August 28, 2025 • 47 mins
In this episode of More Than Reality, Adam and Danielle Busby open up about the challenges of parenting through big life changes. From Riley’s struggle with anxiety and starting a new school, to navigating yet another move, the Busbys share how they lean on faith, vulnerability, and intentional parenting to guide their six daughters through uncertain seasons.
You’ll hear honest stories about:
Whether you’re a parent navigating transitions or simply love following the Busby family’s journey beyond OutDaughtered, this episode will encourage and inspire you.
✨ Sponsored by Cozy Earth – Get 40% off with code MORETHAN at cozyearth.com
🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe for more weekly episodes of More Than Reality!
You’ll hear honest stories about:
- Helping kids cope with anxiety and change
- Parenting six unique personalities (times five with quintuplets!)
- Teaching kids tools for confidence and resilience
- Why vulnerability matters in family life
- How faith and prayer keep the Busbys grounded
Whether you’re a parent navigating transitions or simply love following the Busby family’s journey beyond OutDaughtered, this episode will encourage and inspire you.
✨ Sponsored by Cozy Earth – Get 40% off with code MORETHAN at cozyearth.com
🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe for more weekly episodes of More Than Reality!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Whenever you face something like this, especially if it's something
new with your children, your instinct is like want to
get in there and just fix it.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
But that's not necessarily the right thing to do.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
It's like, how do you equip your kid in order
to be able to overcome that on their own? And
you know, I think that's where probably a lot of
parents get it wrong.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Wow, Hello, Hello, the Busbies are present.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, this is more than Reality podcast, Episode forty seven,
don't ask me. Yeah, Danielle, it's just right before I
hit hit start and she's like, forty episode forty five.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I was like, baby, it's forty seven. Close, House Close.
We're rolling through what's the latest, What's what's the We
still haven't found our little connet cards that we had
to They're still they're packed aways in some body literally
like one day at a time, like trying to slowly
like tackle a section of the house. And the problem
(01:27):
is is that you still live in the house, and
then yeah, the kids are like at school now and
so it's a little bit easier than the day, but
there's still things we're trying to manage with the other
house and get in on the market and still like,
oh my god, it's what's today, Yeah, and I have
a school meeting today. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, I think I think I think those connect cards
could possibly be in my box of books.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
But I'll just whatever question.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Whenever we moved, like, I had big bookshelf like with
glass doors and everything, and I had all my books
like up on the top shelf.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I love how you always complain how I give too
many details and stuff, and when you start talking, you
give like all these unnecessary details. But on the podcast
but not.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, yeah, but in this office whenever, in this house,
whenever we moved in, we put that bookshelf down in
like the seating area, in the fourier seating area area
of the house. And so I don't have a bookshelf
in here. So I haven't even opened that box, and
I think they might be in there, because I think
(02:39):
I've opened every other box.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I'm not sure it's called a bookshelf, but it's okay.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I made it a bookshelf, and I had all my
camera Like I need to get another shelf in here
so I could put like camera lenses and stuff on,
because now they're my desk is once again just like
the holding spot of all my lenses. Like whenever I
do a project, like I have to go and shoot
off site or whatever, like I pull everything out of
(03:06):
my bag pilot on my desk, only take off what
I need for that shoot, and then everything else stays
on my desk and right now I don't have a
place to organize that and put it away, and so
it all just like stays there. And it annoys me
because like three weeks ago, my desk was fairly clean.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Does it annoy you? It does? This is the cleanest
you've ever been. Well, still annoys me. It's good to
hear them. Yeah, stuff in places, so list don't go
there and get on your nurse. Yeah really so last
week especially, I need you to say that again my office,
(03:46):
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Speaker 1 (03:49):
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Speaker 2 (03:55):
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Speaker 1 (03:58):
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Speaker 2 (04:04):
I usually wake up and go like five am.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
But whenever I got home, I was like, what the
heck is going on? Because one of the coins is
in bed with you in my spot, like cuddled up
with my sheets, and so like I tapped in, y'all.
I was like, is she sick? Like what's going on?
She's like no, she just wanted to get in the bed.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
She wanted to It's like seven o'clock, it was. It
was right before seven. It was like time to get up.
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Speaker 1 (06:00):
Week Towards the end of the episode got a little
emotional about just like feelings and just like the emotions
of starting a new school starting like living.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
In a new area and well and experiencing and walking
through like something that you've never experienced with a specific
child before, like and so like if you didn't listen
to the last episode. We kind of got in a
topic of talking about, you know, it was the first
week of school and how things were, and then you know,
(06:34):
Riley doesn't like change, but once she like, for instance,
first day of school, she usually gets worked up for
first day of school, but then by the end of
school day she's like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, I was just that kid that she has to
have everything figured out yea, and she does black and white,
and she doesn't like, you know, you disrupting her schedule,
her idea of how the day is going to go.
And so whenever she gets put in a new situation,
like going to a new school where she it's just
so many unknowns there, new kids, new teacher, new classroom,
(07:09):
new school, it disrupts her world.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, and this time it was a lot heavier on her.
And something I feel like she'd never really fully experienced
was trying to understand I'm nervous about this. I don't
know what it's like, but now it's like physically affecting me.
And so she just had these major like stomach pains
and all that, and you know, a course of like
(07:37):
two days, it was like okay, like she's clearly experiencing
some anxiety. And then on that after the first day,
so she was fine the first day of school. It
really was like I think she was holding it in
and kind of like secretly maybe struggling, but didn't really
express it until like later that night after school and
(07:58):
just like prepping for like the next day. And so
you can go back and listen to episode the episode
Overwhelmed before. There's things that you know, we try to
do as parents, but we don't always know what to do.
And I think, you know, these these moments for me
specifically are pretty heavy because one they're emotional and I'm
(08:22):
not really an emotional person. And two, being a mom
is always a priority. But also when you get into
these levels of experiencing things that you've never stepped into
with a child and you don't know how to help
her or him. And I also didn't grow up with
(08:47):
that kind of like mothering type of care in a sense,
or we don't talk about feelings or emotions or yeah,
or just kind of that. Yeah, So it was it's
kind of like a breakthrough for like me and her
kind of you know, and I know in the past
we've had lots to talk about like Parker on out
(09:08):
daughter and said, we talked about Parker when she was
a lot younger with anxiety and stuff, and she's really
worked through that and knows how to use tools and
really just like vocalize, vocalize those things, so doing everything
that we normally know how to do. But this case
it was just very different in I don't know how
(09:30):
much I went into detail. I just know that I
ended up being emotional.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yeah, I mean, whenever you face something like this, especially
if it's something new with your children, your instinct is
like the one in there want to get in there
and just fix it and like want to you know,
just like work through it as fast as can as
you can to make those feelings or emotions go away.
(09:54):
But that's not necessarily the right thing to do. It's
you know, how do how do you equip your kid
in order to be able to overcome that on their own?
And you know, I think that's where probably a lot
of parents get it wrong, because they don't.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Want whatever their kids hurting, so they instantly tried to
like band aid and fix.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
It, and yeah, what's going to be the quick fix
to make them stop feeling this right now? And that's
not always the best thing. You know, you want your
kids to feel safe.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I think every situation in every in our world, like
we see different circumstances handled differently by six different children's emotions.
Like so we see on a broad span one action
that we might do in six different feelings in six
(10:47):
different ways. So we are always seeing a great load
of what how does one deal with this situation? Because
it's time six, right, but it's not necessarily time six.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It's i mean the literally our kids what could be
because they have six kids pretty much, and especially whenever
you're talking about the coins, because you know, it's very
unique circumstance. It's five kids that were born within four
minutes of each other, and their emotions you know, is
on every end of the spectrum really, you know, from
(11:26):
you know, super super anxious in situations two I could
care less, I could care less, you know, to type
A to just super happy and nothing really phases or
two you know, very emotional, bit up then also like
very goofy and just wants to make people laugh. I mean,
(11:46):
so it's just like all over the place, and so
you know, it's a it's a test for us as
parents because like you're navigating and you're having to communicate
completely different across the board, but you know, there is
similarities in the way that you can you can prepare
your kids for situations and set them up for success
(12:08):
and set them up to prepare them for you know,
in the event of anxiety or just fear or whatever.
