June 26, 2025 • 52 mins
In this heartfelt episode, Adam and Danielle open up about their daughter Parker’s early battle with anxiety — and the small, intentional parenting steps that helped her grow into the confident, joyful girl she is today. From emotional milestones to practical strategies, this episode is packed with honest reflections, parenting tools, and encouragement for anyone navigating childhood anxiety.
Plus, Danielle shares takeaways from her recent trip to a women’s summit in California, and Adam talks about finally making the switch to a new gym (and the unforgettable smell of indoor pools 🤣)
. ⸻
🛒 Sponsored by:
🥩 Good Ranchers – 100% American meat, delivered to your door. Use code BUSBY for $40 off + free meat for life at goodranchers.com
🛌 Cozy Earth – Transform your 5 to 9 with the world’s softest sheets and loungewear. Use code MORETHAN for 40% off at cozyearth.com
⸻
💬 Topics Covered:
• How we recognized Parker’s anxiety as a toddler
• Simple parenting tools that helped her break through
• Why therapy wasn’t just for Parker — it was for us, too
• Encouraging your child without focusing on performance
• Finding confidence through activities like dance
• Why every kid needs to hear “You don’t have to earn my love”
⸻
🎧 If you’ve ever struggled to know how to help your child face their fears, this one’s for you.
Welcome to "More Than Reality" with Adam and Danielle Busby, the proud parents of 6 beautiful daughters—5 of whom made history as the first set of all-female quintuplets born in the United States. After 10 incredible seasons of our hit TV show OutDaughtered on TLC, we’re taking you behind the scenes of our extraordinary life like never before. Join us as we navigate the joys and challenges of raising a family of 8, share unfiltered stories from our journey, and explore everything from parenting tips to personal growth. It’s life, love, laughter, and a whole lot of chaos—because our reality is so much more than what you’ve seen on screen.Tune in each week for a candid look into our world, where the real adventure begins when the cameras stop rolling.
Plus, Danielle shares takeaways from her recent trip to a women’s summit in California, and Adam talks about finally making the switch to a new gym (and the unforgettable smell of indoor pools 🤣)
. ⸻
🛒 Sponsored by:
🥩 Good Ranchers – 100% American meat, delivered to your door. Use code BUSBY for $40 off + free meat for life at goodranchers.com
🛌 Cozy Earth – Transform your 5 to 9 with the world’s softest sheets and loungewear. Use code MORETHAN for 40% off at cozyearth.com
⸻
💬 Topics Covered:
• How we recognized Parker’s anxiety as a toddler
• Simple parenting tools that helped her break through
• Why therapy wasn’t just for Parker — it was for us, too
• Encouraging your child without focusing on performance
• Finding confidence through activities like dance
• Why every kid needs to hear “You don’t have to earn my love”
⸻
🎧 If you’ve ever struggled to know how to help your child face their fears, this one’s for you.
Welcome to "More Than Reality" with Adam and Danielle Busby, the proud parents of 6 beautiful daughters—5 of whom made history as the first set of all-female quintuplets born in the United States. After 10 incredible seasons of our hit TV show OutDaughtered on TLC, we’re taking you behind the scenes of our extraordinary life like never before. Join us as we navigate the joys and challenges of raising a family of 8, share unfiltered stories from our journey, and explore everything from parenting tips to personal growth. It’s life, love, laughter, and a whole lot of chaos—because our reality is so much more than what you’ve seen on screen.Tune in each week for a candid look into our world, where the real adventure begins when the cameras stop rolling.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
A lot of people have been asking about Parker because
we went down that road with Parker where we started
noticing at a very young age she had anxiety. Whenever
Parker was like little, that kid was glued to my side, doggy.
It is so cute, like she was just always right
there and I would look down and she's just looking
(00:20):
at me and just smiling.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Welcome to More Than Reality Podcast with Adam and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
And this is episode thirty nine.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Nice romas to my age.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
There we go.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We're getting out there. We're like middle aged now in
podcast world. Kids are home summertime. You never know when
they're going to be in or out. Yeah, we're shooting
this light into the evening and so kids are just
like we just had to write before we started, we
had to like yell because they were like all ye
when they screaming and play in upstairs, they.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Just came downstairs with their face masks on.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
That's what they're doing.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
They're ten, they need face masks.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Like skincare is a big deal at a ten year
old's apparently.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Yeah, I just gotta be cautious about what we actually
are letting them put on their face because they don't
need the labels. Yeah, they don't need it. And plus
it's just gonna make their skin worse because it's.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Just gonna deplete.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Yeah, their skin's not mature enough for a lot of
those things that are included in the ingredients, and it's
just going to make them either break out dry out,
which then they're going to make them want to use
more products.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
It's got to like trick your body into like thinking, oh,
I don't need to produce this because it's already there
something like very present.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
So I've been thinking about trying to create clean teen.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Clean teen. I wonder if that's out there.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Clean teen trademark that clean teen. I mean they're not teen,
I mean the queens aren't teenagers. They're just preteens. But
they don't really need anything but maybe some moisturizer on
their face. And we living down the South and it's
there's enough humidity down here in my face as oarly
enough as it is. Some are at sleepovers, some are
running around, some are sleeping already.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Really.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Yeah, Hazel was crashed out on the couch.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I went up there before dinner, I would, right before
I started cooking dinner, and one of them was asleep.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
They were watching something on Disney Plus or something when
it was crashed. Must be nice being ten years old,
not a care in the world.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Off for summer. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Besides, I can't wait to put my face mask on.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Oh yeah, let's work on our skin routine.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Well, Blake just got back from summer camps. She went
to church.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Blake was gone for like almost a week.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Yeap, So it's good to get her back. See her
face hugger. She had a great time. Which is always
weird to like drop your kid off and not because
they're not allowed to have cell phones. Wow, they camp,
so they have to like I don't know if they
turn them in or they have to turn them off
or whatever, and they're not loved to use them until
the end of the week. They just quote unquote not
(03:20):
supposed to bring them, yeah, or they turn them in.
I don't know one of the other.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I remember whenever I led if kids had cell phones,
so they'd have to pass them up to us and
we'd put them in a bag and we'd hold on
to them till the end of the week.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I don't know that.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Yeah, maybe the honest kids actually turn their phones in. Yeah,
but yeah, she had a good time at camp, which
was good. There was a lot of kids at this one.
But she's come back. There was quite a few kids
that came back with like strap throat and getting sick.
So she's kind of did fine the next day, but
now she's kind of under the weather. So here goes.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I feel like that's going around because there was somebody
at the office that kept coughing and was complaining about
its sore throat.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yeah it happens.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay, it's weird for like colds to come through during
summer though, Yeah, it's using like a winter thing. Take
your vitamins, guys. I've been going hard on vitamin D
three K two, and I felt the difference, like, and
I've been taking that like deficient and energy. I've only
(04:28):
been doing it, like I took it for a while,
but like it was just D three And then I
read something like I don't know if like K two
is like a cofactor or something like that or helps
if it's orbit or something like that. But you need
to get like D three K two, And so I
ordered D three K two now, So now I'm I
just regular D three bottles just sitting I don't know
(04:50):
if I should like take them both at the same time.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I've been taking the K two is in it. Yeah,
I don't know, but I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I feel like I've felt a different just in like
energy levels and stuff like that over the course of
the day.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I feel like I sleep better. You really need to
sleep better. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I did not sleep the other night. I know that
you like stayed up on your laptop. I know, I
like thing two o'clock in the morning and I kept
You may think I'm sleeping, but like I'll like I'm
awake and I'm like laying there and then I'll get
up and like turn over. And I was trying to
finish some house things have to get She's doing done
on the computer and you.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
And you're like you weren't just like sitting back.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
It was for a while, but my back so I
was stretching.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
So I woke up.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I woke up and I looked over at you and
you're on your knees, sitting on your feet. I was
just leaning forward with your computer at the foot of
the bed.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Lower back out was she doing leaning forward? I was
almost done. I was like, oh, my back hurts from
sitting like this, So I like just stretched forward to finish.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Finally, like bit the bullet and like join the team.
Over at Good Ranchers, we like have a corporate membership
at like Lifetime Fitness, and so like we provide that
for all the employees and stuff. For the longest time,
I've just been going to my other gym pretty much
like equal distant to like this Lifetime, maybe like three
(06:17):
extra minutes to get to the Lifetime. So I've just
been going to my other gym. I'm like, well, I'm
going here. I'll just keep going here. But this morning,
the morning I couldn't the night that I couldn't sleep,
I was going to wake up and go there. I
feel like I couldn't sleep because like you weren't asleep,
and then I just didn't want to wake up. So
I was like, well, dang it, I'll just go try
(06:38):
to go at lunchtime or something. So I ended up
going at lunch. I decided, like I was going to
go ahead, just sign up and start going there, because
if we do end up moving further that direction, it'll
be closer to that gym. So I was like, well,
I might as well just start going anyway. Don't every gym,
any gym with like a swimming pool, they all have
that same smell that really it's it's not even it's
(07:00):
like chlorine mixed with like a sweat. No, it's not
even like a sweat smell, but it's just the same smell.
I don't know if it's I think it may be
like that smell whatever they put in the steam saw us,
it permeates through the entire because I remember what it
was like it was like at that that at south
Shore Fitness, and the gym that I go to now
(07:22):
doesn't have a swimming pool, and so you don't smell
that there. But then started going to this new place,
and it's just like it just takes me back whenever
I used to go to my old gym. They had
a swimming pool and steam to that gym, so it
just made me feel like I was ten years ten
years ago. Just you walk in, it's instantly it's like
(07:43):
that same smell and it just you know, like smells,
just like bring you back.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
But uh, today we have two sponsors for the podcast.
Our first is Good Ranchers. It's a really good time
to buy because it's summertime and you're gonna be grilling
a lot. And so right now Good Ranchers is offering
forty dollars off with our code Buzzby, so you can
go to good ranchers dot com. It's one hundred American meat.
