're talking about all these whole change and
moving and how like whatever is next, I just get
I feel like I'm I stay more in tune with
my spirit quicker in looking for where I've learned over
this last year to like really trust in my like
my the spirit to kind of like guide me and
(14:21):
lead me. And I think as I look back at
months ago when that popped in my head and it
was something that just came up to me on my
phone and it was like it started, I see that
as like a god moment, Like hey, I would have
never ever thought about us like moving or selling. But
(14:41):
like I'll get like a vision or like see somebody
like we should possibly process this or talk about this,
and so I bring it to you really imprompt two
times that you're ready to focus.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, but we found like a couple houses that would
look like really good and then like right, whatever, hold on.
I'm saying things like kind of fall through the crack
or like not fall through the crack. Things don't pan out.
It just doesn't pan out. Like like once we start
like kind of seriously processing it, all of a sudden
(15:15):
you get a call like oh they have an offer
or it's under contract, and you're like, okay.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Well listen.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
I'm bringing that up, the fact that we process and
think and discern differently because I know that there's a
lot of relatable couples that can understand that well.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I mean with me, I feel like like I try
to focus on like the here and now I'm present
because especially with like everything that happened with Grayson B,
I feel like there's so much more that I like,
more weight that falls on me that it's just it
(15:52):
adds a lot of pressure and so I'm you know,
so then it becomes you know, with me thinking about
a change I'm thinking about, Oh, but I still have
to continue to maintain all this other stuff, and so
it just seems so overwhelming to me because like I
get really overwhelmed or worked up about like, yeah, this
(16:14):
needs to be done, and then I'll end up talking
myself out of it because I'm like, well, but I
got to still keep all these other balls in there,
and it just like I get really overwhelmed, like with
all the other things that need to be done. I
don't know, it's just it falls. I feel like there's
a lot more weight on like everything that I'm doing
(16:37):
right now.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Yeah, and that's where that's where we talk about like
how we process and think differently and communicate differently, and
and how I can like how I'm a verbal processor,
so I need to like hear myself talk and talk
through things. And you're an internal processor, so you internalize
(16:59):
that the communication of not wanting to communicate is more
natural to you where it's so it's more of a
challenge for you to one process it in a fashion
that you know could lead to a decision, maybe sooner
than it needs to be or maybe not, you know,
(17:20):
but then the communication of you know, as you're getting older,
since we're talking about your birthday and we're not like
you really got to focus on like when I'm feeling
these ways or when I'm feeling these overwhelming thoughts, I
have to share it with my wife because she can
(17:42):
help with quicker discernment and decision making and those things.
But so I'm saying this to say, like the people
who are listening who can relate to our communication style's opposite.
We process differently. We can't like it's just a fight,
it's just a struggle constantly through out things. And there's
a lot of things that we do really well together
(18:03):
that we partner well, when it's parenting or discipline or
like a lot of things. When it comes to the
high level of like when you overall look at like
this umbrella of like our life, that's overwhelming, but you
just got to like dissect it and say, like, okay,
let's process and talk about this one part and not
(18:25):
think of all of it.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Like as husbands, you know, husbands, fathers, there is there
is an element of like we carry heavy things, you know,
as a man, as a provider, as the husband, Like
we carry heavy things that we don't want to burden
our wife or our family about. And that's why we
(18:46):
like kind of you know, I think it's like across
the board with like a lot of men in general.
Like you, you know, you're more stoic. You you keep
things to yourself because you don't want to overburden, you know,
with all the things that you have to be responsible
for and think about, like you don't want to I
don't want to overburden you. I don't want to put
(19:08):
that on you, you know, So I just hold it
in and and that's a and that's a bit keep
it tightly. That's a thing that's like a provider thing,
that's like you, you know, it's our responsibility to like
carry like shoulder those heavy things and those burdens, and
and you don't want to, you know, unload and and
(19:31):
so like I do it very in a sense like strategically,
like I don't want to just like unload on you
because I don't want to feel that.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
But God created woman as a helper, as a helper,
so so as the man in the role. And I
agree a lot of men are like this, feel like
they have to carry that burden. But God gave you
a helper, and God gave you a wife to carry
those things with because you can't. You can't do this
(20:04):
life alone. I can't do this life alone. And we've
been placed together to walk this life alone. So what
you carry, I carry, and what I carry, you carry.