I mean, we want to raise our kids so that
they have confidence in situations. And you know, we don't
don't let their don't let their emotions really get the
best of them, and teach them how to work through
(12:29):
those emotions in the moment instead of just relying on
you or running to mom every single time or running
to Dad every single time. How can they work through
that and are equipped and have the tools to work
through that.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, And I mean I think one of the the
more the older and older, you know, especially the Quins
get any I mean, even Blake, I think you're parenting.
It's never going to stay the same as they mature,
and as they get older, you have to learn to
adapt to their adjustments as well. And like overall, we
(13:07):
are a Jesus family, and we have a form of
discipline in our house and rules in our house, and
those family things don't change, but how your child responds
to different things, you might have to adjust. You don't
change the rules, you adjust. How do I help them
(13:29):
understand the rule in this situation, because you know one
of them is going to receive it and understand it
and the other one might need it interpret it a
different way. So same thing when we talk about like
academics and dyslexia and stuff, and you know, don't compare
your kids and all this, It goes the same way
with like their emotions, you know, because academic and dyslexia,
(13:52):
because we have some of their dyslexic like you. It's
basically they struggle to read because they don't their brain
doesn't see it the way that we see it. And
so I tell the other girls, like they just need
to learn a different language. They need to learn it
the way that they can read it. And once they've
learned those tools and how they can see it and
(14:14):
understand it and read it, then they learn how to read.
It's the same thing when it comes to the discipline
and the parenting and the raising and the teaching of
the kids. It's like this is our busby rules right
in our house. But this child I have to maybe
(14:36):
be a little bit more firm on this, or maybe
I have to be a little bit more descriptive, or
maybe they just need more time. And I think that's
the beautiful thing that we get to witness. And it's
hard because you're overwhelmed a lot because you have to adapt,
adapt to all of those levels all day, you know,
(15:00):
and we too are also human who also have heaviness,
who also have weight and anxiety and stressors and stuff,
and so it is. It's not an easy life, but
it's so rewarding and beautiful to see one. I think
if you're yourself and you're working through a trial or
(15:22):
a hard season or anxiety, and you walk through that
and you overcome it, you know what that feels like.
You feel a sense of relief. And so to teach
your kids how to overcome and walk through a trial
or a hard situation or something they don't understand, or
(15:43):
helping them read and you see that growth step, that
is what parenting is all about. Like it's teaching them
how to better their own skills and how to use
them to apply for life. For life, we're raising kids
to be able to do things on their own, because
(16:04):
you know, they're with us for eighteen years, and then
there are adults and go out and it's like we
can't just keep putting band aids and just telling them
that that doesn't matter, or don't help them with this
or that. It's like we've got to teach. As a parent,
that is a major role of like teaching your kids
(16:25):
how to handle situations. And you know, it's hard because
I grew up just dealing with things and having to
figure things out on my own and not knowing if
it was right or wrong.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
But that instilled a sense of like independence there right
where you know you were you had no choice but
to work through it yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah, and I think there is a lot of, you know,
baggage that comes with that later in life. I mean, yeah,
for sure, there's a lot of baggage. So especially when
I'm in a moment with you know, Riley, and really
what she wants she just wanted me to like lay
with her, and she's not a cuddler by any means,
(17:11):
and like she just like held my hand like the
whole time, and like when I started to feel that
like sense of like relief from her, like squeeze, I
was like, okay, like she's you know, feeling calmer, like
she's soothed. We're soothing this. We've talked about this, We've
prayed through this, and reminding her like maybe like no
(17:32):
matter what, you are never alone, like God is always
with you. And I told her if you need to,
you know, just close your eyes at your desk or
just put your head down for a moment and just pray,
God give me courage. I'm super nervous today, or I
need help, or if you need to excuse yourself and
go to the bathroom, or you need to go up
(17:53):
to the accounts or at school, like it's okay. Like
teaching our kids to be vocal for themselves and to
be able to express the feelings, it's powerful and it's
gonna make them stronger in the end, which is rewarding
as a parent to see your child be able to
(18:13):
work through something. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not
like you do this one time and they're gonna remember it. Well.
You know, it takes work, and it takes you as
a parent being mindful of you know, how can I
now help the next time? You know? And so like
Riley came home after tennis last night and said, Mom,
so we're gonna move again. And I was like, yeah, baby.
(18:36):
I was in Parker's like yeah, remember, Riley, we're just
in this house for a lease or a rental until
we find another house and we'll sell the other house
and then buy a house. And she's like, so we're
gonna move again, and I was like, yeah, Riley. I
was like, but don't worry. It's we have time to
adjust where it's not gonna be right now. We're not
going anywhere. We're gonna stay in this house for a year.
(18:56):
We're gonna stay in the same school. So sometimes they
just need a little bit more of like that affirmation
because change is scary and change is hard. And I
agree with that, and I think what's also beautiful. I
had a day with my best friend yesterday and we
were just kind of catching up and I was sharing
these things with her and she was like, you know,
(19:21):
when I was telling her a bother, She's like, something
that was so good that you are telling me is
that you also told your child that you too, as
a mom struggle at times. You two have to know
that you can't do it alone, you too have to
lean on Jesus to give you comfort and strength. And courage,
and she's like, that's what we need to be telling
(19:43):
our kids, Like, you know, we don't have it figured out.
We are not your savior. You know, God is our
savior and more than anything, I have to and I
tell and I've told Riley, and Riley you can have
like a higher level, real like real conversations with and
real like polytical and like, I don't know, it's just
(20:05):
it's it's so it's just different, like she's it's it's
it's a different level. And so yeah, because she thinks
really deep on like what does that mean and how
do I use that? But anyway, telling your kids this
goes into a lot of things about parenting, like telling
(20:26):
your kids like you mess up and when you mess
up that you apologize, just as you need to teach
them when they mess up, they need to apologize. And
if they see Adam and I being a tiff or something,
it's it's okay in a sense. I mean, we're not
going to like argue fight in front of the kids,
but we're not going to not show that we disagree
(20:49):
on things because that's normal and that's okay. But we
also come to a conclusion and make sure the kids
are clear and like, hey, I know Daddy and I
don't agree on that, but we know that we're going
to come and talk about this together because we need
to be on the same page. And so being perfect
is a lie. And I think that we have to
(21:16):
do better at being more real in the flesh to
our children, to our friends, to our community. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, that carries over through like every relationship that you have,
and you know, even just like meeting new friends and stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
And you know, I mean one aspect.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Of it is like, you know, whenever we we'll start
a new small group, sorry whatever, it's all over that
bill though, whenever we you know, situations like whenever we
start a new small group and you're you're faced with
(21:59):
like a group of people that you don't really know
that you know, those barriers are still up because you
know everybody in the room is wondering, can I trust
this person? You know what one thing that always works
is leading through vulnerability. And you know you're never going
to tear those tear those walls down unless you become
(22:23):
vulnerable and you open up and you tell about your
struggles and you you know, you give a relatable moment
and that's whenever those walls start to come down. And
so yeah, I mean your kids always thinking that you
never have an issue, You never have a problem. Mommy
and Daddy never argue like that's that's a lie.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, that's not real. There are two different individuals and
there is no one that's going to be just like you. Yeah,
I mean they're gould create you individually, differently and unique.
And I mean even within you know the household of
just having siblings and stuff, and it's like, well, I'm
trying to think of example, like well, how come she
can't see that? Or how comes she doesn't read that right?
(23:07):
Or how comes she doesn't know the answer to that
math question or how and it's like whoa, We all
process differently, like you are you? Yeah? And she is she? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Like just a few weeks ago, Danielle and I were
having like a discussion, a little bit of an argument.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Just I mean it's natural because we both work from home.