(08:13):
Everything's born, raised, harvested, all in the US. Everything that's
on the ingredient list is labeled on the package, and
that's a very short ingredient list because it's only meat,
no hormones, no antibiotics, none of that crap that they
fill it with. So thank you Good Ranchers for sponsoring
this episode. Yep, Good ranchers dot com. American mean delivered,
(08:34):
yeah to your door. Oh I went to California. That's
all right, Daniel did go to California too. I went
to a live action. It was a live it was
live action like affiliated.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yeah. It was their first women something they did just
women the Gallas in September.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Oh yeah, yeah, it was good. It's a good little
short Huntington beach.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Yeah, it was a good little kind of twenty four
hour little trip there and back, but the weather was amazing.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Good Rancher sponsored that one too.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah my banner with all my photos what yeah we
have like aa, I took all those photos.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Okay, cool, good job.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
I think it's just fun to like see all the
like the promotional stuff and that we do. I'm like,
oh yeah, I shot all that.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Well.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I thought you was talking about the new one, the
one that they put behind like the table because it
was a cow girl. Because it was a girl. I
thought that was so cool.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, we tried to do like a whole one that's
like more feminine, like women centric themed, Like hey, now
you know we have stuff. It's like good ranchers you
think of like good ranchers, like men like ranchers, riding horses,
stuff like that. So we're like, it's a women's conference,
let's do some new stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
It's all like red and it was fun. So we
kind of like Valentine's.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
When we got to California, let's go run to the
t J Mac TJ. Maxwell for those of you who
know what that means. That joke and that a funny story.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
I couldn't tell you the last time I walked into Tjmax.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Hello, the one over there was amazing.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
It was so good.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
It is cool to go to like places like Marshalls
and TJ Max and stuff whenever you like travel away
and go to like a different city. Yeah, it must
be all good stuff that they have there that you
don't have. It was like a TJMX home goods. It
was like a combined This was big, but it was good.
And so we were going in there.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
She wanted to get like some like cactus and like
some like things just to decorate the table with that
we couldn't really like just carry on with us in
the airplane. And so everyone had this idea to let's
go work out in the morning, to go on the beach,
but no one had anything. I didn't even have ten shoes.
It was just one night I wore. I had a
dress for the night and then something to wear for
(10:54):
the next day and then come and holp me know.
And so they're like, oh, let's just get something here
at Marshall. So we all got like something athletic or whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Did you all even work out?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
No?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
And that's the.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Fun part that is not so funny that morning came around,
we actually all went to bed early. Yeah yeah, no kids. Yeah,
we all chose to sleep in. But it made a
funny story, like we all got.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
This all work out.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
To go walk on the beach and it was so
pretty and everything. But yeah, sleep probably always wins for
me for sure.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Good time.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
I met some people, got to see some people that
you know, have known and run into at some of
these events, and ran into a friend's cousin that just
happened to be there, and I was like this small world.
It was a good, good event. Lots of amazing speakers
and I learned a lot. There's actually two doctors that
I want to get on our podcast to share because
(11:54):
I was amazed by a lot of things that they
were talking about when it comes to like fertility and
just like medical medical things when it comes to like infertility,
things that I didn't know. Especially it's something I wish
I would have known prior to walking that season of life.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Like whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
There like a lot of doctors will tell you this,
but there are other options.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Right, And that was a lot of it too, like
telling you something out of fear, well out of fear,
but also out of just straight statistics and just youre
medical and you know there's always other options to look into.
And so I just I learned a lot. There's i
mean lucid reviewers there, like she's one of my favorite
(12:39):
She's just like our house.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
She is a strong woman.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Man. Laila was good. I mean everybody everybody who talked there. Really,
Gaines was there. I didn't get to see her because
they were running behind him. We had a we had
to leave a little bit earlier. Yeah, I mean, there's
a bunch of great speakers. There was like fourteen I think.
So learned a lot. Got to see a little couple
like insight, little visual things for the women's conference I'll
(13:03):
do in October. So picked up a couple little tips
here and there, some ideas, extra ideas. So that was
you know, double wami. You Cozy Earth for sponsoring this podcast.
And Cozy Earth's mission is to transform that five to
nine and that is what matters most of the day.
So whether it's you're sleeping in their breathable, amazingly cozy
(13:28):
bamboo sheets or their soft everyday tea, which I love
because guess what you can do with that every day tea?
You can wear it all day and then you can
sleep in it all night on your Cozy Earth sheets.
You will be not getting out of bed. So hey,
hope it's the weekend for you. But you can get
(13:50):
forty percent off using code more than at cozyerth dot com.
So thank you Cozy Earth for a sponsoring this podcast
and sleep Cooler, lounge lighter, and stay cozy. Use code
more than at checkout for forty percent.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Off Cozy Earth where Sanctuary awaits. And now back to
the end.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
So I got to connect card right here. How did
your family celebrate birthdays and holidays growing up?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Like my birthday? Yeah, just birthdays in general.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
I think we've always been. We were always family cousins
all around, aunts and uncles. If I look at like
my birthday or my sister's birthday, we always had like
that family thing.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
We did it really all the family got together.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Yeah, and kind of something we still do today, like
with my sisters and stuff. When it's a family, any
of us sixteen, we all find a day where we're
celebrating and doing dinner and cake and stuff. So I
love that carrying on that like tradition with us.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
But did you ever have like a like a big
group of your friend for like a sleepover.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
No. I never never had. I think for my sisters
there was a party, no, just friends. I never had
that growing up. Really, I never had like a just
like a birthday. Party. Was always just family. Mom was
always my birthday was two days before Christmas. Mone was
always of course your birthday never changes, but yours was
(15:23):
always in the Summer's always a summer birthday. It is crazy.
Just happened to be every year. It was during the summer,
and mine happened to be two days before Christmas every year.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Oh that's true. You get screwed.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
No, I mean as a kid, it was fun. I
mean but I didn't know anything different. But as I
got older and you would go to like your friend's
birthday and like it's like all your friends there or whatever.
I never had that, And I just assumed, oh, because
it's right before Christmas. But I think my sister's birthday,
they're twins, so they're in November, and they I mean
(15:58):
they would have like a coup couple of friends over.
I mean they had like some sleepovers at a time,
but I never had like I think Emily would like
come over for like the family thing. But I never
had it, just like friends over. So I think that's
probably why I'm like love birthdays and like like love
to celebrate our kids.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
But also your birthday is just like a weird time
to have. Like, hey, but I'm thankful that's the day.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
I know.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
But like I'm just talking about with like scheduling getting
friends over because it's like two days before Christmas, holidays
or jam pack. Your friends may be over at family
or out of town and stuff like that. It was
probably a lot more difficult just because yeah, time was
time wise. Time of year, mine was June tenth, and
so it's like right in the middle of summer out
(16:47):
of school. Growing up, we had this huge swimming pool.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Sorry this was my card.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Oh sorry, but every just every single year we had
like I pretty much just had a big swim party. Yeah,
and so I just I remember that like every year,
and we'd always take like a big group photo on
the diving board.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
How often you see diving boards.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
Down day, we were looking at houses and Parker was
with me, you're like outlawed or something because insurance. This
one house had beautiful backyard and the pool, and Parker's like,
oh look, mom, they got a slide and look, they
got that thing over there like they have on Sandlot
where they jump off of it.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Diving board what it's called.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
I was like in the reul, just like a diving board.
I'm like, yeah, diving board. It was so funny that Parker,
because we had just watched Sandlot like the day or
two before, and she was like, you know when he
jumps off into the water.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
That's weird because I heard somebody talking about how diving
boards or insurance, Well, like, yeah, I think or something
like that, if you have a diving board. I feel like, honestly, we.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Don't have a diving board, but we have rocks.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
No, we have a dag trampoline. I feel like that's
more of an insurance liability than a diving board. Like
at least you're you jump wrong, you're falling into water
instead of I mean, how many kids here a kid
like breaking an arm or a leg on a trampoline.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Yeah, but nobody really does diving boards anymore, so I
think it was obviously it was old.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Like knock on, knock on wood. We haven't had an
incident with a trampoline yet.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
All right, your question, since you answered mine, I'm not
going to answer this one, just saying setting the tone.
Is there something you think you need to quit.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Or give up holding on to stuff? And I've been
just now because like we're looking at organizing the house
and stuff, because you know, like if you move, you know,
that's like the perfect time to like purge and just
get rid of stuff that like you haven't used me
forever even one day. I mean that cabinet that's over
there in the corner of my office, on the bottom
(18:58):
of it, I mean it's like full of like backup
hard drives, like old archived hard drives and stuff.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
But so what are you getting out?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
It's cool stuff that like it's hard to just like
let it go because it's like, oh, this stuff's kind
of usable or whatever. But I mean, honestly, like I
just went through like the right side of it one
day and I was like, screw it. I ended up
feeling like an entire and it still feel it seems full.
But I filled up an entire one of those big
(19:25):
outdoor trash bags. Just like just time to like start
letting go of stuff, just like purging like videos and photos. No, no, no,
just like just like camera accessories. Oh yeah, I mean,
so you need to get a partner with like a
(19:45):
lot of like camera brands and stuff like that, and
so like you know, whenever something new comes out, like
I'll they'll send me certain cameras and or action cameras
or or different types of three sixty cameras and stuff,
and like I'll get stuff in and then but it
never fells, like all the accessories for the previous models
or whatever don't you fit with the new one. And
(20:08):
so it ended up you getting this just stockpile of
all these accessories and batteries and mounts and like all
this stuff that doesn't work with the new one. And
so it's just like stuff just like stacks up and
it's not it's not bad stuff. So you don't want
to like throw it away.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
So what's your overall you need to give up or
let go of just stuff?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Thank you?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
I just want to hear that.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
And what sucks is like my I have like a
some filing cabinet desk drawers.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I need to bring one of them to a locksmith.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
It's also like five like a freaking idiot I put
because I never lock them, I mean, and how's it locked?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I don't know, Like the bottom one. It's not locked,
but the top drawers, like jams or something is locked,
and like I'm trying to fiddle with it so many times.
I even looked on YouTube trying to figure out how
to pick a lock. I'm gonna have to bring it
to a locksmith just so I can like pull it out.
It's just like full of charging cables and charging bricks
and stuff. But it's like my pins and like certain
(21:13):
things like every now and then I'm like, oh, crab,
that's in the top drawer, and like now I can't
get into it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
But stuff like that annoys me. And I don't know,
but the key is inside of it. You can't lock
it without the key, but it's in the drawer and
so I don't know how it locked on itself, but
it's locked and I can't get into it. But I
can open the big one. I can open the bottom one.
But that annoys me, grinds my gears. So today we're
(21:41):
going to talk about We've been getting a lot of
questions as we've like done done different episodes and stuff.