And so it's it's getting to a level of like
how do we how do we carry it together instead
of being overwhelmed because I don't want to overwhelm you. No,
(20:24):
if you're overwhelmed, I'm gonna be overwhelmed. And we're gonna
and we're gonna work together because now we're we're a team.
We're a team to accomplish this next task together. Because
you can't make all the basic decisions for the family
and I can't either. We have to come together. And
that's why when we look at like parenting and discipline
stuff like we we know that those are all new
(20:45):
things as we approach level and so we're just like hey, hey,
like we come to each other. But why when we
look at the overarc of like the family, we may
struggle to say like yeah, but that, or yeah but that,
I don't want to tell them. I don't want to
tell her, I don't want to tell him. It's like,
(21:07):
really we're putting that on our own self when God
says you were bonded through marriage and this is your
companion and you are to do life together and that
means carrying each other's weight. So whenever, I mean, we
talked about this in our Whole Family series at church,
you know, like we we walk when when you hurt,
(21:33):
I'm gonna hurt. And when I hurt, you should be
hurting because we're gonna hurt together, and we're gonna be
happy together. We're gonna cry together, and we're gonna have
joy together and blah blah blah all the things. But
it's a it's that stigma of you know, and we've
talked about this in the past two like how we
grew up and like you know, Southern life and like
(21:55):
you men hold their lives together and they're strong, and
it's like come on, Like the the more I think,
the more vulnerable that a husband can be.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
The more the more connect the more deeper connection, which
causes more of like.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
A what do you call that word? Like Johnna blank.
But so here's an example example of what attracts a
woman to a man.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
What attracts a man to a woman.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
There's this level of what I think is there's some
form of confidence. There's a level of confidence of who
I am, who I am in Christ, who I am
in my work, who I am as a spouse, who
I am as a parent, And those things come as
a confidence because when when when you can use those
(22:59):
and say, like, I'm confident in in that, in my weakness,
I still know that I need you. And there's something
that's so attractive about that knowing that, like I can
come to you in a vulnerable state and not be
ashamed of that, and so like changing that world of
(23:20):
like how do you how do how do men get
comfortable doing that? Because men don't need men, but they
need relationships of people encouraging and lifting them up. And
that's that's community, Like we all need that. We've talked
about that a lot, but you know, it is definitely
(23:41):
a relatable topic that I think a lot of marriages
can relate to withf you know, one is a one
is B and we're not gonna do anything unless we're
a B together. And to me, that's the beautiful part
of marriage and like how do you keep that together together?
And all the things that we've walked through in the
(24:03):
almost twenty years of marriage. It's like we've always had
like this one one bond and that's been the center
of like keeping Christ in the center. And even whenever
you don't want to fight, or even when you don't
want to push forward and go, like there's like a
conviction and like this this overwhelmingness that like we know
(24:24):
that's not what God wants for us, and that is
something that you have to think outside of yourself, Like
it's not just about me and my feelings, It's about
how do I feel this way? And how are we
going to deal with it going forward? You know?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, I mean I think just a you know, a
big part of that is just getting into like the
stress and the worry of the burden of the hard things.
You know, in those times, you know, like strengthen yourself
in the Lord and and dive deep into you know,
(25:07):
like in order to be able to discern better. You know,
I think that's like our calling, you know too, to
show our wives like our strength through that. And you know,
just getting getting stronger and in the Word and in
(25:28):
your walk and in your your your prayer life through that.