We told you all that we are very different processors
and communicators in love language.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
We both run our businesses from our home, which I
do other stuff outside of home too, but a lot
of my stay I do in home, and you know,
and a lot of that stuff overlaps, and we work together,
and so we're trying to navigate schedules and works, you know,
home schedules, work schedules, schedules with the kids and their activities,
(23:55):
and also you know, if there's stuff that we have
to collaborate on with work, it all has to work
in a sense.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
And sometimes those schedules.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Get out of whack or whatnot, and you know, you
just assume that the other knows, and you know, if
if a ball drops or whatever.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
So a few weeks ago, we had like an argument
over just like scheduling.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
And the kid.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
The kids weren't the kids weren't in the room, and
but I know Riley heard it because she was like
right upstairs in the playroom.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
That's just all open to them. When I told you
you're smarter than that, I don't know, but.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You know, so whenever I was putting Riley to bed
that night, she you know, looked visibly upset, and she's like,
I heard you and mommy fighting, And so had to
like sit down with her and like kind of talk
with her through it about you know, hey, where mommy
and Daddy work together, we're with each other twenty four
(25:02):
to seven. Do you think that we will never have
a disagreement? Was like, but that does not affect you
or how much mommy and daddy love each other or
anything like that, Like you don't have to worry about that,
and and just kind of talking with her through that
(25:23):
to just to show that, like, Okay, it's normal to
have disagreements. I was like, but mommy and daddy work
through that and we talk. You know, sometimes the conversations
may get a little higher elevated, but we work through
it and we're fine afterwards. But you know, just because
you hear that, and you hear you know, we're having
a disagreement, doesn't mean that because they have kids. You know,
(25:47):
they have friends or whatever whose parents are divorced and stuff,
and you know they see that and so it strikes
a little fear in them. But to constantly reassure in
your kids like no, like that's that doesn't happen in
this house. Like we're Jesus family, and Jesus is the
center of this family and then the center of mom
(26:07):
and dad's relationship, and you know, we're gonna work through that.
And you know, whenever it comes to like hearing about
your friend's parents divorce or whatever, like like that is
not even a mommy and daddy's vocabulary. And we're going
to work through those problems.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
So all you public tabloid stories, it's not in our vocabulary.
It's not in our busbye book.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, so much speculation about everything, but yeah, you know,
that's just one of those things.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I mean, you just got to talk to your kids
and work. You got to give your space for that too. Man,
you gotta just like everything else in life, there's never
enough time. But when it comes to being a parent,
you've got to give time to your kids. Like it's
you'll never get it back. And I mean even as
his parents and we've got six kids, Blake's fourteen quins
(27:01):
or ten, you get these reminders all the time of
like old photos or some this or that, and it's
like time goes by fast. It really does. But you've
got every single day. You've got to give you your
kids some quality time every day, every day. I don't
care if it's two minutes or twenty five minutes or
two hours, it's important because whether you get home late
(27:27):
from work, I don't know what your schedule looks like,
but I think giving your child quality time is going
to really build security in their little comfort zone of
you know, the house. And like, you got to give
(27:47):
time to your spouse, you got to give time to
your kids, You got to give time to your community,
You got to give time to your family and your friends.
You know, there's a lot of things on the schedule
that you got to give time to. But what you've
been and gifted with if you have children is that
is the biggest gift and that is the biggest blessing.
But the biggest responsibility that you have as a parent
(28:12):
is to raise that child right. And not all families are,
you know, the same. And there is brokenness and we
understand that, but I also know that within brokenness, God
also brings healing. And so if you were in a
(28:34):
walking through of separation restoration, like whatever that season may be,
maybe you're you know, wanting to have a family, or
you're looking for your spouse, like God, if you can,
if you can take your heart and grasp onto him first,
I promise you the life that you expected is going
(28:57):
to be something different because his way is better. Yeah, yeah, Forced, Frank,
you will ways better love Force Frank Man. I just
loved him.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yeah, I mean, Riley started her new season of tennis yesterday,
which is a rally topic today, and it was a
completely new I can never wear white, like three new
coaches and you know, her, her other coach that she's
been with for the last few years went on to
(29:33):
bigger and better things, and and so she was going
into this brand new class with new teachers, new coaches,
and obviously, you know, you just wonder how she's going
to react to that because it's something new, and so
Riley doesn't have this figured out yet because she doesn't
know these coaches. But she did great, and she just
kind of put herself out there and she had fun.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
But she's not only and just had that one coach, yeah,
the last two seasons.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
So but she's you know, I left room for you know,
conversation afterwards and stuff. And then she, yeah, she started
asking about the house and are we going to move again?
And you know, we started having this conversation about like
you know, she's she's telling me, but I was like, Riley,
we're going to be in this house for at least
a year. I said, you don't really have to worry
(30:19):
about that. We were not even completely settled in this
house yet, so don't even don't worry about that right now.
But because she was just talking about, well, I don't
know if I want to move again, because now we
now I've made these friends here. And I was like, Riley,
this is the exact thing that you were talking about
just a few weeks ago. Whenever we were moving here
was you don't want to you don't want to leave
(30:40):
your friends back home. But the second you got here,
you made new friends. And now you're already talking about
don't want to leave these new friends. And so you know,
you got put in a new situation and you overcame
and you made new friends there, and that's.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
A big deal.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
And she, you know, she's thinking about things in a
different way, and she's like, oh, yeah, okay. She's like, well,
what about next year, I'm gonna have to go to
a new school. So she goes immediately goes right to
another thing. And I was like, yeah, but you're gonna
go to middle school. So every elementary school in our
whole area, like all those friends and stuff that you
(31:19):
made at this elementary school, everybody's going to go to
the other school. So you're gonna have the same friends
at the other school and stuff, and she's like, okay,
but where's that school at.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
She's just on to the next question. It's just so
I know, it's she keeps you on your toes. Sure
she's got to have it all figured out.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
And so she's that kid and it has to have
everything figured out. She's gonna have a million questions and
you got to make sure you answer them right because
if you don't, she's gonna call you out on her.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
She's so much like me, And that's like that answer
wasn't good enough because you didn't explain it right, or.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
You know, like some of the other kids, like you
may just give like a very high level answer and
they're like Okay, they're fine with it or whatever and
just on to the next thing. But Riley, she was
gonna sit there and she's going to think about it.
We like, and she's going to have a follow up.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I love it, but also also what you just said
about she always has to have it figured out, which
I feel like we all want life figured out and
we're never going to have it figured out. And a
lot of our motto has been we'll figure it out,
figure it out, figured it out, We figured it out
(32:35):
as we go and we do. But it's another one
of those parenting things that I think. You know that
we are Christians, so we we have a place in
our heart and like a conviction and something else that
we decide to help us make decisions. And it's not
(32:56):
just our own self, it is we pray about things,
we read scripture, we look for discernment, we you know,
coincide with like other couples if we have hard decisions
that we need to make and stuff, and so being
able to express your kids like yeah, you know, I
mean obviously as parents we are not going to like
(33:20):
and still fear all the time in our kids. But
in Riley's situation where like we'll move again, and it's like, listen,
we don't know what. We don't have to have that
figured out right now, you know, we don't have to
and we don't know where God's going to place us.
And really trying to teach them too that we don't
(33:40):
have it, we don't have to have it figured out.
But you also have to make sure that you're still
teaching your kids like we are secure no matter what,
this family will always be enough and like God is
enough and it doesn't matter what the house looks like
it doesn't matter what the asthetics are. It's not about
(34:02):
those things, because a lot of like worldly things and oh,
I want a bigger house or I want this, or
I want a mansion, and you know, all kids go
through that, so just really trying to teach them. And
I think all this has really been like a humbling
experience for us and them, big change and just really
leaning on, like going through seasons of like not necessarily
(34:26):
knowing the purpose, but we're following the call. And so
as our kids and as the quints are getting older
and really understanding like more of like what faith is
or prayer, it just brings on other levels of questions
that once again bring on great conversations. And so I
(34:49):
don't know, it's we're in a phase two where I
can see now if I look back from like a
year plus ago and thinking, man, God really needed us
to adapt and change our life schedules, and we have abided.