And like we did an episode like talking about like
my journey with like anxiety depression stuff like that, but
a lot of people just because it was a big
storyline on our TV show Out Doddered. A lot of
(22:02):
people have been asking about Parker because like we went
down that road with Parker where we started noticing at
a very young age she had anxiety. And so, you know,
we did some things on the show to kind of
highlight what we were doing to seek help, what we
were doing to like work with her and stuff. On
TV you see a very small snippet of everything that
(22:25):
we were doing. It was just very like high level,
like showing that like we're going down this road of
like seeking help, speaking with people, bringing your places and stuff,
and what we were trying to do to like kind
of get her to come out of her shell, you know,
break those walls down and boundaries down, because people have
seen her lately and they're like, wow, all right, So
we're going to take a little break for one of
(22:46):
our sponsors, which is Good Ranchers. Did you know that
eighty five percent of the grass fed beef sold in
America is imported from overseas?
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Yep, that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
And Good Ranchers is that problem by being one hundred
percent American farmed and raised all from local farms.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
And ranches.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
You can go to good ranchers dot com and get
one hundred percent American meat delivered straight to your door.
It's free from hidden additives, no hormones, no antibiotics, nothing.
All of the ingredients that you see on the package
is what's listed, which is one hundred percent meat.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
It's almost like you're shocking me, but that's.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
What it should be exactly.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
But whenever you go through the grocery aisle, a lot
of stuff that even has like a USDA label on it,
more than likely it's coming from overseas. Good Ranchers fights
against that. And if you go to good ranchers dot
com you can enter the code Buzzby for forty dollars
off plus free meat for life.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Yep. And it's summertime, so we're in full swing of
summer and there's nothing better than some good meat around
the pool with your family and friends. And whether it's
burgers or hot dogs, or steaks or chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I know, I just got a notification we got a
new Good Rancher's box coming in the mail and I
put some extra stuff for the grill.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Yeah, for summertime.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
So be sure to check out good ranchers dot com
and use code buzzby at checkout.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
All right, thank you good Ranchers, American meat delivered.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
I mean I even am like, I can't believe this
used to be my most anxious child who needed that's
some form of security all the time.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
I remember.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I remember whenever we went on what that two or
three year hiatus on the show, and we like stepped
away for a little bit, and whenever the crew came back, Yeah,
they were blown away.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
They were like, is this the same kid?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yeah, because you know, a big part of it is
just Parker. I mean we would probably talk about that
later though, but I mean a big part of her
coming out of her shell is just her being comfortable
in her own skin. Well, I think and realizing just
how like how good she is at stuff and how
(25:14):
how and that that gave her a lot of confidence,
and I think, how do you get there? That's why
I said maybe we should talk about this.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Like, I mean, there's there's things and steps that we did,
but since you've brought that up already, I think how
to make her feel comfortable and confident in who she
is is a lot of encouragement, a lot of parent
encouragement and you know you can do this, let's try it,
and it's just it's baby steps, even even though it's
(25:46):
at times you know it might not be something she
wants to do, but we know it's something that could
help her, and she we could tell she wants to
do it, but the anxiousness holds her back. So you
really just have to be present with that child to
really understand is are they really scared? Do they not
like it? Do they does this? What is this? What
(26:09):
is their reactions to things?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, she would have like triggers. I remember whenever Parker
was like little, that kid was glued to my side
and to the point where, like a lot of people
would complain, they're like, you always just take photos of Parker. Yeah,
because I have a cat and it's so cute, Like
she was just always right there and I would look
(26:32):
down and she's just looking at me and just smile. Naturally,
I would just like have a bunch of really cute photos.
And because Parker literally whenever she was so little, anytime
I'm in the room, like she's locked on me and
she's like just looking dead at me, just smiling, So
naturally you just take a lot of those photos just
because they were just cute little moments with her.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
But I think early on signs and things that we
saw were things like just you can't compare your kids, right,
but when you have quintuplets, you see a range of
different emotions and feelings and things all day every day. Yes,
you can see that when you've got different maybe you
have six different aged kids, you can see that too,
(27:15):
But when you have five of them the same age,
you really see a change of differences that aren't necessarily
bad or good, just that personality is different than that one,
or she doesn't like the flavor of that than that one.
You know, so you learn your child, and so I
think obviously being present and aware, which therefore means you're
(27:37):
having to be involved with your child, which I think
is number one is being aware of who your child is,
what is it that they like what, and having notions
of man that is something that we can tell really
bothers her or when we're around X y Z she
gets uncomfortable, she would spontaneously like throw up at times,
(28:02):
like a lot of the time.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
She would get a little anxious or like you're in
her room with a lot of people, she would put her.
She would put her your hands over her ears a lot.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
That was when we found out then she had all
the ear.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
But she would but that became like a nervous.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
A nervous like tick or a nervous habit. But then
we found out that she had need to get tubes
in her ears, which that helped, but she still had
that was something that she could like motion to that
we could tell, but she would just like randomly like
throw up. And so we were like, man, I wonder,
like she's overwhelmed with something, you know, and something's bothering her,
(28:44):
and so she would just get like and I would say,
like a lot of kids, and a lot of babies
can get attached really easily, like to their parents, which
is normal, but because it was something we noticed differently
than the others.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
That just goes to show like, you know, people talk
about nature versus nurture, but whenever you have quintuplets, a
lot of things are very present and evident because you
have five babies that were born within four minutes, and
so you can see differences in personality, appearance, You can
(29:21):
see all those things, you know, because you have five
kids that were born like at the same time and
so and for ours, I feel like our kids were
like on very the complete spectrum of super outgoing to
super anxious, anxious. But then you know, you have one
(29:47):
that's like the goofball and wants to make people laugh,
one that's like a drama queen, one that's super sweet.
You know, like every single thing filled those you get
those different, but you weren't really you weren't really parenting
them any differently, but you see their multi different difference
(30:07):
of one because people were just yeah, and that's exactly the.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
Way to sho that God has created each one of
us uniquely in our own image, you know. So so
I think we really just start to see like there
were normal things that I think toddlers and you know,
babies and stuff do because we did have Blake before,
but Blake was a very independent, like could talk to
(30:32):
anybody kind of a child. But you know, we started
to see things that it would just it really would
hold her back from even as a toddler. So we really,
you know, being on a level of like knowing that
our kids from very beginning, something that I never saw
(30:53):
as a crutch. I always thought as a positive, Like
how can I be on top of something, How can
I have What information can I get before something states
or starts so that I can like better help. So
an example, meaning I have quintuplets. I know that they're
going to be behind in some way or not, especially
(31:16):
when it came to like motor skills and like learning
how to you know, like food, feed and all different
because they were very premature. Yeah, so because they were
born at twenty eight weeks in two days, it takes them.
It took them a while to like adapt and catch
up to like where they need it to be. And
they usually say by the age of two two to three,
like they can kind of be back on like their
(31:38):
level grade. I guess you could say. So I always
sought OT and like physical therapy and OT to like
really just be like, hey, come give me some advice,
Come help me learn what does this mean? Come help
like staying on top of those things, which I think
is very beneficial. It's not something that you need to
look at and say like, oh, I have to do
(31:59):
this for my child. No, you're doing this for your
child as a help for yourself, but a help for
you because you know, being a parent, we're trying to
raise six daughters, and quintuplets in the mix. You know,
it's like they're all different, and so nothing's going to
be the same. As much as you try to do
things that things as the same, it's going to be
(32:21):
received and have to be done a little bit different,
you know.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Because even like taking your kid to therapy or like
an OT or something like that, a lot of that
having a child, most of that is more for you.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Yeah, So we took a lot out of that whip,
and I think more than anything, we did go through
OT with her and did like this like kind of
like session to really just see like, what does she
have any struggles with any of her senses? Does she
have sensory issues with any of the five senses? So
(32:57):
we did and it really to her it was just
play time. Yeah, So we did different activities to really
see if she was you know, however, they were assessing
those things, and she passed all those so we knew
that there was nothing sensory that she was struggling with
causing these kind of like anxious times or you know,
(33:22):
anxious scenarios. So with that, going forward, what we said
to the OT was like, listen, you know, she's one
of five babies. At home? What are things that we
can do? Because I'm not there just for her, We're
also there as a parent saying like how do I
(33:42):
what are tools that we can use? So asking questions
and looking for if your child, you know, goes through
those phases and they are not quote unquote approved for
any type of assistance or help in some way, ask
for yourself like, okay, well if I can't you know,
(34:04):
by doctor prescription quote unquote, get X, y Z. What
can you tell me to do as a parent? How
can I help her in these situations? What are tools
that you can give me as a parent to do
or say or whatever? And so I would say more
than anything at that age though she passed those sensory
(34:25):
things like what we took back from those were just
things that they told us as parents. I think we
had like two or three sessions where it was like,
just help us learn how to like do this? You know,
what what is it that we can do differently, especially
in a scenario with five babies where you are spread
out across having to you know, take care of and
(34:47):
you know in the transition of like getting from X
to Y to Z, it's a lot. So how do
we better help her in this situation. A lot of
those tools were to be vocal, so make sure that
you are. Even if they can't verbalize it back to you,
just tell them, give them a heads up. You know,
(35:09):
Parker didn't like change or she didn't like a new
thing scenario, so like.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
We would prepare her.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
We would just tell her like, Okay, well tomorrow we're
gonna go to the zoo. She loves the zoo. She'd
always she wants to go to the zoo, but sometimes
she has a hard time getting out at the zoo
and like that change of like it's a new scenery
and stuff. So prepping her the day before and saying
like you know what to expect, what to expect tomorrow,
and of course we would tell all the kids, but
(35:35):
we were really were really doing it for her, like
are you excited we're gonna go to what animal do
you want to see tomorrow? So kind of getting her
head already thinking about the zoo and what that meant
for the other girls was possibly asking question over question
over question, but for Parker it was her absorbing that
I'm going to be placed in a different atmosphere and
(35:58):
we're helping her be a custom to that's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Pre acclimating her situation and so then you know, then
it's breakfast time.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
It's like, hey, you know, we're eating at breakfast, and
like then you're you're just re engaged.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
A big part of it, it was just like, how
do we how do we implement that into every facet
of her life, whether it's yeah, and going somewhere to eat,
going to a new place, going trying a new food,
you know, going to a new person's house, stuff like that,
and you're just like working with her. We were doing
(36:36):
it in a setting like just like you said, where
you're kind of doing it for all the kids. But
primarily it was for the purpose of preparing Parker ahead
of time, so that she is already mentally prepared going
into something new.