You know, that's gonna that's going to bring confidence because
you know in that, you know, God has showed us
you know what he is capable of. I mean, you
look at all the stories of like things that God
has carried people through, and look in your own life
of like what God has carried me through, and like,
(25:51):
you know, the insurmountable things in our lives that we
thought were terrifying and scary and stuff that, and looking
back on it, you're like, man, that was like such
a great time, Like look what God did but in
the moment and that it was terrifying.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
And and just instead of dwelling on like the fear
and you know, the anxiety of what has to be
done and and getting caught up and just like the
worry and fear and anxiety to you know, lean into
the faith and look at the promises that God has
given us, given us you know in those times, I'll
(26:34):
never leave you or forsake you. Strengthen yourself in the Lord,
and you know who will carry you through. He's he
is like our helper. He goes before us through those times.
And you know, and nothing is too big or too
small for him. And I think a lot of times,
(26:55):
you know, you get caught up. I know I do
personally get caught up in you know, I feel like
I'm selfish. I'm being selfish by worrying about this or
asking God for something, because like this is something probably
so small and insignificant to God, like with all the
things going on in the world, all the things going
(27:15):
on with everyone else, Like why why would he care?
It's almost like I don't want to make God mad
at you for like worrying about something so insignificant. But
you know that's not what the Bible teaches. That's a lie.
(27:36):
You know, He wants you, he wants you to cast
your cares on him, he you know, and and bring
those things to him, bring him your burdens. You know,
he's close to the broken hearted and you know people
that are struggling and stuff. And I think it's just
in those times you have to remind yourself, you know, no,
(27:59):
nothing is to its insignificant for him. You know, he
wants you to draw near, He wants you to depend
on him. And I think, you know, a big part
of like our journey over the last months is just
he wants to grow like this sense of dependence on
him and to show like, look what I can do
(28:20):
for you, and you know, in these scary times, in
these tough times, and in this in these seasons of
doubt where you know, you we may feel like, oh, well,
you know we we did this and we tried this
and we failed. You know, the devil and you know,
(28:40):
the enemy wants you to doubt yourself and to doubt
like what you're capable of, and you know, and that's
just that's just a lie.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yeah, and so and it's hard to it's hard to
get yourself by yourself out of those seasons of when
you're feeling anxiety and fear and weighted with like something heavy.
And I think there's nothing more beautiful than like, you know,
(29:12):
finding someone to talk to, whether that is a good friend,
someone sound Christian, or someone at a church or a
therapist like whatever it might be, like helping process those thoughts.
Really help ease your anxiousness. And you know, God can
(29:34):
bring peace amongst any situation. And you know, just walk
through in like this past weekend at church and just
feeling an overwhelming sense of peace about this change of
moving and I just I it's been kind of like
looking at all these different options and then God just
(29:55):
like totally like hounded in and was like, you know,
because I think I've been mostly worried about like Blake
starting high school and like she's going to have to
switch schools with so much Like a change.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Is so much easier with the Quints because they always
have each other. Yeah, you know, you start a new
school or whatever, they're more than likely there's going to
be at least one sister in the class with them,
and so like they always have each other. They're like
this little wolf pack, and you know they're always going
to be able to walk through this and you know,
if they're feeling down or whatever, they can always go
(30:29):
back to their sister because they're just right there. I
mean even yesterday, like two of the girls are at
one friend's house, two of the others are at another.
Hazel was with another friend and they ended up, like
the four you know, ended up spending the night somewhere.
And then Hazel, you know, they they were out all
day and did a bunch of fun stuff and then
(30:50):
but she wasn't spending the night. And then she came
home and like I was in my office working whenever
she got home and she comes to me, She's like,
I'm bored. She's looking at her She's like, I don't
know what to do because she's used to having her
sisters there and you know that brings like this sense
of comfort and you know there's always something going on
(31:14):
with them that keeps them occupied and stuff. But then
you have Blake that is quote unquote the other one.