(35:11):
And it hasn't been easy, and I think still kind
of like struggling through some of this change. But it
is evident that as we are approaching these you know,
like tween preteen age with the quints, like presentness is
is needed more than anything. Yeah, because they just I
(35:36):
don't even know how to explain it. It's just really hard.
And I think that they need us more present as
they're going through, you know, the big phase of life change.
One we drastically changed home city all that stuff. But
two they're going to be approaching you know, hormones and
all that, and that's just a that's a lot. So
(36:00):
they but what that's doing to their bodies internally is
is confusing them. And then they might be emotional about
something and don't know how to explain it, or they
might want to cry and don't know why. Like I
remember I remember this with Blake when one day and
she just said, I'll never forget this because like the
first time that was just like and I was never
emotional or had like a mom said come cry with me,
(36:21):
and I just said, what's wrong. She's like, I don't know.
And I said, okay, well that's okay, Like do we
just want to cry? And she says yes, And I
was like, then let's just cry, Like let's just let's cry.
It's okay. Like let's just sit here. I'll sit next
to you, I'll hold you, I'll give you a hug. Whatever,
let's just cry. And so that's the that's the phase
that we're walking into where they just don't know what
(36:43):
they need, but they need they need mom, and they're
going to need dad, you know. And so I'm very
thankful that we are here. We've walked through a big
season of like change, and we're not even on the
other side of that, I don't think, And I think
God's still molding something out of this, and I'm hopeful
(37:06):
and I know that the way that I don't have
it figured out. But what I do know is God
has made it so evident to me his calling and
his path that I know and if we are obedient
to stay on that path, it will be beautiful and
(37:28):
better than we can expect on the end. So we're
in that walking phase. I don't have it figured out,
but we lean on Him for how do we do this?
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Yeah, and also like kind of communicate just kind of
just communicating that to your kids of like why we're
making these decisions and why you know, we're attentive to
God's direction and what that looks like to us and
stuff like that, just so they understand and and get
(38:01):
it and and want to know more about that. And
want to ask questions about that and like what does
that look like? I mean, just even today like reading
my Bible and just came across this passage and you know,
it's like a revelation of you know, so many people
sending us messages and stuff or making comments and stuff
on our on our social media about like why we moved,
(38:24):
and people just don't understand it.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
And like we've had.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Multiple multiple messages of just like talking and podcast about
just like talking through you know, our motives and what
we're doing and why we're moving. And a big part
of that is stuff that a lot of people just
don't understand as far as God, you know, directing this
(38:49):
move and stuff. And you know, I read this passage
today and it just like kind of shines a light on,
you know, the criticism that we receive from saying that
we're open to God's direction and we're going to move
when you know, God wants us to move and we're
going to go in the direction and we're going to
we're going to follow, you know, that light whenever he's
(39:13):
saying take a step, you know, we're going to try
to be open to take that step. But it's in
first Corinthians. It's chapter two fourteenth or sixteen, and it says,
you see, if God's spirit is not living inside people,
they they can't believe any message from God. They can't
understand what God wants to teach them. They think it's
(39:36):
all stupid. You see, the Holy Spirit is the only
one that can help people understand the things of God.
People that have God's spirit can think about all these
things and understand them. But people that haven't got God's
spirit can never understand the people that have got his spirit,
(39:56):
God says. God says this in his book. Nobody can
know what God is thinking. Nobody can try to tell
him the right way to think. But the Holy Spirit
is in us, so we can think the same way
that Jesus Christ thinks. And you know, a lot of
people that just don't have that understanding, don't have that
(40:17):
same faith, that don't don't believe what we believe, just
don't understand it. And so they think that, oh, y'all
just talk yourself in circles and you haven't explained why
you moved. We have explained why we moved. You know,
people that just don't have that level of understanding, you know,
may not be religious or may not have the Holy
(40:39):
Spirit within them just don't understand it. And that's I mean,
that's okay. But you know, this is what we've tried
to explain, and this is the direction that we've let
God lead us.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Well, and hopefully, hopefully some I guess the hope would
be if things that we are saying bother you because
they don't make sense and you don't understand it, My
hope would be is that you don't bash it, but
you say, I wonder what they're talking about, and go
(41:15):
look it up and go seek the Bible. Go read John,
go read. I mean, you can start anywhere in the Bible.
But like there are yes, we live in a country
of freest speech and all the things, and we're gonna
get bad with good and good with bad. Right. But
I think in an easy interpretation of that is saying,
(41:38):
we as Christians have a faith in the Holy Spirit
within us that dwells within us, and it helps us
do life. It helps us do life. So you who
don't understand that, who don't have the Holy Spirit within them,
it's like me asking a color blind person what color
(41:59):
is this? Right, It's like walking in the forest without
a compass. Yeah, so we understand that you might not
understand it. But my hope is that don't necessarily bash
it or run from it. But we talked about this
a while back. Conversate, conversate, you don't have to agree,
(42:22):
have conversations about it. Ask. You know, a lot of
times we get an abundant amount of messages. We cannot
keep up with all of that, but we do see
these messages coming in, and I hope that we too
can do a better job at you know, and asking
God like help us to use our words to speak
(42:45):
to the people that are listening to this, because I
know I'm not perfect and I'm a verbal processor, so
I talk and then I hear it.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Yeah, but it's just it was actually comforting to read that, Yeah,
because and then hopefully that brings you comfort like somebody
that does walk in faith and let lets the Holy
Spirit guide you in your decisions and your direction and
stuff like that, because it specifically says here in the Bible.
You know, the people that don't have that withinside within them,
(43:17):
whenever they hear that, they think it's stupid. They think
you're stupid because you're doing these things that they don't understand.
And I mean the Bible says.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
That, and I think it's as stupid.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Well that's my I did a version of this. Uh,
it doesn't stupid, playing English version or something like that.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
But it was like it was like teen speak.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
It's the one referencing today.
Speaker 4 (43:54):
I mean, it's very it's a simple it's a simple
way to I mean I literally read like five different
interpretations of it this morning, five different versions like translations
of the Bible.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
And but but like I just kind of stumbled upon
this one.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
I was like, look, I'm gonna I'm gonna talk about
this version because it's more in plain English, and yeah,
explains it a little bit easier.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Also, it's a great it's a great way to explain that. Yeah.
And but we two as Christian also have to understand
the other side of it too. They they who don't believe,
don't have the Holy Spirit, so don't see as I see. Okay,
So therefore I must give them grace. They're not being
(44:41):
necessarily mean or hatred or whatever. They just don't see
the way that we see. Yeah, and that's okay, because
my hope is that God will touch your life and
that you will see His light one day, whether it's
through anything that we say, or anything that we reference,
or something that you see on Instagram. I think it
(45:02):
just starts with an interest. Just like if you don't
understand something that we say, hopefully you can go look
it up or whatnot. And that applies to just all
things in life. Like I don't know how to make this,
so I'm going to look up an ingredient. You know.
It's not like I'm gonna say it's stupid. This banana
(45:22):
bread is stupid. I don't know how to I don't
understand it. Well, I'm gonna go look up a recipe,
you know, speaking because I'm making banana bread today with
chocolate chips. So I was just thinking of that anyway. Yeah,
so I think lots of good stuff. I think we've
made a lot of good points today, hopefully, you know.