Speaker 4 (36:51):
Yeah, and then as they get older and converbalize and communicate,
it's really teaching them that she has a voice, even
from a young age, you know, because we've got some
that don't shut up, and then we've got one at
the time that was just super quiet and wouldn't speak up,
(37:12):
not saying that was a bad thing or a good
thing or whatever. But for us, we could tell there
was something different in that scenario for her. And so,
you know, one of the tips that the OT gave
us was listen when you go to Chick fil a
or when you go to like when you go out
to eat somewhere and they want to ask you, like
(37:32):
what do y'all want to drink? And everybody, instead of
moms saying, hey, just get six waters, let her say like, Okay, Parker,
what would you like to drink? And let her tell
the person something small, just something super small like that
helped Parker be able to talk to be able to
(37:54):
say like what is it that I want? And how
do I tell a hostess or how do I tell
the way or the waiter? You know, instead of someone
doing it for her. Something so small like that really
helped her be able to learn to And it's not
a big, a big ordeal. It's just sometimes if we
(38:16):
asked her first, we learned we don't ask her first.
We say, I would say like, hey, Adam, what do
you want to drink? Blake, what do you want to drink?
And we go run the table. Okay, Parker, it's your turn.
What would you like to drink? To show her that
it's okay, we're all doing this. Your sisters can vocalize
what they want and you too, so and then it's
it's a lot of praise. Good job, proud of you
(38:38):
for speaking up. I'm proud of you for telling them
what you like, what you want like and super small things.
I mean, we were doing this at like four years old,
preparing verbalizing like what you're doing, trying to bring in
small scenarios where you're asking them and sometimes in a sense,
you have to use your your parents common sense to say, Okay,
(39:02):
we're going to the park and I want her to
wear Tinni shoes, but let's see if we can get
her to decide what shoe to wear. So I'm gonna
give her a shoe and a sandal. We already know
that we want her to wear the Tinnis shoe, but
she I'm going to ask her like I'm gonna let
her speak up for herself and let her hear as
well as and I'm gonna do it with everybody in
(39:24):
the house. And you know, I'm gonna ask her like, Okay, Parker,
what shoes do you want to wear? It to the zoo?
And if she picks the sandalf I have to not
say no, no, that's not the right shoe. You have
to say, like, hmm, do you think your toes are
gonna get dirty? Or maybe something will step on it
or we'll scratch it. Do you think we should wear
the tinny shoe? Trying to say things in a way
(39:46):
to get her to say, that's a good idea. Yes,
let me pick the tennis shoes. So using that verbiage
to make it their idea, so that she's learning, like
how to make a decision and how to say that's
the better decision, just really though, just those three simple things.
(40:07):
Then as she's getting older, you're seeing her get more
comfortable in those scenarios. And then you go and if
you're in line at you know, the restaurant, you're going
to order some food, She'll get more comfortable and just
gonna I want a number four, you know, with a
water or like whatever. Like you gradually will start to
see little improvements over time, and so you have to
(40:31):
to also be aware of good job, Parker, I'm proud
of you for ordering your meal for you, you know,
and a lot of times too, guys. Don't don't get
me wrong, it's not like I do like every single time,
but a lot of times when we need those moments
because sometimes I'm like, Okay, give me, give me one
thing for all of them, you know, give me this
(40:51):
big thing, and I'm gonna give me this thirty piece nugget.
I'm gonna share across all. So I'm not letting them
all order every single time because that might be more expensive.
But there are different windows of whenever we're constantly still
preparing and telling them. Even to this day, we still
use those tools a lot to that.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
So, yeah, one other resource, and this is not like
an ad or a sponsor or anything like that. It's
just some really good friends of ours, husband and wife,
Joshua and Christy Straub. They're both psychologists. They have a
lot of books out. They have a podcast called Famous
at Home, which we've mentioned them before. They've even helped us,
(41:31):
Danielle and I personally through like difficult times in relationship
and trying to work through different things. They're just awesome,
like the most solid people you could ever come across.
But they have a series of books. There's two of
them right here. It's and I pulled them up my
pad just to pull them out. There's one's called what
(41:52):
Am I feeling. And there's a whole like feelings chart
that's in the in the back of the book that
you can pull out just to get your kid like
articulating what they're feeling in that moment and stuff where
they're either lashing out or withdrawing or stuff like that.
And it's a chart that they can like point to
and stuff if they can't you know, verbalize what they're
(42:13):
feeling with what they're feeling at the time, and it
just allows that open dialogue of just working through, you know,
whatever they may be struggling with at the time. And
there's another book it's called What Do I Do With Worry?
And it's these are like children's books that you can
sit at bedtime and just like read through and it
just helps the kid process like feelings and how to
(42:36):
work through that, whether it's worry or anxiety or anger
or anything like that. These are great books to pick
up if you're, you know, you're a parent of a
younger child that's like just struggling with emotions and stuff.
I recommended it to a good friend of mine just
here recently. She was like struggling with, you know, her
(42:57):
daughter just kind of lashing out and I'm like, hey,
and I recommended the books, and she actually reached out
to me. I'm on Monday this week and she's like, hey,
I just want to let you know, like I ordered
those books that you were telling me about, and we've
been going through it with our daughter. They have worked tremendously,
and she was just like almost to the point where
like she wanted to start crying. She's like, these have
(43:19):
helped so much. And so if you're a parent of
a younger child, like one hundred percent, I totally recommend it.
They're solid people, good messaging. It's not going to you know,
push any kind of crazy ideology or anything on you.
It's just great just to get your kids open up
about their feelings.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
I also think some kids who can't you know, possibly
verbalize or really know how to like say what they're
feeling or know what they're feeling or what they really
even like, So when it came to, you know, trying
to get the kids like involved in sports or extracurricular things,
(43:58):
it's kind of like try. We tried a couple differently
what we drive gymnastics, and it would be hard for
Parker to like, you know, like go in there even
though she loved it so much was hard, and then
we tried dance and that just like filled filled her
joy without her even really realizing it. She got to
get dressed up in a tucu and a pink and
(44:20):
that's not for every kid, but I will tell you
that was a life changing moment for seeing Parker find something.
And honestly, I hate that she's not in dance anymore
because she likes the other sports too, but she's very
good at a lot of things. But when she got
into dance and was in dance for a while, that
(44:40):
really opened up her confidence of I really like this,
I want to do it, and I enjoy how it
makes me feel when I'm doing it. Therefore made her
do it again, which kept And then you have parents
on the other side, us saying you know, you know,
(45:00):
we're so proud of you for going out there today.
Like those those encouraging reinforcement words are so powerful at
a young age, I mean, the rest of their life.
It is always telling them you're proud of them, and just.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Be careful to like draw that line of like not
focusing on performance, focusing on just like how it makes
you feel and did you enjoy it, you did, you
like it, You're you know, you're and just giving them
that positive reinforcement through it. Yeah, because it's not about
not necessarily making it about how good she was doing
(45:32):
it that I'm so proud.
Speaker 4 (45:35):
I'm so proud that you got out there, even if
you fell you know. I remember one time she fell down,
which this is ironic because this is what her book
is about. She fell down and she was so worked
up because it wasn't perfect, but a little bit of
pep talk, and I was just like, you know, it
doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that we're not perfect. We
(45:57):
go out there and we try and don't do you
want to get back there? Do you are you happy
doing this? Are you happy twirling around? And blah blah blah,
you know, so those things and it was like, okay, well,
let's all it takes is to try. We all fall
down and to really have conversations later about like, you know,
even if it's not in the moment or you weren't
(46:18):
there when that happened, or it's about to teaching your
kids that, like listen, mom and dad aren't perfect either.
Like so if you can find some type of like
relatable scenario like when Blake was being really upset and
like not wanting to switch schools and having to meet
new friends and so me trying to get on a
level and being like, you know, let me give you
(46:38):
a scenario about me and that same thing, like having
to leave, having to have new friends, like so trying
to find something where they can relate to let you
know that, like, man, I got you, Like I've walked
through this before, Like let me relate to you in
a way that you can understand, but not in a
way to make you think that we are weak in
(46:59):
a sense, but that it's okay because we've made it
through it.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Yeah, I mean it's natural feelings.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Obviously, you don't want to talk about those more intimate
things with like a very young child, but like yeah, Blake,
she's a teenager, and like you can kind of give
those scenarios and stuff that you've learned from growing up.
One thing is you don't want your child caught up
and putting so much weight into receiving the approval of
(47:29):
their parent. You know, a thing that I tell the
girls a lot is you know, there's nothing that you
can do good or bad. There's there's nothing that you
can do to make Dad love you any less. And
then they're like, yeah, but there's also there's nothing that
you can do to make me love you anymore. Right,
(47:51):
I love you this much and there's nothing that you
can do to change that either way. I'm always gonna
love you this much. And for them just to like realize,
like and not worry about, Oh, Dad's not.
Speaker 4 (48:06):
Don't have to prove anything to me and you don't
have and there's nothing you can do that's going to
make me not love you. You can tell me whatever
and it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
It just gives then confidence.
Speaker 4 (48:17):
Yeah, you do not have to achieve the top, because
it's not about us achieving the top, you know, Can
you strive for it? Can you set goals? Absolutely, But
we're not going to love you less because you didn't
make a mark, you know.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
I mean just like you know, this past year, just
getting Blake involved, you know, she's loved tennis and getting
her involved in and starting you know, tournament play and
tennis and stuff and entering Honestly, it's a it's a
very scary thing. Like as a teenager starting your first tournament,
you don't know what to expect school tournament, Like you
don't know who who you're up against and stuff like that.
(48:52):
There's gonna be kids that are way older than you.
There's gonna be kids on younger than you. It's it
brings anxiety and just to convey to her walking through it,
knowing she's a little bit worked up, knowing she may
be uncomfortable with this and putting yourself out there, but
you know, just reassuring her through the process of I'm
(49:15):
not I am not looking for you to win this tournament,
just like you want to play all My only expectation
for you out there is to try hard and to
get experience, and I don't care how this goes. Yeah,
it's gonna It'll be great. If you like win a
win a match or something like that, that's great. That's
(49:36):
just that's a plus. But if you if you lose,
you know what, that's great too because you learn something
and what are we going to learn from that loss?