You know, that's set apart from them, and she's going
to be starting whether we were moving or not. She's
starting a new school next year. And that's what we've
been struggling with. It's like, you know, this move is
(31:36):
pretty inevitable. I feel like God is moving us to
a different location which we would be going to different schools,
and you know, just battling with that, you know, do
we buy a house, do we rent somewhere? Do we
rent here? Do we rent there before finding some you know,
(31:58):
a potential home of there, and then just like wrestling
with that is like, we want this process to be
as easy on Blake as possible, even though it's gonna
be hard. You know, she's gonna have to put herself
out there, she's gonna have to make new friends in
a new location, in a new school. But next year,
whether she's here and we're still in this house or
(32:19):
still in in this town or in another she's still
starting a new school. But we don't want to, you know,
if we're gonna do this, you know, we need we
would prefer to do this before school starts next year,
where she can start school in a new school.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
With all the other new kids starting school or night.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, because in high school, you know, you if it
feeds in and it funnels in all these other middle
schools around the area, and you know, that circle becomes
very much bigger, and the same thing's gonna happen whether
she's here or there. And you know, so she's gonna
be starting school with all these new kids. We don't
want to start school at one school, and she's having
(33:04):
to get used to that change, and all of a
sudden we then uproot her and put her in another
big location where she's doing that all over again. And
so we've been wrestling with that and struggling with that,
and I know she's struggling with that just because I mean,
she's a teenager. She doesn't she isn't seeing very far.
(33:26):
She's you know, thinking with her emotions for sure, and
you know, just worrying about, well, my friends are here,
and like, but Blake. You know, anybody we talked to
that has moved a lot as a child or parents
have moved them, you know, they look back on that like, oh,
well I moved, you know when I was in middle school,
or I moved multiple times whenever I was in high school,
(33:48):
and you know what, I look back on that and
everything was fine. But as a kid, like you don't
see that right now, like you. That's why we as parents,
and she just worries about her friends right now, and like, well,
my friends are right here.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
And this is what's hard as a parent is that
we don't want to upset our children. We don't want
to like you know, we don't necessarily want to take
her away from what she's built here and whatnot. However,
we as the parents have to make the overall decision
what is best for this family, and we can't base
it off of six girls' opinions. You know.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
It's like we are superior.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
God is giving them to us, and we have to
steward and show them and guide them and lead them.
And we look to the Lord to guide us, which
therefore is how we're going to lead our children.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
And it's very hard to tell your kids.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
No or this is what the change is going to
be and we're not quite sure yet, but you know,
this is what we feel like God's like telling us
to do and what change we need to make.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
And it's hard. But I did tell her about you.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Know, how I was emotional at church and like how
I just really felt this sense of peace and like
God like audibly telling me like like it's going to
be okay. And that was just like I mean, I
lost it a kind of like overwhelming sense of peace
and like those words being like spoken to me, like
like literally like someone told me in my ear.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yeah, Like I like, I know you're wrestling with that.
I know it's a burden, yeah, And then he just
like spoke that.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
Yeah, and it's and I'm telling you, like, I just
feel so much better about knowing that whatever school she's
going to go to, she will be okay. And so
I shared that with her to tell her, like, you know,
a lot of times we have to lean into our
faith to make a decision, even though it might not
be the decision we want. I said, but I'm telling
(35:45):
you that, like I'm telling you this to hopefully encourage
you to find peace too with the decisions that we're
making as a family because I have a peace about
it right now, and I know that, you know, God's
not going to lead us into destruction. And you know,
we might have trials, we might have a change, we
might have a you know, have to make new friends
(36:07):
or adjust something. But like I'm telling you, because I
have peace with this, I want to encourage you to
know that, like you are going to be okay. And
I believe that it's going to be better than what
it is right now.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
I believe that and you know, but it's it's as a.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Parent, you know, we we have to try our best
to make the hard decisions even if our kids don't
agree with us. And it's super super challenging to deal
with what the outcome of your children's responses might be.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
But as the.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
Parents and knowing that like we we are the leaders
of the family, like God is leading us to lead
these children into like teach them and to you know,
if we need to make a change for the family,
like this is not something that like you know, and
(37:04):
until the people that know about this, we tell them
like do you really think this family of eight wants
to get up and pack up everything and move? Absolutely
not but we really do feel like this is something
God has spoken to us and like is telling us like, hey,
it's it's time to I don't know what the word is,
like it's time for a new and I'm taking you
away from what you've created here in this house. This
(37:27):
isn't the forever place for y'all, and we have something
new and we don't we we are literally leaning in
on faith because like we don't know what that is.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
We have some things that we're working on, but.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Like it is a very scary, very scary place to
like sell everything, sell your house, move somewheres, not knowing
if we should rent or buy, and we're just looking
at all options and just praying like, Okay, God, if
this is what it is, then we're gonna trust that
this will pan out.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
And that's what we're doing.