(45:45):
I felt like we were on a parenting a parenting
run and then just kind of talking about adjusting to
change and why why we do what we do, but
also why others don't understand what we do. As a Christian,
offering grace to those who don't see the light, but
(46:05):
those who don't see the light, praying that you can
seek it and it's not like, oh this magical wob changed,
you know, I can be can be yeah, but it's
been a life that I never would change because faith
(46:30):
has carried me through all the things that we've experienced,
from trying to have a family to then having quintuplets
and going through the Nick you and TV show and
marriage and I mean everything, everything. Our foundation is Jesus
and that is what keeps everything together. No matter what fights, arguments,
(46:53):
whatever is going to come in between, because the world
is nasty and things want to tear every good thing apart.
We always come back to but God. Yeah, so just
remember that.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Ye all right, guys, thank you for listening to episode
forty seven More than Reality Podcast. We'll see you in
the next one. Bye, guys, all right, Love you guys.
Whenever you face something like this, especially if it's something
new with your children, your instinct is like want to
get in there and just fix it.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
But that's not necessarily the right thing to do.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
It's like, how do you equip your kid in order
to be able to overcome that on their own? And
you know, I think that's where probably a lot of
parents get it wrong.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into
all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there
is so much more than the reality that you see
on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam
and Danielle Busby.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Wow, Hello, Hello, the Busbies are present.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, this is more than Reality podcast, Episode forty seven,
don't ask me. Yeah, Danielle, it's just right before I
hit hit start and she's like, forty episode forty five.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I was like, baby, it's forty seven. Close, House Close.
We're rolling through what's the latest, What's what's the We
still haven't found our little connet cards that we had
to They're still they're packed aways in some body literally
like one day at a time, like trying to slowly
like tackle a section of the house. And the problem
(01:27):
is is that you still live in the house, and
then yeah, the kids are like at school now and
so it's a little bit easier than the day, but
there's still things we're trying to manage with the other
house and get in on the market and still like,
oh my god, it's what's today, Yeah, and I have
a school meeting today. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, I think I think I think those connect cards
could possibly be in my box of books.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
But I'll just whatever question.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Whenever we moved, like, I had big bookshelf like with
glass doors and everything, and I had all my books
like up on the top shelf.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I love how you always complain how I give too
many details and stuff, and when you start talking, you
give like all these unnecessary details. But on the podcast
but not.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, yeah, but in this office whenever, in this house,
whenever we moved in, we put that bookshelf down in
like the seating area, in the fourier seating area area
of the house. And so I don't have a bookshelf
in here. So I haven't even opened that box, and
I think they might be in there, because I think
(02:39):
I've opened every other box.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I'm not sure it's called a bookshelf, but it's okay.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I made it a bookshelf, and I had all my
camera Like I need to get another shelf in here
so I could put like camera lenses and stuff on,
because now they're my desk is once again just like
the holding spot of all my lenses. Like whenever I
do a project, like I have to go and shoot
off site or whatever, like I pull everything out of
(03:06):
my bag pilot on my desk, only take off what
I need for that shoot, and then everything else stays
on my desk and right now I don't have a
place to organize that and put it away, and so
it all just like stays there. And it annoys me
because like three weeks ago, my desk was fairly clean.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Does it annoy you? It does? This is the cleanest
you've ever been. Well, still annoys me. It's good to
hear them. Yeah, stuff in places, so list don't go
there and get on your nurse. Yeah really so last
week especially, I need you to say that again my office,
(03:46):
And let's take a little break and hear from our sponsor. Yep.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
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heck is going on? Because one of the coins is
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She's like no, she just wanted to get in the bed.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
She wanted to It's like seven o'clock, it was. It
was right before seven. It was like time to get up.
And She's like, can I just come lay in these sheets?
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Cozy Earth.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Week Towards the end of the episode got a little
emotional about just like feelings and just like the emotions
of starting a new school starting like living.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
In a new area and well and experiencing and walking
through like something that you've never experienced with a specific
child before, like and so like if you didn't listen
to the last episode. We kind of got in a
topic of talking about, you know, it was the first
week of school and how things were, and then you know,
(06:34):
Riley doesn't like change, but once she like, for instance,
first day of school, she usually gets worked up for
first day of school, but then by the end of
school day she's like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, I was just that kid that she has to
have everything figured out yea, and she does black and white,
and she doesn't like, you know, you disrupting her schedule,
her idea of how the day is going to go.
And so whenever she gets put in a new situation,
like going to a new school where she it's just
so many unknowns there, new kids, new teacher, new classroom,
(07:09):
new school, it disrupts her world.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, and this time it was a lot heavier on her.
And something I feel like she'd never really fully experienced
was trying to understand I'm nervous about this. I don't
know what it's like, but now it's like physically affecting me.
And so she just had these major like stomach pains
and all that, and you know, a course of like
(07:37):
two days, it was like okay, like she's clearly experiencing
some anxiety. And then on that after the first day,
so she was fine the first day of school. It
really was like I think she was holding it in
and kind of like secretly maybe struggling, but didn't really
express it until like later that night after school and
(07:58):
just like prepping for like the next day. And so
you can go back and listen to episode the episode
Overwhelmed before. There's things that you know, we try to
do as parents, but we don't always know what to do.
And I think, you know, these these moments for me
specifically are pretty heavy because one they're emotional and I'm
(08:22):
not really an emotional person. And two, being a mom
is always a priority. But also when you get into
these levels of experiencing things that you've never stepped into
with a child and you don't know how to help
her or him. And I also didn't grow up with
(08:47):
that kind of like mothering type of care in a sense,
or we don't talk about feelings or emotions or yeah,
or just kind of that. Yeah, So it was it's
kind of like a breakthrough for like me and her
kind of you know, and I know in the past
we've had lots to talk about like Parker on out
(09:08):
daughter and said, we talked about Parker when she was
a lot younger with anxiety and stuff, and she's really
worked through that and knows how to use tools and
really just like vocalize, vocalize those things, so doing everything
that we normally know how to do. But this case
it was just very different in I don't know how
(09:30):
much I went into detail. I just know that I
ended up being emotional.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yeah, I mean, whenever you face something like this, especially
if it's something new with your children, your instinct is
like the one in there want to get in there
and just fix it and like want to you know,
just like work through it as fast as can as
you can to make those feelings or emotions go away.
(09:54):
But that's not necessarily the right thing to do. It's
you know, how do how do you equip your kid
in order to be able to overcome that on their own?
And you know, I think that's where probably a lot
of parents get it wrong, because they don't.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Want whatever their kids hurting, so they instantly tried to
like band aid and fix.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
It, and yeah, what's going to be the quick fix
to make them stop feeling this right now? And that's
not always the best thing. You know, you want your
kids to feel safe.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I think every situation in every in our world, like
we see different circumstances handled differently by six different children's emotions.
Like so we see on a broad span one action
that we might do in six different feelings in six
(10:47):
different ways. So we are always seeing a great load
of what how does one deal with this situation? Because
it's time six, right, but it's not necessarily time six.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It's i mean the literally our kids what could be
because they have six kids pretty much, and especially whenever
you're talking about the coins, because you know, it's very
unique circumstance. It's five kids that were born within four
minutes of each other, and their emotions you know, is
on every end of the spectrum really, you know, from
(11:26):
you know, super super anxious in situations two I could
care less, I could care less, you know, to type
A to just super happy and nothing really phases or
two you know, very emotional, bit up then also like
very goofy and just wants to make people laugh. I mean,
(11:46):
so it's just like all over the place, and so
you know, it's a it's a test for us as
parents because like you're navigating and you're having to communicate
completely different across the board, but you know, there is
similarities in the way that you can you can prepare
your kids for situations and set them up for success
(12:08):
and set them up to prepare them for you know,
in the event of anxiety or just fear or whatever.
I mean, we want to raise our kids so that
they have confidence in situations. And you know, we don't
don't let their don't let their emotions really get the
best of them, and teach them how to work through
(12:29):
those emotions in the moment instead of just relying on
you or running to mom every single time or running
to Dad every single time. How can they work through
that and are equipped and have the tools to work
through that.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, And I mean I think one of the the
more the older and older, you know, especially the Quins
get any I mean, even Blake, I think you're parenting.