You know, it's only going to make you get better,
it's only going to give you more experience. It's only
going to prepare you for the future. Like, we have
no expectations going into this, so it's good.
Speaker 4 (49:57):
Yeah, So we got a lot of questions about could
we touch base on give points on stuff on like
what we did to kind of like where people start
to see like so much change and like Parker, you know,
following our story and whatever. So hopefully this was helpful.
I know some people told people that we would talk
about this on the podcast, and I'm glad we're talking
(50:18):
about now because it'll be a good follow up. So
you know, I'm I'm sure there's an abundant amount of
imperfect parenting advice that we could get because guess what,
we're not perfect, but we learn and we get to
experience a high level of things every single day.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
And these are the things that worked for us.
Speaker 4 (50:39):
Yeah, so we're not giving you like pro tips, We're
giving you Busby pro tips because this is what we've
walked through, this is what we've learned, this is how
we've dealt and this is how we got through it.
So hopefully you know, this information that we're sharing can
help you all that have been asking you know, how
to what are tips that you have for kids who
(50:59):
struggle with anxiety? Yeah, I mean we have specially at
a young age. We have six kids that you know,
they're very they're very well rounded and confident kids, and
you know, there're a lot we get a lot of
compliments from other parents, just like how like adjusted they
are to like new people and new new scenarios and stuff,
and so all we can tell them is like, these
(51:20):
are the things that we've implemented and we've learned over
the years. And you know, hopefully, you know, you may
have heard something that have spoke to you or may
have resonated and take it own it, you know, steal
it from us and see if it works. But thank
you guys for tuning in to apppisode thirty nine. Yep,
(51:40):
more than reality podcast. We'll see you in the next one. Hi, guys,
all right, we love you guys.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
I don't stop
A lot of people have been asking about Parker because
we went down that road with Parker where we started
noticing at a very young age she had anxiety. Whenever
Parker was like little, that kid was glued to my side, doggy.
It is so cute, like she was just always right
there and I would look down and she's just looking
(00:20):
at me and just smiling.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Welcome to More Than Reality Podcast with Adam and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
And this is episode thirty nine.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Nice romas to my age.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
There we go.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We're getting out there. We're like middle aged now in
podcast world. Kids are home summertime. You never know when
they're going to be in or out. Yeah, we're shooting
this light into the evening and so kids are just
like we just had to write before we started, we
had to like yell because they were like all ye
when they screaming and play in upstairs, they.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Just came downstairs with their face masks on.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
That's what they're doing.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
They're ten, they need face masks.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Like skincare is a big deal at a ten year
old's apparently.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Yeah, I just gotta be cautious about what we actually
are letting them put on their face because they don't
need the labels. Yeah, they don't need it. And plus
it's just gonna make their skin worse because it's.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Just gonna deplete.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Yeah, their skin's not mature enough for a lot of
those things that are included in the ingredients, and it's
just going to make them either break out dry out,
which then they're going to make them want to use
more products.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
It's got to like trick your body into like thinking, oh,
I don't need to produce this because it's already there
something like very present.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
So I've been thinking about trying to create clean teen.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Clean teen. I wonder if that's out there.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Clean teen trademark that clean teen. I mean they're not teen,
I mean the queens aren't teenagers. They're just preteens. But
they don't really need anything but maybe some moisturizer on
their face. And we living down the South and it's
there's enough humidity down here in my face as oarly
enough as it is. Some are at sleepovers, some are
running around, some are sleeping already.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Really.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Yeah, Hazel was crashed out on the couch.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I went up there before dinner, I would, right before
I started cooking dinner, and one of them was asleep.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
They were watching something on Disney Plus or something when
it was crashed. Must be nice being ten years old,
not a care in the world.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Off for summer. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Besides, I can't wait to put my face mask on.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Oh yeah, let's work on our skin routine.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Well, Blake just got back from summer camps. She went
to church.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Blake was gone for like almost a week.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Yeap, So it's good to get her back. See her
face hugger. She had a great time. Which is always
weird to like drop your kid off and not because
they're not allowed to have cell phones. Wow, they camp,
so they have to like I don't know if they
turn them in or they have to turn them off
or whatever, and they're not loved to use them until
the end of the week. They just quote unquote not
(03:20):
supposed to bring them, yeah, or they turn them in.
I don't know one of the other.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I remember whenever I led if kids had cell phones,
so they'd have to pass them up to us and
we'd put them in a bag and we'd hold on
to them till the end of the week.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I don't know that.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Yeah, maybe the honest kids actually turn their phones in. Yeah,
but yeah, she had a good time at camp, which
was good. There was a lot of kids at this one.
But she's come back. There was quite a few kids
that came back with like strap throat and getting sick.
So she's kind of did fine the next day, but
now she's kind of under the weather. So here goes.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I feel like that's going around because there was somebody
at the office that kept coughing and was complaining about
its sore throat.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yeah it happens.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay, it's weird for like colds to come through during
summer though, Yeah, it's using like a winter thing. Take
your vitamins, guys. I've been going hard on vitamin D
three K two, and I felt the difference, like, and
I've been taking that like deficient and energy. I've only
(04:28):
been doing it, like I took it for a while,
but like it was just D three And then I
read something like I don't know if like K two
is like a cofactor or something like that or helps
if it's orbit or something like that. But you need
to get like D three K two, And so I
ordered D three K two now, So now I'm I
just regular D three bottles just sitting I don't know
(04:50):
if I should like take them both at the same time.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I've been taking the K two is in it. Yeah,
I don't know, but I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I feel like I've felt a different just in like
energy levels and stuff like that over the course of
the day.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I feel like I sleep better. You really need to
sleep better. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I did not sleep the other night. I know that
you like stayed up on your laptop. I know, I
like thing two o'clock in the morning and I kept
You may think I'm sleeping, but like I'll like I'm
awake and I'm like laying there and then I'll get
up and like turn over. And I was trying to
finish some house things have to get She's doing done
on the computer and you.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
And you're like you weren't just like sitting back.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
It was for a while, but my back so I
was stretching.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
So I woke up.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I woke up and I looked over at you and
you're on your knees, sitting on your feet. I was
just leaning forward with your computer at the foot of
the bed.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Lower back out was she doing leaning forward? I was
almost done. I was like, oh, my back hurts from
sitting like this, So I like just stretched forward to finish.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Finally, like bit the bullet and like join the team.
Over at Good Ranchers, we like have a corporate membership
at like Lifetime Fitness, and so like we provide that
for all the employees and stuff. For the longest time,
I've just been going to my other gym pretty much
like equal distant to like this Lifetime, maybe like three
(06:17):
extra minutes to get to the Lifetime. So I've just
been going to my other gym. I'm like, well, I'm
going here. I'll just keep going here. But this morning,
the morning I couldn't the night that I couldn't sleep,
I was going to wake up and go there. I
feel like I couldn't sleep because like you weren't asleep,
and then I just didn't want to wake up. So
I was like, well, dang it, I'll just go try
(06:38):
to go at lunchtime or something. So I ended up
going at lunch. I decided, like I was going to
go ahead, just sign up and start going there, because
if we do end up moving further that direction, it'll
be closer to that gym. So I was like, well,
I might as well just start going anyway. Don't every gym,
any gym with like a swimming pool, they all have
that same smell that really it's it's not even it's
(07:00):
like chlorine mixed with like a sweat. No, it's not
even like a sweat smell, but it's just the same smell.
I don't know if it's I think it may be
like that smell whatever they put in the steam saw us,
it permeates through the entire because I remember what it
was like it was like at that that at south
Shore Fitness, and the gym that I go to now
(07:22):
doesn't have a swimming pool, and so you don't smell
that there. But then started going to this new place,
and it's just like it just takes me back whenever
I used to go to my old gym. They had
a swimming pool and steam to that gym, so it
just made me feel like I was ten years ten
years ago. Just you walk in, it's instantly it's like
(07:43):
that same smell and it just you know, like smells,
just like bring you back.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
But uh, today we have two sponsors for the podcast.
Our first is Good Ranchers. It's a really good time
to buy because it's summertime and you're gonna be grilling
a lot. And so right now Good Ranchers is offering
forty dollars off with our code Buzzby, so you can
go to good ranchers dot com. It's one hundred American meat.
(08:13):
Everything's born, raised, harvested, all in the US. Everything that's
on the ingredient list is labeled on the package, and
that's a very short ingredient list because it's only meat,
no hormones, no antibiotics, none of that crap that they
fill it with. So thank you Good Ranchers for sponsoring
this episode. Yep, Good ranchers dot com. American mean delivered,
(08:34):
yeah to your door. Oh I went to California. That's
all right, Daniel did go to California too. I went
to a live action. It was a live it was
live action like affiliated.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yeah. It was their first women something they did just
women the Gallas in September.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Oh yeah, yeah, it was good. It's a good little
short Huntington beach.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Yeah, it was a good little kind of twenty four
hour little trip there and back, but the weather was amazing.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Good Rancher sponsored that one too.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah my banner with all my photos what yeah we
have like aa, I took all those photos.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Okay, cool, good job.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
I think it's just fun to like see all the
like the promotional stuff and that we do. I'm like,
oh yeah, I shot all that.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Well.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I thought you was talking about the new one, the
one that they put behind like the table because it
was a cow girl. Because it was a girl. I
thought that was so cool.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, we tried to do like a whole one that's
like more feminine, like women centric themed, Like hey, now
you know we have stuff. It's like good ranchers you
think of like good ranchers, like men like ranchers, riding horses,
stuff like that. So we're like, it's a women's conference,
let's do some new stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
It's all like red and it was fun. So we
kind of like Valentine's.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
When we got to California, let's go run to the
t J Mac TJ. Maxwell for those of you who
know what that means. That joke and that a funny story.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
I couldn't tell you the last time I walked into Tjmax.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Hello, the one over there was amazing.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
It was so good.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
It is cool to go to like places like Marshalls
and TJ Max and stuff whenever you like travel away
and go to like a different city. Yeah, it must
be all good stuff that they have there that you
don't have. It was like a TJMX home goods. It
was like a combined This was big, but it was good.
And so we were going in there.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
She wanted to get like some like cactus and like
some like things just to decorate the table with that
we couldn't really like just carry on with us in
the airplane. And so everyone had this idea to let's
go work out in the morning, to go on the beach,
but no one had anything. I didn't even have ten shoes.