Speaker 4 (37:59):
And it's hard to be it's hard to have it
together and to be mom and dad to still do
this with a bunch of little girls, and you know,
they have questions of all these things and it's it's
very difficult, but we're trying to prepare them and bring
them in on. You know, this is hard. We don't
(38:21):
necessarily want to do this, but we really feel like,
you know, God wants this for our family, and we're
just going to continue to follow that path, whatever it
might be. We don't know what's next, and we have
to accept that, and we believe that if we follow
the path that God leads us down, and then that's
the path that we will lead to, you know, the
(38:45):
beauty of more than we could ever imagine. And we've
walked that path a little bit in our life and
have to remind ourselves of our own testimony of being
able to hold no, you're not going to make it. No,
you can't have these children know they're not going to survive,
to just say hold on, like our God is bigger,
and like we're gonna we're gonna take a chance and
(39:06):
step into our faith and say we're gonna try. Yeah,
and you know the outcome has been beautiful.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Yeah. Like our our church that we go to here
in Houston, it's One Life Church Houston. They have a
really good series going on right now that's been Uh,
it's been such a blessing to us because a lot
of the things, a lot of the feelings and thoughts
and direction. I feel like that we've been wrestling with
(39:37):
ourselves it's been almost like confirmation like of God, just
like hey, you know, and like every message over the
last few weeks has just been like such a blessing
to us because it's like, man, this is like exactly
what you know, we've been wrestling with the things that
we've been struggling with and you know, just worrying about.
(40:02):
You know, the series right now is called like Family Legacy,
and just like what that looks like. You know, we've
been you know, just super blessed by you know, this
series that's going on. And I mean we can possibly
like link it in the show notes or whatever because
they put it in podcast form. So if you guys,
are you know, thinking about stuff like this along those
(40:24):
same lines as like what we're dealing with, like worrying
about like your kids and your marriage and like what
you know.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
This family, like how do you how do you how
do you have like a.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
A strong, strong, and yeah family and you know that
whole structure and you know the things that like the
Bible teaches about families and like what we should be
focused on most. It's just been really good. It's been
really good for us, and good confirmation for the thoughts
and the the things that we've been wrestling with, and
(40:59):
so yeah, yeah, it's been it's been really good. I
feel like God's just been working and moving and speaking
to us and confirming some of the things that we've
been wrestling with ourselves, and it's just been perfect timing.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
Really, So yeah, I mean happy birthday. Adam just went
on a little good chit chat about family and change
and how we deal with you know, making decisions and
you know, sometimes we can make quick decisions, sometimes we
can need time to process and think about it, but
(41:38):
ultimately we want to lean into our faith and pray
and ask God to like reveal, you know, what is
best for us and how do we how do we
follow that journey? And so hope this spoke to some
of you and thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah, this is episode thirty seven of More Than Reality podcast.
Thank you guys for sticking around and just like hearing
our thoughts and hopefully you know you picked up something
that you know spoke to you through this and helping
you through whatever you're dealing with right now. So thank
you guys for tuning in and we will see you
(42:17):
in the next one. All right, We love you guys
Speaker 4 (42:34):
Much.
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