It's never going to stay the same as they mature,
and as they get older, you have to learn to
adapt to their adjustments as well. And like overall, we
(13:07):
are a Jesus family, and we have a form of
discipline in our house and rules in our house, and
those family things don't change, but how your child responds
to different things, you might have to adjust. You don't
change the rules, you adjust. How do I help them
(13:29):
understand the rule in this situation, because you know one
of them is going to receive it and understand it
and the other one might need it interpret it a
different way. So same thing when we talk about like
academics and dyslexia and stuff, and you know, don't compare
your kids and all this, It goes the same way
with like their emotions, you know, because academic and dyslexia,
(13:52):
because we have some of their dyslexic like you. It's
basically they struggle to read because they don't their brain
doesn't see it the way that we see it. And
so I tell the other girls, like they just need
to learn a different language. They need to learn it
the way that they can read it. And once they've
learned those tools and how they can see it and
(14:14):
understand it and read it, then they learn how to read.
It's the same thing when it comes to the discipline
and the parenting and the raising and the teaching of
the kids. It's like this is our busby rules right
in our house. But this child I have to maybe
(14:36):
be a little bit more firm on this, or maybe
I have to be a little bit more descriptive, or
maybe they just need more time. And I think that's
the beautiful thing that we get to witness. And it's
hard because you're overwhelmed a lot because you have to adapt,
adapt to all of those levels all day, you know,
(15:00):
and we too are also human who also have heaviness,
who also have weight and anxiety and stressors and stuff,
and so it is. It's not an easy life, but
it's so rewarding and beautiful to see one. I think
if you're yourself and you're working through a trial or
(15:22):
a hard season or anxiety, and you walk through that
and you overcome it, you know what that feels like.
You feel a sense of relief. And so to teach
your kids how to overcome and walk through a trial
or a hard situation or something they don't understand, or
(15:43):
helping them read and you see that growth step, that
is what parenting is all about. Like it's teaching them
how to better their own skills and how to use
them to apply for life. For life, we're raising kids
to be able to do things on their own, because
(16:04):
you know, they're with us for eighteen years, and then
there are adults and go out and it's like we
can't just keep putting band aids and just telling them
that that doesn't matter, or don't help them with this
or that. It's like we've got to teach. As a parent,
that is a major role of like teaching your kids
(16:25):
how to handle situations. And you know, it's hard because
I grew up just dealing with things and having to
figure things out on my own and not knowing if
it was right or wrong.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
But that instilled a sense of like independence there right
where you know you were you had no choice but
to work through it yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah, and I think there is a lot of, you know,
baggage that comes with that later in life. I mean, yeah,
for sure, there's a lot of baggage. So especially when
I'm in a moment with you know, Riley, and really
what she wants she just wanted me to like lay
with her, and she's not a cuddler by any means,
(17:11):
and like she just like held my hand like the
whole time, and like when I started to feel that
like sense of like relief from her, like squeeze, I
was like, okay, like she's you know, feeling calmer, like
she's soothed. We're soothing this. We've talked about this, We've
prayed through this, and reminding her like maybe like no
(17:32):
matter what, you are never alone, like God is always
with you. And I told her if you need to,
you know, just close your eyes at your desk or
just put your head down for a moment and just pray,
God give me courage. I'm super nervous today, or I
need help, or if you need to excuse yourself and
go to the bathroom, or you need to go up
(17:53):
to the accounts or at school, like it's okay. Like
teaching our kids to be vocal for themselves and to
be able to express the feelings, it's powerful and it's
gonna make them stronger in the end, which is rewarding
as a parent to see your child be able to
(18:13):
work through something. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not
like you do this one time and they're gonna remember it. Well.
You know, it takes work, and it takes you as
a parent being mindful of you know, how can I
now help the next time? You know? And so like
Riley came home after tennis last night and said, Mom,
so we're gonna move again. And I was like, yeah, baby.
(18:36):
I was in Parker's like yeah, remember, Riley, we're just
in this house for a lease or a rental until
we find another house and we'll sell the other house
and then buy a house. And she's like, so we're
gonna move again, and I was like, yeah, Riley. I
was like, but don't worry. It's we have time to
adjust where it's not gonna be right now. We're not
going anywhere. We're gonna stay in this house for a year.
(18:56):
We're gonna stay in the same school. So sometimes they
just need a little bit more of like that affirmation
because change is scary and change is hard. And I
agree with that, and I think what's also beautiful. I
had a day with my best friend yesterday and we
were just kind of catching up and I was sharing
these things with her and she was like, you know,
(19:21):
when I was telling her a bother, She's like, something
that was so good that you are telling me is
that you also told your child that you too, as
a mom struggle at times. You two have to know
that you can't do it alone, you too have to
lean on Jesus to give you comfort and strength. And courage,
and she's like, that's what we need to be telling
(19:43):
our kids, Like, you know, we don't have it figured out.
We are not your savior. You know, God is our
savior and more than anything, I have to and I
tell and I've told Riley, and Riley you can have
like a higher level, real like real conversations with and
real like polytical and like, I don't know, it's just
(20:05):
it's it's so it's just different, like she's it's it's
it's a different level. And so yeah, because she thinks
really deep on like what does that mean and how
do I use that? But anyway, telling your kids this
goes into a lot of things about parenting, like telling
(20:26):
your kids like you mess up and when you mess
up that you apologize, just as you need to teach
them when they mess up, they need to apologize. And
if they see Adam and I being a tiff or something,
it's it's okay in a sense. I mean, we're not
going to like argue fight in front of the kids,
but we're not going to not show that we disagree
(20:49):
on things because that's normal and that's okay. But we
also come to a conclusion and make sure the kids
are clear and like, hey, I know Daddy and I
don't agree on that, but we know that we're going
to come and talk about this together because we need
to be on the same page. And so being perfect
is a lie. And I think that we have to
(21:16):
do better at being more real in the flesh to
our children, to our friends, to our community. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, that carries over through like every relationship that you have,
and you know, even just like meeting new friends and stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
And you know, I mean one aspect.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Of it is like, you know, whenever we we'll start
a new small group, sorry whatever, it's all over that
bill though, whenever we you know, situations like whenever we
start a new small group and you're you're faced with
(21:59):
like a group of people that you don't really know
that you know, those barriers are still up because you
know everybody in the room is wondering, can I trust
this person? You know what one thing that always works
is leading through vulnerability. And you know you're never going
to tear those tear those walls down unless you become
(22:23):
vulnerable and you open up and you tell about your
struggles and you you know, you give a relatable moment
and that's whenever those walls start to come down. And
so yeah, I mean your kids always thinking that you
never have an issue, You never have a problem. Mommy
and Daddy never argue like that's that's a lie.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, that's not real. There are two different individuals and
there is no one that's going to be just like you. Yeah,
I mean they're gould create you individually, differently and unique.
And I mean even within you know the household of
just having siblings and stuff, and it's like, well, I'm
trying to think of example, like well, how come she
can't see that? Or how comes she doesn't read that right?
(23:07):
Or how comes she doesn't know the answer to that
math question or how and it's like whoa, We all
process differently, like you are you? Yeah? And she is she? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Like just a few weeks ago, Danielle and I were
having like a discussion, a little bit of an argument.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Just I mean it's natural because we both work from home.