It was just one night I wore. I had a
dress for the night and then something to wear for
(10:54):
the next day and then come and holp me know.
And so they're like, oh, let's just get something here
at Marshall. So we all got like something athletic or whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Did you all even work out?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
No?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
And that's the.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Fun part that is not so funny that morning came around,
we actually all went to bed early. Yeah yeah, no kids. Yeah,
we all chose to sleep in. But it made a
funny story, like we all got.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
This all work out.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
To go walk on the beach and it was so
pretty and everything. But yeah, sleep probably always wins for
me for sure.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Good time.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
I met some people, got to see some people that
you know, have known and run into at some of
these events, and ran into a friend's cousin that just
happened to be there, and I was like this small world.
It was a good, good event. Lots of amazing speakers
and I learned a lot. There's actually two doctors that
I want to get on our podcast to share because
(11:54):
I was amazed by a lot of things that they
were talking about when it comes to like fertility and
just like medical medical things when it comes to like infertility,
things that I didn't know. Especially it's something I wish
I would have known prior to walking that season of life.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Like whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
There like a lot of doctors will tell you this,
but there are other options.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Right, And that was a lot of it too, like
telling you something out of fear, well out of fear,
but also out of just straight statistics and just youre
medical and you know there's always other options to look into.
And so I just I learned a lot. There's i
mean lucid reviewers there, like she's one of my favorite
(12:39):
She's just like our house.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
She is a strong woman.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Man. Laila was good. I mean everybody everybody who talked there. Really,
Gaines was there. I didn't get to see her because
they were running behind him. We had a we had
to leave a little bit earlier. Yeah, I mean, there's
a bunch of great speakers. There was like fourteen I think.
So learned a lot. Got to see a little couple
like insight, little visual things for the women's conference I'll
(13:03):
do in October. So picked up a couple little tips
here and there, some ideas, extra ideas. So that was
you know, double wami. You Cozy Earth for sponsoring this podcast.
And Cozy Earth's mission is to transform that five to
nine and that is what matters most of the day.
So whether it's you're sleeping in their breathable, amazingly cozy
(13:28):
bamboo sheets or their soft everyday tea, which I love
because guess what you can do with that every day tea?
You can wear it all day and then you can
sleep in it all night on your Cozy Earth sheets.
You will be not getting out of bed. So hey,
hope it's the weekend for you. But you can get
(13:50):
forty percent off using code more than at cozyerth dot com.
So thank you Cozy Earth for a sponsoring this podcast
and sleep Cooler, lounge lighter, and stay cozy. Use code
more than at checkout for forty percent.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Off Cozy Earth where Sanctuary awaits. And now back to
the end.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
So I got to connect card right here. How did
your family celebrate birthdays and holidays growing up?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Like my birthday? Yeah, just birthdays in general.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
I think we've always been. We were always family cousins
all around, aunts and uncles. If I look at like
my birthday or my sister's birthday, we always had like
that family thing.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
We did it really all the family got together.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Yeah, and kind of something we still do today, like
with my sisters and stuff. When it's a family, any
of us sixteen, we all find a day where we're
celebrating and doing dinner and cake and stuff. So I
love that carrying on that like tradition with us.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
But did you ever have like a like a big
group of your friend for like a sleepover.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
No. I never never had. I think for my sisters
there was a party, no, just friends. I never had
that growing up. Really, I never had like a just
like a birthday. Party. Was always just family. Mom was
always my birthday was two days before Christmas. Mone was
always of course your birthday never changes, but yours was
(15:23):
always in the Summer's always a summer birthday. It is crazy.
Just happened to be every year. It was during the summer,
and mine happened to be two days before Christmas every year.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Oh that's true. You get screwed.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
No, I mean as a kid, it was fun. I
mean but I didn't know anything different. But as I
got older and you would go to like your friend's
birthday and like it's like all your friends there or whatever.
I never had that, And I just assumed, oh, because
it's right before Christmas. But I think my sister's birthday,
they're twins, so they're in November, and they I mean
(15:58):
they would have like a coup couple of friends over.
I mean they had like some sleepovers at a time,
but I never had like I think Emily would like
come over for like the family thing. But I never
had it, just like friends over. So I think that's
probably why I'm like love birthdays and like like love
to celebrate our kids.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
But also your birthday is just like a weird time
to have. Like, hey, but I'm thankful that's the day.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
I know.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
But like I'm just talking about with like scheduling getting
friends over because it's like two days before Christmas, holidays
or jam pack. Your friends may be over at family
or out of town and stuff like that. It was
probably a lot more difficult just because yeah, time was
time wise. Time of year, mine was June tenth, and
so it's like right in the middle of summer out
(16:47):
of school. Growing up, we had this huge swimming pool.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Sorry this was my card.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Oh sorry, but every just every single year we had
like I pretty much just had a big swim party. Yeah,
and so I just I remember that like every year,
and we'd always take like a big group photo on
the diving board.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
How often you see diving boards.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
Down day, we were looking at houses and Parker was
with me, you're like outlawed or something because insurance. This
one house had beautiful backyard and the pool, and Parker's like,
oh look, mom, they got a slide and look, they
got that thing over there like they have on Sandlot
where they jump off of it.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Diving board what it's called.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
I was like in the reul, just like a diving board.
I'm like, yeah, diving board. It was so funny that Parker,
because we had just watched Sandlot like the day or
two before, and she was like, you know when he
jumps off into the water.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
That's weird because I heard somebody talking about how diving
boards or insurance, Well, like, yeah, I think or something
like that, if you have a diving board. I feel like, honestly, we.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Don't have a diving board, but we have rocks.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
No, we have a dag trampoline. I feel like that's
more of an insurance liability than a diving board. Like
at least you're you jump wrong, you're falling into water
instead of I mean, how many kids here a kid
like breaking an arm or a leg on a trampoline.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Yeah, but nobody really does diving boards anymore, so I
think it was obviously it was old.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Like knock on, knock on wood. We haven't had an
incident with a trampoline yet.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
All right, your question, since you answered mine, I'm not
going to answer this one, just saying setting the tone.
Is there something you think you need to quit.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Or give up holding on to stuff? And I've been
just now because like we're looking at organizing the house
and stuff, because you know, like if you move, you know,
that's like the perfect time to like purge and just
get rid of stuff that like you haven't used me
forever even one day. I mean that cabinet that's over
there in the corner of my office, on the bottom
(18:58):
of it, I mean it's like full of like backup
hard drives, like old archived hard drives and stuff.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
But so what are you getting out?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
It's cool stuff that like it's hard to just like
let it go because it's like, oh, this stuff's kind
of usable or whatever. But I mean, honestly, like I
just went through like the right side of it one
day and I was like, screw it. I ended up
feeling like an entire and it still feel it seems full.
But I filled up an entire one of those big
(19:25):
outdoor trash bags. Just like just time to like start
letting go of stuff, just like purging like videos and photos. No, no, no,
just like just like camera accessories. Oh yeah, I mean,
so you need to get a partner with like a
(19:45):
lot of like camera brands and stuff like that, and
so like you know, whenever something new comes out, like
I'll they'll send me certain cameras and or action cameras
or or different types of three sixty cameras and stuff,
and like I'll get stuff in and then but it
never fells, like all the accessories for the previous models
or whatever don't you fit with the new one. And
(20:08):
so it ended up you getting this just stockpile of
all these accessories and batteries and mounts and like all
this stuff that doesn't work with the new one. And
so it's just like stuff just like stacks up and
it's not it's not bad stuff. So you don't want
to like throw it away.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
So what's your overall you need to give up or
let go of just stuff?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Thank you?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
I just want to hear that.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
And what sucks is like my I have like a
some filing cabinet desk drawers.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I need to bring one of them to a locksmith.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
It's also like five like a freaking idiot I put
because I never lock them, I mean, and how's it locked?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I don't know, Like the bottom one. It's not locked,
but the top drawers, like jams or something is locked,
and like I'm trying to fiddle with it so many times.
I even looked on YouTube trying to figure out how
to pick a lock. I'm gonna have to bring it
to a locksmith just so I can like pull it out.
It's just like full of charging cables and charging bricks
and stuff. But it's like my pins and like certain
(21:13):
things like every now and then I'm like, oh, crab,
that's in the top drawer, and like now I can't
get into it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
But stuff like that annoys me. And I don't know,
but the key is inside of it. You can't lock
it without the key, but it's in the drawer and
so I don't know how it locked on itself, but
it's locked and I can't get into it. But I
can open the big one. I can open the bottom one.
But that annoys me, grinds my gears. So today we're
(21:41):
going to talk about We've been getting a lot of
questions as we've like done done different episodes and stuff.
And like we did an episode like talking about like
my journey with like anxiety depression stuff like that, but
a lot of people just because it was a big
storyline on our TV show Out Doddered. A lot of
(22:02):
people have been asking about Parker because like we went
down that road with Parker where we started noticing at
a very young age she had anxiety. And so, you know,
we did some things on the show to kind of
highlight what we were doing to seek help, what we
were doing to like work with her and stuff. On
TV you see a very small snippet of everything that
(22:25):
we were doing. It was just very like high level,
like showing that like we're going down this road of
like seeking help, speaking with people, bringing your places and stuff,
and what we were trying to do to like kind
of get her to come out of her shell, you know,
break those walls down and boundaries down, because people have
seen her lately and they're like, wow, all right, So
we're going to take a little break for one of
(22:46):
our sponsors, which is Good Ranchers. Did you know that
eighty five percent of the grass fed beef sold in
America is imported from overseas?
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Yep, that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
And Good Ranchers is that problem by being one hundred
percent American farmed and raised all from local farms.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
And ranches.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
You can go to good ranchers dot com and get
one hundred percent American meat delivered straight to your door.
It's free from hidden additives, no hormones, no antibiotics, nothing.
All of the ingredients that you see on the package
is what's listed, which is one hundred percent meat.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
It's almost like you're shocking me, but that's.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
What it should be exactly.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
But whenever you go through the grocery aisle, a lot
of stuff that even has like a USDA label on it,
more than likely it's coming from overseas. Good Ranchers fights
against that. And if you go to good ranchers dot
com you can enter the code Buzzby for forty dollars
off plus free meat for life.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Yep. And it's summertime, so we're in full swing of
summer and there's nothing better than some good meat around
the pool with your family and friends. And whether it's
burgers or hot dogs, or steaks or chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I know, I just got a notification we got a
new Good Rancher's box coming in the mail and I
put some extra stuff for the grill.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Yeah, for summertime.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
So be sure to check out good ranchers dot com
and use code buzzby at checkout.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
All right, thank you good Ranchers, American meat delivered.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
I mean I even am like, I can't believe this
used to be my most anxious child who needed that's
some form of security all the time.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
I remember.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I remember whenever we went on what that two or
three year hiatus on the show, and we like stepped
away for a little bit, and whenever the crew came back, Yeah,
they were blown away.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
They were like, is this the same kid?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yeah, because you know, a big part of it is
just Parker. I mean we would probably talk about that
later though, but I mean a big part of her
coming out of her shell is just her being comfortable
in her own skin. Well, I think and realizing just
how like how good she is at stuff and how
(25:14):
how and that that gave her a lot of confidence,
and I think, how do you get there? That's why
I said maybe we should talk about this.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Like, I mean, there's there's things and steps that we did,
but since you've brought that up already, I think how
to make her feel comfortable and confident in who she
is is a lot of encouragement, a lot of parent
encouragement and you know you can do this, let's try it,
and it's just it's baby steps, even even though it's
(25:46):
at times you know it might not be something she
wants to do, but we know it's something that could
help her, and she we could tell she wants to
do it, but the anxiousness holds her back. So you
really just have to be present with that child to
really understand is are they really scared? Do they not
like it? Do they does this? What is this? What
(26:09):
is their reactions to things?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, she would have like triggers. I remember whenever Parker
was like little, that kid was glued to my side
and to the point where, like a lot of people
would complain, they're like, you always just take photos of Parker. Yeah,
because I have a cat and it's so cute, Like
she was just always right there and I would look
(26:32):
down and she's just looking at me and just smile. Naturally,
I would just like have a bunch of really cute photos.
And because Parker literally whenever she was so little, anytime
I'm in the room, like she's locked on me and
she's like just looking dead at me, just smiling, So
naturally you just take a lot of those photos just
because they were just cute little moments with her.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
But I think early on signs and things that we
saw were things like just you can't compare your kids, right,
but when you have quintuplets, you see a range of
different emotions and feelings and things all day every day. Yes,
you can see that when you've got different maybe you
have six different aged kids, you can see that too,
(27:15):
But when you have five of them the same age,
you really see a change of differences that aren't necessarily
bad or good, just that personality is different than that one,
or she doesn't like the flavor of that than that one.
You know, so you learn your child, and so I
think obviously being present and aware, which therefore means you're
(27:37):
having to be involved with your child, which I think
is number one is being aware of who your child is,
what is it that they like what, and having notions
of man that is something that we can tell really
bothers her or when we're around X y Z she
gets uncomfortable, she would spontaneously like throw up at times,
(28:02):
like a lot of the time.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
She would get a little anxious or like you're in
her room with a lot of people, she would put her.
She would put her your hands over her ears a lot.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
That was when we found out then she had all
the ear.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
But she would but that became like a nervous.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
A nervous like tick or a nervous habit. But then
we found out that she had need to get tubes
in her ears, which that helped, but she still had
that was something that she could like motion to that
we could tell, but she would just like randomly like
throw up. And so we were like, man, I wonder,
like she's overwhelmed with something, you know, and something's bothering her,
(28:44):
and so she would just get like and I would say,
like a lot of kids, and a lot of babies
can get attached really easily, like to their parents, which
is normal, but because it was something we noticed differently
than the others.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
That just goes to show like, you know, people talk
about nature versus nurture, but whenever you have quintuplets, a
lot of things are very present and evident because you
have five babies that were born within four minutes, and
so you can see differences in personality, appearance, You can
(29:21):
see all those things, you know, because you have five
kids that were born like at the same time and
so and for ours, I feel like our kids were
like on very the complete spectrum of super outgoing to
super anxious, anxious. But then you know, you have one
(29:47):
that's like the goofball and wants to make people laugh,
one that's like a drama queen, one that's super sweet.
You know, like every single thing filled those you get
those different, but you weren't really you weren't really parenting
them any differently, but you see their multi different difference
(30:07):
of one because people were just yeah, and that's exactly the.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
Way to sho that God has created each one of
us uniquely in our own image, you know. So so
I think we really just start to see like there
were normal things that I think toddlers and you know,
babies and stuff do because we did have Blake before,
but Blake was a very independent, like could talk to
(30:32):
anybody kind of a child. But you know, we started
to see things that it would just it really would
hold her back from even as a toddler. So we really,
you know, being on a level of like knowing that
our kids from very beginning, something that I never saw
(30:53):
as a crutch. I always thought as a positive, Like
how can I be on top of something, How can
I have What information can I get before something states
or starts so that I can like better help. So
an example, meaning I have quintuplets. I know that they're
going to be behind in some way or not, especially
(31:16):
when it came to like motor skills and like learning
how to you know, like food, feed and all different
because they were very premature. Yeah, so because they were
born at twenty eight weeks in two days, it takes them.
It took them a while to like adapt and catch
up to like where they need it to be. And
they usually say by the age of two two to three,
like they can kind of be back on like their
(31:38):
level grade. I guess you could say. So I always
sought OT and like physical therapy and OT to like
really just be like, hey, come give me some advice,
Come help me learn what does this mean? Come help
like staying on top of those things, which I think
is very beneficial. It's not something that you need to
look at and say like, oh, I have to do
(31:59):
this for my child. No, you're doing this for your
child as a help for yourself, but a help for
you because you know, being a parent, we're trying to
raise six daughters, and quintuplets in the mix. You know,
it's like they're all different, and so nothing's going to
be the same. As much as you try to do
things that things as the same, it's going to be
(32:21):
received and have to be done a little bit different,
you know.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Because even like taking your kid to therapy or like
an OT or something like that, a lot of that
having a child, most of that is more for you.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Yeah, So we took a lot out of that whip,
and I think more than anything, we did go through
OT with her and did like this like kind of
like session to really just see like, what does she
have any struggles with any of her senses? Does she
have sensory issues with any of the five senses? So
(32:57):
we did and it really to her it was just
play time. Yeah, So we did different activities to really
see if she was you know, however, they were assessing
those things, and she passed all those so we knew
that there was nothing sensory that she was struggling with
causing these kind of like anxious times or you know,
(33:22):
anxious scenarios. So with that, going forward, what we said
to the OT was like, listen, you know, she's one
of five babies. At home? What are things that we
can do? Because I'm not there just for her, We're
also there as a parent saying like how do I
(33:42):
what are tools that we can use? So asking questions
and looking for if your child, you know, goes through
those phases and they are not quote unquote approved for
any type of assistance or help in some way, ask
for yourself like, okay, well if I can't you know,
(34:04):
by doctor prescription quote unquote, get X, y Z. What
can you tell me to do as a parent? How
can I help her in these situations? What are tools
that you can give me as a parent to do
or say or whatever? And so I would say more
than anything at that age though she passed those sensory
(34:25):
things like what we took back from those were just
things that they told us as parents. I think we
had like two or three sessions where it was like,
just help us learn how to like do this? You know,
what what is it that we can do differently, especially
in a scenario with five babies where you are spread
out across having to you know, take care of and
(34:47):
you know in the transition of like getting from X
to Y to Z, it's a lot. So how do
we better help her in this situation. A lot of
those tools were to be vocal, so make sure that
you are. Even if they can't verbalize it back to you,
just tell them, give them a heads up. You know,
(35:09):
Parker didn't like change or she didn't like a new
thing scenario, so like.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
We would prepare her.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
We would just tell her like, Okay, well tomorrow we're
gonna go to the zoo. She loves the zoo. She'd
always she wants to go to the zoo, but sometimes
she has a hard time getting out at the zoo
and like that change of like it's a new scenery
and stuff. So prepping her the day before and saying
like you know what to expect, what to expect tomorrow,
and of course we would tell all the kids, but
(35:35):
we were really were really doing it for her, like
are you excited we're gonna go to what animal do
you want to see tomorrow? So kind of getting her
head already thinking about the zoo and what that meant
for the other girls was possibly asking question over question
over question, but for Parker it was her absorbing that
I'm going to be placed in a different atmosphere and
(35:58):
we're helping her be a custom to that's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Pre acclimating her situation and so then you know, then
it's breakfast time.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
It's like, hey, you know, we're eating at breakfast, and
like then you're you're just re engaged.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
A big part of it, it was just like, how
do we how do we implement that into every facet
of her life, whether it's yeah, and going somewhere to eat,
going to a new place, going trying a new food,
you know, going to a new person's house, stuff like that,
and you're just like working with her. We were doing
(36:36):
it in a setting like just like you said, where
you're kind of doing it for all the kids. But
primarily it was for the purpose of preparing Parker ahead
of time, so that she is already mentally prepared going
into something new.
Speaker 4 (36:51):
Yeah, and then as they get older and converbalize and communicate,
it's really teaching them that she has a voice, even
from a young age, you know, because we've got some
that don't shut up, and then we've got one at
the time that was just super quiet and wouldn't speak up,
(37:12):
not saying that was a bad thing or a good
thing or whatever. But for us, we could tell there
was something different in that scenario for her. And so,
you know, one of the tips that the OT gave
us was listen when you go to Chick fil a
or when you go to like when you go out
to eat somewhere and they want to ask you, like
(37:32):
what do y'all want to drink? And everybody, instead of
moms saying, hey, just get six waters, let her say like, Okay, Parker,
what would you like to drink? And let her tell
the person something small, just something super small like that
helped Parker be able to talk to be able to
(37:54):
say like what is it that I want? And how
do I tell a hostess or how do I tell
the way or the waiter? You know, instead of someone
doing it for her. Something so small like that really
helped her be able to learn to And it's not
a big, a big ordeal. It's just sometimes if we
(38:16):
asked her first, we learned we don't ask her first.
We say, I would say like, hey, Adam, what do
you want to drink? Blake, what do you want to drink?
And we go run the table. Okay, Parker, it's your turn.
What would you like to drink? To show her that
it's okay, we're all doing this. Your sisters can vocalize
what they want and you too, so and then it's
it's a lot of praise. Good job, proud of you
(38:38):
for speaking up. I'm proud of you for telling them
what you like, what you want like and super small things.