We told you all that we are very different processors
and communicators in love language.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
We both run our businesses from our home, which I
do other stuff outside of home too, but a lot
of my stay I do in home, and you know,
and a lot of that stuff overlaps, and we work together,
and so we're trying to navigate schedules and works, you know,
home schedules, work schedules, schedules with the kids and their activities,
(23:55):
and also you know, if there's stuff that we have
to collaborate on with work, it all has to work
in a sense.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
And sometimes those schedules.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Get out of whack or whatnot, and you know, you
just assume that the other knows, and you know, if
if a ball drops or whatever.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
So a few weeks ago, we had like an argument
over just like scheduling.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
And the kid.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
The kids weren't the kids weren't in the room, and
but I know Riley heard it because she was like
right upstairs in the playroom.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
That's just all open to them. When I told you
you're smarter than that, I don't know, but.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You know, so whenever I was putting Riley to bed
that night, she you know, looked visibly upset, and she's like,
I heard you and mommy fighting, And so had to
like sit down with her and like kind of talk
with her through it about you know, hey, where mommy
and Daddy work together, we're with each other twenty four
(25:02):
to seven. Do you think that we will never have
a disagreement? Was like, but that does not affect you
or how much mommy and daddy love each other or
anything like that, Like you don't have to worry about that,
and and just kind of talking with her through that
(25:23):
to just to show that, like, Okay, it's normal to
have disagreements. I was like, but mommy and daddy work
through that and we talk. You know, sometimes the conversations
may get a little higher elevated, but we work through
it and we're fine afterwards. But you know, just because
you hear that, and you hear you know, we're having
a disagreement, doesn't mean that because they have kids. You know,
(25:47):
they have friends or whatever whose parents are divorced and stuff,
and you know they see that and so it strikes
a little fear in them. But to constantly reassure in
your kids like no, like that's that doesn't happen in
this house. Like we're Jesus family, and Jesus is the
center of this family and then the center of mom
(26:07):
and dad's relationship, and you know, we're gonna work through that.
And you know, whenever it comes to like hearing about
your friend's parents divorce or whatever, like like that is
not even a mommy and daddy's vocabulary. And we're going
to work through those problems.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
So all you public tabloid stories, it's not in our vocabulary.
It's not in our busbye book.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, so much speculation about everything, but yeah, you know,
that's just one of those things.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I mean, you just got to talk to your kids
and work. You got to give your space for that too. Man,
you gotta just like everything else in life, there's never
enough time. But when it comes to being a parent,
you've got to give time to your kids. Like it's
you'll never get it back. And I mean even as
his parents and we've got six kids, Blake's fourteen quins
(27:01):
or ten, you get these reminders all the time of
like old photos or some this or that, and it's
like time goes by fast. It really does. But you've
got every single day. You've got to give you your
kids some quality time every day, every day. I don't
care if it's two minutes or twenty five minutes or
two hours, it's important because whether you get home late
(27:27):
from work, I don't know what your schedule looks like,
but I think giving your child quality time is going
to really build security in their little comfort zone of
you know, the house. And like, you got to give
(27:47):
time to your spouse, you got to give time to
your kids, You got to give time to your community,
You got to give time to your family and your friends.
You know, there's a lot of things on the schedule
that you got to give time to. But what you've
been and gifted with if you have children is that
is the biggest gift and that is the biggest blessing.
But the biggest responsibility that you have as a parent
(28:12):
is to raise that child right. And not all families are,
you know, the same. And there is brokenness and we
understand that, but I also know that within brokenness, God
also brings healing. And so if you were in a
(28:34):
walking through of separation restoration, like whatever that season may be,
maybe you're you know, wanting to have a family, or
you're looking for your spouse, like God, if you can,
if you can take your heart and grasp onto him first,
I promise you the life that you expected is going
(28:57):
to be something different because his way is better. Yeah, yeah, Forced, Frank,
you will ways better love Force Frank Man. I just
loved him.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yeah, I mean, Riley started her new season of tennis yesterday,
which is a rally topic today, and it was a
completely new I can never wear white, like three new
coaches and you know, her, her other coach that she's
been with for the last few years went on to
(29:33):
bigger and better things, and and so she was going
into this brand new class with new teachers, new coaches,
and obviously, you know, you just wonder how she's going
to react to that because it's something new, and so
Riley doesn't have this figured out yet because she doesn't
know these coaches. But she did great, and she just
kind of put herself out there and she had fun.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
But she's not only and just had that one coach, yeah,
the last two seasons.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
So but she's you know, I left room for you know,
conversation afterwards and stuff. And then she, yeah, she started
asking about the house and are we going to move again?
And you know, we started having this conversation about like
you know, she's she's telling me, but I was like, Riley,
we're going to be in this house for at least
a year. I said, you don't really have to worry
(30:19):
about that. We were not even completely settled in this
house yet, so don't even don't worry about that right now.
But because she was just talking about, well, I don't
know if I want to move again, because now we
now I've made these friends here. And I was like, Riley,
this is the exact thing that you were talking about
just a few weeks ago. Whenever we were moving here
was you don't want to you don't want to leave
(30:40):
your friends back home. But the second you got here,
you made new friends. And now you're already talking about
don't want to leave these new friends. And so you know,
you got put in a new situation and you overcame
and you made new friends there, and that's.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
A big deal.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
And she, you know, she's thinking about things in a
different way, and she's like, oh, yeah, okay. She's like, well,
what about next year, I'm gonna have to go to
a new school. So she goes immediately goes right to
another thing. And I was like, yeah, but you're gonna
go to middle school. So every elementary school in our
whole area, like all those friends and stuff that you
(31:19):
made at this elementary school, everybody's going to go to
the other school. So you're gonna have the same friends
at the other school and stuff, and she's like, okay,
but where's that school at.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
She's just on to the next question. It's just so
I know, it's she keeps you on your toes. Sure
she's got to have it all figured out.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
And so she's that kid and it has to have
everything figured out. She's gonna have a million questions and
you got to make sure you answer them right because
if you don't, she's gonna call you out on her.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
She's so much like me, And that's like that answer
wasn't good enough because you didn't explain it right, or.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
You know, like some of the other kids, like you
may just give like a very high level answer and
they're like Okay, they're fine with it or whatever and
just on to the next thing. But Riley, she was
gonna sit there and she's going to think about it.
We like, and she's going to have a follow up.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I love it, but also also what you just said
about she always has to have it figured out, which
I feel like we all want life figured out and
we're never going to have it figured out. And a
lot of our motto has been we'll figure it out,
figure it out, figured it out, We figured it out
(32:35):
as we go and we do. But it's another one
of those parenting things that I think. You know that
we are Christians, so we we have a place in
our heart and like a conviction and something else that
we decide to help us make decisions. And it's not
(32:56):
just our own self, it is we pray about things,
we read scripture, we look for discernment, we you know,
coincide with like other couples if we have hard decisions
that we need to make and stuff, and so being
able to express your kids like yeah, you know, I
mean obviously as parents we are not going to like
(33:20):
and still fear all the time in our kids. But
in Riley's situation where like we'll move again, and it's like, listen,
we don't know what. We don't have to have that
figured out right now, you know, we don't have to
and we don't know where God's going to place us.
And really trying to teach them too that we don't
(33:40):
have it, we don't have to have it figured out.
But you also have to make sure that you're still
teaching your kids like we are secure no matter what,
this family will always be enough and like God is
enough and it doesn't matter what the house looks like
it doesn't matter what the asthetics are. It's not about
(34:02):
those things, because a lot of like worldly things and oh,
I want a bigger house or I want this, or
I want a mansion, and you know, all kids go
through that, so just really trying to teach them. And
I think all this has really been like a humbling
experience for us and them, big change and just really
leaning on, like going through seasons of like not necessarily
(34:26):
knowing the purpose, but we're following the call. And so
as our kids and as the quints are getting older
and really understanding like more of like what faith is
or prayer, it just brings on other levels of questions
that once again bring on great conversations. And so I
(34:49):
don't know, it's we're in a phase two where I
can see now if I look back from like a
year plus ago and thinking, man, God really needed us
to adapt and change our life schedules, and we have abided.
(35:11):
And it hasn't been easy, and I think still kind
of like struggling through some of this change. But it
is evident that as we are approaching these you know,
like tween preteen age with the quints, like presentness is
is needed more than anything. Yeah, because they just I
(35:36):
don't even know how to explain it. It's just really hard.