I mean, we were doing this at like four years old,
preparing verbalizing like what you're doing, trying to bring in
small scenarios where you're asking them and sometimes in a sense,
you have to use your your parents common sense to say, Okay,
(39:02):
we're going to the park and I want her to
wear Tinni shoes, but let's see if we can get
her to decide what shoe to wear. So I'm gonna
give her a shoe and a sandal. We already know
that we want her to wear the Tinnis shoe, but
she I'm going to ask her like I'm gonna let
her speak up for herself and let her hear as
well as and I'm gonna do it with everybody in
(39:24):
the house. And you know, I'm gonna ask her like, Okay, Parker,
what shoes do you want to wear? It to the zoo?
And if she picks the sandalf I have to not
say no, no, that's not the right shoe. You have
to say, like, hmm, do you think your toes are
gonna get dirty? Or maybe something will step on it
or we'll scratch it. Do you think we should wear
the tinny shoe? Trying to say things in a way
(39:46):
to get her to say, that's a good idea. Yes,
let me pick the tennis shoes. So using that verbiage
to make it their idea, so that she's learning, like
how to make a decision and how to say that's
the better decision, just really though, just those three simple things.
(40:07):
Then as she's getting older, you're seeing her get more
comfortable in those scenarios. And then you go and if
you're in line at you know, the restaurant, you're going
to order some food, She'll get more comfortable and just
gonna I want a number four, you know, with a
water or like whatever. Like you gradually will start to
see little improvements over time, and so you have to
(40:31):
to also be aware of good job, Parker, I'm proud
of you for ordering your meal for you, you know,
and a lot of times too, guys. Don't don't get
me wrong, it's not like I do like every single time,
but a lot of times when we need those moments
because sometimes I'm like, Okay, give me, give me one
thing for all of them, you know, give me this
(40:51):
big thing, and I'm gonna give me this thirty piece nugget.
I'm gonna share across all. So I'm not letting them
all order every single time because that might be more expensive.
But there are different windows of whenever we're constantly still
preparing and telling them. Even to this day, we still
use those tools a lot to that.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
So, yeah, one other resource, and this is not like
an ad or a sponsor or anything like that. It's
just some really good friends of ours, husband and wife,
Joshua and Christy Straub. They're both psychologists. They have a
lot of books out. They have a podcast called Famous
at Home, which we've mentioned them before. They've even helped us,
(41:31):
Danielle and I personally through like difficult times in relationship
and trying to work through different things. They're just awesome,
like the most solid people you could ever come across.
But they have a series of books. There's two of
them right here. It's and I pulled them up my
pad just to pull them out. There's one's called what
(41:52):
Am I feeling. And there's a whole like feelings chart
that's in the in the back of the book that
you can pull out just to get your kid like
articulating what they're feeling in that moment and stuff where
they're either lashing out or withdrawing or stuff like that.
And it's a chart that they can like point to
and stuff if they can't you know, verbalize what they're
(42:13):
feeling with what they're feeling at the time, and it
just allows that open dialogue of just working through, you know,
whatever they may be struggling with at the time. And
there's another book it's called What Do I Do With Worry?
And it's these are like children's books that you can
sit at bedtime and just like read through and it
just helps the kid process like feelings and how to
(42:36):
work through that, whether it's worry or anxiety or anger
or anything like that. These are great books to pick
up if you're, you know, you're a parent of a
younger child that's like just struggling with emotions and stuff.
I recommended it to a good friend of mine just
here recently. She was like struggling with, you know, her
(42:57):
daughter just kind of lashing out and I'm like, hey,
and I recommended the books, and she actually reached out
to me. I'm on Monday this week and she's like, hey,
I just want to let you know, like I ordered
those books that you were telling me about, and we've
been going through it with our daughter. They have worked tremendously,
and she was just like almost to the point where
like she wanted to start crying. She's like, these have
(43:19):
helped so much. And so if you're a parent of
a younger child, like one hundred percent, I totally recommend it.
They're solid people, good messaging. It's not going to you know,
push any kind of crazy ideology or anything on you.
It's just great just to get your kids open up
about their feelings.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
I also think some kids who can't you know, possibly
verbalize or really know how to like say what they're
feeling or know what they're feeling or what they really
even like, So when it came to, you know, trying
to get the kids like involved in sports or extracurricular things,
(43:58):
it's kind of like try. We tried a couple differently
what we drive gymnastics, and it would be hard for
Parker to like, you know, like go in there even
though she loved it so much was hard, and then
we tried dance and that just like filled filled her
joy without her even really realizing it. She got to
get dressed up in a tucu and a pink and
(44:20):
that's not for every kid, but I will tell you
that was a life changing moment for seeing Parker find something.
And honestly, I hate that she's not in dance anymore
because she likes the other sports too, but she's very
good at a lot of things. But when she got
into dance and was in dance for a while, that
(44:40):
really opened up her confidence of I really like this,
I want to do it, and I enjoy how it
makes me feel when I'm doing it. Therefore made her
do it again, which kept And then you have parents
on the other side, us saying you know, you know,
(45:00):
we're so proud of you for going out there today.
Like those those encouraging reinforcement words are so powerful at
a young age, I mean, the rest of their life.
It is always telling them you're proud of them, and just.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Be careful to like draw that line of like not
focusing on performance, focusing on just like how it makes
you feel and did you enjoy it, you did, you
like it, You're you know, you're and just giving them
that positive reinforcement through it. Yeah, because it's not about
not necessarily making it about how good she was doing
(45:32):
it that I'm so proud.
Speaker 4 (45:35):
I'm so proud that you got out there, even if
you fell you know. I remember one time she fell down,
which this is ironic because this is what her book
is about. She fell down and she was so worked
up because it wasn't perfect, but a little bit of
pep talk, and I was just like, you know, it
doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that we're not perfect. We
(45:57):
go out there and we try and don't do you
want to get back there? Do you are you happy
doing this? Are you happy twirling around? And blah blah blah,
you know, so those things and it was like, okay, well,
let's all it takes is to try. We all fall
down and to really have conversations later about like, you know,
even if it's not in the moment or you weren't
(46:18):
there when that happened, or it's about to teaching your
kids that, like listen, mom and dad aren't perfect either.
Like so if you can find some type of like
relatable scenario like when Blake was being really upset and
like not wanting to switch schools and having to meet
new friends and so me trying to get on a
level and being like, you know, let me give you
(46:38):
a scenario about me and that same thing, like having
to leave, having to have new friends, like so trying
to find something where they can relate to let you
know that, like, man, I got you, Like I've walked
through this before, Like let me relate to you in
a way that you can understand, but not in a
way to make you think that we are weak in
(46:59):
a sense, but that it's okay because we've made it
through it.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Yeah, I mean it's natural feelings.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Obviously, you don't want to talk about those more intimate
things with like a very young child, but like yeah, Blake,
she's a teenager, and like you can kind of give
those scenarios and stuff that you've learned from growing up.
One thing is you don't want your child caught up
and putting so much weight into receiving the approval of
(47:29):
their parent. You know, a thing that I tell the
girls a lot is you know, there's nothing that you
can do good or bad. There's there's nothing that you
can do to make Dad love you any less. And
then they're like, yeah, but there's also there's nothing that
you can do to make me love you anymore. Right,
(47:51):
I love you this much and there's nothing that you
can do to change that either way. I'm always gonna
love you this much. And for them just to like realize,
like and not worry about, Oh, Dad's not.
Speaker 4 (48:06):
Don't have to prove anything to me and you don't
have and there's nothing you can do that's going to
make me not love you. You can tell me whatever
and it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
It just gives then confidence.
Speaker 4 (48:17):
Yeah, you do not have to achieve the top, because
it's not about us achieving the top, you know, Can
you strive for it? Can you set goals? Absolutely, But
we're not going to love you less because you didn't
make a mark, you know.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
I mean just like you know, this past year, just
getting Blake involved, you know, she's loved tennis and getting
her involved in and starting you know, tournament play and
tennis and stuff and entering Honestly, it's a it's a
very scary thing. Like as a teenager starting your first tournament,
you don't know what to expect school tournament, Like you
don't know who who you're up against and stuff like that.
(48:52):
There's gonna be kids that are way older than you.
There's gonna be kids on younger than you. It's it
brings anxiety and just to convey to her walking through it,
knowing she's a little bit worked up, knowing she may
be uncomfortable with this and putting yourself out there, but
you know, just reassuring her through the process of I'm
(49:15):
not I am not looking for you to win this tournament,
just like you want to play all My only expectation
for you out there is to try hard and to
get experience, and I don't care how this goes. Yeah,
it's gonna It'll be great. If you like win a
win a match or something like that, that's great. That's
(49:36):
just that's a plus. But if you if you lose,
you know what, that's great too because you learn something
and what are we going to learn from that loss?
You know, it's only going to make you get better,
it's only going to give you more experience. It's only
going to prepare you for the future. Like, we have
no expectations going into this, so it's good.
Speaker 4 (49:57):
Yeah, So we got a lot of questions about could
we touch base on give points on stuff on like
what we did to kind of like where people start
to see like so much change and like Parker, you know,
following our story and whatever. So hopefully this was helpful.
I know some people told people that we would talk
about this on the podcast, and I'm glad we're talking
(50:18):
about now because it'll be a good follow up. So
you know, I'm I'm sure there's an abundant amount of
imperfect parenting advice that we could get because guess what,
we're not perfect, but we learn and we get to
experience a high level of things every single day.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
And these are the things that worked for us.
Speaker 4 (50:39):
Yeah, so we're not giving you like pro tips, We're
giving you Busby pro tips because this is what we've
walked through, this is what we've learned, this is how
we've dealt and this is how we got through it.
So hopefully you know, this information that we're sharing can
help you all that have been asking you know, how
to what are tips that you have for kids who
(50:59):
struggle with anxiety? Yeah, I mean we have specially at
a young age. We have six kids that you know,
they're very they're very well rounded and confident kids, and
you know, there're a lot we get a lot of
compliments from other parents, just like how like adjusted they
are to like new people and new new scenarios and stuff,
and so all we can tell them is like, these
(51:20):
are the things that we've implemented and we've learned over
the years. And you know, hopefully, you know, you may
have heard something that have spoke to you or may
have resonated and take it own it, you know, steal
it from us and see if it works. But thank
you guys for tuning in to apppisode thirty nine. Yep,
(51:40):
more than reality podcast. We'll see you in the next one. Hi, guys,
all right, we love you guys.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
I don't stop
Popular Podcasts
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com