And I think that they need us more present as
they're going through, you know, the big phase of life change.
One we drastically changed home city all that stuff. But
two they're going to be approaching you know, hormones and
all that, and that's just a that's a lot. So
(36:00):
they but what that's doing to their bodies internally is
is confusing them. And then they might be emotional about
something and don't know how to explain it, or they
might want to cry and don't know why. Like I
remember I remember this with Blake when one day and
she just said, I'll never forget this because like the
first time that was just like and I was never
emotional or had like a mom said come cry with me,
(36:21):
and I just said, what's wrong. She's like, I don't know.
And I said, okay, well that's okay, Like do we
just want to cry? And she says yes, And I
was like, then let's just cry, Like let's just let's cry.
It's okay. Like let's just sit here. I'll sit next
to you, I'll hold you, I'll give you a hug. Whatever,
let's just cry. And so that's the that's the phase
that we're walking into where they just don't know what
(36:43):
they need, but they need they need mom, and they're
going to need dad, you know. And so I'm very
thankful that we are here. We've walked through a big
season of like change, and we're not even on the
other side of that, I don't think, And I think
God's still molding something out of this, and I'm hopeful
(37:06):
and I know that the way that I don't have
it figured out. But what I do know is God
has made it so evident to me his calling and
his path that I know and if we are obedient
to stay on that path, it will be beautiful and
(37:28):
better than we can expect on the end. So we're
in that walking phase. I don't have it figured out,
but we lean on Him for how do we do this?
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Yeah, and also like kind of communicate just kind of
just communicating that to your kids of like why we're
making these decisions and why you know, we're attentive to
God's direction and what that looks like to us and
stuff like that, just so they understand and and get
(38:01):
it and and want to know more about that. And
want to ask questions about that and like what does
that look like? I mean, just even today like reading
my Bible and just came across this passage and you know,
it's like a revelation of you know, so many people
sending us messages and stuff or making comments and stuff
on our on our social media about like why we moved,
(38:24):
and people just don't understand it.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
And like we've had.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Multiple multiple messages of just like talking and podcast about
just like talking through you know, our motives and what
we're doing and why we're moving. And a big part
of that is stuff that a lot of people just
don't understand as far as God, you know, directing this
(38:49):
move and stuff. And you know, I read this passage
today and it just like kind of shines a light on,
you know, the criticism that we receive from saying that
we're open to God's direction and we're going to move
when you know, God wants us to move and we're
going to go in the direction and we're going to
we're going to follow, you know, that light whenever he's
(39:13):
saying take a step, you know, we're going to try
to be open to take that step. But it's in
first Corinthians. It's chapter two fourteenth or sixteen, and it says,
you see, if God's spirit is not living inside people,
they they can't believe any message from God. They can't
understand what God wants to teach them. They think it's
(39:36):
all stupid. You see, the Holy Spirit is the only
one that can help people understand the things of God.
People that have God's spirit can think about all these
things and understand them. But people that haven't got God's
spirit can never understand the people that have got his spirit,
(39:56):
God says. God says this in his book. Nobody can
know what God is thinking. Nobody can try to tell
him the right way to think. But the Holy Spirit
is in us, so we can think the same way
that Jesus Christ thinks. And you know, a lot of
people that just don't have that understanding, don't have that
(40:17):
same faith, that don't don't believe what we believe, just
don't understand it. And so they think that, oh, y'all
just talk yourself in circles and you haven't explained why
you moved. We have explained why we moved. You know,
people that just don't have that level of understanding, you know,
may not be religious or may not have the Holy
(40:39):
Spirit within them just don't understand it. And that's I mean,
that's okay. But you know, this is what we've tried
to explain, and this is the direction that we've let
God lead us.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Well, and hopefully, hopefully some I guess the hope would
be if things that we are saying bother you because
they don't make sense and you don't understand it, My
hope would be is that you don't bash it, but
you say, I wonder what they're talking about, and go
(41:15):
look it up and go seek the Bible. Go read John,
go read. I mean, you can start anywhere in the Bible.
But like there are yes, we live in a country
of freest speech and all the things, and we're gonna
get bad with good and good with bad. Right. But
I think in an easy interpretation of that is saying,
(41:38):
we as Christians have a faith in the Holy Spirit
within us that dwells within us, and it helps us
do life. It helps us do life. So you who
don't understand that, who don't have the Holy Spirit within them,
it's like me asking a color blind person what color
(41:59):
is this? Right, It's like walking in the forest without
a compass. Yeah, so we understand that you might not
understand it. But my hope is that don't necessarily bash
it or run from it. But we talked about this
a while back. Conversate, conversate, you don't have to agree,
(42:22):
have conversations about it. Ask. You know, a lot of
times we get an abundant amount of messages. We cannot
keep up with all of that, but we do see
these messages coming in, and I hope that we too
can do a better job at you know, and asking
God like help us to use our words to speak
(42:45):
to the people that are listening to this, because I
know I'm not perfect and I'm a verbal processor, so
I talk and then I hear it.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Yeah, but it's just it was actually comforting to read that, Yeah,
because and then hopefully that brings you comfort like somebody
that does walk in faith and let lets the Holy
Spirit guide you in your decisions and your direction and
stuff like that, because it specifically says here in the Bible.
You know, the people that don't have that withinside within them,
(43:17):
whenever they hear that, they think it's stupid. They think
you're stupid because you're doing these things that they don't understand.
And I mean the Bible says.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
That, and I think it's as stupid.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Well that's my I did a version of this. Uh,
it doesn't stupid, playing English version or something like that.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
But it was like it was like teen speak.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
It's the one referencing today.
Speaker 4 (43:54):
I mean, it's very it's a simple it's a simple
way to I mean I literally read like five different
interpretations of it this morning, five different versions like translations
of the Bible.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
And but but like I just kind of stumbled upon
this one.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
I was like, look, I'm gonna I'm gonna talk about
this version because it's more in plain English, and yeah,
explains it a little bit easier.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Also, it's a great it's a great way to explain that. Yeah.
And but we two as Christian also have to understand
the other side of it too. They they who don't believe,
don't have the Holy Spirit, so don't see as I see. Okay,
So therefore I must give them grace. They're not being
(44:41):
necessarily mean or hatred or whatever. They just don't see
the way that we see. Yeah, and that's okay, because
my hope is that God will touch your life and
that you will see His light one day, whether it's
through anything that we say, or anything that we reference,
or something that you see on Instagram. I think it
(45:02):
just starts with an interest. Just like if you don't
understand something that we say, hopefully you can go look
it up or whatnot. And that applies to just all
things in life. Like I don't know how to make this,
so I'm going to look up an ingredient. You know.
It's not like I'm gonna say it's stupid. This banana
(45:22):
bread is stupid. I don't know how to I don't
understand it. Well, I'm gonna go look up a recipe,
you know, speaking because I'm making banana bread today with
chocolate chips. So I was just thinking of that anyway. Yeah,
so I think lots of good stuff. I think we've
made a lot of good points today, hopefully, you know.
(45:45):
I felt like we were on a parenting a parenting
run and then just kind of talking about adjusting to
change and why why we do what we do, but
also why others don't understand what we do. As a Christian,
offering grace to those who don't see the light, but
(46:05):
those who don't see the light, praying that you can
seek it and it's not like, oh this magical wob changed,
you know, I can be can be yeah, but it's
been a life that I never would change because faith
(46:30):
has carried me through all the things that we've experienced,
from trying to have a family to then having quintuplets
and going through the Nick you and TV show and
marriage and I mean everything, everything. Our foundation is Jesus
and that is what keeps everything together. No matter what fights, arguments,
(46:53):
whatever is going to come in between, because the world
is nasty and things want to tear every good thing apart.
We always come back to but God. Yeah, so just
remember that.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Ye all right, guys, thank you for listening to episode
forty seven More than Reality Podcast. We'll see you in
the next one. Bye, guys, all right, Love you guys.
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